S03.E11: Hard To Say I'm Sorry

[Persnickety1]

18 minutes ago, Spike said:

Then while she is at work he gets “bored” like Jay and gets on Tinder.

Where there's so. much. beautiful.  

[BallisticNikki]

21 minutes ago, not you again said:

Re Ben's prospects:  I can see Prison Ministry.  Maybe Homeless Ministry.  NO way he's going to keep the attention/fascination of mainstream adults or youth/children.

I really can't see inmates being able to relate to him at all. I do think he's prbly a nice guy, tho. I don't understand why his friends/family/church family don't steer him back to dating locally. He's the last person who ought to be embarking on this K1 journey.

[invisiblegirl12]

14 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

33 minutes ago, Spike said:

Then while she is at work he gets “bored” like Jay and gets on Tinder.

Where there's so. much. beautiful.  

So perfect. So beautiful.

[Bryce Lynch]

2 hours ago, Drogo said:

I just had to remind myself we're talking about Ben.  

Ben could market himself as the antidote to the "cool guy" youth pastor epidemic.  

[Spike]

1 minute ago, Bryce Lynch said:

Ben could market himself as the antidote to the "cool guy" youth pastor epidemic.  

I could see him as a Christian puppeteer teaching bible lessons.

[Bryce Lynch]

6 minutes ago, not you again said:

I can't see inmates relating to him either, but I can see him naively trying.  I believe the jargon is "feeling called".

Honestly, I can't see how he will be able to make it as a minister.  I can see him driving a bus.  Nothing too strenuous, with a minimum of interaction with people.

Well, at least after what he went through with Fidel and Father Bikini and their scare tactics, I don't think the murderers, robbers and rapists in prison would intimidate him.  I could see him say, "Yo! You think you can scare me?  I've been surrounded by a roomful a Kenyans interrogating me and staring longingly at my kidneys!  You're like girl scouts compared to them!"  

Maybe Music Ministry is Ben's path! 😄

[Bryce Lynch]

3 hours ago, queenbee24 said:

God I forgot about Tiny Tim. I think the tell all needs a drunk Veronica to spill the beans on what the heck his deal is. Was his wiener shot off in war or something?

Maybe an accident in his gun shop?

[liammaam]

If aliens watched this episode without knowing anything about Earthling love, this would be what they would come away with:

• Throwing cake or drinks is an appropriate response to anger.
• Cake and drinks are also an appropriate way to apologize (but beware- these items can and will be thrown again, starting the cycle all over).
• Giving a dirty, re-used engagement ring is totally fine and will NEVER blow up in your face (side note:  You fucking idiot, Tim.  You fucking idiot.)
• As long as you have one happy day in exchange for one day of tears, anger, drama and/or cake, then you are emotionally stable and in a good place to live together forever.
• All you need for True Love are these phrases:

"I love you so maaaaach."

"It/You is/are so be-you-tiful."

"Baby."  Alternate:  "Habibi." 

Boom!  You are officially in love!  No other knowledge of your partner is necessary.

[Bryce Lynch]

25 minutes ago, liammaam said:

If aliens watched this episode without knowing anything about Earthling love, this would be what they would come away with:

• Throwing cake or drinks is an appropriate response to anger.
• Cake and drinks are also an appropriate way to apologize (but beware- these items can and will be thrown again, starting the cycle all over).
• Giving a dirty, re-used engagement ring is totally fine and will NEVER blow up in your face (side note:  You fucking idiot, Tim.  You fucking idiot.)
• As long as you have one happy day in exchange for one day of tears, anger, drama and/or cake, then you are emotionally stable and in a good place to live together forever.
• All you need for True Love are these phrases:

"I love you so maaaaach."

"It/You is/are so be-you-tiful."

"Baby."  Alternate:  "Habibi." 

Boom!  You are officially in love!  No other knowledge of your partner is necessary.

I think the rule should be "Giving an engagement ring is like giving a sex toy.  It should never be too small or used."  

