S02.E11: She Has To Go

[Drogo]

Megan's last-minute visit shakes Michael when his mom objects. Brittany's party turns left when her ex arrives & she's forced to reveal her secret. Scott's big surprise for Lizzie. Caitlin's devastating news. Clint's shocking phone call from Tracie.

[eatsleep]

Omg Scott's new teeth 8-O

And how did Michael fall out of love w Megan so fast? 

Edited February 16, 2019 by eatsleep

[Kangatush]

Matt is actually being a decent human being.  And I think Sparkles is a dumb name for a dog.

[PityFree]

 I have never seen anything more ridiculous than the neon glowing white Chiclets Scott had glued to the front third of his mouth.  Apparently, he didn’t have enough money to get anything past his eyeteeth fixed. 

 Also what kind of a moron buys a car for a woman who doesn’t have a drivers license because she had eight DUIs. 8!!! I can’t even imagine what her car insurance will cost  with that kind of record if she ever even gets her license back. If I were in charge I would never ever ever give her a license; eight DUIs is way too many.

 I can’t even comment on the rest of the show yet.  Scott and Lizzie have broken my brain.

[HorrrGoodnight]

Lizzie and her daughter should be going to family therapy instead of shopping for "more classier" wedding gowns. 

[PityFree]

 Also I couldn’t get over the gall of Tracy not wanting to talk about where she left the $20K+ car.  Bitch, do you have an extra $20k???  I think part of the reason she doesn’t want to talk about where she left the car is that she doesn’t remember.

[HorrrGoodnight]

I guess I'm one of those persnickety cheese people (shout out to Sargento) because when Grandma told Sarah to give Avianna "some cheese" and Sarah whipped out that Kraft Single I just about died and might have even said out loud "That is NOT cheese!" 

[PityFree]

 Also doesn’t anyone on this show using birth control???? 

[cooksdelight]

Scott will maybe one day look back on all of this and realize what a fool he was.

No.... probably ain’t going to happen.

I hope Tracie rots in jail. Not telling Clint where the car is means she has no idea, or it’s in impound. The quicker he gets it back to the rental company, the less money he’ll have to pay. But oh, no, he’s only worried about whether she still loves him or not.

None of these people care about birth control. That’s why there is such a huge population of children of convicts in this country.

[HorrrGoodnight]

Clint is dumb as a doorknob. 

You have a collect call from an inmate at....

Clint: Baby where are you????

[hookedontv]

I haven’t finished watching yet but....

I cannot stand the way Lizzie talks. It’s a weird combo of a valley girl and teenager and an idiot. Everything is SUPER CUTE. The wedding dress is super cuuuute, the car is suuuper cuuuute. Ugh! More later. 

[Hannah94]

Just now, hookedontv said:

I haven’t finished watching yet but....

I cannot stand the way Lizzie talks. It’s a weird combo of a valley girl and teenager and an idiot. Everything is SUPER CUTE. The wedding dress is super cuuuute, the car is suuuper cuuuute. Ugh! More later. 

She truly believes she is a suuuper cute petite young delicate little girl. Delusional. Does she not own a mirror?

[millennium]

Marcellino: "A woman can't compete with a man in a real relationship" -- as the camera zooms in on the bratwurst being removed from the grill.

Subtle.

[Reality police]

27 minutes ago, PityFree said:

 Also I couldn’t get over the gall of Tracy not wanting to talk about where she left the $20K+ car.  Bitch, do you have an extra $20k???  I think part of the reason she doesn’t want to talk about where she left the car is that she doesn’t remember.

That pissed me off so much. No concern at all.

[hookedontv]

Wow, Caitlin’s mom was only 61 when she passed. That’s young. And that’s some hard living (sorry, I had to say it.) 

[HorrrGoodnight]

1 hour ago, eatsleep said:

Omg Scott's new teeth 8-O

And how did Michael fall out of love w Megan so fast? 

When Scott said the teeth weren't permanent and the dentist just did it "real quick" I just imagine he better enjoy looking like 😬 before the polident wears off. 

Michael doesn't know WTF he wants. He got Megan's (alleged) V card and now he's getting bored, but he was already bored with Sarah sooo I guess it all boils down to who's putting more money on his books when he gets locked up next week. 

Who thinks he'll get arrested for real? I think previews showing the obvious are never as they seem. 

[Marsupial]

Quote

Marcellino: "A woman can't compete with a man in a real relationship" -- as the camera zooms in on the bratwurst being removed from the grill. Subtle

As we have previously established, the camera crew on this show is regularly forced to preserve its sanity in any way possible.

