S03.E01 Nine Bucks

[ams1001]

8 hours ago, Kirkydee said:

One line I see people didn't pick up is everybody saying "wow, what a game"- Becca is like " huh, what game". 

I laughed at that line, because that'd be me. I live in NJ. We have Eagles fans in the south, Giants and Jets fans in the north (my cousin is a central-Jerseyan moved South and is in a mixed Giants/Eagles marriage with his south-Jersey-raised wife; their respective friends had fun getting their kids Giants or Eagles gear when they were born just to rib the spouse). I know next to nothing of football (I root for the Giants for the sole reason that my dad hates them). I might recognize some players' names but I'd be hard-pressed to tell you what team they're on.

 

2 hours ago, ZuluQueenOfDwarves said:

You’re probably not old, This is Us just almost certainly has a large demographic that doesn’t know a damn thing about football. Case in point, I’ve lived in Philadelphia my whole life, was at my parents’ while the Super Bowl was on, watched the final play (I think), and the next day, when tasked to name five Eagles players, couldn’t get past two. 

My friend had game night (board games) with the Superbowl on in the room, and I couldn't have named all the people at game night, let alone who was playing on TV. ?

Edited September 30, 2018 by ams1001

[seacliffsal]

I may not last the season.  I think they were being too "clever" with the Franco Harris connection (and I was a Raiders fan back in the day).  Starting off by confusing many viewers doesn't really bode well for the season.  I'm also tired of Kate's crisis of the day.  I, too, am overweight and it is so hard to lose weight.  However, I don't make every single thing in my life relate back to my weight.  I also feel that she just continues to be over the top self-centered.

Randall is starting to exhaust me.  Why not just tell Deja in a sincere and honest way that they love her and want her to be a part of their lives?  I am also confused with Randall and Beth buying that building that his bio dad had been living in.  What is their goal?  How are they going to use the building?

I also had to hand wave a lot of how Jack and Rebecca met because we had already seen it.  And, he had a mustache the first time we saw it...

For me, the highlight was Kevin.  Go figure.

[ams1001]

9 minutes ago, seacliffsal said:

Randall is starting to exhaust me.  Why not just tell Deja in a sincere and honest way that they love her and want her to be a part of their lives? 

Yeah, everything does not need to be a big, over-the-top "moment"...this didn't need an hour+ drive to a building she has no connection to as a build-up for her to hear they want to keep her with them. Also, I feel like that's something both parents should have told her together. It's not all about Randall. (Well, it is, obviously, but it shouldn't be.)

[izabella]

51 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

Also, I feel like that's something both parents should have told her together. It's not all about Randall. (Well, it is, obviously, but it shouldn't be.)

I think they should have told her as a family, with Tess and Annie.  Should I assume they talked with Tess and Annie about it?  Did they do that and I missed it?  I would have liked to see that. 

I mentioned before, the whole football tie in meant nothing to me.  I didn't realize they were going for some metaphor.  I just thought it's another Steelers thing to pinpoint time and their general love of football being part of this show. 

Honestly, when we first saw Franco waking up and leaving the house and getting on a bus, I thought he was someone who had been drafted and was heading to Vietnam, probably because I thought we were told they would be focusing more on Jack in Vietnam this season.  So I thought Franco was someone who would be in his platoon.  Not that I want to see Jack in Vietnam.  Nor do I want to see another season of how Jack and Rebecca fall in love - can we move along, please?  I get it already - Jack thought she was out of his league and somehow overcame the odds against him and won her over. I want to see what happens with the family after Jack dies.

Edited September 30, 2018 by izabella

[ams1001]

17 minutes ago, izabella said:

I think they should have told her as a family, with Tess and Annie.  Should I assume they talked with Tess and Annie about it?  Did they do that and I missed it?  I would have liked to see that. 

Agreed, it really should be a family discussion. I don't remember if they showed them talking to the girls (not in this ep, at least; I don't think they did last season, either). I'l just have to assume they had some kind of off-screen conversation with their daughters before making this decision. Though I can also understand having just the parents (both parents!) tell/ask Deja about officially adopting her, since she's bound to at least have mixed feelings about the whole situation and maybe the other girls don't need to be there in that moment to see her possibly get upset.

[MissLucas]

22 minutes ago, izabella said:

I think they should have told her as a family, with Tess and Annie.  Should I assume they talked with Tess and Annie about it?  Did they do that and I missed it?  I would have liked to see that. 

How Tess and Annie are handled/written within the Deja plot is one of the most infuriating aspects of the show. 

[Clanstarling]

2 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

I may not last the season.  I think they were being too "clever" with the Franco Harris connection (and I was a Raiders fan back in the day). 

Compadre!

[ChromaKelly]

4 hours ago, MissLucas said:

How Tess and Annie are handled/written within the Deja plot is one of the most infuriating aspects of the show. 