Speaking of engagement rings, maybe Ben should take the fact that his ring didn't come close to fitting on Bikini's fat finger, as a sign from Heaven that he shouldn't marry her.  

[b2H]

3 hours ago, Persnickety1 said:

I'm wondering if he got any shots to protect against the creeping crud living inside Evelin's lady parts.  😄 

That's what the shots were for, weren't they????

[nutella fitzgerald]

Did we ever get an explanation as to why Akinyi selected funeral offerings when she and Ben were buying the items to give her parents? She must have known whatever money he spent on the groceries would be coming out of the total funds available for the bride price, so why waste Ben’s few remaining pennies on cooking oil for mourners?

I don’t have much of an eye for jewelry - can any of you experts say whether or not the ill-fitting ring Ben gave Akinyi would be worth enough money to include in his negotiations? I have to think that when you’re coming to the table with $770, even Caesar’s $199 ring (that’s probably covered in crumbs of candy underwear) would make a difference in the grand total.

[Baltimore Betty]

13 minutes ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

Did we ever get an explanation as to why Akinyi selected funeral offerings when she and Ben were buying the items to give her parents? She must have known whatever money he spent on the groceries would be coming out of the total funds available for the bride price, so why waste Ben’s few remaining pennies on cooking oil for mourners?

I don’t have much of an eye for jewelry - can any of you experts say whether or not the ill-fitting ring Ben gave Akinyi would be worth enough money to include in his negotiations? I have to think that when you’re coming to the table with $770, even Caesar’s $199 ring (that’s probably covered in crumbs of candy underwear) would make a difference in the grand total.

I can say with conviction that ring he bestowed upon Bikini is a fraud, a fake, fooling no one...just like the girl who is wearing it.

It may even be the same fake ring he gave the first Mrs. Ben, you know like Tim gave Jeniffer. 

[Baltimore Betty]

2 hours ago, liammaam said:

Boom!  You are officially in love!  No other knowledge of your partner is necessary.

No one ever has a real conversation about expectations, abilities, finances,what day to day life will be like, living situations, the Visa process...instead they spend a lot of time hiding secrets and fighting.

[Boston]

3 hours ago, BallisticNikki said:

I really can't see inmates being able to relate to him at all. I do think he's prbly a nice guy, tho. I don't understand why his friends/family/church family don't steer him back to dating locally. He's the last person who ought to be embarking on this K1 journey.

he would be the first one killed.. let's be honest

[Kareem]

1 hour ago, b2H said:

That's what the shots were for, weren't they????

Hahaha!  Yes. Malaria, Meningococcal disease and Mattresses.  

[Bryce Lynch]

1 hour ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I can say with conviction that ring he bestowed upon Bikini is a fraud, a fake, fooling no one...just like the girl who is wearing it.

It may even be the same fake ring he gave the first Mrs. Ben, you know like Tim gave Jeniffer. 

It would be hard to imagine Ben could afford a real diamond that large.  But, it is not inconceivable that he:

1) Overspent on the ring and didn't think about the bride price, legal fees etc.  

2) Got a low quality diamond.   A diamond that size with poor cut, clarity and color might go for under $2,000.  

I doubt it belonged to Mrs. Ben #1.  She seems like the type that would keep the ring and sell it.   

Is Teem's ring fake?  As small as it is, I assumed it is a genuine diamond.  It doesn't make sense to go small and fake.  A big fake diamond isn't much more than a small fake diamond.  

1 hour ago, Baltimore Betty said:

No one ever has a real conversation about expectations, abilities, finances,what day to day life will be like, living situations, the Visa process...instead they spend a lot of time hiding secrets and fighting.

Of course, it is possible that some couples have those types of discussions, but we never see them because they are boring.  

[cinsays]

12 minutes ago, Bryce Lynch said:

I doubt it belonged to Mrs. Ben #1.  She seems like the type that would keep the ring and sell it.   

