S08.E12: The Weight of the World

[kicksave]

10 hours ago, kitkat343 said:

Catelyn and Tyler have no jobs beyond whining on television.  Someday poor Carly is going to watch this and realize that her mother couldn't take time from her busy schedule of checking social media and running away from the two kids she actually kept to go to Arizona for "therapy" to finish her scrapbook on time.

If they waited to finish the scrapbook after the visit, they could have put a bunch of nice pictures from this visit in the book, so it would totally have looked like they planned to give it to her after the visit.   It could have a note saying how glad they were to have spent time with her, and that they treasure all the pictures they have of her.  

 Poor Brandon and Theresa know that if they impose any reasonable consequences on these idiots for their behavior they will be pilloried by their brain dead fans.  And the irony is that we've endured three episodes of Cate whining about having to go to the zoo, when now at least B&T have something to do with their children while they wait for Cate to show up!

Oh, and Mackenzie's husband - please don't tell your kid people get tired and go to sleep when they die.  It's hard enough to get children to go to bed without giving them the idea that they might never wake up.

Mackenzie's husband is an idiot...Gannon impressed me with his inquisitive nature and really wanting the truth about his grandmother and then his dopey Dad said this??? OMG! Maybe they should have conferenced with their Pastor or church elder about how to discuss this with small children before diving into it without any preparation...geez...these two are hard to watch.

[dariafan]

MTV needs to learn from it’s mistakes with David.  Cut amber loose of you are that afraid of her.  Or let her attack you and sue to get your money back 

[Pepper Mostly]

34 minutes ago, Quilty said:

I wonder ifC&T spend time doing arts and crafts and making scrapbooks with Nova that have nothing to do with Carly? 

Oh that is precious! Why, Nova might start to think that she is important and beloved for her very own self, not that she exists to be Carly's sister! She don't need no stinking scrapbook! Why would she need a scrapbook?? She's home with her loving, engaged parents every day, spending quality time together! You know, being posed for Instagram photos, waving goodbye through tears as one or both of her parents takes off for some "me time", being placed in her room alone to cry when she's upset.........oh wait

20 minutes ago, Quilty said:

C&T wanted to be late arriving at the zoo because they didn't want to go there to begin with. If it's not their plan they act like selfish brats. It's always about them and how they feel.

Their behavior is petty and childish.

[druzy]

22 minutes ago, kicksave said:

OMG! I couldn't believe Maci was putting poor Bentley out there like that...the kid has enough on his plate with his deadbeat Dad and Maci/Taylor putting stuff like their fake birth control debate on TV now his life is going to be blasted out? What lengths these morons go to make money the easy way instead of getting real jobs.

There was no reason to use Bentley for a storyline. She already uses his social media accounts to generate income from clickbait.  Maci would have gotten a few episodes out of organizing a fundraiser and raising awareness for the local chapter of the PCOS Association. 

[edie3]

If it is a open adoption, can if ever be changed to a closed one?

[geauxaway]

3 minutes ago, edie3 said:

If it is a open adoption, can if ever be changed to a closed one?

As far as I know “open adoption” is nothing more than a courtesy. I don’t think it is legally enforceable.   It’s not joint custody with the birth parents, there is no such thing.  B&T are Carly’s one and only parents, if they don’t want to communicate with C&T it’s not against the law.  

[ghoulina]

4 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Poor Nova. She knows that Carly is the important one.

She really does. Notice when they were talking about playing and running with Carly at the park, Nova proclaimed that she was "faster". She's trying to do anything to win her parents' approval over Carly. 

1 hour ago, Quilty said:

C&T wanted to be late arriving at the zoo because they didn't want to go there to begin with. If it's not their plan they act like selfish brats. It's always about them and how they feel.

They really didn't want to do the zoo. What? Too much walking? I bet they were using the scrapbook as a cover; and hoped B&T&C would walk around seeing stuff so they didn't have to when they got there. 

[4Sibes Redux]

I watch this show because I enjoy making fun of the idiots. But there is no fun in watching Mackenzie having her actual world fall apart. But I do wonder if MTV forced the husband to apologize on camera for his behavior to make Mac’s situation seem less devastating. 

Regarding Amber, I’m suspicious that some of her scenes were filmed after the arrest as a mental health alibi. 

