S02.E05: Secrets and Cellmates

[Spike]

I think the reason Matt was quoted five grand for an implant was because of the bone loss.  They have to graft bone from a cadaver and it takes several visits.

Scott is a trucker.  If he is a long haul one, some of them take amphetaminea to stay awake.

[Drogo]

Discussion of what's in the spoiler threads belongs only in the spoiler threads. 

[Pepper Mostly]

21 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

The juxtaposition of him fretting over the ring and her violating probation by slurping alcohol through a fancy straw... priceless!

I kept envisioning the poor restaurant employees walking by, seeing Clint having an episode out by the ice machine. 

[cooksdelight]

Matt and Scott could both get dentures for around $500. Yank all that crap and start fresh!

[configdotsys]

I don't know what to say about this episode because you all covered most of it but here goes:

Sarah's blaccent drove me nuts. Reminded me of Kayla on Teen Mom Young and Pregnant. So unbecoming and cringeworthy. I'm embarrassed typing this. 

Clint and whoever: Gross and disgusting.

Brittney needs to go live with her friend and leave that controlling asshole in the dust.

Lizze and Scott. Scott looks gross no matter what you do with him. 

The porn aspect of this program this time around is offensive to me and I am no prude. It's just unnecessarily disgusting to show so much and keep mics open while stuff is going down.

Matt was a bit scary this episode. When Caitlin was trying to tell him things would work out, he got so angry at her saying that. I thought he was dying to get out and use. He seemed upset that he has to live with mom and has no car. Well, duh, you've been in prison, asswipe. You want those things, earn them. 

Edited January 6, 2019 by configdotsys
typo repair

[Psycho Suzy]

I came to say how proud I am a Sarah. I guess while Michael was in jail, she went back to school because she became bilingual during the episode.

She can speak middle-class white girl, and by the end of the episode, she was also fluent in ghetto as well!! Nice work Sarah!

Reaching dreams. Amen.

[Spike]

19 minutes ago, SuzyQILoveYou said:

I came to say how proud I am a Sarah. I guess while Michael was in jail, she went back to school because she became bilingual during the episode.

She can speak middle-class white girl, and by the end of the episode, she was also fluent in ghetto as well!! Nice work Sarah!

Reaching dreams. Amen.

It reminded me of the nun in the movie Airplane who said, “I speak jive.”

[vintagesac]

Did it look to anyone else like Lizzie also dyed Scott’s hair after she cut it? When it was long, there was so much gray, and then none and it was darker. I was expecting for a big reveal like, oh, he actually looks handsome, but I think he really needed that facial hair.

[hookedontv]

So I just finished watching this week’s episode of “Porn After Lockup” and I have to take a hot shower to wash the skank off me that seeped through the TV. These people are ridiculous, for the most part unattractive (inside and out) and just seem dirrrrrrty. 

[sasha206]

Kaityln has two rules for Matt of she's gone:  No cheating, no going back to jail.  Yeah right.    Kaitlyn is going to hang onto that jackass for dear life.  I notice that she never says the words, "If you do drugs..." it is "going back to jail."  My take on that is she is okay w/drugs -- likely b/c she dabbles in them too -- but he needs to be careful not to get busted.  

Michael...what is it that is so attractive about him to Megan and Sarah?  Actually Sarah isn't that attractive.  Megan I think is very pretty.  I guess I could maybe understand these idiots if they fell in love with a prisoner who was actually attractive and charming.  Matt, Michael aren't hot, aren't charming, and don't seem to be very smart either.  What on earth is the attraction?  

[Hannah94]

13 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

Kaityln has two rules for Matt of she's gone:  No cheating, no going back to jail.  Yeah right.    Kaitlyn is going to hang onto that jackass for dear life.  I notice that she never says the words, "If you do drugs..." it is "going back to jail."  My take on that is she is okay w/drugs -- likely b/c she dabbles in them too -- but he needs to be careful not to get busted.  

Michael...what is it that is so attractive about him to Megan and Sarah?  Actually Sarah isn't that attractive.  Megan I think is very pretty.  I guess I could maybe understand these idiots if they fell in love with a prisoner who was actually attractive and charming.  Matt, Michael aren't hot, aren't charming, and don't seem to be very smart either.  What on earth is the attraction?  

Caitlin/Kaitlin (not sure how she spells it) started off looking so cute and then when they went to the dentist, she looked rode hard. I fear she has been dabbling in chemical arts with her Prince Charming Matt.