I must have missed where they showed/discussed Ben's first wife. What episode was that in?

[magemaud]

6 hours ago, BallisticNikki said:

I don't understand why his friends/family/church family don't steer him back to dating locally.

But he was stood up at the local Cracker Barrel! 

8 hours ago, RealReality said:

Darcy's international doo-dad collection from men trying to avoid commitment with her.  

Up next on QVC, Desperate Darcey's Doo-dads! 

[LillysPad]

I still think Akini, is messing with Ben.  You live there, you want to get married, but you don't tell your man in advance what steps he needs to take (she sends him out there blind) and you have him purchase food you KNOW is for mourning!  Come on. 

[MagicCat]

I can almost see how some women could find Zied charming.  He seems to see everything with a childlike sense of wonder.  He is young for his years.  Like Jihoon from the Other Way without all the larceny.  Some women like that.  Not me of course, but some women.  I had a guy tell me once, "I never grew up.  I'm just a big kid!"  like he was so proud of it. I ran for the hills.  If I want a kid, I will tote it, not marry it.

[PityFree]

54 minutes ago, MagicCat said:

I can almost see how some women could find Zied charming.  He seems to see everything with a childlike sense of wonder.  He is young for his years.  Like Jihoon from the Other Way without all the larceny.  Some women like that.  Not me of course, but some women.  I had a guy tell me once, "I never grew up.  I'm just a big kid!"  like he was so proud of it. I ran for the hills.  If I want a kid, I will tote it, not marry it.

 Unlike Jihoon, I am pretty certain that Zied does not have a clean anal under his sweat pants.

Edited October 17, 2019 by PityFree

[MagicCat]

6 hours ago, PityFree said:

 Unlike Jihoon, I am pretty certain that Zied does not have a clean anal under his sweat pants.

But It’s soooo beautifulllll.  Sooooo.   Beautifuulllll.

[blubld43]

On 10/15/2019 at 11:29 AM, Cherrio said:

I don't think Ben has behaved well at all. He has no money, his own place to live and a young child, yet he travels on a expensive trip to meet a girl who as it turns out he knows very little about.

He has no backbone and is just going along with whatever Akinyi and her family dish out. Weak, very weak.

If his son is most important in his life as he claims, he would of stayed home and grown the F up.

He wants (imo) some religious Stepford wife who OBEYS him.   

Totally agree. I see Akinyi arriving in the U.S., excited and eager to explore, as anyone would be. Then there's Ben, earnestly explaining that they can't afford anything, "disappointed" every time she makes a mistake, suggesting that church and prayer are the answer to any problems.

I don't believe a new pastor makes much money, I've known some to work regular jobs outside their pastoral duties. Akinyi has NO idea how hard life in the U S will be without sufficient income, sending money back to her family will not happen unless SHE is working.

[Thisgirllovespasta]

18 hours ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

I don’t have much of an eye for jewelry - can any of you experts say whether or not the ill-fitting ring Ben gave Akinyi would be worth enough money to include in his negotiations? I have to think that when you’re coming to the table with $770, even Caesar’s $199 ring (that’s probably covered in crumbs of candy underwear) would make a difference in the grand total.

Anyone think that diamond is real???

Maybe I have watched one too many seasons of the bachelor.... But that ring had ZERO sparkle. I know it is what he can afford but you can get some really good rings out there. 

and speaking of rings... The one Tim had was really small!! For someone who is into accessories, you would think it would be blinged out like his guns. It was very modest.

Edited October 17, 2019 by Thisgirllovespasta
spelling

[Bryce Lynch]

32 minutes ago, blubld43 said:

Totally agree. I see Akinyi arriving in the U.S., excited and eager to explore, as anyone would be. Then there's Ben, earnestly explaining that they can't afford anything, "disappointed" every time she makes a mistake, suggesting that church and prayer are the answer to any problems.

I don't believe a new pastor makes much money, I've known some to work regular jobs outside their pastoral duties. Akinyi has NO idea how hard life in the U S will be without sufficient income, sending money back to her family will not happen unless SHE is working.

