S09.E13: She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

[humbleopinion]

Greg is following the script of the legendary Ricky Bobby.. uncertain of their wife's feelings throughout the experiment because they don't open up....

Same song, different verse....

Sir Gregory the Gallant and Princess Deonna... both say yes

Here's the twist...Deonna gets on bended knee and asks Greg to marry her..

We all jump off of our couches, outta our bed and run around our houses with arms up screaming YASSSSS

[Lindz]

17 hours ago, cinsays said:

I think he doesn't see a road to progression with her and is just politely biding his time to get on with his life with someone more compatible.  

Did they even start on that road? Take a step? I suspect he quit before even beginning. Where did he try ANYTHING? 😂

[sasha206]

3 hours ago, Soup333 said:

.

Amber is just...I hope she gets some help to deal with her issues. Really. I honestly feel as though she would accept Matt KNOWING he was cheating on her as long as she could still claim him as her husband. She's already said she's willing to do anything. When Raven told her she almost immediately said that she still wanted it to work. That made me cringe. After a two month marriage she's willing to accept him staying out all night and forgive adultery as well? Wow.

I know people hate Matt, but Amber came off as an annoying nut at first sight.  I honestly don't blame him for wanting to get the fuck away from her.  He tells her that he was going out with his buddies and then she apparently texts him and calls him 4 times before 10:30!  I would refuse to come home to that as well.  The fact is all of these marriages are sham marriages.  So someone realizing that day 1 it isn't working but is on a show that pays him to remain until the end, I don't blame him for wanting to be away from that annoying big ball of need.  He probably was hoping the "experts" would at least set him up with a non-dwarf who wasn't trying to bang him at the wedding table.  I couldn't last 5 minutes in the same room with her.  I'm sure for the sake of the show, he couldn't be completely honest with his lack of feelings for her but he sure did everything to telegraph his feelings towards her.  AND SHE STILL WANTS IT TO WORK!  There's no getting rid of this big ball of need.

I'm also amazed that someone would cry that hard over someone not responding to 4 calls and texts when he said he was out with friends.  They just fucking met!  

Edited September 6, 2019 by sasha206

[Drogo]

19 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

I nominate Raven for most empathetic friend.

Raven is actually Roma Downey in Touched By An Angel and he's just waiting for the right post-Matt time to convert Amber. 

[humbleopinion]

Sticks and Puddle of Tears... both say yes.

He gets a wife that lets him be a horndog until 230am each night, if he texts in a couple of times during his evening with the ladies...

Teacher gets her man.....who rolls in at 231am and into her arms....

Match made in heaven...oh brother.......

[Empress1]

11 hours ago, Desert Rat said:

That being said, I do not think Amber and Matt should be married. Matt is not committed to the marriage. It takes two. Also, Amber does not love Matt in any sense of the word.  She loves the idea of Matt, not the man. She wants a marriage for the sake of being married but has no clue as to what a successful marriage looks like.  I think her mother abandoning her left her very damaged.  

I agree. She doesn't love Matt for who he is. She doesn't even know him - remember, she hasn't even SEEN a member of his family, and she hasn't seen his friends since the wedding. She loves the idea of being married and doesn't want to be left, and I'd bet that's been true for all her relationships. It's not the person himself, it's the fact that she doesn't want to be alone.

Matt is clearly not ready to be married - but neither is Amber. Neediness and clinginess are really unattractive qualities.

1 hour ago, sasha206 said:

i have a feeling Iris thinks being a virgin means she is wanted and adored by all males that want to deflower her so she talks about it continually and is surprised that Keith would view this as an obstacle.

The fact Keith thinks it is an obstacle and isn't sure he should be the one to deflower her just shows you that he's not into her.  If he even thought he was her forever man, he would not have any concerns about taking her virginity.  But he clearly isn't that into her and therefore he doesn't want the guilt of being that guy that fucks her and leaves.

Even if he were into her (and I agree, he isn't), in Keith's shoes I would not consider having sex with Iris on the show. It's just too messy. Do it when the cameras are off and nobody is paying attention to them anymore - if she can wait 27 years, she can wait a few months (and she doesn't seem pressed to HAVE sex, she just wants to know if them NOT having sex is an issue for him). If he has sex with her publicly and it doesn't work out, he looks awful. I think he's smart enough to recognize this. He's in a shitty position.

[DrewPaul2010]

1 hour ago, sasha206 said:

I know people hate Matt, but Amber came off as an annoying nut at first sight.  I honestly don't blame him for wanting to get the fuck away from her.  He tells her that he was going out with his buddies and then she apparently texts him and calls him 4 times before 10:30!  I would refuse to come home to that as well.  The fact is all of these marriages are sham marriages.  So someone realizing that day 1 it isn't working but is on a show that pays him to remain until the end, I don't blame him for wanting to be away from that annoying big ball of need.  He probably was hoping the "experts" would at least set him up with a non-dwarf who wasn't trying to bang him at the wedding table.  I couldn't last 5 minutes in the same room with her.  I'm sure for the sake of the show, he couldn't be completely honest with his lack of feelings for her but he sure did everything to telegraph his feelings towards her.  AND SHE STILL WANTS IT TO WORK!  There's no getting rid of this big ball of need.