And C & T... I want to laugh at them. Not cringe. I saw no humor in their self-centered tone deafness to actual reality. Just when I think they are as stupid as possible, they do the impossible. 

Edited August 20, 2019 by 4Sibes Redux

[SuzWhat]

1 hour ago, Coffeewinewater said:

So how did Tyler see Brandon comforting Carly? I thought they passed each other in the car. Not that it matters, it's just another Tyler dramatic scene. 

We've all seem him "comfort" NotCarly.  Usually it involves shouting "you are OK" from several feet away.  Or Cate "she'll get over it <shrug>" when NotCarly was screaming in distress.  

[kitkat343]

1 hour ago, geauxaway said:

As far as I know “open adoption” is nothing more than a courtesy. I don’t think it is legally enforceable.   It’s not joint custody with the birth parents, there is no such thing.  B&T are Carly’s one and only parents, if they don’t want to communicate with C&T it’s not against the law.  

This is absolutely correct.  There is no way to legally enforce an open adoption - once the adoption is finalized the adoptive parents are in complete control over the amount of contact/visits that will occur.  Normally a contract is written up specifying exactly what level of contact the birth and adoptive parents agree to prior to the adoption, but it isn't legally enforceable.    The problem is that there is such a shortage of healthy, white infants that it is unlikely an adoptive parent will be chosen by a birth mom unless they agree to an open adoption (there are some birth parents who want a closed adoption, but thats more rare and they can still chose the ones willing to have an open adoption and ask them if they can close the adoption).  So you have birth parents agreeing to an open adoption since they really want a healthy white baby and know their chances of getting one are really small without agreeing to this.  Sometimes the relationship between birth and adoptive parents works, and sometimes it doesn't.

However, given the advances in DNA technology such as 23 and me, it is highly unlikely that anyone can hide the birth parent's identity permanently (unless you plan on not telling your kid they were adopted, which is a really bad plan since it denies them their familial health history and that they might still elect to use the dna technology programs anyway).  Once a child reaches the age of 18, he or she can use a dna analysis site to match with their birth relatives.  And I wouldn't want to be adoptive parents who refused to honor the agreement they made with the birth  parents unless they had really good cause (in this specific case B&T do have very good cause - they set up specific rules regarding contact, and C&T broke them over and over again). 

However, in this specific case B&T have previously received contact from C&T's insane fans who would likely be a threat if they completely close the adoption.  Plus they are undoubtably receiving a lot of pressure from the adoption agency to maintain at least some limited contact, since the agency doesn't want any negative publicity and stories of a sobbing C&T all over the media saying they were promised visits and that was why they agreed to place their child for adoption and that they would never have done that if they thought the adoption would be closed.  Until this show ends, there is a lot of pressure on B&T to maintain at least sporadic contact, no matter how much C&T whine about them on national television or rudely show up late to their visits when B&T travelled there to make them happy.  There's also a lot of speculation that when the adoption occurred, Theresa felt a lot of sympathy for Cate - she had a really rough home life and was just a kid when she gave up Carly.  But as a mother, Theresa must be pretty horrified by watching the level of care Cate is providing for the two children she is parenting.   So they are probably doing the smart thing by slowly tapering off these visits, and never officially closing the adoption.  Honestly, given the fact that these idiots can't be bothered to even send birthday presents or make a scrapbook on time, I do suspect that most of their actual interaction with Carly is camera driven to have a good storyline, and once the cameras go away they will focus on their own problems and on their own C&T will contact B&T much less frequently (I really can't imagine C&T paying to travel all the way to see B&T without MTV footing all the cost of the visit so if B&T just tell them sure come here on March 20th and we'll have a visit C&T will never get it together to show up).

Edited August 20, 2019 by kitkat343

[SuzWhat]

I hold MTV culpable for the stupid C&T fans now.   They had text on the screen something to the effect of "MTV was not allowed to record Carly".

Bentley's counseling session was (thankfully) not recorded either.  The text after that was "To protect Bentley's privacy, his session was not recorded."

They SHOULD have said "To protect Cary's privacy, she was not recorded".   Ass hats.  

[Marisagf]

13 hours ago, eskimo said:

I absolutely agree with everyone else who is completely dumbstruck that C&T willingly sacrificed any of the precious time they had with Carly to finish a scrapbook.  I think Dawn was, too.  It would have been much better to send it to her a couple weeks later with a note saying how they enjoyed their time with her.  They are two thick-headed individuals.