On Lizzie and the car, I'm pretty sure she said her license was revoked, which means, better learn to ride a bike because your ass is never going to ride anything motorized up and to and including a riding lawn mower. 

[millennium]

16 minutes ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

When Scott said the teeth weren't permanent and the dentist just did it "real quick" I just imagine he better enjoy looking like 😬 before the polident wears off. 

I figured the dentist just trimmed the plastic tips off the fangs.

Now Brittany's a drama queen.   She knows Marcellino is a judgmental asshole, but I guess she's the only one who can say it.  

Was that the Cryptkeeper in Marcellino's entourage?

And who was the young, attractive girl at the party?    It was like "One of These Doesn't Belong."

It's funny, but Tracie's "Clint" tattoo looks like it spells something else.   

Speaking of Tracie, I LOL'ed when I saw her all shackled up for the on-camera interview.   What do they think she's going to do?   All that was missing was the Hannibal Lecter hockey mask.

It's probably an unpopular opinion but I feel bad for Caitlin.   Not because her mother died but because she was raised by a drug addict and is now in love with a drug addict.  Her existence seems so dismal and hopeless.   Why does life pull shit like that on people?

[heatherchandler]

[cooksdelight]

1 hour ago, millennium said:

It's funny, but Tracie's "Clint" tattoo looks like it spells something else.   

That’s exactly what I thought!

[Marsupial]

To those of you who doubted my sanity in rooting for Tracie and Clint, can I just say, they got matching tattoos!!! And hers, which may or may not actually spell "Clint," is on her RING finger. I think I stand vindicated.

I LOVE Caitlin and Matt's little cottage in the woods. How is it that deadbeats and ex-cons can afford more nice things than me? And for the first time I actually liked Matt tonight, too. 

[Hannah94]

Michael thinks he is Flava Flav.

[Hellohappylife]

I can’t even snark on Caitlin after tonight’s episode. I wanted to climb thru the tv & give her a hug. My mom passed away when I was 21 in her sleep at only 43 years old from a brain aneurysm. Monday will mark 5 years since her death. I hope caitlin seeks some kind of therapy,having your parent die like that can really fuck You up. 

Lizzie/ Scott- Just another episode of scott show casing to the world what a fool he is.  

I live a few minutes away from them & I really wish they would name the dentist that did that work so I can stay far away from his office. 

Britney/Marcelino - Such a horrible idea to invite ex’s to parties that include alcohol,there is bound to be some drama once the alcohol kicks in. 

 Marcelino- did he have an ex that left him for a girl or something? Because he sure likes to make hateful comments every chance he gets about how 2 women can’t be sexually  satisfied. 

I seriously don’t know how Michael’s mom lives with herself and can sit hanging out with Sarah & grandchild, knowing her son is cheating. 

I find it amusing that Clint’s facial wrinkles keep  getting more and more progressive each episode. 

I almost feel off my chair laughing at his line  “Everyone makes mistakes,that’s why pencils have erasers” 

Edited February 16, 2019 by Hellohappylife

[zenme]

Scott should have given Lizzie a bus pass with a bow on it.

Did anyone else think those 2 ladies in the jewelry shop  thought they were mixed up in an elaborate scheme to get held up?

Michael is an ass, and he will have issues with cheating for the rest of his life. Megan and Sarah are so stupid. 

[SL16]

Scott is broke and he's buying a car for a woman who had her license revoked due to 8(!!!!!!!!!!!) DUIs. This guy deserves whatever he can get. He's dumber than a box of hammers.

Lizzie needs to stop with the "OMG, I'm so cuuuuuuuute" routine. You are not cute. You are a grown ass woman acting like a 14 year old. Stop it.

Edited February 16, 2019 by SL16

[Hannah94]

"Scott has no say in the wedding preparations." And then "I have no budget for my wedding dress. Why should I?" Um, you're going to learn really soon why you should, sweetheart. 

(In her annoying valley girl accent, no less) 

[Hannah94]

Wait, did Tracie really just say "they took me to criminal jail"? Is there any other kind? Is there a jail for law-abiding citizens that I don't know about?

[SevenCostanza]

33 minutes ago, zenme said:

Did anyone else think those 2 ladies in the jewelry shop  thought they were mixed up in an elaborate scheme to get held up?

Yes!  I got the feeling one of them had her finger on the alarm button.    How exactly is jobless Matt going to pay for a diamond ring?

I felt really bad for Caitlin, no snark on her this week.

I did like how Michael's mother was telling him to drop Meaghan and focus on his family. I doubt he'll take her advice but it was nice to hear.

I burst out laughing when Tracie told Clint she was back in jail again.  Loved her interview in prison all shackled up.   Did they think she might physically attack the camera crew? 