To answer your question (because Michael is not attractive, but moreover, he has absolutely nothing to offer a partner as far as redeeming qualities), I think it is a combination of desperation and the desire to feel needed; they believe these convicts need them more than they need the convicts. On paper, that theory makes sense. However the convicts being portrayed on this show are the most arrogant cockiest tools I have ever seen.

[LilaFowler]

I was so grossed out by Lizzie tonguing Scott, and Clint and Tracie's sex noises, that I could barely focus on the rest of the episode. Between all of that and Caitlin's semen-crusted lips from a few episodes back, I'm going to have to refrain from eating immediately before this show airs. Disgusting.

Edited January 6, 2019 by LilaFowler

[Pepper Mostly]

9 hours ago, sasha206 said:

Kaityln has two rules for Matt of she's gone:  No cheating, no going back to jail.  Yeah right.    Kaitlyn is going to hang onto that jackass for dear life.  I notice that she never says the words, "If you do drugs..." it is "going back to jail."  My take on that is she is okay w/drugs -- likely b/c she dabbles in them too -- but he needs to be careful not to get busted.  

Michael...what is it that is so attractive about him to Megan and Sarah?  Actually Sarah isn't that attractive.  Megan I think is very pretty.  I guess I could maybe understand these idiots if they fell in love with a prisoner who was actually attractive and charming.  Matt, Michael aren't hot, aren't charming, and don't seem to be very smart either.  What on earth is the attraction?  

Right? They keep saying "he's my soulmate!". Girl, whut? 

Marcellino is just the worst. What a bastard. He was so rude to Brittany's friend. How late could she have been? They'd just been seated and watered. They weren't sitting there for an hour. If I'm meeting someone in a restaurant at 11 and they get there at 11:10 I don't have s***. His need to control every aspect of his (and Brittany's) life is very concerning. What if Brittany squeezes the toothpaste from the middle of the tube! Horrors!

[bichonblitz]

On 1/5/2019 at 11:36 AM, sempervivum said:

And why didn't this dentist suggest to these 2 that he have a bridge made instead? Cheaper, and if it's good enough for Scott, it should be good enough for Matt!

I just paid $5,000 for a bridge. It's not cheaper. Dentistry is a complete rip off. 

[sempervivum]

1 minute ago, bichonblitz said:

I just paid $5,000 for a bridge. It's not cheaper.

Just for one tooth, like Matt's?

[bichonblitz]

Just now, sempervivum said:

Just for one tooth, like Matt's?

A bridge involves 3 teeth. The one that is missing and the two on each side that the bridge has to be anchored/fitted to. I chose that option because I can't handle the thought of having a screw drilled in to my jaw for the implant. Plus you have to wait 3 mos for the jaw to heal, then you get the implant. So there is a waiting period. Either way, a rip off. 

[Spike]

Just a crown isn’t too bad, but implants and bridges get expensive.  

[IvySpice]

Quote

I notice that she never says the words, "If you do drugs..." it is "going back to jail."  My take on that is she is okay w/drugs -- likely b/c she dabbles in them too -- but he needs to be careful not to get busted.  

Exactly. She KNOWS he's going to use. She doesn't even ask him not to. I guess that's OK in a fiancé/father as long as he walks free! Who doesn't like to wind down with a nice bowl of meth after a long day mooching off your mom?

[Spike]

Matt’s mom kinda looks like Dana Carvey as the Church Lady.

[zenme]

4 hours ago, Spike said:

Matt’s mom kinda looks like Dana Carvey as the Church Lady.

That poor lady. I imagine anyone would,  given the hell that son of hers has put her through. He's very lucky she's allowed him back home. She said she hopes having Caitlyn there will help keep him on the straight and narrow. Well, hope springs eternal. I hope she's going to Costco and buying condoms by the caseload.

[sasha206]

19 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

Caitlin/Kaitlin (not sure how she spells it) started off looking so cute and then when they went to the dentist, she looked rode hard. I fear she has been dabbling in chemical arts with her Prince Charming Matt.

Yes, I thought the same thing!  She looked like she just went on an all night bender herself.  And she has always had the cute but reformed meth head to me. Now she looks like she's back in it.  Maybe that's Matt's appeal.  She thinks he's a good looking meth head.  Her soulmate!