I'm also amazed that someone would cry that hard over someone not responding to 4 calls and texts when he said he was out with friends.  They just fucking met!  

This particular episode was so boring I missed the part where Matt is accused of being with someone. I did notice one thing, when he went to meet his friend the first thing he said is its been a long time. Wasn't he supposed to be one of the friends he was hanging out with?

Taking Amber's side, her rationale in being married at first sight was the thought like me this is a person who wants the security of a relationship. The last thing she thought is I wonder if they are going to match me up, have me actually marry a soulless, self-centered creep who has no compassion or empathy? But they did! We see a really bad side of Amber because of the person she was matched with. If she were matched up with a guy like Bobby from a few seasons ago she'd be in 7th heaven and so would he.

[DrewPaul2010]

49 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Even if he were into her (and I agree, he isn't), in Keith's shoes I would not consider having sex with Iris on the show. It's just too messy. Do it when the cameras are off and nobody is paying attention to them anymore - if she can wait 27 years, she can wait a few months (and she doesn't seem pressed to HAVE sex, she just wants to know if them NOT having sex is an issue for him). If he has sex with her publicly and it doesn't work out, he looks awful. I think he's smart enough to recognize this. He's in a shitty position.

Do we really know he hasn't had intercourse with her? If they haven't she should be more worried about that than he is. It doesn't appear she kept her virginity for her husband. Isn't that the reason most virgins give? So what is she preserving it for?

[sasha206]

34 minutes ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

This particular episode was so boring I missed the part where Matt is accused of being with someone. I did notice one thing, when he went to meet his friend the first thing he said is its been a long time. Wasn't he supposed to be one of the friends he was hanging out with?

Taking Amber's side, her rationale in being married at first sight was the thought like me this is a person who wants the security of a relationship. The last thing she thought is I wonder if they are going to match me up, have me actually marry a soulless, self-centered creep who has no compassion or empathy? But they did! We see a really bad side of Amber because of the person she was matched with. If she were matched up with a guy like Bobby from a few seasons ago she'd be in 7th heaven and so would he.

Personally, I think anyone that marries at first sight, depends on "experts" on a reality show NOT to fix them up for dramatic purposes, for the security of a relationship has got problems bigger than this show.  Hopefully, like I suspect all of them are, they are just chasing reality fame and maybe hoping that they become the Jamie O of this franchise.  No matter how much I like some of the couples, it's just a bizarre premise so in my mind, you get what you get.  And most of them, even if they are wildly attracted to each other, seem to be somewhat more reserved than Amber who was like a gnat at first sight.

Don't get me wrong -- Matt is a jerk.  But in my mind, she's got some mental issues likely from her jerk of a mom that she needs to deal with before latching onto some MAFS guy.  To me, she is the one that came off the most child-like and not in a good way.  It's so hard for me to imagine her being a teacher because she seems to be in suspended adolescence.

Edited September 6, 2019 by sasha206

[Lily247]

2 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

Don't get me wrong -- Matt is a jerk.  But in my mind, she's got some mental issues likely from her jerk of a mom that she needs to deal with before latching onto some MAFS guy.

I wouldnt take all that she says about her mom FWIW. For all we know, Ambers mom could have disappeared for a few weeks, days, months, years, I dont think she ever mentioned how long. Its a very millenial thing to blame your parents for all the issues one may have. 

[sasha206]

5 minutes ago, Lily247 said:

I wouldnt take all that she says about her mom FWIW. For all we know, Ambers mom could have disappeared for a few weeks, days, months, years, I dont think she ever mentioned how long. Its a very millenial thing to blame your parents for all the issues one may have. 

Ha, that is a good point!

I was just hoping that there was *some* reason like her mom's leaving her that would explain the incredible amount of tears that she was shedding that resulted in multiple texts and four phone calls at 10:30 at night when her new husband said he was going to be out with friends.   I mean, my God, even if I knew my husband for several years and were just married, if he went out with the boys and I called multiple times before 10:30, I would expect him to be irritated.  Of course, Matt should have texted her and not stayed out all night, but if this was someone I was matched up with who already showed me that I cannot be out with my friends without multiple texts and calls, I probably wouldn't want to come home to that needy stranger either.

Edited September 6, 2019 by sasha206

[Stinamaia]

26 minutes ago, Lily247 said:

I wouldnt take all that she says about her mom FWIW. For all we know, Ambers mom could have disappeared for a few weeks, days, months, years, I dont think she ever mentioned how long. Its a very millenial thing to blame your parents for all the issues one may have. 

People have blamed their parents seemingly since the beginning of human history and is memorably referenced in the Old Testament.