I found the conversation C&T had after the visit the first day to be exactly the kind of thing that would have been fine for them to discuss about the adoption all along.  It was their 'authentic' feelings, and didnt violate anybody's privacy, or slam B&T.  It's a way to show the experience of birth parents without majorly blowing what could have been a good relationship with the adoptive parents.  I'm sure they'll be back to crap-talking in no time.   

That scene was the first time in a long time I felt anything for Catelynn and Tyler.  It seemed very authentic for once.

[Marisagf]

Quick observations:

1. Why is a truck parked on Maci's lawn?  Classy! That house has so much driveway space!

2. Catelynn and Tyler's crunch wrap house doesn't look that great.  Sorry!  I think their kitchen already looks tired.  I'm not all that impressed with Tyler's design choices.  And the landscaping isn't great.  (I'm in the middle of a house renovation and I'm hyper aware of this stuff right now!)

3. What was Catelynn doing that she couldn't finish the scrapbook?  Sigh.

4. Kousyn Krystyl was definitely pregnant!  I want to know what the story is there.

[Dance4Life]

On 8/19/2019 at 9:54 AM, ginger90 said:

Did Tyler get a DNA test?????

Cate sure was gone a lot....around this pregnancy!  

All those ‘spa’ Rehabs!  Maybe Cate fell in love with a Counselor at the Center...????

When Cate was pregnant Tyler asked for a separation, too!

These two hiding a ‘cheating’ to keep a MTV paycheck??? 🤣

[politichick]

5 hours ago, kicksave said:

Sorry. Don't know how to delete the box above.

I think the idea that Brandon and Theresa feel pressured by Cate and Tyler's fans to keep in touch or continue visits or that they would make any decision regarding their child based on the idiots who worship these two fools quite laughable. Not to mention B&T probably have a publicist or some such person monitor and manage their social media accounts. 

The scenes about Mckenzie's mother are heart wrenching. I ff through most of it. I'm sure she needs the money, but still...

I'd like to think that Maci probably asked Bentley if it was okay to discuss the counseling on camera and he ok'd it and they also didn't drag it out. She probably also gave him a response to give to other students who may ask about it and in a way he's being a kind of role model because maybe some other kid will be encouraged to seek counseling for a problem or someone to help him or her work through an issue that is troubling. And maybe the kids in his school aren't allowed to watch Teen Mom OG Trash.

I'm okay with Ryder going to the shelter. They probably didn't spend a whole lot of time doing it and Cheyenne just wanted to introduce her to the idea of sharing.

I'm also okay with her calmly speaking to Taylor about the racist tweets or whatever she posted in the past. Regardless of her The Help tweet. this black mother of a black child needs to know that this white chick isn't harboring any ill thoughts. Someone said something about doesn't Cheyenne realize there's probably some Caucasian in her DNA, which is so besides the point because she identifies as a black woman, not a black woman with a bit of white.

Edited August 20, 2019 by politichick
to add something

[kicksave]

21 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

Teresa is a saint. She's on the phone trying to tell these two chucklefucks to skip the scrapbook and come visit the child they spend every season yammering about. Nope. They decide the better thing is to keep iCarly waiting so they can finish a book they had months to complete. And this book is filled with what exactly? The poetic stylings of Tyler? Cate's favorite quesadilla recipe?

Not to nit pick but it was Dawn, the adoption counselor, that called Cate up to tell her not to be late. I thought it was incredibly generous of Dawn to interrupt her weekend to drive all that way to make sure this event went smoothly but do Cate and Tyler care? Nope...the two most selfish and self absorbed twits I’ve ever seen.

[jumper sage]

7 hours ago, ghoulina said:

They really didn't want to do the zoo.

This has nothing to do with the show but I hate the zoo.  Didn't like it as a kid and didn't go as an adult.  Don't get me started on the circus.

4 hours ago, Dance4Life said:

Did Tyler get a DNA test?????

Cate sure was gone a lot....around this pregnancy!  

Carly looks exactly like Tyler.

[Dance4Life]

1 hour ago, jumper sage said:

This has nothing to do with the show but I hate the zoo.  Didn't like it as a kid and didn't go as an adult.  Don't get me started on the circus.

