S09.E13: She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

[Lindz]

I hope Keith & Iris don't stay in a polite, sexless marriage like Cody & Danielle. 😂😂 Well. On Unfiltered, Iris said she was "getting to know" her husband. 😉 So maybe he's gotten where her other partners have. 

Edited September 6, 2019 by Lindz

[ECM1231]

2 hours ago, MajorNelson said:

"I like that you let me be the big spoon occasionally.    Teehee"

What does that even mean? 

[Empress1]

9 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

What does that even mean? 

Spooning = cuddling back to front. The "big spoon" is the person on the outside. Generally speaking, men tend to be the big spoon in straight pairings. In this gif the woman is the big spoon.

[humbleopinion]

1 hour ago, For Cereals said:

Red really needs to invest in some foundation garments...with underwire.

BethyBeth needs to do her soon to be ex husband a solid and  pick up a brohssiere for him when she picks up some wired foundation for herself....

  Jamie is sporting A cup moobs as seen when he was wearing that grid patterned shirt in the last episode...

He needs a 38A....one of those beginner bras you get a Sears...with the pink butterfly.....

Edited September 5, 2019 by humbleopinion

[Kiss my mutt]

54 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

I nominate Raven for most empathetic friend.

And long suffering I would suspect!

[Stella Rose]

I can't even think of spooning without picturing Neal (Neil) on his wedding night to Sam - wearing that big red onesie!  

[humbleopinion]

Aren't we all suffering with this cast?

Edited September 5, 2019 by humbleopinion

[Lindz]

40 minutes ago, cinsays said:

I think he is not affectionate because Iris is sending signals to keep him at a distance.

If he was an adult & cared about affection he'd discuss it with her. It's not difficult. 😂 What about his signals? I'm more interested in his words & his actions matching them. They're both lacking in open communication, progression, & actions.

[cinsays]

18 minutes ago, Lindz said:

If he was an adult & cared about affection he'd discuss it with her. It's not difficult. 😂 What about his signals? I'm more interested in his words & his actions matching them. They're both lacking in open communication, progression, & actions.

I think he doesn't see a road to progression with her and is just politely biding his time to get on with his life with someone more compatible.  

[Ohwell]

"Big spoon."  Ugh.  Forget the damn walls, it's Deonna's "cuteness" that annoys the hell out of me.  I guess Greg likes it but he's starting to get on my nerves as well with his pitiful, needy questions. 

I'm just grumpy and anxious for this season to be over.  None of these people are appealing and I know this might be a UO but here goes:  Keith.  Get a haircut. 

[Adeejay]

2 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

To be fair...they did cast Iris with a hot guy..Keith.  What woman wouldn't want to...yep..Iris again. 

Keith is everything.  He's handsome, experienced, gentle, kind, soft spoken and loves his momma.  Irish is a cold fish.  What if she would have been cast with a Jamie???  lol

I think Keith is the hottest and sexiest guy that has ever been on this show. I can’t help but wonder why he had to go this route to find a wife.  Something isn’t right.

[Lindz]

4 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

he's starting to get on my nerves as well with his pitiful, needy questions. 

Greg asks DUMB QUESTIONS!!!! Hence, why we're still hearing people talking about sex once a month or so. 😥😂 His dumb hypothetical, instead of further discussing how to get her in the mood. He knows he can't handle truth he doesn't want to hear. He needs to consult Bobby.

Edited September 5, 2019 by Lindz

[humbleopinion]

Keith was recruited by MAFS....they must have read his FB and he was enticed to sign on for The Island of Misfits....

Why did we have to endure Matt's lousy warbling when Keith has released a CD and is a musician....

Edited September 5, 2019 by humbleopinion

[Auntie]

I haven't watched this episode yet, but will be doing that this afternoon most likely.

Elizabeth has absolutely no filters or boundaries. Not only is she embarrassing herself on national TV, she is a complete embarrassment to her entire family, and friends (if she has any). Not that they understand that, though; and Elizabeth obviously doesn't give a damn. All she wants is her TV fame. That whole family should be studied by the psychological discipline. Something is definitely wrong with that entire situation. It wreaks of sexual improprieties in my opinion, between Elizabeth and her creepy father.

Iris remains as shallow and self-centered as ever. She will never change. She might as well just go join a convent. They'd LOVE her...

Amber. God, what a disaster. I have no idea how she can show her face at her place of employment, (Actually, ANY of these cast members - they've all made pretty much assholes of themselves.) She is beyond needy and clingy. She's smothering, pathetic, immature, gullbile, desperate, on and on.

Matt is a total loser. He can babble all he wants, nobody is buying his bullshit. Well, except for Amber. He could tell her the world was flat, that there are 9 days in a week, and she'd believe it. Go back to playing sub-par basketball in some foreign country and banging a different girl every night.

Deonna is gonna stay in her damsel tower and nobody is going to come and rescue her if she doesn't stop acting like she has been. She can sit by her tower window and snark at the crows that fly by.