I think Ben's heart is in the right place, but he is not using his head.  It just isn't practical for him to travel across the world and spend many thousands pay her pimp father the bride price and for all the K-1 legal fees.   I don't think being impractical makes him a bad guy, but it is probably going to cause him a lot of stress and heartache and could negatively affect Grayson as well.  That said, most of his paycheck is probably going to Grayson's Mom so the impact of his bad financial decisions would be minimized.

A new pastor generally won't make much.  It is possible he might get housing in a parsonage, which would save a lot of money on rent, though.  

While Akinyi's life would not be as luxurious and exciting as she probably expects, she would be a lot better off in terms of material possessions and living conditions than she is in Kenya.  Poor or struggling in the US is a much higher standard of living than Akinyi's family and most Kenyans have.   The potential problem I see is her being unhappy in the marriage, not with the living conditions.  

6 minutes ago, Thisgirllovespasta said:

Anyone think that diamond is real???

Maybe I have watched one to many seasons of the bachelor.... But that ring had ZERO sparkle. I know it is what he can afford but you can get some really good rings out there. 

and speaking of rings... The one Tim had was really small!! For someone who is into accessories, you would think it would be blinged out like his guns. It was very modest.

I think the lack of sparkle might suggest it is genuine but low quality.  Fake diamonds seem to have a lot of fake sparkle to them.  

[RealReality]

15 minutes ago, Bryce Lynch said:

I think Ben's heart is in the right place, but he is not using his head.  It just isn't practical for him to travel across the world and spend many thousands pay her pimp father the bride price and for all the K-1 legal fees.   I don't think being impractical makes him a bad guy, but it is probably going to cause him a lot of stress and heartache and could negatively affect Grayson as well.  That said, most of his paycheck is probably going to Grayson's Mom so the impact of his bad financial decisions would be minimized.

A new pastor generally won't make much.  It is possible he might get housing in a parsonage, which would save a lot of money on rent, though.  

While Akinyi's life would not be as luxurious and exciting as she probably expects, she would be a lot better off in terms of material possessions and living conditions than she is in Kenya.  Poor or struggling in the US is a much higher standard of living than Akinyi's family and most Kenyans have.   The potential problem I see is her being unhappy in the marriage, not with the living conditions.  

I think the lack of sparkle might suggest it is genuine but low quality.  Fake diamonds seem to have a lot of fake sparkle to them.  

I think that akyini has been raised on a steady diet of American tv and movies that present our country generally in a good light.  I think she and jihoon are watching the same movies.  

So, I agree that akyini is likely to be disappointed in the marriage and in her living arrangements, but it'll still be better than what she is used to. 

But, I also think she is the type of person who is just going to do what she wants once she gets here.  

A 3 second Google search tells me that pastors make about $50k a year (even in Ohio) and that's not a terrible income, but it's not amazing either.  

I agree with your analysis of ben.  He is a dork and a bit of a fuddy duddy, but I don't think he is a bad guy and thus far he has rolled with the punches and the near constant stream of misinformation, half truths and delayed intelligence from akyini.  

I don't think he has been unclear about who he is and what his expectations are.  But he should take akyinis reluctance about Grayson to heart.  Hoping it'll all just "work out" is not a good plan. 

I suspect that in akyinis culture a man may be able to ignore a child from a prior relationship.....leida seemed to expect the same thing from Eric.

[blubld43]

2 hours ago, RealReality said:

A 3 second Google search tells me that pastors make about $50k a year (even in Ohio) and that's not a terrible income, but it's not amazing either.  

Honestly I'd be shocked if a beginner pastor makes anything close to 50k. Maybe a leading pastor at a big church.

I don't think he's a bad guy, per se, but as we've all said, he just isn't in any position to bring a bride to the U.S.  I can't stand these types of dweeby guys and I'm betting the lustre will wear off quickly for Akinyi.