Carly looks exactly like Tyler.

That is Vaeda.  The little baby! 

[JocelynCavanaugh]

Krystal is definitely pregnant. When she arrived, Amber said something about letting the “pregnant lady” sit down. 

Watching Mackenzie’s mom talk about where all her cancer has spread and how long she has to live is not my idea of entertainment. It’s gut-wrenching. I’ve never lost a loved one to cancer but I know it could happen someday. I just don’t know how anyone moves on after having to watch something so cruel and senseless happen to someone they care about.

I also very much agree that Gannon’s dad did a poor job of talking to him about death. It’s hard to say someone is going to die but you need to say it. The kid doesn’t need to get weird and scary ideas about sleep and start thinking Jesus is just a road trip away or whatever. In their belief system, Jesus is in Heaven and if you’re going to see Him that means you’re dead and not coming back. It’s terrible but it’s reality. Their belief system is also supposed to offer hope that being with Jesus is far better than being here, and that you can see your loved ones again because of Him. Maybe that’s too churchy for the MTV crowd but it would’ve been nice to see them reminding him of that hope. 

Gannon seems like a kid who has a similar default personality to Bentley’s, but was not raised by an attentive parent who spoke to him like a human being and maintained structure and discipline. Hopefully the good raw material will be enough for him to grow into someday despite the way he’s being parented now. 

Speaking of Bentley, his body language was SCREAMING that he did not want to discuss his feelings or going to therapy on camera. He’s a sweet kid who loves his mom and wants to please her so he went along with it, but he looked like he wanted to crawl out of his skin. As someone said earlier, Maci usually does better and should have done better this time. I hope his visits with the counselor are worthwhile for him nonetheless. 

Catelynn and Tyler are selfish, lazy, uncouth jerks. When Catelynn looked right at the clock at 11:44 and said she could be there by noon, I wanted to beat her over the head with her tacky scrapbook. That was such an obvious lie! I can’t stand people who lie like that, just to avoid being held the slightest bit accountable. It shows such a lack of respect and consideration for others. Could she not just say “eh, I think it will be more like 12:15-12:20-ish”? Obviously just fucking respecting other people’s time and soaking up every moment with their One True Child would’ve been even better, but since that horse was already out of the barn, the least they could do was be honest. Jerks. 

Tyler talks about Carly like she’s a semi-famous person he knows and thinks is his friend. He tries to act cool but it’s obvious he thinks that knowing the famous Carly makes him a badass. He and Catelynn absolutely stalled out at adolescent-level maturity and I doubt they’ll ever change.

I know most viewers hate Amber, Farrah, Jenelle, or Kailyn more and I totally get it, but for some reason I hate Catelynn the most. She’s just so gross and unsympathetic IMHO, and one of the worst offenders when it comes to how she treats animals. (Not THE worst. Don’t yell at me!) With Amber, Jenelle, and Kailyn, I see some occasional sparks of humor or aspiration that make me root for them, and I find their struggles with anxiety more relatable. Farrah is just cartoonishly awful and it’s entertaining. I know Catelynn also deals with mental illness but the way it manifests just bugs me! I know, I’m mean. I’ll refrain from sharing my thoughts on Nova. 😬

[jumper sage]

9 hours ago, Dance4Life said:

That is Vaeda.  The little baby! 

It may be Vaeda but it is also Carly.

[suzeecat]

On ‎8‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 8:12 AM, SuzWhat said:

It is interesting that Amber gets such a sympathetic edit.  It is almost like the production is trying to set up an excuse for her outrageous behavior.

And on the other hand, the editors make a point of showing the clock and exactly when Cate started the scrapbook and how late they were.   I tell you, the editors hate her.  

I hate Amber the most so I don't understand it. 

Yeah, I don't get the kid glove treatment of Amber, yet production DOES get their jabs in - I laughed when they showed a cartoon of a sloth crying after one of her segments!

Mackenzie's mom dying is heart-wrenching.  I gave Mackenzie a little side-eye when all she could talk about was how she was going to miss her mom's HELP WITH THE KIDS.  She seemed more preoccupied with how she was feeling than what her mom was actually going through.  Maybe she could enlist the help of her bronco-bustin' husband with the kids while she takes care of mom in her last days. 