Jamie. Ick. I feel like I have to take a bath in kerosene and scrub with a steel wool brush even after just seeing him on TV. I'm not sure how anybody could crawl into bed with that. Kinda makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit...

Greg. Stop trying so hard, dude. You're never going to get what you want/need/deserve from Deonna. Cut your losses, and go it on your own. You'll have much better luck.

Keith. Man, there is something that doesn't sit right with me about him. He's obviously playing the part for the camera. He just doesn't seem real or genuine to me.

[cinsays]

3 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Why did we have to endure Matt's lousy warbling when Keith has released a CD and is a musician....

Huh...…….probably because Matt's singing was good for a laugh and Keith's is probably enjoyable

and to see Amber fawn all over Matt about it - which shows she will do anything to humor him and make him see how she appreciates him and therefore should love her

[Annamz]

20 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Poor Iris! I have a feeling she is going to get her heart smashed to smithereens.

Poor Keith for being paired with her in the first place. 

[Lindz]

7 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

 Keith is the hottest and sexiest guy that has ever been on this show

NAH. Nor his actions. Nor his laid back personality that doesn't address concerns & progress the relationship. Nor that whack, impersonal necklace. He's a polite bore, a little nicer than Will.

[LennieBriscoe]

If Big Red has spoken negatively about Matt, I'd say that places her well within the "astute" range of "Perception."

It also depends on the nature of her criticism of Keith, who interestingly is getting some bad reviews here now! 

I don't believe any of "Unfiltered" is unscripted.

[luckylou]

5 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Iris should become a nun!  If I'm tired of her virginity can you imagine Keith.  That man's a saint. 

They have lived together as man and wife sleeping in the same bed and Iris is still a virgin?  And the funny thing is she wonders what he will say on decision day???

NO IRIS...NO THANKS!

@Auntie.  I feel suspicious of Iris and Keith too, especially since she has admitted she was only technically a virgin.  Why would a person who treasured her virginity, as Iris claims to do, volunteer for such a program?  I think it is more likely she wanted the tv gig and decided to go with virginity to make herself stand out among the contestants.  On at least a couple previous seasons, we have learned that the couples have not always been honest about this matter of having sex. Remember the pair in Miami and then the couple a season or two ago... Since the whole schtick  with Iris is this “virginity”... which has become something more like frigidity...Keith, Mr. Nice Guy, can’t “take” her virginity and then decide to divorce, as he has explained ad nauseam.  My beef with Iris is that she seems so phoney so much of the time, but sometimes seems pretty normal and easy to get along with in every day living situations.  It appears she and Keith have had no trouble getting along on a day to day basis.  Without the frigidity  business, they would be a very boring couple.   

Edited September 5, 2019 by luckylou

[Haute Messe]

On 9/5/2019 at 8:41 AM, Retired at last said:

I am glad we didn't see her father, maybe he had to be hospitalized at the thought of all of the Caucasian sex his daughter was being subjected to?

Ha - choking alert please!!

On 9/5/2019 at 8:18 AM, lids said:

We finally get to see the breakdown between Iris and Keith. Iris’ mom said all Iris relationships have been a disaster. I guess Iris thought the reason was because the men wouldn’t commit, but hopefully from watching this she’ll realize her personality pushes men away. Like Beth, it appears that Iris doesn’t have close female friends. I imagine they both annoy people with their need to be the center of attention. 

This is what I had been curious about, and am not even slightly surprised by this. Iris might appeal to a certain type of super straight laced puritanical guy, and I'm not sure how many of those in her age bracket exist in this century. It's like she was born 50 years too late. I am willing to bet that not only does she wear those awful clip on earrings, but also has a kleenex stuffed up her cardigan sleeve, like my grandma and June Cleaver.

Edited September 6, 2019 by lizajane
Replaced a word with one that is better suited.

[Stella Rose]

10 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

I don't believe any of "Unfiltered" is unscripted.

I can agree with you to a point.  I doubt anyone can keep Big Red Mouth on script.  She seems...  unpredictable at best.

[sometimesjennifer]

2 hours ago, MajorNelson said:

Good catch, he was saying some weird stuff.

I imagine....

Desired Goal = sticking together...which I think relates to commitment.  He said happiness comes and goes.

The other way to look at this is think about his job and "goals" - he wants a much higher success rate for these couples to be together long term.

You're so right - PC's desired goal is proving he can make successful matches, so to him it really is a business transaction. The problem is that he views choosing to stay together as a success, full stop. However, most people probably list making each other happy as one of the benchmarks of a successful marriage. Avoiding a divorce should be the bare minimum, not the main goal. Mostly I am bummed for people like Amber who become convinced that they MUST stay in it or else they are failing. She said many times that she is trying to be perfect and it's not enough for Matt. She's a nervous wreck all the time because she will never be what he wants. The experts should be giving her so much more support than they have been. What's the point of having them involved if they don't actually do anything to help the couples when they are hurting, but rather bully them into staying in horrible situations?

