19 Things I Hate About You: How the Duggars Infuriate

[Turquoise]

One word: totally

[CarolMK]

One thing I saw on my FB page today from the Life is not All Pickles and Hairspray, was Jim Bob and Michelle on stage with some woman, (don't know who she is) while the woman was doing some kind of rap song/dance. Michelle was sitting but Jim Bob was up on stage trying to do a couple of moves along with her. Didn't they preach on their show how they think dancing is sinful? I guess it isn't when they're trying to do whatever it takes to stay in the public eye. Hypocrites, and their views change depending on how it suits them and how they think they'll be perceived. What a piece of work these two are.

[tally1068]

It's probably been said about a gazillion times on this thread, sorry I haven't read it all, but the PDA's of J'chelle and now Jillard make me puke.

Why the necessity to kiss every couple 0f minutes? Why do J'Chelle and Boob have to practically do the splits every time they show off their exhibitionist kisses to their poor chaperoned offspring? It's both gross and so fake.

keep it in private please, I have to look away. Jillard are just as bad. Her adoring gaze gets on my last nerve. PAH

[Cherrio]

flyingdi: I agree "totally" with you..(sorry for that word)...One can't become someone's BEST FRIEND inside of 6 months; and with limited meetings and NEVER be alone together..these kids have NO friends outside of their siblings,, so their future spouse is their only "friend" and I use that term loosely.

David Waller and Pris use that "best friend" term also...I'm sure it's a Gothard Commandment..that you marry your best friend...

My best friend is someone I met 28 years ago....now, that's a best friend...These people are completely out of reality.

Someone please give Jill and Michelle a thesaurus...I'm so tired of their overuse of the same word and expressions.

Jill and Michelle would think that a thesaurus is a dinosaur.

[floridamom]

I watched that church "rap" video from Ohio. In being fair to the Duggars (did I really say that?) I think their hosts should have researched these people a bit more thoroughly and known in advance that they do NOT dance, at all, nor do they listen or approve of that type of music, and so many other types of music. I think Jim Bob and MIchelle were put in an awkward situation..what were they to do? I'm sure they didn't want to be discourteous to their hosts, so they sheepishly went along with the program...fault, though to their hosts...Having said that, I think Jim Bob thoroughly enjoyed the attention that he received, laughs, applause, from the audience when he "spun around, and voiced the song title" with that lady comedienne...He was enjoying it a bit too much for Michelle's standards...Why did he feel the need to look back at Michelle so often as if to "get her approval" of what he was doing? Did he have to kiss her so often, or AT ALL? So sickening to have to watch, yes, Jilly and derickdillard are doing the same thing so far... Jill's only role model is her birth mother....Back to the performance; I think Michelle was NOT a happy camper as she had that "fake smile and laugh" throughout the song...I'd like to know who really runs that family...Boob seems to constantly need Michelle's approval, yet Michelle seems to believe that the husband runs the show...I think it's jurisdictions for them too,,, Michelle is the morality police and Gothard believeing standard bearer, Jim Bob controls the checkbook and daily lives of their sons...

[flyingdi]

When did the kids start calling Jim Bob Pops? For some reason it's just jarring to me. I've only heard it recently. A couple times last season from Jessa and then again this season from Jill.

[Gianthambeast]

For all their constant quoting of the Bible do they really reflect on it? If they did, wouldn't this passage from Matthew feel uncomfortably close to their own lives:

 

5 But all their works they do for to be seen of men: they make broad their phylacteries, and enlarge the borders of their garments,

6 And love the uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues

 

I mean doesn't it remind you of a family that famewhores on TLC who lengthen the denim hems of their skirts, broaden their modesty panels, and love being in People and US Weekly, and any form of the spotlight?

Edited March 1, 2015 by Gianthambeast

[Portia]

When did the kids start calling Jim Bob Pops? For some reason it's just jarring to me. I've only heard it recently. A couple times last season from Jessa and then again this season from Jill.

