Benjamin & Akinyi: Come On Down! You're the Next Contestant on "The (Bride)Price is Right!"

[HunterHunted]

1 hour ago, AZChristian said:

I tracked down the church Ben attends in Phoenix, and looked at their Facebook page.  Given your statistics (which are accurate), I was surprised to see the almost-equal racial configuration of blacks and whites in their large church. 

I think the reason he had to go to South Africa Kenya for a wife is that the women at his church in Phoenix know him too well, and they have standards which he doesn't meet.

The bolded has always been my reading of Ben. Most of the women in his wider social circle have figured out his issues/deficits so his name is mud.

[Zevious Zoquis]

Anyone else get a kick out of Ben's eyebrows?  It's like he has a couple caterpillars squirming around up there!  lol...

[Chalby]

On 9/30/2019 at 9:59 AM, HunterHunted said:

I don't think he'll admit it, but I think he has a fetish for Black women. 

You read my mind, except I would just end with the word 'fetish'. I find that Ben and the other socially awkward participants (Paul, Tim, Tarik, Cesar, Courtney, Molly, and the really old guy with the young girl) are pursuing partners overseas because it costs a lot less, and they can fulfill whatever 'fetish' they may desire. (Come to think of it, it's hard to name a participant who is in this process for the right reasons. I remember the sexual gifts Paul brought over which were more plentiful than Cesar's chocolate panties. Gross!!!) I admit I occasionally feel guilty for encouraging this type of behaviour via my viewing habits.

[Chalby]

On 10/14/2019 at 8:25 AM, AZChristian said:

So whatever TLC is kicking in COUNTS toward that amount.  When you look at it that way, it's more understandable how these minimum-wage-earning Americans are able to "sponsor" a spouse.

Oh, I always wondered how Danielle managed to bring someone in.

[Chalby]

On 10/19/2019 at 8:14 PM, Frozendiva said:

It is like the shopping channel's easy pay system where you pay X amount per month to own the item or is it layaway - no Akini til the price is paid.

At 26 she is past the "best before date" so Ben should get a great discount.

[Chalby]

17 hours ago, RealReality said:

There are a lot of good, single, black christian women out there in the US.  In his age range.  So many want a loyal man with Christian values. 

Yes, but those good, single women want a Christian man who is 'normal' - not some unattractive, poor, single dad who tries to buy a woman from Africa because he can no longer afford the $$ to 'date' any local exotic beauties.

[HunterHunted]

57 minutes ago, Chalby said:

You read my mind, except I would just end with the word 'fetish'. I find that Ben and the other socially awkward participants (Paul, Tim, Tarik, Cesar, Courtney, Molly, and the really old guy with the young girl) are pursuing partners overseas because it costs a lot less, and they can fulfill whatever 'fetish' they may desire. (Come to think of it, it's hard to name a participant who is in this process for the right reasons. I remember the sexual gifts Paul brought over which were more plentiful than Cesar's chocolate panties. Gross!!!) I admit I occasionally feel guilty for encouraging this type of behaviour via my viewing habits.

The financial and power differentials has always been a huge part of the show. It's very clear that a lot of the Americans are getting off on flexing their power to keep their foreign partner in line. This has been abundantly clear with Angela and Michael.

There are some really interesting pieces where mail order brides talk about this dynamic.

https://www.wired.com/2017/03/how-the-internet-gave-mail-order-brides-the-power/

https://www.glamour.com/story/yes-this-woman-is-a-mail-order-bride

If you liked Love Me, you'll like "Diary of a...Mail Order Bride." Like 90 Days, there are individuals who run the gamut of what we've seen on the show. There is a guy who is a complete horror show. 

[Desert Rat]

23 hours ago, RealReality said:

True, but he could have an easier time finding a woman in the US with a job skill set that would move than trying to get an obnoxious woman from another country.....IMO.  

If he is willing to look to another continent.....why not try the US first?

Because U.S. women have standards, at least those with job skills do. It would be tough to find a US woman willing to support his sorry ass. Bikini is no prize, but I can't see Ben doing any better.

[Boston]

Quote

After watching this show twice.. I don't know how Benjamin couldn't have skid marks in his drawers.. what a shake-down!