[JenE4]

Inanimate objects were the real stars of the show this episode, from unaffordable wedding dresses to unaffordable engagement rings and from mysteriously disappearing cars to ill-advisingly appearing cars. Sometimes the objects added subtext, such as Marcellino’s massive hot dogs while underscoring how a woman needs a man to be satisfied. But the greatest dig was Sarah throwing a wrapped Kraft Single at Pretty Girl, then we cut to Megan talking about how she’s going to meet [insert Pretty Girl’s actual name] while she’s taking a Sargento’s snack cup thing out of her fridge. Oooh, burn!! Megan is sooo much classier than Sarah and is going to swoop in and take her man AND her child with her superior cheese selection! But top award goes to Scott’s “teeth.” Oh, boy. What a shame that his tooth got lost in a ditch episode 1 and he’s spent all his money on Lizzie—including three giant bows (he went with red) for a car she can’t legally drive—and yet sped away like a maniac anyway—because with 8 DUIs, a suspended license, and ON FREAKIN’ PAROLE, what’s the problem? But, I think my favorite inanimate object that needed no context was Clint’s “artwork” hanging in his living room—a bright yellow “NO FARTING” sign. As for the rental car, I would have assumed   she didn’t want to talk about it because she sold it for drugs, but we saw the footage of her getting pulled over and arrested, so it’s obviously in police compound. Why wouldn’t she just tell him that so he can contact the jail and track it down? But, rational thought isn’t really their strong suit, so we’ll just leave it at that. Tracie would probably love his No Farting sign if she actually stays out of jail long enough to make it all the way to Oklahoma and their marital home.

[cooksdelight]

1 hour ago, Hannah94 said:

Wait, did Tracie really just say "they took me to criminal jail"? Is there any other kind? Is there a jail for law-abiding citizens that I don't know about?

I caught that too, and knowing our local jail and the people who are in there ... there’s only one kind. 

[millennium]

2 hours ago, SevenCostanza said:

Yes!  I got the feeling one of them had her finger on the alarm button.    How exactly is jobless Matt going to pay for a diamond ring?

LOL, I said aloud, "The dark-haired one is reaching for the alarm button!"

[millennium]

54 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

 But, I think my favorite inanimate object that needed no context was Clint’s “artwork” hanging in his living room—a bright yellow “NO FARTING” sign. 

I think Clint probably got tired of writing notes to himself on Post Its.

[Kelly]

4 minutes ago, millennium said:

LOL, I said aloud, "The dark-haired one is reaching for the alarm button!"

I was thinking the exact same thing!  LMAO!

[LucyEth]

I am beginning to think Michael doesn't remember his daughter's name so he just calls her pretty girl.  Michael's mom seems to genuinely appreciate everything Sara has done and likes her, but in the end he will do whatever he wants. When we will see the Sara/Megan (my Queen) confrontation?  Scott is a fool and so is Lizzie thinking he has an endless supply of money to spend on her.  The gown shopping had me laughing out loud.  Those jewelry shop women seemed very nervous, think they were expecting a robbery, they may still get it, he hasn't got any money, what would make him go look at rings.  He can't be trusted, although I thought he was very comforting to Caitlin concerning her mom.  Was that Marcelino's home, it was very nice.  Brittany throwing out her girl and the friend for Marcelino was very surprising.  Hope all will be okay for her and the baby.  Clint is as dumb as box of rocks.  The nerve of Tracie to brush off the car situation,  what a selfish bitch.   Bring on next week!

Edited February 16, 2019 by LucyEth
Edited to add comments about Tracie and Clint

[sempervivum]

11 hours ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

Who thinks he'll get arrested for real? I think previews showing the obvious are never as they seem. 

Well, I think he's taking the coward's way out of his lady drama- no, not suicide, just getting himself sent back to the slammer.  

What I want to know is what is Sarah 'studying' and when does she do it? And how's that going to work with TWO little kids? And how can she afford her own place, when we've seen no sign of her going to work? I suspect her grandparents are paying to keep her and her crazy out of their own house.

I think Scott's teeth are some prefab dentures/partials, that were not fitted to his own jaw. He said they were uncomfortable. And come on, Lizzie- they were better than what he had, but it hardly turned him into Prince Charming. And I think that car was an Infiniti, right? Even used, those aren't exactly bargain basement cars. He deserves to be ruined.  Also, last week, Jazmine was demanding that her mom choose between her and Scott, but this week, she seems to be just fine with watching the Lizzard try on (way too small) wedding gowns.