[Lindz]

25 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Keith, who interestingly is getting some bad reviews here now

Why? HOW has he wowed & impressed? So he didn't run after he found out she was a "virgin" & played it cool. Big whoop. 😂

[StatisticalOutlier]

20 hours ago, Ohwell said:

First Elizabeth, and now Deonna.  If I hear another person on this show say "between xxx and I," I'm going to scream. 

If your problem is the absence of "me" in their vocabulary, maybe it would help for you to concentrate on how many times "Me and xxx" is used as the subject of a sentence. 

Or maybe not.

.

7 hours ago, Katie111 said:

 Iris’s Mother is great, but my virginity would not be a hot topic I’d want to discuss with my mom on a daily basis.

Especially since she says she's engaged in oral sex.  It's one thing to say, "I'm a virgin," and have your mom in on that.  But not if you're going to be getting into the nitty gritty of exceptions.  Yuck.

[Back when this nonsense started like 20 years ago, I had a bumper sticker made to look like the "My child is an honor student" ones, with "My daughter is technically a virgin."]

.

6 hours ago, sometimesjennifer said:

Back to Unfiltered: can we please talk about something Pastor Nutjob said, because he really had my head spinning. I had to rewind three times because I felt like I had to be hearing him wrong. According to him, you cannot judge a marriage on whether or not it makes you happy. "Base your marriage on whether or not it's a valuable commodity that can take us to a desired goal." WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT?? Am I crazy to think this is a horrible thing to say? A marriage isn't a business contract. It's not a fucking "commodity."

Until relatively recently, marriage was much more like a business contract than anything related to love or even companionship, and in fact still is in some parts of the world. 

But if you're going to use that model, then you need to not be so focused on love or sexual compatibility in the first few weeks, Pastor Cal.

.

3 hours ago, Kroliosis said:

Does anyone know if she can get an annulment since they never consummated the marriage?

Only if the non-consummation is because of impotence.

Also, North Carolina requires a one-year separation before filing for divorce.  At least that means none of these morons can repeat the mistake for a while. 

[Ohwell]

4 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

If your problem is the absence of "me" in their vocabulary, maybe it would help for you to concentrate on how many times "Me and xxx" is used as the subject of a sentence. 

Or maybe not.

Oh, I didn't even want to think about it.  Didn't want my head to explode.  

Also, let's not forget "xxx and I's."

[Lindz]

15 minutes ago, sometimesjennifer said:

However, most people probably list making each other happy as one of the benchmarks of a successful marriage

Idk. We're all responsible for our own happiness. I think a partner can add to someone's happiness or not. I know they better not detract from the other's happiness or cause any negative emotions & think that's acceptable. 

[sometimesjennifer]

2 minutes ago, Lindz said:

Idk. We're all responsible for our own happiness. I think a partner can add to someone's happiness or not. I know they better not detract from the other's happiness or cause any negative emotions & think that's acceptable. 

Yea, I'm not saying people should RELY on their partners as their sole source of happiness, but attempting to make each other happy should be a consideration. Matt is actively making Amber utterly miserable, and he knows it. He just doesn't care and is more concerned with his own happiness. The comment that triggered Cal's little diatribe was Matt saying that he hadn't stopped to consider if he was happy in the marriage. Cal scoffed at the notion that happiness should even be a factor in judging the success of a marriage. That's bonkers to me. If you derive zero happiness from being around someone, you probably shouldn't be married to that person. If you are unable to find any happiness in life without your spouse, you should probably seek therapy. 

That has been a glaring negative this season - many of the people chosen aren't in good working order emotionally before they enter into this environment. They are coming in with a ton of intimacy issues, fear of abandonment, sexual dysfunctions, childhood coin swallowing trauma, you name it. I guess that's why they are willing to marry a stranger on tv, but you would think the experts would at least try to find people who are somewhat well adjusted rather than complete train wrecks. Of course, the train wrecks make it more entertaining, so maybe they are doing their jobs exactly right. 😉

[Adeejay]

1 hour ago, LennieBriscoe said:

It also depends on the nature of her criticism of Keith, who interestingly is getting some bad reviews here  now.

I have a feeling that Keith pulled the plug on decision day.  The reason I say this is because on last night’s episode, Iris came right out and said that she wanted to stay married and hoped he did too. However, two days ago I read an interview that she gave to a magazine, and she seemed angry.  Apparently, she wishes that he had communicated to her what he told his mom and what he said in his talking heads. Keith should brace himself, because if he said “no” he is going to feel some heat. Just like Will.

[humbleopinion]

It will be a bold move on Keith's part if he chooses to reject continuing on with a sexless marriage..he will feel the Wrath of Iris...

I don't hate when a couple abandons ship and call it quits.....

Iris may try to outflank Keith declaring the marriage dunzo...she is not going to look like a chump.....