[fountain]

I don’t know why but I found it hilarious when Tyler was on his rant about them never being able to get their shit together and get anything done on time. Exactly Tyler that is what everyone wants to know too!

Doing the scrapbook last minute on tv looks bad. C&T have really dropped the ball on their side of the communication with Carly. It seems they only express interest in visits but they could be sending letters every month or couple of months. Kids love mail, my 10 year old gets cards from my mom through the mail for all holidays and we live in the same city and she loves it! 

Each day of this show gets a bit more derepressing as at first I couldn’t see what you all were saying about Nova being ignored but now with the new baby and this Carly visit I can really see it. Even if C&T regret the adoption what they should is channel all that regret into being the best parents ever for Nova and Vaeda.

[VioletNevermind]

On 8/19/2019 at 10:57 PM, Caseysgirl said:

First of all, what happened to Corey’s hair?  Secondly, what three year old understands giving shoes to people in a shelter & why does Daddy’s girl of the week have to be there?  Tyler and Caitlin have not seen Carly since the wedding?  Are they talking to her on the phone; sending her birthday presents - is it only for the camera time that they interact with her?  Amber- you aren’t that precious that everyone should have to tip toe around you. If your baby Daddy, does ALL the parenting and he’s not even allowed to joke, why should he be attacked by a machete?  I had to for through new girl’s segment-too sad!  What are Ryan & his wife even thinking? And where is her other son - he just disappeared. Bentley is much better adjusted than most little boys would be under the circumstances, both genetically and because of media attention. 

Forgive me if someone has already mentioned this in this thread, but I remember Catelynn and Tyler talking about that very subject about a year ago.  They admitted to being pretty lax about sending birthday or Christmas gifts for the past few years.  I really don't know what they expect from Brandon and Teresa (oh, sorry, the "adoptive parents," to use Catelynn's lingo) at this point.  Not that gifts should be the center of one's relationship with a child, but they're wasting so many good opportunities to strengthen their relationship with Carly and earn points with Brandon and Teresa.  It's just pure laziness.  They have no concept of what it means to play the long game.  I guess it's more important to lie around, take naps, get more tattoos, and when Catelynn's cushy life gets too hard, take off for another six weeks at inpatient therapy adult summer camp.  My only concern is for the poor kid at the center of this mess: Carly.  I have no doubt that she's well taken care of now, but what happens when she's of age and these two (and their families, ohmygod) have full access to her?

Edited August 21, 2019 by Suzy Rhapsody

[TresGatos]

23 hours ago, ginger90 said:

So if adopted kids treasure handwritten words & pic from their birth parents why haven't C & T been sending her cards and letters much less birthday and Christmas gifts? Do adopted children treasure handwritten words & pics rather than spending actual in-person time with their birth parents and bio siblings? I know if I were Carly I'd be throwing fits about having to visit these asshats. It would serve them right if Carly decided she didn't want to have any further contact with her birth creeps. 

[Pepper Mostly]

25 minutes ago, TresGatos said:

So if adopted kids treasure handwritten words & pic from their birth parents why haven't C & T been sending her cards and letters much less birthday and Christmas gifts? Do adopted children treasure handwritten words & pics rather than spending actual in-person time with their birth parents and bio siblings? I know if I were Carly I'd be throwing fits about having to visit these asshats. It would serve them right if Carly decided she didn't want to have any further contact with her birth creeps. 

YES. EXACTLY. Thanks for your insight into the minds of adopted children, Tyler. Gawd he is so self important and condescending. And anyone with less reason to be either would be hard to find. So lets see--you and Cate have totally dropped the ball with regard to cards, letters, or remembrances for holidays and birthdays for the last few years. So you wangle a visit, and manage to be rude to Carly and her parents by arriving late with your thrown-together stupid scrapbook. And that makes it all OK? You didn't write her for two years but your last minute scribblings are worthy of "treasuring"? Oh, I forgot, Tyler fancies himself a poet. The two of these mobile speed bumps are insufferable. Even the Insta pic of Nova is gushingly captioned that she's getting to see CARLY. They are horrible.