Yes, there's really a lot of story that could be told with Tess and Annie in regards to Deja, but they are glossing over it. It's generally not recommended for children to be adopted out of birth order because it messes with the dynamics of the children already in the family. Imagine being displaced as the oldest child. This gets more difficult the older the children are. Interesting that they haven't shown much resentment from Tess and Annie either to all the attention being diverted to a newcomer.

[ErinV]

1. I sort of liked the Immaculate Reception tie-in, and interesting how they portrayed Harris’ family.  But I’m from Pittsburgh, so.  Pretty sure he won’t be a recurring character.

2.  Rebecca couldn’t buy her own umbrella at the fair?  Or treat him to something since he paid their admission?

3.  If a guy gave me that “I feel at home with you” speech on a FIRST DATE, I would run for the hills.  I normally love Jack but the moody drama on this date was not good.

[breezy424]

It has always bugged me that TPTB want to give this illusion that Philadelphia is a hop, skip and a jump from Alpine, NJ.  It's not.  Do any of them actually have any knowledge of the East Coast?  Yep, Randall's dad just took the bus to Phillie to feed the cat.  Kevin just did a jump to Pittsburgh.  I get for some that it's not a big deal but if you're from or familiar with the area you're just WTF.  It just bugs.

Just a mention:  Dating back then was different.  So it didn't surprise me that Jack would insist on paying for the umbrella and Becca didn't push it.

The whole adoption theme was ridiculous.  This is so much more complicated than the story TPTB are selling us.

[maddie965]

On 28/09/2018 at 1:39 PM, Clanstarling said:

I find the opinions that Kate and Toby are not fit to raise children because one is very overweight and one (until this episode) has depression issues that have been controlled through meds, simply astounding.

Not only are there many well raised children with parents with these very issues, there are many families with parents with worse physical issues (say, blindness, deafness, partial paralysis, the list goes on). By implication, anyone with a physical challenge shouldn't have children. 

There are definitely a lot of people who shouldn't have children, but I've never included people who actually love and want children in that category.

Thank you. I was reading some posts and finding them so incredbly biased. Obese people can't have children? People with depression issues can't have children? What kind of world is this, because it's certainly not somewhere I want to live.

[maddie965]

On 29/09/2018 at 12:16 AM, Court said:

I don't know why I keep forgetting it's totally cool to fat shame everybody.

Me neither. Guess I shoud accept that obesity is a horrible disease caused by people who are not able to control what they eat and therefore do not deserve to have sex (Toby) or have children (Kate). Oh, and when someone tells an obese person that she can't have children, she's not allowed to feel bad. Even if she already lost a child. I mean, it's all her fault for being obese, right? Just go on and lose some pounds! How difficult can that be?

Or worse yet: it's all the actress fault, for not "being able" to lose weight like the producers wanted. Because clearly being obese or not is a simple choice, and not a very complex and delicate condition.

I don't mind all the Kate hate. God knows I hate what the writers are doing with her.

But fat shaming is just plain wrong. 

ETA. Sorry for the double post.

Edited October 1, 2018 by maddie965

[endure]

On 2018-09-25 at 8:38 PM, WhosThatGirl said:

Yeah.. her “bad break” is something she can work on and change. I get that losing weight is tough but she has sort of been told she needs to change it to have a baby.  And she knows she has a weight problem, she went to a group to work on it. 

Carrying a baby to term at her current weight is going to be a lot more difficult and dangerous than trying to lose some weight and what about the increased risk of carrying multiples which is another risk of IVF.

[bros402]

3 hours ago, breezy424 said:

It has always bugged me that TPTB want to give this illusion that Philadelphia is a hop, skip and a jump from Alpine, NJ.  It's not.  Do any of them actually have any knowledge of the East Coast?  Yep, Randall's dad just took the bus to Phillie to feed the cat.  Kevin just did a jump to Pittsburgh.  I get for some that it's not a big deal but if you're from or familiar with the area you're just WTF.  It just bugs.

Just a mention:  Dating back then was different.  So it didn't surprise me that Jack would insist on paying for the umbrella and Becca didn't push it.

The whole adoption theme was ridiculous.  This is so much more complicated than the story TPTB are selling us.

Come and join us in the minutiae topic, we love steeping ourselves in things like this

[IDreamofJoaquin]

This is the first time the show made me want to fast forward.  Kate's birthday scene was so dreary. 

But cute cake!!!

[Clanstarling]

9 hours ago, breezy424 said:

It has always bugged me that TPTB want to give this illusion that Philadelphia is a hop, skip and a jump from Alpine, NJ.  It's not.  Do any of them actually have any knowledge of the East Coast?  Yep, Randall's dad just took the bus to Phillie to feed the cat.  Kevin just did a jump to Pittsburgh.  I get for some that it's not a big deal but if you're from or familiar with the area you're just WTF.  It just bugs.