It seems Amber’s mother left the family and established another relationship in a different state far away.  Amber obviously needs help to resolve the issue.  It’s not necessarily blaming, but recognizing the source of an issue. 

[Brooklynista]

1 hour ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

This particular episode was so boring I missed the part where Matt is accused of being with someone. I did notice one thing, when he went to meet his friend the first thing he said is its been a long time. Wasn't he supposed to be one of the friends he was hanging out with?

Taking Amber's side, her rationale in being married at first sight was the thought like me this is a person who wants the security of a relationship. The last thing she thought is I wonder if they are going to match me up, have me actually marry a soulless, self-centered creep who has no compassion or empathy? But they did! We see a really bad side of Amber because of the person she was matched with. If she were matched up with a guy like Bobby from a few seasons ago she'd be in 7th heaven and so would he.

Matt's buddy was totally giving Matt an alibi for why he was shitty to Amber.  "OH YEAH, LIKE WHEN YOU WOULD FORGET TO TEXT AMBER!" 🙄 Boy Bye.

It was a good attempt at a save, but no.  Matt was not sharing a basket of wings with any of the fellas, so wrapped up in the game that he forgot to text his wife and they both know it. 

[sasha206]

2 minutes ago, Stinamaia said:

People have blamed their parents seemingly since the beginning of human history and is memorably referenced in the Old Testament.

It seems Amber’s mother left the family and established another relationship in a different state far away.  Amber obviously needs help to resolve the issue.  It’s not necessarily blaming, but recognizing the source of an issue. 

It would certainly explain her need to attach to Matt no matter what.  The "experts" should never allow someone with abandonment issues on this show.

I wonder how large a pool of contestants there are for this show and how measly the reasons are for the set ups.  I mean, all we hears (from what I recall) on the reasons for Amber and Matt was their love of basketball?  Really?  Makes me think the pool of idiots is a lot smaller than you'd think.

[ShowFan]

On 9/5/2019 at 12:46 AM, Kcard said:

Can someone please tell me why Amber doesn’t hook up with her bestie, Raven?

Do we know for a fact that he is straight and single? He is nice looking and very kind. It would be just too good to be true 

[Ilovepie]

14 hours ago, Desert Rat said:

From personal experience, I think PC's advice was spot on. I've been married over 30 years. We are best friends and I think we have a great marriage. Are we happy? Yes, a lot. Have we been miserable in our marriage? Yes also.  at times very unhappy. There have been times when I thought marrying my husband was the worst decision of my life.  There are times I thought it was the best. Those are all emotions.  I have a good, long marriage of trust and love because I fought through the negative emotions and made the conscious decision to stay committed to my husband and our marriage even when I couldn't stand him. I knew that my marriage was more important than my temporary emotions. PC has said love is not an emotion, it is a decision. He is right. If your marriage is based on the emotion of love, it will fail because the emotion cannot be sustained over years and decades, over the stresses of life. However, you can have a long meaningful relationship, if you make the decision each day to love your partner through it all.   

Thank you for this - I think you explained what PC was trying to get at but just not very well, and I agree with it all. My spouse and I have been married 21 years. We are raising a special needs kid. It's not all rainbows and sunshine and sometimes we don't get along at all, but I would rather work through the bad because it's worth it in the long run. I once heard a therapist say "In marriage you have to remember there are good times, but they don't last, and there a bad times, and they don't last either." Also, my favorite line from the Lucille Ball/Henry Fonda movie "Yours, Mine and Ours": "It's not going to bed with a man that proves you're in love with him; it's getting up in the morning and facing the drab, miserable, wonderful everyday world with him that counts." 

Matt's problem is that although he says he hasn't considered whether or not he's happy, his actions say in truth that is ALL he's thought about: What Matt wants. He never considers how his actions are affecting Amber, his spouse. Someone so selfish should not be married to anyone.

[Brooklynista]

14 minutes ago, ShowFan said:

Do we know for a fact that he is straight and single? He is nice looking and very kind. It would be just too good to be true 

Raven has certainly been privy to Amber's Klingon style of being in a relationship and who would knowingly want to be a part of that?

[sasha206]

20 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

Matt's problem is that although he says he hasn't considered whether or not he's happy, his actions say in truth that is ALL he's thought about: What Matt wants. He never considers how his actions are affecting Amber, his spouse. Someone so selfish should not be married to anyone.

I guess in my mind, if you are marrying a complete stranger and determining whether you want to stay married to that person, your happiness is exactly what you should be considering.  If he, on night one, realizes this chick is not someone he can be happy with, that's perfectly okay.  Just like it's perfectly okay for Deonna to not know whether she feels love or not after 8 weeks.  These aren't people that have met in a conventional way and got married after falling in love.  This show isn't tracking people already in love that feel strongly in the relationship.  So it's time to be selfish.

