Quotable Quotes: Lines from TV You've Made Your Own

[ABay]

From a Fruit of the Loom ad I can't find on Youtube in which this is said to the FotL apple, and now said by me to my very plump cat: You, I save for struedel, chubnik.

Edited March 4, 2017 by ABay

[ari333]

My bf does something - whatever it is. Then he looks at me and says, "I'm Joey. I'm disgusting." It's from Friends when Joey had to pretend he was in love with Monica to hide the fact from the others that it was really Chandler who was with Monica.

Other times if things are tense, he busts out a, "YOU'RE a TOWEL!" "NO, YOU'RE a towel!"  from South Park Towel-y episode. It is so absurd that it's hilarious. (I guess you had to be there) :-) And he uses that high (no pun intended) pitched Towel-y voice.  

Sometimes he says for no reason , "Giggity  giggity goo!" (Quagmire, Family Guy)

Edited March 8, 2017 by ari333

[selkie]

Ah, Farscape. John spent the run of the series trying to keep his sanity by bringing the snark. 

"It's beer o'clock, where the hell is my riot?"

"Can I get a 'Hell Yeah!'?

"Fetch the comfy chair."

"Have we sent the "don’t shoot us we're pathetic" transmission yet?"

"Cross my heart, smack me dead, stick a lobster on my head!"

And from Zhaan:

"My dear, I've kicked more ass than you've sat on."

And Aeryn:

" Merry Frelling Christmas."

[St. Claire]

I probable owe Aaron Sorkin royalties for all of the West Wing and Sports Night lines that are just part of my normal, daily speech:

• Just stand in your wrongness and be wrong 
• I'm just sitting here, with no provolone
• and some days you just stand there, hip deep in pie
• If you haven't seen [excellent thing], you haven't seen Shakespeare as it was meant to be played
• I will kill you with my hands
• I'm very much afraid of fish
• The length of this conversation is way out of proportion to my interest in it
• Are you some sort of nutty nut girl[guy] who's nuts?!
• You think?!
• ...but I'd already moved on to other things in my head
• If I were living in Qumar, I wouldn't be able to way "shove it up your ass;" but I'm not, so I'll say "shove it up your ass" (sometimes I clean up the language a tad...)
• [Insert name] has the charm and charisma of my high school driving instructor
• I told many, many people
• I've read Dr. Zhivago from cover to cover, but it doesn't make the czar.

 

I use Mad Men's "Not great, Bob!" enough that my kids have picked up on it, despite never having seen the show. 

[Moose135]

1 hour ago, St. Claire said:

I probable owe Aaron Sorkin royalties for all of the West Wing and Sports Night lines that are just part of my normal, daily speech

Oh me too!  I use the tempt the wrath line, imagine my surprise, I often call things, well, "the thing", and many others.

[amaranta]

Not a quote but a thing; a friend and I will occasionally Leslie Knope each other.  "Oh, amaranta,  you curly haired delicate butterfly."   And, yes, our words frequently make no sense.

Quote

Just stand in your wrongness and be wrong 

I'm very much afraid of fish

Two of my favorites. 

[ari333]

Quote

Quote

Quote

•  

 

 

Cant get the boxes off. Sorry

Sometimes when we don't want to do something we say, "The Schmenkmens are coming."  (the made-up couple from King of Queens.) Or we use the "Sacskys" (Swim Neighbors) 

[merylinkid]

When we were kids and playing backyard baseball, my dad was the pitcher (for everybody, it was safer that way).   Every time he would wind up to pitch my sister would yell out "Oh No Mr. Bill" from Saturday Night live.   The neighborhood kids started calling him Mr. Bill.   We knew it was definitely a thing when they called my mom Mrs. Bill one day.   My sister and I will still occassionaly say "Oh no Mr. Bill" when something goes wrong.

[St. Claire]

2 hours ago, Moose135 said:

Oh me too!  I use the tempt the wrath line, imagine my surprise, I often call things, well, "the thing", and many others.