[RealReality]

14 hours ago, Desert Rat said:

Because U.S. women have standards, at least those with job skills do. It would be tough to find a US woman willing to support his sorry ass. Bikini is no prize, but I can't see Ben doing any better.

In my experience, christian women who are single mothers and a little older have a hard time finding someone who shares their committment to their faith.  

People who are more devout than I am should weigh in because my knowledge is second hand.  But I've heard that church is a great place for men to meet single women because their are so few men.

Ben is a dork, but he seems pretty committed to trying to adhere to christian ideals.  He is poor as heck, but maybe that improves once he graduates?  Does he have a job now or.is he a full to student?  

[magemaud]

Ben works in some kind of telephone customer service or technical support capacity, but I forget for what product or service. 

[Boston]

1 hour ago, magemaud said:

Ben works in some kind of telephone customer service or technical support capacity, but I forget for what product or service. 

this is all BEN needs...

[AZChristian]

9 hours ago, RealReality said:

People who are more devout than I am should weigh in because my knowledge is second hand.  But I've heard that church is a great place for men to meet single women because their are so few men.

There do tend to be fewer single men than single women in conservative churches.  Unfortunately, it's been my observation that, sometimes, smart con men go to church to meet trusting, gullible, sometimes-desperate women.  

[blubld43]

6 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

There do tend to be fewer single men than single women in conservative churches.  Unfortunately, it's been my observation that, sometimes, smart con men go to church to meet trusting, gullible, sometimes-desperate women.  

I've seen a couple of marriages in very conservative churches that raised my inner eyebrows. Both times it was relatively handsome men marrying uh, lesser attractive women who shared their very particular beliefs.  That was what formed the basis of their relationship and as far as I know they're as happy as anyone.

We really don't know if he tried to date locally, that would be interesting to know.

[RealReality]

2 hours ago, AZChristian said:

There do tend to be fewer single men than single women in conservative churches.  Unfortunately, it's been my observation that, sometimes, smart con men go to church to meet trusting, gullible, sometimes-desperate women.  

This is what I've heard as well....and why I thought Ben might have a better chance because he is a dork, but I don't think he is a con......I think he really do have those ideals.  

[HunterHunted]

2 hours ago, blubld43 said:

We really don't know if he tried to date locally, that would be interesting to know.

We do know that he tried to date locally because he said so in his introduction.

[AZChristian]

1 hour ago, RealReality said:

This is what I've heard as well....and why I thought Ben might have a better chance because he is a dork, but I don't think he is a con......I think he really do have those ideals.  

I don't think he's a con man, either.  I was just commenting on my observation that - sometimes - con men DO go to churches to find gullible women.

[doyouevengohere]

Ben can't get a date at church or anywhere else b/c he doesn't bring much to the table.  Yes, he has faith and seems to uphold that, but he is also divorced with a child (that does matter in conservative circles), doesn't seem very confident, is as poor as a church mouse with no plan to really change that, had his car repoed , etc....  while I do think he could find someone stateside and within a church that would be compatible to him- he would have to be willing to work on himself.  He's young enough that the woman he would find would also be young and want her own family .....if he can't or is unwilling to support children that he's made- that is a BIG turnoff among Christian single ladies. For single Christian mothers, if they had or have a bad experience with their own ex not supporting their child, I think they would be horrified to jump into a relationship with a guy that does the same even if he does share their faith. I think even if he just got some confidence or worked out and felt better about himself, it would attract more suitable women to him.  But, I get the feeling he's not that willing to better himself- what you see is what you get or he considers contemplating reality about a mate is worldly.  Before he was online looking for dates in his area or overseas, he should have at least been able to live on his own and pay his bills.  Sure he says he's in school for ministry, but where is that going to get him?  If he is divorced and not supporting his child, that is not going to look great if he's going to try to become a pastor.

Edited November 3, 2019 by doyouevengohere

[MajorNelson]

And now...Akinyi has revealed she has been with a woman before.  Ben doesn't know quite yet, but he will after this.

https://www.tvseasonspoilers.com/reality-tv/90-day-fiance-akinyi-has-been-with-a-woman-before-and-havent-told-benjamin-yet-21334/

[Gobi]

19 minutes ago, MajorNelson said:

And now...Akinyi has revealed she has been with a woman before.  Ben doesn't know quite yet, but he will after this.

https://www.tvseasonspoilers.com/reality-tv/90-day-fiance-akinyi-has-been-with-a-woman-before-and-havent-told-benjamin-yet-21334/

Was it Rebecca?