I learned young to just ignore it and/or laugh at it. The Sound of Music, shot in my hometown, has Maria (Julie Andrews) running from a field on the Untersberg to downtown Salzburg in no time flat and only a little winded. Except that she's on, you know, an Alp, and the run is a minimum of 20 or 30 miles if not more (never bothered to measure). So it's become a favorite snark point for me.

Edited October 1, 2018 by Clanstarling

[Katy M]

10 hours ago, breezy424 said:

It has always bugged me that TPTB want to give this illusion that Philadelphia is a hop, skip and a jump from Alpine, NJ.  It's not.

According to Google it's less than 2 hours away, which I do consider a hop, skip, and a jump.

[Kira53]

On 9/26/2018 at 11:10 AM, Blakeston said:

I never thought Franco Harris was supposed to be Deja's father, because everything about his scenes screamed "1970's", and Deja would have been conceived around 2004. And I would desperately hope that someone who was an adult in the '70s wouldn't be Deja's father, because her mother was a teenager 30 years later when she had Deja.

As for Toby flushing the meds, I can unfortunately say that I completely believed it. People toss their antidepressants all the time in real life for even worse reasons. (As in, "I feel pretty happy now, so I don't need these pills anymore," or "I've just experienced a mild sexual side effect, so eff this!") Obviously it's not smart to quit antidepressants cold turkey, but it's sadly common.

Also, characters behaving super-impulsively is just part of the show, and I think the writers have done a pretty good job explaining it. Jack was ridiculously impulsive, and Rebecca thought it was charming and encouraged it. Which led to their kids adopting the same behavior. And of course Kate would fall for a man who acts like the father she idolized.

You explained these three things so perfectly.

[CleoCaesar]

16 hours ago, ChromaKelly said:

Interesting that they haven't shown much resentment from Tess and Annie either to all the attention being diverted to a newcomer.

During the last season finale I thought the "she" adult Tess and old Randall are visiting is Annie in prison, after Annie's resentment at Deja's arrival boils over in her teen years.

That would actually be a cool, interesting story. Realistic too. But I guess we need to show more of Kate's whiny pity parties and Randall's insane over-the-top gestures instead.

[Blakeston]

22 hours ago, ams1001 said:

Yeah, everything does not need to be a big, over-the-top "moment"...this didn't need an hour+ drive to a building she has no connection to as a build-up for her to hear they want to keep her with them. Also, I feel like that's something both parents should have told her together. It's not all about Randall. (Well, it is, obviously, but it shouldn't be.)

But then Randall wouldn't be able to rub it in Deja's face that he got to have a fulfilling reconciliation with his loving birth father, knowing fully well that will probably never happen for her!

Seriously, if he had to bring her somewhere, why not the fire station? Then he could at least highlight that he knows what it's like to be abandoned by a birth parent. That's something they actually have in common.

It's getting harder and harder to believe that Randall has the emotional maturity necessary to successfully maintain a marriage, and raise children.

Edited October 1, 2018 by Blakeston

[Katy M]

9 minutes ago, Blakeston said:

Seriously, if he had to bring her somewhere, why not the fire station? Then he could at least highlight that he knows what it's like to be abandoned by a birth parent. That's something they actually have in common.

Or why not just be able to tell a story without a field trip being necessary?

[ChromaKelly]

24 minutes ago, CleoCaesar said:

During the last season finale I thought the "she" adult Tess and old Randall are visiting is Annie in prison, after Annie's resentment at Deja's arrival boils over in her teen years.

That would actually be a cool, interesting story. Realistic too. But I guess we need to show more of Kate's whiny pity parties and Randall's insane over-the-top gestures instead.

It would be an interesting story, but I don't want poor Annie in prison! She's one of the Pearsons I still like.

3 hours ago, Katy M said:

According to Google it's less than 2 hours away, which I do consider a hop, skip, and a jump.

I consider anything over an hour to be "far". I mean, I'd go to something special two hours away, but I wouldn't just drop by someone's house or routinely go there just to stare at a building or whatever.

[heatherchandler]

On 9/26/2018 at 5:46 AM, mojoween said:

I’m curious how Deja’s mother could just waltz into court and say “the father is fine with not having any say in this” and the judge is like “ok sure!”

I mean, if that was the father, he’s a healthy-looking employed fellow.  Courts don’t just take an unreliable mother’s word that he’s not interested, they would have used any means necessary to track him down and make sure there were documents about this.

I get that it was probably truncated for time but it would have been better if the judge had a throwaway line like “and we have the papers where the father relinquished custody,” not make it look like it was all done on Deja’s mother’s say-so.

 

On 9/26/2018 at 10:38 AM, Katy M said:

But, that's not legal.  Unless there was no father listed on the birth certificate, in which case I would doubt Deja would know who he was.  The judge would have something legally from the father and that was just said allowed for the record.