Pretending he's still wavering or has any interest in her is the worst of his crimes in my opinion.  But I'm guessing it wouldn't make for good TV to declare it over night 1.  And clearly, he should not have been out all night and cheating on her already but since this isn't the conventional marriage by any stretch, to me those transgressions aren't that egregious if you just met this person and know this is not the person you are going to be with.

Edited September 6, 2019 by sasha206

[pdlinda]

23 hours ago, Lindz said:

not affectionate, not romantic, doesn't cuddle, doesn't grow the relationship, doesn't connect emotionally, doesn't share his thoughts & feelings openly & clearly. Yup. TOTAL PACKAGE! 😉😂

As with Will last season (with Jasmine) maybe Keith is only an emotional cripple because Iris is mismatched as his mate!!

[princelina]

On 9/5/2019 at 1:48 PM, Kroliosis said:

Does anyone know if she can get an annulment since they never consummated the marriage?

Something tells me that Iris would prefer to tell everyone about why and how Iris is a divorced virgin 😄 

23 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Other than the shocking! ending with Amber (who am I kidding - they already showed it 10 million times this season), this episode was boring with a capital B. They are really stretching this nonsense out. They have completely ruined this show by giving people one "story line" instead of just showing them going about their life. It feels like every episode is the same: Matt is a douche, Iris is a virgin, Deonna is uptight, Jamie and Beth are a dumpster fire......it's just not that compelling.

Yes yes yes!  All they ever do is discuss their "feelings" in regard to their assigned storyline.  Along with whatever "assignment" the "experts" give for the weekly show topic.  They all supposedly have jobs - we have seen nothing relating to that except for Amber coming home from work one day to a Mattless abode.  Don't they talk about their days?  Stop for happy hour?  Several claimed to be very involved in their churches - where is any of that?  Or other hobbies and after-work activities?  How about socializing with friends - it's been 8 weeks and they've had one assigned party and now the "deep talks" of the penultimate episode and that's it?  Or after the couples retreat - I'm sure each couple discussed the others and I'd have been an interested viewer for that! If my married life was nothing but sitting around the house talking "feelings" I'd throw Mr. P out the window and jump out after him!!

23 hours ago, cinsays said:

Yeah, the whole thing about that being the do or die day is ridiculous.

I would not be surprised if they all said yes to staying together on that day, thinking they are sparing their partner's feelings being hurt on camera.

Or to see what they're like after filming - Greg seems happy enough and if I were him I would certainly wait to see if Deonna was more relaxed once the cameras were gone.  Unless you know for a fact you don't want to be with the person, why wouldn't you wait and see?

42 minutes ago, ShowFan said:

Do we know for a fact that he is straight and single? He is nice looking and very kind. It would be just too good to be true 

I guess we assume that since he auditioned and was almost chosen for MAFS - which may just make us idiots for assuming that 😄 

[Lindz]

3 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

Do we really know he hasn't had intercourse with her? If they haven't she should be more worried about that than he is. It doesn't appear she kept her virginity for her husband. Isn't that the reason most virgins give? So what is she preserving it for?

HAHAHAHA! If they did, she wouldn't still be asking, "Is my virginity an issue?" 😂😂 Come on! She did wait until marriage...to someone she actually knows & has a good relationship with! Not just a license & a ring. Makes sense.

Edited September 6, 2019 by Lindz

[Lindz]

36 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

As with Will last season (with Jasmine) maybe Keith is only an emotional cripple because Iris is mismatched as his mate!!

But they were matched for a reason (we hope it's not just ratings). The point is they should try. They can't be like, this isn't what I want after the 1st day. Like, NAH BRUH!! You're MARRIED, actually TRY!! DON'T just sit back & count down the days. That's BS!

[humbleopinion]

If you come to Amber's FriendZone...

Raven will politely escort you to your comfortable spot in her homeyzone...

Raven is knows that Teacher clings on to a man with the suction power of a Humboldt squid.....he likes being her friend.

Edited September 6, 2019 by humbleopinion

[Soup333]

2 hours ago, Stinamaia said:

People have blamed their parents seemingly since the beginning of human history and is memorably referenced in the Old Testament.

It seems Amber’s mother left the family and established another relationship in a different state far away.  Amber obviously needs help to resolve the issue.  It’s not necessarily blaming, but recognizing the source of an issue. 

She recognizes the issue, which is good but I truly wonder if she’s gotten help for it. Rather than acknowledging the damage that has been done and having some healthy way to deal, she comes off as, “I have abandonment issues, you can’t treat me that way. It makes me sad.” 

Matt is complete shit but he can’t be the cure for Amber’s issues. 

[Lindz]

2 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Matt's problem is that although he says he hasn't considered whether or not he's happy, his actions say in truth that is ALL he's thought about: What Matt wants. He never considers how his actions are affecting Amber, his spouse. Someone so selfish should not be married to anyone.