[Cherrio]

10 minutes ago, Gobi said:

Was it Rebecca?

Bahaaaaaaaaa      Good one !

I hope she tells him while she is enjoying a margarita. 

[Bryce Lynch]

On 11/1/2019 at 11:54 AM, HunterHunted said:

The bolded has always been my reading of Ben. Most of the women in his wider social circle have figured out his issues/deficits so his name is mud.

I'm not so sure about that.  He is a pudgy guy with a receding hairline, yellow teeth, a small bank account and a less than scintillating personality.  There don't necessarily have to be any serious, known character flaws to keep him from being a chick magnet.  

That is not to say there couldn't be some serious issues.  But, just based upon more superficial factors, it wouldn't shock me that Ben has trouble finding women.  

47 minutes ago, Gobi said:

Was it Rebecca?

ROTFL!  Best post of the season!  I am so much dead.  

[Bryce Lynch]

1 hour ago, MajorNelson said:

And now...Akinyi has revealed she has been with a woman before.  Ben doesn't know quite yet, but he will after this.

https://www.tvseasonspoilers.com/reality-tv/90-day-fiance-akinyi-has-been-with-a-woman-before-and-havent-told-benjamin-yet-21334/

I think that should get him a deep discount on the bride price.  According to a formula I saw online, the standard bride price is divided by 1 plus  the number of sexual partners the woman has had.  I would imagine a female partner would count for at least 10 male partners. 

[blubld43]

I can't see Ben being okay with this, even if he'd been told in a calm, mature fashion rather than this blindside -him-on-social-media tactic. Smh.

[Rt66vintage]

On 11/3/2019 at 10:08 AM, HunterHunted said:

We do know that he tried to date locally because he said so in his introduction.

One thing true about Ben, he's not putting on any kind of act - he's simply naturally creepy as they come. It seems he has an arrested development of a 12-14 year-old with his giggling and fantasy-like thinking about women.

I'm sure the women in Phoenix & at his church have had strange personal interactions with him; I'm sure he's hit on anything in a skirt (figuratively & literally). He's a complete turn off.

He'd do best finding a simple minded "old maid" type who's not exactly "hot", but has been dreaming of a faithful companion & a family to care for and call her own. Poor dweeb, I wish him well, but Akini ain't it.

[doyouevengohere]

If she was with a woman I feel  it was some scheme cooked up by her father and Fidel and she was the sexual bait.  So, that's sad.

[Bryce Lynch]

14 hours ago, blubld43 said:

I can't see Ben being okay with this, even if he'd been told in a calm, mature fashion rather than this blindside -him-on-social-media tactic. Smh.

I could see Ben accepting this out of a combination of Christian forgiveness and the desperate fear of loneliness that motivated him to travel across the globe to marry Bikini in the first place.

Christian forgiveness will be the rationale.  Desperation will be the reason.   

In fairness, a Christian man or woman would be inclined to forgive all the past sins of their spouse, if they have turned from them.   

[Bryce Lynch]

13 hours ago, Rt66vintage said:

One thing true about Ben, he's not putting on any kind of act - he's simply naturally creepy as they come. It seems he has an arrested development of a 12-14 year-old with his giggling and fantasy-like thinking about women.

I'm sure the women in Phoenix & at his church have had strange personal interactions with him; I'm sure he's hit on anything in a skirt (figuratively & literally). He's a complete turn off.

He'd do best finding a simple minded "old maid" type who's not exactly "hot", but has been dreaming of a faithful companion & a family to care for and call her own. Poor dweeb, I wish him well, but Akini ain't it.

I agree that Ben is probably awkward with women, but I tend to doubt he hits on everything in a skirt.  I am guessing he is the opposite, and is shy around women.  That could be why he felt more comfortable meeting a women for the other side of the world, over the internet.  