 

 

This is, in fact how it can happen.  I have a friend who adopted a baby, through private adoption a few years ago.  The birth mother was asked this question in court, and she answered that she had reached out to the father and he is fine with the adoption.  She did not have to provide any documentation or even give his name, her word was taken and the adoption went through.

My friend mentioned this to me because I asked about the birth father and she said that the birth mother was very vague about him and she thinks she may have never cotacted him at all.  She didn't want to question the birth mother, of course, and accuse her of any wrong-doing.  

I am not sure if this is how it is done when the adoption is not private.  But I believe Deja's adoption would be considered private.

 

On 9/26/2018 at 9:31 AM, Enigma X said:

I am a woman going through the IUI process which may become the IVF process and have to say, rightly or wrongly, I do understand Kate's feeling of not getting a break. I am not saying it is a true feeling for Kate, but it seems real for some who want to carry their own child. It is easy for those people who don't understand that feeling to speak down on it. It is emotional and dramatic in real life and can only be portrayed the same on TV.

 

I hope that you have success - I  absolutely agree, it really is hard for people who have not gone through it to understand.  I did not do IVF, but I did have some issues.  When I was going through it, it was all that mattered.  I was having trouble sleeping and I would wake up in the night with a knot in my stomach.  I could barely focus during the day.  Before I started trying to get pregnant, I didn't think about it at all - it was only after finding out that I have PCOS and after 6 months of trying, did I start to full-on panic.  It was hell.  

[Katy M]

30 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

 

This is, in fact how it can happen.  I have a friend who adopted a baby, through private adoption a few years ago.  The birth mother was asked this question in court, and she answered that she had reached out to the father and he is fine with the adoption.  She did not have to provide any documentation or even give his name, her word was taken and the adoption went through.

My friend mentioned this to me because I asked about the birth father and she said that the birth mother was very vague about him and she thinks she may have never cotacted him at all.  She didn't want to question the birth mother, of course, and accuse her of any wrong-doing.  

I am not sure if this is how it is done when the adoption is not private.  But I believe Deja's adoption would be considered private.

Your friend had better hope birth father doesn't come forward and claim that he was never notified.  That would be so heartbreaking for your friend and that child for her/him to be given back to father.

[heatherchandler]

1 hour ago, Katy M said:

Your friend had better hope birth father doesn't come forward and claim that he was never notified.  That would be so heartbreaking for your friend and that child for her/him to be given back to father.

Once the adoption is final, I don't believe it can be reversed.  According to their lawyer - even if some man came forward claiming to be the father, I don't believe he would have any legal standing to claim the child.  He was never on the birth certificate.

[Katy M]

23 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

Once the adoption is final, I don't believe it can be reversed.  According to their lawyer - even if some man came forward claiming to be the father, I don't believe he would have any legal standing to claim the child.  He was never on the birth certificate.

I was under the impression that women weren't allowed to steal the babies out from under fathers like that, but maybe the laws have changed since then.

[heatherchandler]

1 minute ago, Katy M said:

I was under the impression that women weren't allowed to steal the babies out from under fathers like that, but maybe the laws have changed since then.

I don't even know if she did speak to him or not, just that my friend had some doubts.  In any case, I don't know the laws, I only know that the courts will indeed take a woman's word.  And that's all I want to say, as I don't want to get too far away from discussing the episode.

[Clanstarling]

8 minutes ago, Katy M said:

I was under the impression that women weren't allowed to steal the babies out from under fathers like that, but maybe the laws have changed since then.

Can you steal what's been thrown away?

[ams1001]

20 hours ago, breezy424 said:

It has always bugged me that TPTB want to give this illusion that Philadelphia is a hop, skip and a jump from Alpine, NJ.  It's not.  Do any of them actually have any knowledge of the East Coast?  Yep, Randall's dad just took the bus to Phillie to feed the cat.  Kevin just did a jump to Pittsburgh.  I get for some that it's not a big deal but if you're from or familiar with the area you're just WTF.  It just bugs.

If they were going to NYC, that'd make sense. Google says about 55 minute drive. (Did Kevin drive or fly to Pittsburgh? If he flew, that's kind of a jump (an hour and a half or so from NYC, apparently), but driving, no.)

 

16 hours ago, bros402 said:

Come and join us in the minutiae topic, we love steeping ourselves in things like this

Ooh, I'll have to check that out.

 

10 hours ago, Katy M said:

According to Google it's less than 2 hours away, which I do consider a hop, skip, and a jump.

It's not too bad, but Deja did say they drove an hour, which is not realistic unless Randall drives really fast and/or has some sort of traffic-clearing magic. I have been known to drive 6 hours round trip in one day just to spend a few hours with my college friends in central PA (it's been several years since I last did that, though). A day trip to Philly or NYC from my house (roughly the same time, depending on traffic) is certainly no big deal, but just to go see a building and monologue at your foster kid seems like a waste of time and gas. Show her a picture and monologue at home.