If they both decide to stay married for appearance's sake, it will be over soon enough....

Edited September 5, 2019 by humbleopinion

[kerrieway]

3 hours ago, Auntie said:

Keith. Man, there is something that doesn't sit right with me about him. He's obviously playing the part for the camera. He just doesn't seem real or genuine to me.

Couldn't agree more about everything you said in your post, including Keith. There is something off about him. Iris is an immature drama queen but Keith seems like an empty shell of a Ken doll. Virginity never stopped any man and there is something soft and delicate about Keith that makes him unattractive despite his looks. 

I want Amber to get therapy, someone needs to show her that she is more than enough and that person should first and foremost be her. 

Lurch... Matt is an apathetic ass. What screener let this jobless, emotionless zombie of a man marry ANYONE, let alone Amber? The fact that they let this homeless man-baby (who I'm convinced only did MAFS because he was looking for 3 hots and a cot) marry a girl with abandonment issues and a long history of being a doormat is professionally irresponsible and at worst an enablement of emotional ABUSE. 

Deonna is icy and non-communicative. Being married is about being vulnerable, I wouldn't fault Greg for leaving but she is the absolute best of the group of women.  I applaud her for not making a fool of herself on TV, that cannot be said for most of the cast. 

Jamie is disgusting and the only person I hate more than him is Matt. Beth is childish and immature but Jamie is evil. Beth asks about his parent's divorce and instead of walking out, asking to change the subject, telling her he doesn't want to talk about it he attacks his wife for being a daddy's girl and getting a job handed to her. He call his wife a c***, and when Beth is being ridiculous in public instead of being the adult and calmly taking her to the side and telling her that she needs to tone it down he yells at her to STFU. Also he never apologizes and at every turn demands sex explains that Elizabeth is non-sexual (didn't Beth complain about getting a UTI in an earlier episode) when I thought they agreed to hold off on the sex and build an emotional connection. This guy then complains to Beth's gay best friend that he isn't getting sex. This is not only embarrassing but disgusting. 

Jamie go and get a prostitute, that's what you wanted, not a wife. 

I cringed when Greg asked Deonna if she loved him. It was hella awkward and felt skeevy for some reason, it wasn't natural at all. Greg seems like a great guy and should stop coming off as so needy, use a little game: romantic candles, push and pull etc. Tell her what he loves about her and see if she'll eventually express how she feels. If she doesn't jump ship. 

These were the worst matches since season 2. 

Edited September 6, 2019 by kerrieway

[qtpye]

8 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Iris should become a nun!  If I'm tired of her virginity can you imagine Keith.  That man's a saint. 

They have lived together as man and wife sleeping in the same bed and Iris is still a virgin?  And the funny thing is she wonders what he will say on decision day???

NO IRIS...NO THANKS!

Iris can’t join a convent, God would get sick of hearing about her virginity all the time and damn us all.

I am afraid that desperate Amber is the perfect mark for a conman that will clear out her bank account and break her heart.

[Elizzikra]

2 hours ago, sometimesjennifer said:

Yea, I'm not saying people should RELY on their partners as their sole source of happiness, but attempting to make each other happy should be a consideration. Matt is actively making Amber utterly miserable, and he knows it. He just doesn't care and is more concerned with his own happiness. The comment that triggered Cal's little diatribe was Matt saying that he hadn't stopped to consider if he was happy in the marriage. Cal scoffed at the notion that happiness should even be a factor in judging the success of a marriage. That's bonkers to me. If you derive zero happiness from being around someone, you probably shouldn't be married to that person. If you are unable to find any happiness in life without your spouse, you should probably seek therapy. 

That has been a glaring negative this season - many of the people chosen aren't in good working order emotionally before they enter into this environment. They are coming in with a ton of intimacy issues, fear of abandonment, sexual dysfunctions, childhood coin swallowing trauma, you name it. I guess that's why they are willing to marry a stranger on tv, but you would think the experts would at least try to find people who are somewhat well adjusted rather than complete train wrecks. Of course, the train wrecks make it more entertaining, so maybe they are doing their jobs exactly right. 😉

I didn’t watch Unfiltered so I didn’t hear Pastor Cal - but the idea of marriage being a tool toward a goal - what? I mean, it sort of makes sense but what if happiness is your goal? 

I don’t think that any single person can make another person happy but in a marriage, you certainly shouldn’t be making your partner unhappy. That, to me, would be a symptom of a troubled marriage. As for Matt not stopping to consider if he was happy in the marriage - I don’t think that Matt stops to consider much of anything. I think he’s incredibly immature and self-centered and does whatever feels good to him at the moment. He derived some sort of satisfaction from being on the show - whether it was the 15 minutes of fame or the free place to live for awhile or something else. He doesn’t think about anyone else.