I wonder if Pops is his "grandpa name"? It could be that the M-babies, Josh, and Anna started calling him that and it caught on with the rest of the family. That happened with my parents and with my husband's, too. Edited March 2, 2015 by Portia

[flyingdi]

I just don't remember hearing it til last season so maybe you're right.

[Betweenyouandme]

It sounds to me like a name an older child would start calling their father. I don't picture in my mind a little kid getting comfortable with it, unless, like above, it's the grandfather. I call my dad Popa. I always have. And, that's what he called his father. Papa with an O.

[EE2000]

I've never watched this show until last week when a guest in my home was watching it.   

So many things bugged me.     The youngest child, a little girl, there is something clearly not right with her and it doesn't seem like she is getting any sort of help and that is just so sad on many levels.       I don't get how a skirt is more modest than a pair of pants,  I just don't get that at all.     Do the girls have to get married in order to live outside the house, like can they move out once they are 18?    Or would the family disown them?         

I will not get started on having the older children basically raise the younger children, that is horrible.   Does Michelle even know how to be a parent?     She looked so drugged out, perhaps this is why she looks so happy and cheerful all the time.   Jim Bob seems as smart as a doorknob.  

Ugg, this family irritates the hell out of me and I only watched an hour of them, but mostly I just felt incredible sadness for all those kids and I hope one of them rebels, not in a bad way like with drugs or alcohol but just renouncing their faith kind of way.    

[NikSac]

I wonder if Pops is his "grandpa name"? It could be that the M-babies, Josh, and Anna started calling him that and it caught on with the rest of the family. That happened with my parents and with my husband's, too.

 

I think you're right. I remember my cousin-in-law saying how strange it was to her that her Mom would always be "Gramma" after her (Cousin's) first child was born. I had good friends growing up where I only ever knew their grandparent names. Don't get me wrong, I think the Duggars are nuts on a lot of fronts, but I can see how this would be fairly normal

[Hpmec]

There is nothing particularly moral about teaching your children intolerance toward anyone who doesn't follow your beliefs. The Duggars live in a giant black and white bubble in which there's no room for a decent education, critical thinking, or respect for differences of opinion. I have a very hard time with smug, self-righteous people, and the Duggars are textbook examples.

[Barb23]

Regarding the Pops name, the first person I remember saying it is Anna followed by Jill. I don't think it is used in place of Grandpa, because I've heard Anna use Grandpa when around her kiddos. Maybe Anna felt it easier to call Boob this instead of by his name or Dad even though she calls Michelle by her name or Mom. She seems to flip flop around with the names.

[lulu69]

There is nothing particularly moral about teaching your children intolerance toward anyone who doesn't follow your beliefs. The Duggars live in a giant black and white bubble in which there's no room for a decent education, critical thinking, or respect for differences of opinion. I have a very hard time with smug, self-righteous people, and the Duggars are textbook examples.

Agreed. Have the Duggars EVER considered, in their smug small minded existence, that there might be people of other faiths who consider the Duggars to be immoral or sinful for not following their teachings?  Nope, not possible!!!

[DangerousMinds]

And would they ever consider studying some of those other teachings? Nope.

[technorebel]

And why should they if they believe their faith is true? I'm a Christian and I don't sit around studying Buddhism.  I'm fairly familiar with them all because I have an interest in such things, but it's not as if it's going to change my mind.

[galax-arena]

And why should they if they believe their faith is true?

Because it's better than being completely ignorant. And if they're really secure in their faith, then learning about other belief systems out there shouldn't be so threatening. 

 

When you're as closed off and ignorant as the Duggars to the point where your reaction upon meeting a Hindu person is to go, "That's a religion and I'm like, okayyyyyy," then your life could only be improved by learning and studying some more. Of course, a lot of ignorant people tend to underestimate their own ignorance, so yeah, the Duggars probably won't consider it.

Edited March 2, 2015 by galax-arena

[Betweenyouandme]

Because it's better than being completely ignorant. And if they're really secure in their faith, then learning about other belief systems out there shouldn't be so threatening.