[mamadrama]

4 minutes ago, blubld43 said:

Honestly I'd be shocked if a beginner pastor makes anything close to 50k. Maybe a leading pastor at a big church.

I don't think he's a bad guy, per se, but as we've all said, he just isn't in any position to bring a bride to the U.S.  I can't stand these types of dweeby guys and I'm betting the lustre will wear off quickly for Akinyi.

The pastor at our church earns $35,000 (and housing) and has been there for 16 years. Denomination, member size, experience, town, etc are all factors.

[RoxiP]

17 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

The pastor at our church earns $35,000 (and housing) and has been there for 16 years. Denomination, member size, experience, town, etc are all factors.

Our pastor earns significantly more but that's because he has many years of experience and a huge reputation in our area.  I've been on committees that hired worship pastors and youth pastors and the pay there ranges between $40,000 and $65,000 - but again, that is with experience.

Also know that ordained ministers do not pay income taxes and in many cases receive part of their salary as housing if the church owns a parsonage, so something like $35,000 can go further than it would appear.  But that's the lucky ones.

[mamadrama]

31 minutes ago, RoxiP said:

Our pastor earns significantly more but that's because he has many years of experience and a huge reputation in our area.  I've been on committees that hired worship pastors and youth pastors and the pay there ranges between $40,000 and $65,000 - but again, that is with experience.

Also know that ordained ministers do not pay income taxes and in many cases receive part of their salary as housing if the church owns a parsonage, so something like $35,000 can go further than it would appear.  But that's the lucky ones.

Yes, I am aware of these things. That's why I said housing was included...

There is no set salaries for pastors across the board. They vary wildly.

[Pepper Mostly]

On 10/16/2019 at 11:51 AM, not you again said:

Re Ben's prospects:  I can see Prison Ministry.  Maybe Homeless Ministry.  NO way he's going to keep the attention/fascination of mainstream adults or youth/children.

Inmates would see naive, shy, socially awkward Ben coming from a mile away. They'd put him through the wringer and he'd flee sobbing. He seems to possess none of the skills a successful minister would need. He does not have a warm and confident demeanor. He does not demonstrate leadership ability in any way. He does not come across as especially good or kind or Christ-like (think Jimmy Carter, for example). He's just a loser who likes to sing hymns.

13 hours ago, PityFree said:

 Unlike Jihoon, I am pretty certain that Zied does not have a clean anal under his sweat pants.

Dead.

[Mrs. Hanson]

37 minutes ago, RoxiP said:

Also know that ordained ministers do not pay income taxes

For real???  Dang!!  A $50,000 salary and no income tax to pay?  Get me to divinity school.....now!

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 hour ago, RoxiP said:

Also know that ordained ministers do not pay income taxes

I don't think that's true.  Any part of the compensation that is specified as a housing allowance in advance of being paid is exempt, but not the rest.

Here's a plain language description of the tax advantages ministers may have:

https://pocketsense.com/tax-breaks-ordained-ministers-12047077.html

And here's the IRS version:

https://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc417

[Cammi]

Everybody complaining about the bride price: I don't think that alien head, piddly, childish girl is worth $20, let alone $800.00. And I call total bullshit on her saying the normal bride price is $3000.00. Not US money! That town is basically rubble and they carrying water back to the house. Ain't no young men in that town got a pot to piss in yet alone $3000.00! My fat foot! Maybe $3000 in whatever currency they have, but not US dollar. And not for some uneducated, sub par looking (yeah I went there) 26 year old with the personality of card board. At least in that area I think she is suited for her intended. 

[RoxiP]

1 hour ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

For real???  Dang!!  A $50,000 salary and no income tax to pay?  Get me to divinity school.....now!

You are right, I misspoke.  I believe it is Social Security they do not pay (or at least the ones that I have been a part of hiring do not pay).

[RealReality]

I only used Google as my guide, but find this information on pastor pay interesting.  The whole thing is kind of a gray area, as in to how they get the pay, who determines the amount, etc, etc.  