Oh, and I totally forgot to add how often I exhort folks not to "...talk to me like I'm other people."

[ari333]

"You are so bilgistic" (KoQ /Carrie's B'day)

[cpcathy]

If my husband thinks he's getting too tubby, he calls himself "Fatty McButterpants." (KoQ)

[meep.meep]

On 3/8/2017 at 0:07 PM, merylinkid said:

When we were kids and playing backyard baseball, my dad was the pitcher (for everybody, it was safer that way).   Every time he would wind up to pitch my sister would yell out "Oh No Mr. Bill" from Saturday Night live.   The neighborhood kids started calling him Mr. Bill.   We knew it was definitely a thing when they called my mom Mrs. Bill one day.   My sister and I will still occassionaly say "Oh no Mr. Bill" when something goes wrong.

But did she do the voice?  You have to do the Mr. Bill voice.

Mine is much more shameful because it comes from that MTV show The Challenge.  I am a short woman with short arms.  On that show, they are partnered up man-woman.  One guy was explaining to the camera how he was concerned about how his partner was going to handle something because "Jen has little raptor arms" and then he did the arm flop.  So, I talk about my little raptor arms and flap my arms from the elbow.  Cracks people up.

[merylinkid]

1 hour ago, meep.meep said:

But did she do the voice?  You have to do the Mr. Bill voice.

Of course she did.   It wouldn't have been notable otherwise.

[meep.meep]

Then all is right in the world.

[SirOsisOfLiver]

When being observed doing something klutzy: "I meant to do that." (Bart Simpson voice)

When explaining how to make something: "Hit the thing with the thing and make another thing." (King Richard on Galavant)

[Raja]

From Dennis Farina, Detective Fontana of Law & Order. "its okay I'm authorized"

[ari333]

This is a little one, but , "Off you go!" [/Frasier]

"She left me which was painful. Then she came back.... which was excruciating. " [/Frasier]

"You know what? Copernicus called and you are NOT the center of the universe."

I'm a Frasier fan  in case it isn't obvious. :-)

[Luckylyn]

"I want to go to there." (30 Rock)

"I didn't fail.  I was pre-successful." (The Good Place)

[Raja]

From the Shannon's Deal pilot where they know the government has their phone tapped and the client was involved in a CIA drugs for cooperation plot. So they set up a fake phone call so the US Attorney will cut a deal. "I have the tapes, pictures and all "muy dramatica"

[Luckylyn]

On 3/24/2017 at 2:12 PM, PatternRec said:

:D 

Legion

[MargeGunderson]

I've been watching Pushing Daisies and Emerson Cod has a wealth of quotes that I want to use in real life. Specifically, "That idea might make a stupid idea feel better about itself."  I'm sure I could use this at work, but I should probably just say it in my head.

[blueray]

While I haven't actually said this, I've always wanted too.

Hurley's mom (Lost): "falling down is not exercising".

[Sandman87]

Here's a gem from the most recent new episode of Attack on Titan that I plan to use whenever someone takes exception to something that I say about them:

"If then shoe fits, then shove it up your ass!"

[Luckylyn]

From Glow

Reggie: I've never seen Cheers.
Sheila: It's great. It's about an invisible woman named Vera.

I keep hoping someone can mention the show cheers so I can have an excuse to say the Vera line.

[bosawks]

I use this from Mad Men for when people are fishing for thanks: "That's what the money's for!"

I also have a soft spot for:

"Well, I'm president of the Howdy Doody circus army!"

“Grimy little pimp” 

"You just ooze everywhere".

[meep.meep]

I just came very close to telling my boss that "This is not good for my rage" 

[Mittengirl]

On 3/19/2017 at 10:31 AM, ari333 said:

This is a little one, but , "Off you go!" [/Frasier]

"She left me which was painful. Then she came back.... which was excruciating. " [/Frasier]

"You know what? Copernicus called and you are NOT the center of the universe."

I'm a Frasier fan  in case it isn't obvious. :-)

My favorite Frasier quote - “Who knew ducks were so shifty?”