When you're as closed off and ignorant as the Duggars to the point where your reaction upon meeting a Hindu person is to go, "That's a religion and I'm like, okayyyyyy," then your life could only be improved by learning and studying some more. Of course, a lot of ignorant people tend to underestimate their own ignorance, so yeah, the Duggars probably won't consider it.

Eh. I think it's no worse than not knowing about other cultures' traditions, language, food, history, etc. It's all interesting and has many benefits. But, I don't see that it makes them believing their faith any less or "stupid." I mean, I love reading about Christmas traditions around the world, but if I didn't, I don't think that makes the way I celebrate dumb. Learning is usually always a good thing, but I don't look down on people who choose to focus on their own religion. I'm not going to go up to a Muslim person and tell them they'd better have studied Christianity or they're ignorant and unsure in their faith, and I won't do it to Christians either or anyone else. Just because the Duggars may not be respectful to others and their religions (I don't know how they act for fact), but it doesn't mean I'm going to start doing it back to them.

Basically, IMO, learning about others is wonderful and helps harmony, but if you don't, I don't think that makes someone an idiot in their faith.

[GEML]

I somewhat agree with this. But it's also true that the Duggars go around talking about their own faith extensively, with an implication (and sometimes rather outright admitting) that their religion is better than others (even other Christian religions). So that does require some responsibility on their part, I think.

To pick up on your own example, your way of celebrating Christmas may or may not be dumb, but going around asserting your way is the BEST way or even a better way means it would help if you could at least offer a few reasons why, and that requires at least a little knowledge and reflection, both of which the Duggars aren't strong in having.

Edited March 2, 2015 by GEML

[Betweenyouandme]

Religion is tricky. In my heart, I think Christianity is true. If I didn't, I wouldn't choose to be a Christian. But, I guess my main point is that no matter what the Duggars do, I'm not going to be negative about how they or others choose their faith or how much they want to learn about other faiths. I don't think anyone is required to reach any level of proficiency in world religions before committing to one, five, or none. But, I don't personally have an issue with evangelizing until it becomes name-calling or not taking no for an answer.

I think the Duggars are asserting their religion is the right way, which may differ in some ways than calling one the best way. Saying something is correct doesn't require knowledge about what is the wrong answer. I think that's why they don't feel the need.

Would it help relate to people and answer questions? Of course.

Edited March 2, 2015 by Betweenyouandme

[galax-arena]

I don't think anyone is required to reach any level of proficiency in world religions before committing to one, five, or none.

Neither do I. I'm not an expert on Hinduism or Buddhism or Islam or Judaism. (Although I'm sure I know more than the Duggars do.) But I also don't go around acting like a dogmatic asshole about my own religious beliefs, nor do I think that Hindus are weird the way Jinger seems to.

 

If you're going to bluster about that your particular brand of Christianity is the One True Path and other people are suckers who are going to Hell, you'd better be able to back it up with receipts on how other Christian denominations and non-Christian religions are Doing It Wrong.

Saying something is correct doesn't require knowledge about what is the wrong answer.

But how do they know that the other answers are wrong without having knowledge about them?

[Betweenyouandme]

I think the Duggars would say....faith.

And, as for how they'd think other religions are "wrong," I think they'd say, if they know what Christianity is and what it entails....anything that deviates from it...well...deviates from it. You could enlighten me right now that you believe there five green men who made the world with bananas. I wouldn't need to know that before talking to you to explain what it is that I believe. Knowing more about your faith would make it so I could relate to you better, but it does little to change how I'd feel about my own faith. I do not think handing out information about why every other religion is "wrong" is what they do or possible. It's about faith. I cannot prove Jesus is the Son of God more than I can prove or disprove about other prophets or messiahs other religions believe in. It's faith and trying to share that faith to those who want to listen.

Edited March 3, 2015 by Betweenyouandme

[Vaysh]

But how can they (or anyone) be certain that their way is the right way if they know absolutely nothing about any other way? I mean, thanks to their home-fooling they don't even get a hint about what other religions or denominations are about. Making the claim that any one thing is objectively "right" or "the best" without sampling or learning about other versions of that thing is just... words fail me here. Arrogant? Ignorant? Foolish? I admit I just don't understand this mindset.