Count me among the folks who are sick and tired of Iris’s virginity being the third participant in her marriage and the 9th cast member of the show. Instead of asking Keith if her virginity was an obstacle in their marriage. What she needed to be asking was if their sex life (or lack thereof) was still an obstacle in their marriage. In her own special way, Iris is just as selfish as Matt. Her precious virginity is all about her and she never even thought about the fact that she was denying Keith an opportunity to get to know a really important part of herself and determine if they were sexually compatible, which is critically important in a marriage. She never thought about what the potential impact would be on Keith to be in a sexless marriage for an undetermined period of time and to have to constantly live with the uncertainty of when, or even whether or not, he was going to be able to have a sexual relationship with his own wife. It was always all about her. I initially liked her and had hopes for them but now I just see her as selfish and immature, incapable (at least at this time) of being a true partner to anyone.

[configdotsys]

Greg seems like such a dud when he constantly whines, “I need her to open up.” It’s like a broken record every week with him saying the same thing. He got all the answers that he needed from Deonna throughout the weeks, but this week his face said it all. Why on earth would he settle for something that requires such exhausting work? Deonna is just as stunted growth wise as Iris. Every time I see Iris on the screen I think that she needs to grow up and then begin to look for a life partner. Deonna rings up the same thing to me. 

I get the premise of the show is marrying a stranger but these people are living together 24/7 for two months. I've been in relationships in which I'd see the person a few times a week and after two months, hell, after one month, you have a pretty good feeling if it has potential to go anywhere. By this point, if things were real, you'd be in a state of "I can't wait to see X," but none of these couples show that at all except for Amber. They've all seen exactly what they are getting if they stay married and if they decide to stay and are miserable then it's all self-inflicted.

Jamie and Elizabeth they deserve each other. I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at the post that talked about Jamie's vanilla bean peen not being up to par for Elizabeth. Too funny. Jamie has a mean streak and seems to take some sort of pleasure cutting Elizabeth down when he doesn't get his way. She's a loon to be sure but he seems cruel to me. 

I've never found anything remotely interesting about Iris or Keith. She's too childish and seems to have zero capability of having an adult relationship. Their entire presence on this show reeked of fake to me.

What to say about Amber? She was clearly devastated after Raven told her about Matt. I think she is a fool, but watching her made me feel bad that she is so desperate that her deep grief is because she won't be able to keep this loser. Raven is a good friend that was very upset for her. I wonder why those two have not gotten together. Raven tried out to be on the show and was almost selected so he's available and obviously cares very deeply for Amber.

Does Matt think everyone is stupid? His comments in every talking head, every convo with the fellas, experts and Amber should be accompanied by the Twilight Zone theme. He says things that are so far removed from the reality that we are seeing. He's a fucking dolt. Can anybody be that dense? I guess so. 

I, too, though this was decision week and watching all the "will you, won't you" conversations was boring as hell because no one was going to say with the big show coming up next week. 

Off to read your snark now. 

[VioletNevermind]

5 hours ago, Stella Rose said:

I can't even think of spooning without picturing Neal (Neil) on his wedding night to Sam - wearing that big red onesie!  

I miss him!  I thought he was such a sweet, funny, intelligent guy (the onesie aside).  This season is just packed full of duds (looking at you, Mouth-breathing Matt).

[Rae Spellman]

1 hour ago, kerrieway said:

I cringed when Greg asked Deonna if she loved him. It was hella awkward and felt skeevy for some reason, it wasn't natural at all. 

Especially since he told Piko that he hasn't told Deonna that he loves her. It was consistent with asking if she was smitten week one or two though. 

20 hours ago, Spectator said:

This is what happens when a girl doesn’t date anyone since high school...she has no idea what’s out there in the dating world and she doesn’t have the perspective or common sense to grab a tremendous thing when it’s plopped in her lap. 

A woman who has only had situationships for the first decade of her adult life and/or a thirty-one year old who knows and talks to other humans knows the dating world can be brutal. Knowing Greg is a good guy, and knowing how to change habits that she's been practicing for over a decade, and showing that change in two months, while being televised, so that she can have a healthy relationship with him are entirely different things. 

7 hours ago, Liberty said:

There is a great deal of 'scripting' and editing in this  to heighten the drama that keeps us watching.

Indeed. Maybe scripting and editing is exaggerating Greg and Deonna's personalities. 

[2727]

Indulging in one of my favorite MAFS pastimes, shuffling the matches:

Jamie wants to be coddled, flattered and puffed up. He wants a "sexual being." He gets a sick thrill from gaslighting his partner because it makes him feel more powerful in comparison.

Now, who is willing to give all the compliments, have all the sex, hand over all her money and take all the abuse? Hm.

It would absolutely be another toxic match, but I think at least there'd be a lot less screaming since Amber doesn't fight back.

In other news, I suspect Raven told Amber about seeing Matt some time before it was presented to viewers; likely before the couples retreat. She was very downcast there already.