[Hannah94]

1 hour ago, zenme said:

That poor lady. I imagine anyone would,  given the hell that son of hers has put her through. He's very lucky she's allowed him back home. She said she hopes having Caitlyn there will help keep him on the straight and narrow. Well, hope springs eternal. I hope she's going to Costco and buying condoms by the caseload.

They haven't used condoms on the show yet so I doubt they intend to. I would not be surprised one bit if she is knocked up already.

[sasha206]

I rewatched the scenes with Sarah and wow, I am mortified for her with her "blaccent."  That was sooooooo pitiful and disturbing.

Also disturbing is how anyone looks at Michael, especially knowing his police record, and decides he's their "King."

[CoachWristletJen]

Did anyone notice in the flashback of Caitlin talking to Matt on the phone, she had him labeled as "Everything"? Reminded me of Nicole on 90DF, who had Azan labeled as "My World."

Matt's mother was surprisingly well spoken as she discussed her "plethora of worries." Poor lady! The heartache she must have endured over the years.

Matt was definitely jonesing, trying to bicker, getting antsy, ugly, etc. Clearly he's had no serious recovery in prison although I'm sure it's been offered to him. So sad for his mother!

[Drogo]

Just now, CoachWristletJen said:

Did anyone notice in the flashback of Caitlin talking to Matt on the phone, she had him labeled as "Everything"?

She already has someone saved in her phone as Toothless Shitbag.

[Kangatush]

On 1/5/2019 at 7:29 PM, vintagesac said:

Did it look to anyone else like Lizzie also dyed Scott’s hair after she cut it? When it was long, there was so much gray, and then none and it was darker. I was expecting for a big reveal like, oh, he actually looks handsome, but I think he really needed that facial hair.

It is dyed.  If you look at the pic in the very first post you can see the dye line on his forehead.

[Marsupial]

Quote

 

The free and easy rapport she had with her female friend was such a sharp contrast to the angry, judgy-pants Marcellino! I was hoping for the same thing. 

It seems to me that if both women have had crimes that are substance abuse related, and they can establish a strong recovery network together, going to meetings, etc.

 

I totally agree, and it's clear that she really wants to get together with her ex-lover. I hope she does and dumps Marcelino flat...I didn't catch her former prison friend's name, but it struck me that both of them are incredibly perceptive, self-aware and intelligent women, which is probably why they became friends. Their relationship seems completely grounded in reality and it's clear that they both are able to see how dangerous Marcelino is. I officially love them both.

Is it weird that I find myself not totally hating Clint's "goddess??" She strikes me as being very aware that she's found a very soft landing spot with old Clint, and is prepared to be nice to him/have sex with him/make him happy just to hold onto a place to live, someone to be nice to her and a little cash.  She is a user, but I bet she would make Clint happy even if she was just using him. She seems to have a genuine semi-fondness for him and a willingness to make their ridiculous relationship work. She even said that she needed to get a job, which is more than Matt can say! 

Quote

He seemed upset that he has to live with mom and has no car. Well, duh, you've been in prison, asswipe. You want those things, earn them. 

I was thinking the same thing. He has zero interest in doing anything that's societally acceptable and will be back inside very quickly. His mom knows it, too. 

[peaceknit]

On 1/5/2019 at 4:29 PM, vintagesac said:

Did it look to anyone else like Lizzie also dyed Scott’s hair after she cut it? When it was long, there was so much gray, and then none and it was darker. I was expecting for a big reveal like, oh, he actually looks handsome, but I think he really needed that facial hair.

As they say, a beard hides a multitude of sins.

[bichonblitz]

On 1/5/2019 at 7:00 PM, configdotsys said:

Lizze and Scott. Scott looks gross no matter what you do with him. 

Scott should have used a tiny portion of that $90,000 he has given to Lizzie to get his disgusting teeth fixed. I can't even imagine kissing that mouth! Jeez, what is it with these people and their teeth? And what does someone in prison need all that money for? Snacks? Drugs? She doesn't have to worry about rent, food, utilities or car payments so wtf.

[Spike]

The prison Lizzie was in has a serious contraband problem if she was able to purchase $90k in drugs over two years.  It would be nice if they could prosecute her for it as she stupidly admitted it on tv.  Maybe they need to start drug testing inmates and revoking good time credit or extending sentences when they are using.  If they can have parole revoked for drug use why is it tolerated while still in prison?  I know some contraband will always get through but she had access to a pipeline.  