I can't believe everyone didn't choke on his BS!! How can he NOT be happy?? He does WHATEVER the hell he wants without ANY care & consideration for his wife. SELFISH BASTARD!! What? He doesn't know if he's happy during the 5 minutes he spends with her?? GTFOH!! NOBODY CARES what bs he has to say, he's TRASH!!

Edited September 6, 2019 by Lindz

[Lindz]

2 hours ago, Stinamaia said:

People have blamed their parents seemingly since the beginning of human history and is memorably referenced in the Old Testament.

It is THEIR fault!! Their actions affect & shape their children. Why bother raising them if you're not going to do it right & make their well-being TOP PRIORITY?? Makes no sense. So many people shouldn't be parents. 😂

[Rae Spellman]

2 hours ago, Stinamaia said:

It seems Amber’s mother left the family and established another relationship in a different state far away.  Amber obviously needs help to resolve the issue.  It’s not necessarily blaming, but recognizing the source of an issue. 

It would be interesting to know of the story about why Amber's mom left, how much contact they had after the mother started a new family, and what contact Amber has with the new family. On God Friended Me Cara's mother also left and had another child. It wasn't as simple as her mother abandoning her and starting over though.

1 hour ago, pdlinda said:

As with Will last season (with Jasmine) maybe Keith is only an emotional cripple because Iris is mismatched as his mate!!

Depending on what Will was hoping for, and the likeliness that such a woman would have applied for the show and been happy with him, he might have been checked out with plenty of other non-Jasmine women.  Keith probably will be more emotionally invested when he's a few years older and meets his "soulmate."

[Liberty]

1 hour ago, princelina said:

Something tells me that Iris would prefer to tell everyone about why and how Iris is a divorced virgin 😄 

100 X that

1 hour ago, princelina said:

Or after the couples retreat - I'm sure each couple discussed the others and I'd have been an interested viewer for that!

Too bad you are not producing this mess, this is a super idea.

[Rae Spellman]

6 hours ago, princelina said:

They all supposedly have jobs - we have seen nothing relating to that except for Amber coming home from work one day to a Mattless abode.

Something about this reminder that filming occurred during the school year and that Amber had daily reminders that she was being filmed and also that she was a teacher, changed my opinion about how bad her presentation is on this show.

Initially my thought was that I saw plenty of the teachers I worked do plenty of unsavory things after hours, so why does Amber have to be a good role model on some cable show that her students probably don't watch if she's good at her job in real life?

Then I remembered that something about the ritual of going to work every day during the week served to keep me mindful about my behavior after hours because I didn't want to get caught doing anything that would gain me notoriety as the local teacher caught doing something unfortunate. Why isn't/wasn't Amber horrified? Why didn't going to work regularly remind her that her behavior on camera could have consequences in her professional life? 

Edited September 7, 2019 by RaeSpellman

[kerrieway]

Here's the tea...Everyone keeps saying Raven is in the friendzone and I agree. Straight men and women can't be friends after puberty unless one or both parties are deeply unattracted to one another. Besides, men rarely befriend women on an individual basis if they dont find them physically attractive on some level to begin with. 

If Amber was the one attracted to Raven and he didnt feel the same she would be so unbearable he'd have to disappear, however they consider each other "best friends." I'm sorry what? "Best friends" not good friend or friends since kindergarten or pals...yeah he wants her.

Also as MAFsFan showed on Instagram, Raven was a MAFs finalist, he and a blond girl were almost the fourth couple. So we have a straight ready to be married man who found out his longtime crush and "best friend" would rather flip a coin and marry a stranger than be with him so he pretends not to care by following...erh I mean going with her to the MAFs interviews and trying out himself. All the while I suspect Raven was hoping either that Amber didnt get picked or that he could at least get a placeholder wife that would make him forget about his long unrequited love for Amber.

It would've been interesting if Raven had been picked instead of Amber or alongside her. I have a feeling that Raven's been single and pining for her for a long time and so Amber's never known what it's like not to be the center of his world. I think Amber's jealousy would have been ignited for the first time ever and she might have had to ask herself if she could care for Raven romantically or realized that she does like him. Oh let's not forget Raven's poor MAF wife who would've picked up on the true nature of his bestie relationship. This would've been better TV than Iris and Keith. 

Edited September 6, 2019 by kerrieway

[Mercolleen]

13 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

Recap of the preview for next week (I put the last bit in spoilers since it probably gives away one couples' decision):

You are the best! Matt is the worst!

[Ilovepie]

2 hours ago, sasha206 said:

Pretending he's still wavering or has any interest in her is the worst of his crimes in my opinion.  But I'm guessing it wouldn't make for good TV to declare it over night 1.  And clearly, he should not have been out all night and cheating on her already but since this isn't the conventional marriage by any stretch, to me those transgressions aren't that egregious if you just met this person and know this is not the person you are going to be with.

I would call this a pretty egregious crime considering the bullshit still flowing out of his lying mouth. At the very least, he should not have been having sex with this woman because that combined with saying all the right things on camera makes it look like he was just in this for the housing and the hookup while married to a woman who was all in from day one, and he knew it. I personally find his behavior appalling, and that's before this episode even happened.