[Desert Rat]

11 hours ago, sometimesjennifer said:

Tipsy, loose Deonna is ADORABLE! I noticed that at the cabin, too. After a little alcohol she is silly and relaxed, so cute. You hit the nail on the head - she's slow to warm up but when she does she's golden. I think that is what Greg is missing. He thinks there is some secret code to unlock her so he's diligently trying to figure it out, but really he just needs to spend time and BE with her. It's not complicated.

I want to hang out with Deonna and her friends. They are so great. I also loved Greg's friend and Greg's, "Sir, that is my WIFE!" response to him. So, so cute.

Back to Unfiltered: can we please talk about something Pastor Nutjob said, because he really had my head spinning. I had to rewind three times because I felt like I had to be hearing him wrong. According to him, you cannot judge a marriage on whether or not it makes you happy. "Base your marriage on whether or not it's a valuable commodity that can take us to a desired goal." WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT?? Am I crazy to think this is a horrible thing to say? A marriage isn't a business contract. It's not a fucking "commodity." No, you cannot expect to be happy 100% of the time, but if someone makes you completely miserable, surely that is enough reason to walk away. PC's shitty advice is why Amber keeps going on and on about how she and Matt are completely compatible "on paper" and that is making her want to try to make the marriage work. She doesn't care if she is sobbing and upset every night. Isn't quality of life important?? Am I nuts to think so?

From personal experience, I think PC's advice was spot on. I've been married over 30 years. We are best friends and I think we have a great marriage. Are we happy? Yes, a lot. Have we been miserable in our marriage? Yes also.  at times very unhappy. There have been times when I thought marrying my husband was the worst decision of my life.  There are times I thought it was the best. Those are all emotions.  I have a good, long marriage of trust and love because I fought through the negative emotions and made the conscious decision to stay committed to my husband and our marriage even when I couldn't stand him. I knew that my marriage was more important than my temporary emotions. PC has said love is not an emotion, it is a decision. He is right. If your marriage is based on the emotion of love, it will fail because the emotion cannot be sustained over years and decades, over the stresses of life. However, you can have a long meaningful relationship, if you make the decision each day to love your partner through it all.   

That being said, I do not think Amber and Matt should be married. Matt is not committed to the marriage. It takes two. Also, Amber does not love Matt in any sense of the word.  She loves the idea of Matt, not the man. She wants a marriage for the sake of being married but has no clue as to what a successful marriage looks like.  I think her mother abandoning her left her very damaged.  

[MajorNelson]

5 hours ago, sometimesjennifer said:

You're so right - PC's desired goal is proving he can make successful matches, so to him it really is a business transaction. The problem is that he views choosing to stay together as a success, full stop. However, most people probably list making each other happy as one of the benchmarks of a successful marriage. Avoiding a divorce should be the bare minimum, not the main goal. Mostly I am bummed for people like Amber who become convinced that they MUST stay in it or else they are failing. She said many times that she is trying to be perfect and it's not enough for Matt. She's a nervous wreck all the time because she will never be what he wants. The experts should be giving her so much more support than they have been. What's the point of having them involved if they don't actually do anything to help the couples when they are hurting, but rather bully them into staying in horrible situations?

Good points.  And if the "goal" is staying together no matter the pain/unhappiness or various maladjustments people have, then DON'T BOTHER with "scientifically" matching them.  Just tell them poof you are married until death, and divorce is not an option.

[Jeanne222]

Did any body happen to watch the couch episode tonight?  We might get a suprise out of matt and Amber on decision night!  It's at the  very end of tonight's showing with the couch people giving their two cents !!

[gingerandcloves]

Recap of the preview for next week (I put the last bit in spoilers since it probably gives away one couples' decision):

Pastor Cal: "Next week on Married At First Sight, it's Decision Day."

Greg in talking head: "It's crazy it's been eight weeks already."

Amber in talking head: "I feel like I can barely breathe."

Pastor Cal voiceover: "Our couples will have to make the most consequential decision of their lives: to stay married or to get a divorce."

Quick montage of all eight getting ready to meet up with the experts.

Elizabeth sitting on bed, voiceover: "I dont know if I can find peace living with Jamie."

Jamie riding in car, fiddling with wedding band, voiceover: "We definitely have some unanswered questions...but Beth and I are in love."

Iris standing at window, voiceover: "I don't want to be divorced, I don't want to have to go through a divorce."

Amber riding in car, talking to camera: "I don't know why I care so much about him." (Me neither, Amber!) 

Cut to Matt, putting on jacket.

Amber, still talking: "I just do care about him."

Cut to Deonna riding in car, playing with wedding ring.

Greg, voiceover: "If Deonna says no today, I will be hurt, honestly." (If Deonna says no, she's an idiot and deserves to be single forever). Cut to Greg stepping out of car and buttoning his jacket.

Cut to Keith, facing the three experts, Pastor Cal says, "Just to be straight, are you sexually frustrated?" Cut to Iris, who looks over at Keith. Keith: "It's definitely been an obstacle." Iris looks down. 