 

 

Saying something is correct doesn't require knowledge about what is the wrong answer.

 

Yes. Yes it does actually. You don't get to act judgmental and dismissive about things you know nothing about. (Well obviously no one will actively stop you, free speech and so on, but you will look the fool while doing it.)

Edited March 3, 2015 by Vaysh

[Betweenyouandme]

But how can they (or anyone) be certain that their way is the right way if they know absolutely nothing about any other way? I mean, thanks to their home-fooling they don't even get a hint about what other religions or denominations are about. Making the claim that any one thing is objectively "right" or "the best" without sampling or learning about other versions of that thing is just... words fail me here. Arrogant? Ignorant? Foolish? I admit I just don't understand this mindset.

Yes. Yes it does actually. You don't get to act judgmental and dismissive about things you know nothing about. (Well obviously no one will actively stop you, free speech and so on, but you will look the fool while doing it.)

That's fine. I just disagree. I'm not saying for someone to act judgmental or dismissive- I'm talking only in regard to believing in what you believe and not believing in other things. I simply don't think it makes one a fool to believe in one thing without knowing about every other option. With religion, what people can believe is endless. I'm sure the Duggars are aware some people don't believe in God and others don't believe in Jesus. I don't see my faith as a strictly and only logical decision based on scientific proof. (Not saying you do or don't) I know a bit about other religions, but I didn't at 12 when I was confirmed in my church. I'm not constantly learning more and more facts about Islam to ensure my religion is the absolute best in every aspect and stone I've turned. This isn't a diet or exercise plan where I'm constantly on the search for new info debunked or proven or seeing what now works for me. I'm secure in my religion because of my faith.

I'm done on my end talking about this in particular. I don't mean that I'm having or trying to have the last word. I just don't want to get in trouble for going off-topic. I think I've explained my personal opinion on the matter.

Edited March 3, 2015 by Betweenyouandme

[maraleia]

Everyone...take the religion talk to the religion thread. We will be deleting posts that aren't in the correct thread from now on.

[Betweenyouandme]

Not that much gets on my nerves, but....

Why can't they have a cute show introduction like the Bates? The Duggars have too long an intro that's boring and the little musical parts are like what would be on a "tour our preschool" website video.

[lulu69]

To get back on track, I find the Duggars' smugness obnoxious and it really gets on my nerves. Sometimes I actually wish I could kick Jim Bob in the nuts to wipe that smug smile off his face (just a fantasy, I am not a violent person :-)

[Hpmec]

It's the intolerance that gets to me. Boob and Mullet teach their chidren homophobia and disdain for people of other religions and those who don't subscribe to their rightwing political agenda.

They are free to practice their faith and hold strong beliefs. But they don't seem to understand that tolerance, understanding, and respect for honest differences helps hold our multi-cultural country together. With them it's "My way or the highway."

[Betweenyouandme]

It's the intolerance that gets to me. Boob and Mullet teach their chidren homophobia and disdain for people of other religions and those who don't subscribe to their rightwing political agenda.

They are free to practice their faith and hold strong beliefs. But they don't seem to understand that tolerance, understanding, and respect for honest differences helps hold our multi-cultural country together. With them it's "My way or the highway."

I really agree with your last paragraph.

For me, I get confused by what "not having tolerance for intolerance" actually means and looks like in practice. I mean, specifically in what circumstances and which actions are to be taken?

It would be great if they shared more about their beliefs, but I don't know. It's like ...are they hiding their true beliefs? Or, are they trying to not act intolerant? Or, if it's even because they don't want backlash, should we be glad we don't have to hear intolerant statements?

Im trying to describe what gets on my nerves. Mostly, that they haven't found a good way to handle all this.