[MaggieG]

21 hours ago, Coffeewinewater said:

First, thank you. I didnt even think about that Cate brought all the scrapbook stuff with her. Lol, that doesn't even any sense. She really never thought to finish before the visit? It is crazy that almost all viewers are reacting the same way, and yet no one person in Cate's life thought to tell her being on time to the visit was way more important than a freaking scrapbook. 

So how did Tyler see Brandon comforting Carly? I thought they passed each other in the car. Not that it matters, it's just another Tyler dramatic scene. 

Seriously. I think even Dawn on the phone was trying to tell her to finish it later and send it to her because time with Carly was more important than a damn scrapbook. And Cate was all "no, no, I'm finishing it now." Why wasn't it finished a week ago, Cate????? You guys knew this visit was happening. That scene pissed me off to no end. I agree that Tyler was being dramatic. Brandon was probably comforting his daughter (yes, HIS daughter, not yours C and T) and telling her she wouldn't have to see those weirdos for a while. 

Doesn't Kousin Krystal already have 3 weirdly named kids? Didn't we also see some baby daddy drama with her last season or the season before? Why is she bringing more kids into that? Ugh

Cheyenne and Maci, blah. Ryan and Mac looked super excited (not) announcing their pregnancy.

[druzy]

If the cameras weren't there and MTV didn't facilitate (plan, pay and provide first class accommodations) the Carly visits, they would never happen. It's just Cate and Tyler's storyline. They are lazy entitled stunted, soon to be 30 year olds.

[dariafan]

They throw those parties for her birthday.. so why not send her a card ?

[druzy]

22 minutes ago, dariafan said:

They throw those parties for her birthday.. so why not send her a card ?

Because the cameras aren't there to film them driving to the store, purchasing a card, going to the post office and mailing the card.

[SuzWhat]

Do you think Andrew was really into Amber?  She seems so difficult to be around.  Everything must cater to her needs all the time.  She seems exhausting to be around for more than 2 minutes.   Some have speculated he was doing a long con to get to her money and child support.   I don't know.   It seems like he loved her?  He is the only one seen holding the baby or interacting with him.   Lest we forget, Amber was PISSED when he had that nose surgery and she had to take care of James "all night".  

[ghoulina]

23 hours ago, Marisagf said:

4. Kousyn Krystyl was definitely pregnant!  I want to know what the story is there.

Thank you for validating my nosiness! Kousin Krystal intrigues me. I kind of liked when they randomly focused on her and her baby daddy drama a few seasons ago. Get ride of Amber and bring her on! 

20 hours ago, politichick said:

I'm okay with Ryder going to the shelter. They probably didn't spend a whole lot of time doing it and Cheyenne just wanted to introduce her to the idea of sharing.

I totally am too. It was way more appropriate than dragging her around a winery. I just thought it was kind of silly when she pontificated how Ryder is now old enough to understand about "giving back" and all this. It's fine to instill certain values young, but that baby didn't know what they were doing. 

5 hours ago, MaggieG said:

Seriously. I think even Dawn on the phone was trying to tell her to finish it later and send it to her because time with Carly was more important than a damn scrapbook. And Cate was all "no, no, I'm finishing it now."

Dawn was most definitely trying to steer Cate towards finishing it later. You could tell she was getting a bit irritated but trying to "keep sweet". 

Someone else mentioned using pics FROM this trip to finish the scrapbook, which would have been perfect. But Cate and Ty are all about instant gratification. They needed that ego stroke from seeing Carly open the gift right in front of them. A better gift, but opened at home, would not cut it for them. 

[ginger90]

Article and video, also the reunion part 1 is September 2nd.

http://www.mtv.com/news/3134069/catelynn-tyler-carly-visit-teen-mom-og/

[jumper sage]

9 hours ago, fountain said:

Kids love mail,

OMG yes!  I see my little grand nieces/nephews all the time but I still send their cards in the mail.  As they get older I will do a picture story about my job, my neighborhood etc.  My eldest grandniece is turning 11 and wants a nice storage box for her momentos.  I will add personalized stationary, colored pens etc.

8 hours ago, TresGatos said:

So if adopted kids treasure handwritten words & pic from their birth parents why haven't C & T been sending her cards and letters much less birthday and Christmas gifts? Do adopted children treasure handwritten words & pics rather than spending actual in-person time with their birth parents and bio siblings? I know if I were Carly I'd be throwing fits about having to visit these asshats. It would serve them right if Carly decided she didn't want to have any further contact with her birth creeps. 