Is it the motherchurch?  i assume thats how it is for priests and nuns.  

35k + housing that saves $1200+ a month isnt a bad deal.  

ben is a dork, but has been able to roll with the punches -- so this might make him malleable enough for prison ministry.  

when i attended church we had a lot of priests that were just hard to understand because i couldnt understand the accent.  for me, i would have been happy with anyone who spoke clearly. 

however id admit that catholicism gets fewer candidates for priesthood from well developed countries.

[blubld43]

2 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Inmates would see naive, shy, socially awkward Ben coming from a mile away. They'd put him through the wringer and he'd flee sobbing. He seems to possess none of the skills a successful minister would need. He does not have a warm and confident demeanor. He does not demonstrate leadership ability in any way. He does not come across as especially good or kind or Christ-like (think Jimmy Carter, for example). He's just a loser who likes to sing hymns.

Dead.

You said it far better than I could have put into words! I recently changed churches for pretty much this exact reason: a dynamic priest with enough charisma to get the congregation excited about his community service programs. The mark of leadership for good, common purpose.

Maybe Ben would be a different person in his element, who knows. His girlish giggle really put me off right at the beginning.

[Pepper Mostly]

Yes, exactly. I am not a church goer but as a young teen I had lots of interactions with the local men of the cloth because we ran a student newspaper and would prevail upon the kindness of the local churches to lend us their mimeograph machines. They were all different but had something to attract--warm and fatherly, or young and progressive, or dynamic and confident. What's Ben got? He doesn't even have a good singing voice!

[DiamondGirl]

On 10/16/2019 at 2:08 PM, nutella fitzgerald said:

Did we ever get an explanation as to why Akinyi selected funeral offerings when she and Ben were buying the items to give her parents? She must have known whatever money he spent on the groceries would be coming out of the total funds available for the bride price, so why waste Ben’s few remaining pennies on cooking oil for mourners?

For his funeral when Family Akinyi finds out what his max is on the bride price?

[OrchidThief]

11 hours ago, Thisgirllovespasta said:

and speaking of rings... The one Tim had was really small!!

So I got engaged to some idiot who was showing the teeny tiny ring he got me, AT HOLLYWOOD PARTIES (and he's a multimillionaire, I'm not at all) as special because he had to get one so small to suit my small hands lololololol. It was a real diamond, but the lowest-grade one available a "blue diamond" that glows under black light and is generally undesirable. I liked it, but his excuses in front of quite wealthy celebreties (of which he is *almost* one) were hilarious. Obviously we did not get married and I gave him his treasured ring back. Wonder what he did with it. That said, the options for buying fake or cheap rings are limitless.

[Meowwww]

N/M lol

Edited October 18, 2019 by Meowwww

[magemaud]

On 10/16/2019 at 12:38 PM, Bryce Lynch said:

Maybe Music Ministry is Ben's path! 

Singing about "The Blood of Christ"

[Mrs. Hanson]

6 hours ago, blubld43 said:

You said it far better than I could have put into words! I recently changed churches for pretty much this exact reason: a dynamic priest with enough charisma to get the congregation excited about his community service programs. The mark of leadership for good, common purpose.

This is very true, in my opinion.  Ben has no charisma to lead a service.  Is he devout and intentional?  100%.  He is just kinda blah.  Okay very blah.

My engagement ring belonged to another woman - my hubby's great grandmother.  It is an opal ring that kinda glows and I love it beyond measure.  It had to be repaired as prongs were bent and I cried!!!!  (I am better now btw.)

Full on disclosure:  He had, waaaay in the past, purchased two different rings for two different woman.  Did not work out - he returned them LIKE MOST NORMAL MEN WOULD DO.  

Edited October 18, 2019 by Mrs. Hanson

[Honey]

 There is nothing wrong with Tim.  All he's doing is ensuring an invite back for the next season.  "Will he, or won't he?" It's the ultimate question.  For all we know they've already had sex, and they're lying to us.  How would we know?  It's one of the few places the cameras aren't allowed.