[configdotsys]

17 hours ago, Desert Rat said:

From personal experience, I think PC's advice was spot on. I've been married over 30 years. We are best friends and I think we have a great marriage. Are we happy? Yes, a lot. Have we been miserable in our marriage? Yes also.  at times very unhappy. There have been times when I thought marrying my husband was the worst decision of my life.  There are times I thought it was the best. Those are all emotions.  I have a good, long marriage of trust and love because I fought through the negative emotions and made the conscious decision to stay committed to my husband and our marriage even when I couldn't stand him. I knew that my marriage was more important than my temporary emotions. PC has said love is not an emotion, it is a decision. He is right. If your marriage is based on the emotion of love, it will fail because the emotion cannot be sustained over years and decades, over the stresses of life. However, you can have a long meaningful relationship, if you make the decision each day to love your partner through it all.   

I don't understand how the information above applies to any of these couples. I was married for 25 years and it was wonderful and yes there were rough times, but none of the difficult times occurred in the early part of our marriage. I can understand not walking away and working through the hard times in a solid marriage that began on a foundation of love and contentment. These people have none of that. They've been married for 8 weeks and there's no true joy on the faces of these people. Amber is bawling crying all night long because Matt is out doing whatever. Iris is incapable of having an adult conversation. Elizabeth is a lunatic as is Jamie and in my opinion Deonna has been a total bitch to Greg and he is a jellyfish about it. If you have to decide whether or not to stay with someone that you can't stand half the time after only a few weeks, it's a whole different ballgame than a committed couple who toughs it out.

6 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Greg is following the script of the legendary Ricky Bobby.. uncertain of their wife's feelings throughout the experiment because they don't open up....

Same song, different verse....

Sir Gregory the Gallant and Princess Deonna... both say yes

Here's the twist...Deonna gets on bended knee and asks Greg to marry her..

We all jump off of our couches, outta our bed and run around our houses with arms up screaming YASSSSS

I won't be celebrating. I will be thinking that Greg is an idiot.

2 hours ago, ShowFan said:

Do we know for a fact that he is straight and single? He is nice looking and very kind. It would be just too good to be true 

He was a finalist on this show. So there's that.

What I really don't understand is why the interactions that all the couples have are taken at face value but when it comes to Greg and Deonna, many believe that they probably behave completely differently off camera.

[sasha206]

7 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

I would call this a pretty egregious crime considering the bullshit still flowing out of his lying mouth. At the very least, he should not have been having sex with this woman because that combined with saying all the right things on camera makes it look like he was just in this for the housing and the hookup while married to a woman who was all in from day one, and he knew it. I personally find his behavior appalling, and that's before this episode even happened.

Yes, very good points.

[Auntie]

19 hours ago, Suzy Rhapsody said:

I miss him!  I thought he was such a sweet, funny, intelligent guy (the onesie aside).  This season is just packed full of duds (looking at you, Mouth-breathing Matt).

Neal was a hoot! I thought he was wonderful. Too bad he got such a raw deal with getting Sam as his wife. She sure thought she was so much better than everyone else. I was so glad Neal shot her down on decision day.

[Mercolleen]

21 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

I would call this a pretty egregious crime considering the bullshit still flowing out of his lying mouth. At the very least, he should not have been having sex with this woman because that combined with saying all the right things on camera makes it look like he was just in this for the housing and the hookup while married to a woman who was all in from day one, and he knew it. I personally find his behavior appalling, and that's before this episode even happened.

I'm pretty sure Matt will say yes just so that he has a place to live. Joke will be on him when Sharp stops paying the rent.

[2727]

I don't necessarily think Greg and Deonna act differently off camera, but absolutely believe the producers would choose not to show them being more affectionate and open. Deonna's "walls" is the only bit of drama they have.

An ex of mine had an ongoing argument with his dad about some of his furniture and belongings he had stored in his parents' basement. He was angry that his dad was always on his case, wouldn't let it drop, etc. My suggestion was that he remove his damned stuff! Similarly, if Matt had had the decency to answer Amber's first text or call, she wouldn't have felt the need to keep trying.

[sometimesjennifer]

17 hours ago, Desert Rat said:

From personal experience, I think PC's advice was spot on. I've been married over 30 years. We are best friends and I think we have a great marriage. Are we happy? Yes, a lot. Have we been miserable in our marriage? Yes also.  at times very unhappy. There have been times when I thought marrying my husband was the worst decision of my life.  There are times I thought it was the best. Those are all emotions.  I have a good, long marriage of trust and love because I fought through the negative emotions and made the conscious decision to stay committed to my husband and our marriage even when I couldn't stand him. I knew that my marriage was more important than my temporary emotions. PC has said love is not an emotion, it is a decision. He is right. If your marriage is based on the emotion of love, it will fail because the emotion cannot be sustained over years and decades, over the stresses of life. However, you can have a long meaningful relationship, if you make the decision each day to love your partner through it all.   