[RealReality]

17 hours ago, MajorNelson said:

And now...Akinyi has revealed she has been with a woman before.  Ben doesn't know quite yet, but he will after this.

https://www.tvseasonspoilers.com/reality-tv/90-day-fiance-akinyi-has-been-with-a-woman-before-and-havent-told-benjamin-yet-21334/

So...akyini is all about being traditional and strictly adheres to custom.....when it comes to the bride price and buying her family gifts and prizes.......but is willing to be nontraditional when it comes to her relationships and behavior.  

Interesting.  

Anyways, I wonder if her family knows/knew.  Her dad is a minister in a traditional patriarchal society.  Apparently the "village" is super involved and he, as a local minister, I think would be a village elder.  

I think it would affect their familial reputation and position....in such a society.....to find out that one of the children acted on an attraction to someone from the same sex.  I mean zied, who comes from a conservative patriarchal society doesn't even want his parents to know his fiance was EVER with a woman.

[Jeanne222]

18 hours ago, MajorNelson said:

And now...Akinyi has revealed she has been with a woman before.  Ben doesn't know quite yet, but he will after this.

https://www.tvseasonspoilers.com/reality-tv/90-day-fiance-akinyi-has-been-with-a-woman-before-and-havent-told-benjamin-yet-21334/

I suspect Akinyi has more secrets yet to be revealed!

Dad and brother knew she'd be a hard one to sell locally.  Along comes Ben but the jokes on them!!!

Bens poorer than a church mouse!  Lol

[Gobi]

1 minute ago, Jeanne222 said:

I suspect Akinyi has more secrets yet to be revealed!

Dad and brother knew she'd be a hard one to sell locally.  Along comes Ben but the jokes on them!!!

Bens poorer than a church mouse!  Lol

Ben is a church mouse.

[Persnickety1]

19 hours ago, MajorNelson said:

And now...Akinyi has revealed she has been with a woman before.  Ben doesn't know quite yet, but he will after this.

https://www.tvseasonspoilers.com/reality-tv/90-day-fiance-akinyi-has-been-with-a-woman-before-and-havent-told-benjamin-yet-21334/

*cue circus music* 

Ladies and gents, step right up and watch as the participants create and plant stories of great drama in an effort to be invited back to the TLC Trough of Shame for another shot at fame and fortune!  Watch them sell their last remaining shred of self-respect for another few thousand dollars!  

90DF is such a freak show...but I'll be watching every episode!  😄 

[MajorNelson]

37 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

plant stories of great drama in an effort to be invited back to the TLC Trough of Shame

When I think about it, I don't want them back if it's just she is stuck in Africa.  The decent/crazy storylines are her harsh family vs Gentle Ben, and Ben's ongoing discovery of his wife's craaazzeeee libertine ways.

[Persnickety1]

1 hour ago, MajorNelson said:

When I think about it, I don't want them back if it's just she is stuck in Africa.  The decent/crazy storylines are her harsh family vs Gentle Ben, and Ben's ongoing discovery of his wife's craaazzeeee libertine ways.

Yeah, I've little to no interest in watching Benjy's financial struggles to get Akinyi to America and more references to "the cookie jar."   

In fact, I really don't care to see any of this season's participants back to follow their "journeys."  I didn't find any of their stories interesting enough to merit a second go round.

(Which probably means TLC will try to bring back ALL of couples, and my dumb ass will be sitting here watching them and bitching the entire time 😄) .  

[RealReality]

2 hours ago, MajorNelson said:

When I think about it, I don't want them back if it's just she is stuck in Africa.  The decent/crazy storylines are her harsh family vs Gentle Ben, and Ben's ongoing discovery of his wife's craaazzeeee libertine ways.

Agreed ...if there is any American drama to harvest it will be in akyini acting out as soon as she gets here.  I don't care fir her, but THAT'S where the drama is. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

5 hours ago, doyouevengohere said:

If she was with a woman I feel  it was some scheme cooked up by her father and Fidel and she was the sexual bait.  So, that's sad.

Or she has been hanging about with Rebecca!!  Maybe Rebecca is the other woman!!!!

[gingerella]

Eh, I think it's bullshit, just cooked up to keep her on the front burner and try to extend her 15 minutes...