[PityFree]

10 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

For real???  Dang!!  A $50,000 salary and no income tax to pay?  Get me to divinity school.....now!

 But that also means they’re not paying into Social Security so they will not have that when they are older.

Ben is a hairy, judgmental, struggling, wanna be pastor who trolls the Internet for women (read: cook/maid/sex partner/day care provider) and puts his 5 y.o. on a trashy reality show. He sucks. 

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, Honey said:

 There is nothing wrong with Tim.  All he's doing is ensuring an invite back for the next season.  "Will he, or won't he?" It's the ultimate question.  For all we know they've already had sex, and they're lying to us.  How would we know?  It's one of the few places the cameras aren't allowed.

LOL, jokes on him.  I barely care as it is, so I'd be super disinterested in his sex life next season or any other season.  

Actual dandies are far more interesting than him and his bedazzled jeans, Ed hardy'esque tops and glossy nails.  

[Chalby]

On 10/14/2019 at 6:10 AM, Lesia said:

Re: Tim- if he wanted to have sex, he would've had sex.  Period.  No guy who is craving you is going to fall asleep.  

I have a feeling this is a "theme" for Tim. If he has a low need for, or interest in, sexual activity then he needs to be up front about it. There is no shame or disgrace in not wanting sex as much as another person. Thanks to the internet, I believe there are several mate options for each of us, and if Tim posted that he could take or leave sex, then he would have been matched with a more appropriate date. It drives me nuts that he expects some gorgeous Latina bombshell, when he has NOTHING to offer in return. What does she get for dating him? Oh rate, a sexually ambiguous date who may or may not be into her. A date who appears afraid of everything, and would definitely fold if ever in a position where he would need to protect her. We need one of those old-fashioned stage hooks to yank him off the show. "Next?"

[Chalby]

On 10/16/2019 at 9:20 AM, invisiblegirl12 said:

So perfect. So beautiful.

LOL, and all while saying this, his eyes are darting about as if his looking for the next best thing... It's one of those pat phrases he knows will shut her up, or perhaps make him appear as though he's remotely interested in what she's saying. He's probably a nice, harmless guy, but man, he is very out of shape for someone his age. (Not that she should deserve a chiseled young lad.)

[Chalby]

52 minutes ago, PityFree said:

Ben is a hairy, judgmental, struggling, wanna be pastor who trolls the Internet for women (read: cook/maid/sex partner/day care provider) and puts his 5 y.o. on a trashy reality show. He sucks. 

I agree and disagree with your observations. You and I think the same as I too, am questioning why he needs to find love via internet across the world. Something does not sit well with me re: Ben because of his judgemental tone re: her drinking. As well, his demand that she be a step 'mother' to his son. The boy HAS a mother, and Akini has the right idea when she states she rather be as a friend. Why set her up for failure? She has no idea about parenting, and why should she. She's young and outgoing. I feel like he wants to keep her housebound. I don't feel good about this one. I understand that all of his scenes are probably doctored for lack of excitement, but still, something is wrong...

[Chalby]

On 10/15/2019 at 6:46 AM, RealReality said:

BUT, Ben is probably going to face the same problem Melanie and Chantal faced.  Akyini's family seems like they will be on a lifetime mission for gifts and prizes from their rich American daughter and son in law.  If akyini works she will be sending them money no matter how impoverished she and Ben are 

Good point. BUT Is anyone else fed up with watching ONLY broke-ass people seeking love in another country? Is that why they do this? They know no one from the States is going to marry them (along with their financial issues). Do they use their American status to troll for mates overseas? Yep, I have NOTHING, but if you enter into this debt with me, you can get a green card and hopefully work and support me. They all seem to pretend to have $$, but we soon learn they have NOTHING. I certainly hope none of them are accepting financial aid, while attempt to bring a mate into the country.