If you have never lost a child through adoption or by their parent stealing them and going into hiding then you have no idea what the other parent/child is going through.  Carly will want to see them as she turns into an adult and can gage the relationship on her terms.  It seems like Carly's adoptive parents are very religious and structured.  Not everyone can thrive in that environment. The juxtaposition between the two families is interesting.  My only advice would be to embrace Carly's brother too.  Siblings shouldn't have to choose.

[starfire]

I wonder how often B&T&their son see his birthparents, if ever. If I remember correctly, they were introduced to their son's birthmother  via Catelynn.

[SimonSeymour]

12 hours ago, TresGatos said:

So if adopted kids treasure handwritten words & pic from their birth parents why haven't C & T been sending her cards and letters much less birthday and Christmas gifts? Do adopted children treasure handwritten words & pics rather than spending actual in-person time with their birth parents and bio siblings? I know if I were Carly I'd be throwing fits about having to visit these asshats. It would serve them right if Carly decided she didn't want to have any further contact with her birth creeps. 

I’m adopted, and when I was 10, I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t have wanted either. I think it would have been confusing to me, and maybe a little scary? Like they were trying to take me back or something. 

[FairyDusted]

O.K. admittedly I haven't watched the episode yet cuz....Below Deck BUT......Tyler and Cate did a scrapbook way back for Carley. IIRC , they gave it to her on the first visit.  They couldn't even come up with an original gift. 

Back to lurking....

[ChocolateAddict]

I just find it such an odd present. Like, the original scrapbook was about C&T growing up, their families and pregnancy. It was meant to provide Carly with info about her bio parents and why they chose adoption. Since she wouldn't have those pictures otherwise, it makes sense and helps to explain her story. 

This one is just odd cause it's basically 'our lives without you' with pictures of NotCarly 1 and 2. Letters I understand because Carly can have stories from them in their own words but pictures of her biological parents and siblings living without her? Just feels like they couldn't come up with any new ideas so they recycled their original present.  Only without any real effort or thought or time management. 

[dariafan]

11 hours ago, FairyDusted said:

O.K. admittedly I haven't watched the episode yet cuz....Below Deck BUT......Tyler and Cate did a scrapbook way back for Carley. IIRC , they gave it to her on the first visit.  They couldn't even come up with an original gift. 

Back to lurking....

Well they are narcissistic twats 

[Snarky McSnarky]

6 hours ago, dariafan said:

Well they are narcissistic twats 

Yea, the only gift these two self-involved idiots can come up with is a photo album of themselves.  What else would a ten year old girl possibly want from a couple of strangers?

[Inga]

I’m very curious to know what Tyler says to Carly if they are ever alone. Like “you I’m your real dad, right? Not Brandon”

[geauxaway]

On 8/22/2019 at 3:21 PM, Snarky McSnarky said:

Yea, the only gift these two self-involved idiots can come up with is a photo album of themselves.  What else would a ten year old girl possibly want from a couple of strangers?

Yes!!!  Like tone deaf, much???  My son received a birthday card from his uterus (bio mom) this year.  He is 11 and has been with me since he was 8.  He has not seen her but 1 time in 4 years, but now that she is out of prison she has tried to contact us.  This card came via DSS, because there is really no such thing as open adoption.  I gave it to him, read it to him (because yes at 11 years of age he still cannot read, thanks uterus).   His reaction?  Who?  Oh really!  Why?  I said because she loves you.  Then it was yah OK, what’s for supper.  I gave him the gift card she sent and told him this is from (her name) and you can’t spend it on whatever you want to.  IDGAF if you want to spend this $20 to Walmart on candy, it is your money from (her name).  His response OK cool.

I go back and forth on how to deal with her, I did send pics with when he did his goodbye visit with her.  The only thing that kills me is every single time she has communicated with me it starts off with “thank you for taking care of him.”  And that is just insulting to me.  I’m not his fucking babysitter!  But it’s not her fault she is 36 years old and about as mentally capable as a 16 year old like C & T.

TL/DR. 

[geauxaway]

On 8/21/2019 at 9:37 PM, SimonSeymour said:

I’m adopted, and when I was 10, I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t have wanted either. I think it would have been confusing to me, and maybe a little scary? Like they were trying to take me back or something. 