Edited January 7, 2019 by Spike

[HorrrGoodnight]

She had access to a pipeline, alright! 🍆 I bet she was screwing the guards.

[Reality police]

On 1/5/2019 at 3:50 PM, annewithaneee said:

First of all, I just realized my post was maybe a little insensitive and I want to apologize for that -- I hadn't thought of the ID/TBI angle, and if he does come across the way he does because of that, then yeah bad on the show and not bad on Clint. I just read his whole vibe as a bit meth-y. Clint/Tracie's spoilery thread on here does include some links to stories about his past, and I do think he's probably abusing some sort of substance, but there might be more going on too.

You would hope that if the issue is ID/TBI that someone in his life would have been a little more proactive about him signing on to this show. 

[Reality police]

I think a good portion of Scott's money went to her lawyer. Last year he told Scott it would take about $12k to get her out of the last charges.

[Empress1]

On 1/4/2019 at 10:25 PM, Cammi said:

I know a former correctional officer at the prison camp Englewood Colorado. I remember them telling me some people just cannot function in normal society. I asked if that meant they were institutionalized? And they said not necessarily, that there was a study they did at the prison that said some people are just never meant for normal society. And one of the biggest indicators of this is when someone will constantly say they don't want to be told what to do. As adults were told what to do every day. By our jobs, our laws we are governed by, our kids, spouses, teachers etc.  We all function by these laws. But there are some people that just cannot function this way. Matt and Michael are prime examples of this. I don't think that they're necessarily institutionalized as much as they just can't function normally in a society. They will be right back in prison. If they're not already.  It's shocking to watch, but makes me sad that our prisons do not rehabilitate, only punish. Matt's attitude after only being home 10 minutes was abhorrent, infantile, and frankly very disturbing. 

 

Matt is going to be in and out of jail his entire life. He has no desire not to be in jail, no skills that would keep him out, and no desire to cultivate said skills. Matt's mother said he usually fucks up within eight hours of getting out. He's going back. Wouldn't surprise me if he were there right now. I just hope Caitlin doesn't get pregnant by him, or do some shit that would get her locked up too.

[Spike]

11 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Matt is going to be in and out of jail his entire life. He has no desire not to be in jail, no skills that would keep him out, and no desire to cultivate said skills. Matt's mother said he usually fucks up within eight hours of getting out. He's going back. Wouldn't surprise me if he were there right now. I just hope Caitlin doesn't get pregnant by him, or do some shit that would get her locked up too.

I hate rules yet I will keep going back to a place that is nothing but rules.

[zillabreeze]

35 minutes ago, Spike said:

I hate rules yet I will keep going back to a place that is nothing but rules

That is only slightly paraphrased, but it is what he said!  Glad someone else caught it, too.  I had a true head slam/ coffee table moment during that discussion!

[configdotsys]

1 hour ago, Reality police said:

I think a good portion of Scott's money went to her lawyer. Last year he told Scott it would take about $12k to get her out of the last charges.

I agree. That and insanely expensive phone calls that could be more than $20 each. I've been an avid watcher of Lockup, Lockdown, Hard Time and a few more prison shows and any time they talk about commissary, they say inmates can spend $60 per week there. I know they can buy a TV and CD player and sneakers, but those are one time purchases and I don't think you are allowed to buy someone else a TV. So if she maxed out her spending in the commissary that's $240 a month. I can't figure out where the $90k figure came from unless you add in lawyer/filing fees to the mix, if he moved to be closer to her or whatever, he may take those costs into account too.

I can't remember how long they were "together" while she was in jail but I'm wondering if prison has a limit to how much an inmate can have in their prison account. I would imagine that someone getting large deposits would alert the authorities that something was going on. Besides with the commissary limit, it's hard to figure out how she'd blow through that kind of money inside. That's a lot of honey buns.

[Drogo]

36 minutes ago, Spike said:

I hate rules yet I will keep going back to a place that is nothing but rules.

He thrives there.

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

I had to turn away from the Lizzie schooling Scott on kissing - she reminded me of a catfish.  This may have been mentioned before, but Brittany reminds me of a heavier Claire Danes. She needs to get away from Marcelano . Why do I also think Clints mom should have went with him, she could have stopped the shenanigans 

 

[StrongbyDefault]

On 1/5/2019 at 7:24 PM, Spike said:

It reminded me of the nun in the movie Airplane who said, “I speak jive.”