Edited March 3, 2015 by Betweenyouandme

[GEML]

For me it comes down to legislation. I am pretty radical in notions of belief, and would defend the Duggars (and anyone else's) right to believe anything they wish to believe. But when anyone attempts to use those beliefs to legislate those beliefs into law, I am almost always going to come down on the side of personal responsibility and personal autonomy. If you think doing X is sinful, then don't do it. Preach a sermon on it. Pray about it. Vote your conscience. But I'm tired of being told that X is Christian but not Y. I could sit here and list twenty "sins" that the Duggars do (starting with not being on time to things and being poor stewards of their time) because calling out people's sins is a cheap and easy shot. It's a lot harder to live a righteous life. To be honest, when the show started, I think the Duggars were better about that, even though they were more radically religious than they are now, actually, in their matching Polo shirts and Little House dresses. But it's almost as if they've lost their way a little bit - just enough to make them need to judge people to measure themselves to make sure they haven't gone "too far" but they've lost that confidence that they seem to have had earlier.

[galax-arena]

For me, I get confused by what "not having tolerance for intolerance" actually means and looks like in practice.

This is summed up by the saying, "Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins." 

 

I think that the following articles do a good job of breaking this down -

Tolerating Intolerance: Deconstructing The ‘Right’ To Bigotry

Tolerating Intolerance Will Not Be Tolerated Here

 

 

Or, if it's even because they don't want backlash, should we be glad we don't have to hear intolerant statements?

Personally, I'm not glad. That's another thing about the Duggars that annoys me, actually, i.e. the way they are very careful to sanitize their views on the show itself to avoid any semblance of controversy. It annoys me how so many people think that the Duggars are this nice, loving Walton-ish family based purely on what they see on the show. If they're really strong in their convictions, why not grow some cojones and start talking about their beliefs on 19 Kids? Maybe that's unfair because I assume that TLC has a hand in that decision; they don't want to lose their cash cow. So I shouldn't lay all the blame at the Duggars' feet. Although, I feel like one has to be living under a rock at this point to not be aware of what the Duggars really stand for, since they're all over the media, so I don't know how much worse it could be to be more open on the show. 

 

ETA: I should add that I checked out of the show a long time ago after hearing more and more what the Duggars were really like, so maybe the show has changed and is more transparent about their beliefs now. 

Edited March 3, 2015 by galax-arena

[Higgins]

Everyone who votes attempts to make their beliefs into law.

[Almost 3000]

Everyone who votes attempts to make their beliefs into law.

So true and the Duggars try to pass legislation that will change laws that the majority has already voted into place. I'd like to keep my rights and that is the biggest thing about them the bugs me.

[galax-arena]

Everyone who votes attempts to make their beliefs into law.

Yes, but not everyone makes voting decisions that attempt to erode the separation of church and state. Somebody wave a copy of the Treaty of Tripoli under the Duggars' noses; do you think they'd get the vapors at the realization that one of the Founding Fathers said that the US was not founded as a Christian nation and that it was unanimously ratified by the Senate? 

 

And once again, the Duggars' right to swing their fist ends where my nose begins. And sure, maybe their own belief is that they have every right to punch me in the nose, but then they can't complain when they get criticism for it. Because that's the icing on the failcake for me: the Duggars engage in bigotry and when people call them out on it, they whine about religious persecution. 

Edited March 3, 2015 by galax-arena

[GEML]

I specifically said vote your conscience. But don't tell me X vote is Christian and Y vote is not. That, to me, is where the Duggars (and plenty of others) cross the line from belief into wanting to control other people.

[Rhondinella]

Guys--the general discussion of religious beliefs (yours, mine, our, or theirs, or just . . . someone's) is spilling over into several forums when most of it is not at all directly related to the Duggars and what they believe.  We are going to 1) start deleting posts about religion outside the religion thread (as maraleia said above); and 2) even in the religion thread posts will be deleted if they are not discussing something directly related to the Duggar's beliefs and practices.

 

I get that many of you are passionate about your religious beliefs.  I am too.  But there are lots of other places online you can discuss those things if you so choose.  This site is about television, so let's try to keep things at least tangentially related thereto.  Plus, none of the mods really wants to have to referee a flame war about religion.