THANK YOU!!!!  Like tween Carly doesn’t have enough to deal with.  You know who your parents are.  

[geauxaway]

On 8/21/2019 at 11:03 AM, SuzWhat said:

Do you think Andrew was really into Amber?  She seems so difficult to be around.  Everything must cater to her needs all the time.  She seems exhausting to be around for more than 2 minutes.   Some have speculated he was doing a long con to get to her money and child support.   I don't know.   It seems like he loved her?  He is the only one seen holding the baby or interacting with him.   Lest we forget, Amber was PISSED when he had that nose surgery and she had to take care of James "all night".  

A long con to get ahold of her $100k’s of earning?  She no millionaire, no matter what she would let the non industry people to believe.  She paid cash for that house, that had to have depleted a good portion of her cash assets.  She has a tax lien on her as far as I know.  This girl has nothing!  Right now she is sleeping in a hotel.  That is not cheap.  And y’all know she is ordering food up 3 x day.

[CandysWrapRoom]

On 8/20/2019 at 9:48 AM, ghoulina said:

I know; I shouldn't expect much from a dude who's likely been kicked in the head by a bovine a dozen times. 

Welp, this is pretty much the perfect sentence to describe this entire franchise.

[Darknight]

On 8/20/2019 at 10:58 AM, ginger90 said:

They have no jobs and couldn't do this beforehand. These two are selfish and don't need to see Carly when they treat her like this.

[Dmarie019]

On 8/19/2019 at 9:03 PM, Maire said:

Not to take Amber’s because she is pretty awful BUT whenever she tells Andrew what’s bothering her he has to pontificate and re-explain it. He’s not mirroring or restating he’s giving his amateurish opinion. Just say I hear you, I get it. This may not help in Amber’s situation but it would bug the shit out of me.

Some people just cant help it.  I used to be a 'fixer' but now I have a friend that does it on EVERYTHING and it's so freaking frustrating. So I am fairly aware that I shouldn't do that. I have to be really careful what I say to her because 90% of the time I'm going to get an unwanted opinion.  And it might not even be about what I'm talking about. One time I even said something.. saw her getting ready to comment back and quickly said "And i'm not asking for your opinion, i'm just venting!"  and she said "oh i wasn't! I would never..."  yeaaaaaaaaaaa right. you can't help yourself. 

On 8/21/2019 at 9:53 PM, FairyDusted said:

O.K. admittedly I haven't watched the episode yet cuz....Below Deck BUT......Tyler and Cate did a scrapbook way back for Carley. IIRC , they gave it to her on the first visit.  They couldn't even come up with an original gift. 

Back to lurking....

That was their whole reasoning... so she would have an updated version. I mean it's not a bad gift, it has some thought into it WHEN done properly.  They could have done a nice online one through Shutterfly and it would have looked 100% better. And they're not that hard! 

[blubld43]

On 8/25/2019 at 1:18 AM, Darknight said:

They have no jobs and couldn't do this beforehand. These two are selfish and don't need to see Carly when they treat her like this.

 "Play with her sisters", I really hope they don't use that term with Nova and Vaeda. Those girls will spend their childhood worrying that mama and daddy might give them away too. 

I only say this as something a child might think, with constant references to a "sister" who for some reason was "given away".

[Snarky McSnarky]

"Carly didn't care about the time on the clock."  Yea, well what about Carly's parents who came all the way to Michigan and managed to be on time, you selfish a-holes?  Were they supposed to just sit around at the zoo with their thumbs up their asses until you decided to make your grand appearance?  I hope this was the final visit.

[dariafan]

1 minute ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

"Carly didn't care about the time on the clock."  Yea, well what about Carly's parents who came all the way to Michigan and managed to be on time, you selfish a-holes?  Were they supposed to just sit around at the zoo with their thumbs up their asses until you decided to make your grand appearance?  I hope this was the final visit.

Just because you two don’t care, doesn’t mean no one else does.   Ass hats.   Ohhh. New passion project for Tyler to sink money in ....

[Snarky McSnarky]

2 minutes ago, dariafan said:

Just because you two don’t care, doesn’t mean no one else does.   Ass hats.   Ohhh. New passion project for Tyler to sink money in ....

Tierra Reign Ass Hats.  You've got something there!