 

7 hours ago, Blakeston said:

But then Randall wouldn't be able to rub it in Deja's face that he got to have a fulfilling reconciliation with his loving birth father, knowing fully well that will probably never happen for her!

Seriously, if he had to bring her somewhere, why not the fire station? Then he could at least highlight that he knows what it's like to be abandoned by a birth parent. That's something they actually have in common.

It's getting harder and harder to believe that Randall has the emotional maturity necessary to successfully maintain a marriage, and raise children.

 

Good points, all. I like the fire station idea. But then that was in Pittsburgh, and that'd be like, a 2 hour drive for them, apparently (maybe two and a half...).

 

6 hours ago, Katy M said:

Or why not just be able to tell a story without a field trip being necessary?

What, like sit down together at the kitchen table or something and just have a conversation? Who even does that?!

 

6 hours ago, ChromaKelly said:

It would be an interesting story, but I don't want poor Annie in prison! She's one of the Pearsons I still like.

I consider anything over an hour to be "far". I mean, I'd go to something special two hours away, but I wouldn't just drop by someone's house or routinely go there just to stare at a building or whatever.

Given traffic in the tri-state area here (near the cities, at least) an hour might not actually be very far, mileage-wise. Alpine is 25 miles from NYC (give or take a few depending on what route you take) and Google's directions give just under an hour to drive it. I have a friend in a rural area where my biggest concern is deer and she's 26 miles and 40 minutes from me. Certainly can be aggravating, though. (My brother and I drove to Asheville, NC, a few years ago for a wedding and I realized just how small New Jersey really is in comparison to NC or Virginia, let alone, like, Texas.

Edited October 1, 2018 by ams1001

[TwoGrayTabbies]

It varies on the particular circumstances but there certainly are situations where an adoption can be reversed if the father was never notified.  I hope the adoptive mother in the scenario referenced above was mistaken as to the particulars; otherwise, there was a due process violation that could blow up in the future.

[doodlebug]

26 minutes ago, TwoGrayTabbies said:

It varies on the particular circumstances but there certainly are situations where an adoption can be reversed if the father was never notified.  I hope the adoptive mother in the scenario referenced above was mistaken as to the particulars; otherwise, there was a due process violation that could blow up in the future.

I think in this situation, where Deja has had no relationship whatsoever with her biological father and is now in her teens, her wishes would be a very important factor in any decision on the adoption.  I cannot picture any judge awarding visitation between a man and a 15 year old girl who doesn't know him at all, let alone granting him custody.  Because of Deja's age and lack of any significant contact with her father to this point in her life, getting his permission for an adoption is not as big a deal as it would be if she were younger.

[bros402]

7 hours ago, ams1001 said:

If they were going to NYC, that'd make sense. Google says about 55 minute drive. (Did Kevin drive or fly to Pittsburgh? If he flew, that's kind of a jump (an hour and a half or so from NYC, apparently), but driving, no.)

 

Ooh, I'll have to check that out.

 

It's not too bad, but Deja did say they drove an hour, which is not realistic unless Randall drives really fast and/or has some sort of traffic-clearing magic. I have been known to drive 6 hours round trip in one day just to spend a few hours with my college friends in central PA (it's been several years since I last did that, though). A day trip to Philly or NYC from my house (roughly the same time, depending on traffic) is certainly no big deal, but just to go see a building and monologue at your foster kid seems like a waste of time and gas. Show her a picture and monologue at home.

 

Good points, all. I like the fire station idea. But then that was in Pittsburgh, and that'd be like, a 2 hour drive for them, apparently (maybe two and a half...).

 

What, like sit down together at the kitchen table or something and just have a conversation? Who even does that?!

 

Given traffic in the tri-state area here (near the cities, at least) an hour might not actually be very far, mileage-wise. Alpine is 25 miles from NYC (give or take a few depending on what route you take) and Google's directions give just under an hour to drive it. I have a friend in a rural area where my biggest concern is deer and she's 26 miles and 40 minutes from me. Certainly can be aggravating, though. (My brother and I drove to Asheville, NC, a few years ago for a wedding and I realized just how small New Jersey really is in comparison to NC or Virginia, let alone, like, Texas.

Alpine to Pittsburgh is 6 hr 25 min - https://www.google.com/maps/dir/Alpine,+New+Jersey/Pittsburgh,+Pennsylvania/

[IDreamofJoaquin]

14 hours ago, Katy M said:

Or why not just be able to tell a story without a field trip being necessary?

That was a funny part when Deja was telling her bio dad "they want me so much they plan out weird conversations to have with me".

[Nanners]

Remember when Randall could do no wrong? TIU is really ruining my crush w/ SKB. 

I thought they were being ambiguous about Deja’s father relinquishing his rights on purpose so you would think that Deja was trying to rekindle her relationship with her father, and might be successful like Randall was. 

And thank god Deja called bullshit on them being similar, that’s been annoying me since last season.