 

So let it be written . . . . so let it be done.

[Sew Sumi]

It bothers me that they DO complain when their opinions are challenged. Ben and Jessa have been deleting fools on social media, whether it be talking about their right to kiss as a straight married couple, to Ben's "sermons," or Jessa's latest thoughts about an angry God. They would not entertain the other point of view, down to banning people (myself included...how do they have that kind of time amongst thousands of posts?) who dare espouse something other than fawning adoration. 

 

They just want to preach to the choir, but seem to forget that once Boob decided to put their family circus in the glare of the public eye, they have to be prepared to face criticism with something other than passive/aggressive cries of persecution. It also demonstrates an appalling lack of intellect, the product of the inability to think critically.

[Rhondinella]

This ^^^^ is an example of a post about religion that is on topic.  Just FYI.

[Darknight]

And why should they if they believe their faith is true? I'm a Christian and I don't sit around studying Buddhism. I'm fairly familiar with them all because I have an interest in such things, but it's not as if it's going to change my mind.

Learning about different customs, cultures and religions doesn't always change someone's mind. But it's good to know. I know about different religions and traditions from around the world. As well as my children. I think it's good to be opened minded. Which the Duggars aren't. They think their way is the only way and anyone else is below them.

Edited March 3, 2015 by Darknight

[KatWay]

And it's one thing not to study Buddhism and not know much about it and another to basically sound like that's not a valid religion at all. Which to is what Jinger sounded like. "Those weirdos with their non-Christian beliefs" - that's some serious ignorance.

[Barb23]

Not that much gets on my nerves, but....

Why can't they have a cute show introduction like the Bates? The Duggars have too long an intro that's boring and the little musical parts are like what would be on a "tour our preschool" website video.

I think the same thing. What's funny in the intro is MEchelle has somewhat of her "makeover" hairstyle but she never wears it that way & Josh is still shown wiping off a car window at the car lot. Like another poster said, why in the picture of Jerick does Jill have to be noticeably pregnant, except that she'll be that way for the next 20 years? TLC-it's time to update. What I like in the Bates' intro is they start with the youngest & work their way up to Gil & Kelly instead of being done in birth order.

[Betweenyouandme]

Michelle looks so much better with her hair like that in the intro, imo! But, she's gotta keep JimBob happy. Fair, I guess, but yikes.

[Marigold]

Michelle's hair drives me INSANE. It gets worse and worse. Her make over hair was so darn pretty.

I see her hair and it really bugs me. It's just gross and 25 years outdated. WHY DOESN'T SHE REALIZED THAT HER HAIR IS FROM 1986????????.

[Absolom]

She looks a lot better without pinning in the ratty hair pieces also.  I'm not sure if the hair pieces or the baby voice are worse.

[Betweenyouandme]

What if a hair piece fell out in the food?...I'm going with baby voice is better. Just pretend she's talking to a baby all of the time.

[bigskygirl]

The Duggars could take a lesson from this officer.    

[floridamom]

Here's yet another thing that annoys me about they way these people rationalize their belief system:

 

A little ways back, after Michelle had just delivered one of her recent "blessings", she protested a convenience store near by because they sold beer and some alcohol....(they don't like that)...well, one can take this another step...in keeping with that mindset, derickdillard works for WalMart which sells not only beer and wine, but birth control...for males and females OTC and at the pharmacy...why does derickdillard work for such a corporation and why do they personally shop there? Wouldn't that be the same as Michelle protesting that convenience store and refusing to shop there like she publicly stated?

[ariel]

Jill and Michelle would think that a thesaurus is a dinosaur.

A dinosaur who was on this earth the same time humans were.

[Gianthambeast]

And why should they if they believe their faith is true? I'm a Christian and I don't sit around studying Buddhism.  I'm fairly familiar with them all because I have an interest in such things, but it's not as if it's going to change my mind.

Yeah but I bet you don't go on anti-Catholic rants without really knowing anything about Catholicism  the way Ben does.  He probably doesn't even know much about the history of Christianity, let alone the practice of other religions.