Cut to Elizabeth and Jamie on couch. Pastor Cal: "Jamie said some things that I don't even want to talk about." Jamie: "There's something wrong with me." Elizabeth nods head in agreement (I agree, too!).

Cut to Amber and Matt on couch, sitting far apart. Amber: "My best friend saw him talking to a girl at a bar, and then he left with the girl." Dr. Vivianna looks over at the other two experts. Pastor Cal raises his eyebrows, like, seriously? Matt: "But I'm also just holding out hope." Dr. Pepper in annoyed tone: "Holding out hope? Are you dating?" Pastor Cal makes big expression with his hands, like he's fed up. Amber's looking resigned, but like she hasn't completely given up yet. Matt's like, shrug, yeah. 

Dr. Pepper, over montages of everyone (including Matt, wiping his brow with a handkerchief😞 "The time has come for the two of you to make a decision..."

Dr. Vivianna: "Do you want to stay married?"

Pastor Cal: "Or do you want to get a divorce?"

Cut to Jamie: "Things have just gotten really toxic." Elizabeth is looking surprised, like she did not see that coming.

Spoiler

Cut to Matt: "I think we still have potential." Amber's nodding her head. 

Amber: "You're my perfect match, you're who I want." (Can I smack Amber yet?)

Matt: "Same." Amber's wiping her eyes. Dr. Vivianna and Pastor Cal look like they want to explode.

Edited September 6, 2019 by gingerandcloves
wrong name

[Kareem]

The half hour preview show of next week initially had one couple with the experts and one person announcing their decision and then turned into embarrassing moments from all seasons.  What the heck.   

[Soup333]

Keith is pretty innocuous IMO. I could see him saying yes to see how it goes with Iris for a while. I like him and his necklace.

Amber is just...I hope she gets some help to deal with her issues. Really. I honestly feel as though she would accept Matt KNOWING he was cheating on her as long as she could still claim him as her husband. She's already said she's willing to do anything. When Raven told her she almost immediately said that she still wanted it to work. That made me cringe. After a two month marriage she's willing to accept him staying out all night and forgive adultery as well? Wow.

[Jeanne222]

4 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

Recap of the preview for next week (I put the last bit in spoilers since it probably gives away one couples' decision):

Pastor Cal: "Next week on Married At First Sight, it's Decision Day."

Greg in talking head: "It's crazy it's been eight weeks already."

Amber in talking head: "I feel like I can barely breathe."

Pastor Cal voiceover: "Our couples will have to make the most consequential decision of their lives: to stay married or to get a divorce."

Quick montage of all eight getting ready to meet up with the experts.

Elizabeth sitting on bed, voiceover: "I dont know if I can find peace living with Jamie."

Jamie riding in car, fiddling with wedding band, voiceover: "We definitely have some unanswered questions...but Beth and I are in love."

Iris standing at window, voiceover: "I don't want to be divorced, I don't want to have to go through a divorce."

Amber riding in car, talking to camera: "I don't know why I care so much about him." (Me neither, Amber!) 

Cut to Matt, putting on jacket.

Amber, still talking: "I just do care about him."

Cut to Deonna riding in car, playing with wedding ring.

Greg, voiceover: "If Deonna says no today, I will be hurt, honestly." (If Deonna says no, she's an idiot and deserves to be single forever). Cut to Greg stepping out of car and buttoning his jacket.

Cut to Keith, facing the three experts, Pastor Cal says, "Just to be straight, are you sexually frustrated?" Cut to Iris, who looks over at Keith. Keith: "It's definitely been an obstacle." Iris looks down. 

Cut to Elizabeth and Jamie on couch. Pastor Cal: "Jamie said some things that I don't even want to talk about." Jamie: "There's something wrong with me." Elizabeth nods head in agreement (I agree, too!).

Cut to Amber and Matt on couch, sitting far apart. Amber: "My best friend saw him talking to a girl at a bar, and then he left with the girl." Dr. Vivianna looks over at the other two experts. Pastor Cal raises his eyebrows, like, seriously? Matt: "But I'm also just holding out hope." Dr. Pepper in annoyed tone: "Holding out hope? Are you dating?" Pastor Cal makes big expression with his hands, like he's fed up. Amber's looking resigned, but like she hasn't completely given up yet. Matt's like, shrug, yeah. 

Dr. Pepper, over montages of everyone (including Matt, wiping his brow with a handkerchief😞 "The time has come for the two of you to make a decision..."

Dr. Vivianna: "Do you want to stay married?"

Pastor Cal: "Or do you want to get a divorce?"

Cut to Jamie: "Things have just gotten really toxic." Elizabeth is looking surprised, like she did not see that coming.

  Hide contents

Cut to Matt: "I think we still have potential." Amber's nodding her head. 

Amber: "You're my perfect match, you're who I want." (Can I smack Amber yet?)