Runner up - “Toast sweat.  it is the scourge of our time.”

It is amazing how many times those lines have been appropriate to a conversation.

Edited August 25, 2018 by Mittengirl

[Shannon L.]

Slightly changed from Brooklyn 99:  Whenever my husband goes out of town on business, I have to say "I get to starfish!"

[Snow Apple]

When situations like a parking space open up or free food at work, I always go "swarm, swarm!" which is from Seinfeld.

[Shannon L.]

My son and I just started watching Community and now I've started saying "Cool. Cool, cool, cool". 

[AntiBeeSpray]

From Fraiser: 'Excuse me while I go and poke out my mind's eye'

From Seinfeld: 'Sponge-worthy'; 'No soup for you'

From Murphy Brown: 'I've experienced life, and I'm here to tell you it's overrated.'

From That 70's Show: 'Dumbass'

From the Simpsons:

Homer: Well, what do you think, Marge? All I need is a title. I was thinking along the lines of... No Tv and no beer make Homer go something something.

Marge: Go crazy?

Homer: Don't mind if I do!

----

Milhouse:  'Everything's coming up Milhouse!'

 

From Back to the Future:

'Dr. Emmett Brown: Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads.'

'Dr. Emmett Brown: Great Scott! '

 

From Robin Hood: Men in Tights:

Man in church: Hey Abbot! 

 

From The X Files:

MULDER: I have seen the life on this planet, Scully, and that is exactly why I am looking elsewhere. 

 

From Taxi:

[Jim is taking his driver's test]

Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Psst. What does a yellow light mean?

Bobby Wheeler: Slow down.

Reverend Jim Ignatowski: OK. What... does... a... yellow... light... mean?

Bobby Wheeler: Slow down!

Reverend Jim Ignatowski: OK. Wwwwhhhaaaat dooeesss aaaa yyyeeeellllowwww lllliiiight mmmmeeeannn?

Bobby Wheeler: Slow down!

Reverend Jim Ignatowski: OK. Wwwwwwhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaat dddddddoooooooeeeeeesssssssss aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa yyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllloooooooowwwwwwwww liiiiiiiiiigggggghhhhhtt mmmmmeeeeeeaaaaaan?

Edited November 13, 2018 by AntiBeeSpray

[DrSpaceman73]

The Simpsons alone could fill up this thread. 

"Don't blame me.  I voted for Kodos".  Comes up handy in many political conversations

When the aurora borealis comes up,  ".....at this time of year, in this part of the country, located entirely in your kitchen!?"

Whenever a long overdue retirement takes place, "But why now?  Why not 10 years ago", as asked to Krusty when he announces his retirement

And for some reason this one pops into my mind often, from Homer, at work, "You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel"

 

Non-Simpsons ones :

Joey's "How YOU doin'"

ANd one already mentioned, Gob from Arrested Development and his "Come ON!"

[ratgirlagogo]

3 hours ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

The Simpsons alone could fill up this thread. 

 

Homer, to the convenience store clerk:   "Give me one of those porno magazines, a large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a box of panty shields, someillegalfireworks and one of those disposable enemas. You know what, make it two."

Marge, looking through the contents of the shopping bag:  "Gee, I don't know what you have planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out."

 

And when the three bullies say to Nelson after his date with Lisa:   "You kissed a girl!  That is SO GAY!"

Edited November 13, 2018 by ratgirlagogo

[Proclone]

On 3/7/2017 at 10:30 PM, selkie said:

Ah, Farscape. John spent the run of the series trying to keep his sanity by bringing the snark. 

 

And Aeryn:

" Merry Frelling Christmas."

Ah Farscape, such a quotable show.  I've actully used Aeryn's "Frell me dead." And Frell in general when trying not to curse. 

[festivus]

16 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

My son and I just started watching Community and now I've started saying "Cool. Cool, cool, cool". 

Yeah, I watched it several years ago with my son and that one's in our lexicon now.