I actually grew up one town over from Alpine and live outside and work in Philly now.  Without traffic, 2 hours is pretty accurate, when there is zero traffic.  But Bergen County is the most densely populated counties in the country, so ... 

And it’s funny that it takes 40 minutes from Alpine to get to NYC considering you can SEE NYC from Alpine, it’s a 10 minute drive to get to the George Washington Bridge ... it would take almost the same amount of time for me to get to NYC via train from Rutgers as driving in from Alpine area.

[Katy M]

19 hours ago, ams1001 said:

but just to go see a building and monologue at your foster kid seems like a waste of time and gas.

This Randall we're talking about.  No amount of time or gas is too great for the perfect monologue set up.

[Sandman]

On 9/25/2018 at 10:48 PM, tennisgurl said:

Kevin and the girls are such a great combination, they make me so happy. Beth was right, he talks to them like adults (to an extent) and you can tell how much they appreciate that. The girls are so cute, and Kevin is really good with them.

I like the consistency in the way this relationship in particular is portrayed. When the family connections were introduced (as I recall) in the first season, Kevin's bond with these two seemed almost to be our entry into the family relationships that bind the "Us" together. Or maybe I should say that's where I first began to notice it. I thought at first that the girls were calling him "Uncle" Kevin out of affection, rather than because of a true family link. It seems that his relationship with his nieces was a big source of warmth and support for him, even when he was at his lowest points. And it's his scene with Annie and Tess, after all, that becomes the source of the show's title. l really liked that Beth recognizes the depth and genuineness of his connection with his nieces, and loves him for it. I thought their scene was a nice twist on what we've seen from Beth before; we know she can be fiercely protective of her family; it's clear this extends to her "bro-in-law" as well as Randall -- and for a similar need for protection, as least as Beth sees it. I love the balance of teasing and astuteness and tenderness in Beth, and I love the humour that Susan Kelechi Watson brings to this -- her timing is so sharp, it might be digital.

And Randall does have the family self-involvement down -- but the show implicitly undercuts Deja's point that they have less in common than Randall believes, by giving her a mirror-image confrontation with her own bio-dad in the first episode of the third season. She's doing almost exactly what Randall did in the pilot, right down to the "I don't need you, bio dad!" portion of the festivities. (I love this damn show, I do; but having Randall tell her in this episode all about his own confrontation moved things from parallelism to ... I don't know, on-the-nose ... elism? We. Get. It. Dan. Yeesh.) 

Is Rebecca supposed to come from money? Or just more middle class than Jack's family? There seemed to be more of a "they come from two different worlds!" divide between them in the flashbacks than I remembered from the first season -- or maybe it's just that Not-Logan looked like a WASPy rich boy to me. (Still hate Logan Frickin' Hunsberger, in case anyone cares to know.)

Speaking of people on other shows, what was with the Party of Five shout-outs? "This Is Us: We're Just Like Party of Five, but with more olds -- and dead people."?) I loved Party of Five, too (my first experience of online message boards came out of what we called "Our Beloved Po5,") but -- what was that?

On 10/1/2018 at 9:13 AM, Clanstarling said:

Except that she's on, you know, an Alp, and the run is a minimum of 20 or 30 miles if not more (never bothered to measure). So it's become a favorite snark point for me.

Wait -- nuns can all fly, right? (What?)

Edited October 5, 2018 by Sandman
"Nephews"? WTF?

[tennisgurl]

49 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Is Rebecca supposed to come from money? Or just more middle class than Jack's family?

We dont get it into a whole lot, but Rebecca does seem to be from a wealthier family than Jack, with her super WASPY disapproving, racist mother. I dont know how much richer, but they definitely come from more money than Jack.

I feel for Kate and her feelings that she is stuck with her body, but her letting it all out in the middle of her big fancy birthday surrounded by her happy friends and husband makes it seem like a Debbie Downer sketch. "We love you Kate!" "I would love it if I could have kids...which I cant" *muah muah muaaaaaah* And I get how when your in a bad mood, and your feeling down on yourself, its easy to be all "my life sucks everything is awful", but doing it while in the middle of the aforementioned fancy party thrown by her bestie and her many friends makes it kind of hard to take. And its not like Kate is very smiley happy in general, she is usually sad or angry or just kind of melancholy. 

[Sandman]

7 hours ago, tennisgurl said:

Rebecca does seem to be from a wealthier family than Jack, with her super WASPY disapproving, racist mother. I don't know how much richer, but they definitely come from more money than Jack.

I thought about Kate's disapproving Mother after I posted; I can imagine her thinking Jack wasn't ever good enough for Kate.