I think my issue with what Pastor Cal was saying was more about his demeanor and his seeming disgust at the notion that happiness should even enter into the equation. He was acting like it's wrong to strive for happiness within a marriage when you should be focusing on the goal of never getting a divorce. That is lunacy to me. Just BEING married isn't enough. If one partner is actively, knowingly doing things that are hurtful to the other over and over, that person shouldn't just roll over and take it for the sake of the marriage. Everyone should be able to advocate for their own well being and yes, happiness. I am sure that during the dark times in your marriage, your goal was to come out the other side and find happiness again together. No marriage, no PERSON, is always happy. I absolutely believe that weathering the difficulties of life together helps create stronger bonds within a marriage. My objection is to Pastor Cal's attitude toward the idea that trying to be happy is a waste of time. I don't think it's preposterous to say that trying to be happy should be everyone's ultimate goal, married or not. If these people aren't happy together in these early, simple times, there's no way they will be able to be supportive and strong for each other when REAL life shit goes down. There has to be a baseline of happiness to strive for so that there's a light at the end of the tunnel during the darkness.

Or maybe I am just ridiculously lucky that I am happy to be with my husband of 20 years no matter what is going on in our lives. That was how I knew he was the guy for me - even when we argued or he annoyed me, I still wanted to be near him. I had never felt that way about anyone before. With previous boyfriends, I was much more apt to pull a Matt or Jamie and keep my distance for a few days when they upset me. This guy makes me want to stay and fight to get back to our happy place. I love to be happy, sorry Pastor Cal! 😛

[MajorNelson]

7 hours ago, Lindz said:

Did they even start on that road? Take a step? I suspect he quit before even beginning. Where did he try ANYTHING? 😂

I'll tell ya,, as far as your pov, at the reception on the 2nd episode his mom got all busy with the meaning of Iris' white dress, and asked Iris about it.  Iris: "Virgin for religious reasons."  Mom then tells Keith and he suddenly is floored with that situation AND "being told" by his own mother, and she implying he's got a problem on his  hands.  Then in his TH he says something like he needs to be careful and compassionate/considerate.  He hadn't yet left the reception hall, and he's already playing defense.

I wonder if he and Iris had gone over that ground organically what would have happened.

[MajorNelson]

2 hours ago, RaeSpellman said:

It would be interesting to know of the story about why Amber's mom left, how much contact they had after the mother started a new family, and what contact Amber has with the new family. On God Friended Me Cara's mother also left and had another child. It wasn't as simple as her mother abandoning her and starting over though.

4 hours ago, pdlinda said:

Didn't Amber say at the wedding/reception either her mom or stepmom was a lesbian in Boston?

Found it: When Amber was around four years old, her mother came out as a lesbian and moved to Massachusetts to find acceptance.

https://www.realitytvworld.com/news/married-at-first-sight-season-9-couples-revealed-by-lifetime----meet-new-cast-(photo)-25765g5387.php

I mean, I don't know what exactly that impact was and why her twin isn't (or is ) affected.

[cinsays]

4 minutes ago, MajorNelson said:

Didn't Amber say at the wedding/reception either her mom or stepmom was a lesbian in Boston?

Found it: When Amber was around four years old, her mother came out as a lesbian and moved to Massachusetts to find acceptance.

https://www.realitytvworld.com/news/married-at-first-sight-season-9-couples-revealed-by-lifetime----meet-new-cast-(photo)-25765g5387.php

I mean, I don't know what exactly that impact was and why her twin isn't (or is ) affected.

wow...…….that article says she is perfect for this process and is comfortable in her own skin...….must be a different Amber than the one I have been watching

[StatisticalOutlier]

56 minutes ago, MajorNelson said:

I'll tell ya,, as far as your pov, at the reception on the 2nd episode his mom got all busy with the meaning of Iris' white dress, and asked Iris about it.  Iris: "Virgin for religious reasons." 

What religion is it that condones oral sex but not sexual intercourse? 

[MajorNelson]

2 hours ago, kerrieway said:

Here's the tea..

If Amber was the one attracted to Raven and he didnt feel the same she would be so unbearable he'd have to disappear, however considers each other "best friends." I'm sorry what? "Best friends" not good friend or friends since kindergarten or gal pal...yeah he wants her.

Also as MAFsFan showed on Instagram, Raven was a MAFs finalist, he and a blond girl were almost the fourth couple. So we have a straight ready to be married man who found out his longtime crush and "best friend" would rather flip a coin and marry a stranger than be with him so he pretends not to care by following...erh I mean going with her to the MAFs interviews and trying out himself. All the while I suspect Raven was hoping either that Amber didnt get picked or that he could at least get a placeholder wife that would make him forget about his long unrequited love for Amber.