[DrSpaceman73]

10 hours ago, ratgirlagogo said:

 

Homer, to the convenience store clerk:   "Give me one of those porno magazines, a large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a box of panty shields, someillegalfireworks and one of those disposable enemas. You know what, make it two."

Marge, looking through the contents of the shopping bag:  "Gee, I don't know what you have planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out."

 

And when the three bullies say to Nelson after his date with Lisa:   "You kissed a girl!  That is SO GAY!"

Another one from Nelson :  He has a "nuke the whales" shirt on that Lisa questions and he says

"Gotta nuke something"

[Tanichka]

“You know, we’re living in a society!”

[Snow Apple]

52 minutes ago, Tanichka said:

“You know, we’re living in a society!”

That's one of mine too.

I have also been known to randomly blurt out "It's chocolate, it's peppermint, it's delicious! It's very refreshing!"

[Tanichka]

2 minutes ago, Snow Apple said:

That's one of mine too.

I have also been known to randomly blurt out "It's chocolate, it's peppermint, it's delicious! It's very refreshing!"

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that”

[Silver Raven]

I always say "Yoink" when I grab something.

[Nordly Beaumont]

If you remember Laugh In, you may remember Rowan and Martin's bit where they played spies. It would always start with Dan saying: "I've got the yo-yo" Dick: "I've got the string" - Dan would pass complicated, ridiculous directions to Dick. Then he'd ask "you got that?" and Dick would say "I lost you at the bakery" - (of course there was no bakery!). My whole life, instead of saying "I don't understand" my family says "I lost you at the bakery."

[Macbeth]

On November 13, 2018 at 11:24 AM, Tanichka said:

“You know, we’re living in a society!”

That one I say a lot when I am driving. But with a lot more swears. 

[Sandman87]

One from SNL's early days that I use when someone tells me about all the useful things a new gadget can do: "It's a floor wax and a dessert topping!"

[Bort]

[MaryMitch]

My brother-in-law and I have both glommed onto the expression "It's a major award!" from "A Christmas Story".

[KWalkerInc]

From That 70's Show, when my sister once convinced me we should take our mother to dinner rather than staying in for pizza, I then said to sister, "Thanks a lot, Eric!  Now I have to put on a bra!"

A friend and I both use a quote from One Tree Hill (played frequently on The Soup) whenever an entertainment news show mentions singing group 98 Degrees or Nick Lachey on his own:  "Stay out of it...Nick Lachey."  (Lachey played a version of himself on OTH for reasons I can't remember and was butting in with opinions about a character's love life.  The Soup latched onto the randonmess of it all.)

[Popples]

2 hours ago, KWalkerInc said:

A friend and I both use a quote from One Tree Hill (played frequently on The Soup) whenever an entertainment news show mentions singing group 98 Degrees or Nick Lachey on his own:  "Stay out of it...Nick Lachey."  (Lachey played a version of himself on OTH for reasons I can't remember and was butting in with opinions about a character's love life.  The Soup latched onto the randonmess of it all.)

I do this, too! I only know the line from The Soup and couldn't for the life of me remember what show it was from, so thanks for that.

[Bort]

4 hours ago, KWalkerInc said:

From That 70's Show, when my sister once convinced me we should take our mother to dinner rather than staying in for pizza, I then said to sister, "Thanks a lot, Eric!  Now I have to put on a bra!"

Which reminds me of my friend's tendency to not decide she wants to go out somewhere that night until 9 or 10 o'clock, and I'm something of an early bird, so I always have to keep telling her that she needs to decide this earlier in the day, because if she waits til it's too late, this is my attitude:

[Vixenstud]

Martin, ‘Thanks for Giving’ – While shucking raggly-assed peas for Thanksgiving dinner, Mama Payne asked Pam if there was a chance that she and Martin would get together and Pam responded with a brusque ‘Ain’t gonna happen, Cap’n!’

Been using it ever since!

[MissAlmond]

Long before 9/11, I was saying "Let's Roll" à la Mr. Burns after watching The Simpsons "Rosebud" episode.