ETA: I love the tag line "Benjamin doesn't know it yet..." Well he sure as shit does now...!

Edited November 8, 2019 by gingerella

[magemaud]

Guess there were Girl Scout Cookies in the cookie jar? 

[Chalby]

On 11/3/2019 at 5:15 AM, AZChristian said:

There do tend to be fewer single men than single women in conservative churches.  Unfortunately, it's been my observation that, sometimes, smart con men go to church to meet trusting, gullible, sometimes-desperate women.  

Yes! I remember reading articles in a Social Work class re: domestic disturbances and I was surprised at the number of relationships that began after meeting at church. Especially single, older men who are finishing prison sentences. But it makes sense, because where else are they going to find a good woman who both accepts their limited finances and understands their need for a second chance. I bet online Christian dating sites have a lot of men and women signing on looking to scam partners. 

[AZChristian]

6 hours ago, Chalby said:

I bet online Christian dating sites have a lot of men and women signing on looking to scam partners. 

Take that to the bank.  Between those advertising for people over 50 and Christian sites, it's easy pickings.

[magemaud]

On 11/3/2019 at 11:08 AM, HunterHunted said:

On 11/3/2019 at 8:26 AM, blubld43 said:

We really don't know if he tried to date locally, that would be interesting to know.

We do know that he tried to date locally because he said so in his introduction.

Don't forget, a date stood him up at the CRACKER BARREL! 

[RealReality]

10 hours ago, magemaud said:

Don't forget, a date stood him up at the CRACKER BARREL! 

I've heard the cracker barrel has a..... complicated track record when it comes to serving people of color so maybe that's why she didn't want to go?

[Joan of Argh]

Ben's ex was answering questions on IG earlier and hinted that Ben will be back on 90D for another season.

[Christina]

Did anybody notice Akinyi was missing from social media? Me either. She posted to let everyone know she is back. I actually had this saved in another tab because I had a comment about it, but I don't remember what it was now. I'm trying to get rid off all the tabs.

Ben also did a Q&A which is compiled here.

[Neurochick]

On 9/30/2019 at 12:59 PM, HunterHunted said:

I don't think he'll admit it, but I think he has a fetish for Black women. An American woman is much more likely to clock it than Akinyi might be. And since he has not really displayed much interest in Akinyi's Kenyan culture, I suspect he might be the kind of the same with an African American woman.

I think it’s possible for a white man to fall in love with a black woman.  We’re not unlovable.

[Teri313]

6 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I think it’s possible for a white man to fall in love with a black woman.  We’re not unlovable.

I agree. I think Ben is simply attracted to black women. I don't understand what he's done or said that would make dating/marrying a black woman a fetish.

Edited November 11, 2019 by Teri313
Typo

[Mrs. Hanson]

4 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I think it’s possible for a white man to fall in love with a black woman.  We’re not unlovable.

I am 100% Caucasian and I get really uncomfortable when people discuss dating outside your race as a "fetish."  Ya like what you like!  Does not mean it is a fetish.  

[RealReality]

8 hours ago, Christina said:

Did anybody notice Akinyi was missing from social media? Me either. She posted to let everyone know she is back. I actually had this saved in another tab because I had a comment about it, but I don't remember what it was now. I'm trying to get rid off all the tabs.

Ben also did a Q&A which is compiled here.

Oh boy, is he one of those guys who goes door to door asking if I'm interested in solar panels?  That does not sound like a stable job and I think some of those companies are scammy.  

[MajorNelson]

I think they showed him at a call center early in the season.  And yes many pitches are scammy, and CA people found out they can't power their own houses if the utility cuts the power.

[Persnickety1]

1 hour ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I am 100% Caucasian and I get really uncomfortable when people discuss dating outside your race as a "fetish."  Ya like what you like!  Does not mean it is a fetish.  

I once was having a conversation about different religions with an Episcopal priest and why people were drawn to certain religions.

He summed it up with, "It's like ice cream, everyone has their favorite flavor.  They may not be able to describe why, but that's the flavor they seek out."

I think his statement applies nicely to your point as well.   

As you said, we like what we like.  We all have our own favorite "flavors" in many aspects of life.  That's one of the things what makes us all so interesting.