[himela]

On 9/26/2018 at 6:25 PM, chaifan said:

Yes!  This!  Does every single plot line involving Kate have to revolve around her weight?  On one hand, I get it - at that extreme of a weight her weight would probably have an impact on most things in her life.  But as an overweight woman myself, watching a tv show for entertainment purposes, it is just so very tiring and repetitive, and boring.  At this point you could fast forward over every scene with Kate and it wouldn't make a difference to anything else going on in the show.  Give her a job and show her with some non-weight related work issues, or something, for cripes sake.  I would think as an actor it has to get boring for her, too.

I only watched the episode today and I have to comment on this.

I think that all overweight people' lives are surrounded with their weight "issue". How you wake up, what clothes you will choose to hide the extra weight, how people will look at you, how you feel about yourself. I don't think that obese people ever forget about the weight issue. It comes up all the time. I got to know it.

Also I don't know if anyone will read this cause you all must be in next week episode's discussion but I have to say that I find Kate delusional. There are women half her weight who have trouble getting pregnant and they find it normal. How can she possibly not see that she is way too obese to even be healthy, let alone getting pregnant and having a baby and raising it? I understand her need to be a mother but I find the time she is spending chasing a ghost really moot. The doctor was really soft with her critique the first time. I have heard way worse things from doctors about the need to lose weight. And then calling her back and giving her a 10% to get pregnant? I don't buy that. Or maybe they just want the money that comes with it. Kate needs to stop thinking she us a normal person who is entitled in a normal life. She isn't. I don't mean to be fat shaming people, I am obese myself, but realistically she has to see that being obese she can't expect to have a totally normal life. At least she has a husband who loves her, she has a job, she has people around her who care for her. A pregnancy requires fit and healthy people. How can she expect to have a pregnancy being that overweight?

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, himela said:

I think that all overweight people' lives are surrounded with their weight "issue". How you wake up, what clothes you will choose to hide the extra weight, how people will look at you, how you feel about yourself. I don't think that obese people ever forget about the weight issue. It comes up all the time. I got to know it.

I agree and disagree with you at the same time. I never forget that I’m fat in the same way I never forget I have brown skin, but I don’t think my weight effects every single decision of my life. However I can still move comfortably in my daily life, sit in airplane seats without extenders, ride amusement park rides etc, I’m 5’7 and 16/18W, so heavy but in today’s world not out of the ordinary. 

Theres a big difference between heavier than ideal and getting to the point where your weight can disable you. 

As far as Kate being surprised about her difficulty getting pregnant, I don’t think she’s intellectually surprised, but this isn’t about intellect or statistics it’s about emotion. I cannot speak about the struggles of infertility (I’m happily childfree) but we all know of people who do all sorts of unhealthy things with their bodies and still get what they want (like being pregnant etc) and those that do “everything right” and have difficulty conceiving (or health problems) for unexplained reasons. That’s just the human condition. 

 

 Tons of unhealthy unfit women get pregnant every day without wanting to be (and manage to have healthy kids), I can see Kate being upset she’s not pregnant when she actually wants to be.

I don’t agree with her being less than respectful to her Mom about things though.

[himela]

3 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I agree and disagree with you at the same time. I never forget that I’m fat in the same way I never forget I have brown skin, but I don’t think my weight effects every single decision of my life. However I can still move comfortably in my daily life, sit in airplane seats without extenders, ride amusement park rides etc, I’m 5’7 and 16/18W, so heavy but in today’s world not out of the ordinary. 

Theres a big difference between heavier than ideal and getting to the point where your weight can disable you. 

As far as Kate being surprised about her difficulty getting pregnant, I don’t think she’s intellectually surprised, but this isn’t about intellect or statistics it’s about emotion. I cannot speak about the struggles of infertility (I’m happily childfree) but we all know of people who do all sorts of unhealthy things with their bodies and still get what they want (like being pregnant etc) and those that do “everything right” and have difficulty conceiving (or health problems) for unexplained reasons. That’s just the human condition. 

 

 Tons of unhealthy unfit women get pregnant every day without wanting to be (and manage to have healthy kids), I can see Kate being upset she’s not pregnant when she actually wants to be.

I don’t agree with her being less than respectful to her Mom about things though.

Sure, weird things happen when it has to do with pregnancy and health issues that can't be explained. We do hear every now and then a perfectly fit and healthy 20 year old dying of heart attack or a really overweight woman having 5 kids. But is this the norm? How many people actually live with constant health issues taking medicine for years and years and in the end they die young cause of them? I guess way many but we never hear about them because, well it's normal and expected.

I am sure Kate has heard many times in her 38 years of life that her weight will not keep her healthy for long more. I am almost 38 myself and with half Kate's weight (I guess) and I have doctors yelling at me all the time and looking at me in a mean and heartless way about my weight. It's not normal that Kate acts that surprised when she hears that at her age and with her weight the doctor does not want to proceed with IVF. I would never get to the point to ask a doctor to do that, let alone being surprised about it. And she was wondering whether her weight was the reason she lost the baby. I find all this behavior bizarre.