 Matt has a real aggressive/mean undercurrent; he seemed to be ready to punch out his friend for questioning his judgement in looking at rings right after fighting with Kaitlyn.

Clint also deserves to be ruined. I just hope his parents don't get financially damaged as he goes down. HOW can he look at that lumpy, hollow-eyed mess and think 'Goddess'?! To say nothing of her sparkling, 'classy' f-bomb based vocabulary.

Aaaand yet another unplanned pregnancy. I used to like Brittany, but now I'm afraid she and Mr. Man deserve each other.

[Neurochick]

13 hours ago, PityFree said:

 Also doesn’t anyone on this show using birth control???? 

Funny you should mention that, I’m pretty sure that there was a commercial that hour, for some type of birth control.  

[Spike]

Lizzie needs to work on her con skills.  She has acknowledged that Scott is sensitive, but then said on national television that he looked like a homeless dude.  You want to flatter the trick, not insult him.  Maybe she figured by the time the show airs she’ll be gone.

Caitlin’s mom was 61 going on 90.  They should use the clips of her in a PSA about substance abuse.

Maybe Tracie traded the rental  car for a less valuable one since she thought she was being tracked and the other car was what she was driving when she was pulled over.  Because I don’t know how she could have left it outside a store after they arrested her.

[millennium]

5 hours ago, Hellohappylife said:

Britney/Marcelino - Such a horrible idea to invite ex’s to parties that include alcohol,there is bound to be some drama once the alcohol kicks in. 

What was with Marcellino's friend saying "I got your back"?  Did he expect Marcelino was going to throwdown with Amanda and her outspoken friend?

Brittany was such an attention whore this episode, feigning outraged restraint as an assbackwards way of revealing to her friend she's pregnant, then trying to convince herself and the world that she is in fact not jealous of Amanda's skanky new squeeze and all in on heterosexual monogamy by repeating "my baby" and "my man" at every turn.   

[bichonblitz]

2 hours ago, JenE4 said:

As for the rental car, I would have assumed   she didn’t want to talk about it because she sold it for drugs, but we saw the footage of her getting pulled over and arrested, so it’s obviously in police compound. Why wouldn’t she just tell him that so he can contact the jail and track it down? 

Because she was too busy being sweet to Clint again so he would pay for her lawyer and prison snacks. He better start pulling double shifts at the No Tell Motel. 

What? Divorce? Me?  I'm not that kind of girl! And Clint's heart melts once again. 

[Jennifersdc]

BEST REALITY SHOW EVER. Sorry 90 Day Fiancé (more apologies to Ru Paul cause his is actually fabulous and classy).

Mr. DC and I watched this morning and I think I literally peed myself three times. 

I do now feel kinda bad for poor, dumb Kaitlyn (re her Mom) - though she obviously needs to make better choices.

But Tracy showing off her new finger jail tattoo of Clint while in her orange prison jumpsuit with handcuffs (they actually allowed a jailhouse interview?). That was priceless. Correct me if I’m wrong - so she got arrested shortly after absconding with the rental car then got released and then only called him when she got arrested again? And rental car is still missing? Also is there a non-criminal jail?

Scott and his new non-permanent teeth that hurt? Taking a loan to buy her a car after she has no license cause she has 8 DUI’s? 

[toodles]

1 hour ago, sempervivum said:

I think Scott's teeth are some prefab dentures/partials, that were not fitted to his own jaw. He said they were uncomfortable. And come on, Lizzie- they were better than what he had, but it hardly turned him into Prince Charming. 

Maybe they sell Chicklet dentures at the dollar store.  That's about all he can afford.

[hookedontv]

1 hour ago, LucyEth said:

I am beginning to think Michael doesn't remember his daughter's name so he just calls her pretty girl.

Well, who the hell can remember the name Aviahna? Why can’t her name be Mary or Betsy or Christina? 

[Scout Finch]

Announcer: If you are in a relationship with someone in prison who will be released soon...

Me: NO, thank god!

[hookedontv]

1 hour ago, LucyEth said:

Was that Marcelino's home, it was very nice.

No, Brittany said it was her bunkie Sascha’s parent’s house if I remember correctly. 

[Jennifersdc]

5 hours ago, zenme said:

Did anyone else think those 2 ladies in the jewelry shop  thought they were mixed up in an elaborate scheme to get held up?

My thoughts exactly.

[Neurochick]

18 minutes ago, hookedontv said:

Well, who the hell can remember the name Aviahna? Why can’t her name be Mary or Betsy or Christina? 

Maybe because not everyone wants to give their daughter those names.  What a boring world it would be if everyone had the same names.  Kind of like my college dorm where there were like thirty girls named Mary Beth.