It would've been interesting if Raven had been picked instead of Amber or alongside her. 

So......How about the producers should have taken both Amber and Raven, and then the experts could have PAIRED THEM UP!!!

That would have been quite the story line, hometown best friends to marry!  Of course, not exactly at First Sight as they usually mean it, but still a surprise!

[Adeejay]

4 hours ago, pdlinda said:

As with Will last season (with Jasmine) maybe Keith is only an emotional cripple because Iris is mismatched as his mate!!

I agree. It’s almost as if Keith should be punished for not falling madly in love with Iris. You can’t make someone feel something that they are not. I just can’t believe that out of the hundreds of people I saw in that ballroom, Matt, Iris and Jamie made the final cut.

[cinsays]

34 minutes ago, MajorNelson said:

So......How about the producers should have taken both Amber and Raven, and then the experts could have PAIRED THEM UP!!!

That would have been quite the story line, hometown best friends to marry!  Of course, not exactly at First Sight as they usually mean it, but still a surprise!

or pair them with different people and then as the weeks progressed they realized they were meant for each other and acted on it

that, at least, would have been an interesting turn, 'cuz this mess is boring

[humbleopinion]

Who allows oral sex?.. The Church of  I Pick and Choose

At the The Church of I Pick and Choose:

Feel free to manipulate 

Be the biggest hypocrite

Wear a brilliant white wedding dress and crow about being a virgin because you haven't  had peen-vag sex but have done"other things"

[Kareem]

25 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

I agree. It’s almost as if Keith should be punished for not falling madly in love with Iris. You can’t make someone feel something that they are not. I just can’t believe that out of the hundreds of people I saw in that ballroom, Matt, Iris and Jamie made the final cut.

Too true. Sometimes it seems if the guys aren’t considered perfect, they’re douche lords and if the girls are a challenge, they’re getting a bad edit, are camera shy, are misunderstood and will be just fine down the road.  

Iris’ mom said her daughter’s relationships didn’t last which might explain her reason for wanting to do this but I still feel the “White! White! White!” Quarter Swallower didn’t belong there. While there’s nothing wrong with being in the V state, being on tv, being quirky and behaving childishly may not have been the look she was going for.  She  seems to think she’s great.

The other one didn’t have relationships according to her and her sister.  Maybe she also believed she’d have a better chance if the man were legally tethered for a while so that she could complete her bucket list.  She also seems to think she’s great.  

And the other two ladies should just seek help since they seem to have major issues to work out and were sadly matched with difficult, self-centered men.  

I wouldn’t be surprised if they all stayed together with the exception of Matt who let Amber know from the jump that this was a chore for him, except for the sex.  

[qtpye]

2 hours ago, sometimesjennifer said:

I think my issue with what Pastor Cal was saying was more about his demeanor and his seeming disgust at the notion that happiness should even enter into the equation. He was acting like it's wrong to strive for happiness within a marriage when you should be focusing on the goal of never getting a divorce. That is lunacy to me. Just BEING married isn't enough. If one partner is actively, knowingly doing things that are hurtful to the other over and over, that person shouldn't just roll over and take it for the sake of the marriage. Everyone should be able to advocate for their own well being and yes, happiness. I am sure that during the dark times in your marriage, your goal was to come out the other side and find happiness again together. No marriage, no PERSON, is always happy. I absolutely believe that weathering the difficulties of life together helps create stronger bonds within a marriage. My objection is to Pastor Cal's attitude toward the idea that trying to be happy is a waste of time. I don't think it's preposterous to say that trying to be happy should be everyone's ultimate goal, married or not. If these people aren't happy together in these early, simple times, there's no way they will be able to be supportive and strong for each other when REAL life shit goes down. There has to be a baseline of happiness to strive for so that there's a light at the end of the tunnel during the darkness.

Or maybe I am just ridiculously lucky that I am happy to be with my husband of 20 years no matter what is going on in our lives. That was how I knew he was the guy for me - even when we argued or he annoyed me, I still wanted to be near him. I had never felt that way about anyone before. With previous boyfriends, I was much more apt to pull a Matt or Jamie and keep my distance for a few days when they upset me. This guy makes me want to stay and fight to get back to our happy place. I love to be happy, sorry Pastor Cal! 😛

I think what the good pastor is striving for is to keep his cushy job on a shitty reality show.

[sometimesjennifer]

5 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I think what the good pastor is striving for is to keep his cushy job on a shitty reality show.

TRUTH 🤣

[Lily247]

6 hours ago, Soup333 said:

She recognizes the issue, which is good but I truly wonder if she’s gotten help for it. Rather than acknowledging the damage that has been done and having some healthy way to deal, she comes off as, “I have abandonment issues, you can’t treat me that way. It makes me sad.” 

Matt is complete shit but he can’t be the cure for Amber’s issues. 

Exactly. If she wants to be in a relationship, she cant rely on "i was abandoned as a child" as a crutch to get special treatment.