Ha!  I tweeted the same thing!  Great minds...

[Marsupial]

Quote

Matt is going to be in and out of jail his entire life. He has no desire not to be in jail, no skills that would keep him out, and no desire to cultivate said skills.

Granted, our prisons do a terrible job of rehabilitating people, BUT they do offer help and opportunities for people who are sincerely interested in changing their lives. Prisoners can take classes, get help for their addictions (I know, addiction is incredibly difficult to treat and it requires ongoing support on the outside, too), go to college, learn skills, get counseling...

I know there are crappy prisons where the inmates are treated badly and don't have access to any of that, but it doesn't sound like Matt was in one of those. It sounds like he could have availed himself of help and didn't choose to. He appears to come from a solid and loving background, too, so clearly he could have support there if he really wanted to change his life. His mother would jump up and down to help if he said he sincerely wanted to change. He doesn't want to, period. 

[lezlers]

On ‎1‎/‎4‎/‎2019 at 6:39 PM, CoachWristletJen said:

This dude lives with his mother. How does he not have money saved for his goddess?

The juxtaposition of him fretting over the ring and her violating probation by slurping alcohol through a fancy straw... priceless!

Nitpick: she's not on probation or parole.  She was in federal prison.

[lezlers]

8 hours ago, Spike said:

The prison Lizzie was in has a serious contraband problem if she was able to purchase $90k in drugs over two years.  It would be nice if they could prosecute her for it as she stupidly admitted it on tv.  Maybe they need to start drug testing inmates and revoking good time credit or extending sentences when they are using.  If they can have parole revoked for drug use why is it tolerated while still in prison?  I know some contraband will always get through but she had access to a pipeline.  

That's why Scott spend a bunch more money on a lawyer and she spent an extra year in jail, remember?  She was caught with drugs and cell phones.

[lezlers]

4 hours ago, Drogo said:

He thrives there.

Institutionalization is a very real thing.  It appears that Matt has spent the vast majority of his life in one institution or another, from the time he was a child.  It's literally all he knows.   Remember Dom from last season?  He was in Canada and was required to stay in a halfway house for a year upon release.   Apparently Canada takes reintegration into society much more seriously than we do here.   Here, you just get taken in a van and "released into the community" at some random location.  There are no steps taken to aid you in reintegration.  So someone who has spent a significant amount of time incarcerated is much more likely than not to wind up right back in prison because they literally don't know how to function outside of prison walls.  It's a very real and very sad phenomenon. 

But Matt is a tool.  It also doesn't look like he's had any sort of treatment for his raging addition, either.  You can not be physically dependent on a substance anymore but still be a raging addict, like Matt.  No treatment + no fear of going back inside = start a betting pool on how long it'll be before his next arrest. 

[cooksdelight]

Looks to me like a good portion of the money Scott spent on Lizzie was for the munchies.

[PityFree]

Did everyone catch the look Matt gave to Caitlin when she mentioned that better teeth would help him be more presentable when he started looking for A JOB?? That’s a man who has no intention of ever getting a job.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

7 hours ago, Drogo said:

He thrives there.

Matt thrives everywhere. He was thriving right in front of us. Matt thrives.

[BravoAddict72]

I was screaming at my TV for Brittney to run when Marcellino said in his talking head if he doesn't approve of her friend he will find a way to cut her from their lives.! He is so controlling. He is not her father or husband, he has no say in how she lives her life. BTW, I think Brittney looked really pretty at brunch with her hair up.

[jumper sage]

On 1/5/2019 at 11:04 AM, JenE4 said:

but I guess now these unfortunate people in Flint can’t even sell their houses

As a Michigander myself, Flint homeowners are screwed.  They can't sell or even rent their homes and the STILL DON'T HAVE CLEAN DRINKING WATER.  They lineup once a week for donated bottled water.

On 1/5/2019 at 12:10 PM, HaaCHOO said:

On 1/5/2019 at 11:51 AM, CoachWristletJen said:

That reminds me of a woman I knew of who used to cover up her dark tooth in the front with an unpainted Lee Press-On Nail. Not sure it would work for a missing tooth although it's worth a try.

Comedy gold!

Edited January 10, 2019 by jumper sage

[jumper sage]

I couldn't edit  my last post:  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  A Lee Press-on Nail for a tooth?  Now I have heard everything.