[Neurochick]

3 minutes ago, Jennifersdc said:

My thoughts exactly.

Please explain to me why anyone with a brain would think a reality TV crew would come to rob a bridal shop?  I guess the folks in the Vegas bridal shop where Brittany and Amanda went were more intelligent.

[LellePCC]

I didn’t really buy Tracie’s explanation about the car. I figured she sold it for drug money or traded it for more crack. Perhaps that’s why she doesn’t want to talk about it. 😂

[psychoticstate]

Every time I have a hard week or feel down, there is Love After Lockup to make me feel sooooo much better about my own life and life choices.  

Thank you, Tracie, for letting me know there is "criminal jail" and apparently "non-criminal jail."  Good to know.  I guess that  means there are criminal-criminals and non-criminal criminals.   I suppose it's a good thing she called when she did since Clint looks as though a barely there wind would blow him away.  His mom needs to fix him about 10 sandwiches, pronto.   This is what your future looks like, Clint, if you continue down this purple, meth-laced road with My Goddess.   I realize he has no backbone and absolutely no balls but I'd be demanding to know where the damn rental car is.   Maybe a sticking point but don't most rental cars have some kind of GPS or something nowadays?  Couldn't the rental place track it? 

Lizzie's questionable taste is rubbing off on Jasmine, with her Mickey Mouse ear-hairstyle.  Again, with the "I want my mom to spend time with me."  Ummmm, what exactly are you guys doing?  Nobody appears to have a job and they're just hanging out at some hotel in Wisconsin.  Doesn't that qualify as spending time?   I had to laugh over the first wedding dress Lizzie tried on - - it was about 5 sizes too small and her boobs looked like they were going to knock their owner, if not themselves, out.  Amazed that Lizzie actually thought it mind be kind of inappropriate.  You think?  The second dress was actually very pretty and flattering.  Color me surprised that Lizzie chose it.  Of course she has no budget and Scott has no say in any wedding preparation.  Kind of like he gets  no sex.    I really can't wait for her to find out he's dead ass broke.  I felt sorry for him last season but no longer.  Lizzie has EIGHT DUIs -- EIGHT!!!! -- and you buy her a car?  Are you nuts?  Is that so she can drive around the parking lot and look for the Chiclet teeth of his that are going to fall out once the glue loosens?   Good thing she likes the car because that's where they will be living.

Brittany is showing herself to be a trashy asshole more and more.  She wants to kick Amanda 2.0's ass not because something was said about Marcelino but because Amanda 1.0 had the nerve to bring her.  That's all.    I will say that Brittany is a much better con than Lizzie; she hides it better.  And she thinks she's pregnant?  If she wasn't using birth control, why is she surprised?   Brittany, to answer your questions about is a baby too soon?  Is a  wedding too soon?  Yes.  And yes.  No shit.   Maybe you should consider getting a job and being a productive member of society before spawning with your ragey, jealous Captain Save a Ho.

I did laugh over the editing monkeys showing the hot dogs on the grill when Marcelino commented that a woman couldn't possibly satisfy another woman the way a man could.  Ha!  Genius.

Poor, poor Caitlin.  She really has been dealt a shit hand in life.  She wants a family unit so badly.  At least Matt actually seemed caring toward her with the death of her mom.  

Farmington, NY is obviously the Cabbage Patch field of delusion as Sarah actually thinks that things are going really awesome with her and Michael.  Uh-huh.  Sure.  She's looking for the right time to tell him she's pregnant - - I'm thinking maybe once he's behind bars again?  I had to laugh over so-clearly-not-a-MENSA-member Michael saying he had to be careful and watch his Ps and Qs so he didn't get into trouble.  A little bit late there, buddy.    Of course he's now rethinking his feelings for Megan My Queen.  He got her in bed and maybe he's now getting a Lorena Bobbitt vibe from her.  So now she invites herself to New York.  Ummm, why didn't do she do that when she was actually at the airport right after he got released and he told her not to come?  

The previews for next week's episode give me hope that what appears to be his arrest will lead to not only the showdown between Megan My Queen and Cabbage Patch Sarah but also spare us from having to see Michael in any more wife-beaters and deodorant stained pits.  

I have to wonder what Cabbage Patch Sarah thinks, watching these episodes where Michael is talking to Megan My Queen when he's with Pretty Girl and in the apartment they share?   (That's assuming she's thinking, of course.) 

[Spike]

1 hour ago, hookedontv said:

No, Brittany said it was her bunkie Sascha’s parent’s house if I remember correctly. 

I hope all valuables were locked or bolted down with all the ex-con riffraff meandering around.