Matt: "Same." Amber's wiping her eyes. Dr. Vivianna and Pastor Cal look like they want to explode.

Yep that's what I saw, heard and almost fainted!!!

[Meowwww]

This Couples Couch show. 

FIX THE AUDIO!!  The couples’ audio is so weak and full of static that it pains me to listen to their (very few) comments.  Pillow Talk, it is not. 

[sasha206]

I just finished binge watching the show and have two observations:  Beth becomes better looking (she has gorgeous skin) and a little less annoying to me, and Iris becomes less gorgeous to me.  Amber is a fucking idiot and should hook up with her best friend, assuming he's straight and into her.  

Jamie.  Paunchy sure wants a sex slave.  How can someone be that smart and as accomplished as his mother made him sound to be and have zero awareness that women don't want to perform when you are being a dick. As annoying as Beth is, she deserves better than that asshole.

I love Greg.  If Deonna isn't into him, I don't know what she's smoking.  He is one of the sweetest men I've ever seen on these reality shows.  I think these two are the only ones that really stand a chance.

Keith:  I think he's so torn because on paper, Iris is outstanding.  But if being a virgin is an obstacle for him, he just isn't that into her.  Iris seems to now realize that as adorable and good on paper that she is, she seems in love with him and he doesn't seem to be with her.  I think she knows it.

And really, if you have to talk constantly about being a virgin, you are taking all of the passion out of sex.  It either happens or it doesn't.  Stop fucking talking about it!

Edited September 6, 2019 by sasha206

[sasha206]

On 9/4/2019 at 8:57 PM, Kareem said:

I could look at Keith’s face all day.   js

And his mother's!  They are both just flat out beautiful people!

[sasha206]

On 9/4/2019 at 11:10 PM, humbleopinion said:

Doug needs to brush JamieO’s extensions before she clips them in...they look like a cheap Lady Godiva wig you wear with a beige leotard with fig leaves sewn on the boobs and crotchal area....

He is now much better looking than her!

[sasha206]

23 hours ago, Katie111 said:

Does Jaimie have any friends?  On the episode when the other couples had friends over, Jaimie and Beth just had their parents over.   Same with Beth, they have not shown her with any girlfriends ever.  Amber either.  She seems to have Raven (who I think is gay) but no girl friends.  Maybe if these couples had a life outside of their marriages, things would work out better for them.  Maybe if Amber had a group of girlfriends, Matt would ask her to join him when he goes out with his buddies every night.

 Iris’s Mother is great, but my virginity would not be a hot topic I’d want to discuss with my mom on a daily basis. And just get over yourself already Iris.  Keith has been with plenty of women, deflowering you is not going to be as exciting for him as you think it is.  Just get it over with already. 

i have a feeling Iris thinks being a virgin means she is wanted and adored by all males that want to deflower her so she talks about it continually and is surprised that Keith would view this as an obstacle.

The fact Keith thinks it is an obstacle and isn't sure he should be the one to deflower her just shows you that he's not into her.  If he even thought he was her forever man, he would not have any concerns about taking her virginity.  But he clearly isn't that into her and therefore he doesn't want the guilt of being that guy that fucks her and leaves.

[watchingtvaddict]

On 9/5/2019 at 11:23 AM, topanga said:

And I’m sorry, but Deonna is too. Why does Greg have to sink a pool ball to be able to ask her questions about her feelings? And she still makes the answers all about herself. 

Greg continues to do 99% of the giving in this marriage. And that just isn’t fair. 

Greg seems way too needy to me. If I was dating a guy and he was constantly asking for validation it would be a total turn off. Can't you read by my body language/willingness to have sex that I'm into you? 

but, I think Greg and Deonna are fine AND

Greg and Deonna seem to have a schtick where they play a game (bowling, pool whatever) and ask stupid questions. I 100% believe they've agreed off camera to play their relationship *on camera* as a "ask stupid questions when being competitive to further the narrative" game. 

Their issues seem to stem from not knowing when the other is joking vs being serious.(but they have both stated they enjoy and like the playful/jokey aspect of the relationship)/

I think they are both going to say "yes" on decision day and they're only prevaricating is because the penultimate episode asks the couples to act like they're unsure about their final decision.  

[humbleopinion]

Jamie and Beth probably do have strong emotional feelings each other in their twisted, ugly, overly dramatic way... they may mistaken it for passion disguised as pent up frustration/anger/piss...

Remember LizzyBeth proclaimed that Jamie's peniz is the magic key that fits her vajay jay and exit chute...how romantic was that?....gag....hurl....

Red feeds on the fact that Jamie reacts so strongly to her...he goes from zero to one hundred when she flashes a tit...which is when she going out to get the mail..walk the dog because BethieBeth need some good bras to corral her floppy gals....

Jamie need learn some tantric breathing exercises or rub one out so he isn't a walking hard on....he needs to think of a naked Betty White doing jumping jacks  to calm his ween  down....

BougieRouge and CurledLip.  both say yes