[Scarlett45]

8 hours ago, himela said:

And she was wondering whether her weight was the reason she lost the baby. I find all this behavior bizarre.

Denial maybe? Perhaps Kate never thought she’d get married or want to have children and it’s brought up a lot of emotions (especially about Jack). I agree with you that it’s not logical but it’s not atypical to me if that makes sense. My Mom is has been an Ob/Gyn for 42 years (just a bit longer than our @doodlebug) and I’ve heard tons of stories like this....(of women in similar situations reacting the way Kate has reacted). 

[SueB]

I didn't know it was Franco Harris til he put on the Jersey.  Still not quite sure of the connection with the Pearsons.

LOVED Beth telling Kevin she loves him.  Seriously.  I NEEDED that.

[SunnyBeBe]

On 10/5/2018 at 2:41 PM, himela said:

I only watched the episode today and I have to comment on this.

I think that all overweight people' lives are surrounded with their weight "issue". How you wake up, what clothes you will choose to hide the extra weight, how people will look at you, how you feel about yourself. I don't think that obese people ever forget about the weight issue. It comes up all the time. I got to know it.

Also I don't know if anyone will read this cause you all must be in next week episode's discussion but I have to say that I find Kate delusional. There are women half her weight who have trouble getting pregnant and they find it normal. How can she possibly not see that she is way too obese to even be healthy, let alone getting pregnant and having a baby and raising it? I understand her need to be a mother but I find the time she is spending chasing a ghost really moot. The doctor was really soft with her critique the first time. I have heard way worse things from doctors about the need to lose weight. And then calling her back and giving her a 10% to get pregnant? I don't buy that. Or maybe they just want the money that comes with it. Kate needs to stop thinking she us a normal person who is entitled in a normal life. She isn't. I don't mean to be fat shaming people, I am obese myself, but realistically she has to see that being obese she can't expect to have a totally normal life. At least she has a husband who loves her, she has a job, she has people around her who care for her. A pregnancy requires fit and healthy people. How can she expect to have a pregnancy being that overweight?

Kate has a job?

[himela]

3 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Kate has a job?

Doesn't she occasionally sing at various places?

[SunnyBeBe]

2 minutes ago, himela said:

Doesn't she occasionally sing at various places?

Oh, well, yes. She did used to do that, but, I didn't realize she was still doing it.  I thought she got disillusioned when she didn't get that singing job.  You do make some excellent points though. 

Edited October 6, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[doodlebug]

59 minutes ago, himela said:

Doesn't she occasionally sing at various places?

I think that’s a job if you’re in high school, not a job if you’re in your mid 30’s.  Maybe Kevin paid her really well and she saved a bunch of money; but Kate has only had a full time ‘real’ job for maybe a month in the past 2 years and it’s never been addressed as to exactly what she does all day or how she affords LA prices except that her boyfriend now husband, pays all her bills.

Weve also seen her unrealistic expectations regarding her music career. She was a mediocre singer as a kid and no better now.  If she really wants a singing career, it’d be nice to hear she’s taking voice lessons or studying piano or musical composition or something.  Seeing her demand respect as a professional while doing absolutely nothing to earn if doesn’t make the character very endearing.

[Driad]

If we saw Kate doing something like teaching music to young children (and doing it pretty well), that might improve some viewers' opinion of her financial responsibility and desire for a family.

Edited October 7, 2018 by Driad

[himela]

7 hours ago, doodlebug said:

how she affords LA prices except that her boyfriend now husband, pays all her bills.

 

Her clothes alone must be very expensive. They must be made on demand and each of them must cost a fortune. All clothes for overweight people even in stores are overpriced, let alone the ones that you should buy the cloth and make the tailor make them for you.

[drafan]

On 9/30/2018 at 10:06 PM, ErinV said:

1. I sort of liked the Immaculate Reception tie-in, and interesting how they portrayed Harris’ family.  But I’m from Pittsburgh, so.  Pretty sure he won’t be a recurring character.

2.  Rebecca couldn’t buy her own umbrella at the fair?  Or treat him to something since he paid their admission?

3.  If a guy gave me that “I feel at home with you” speech on a FIRST DATE, I would run for the hills.  I normally love Jack but the moody drama on this date was not good.

(Finally got around to watching this)

Must add:

4. Was this fair in Pennsylvania? There were Christmas decorations at the fair and in another scene. Rebecca was in a sleeveless halter dress with a skinny little jacket. Then she took it off. Brrrr.......  So...when are there fairs at night in PA in the winter?  And who dresses like that in the NE?

5. Why does young Jack only talk out of the right side of his mouth?

6. They just met and it was her idea to "go somewhere else", so why did he have to pay for everything?  And she kept wanting stuff cuz she thinks she's so cute. It wasn't really a "date".

Ken Olin is the master of this craziness. I can tell. (I've seen all his other series.) I'm waiting for his RL wife to appear as a vixen in the past, ready to snatch up Jack.