Amber: A Rill Woman Goes to Gel

[brandyelf]

Creepy is right! I just can't get over the fact that he tried for Jenelle first. Jenelle! That alone would be enough for me to say thanks, but no thanks.

[cheatincheetos]

Creepy is right! I just can't get over the fact that he tried for Jenelle first. Jenelle! That alone would be enough for me to say thanks, but no thanks.

I loved the bit in the article where Farrah praised Amber as the most stable OG mom "other than myself". Perchance Farrah had "sedentary" and "stable" confused.

[NikSac]

I loved the bit in the article where Farrah praised Amber as the most stable OG mom "other than myself". Perchance Farrah had "sedentary" and "stable" confused.

 

Wow... when Farrah and Amber are the most stable moms, I guess that's when you know the bar is so low someone had to dig a ditch in the ground before lowering it.

[Elizabeth9]

Farrah really lives in her own rubber Anus universe...

[Elizabeth9]

Gary's daughter is a cute https://m.facebook.com/AllTheTeenMoms/photos/a.683344495049347.1073741865.177774018939733/977097839007343/?type=1&source=48

[dreamkiller]

I watched the series in real time back in the day and am currently rewatching it. I've forgotten how truly unlikeable Amber was during this time, particularly in seasons two and three. 

[jellywager]

I just finished watching this series on Hulu. What in the world does Amber see in Matt? I can't believe he gave up his apartment without telling her. OOPS! And she just smiled like it was awesome. Hello! Warning sign. And that fool punches the wall when he is drunk? He is not good-looking, doesn't have money and has a smarmy personality. I guess she is that desperate for a penis. Matt just seems like the kind of a guy who proclaims that he is a nice guy. Dude, if you have to tell people that, it probably isn't true. Now, off to the Gary threat....why in the hell did his girlfriend get pregnant? Again, I'm not seeing the appeal.

[FairyDusted]

Speaking of laying around all fucking day, I need to defer to posters with more experience than I have. Is it good for a recently recovered addict to have shit all to do? I'm sure it's a delicate balance and too much stress and pressure probably isn't great either, but I feel like not having any distractions would be tough. I know I have a tendency to *ahem* maybe indulge a little more when I don't have anything to do or any reason to set the alarm in the morning. What do programs recommend? Is it really a good strategy to just plant your ass on the couch and wait for people to bring you stuff?

short reply…..They want you busy as fuck. 90 meetings in 90 days. sponsor up and NO 13th stepping.MATT! 

[cheatincheetos]

Wow... when Farrah and Amber are the most stable moms, I guess that's when you know the bar is so low someone had to dig a ditch in the ground before lowering it.

Amber's bf creeps me out so much that I picture him digging person-sized ditches in the yard at night...planning ahead and whatnot.

[GreatKazu]

short reply…..They want you busy as fuck. 90 meetings in 90 days. sponsor up and NO 13th stepping.MATT! 

Love your style. :-)

[FairyDusted]

Thank you…..I was very busy throughout the 80's;)

[crazychicken]

Prepare the brain bleach Amber defiantly surrounds herself with idiots

 

I thought Gary's saran wrap condom was stupid but at least he didn't use a sandwich bag and twist tie like Matt.

 

http://www.mtv.com/shows/teen_mom_2/teen-mom-exclusive-clip-teen-mom-word-bomb-with-amber/1220760/video/#id=1736942

 

At about the 2.25 mark if you do not wish to see how stupid Krystal's new man is

[TonAmi]

Would love to see someone use one of those crime scene lights on Ambie's couch. I can only imagine what stains (food, bodily, and otherwise) are on that thing.

[cheatincheetos]

Would love to see someone use one of those crime scene lights on Ambie's couch. I can only imagine what stains (food, bodily, and otherwise) are on that thing.

The stains might even rear up and attack anyone shining a light on them.

[TonAmi]

The stains might even rear up and attack anyone shining a light on them.

"Oh ma gawd duuuuude! I'm done! I'm done!"

[cheatincheetos]

Some other commenters on a teen blog had the best response to Amber's supposed weight loss: to be her healthiest, she needs to lose that 190 lbs or so that moved in with her from Massachusetts.

[Christina]

While looking for a clip on Kailyn, I found this post stating that Amber is involved with a drug ring. She denies it, of course. http://starcasm.net/archives/326068

[AdorkableWitch]

It wouldn't surprise me. That makes me sad that it doesn't.

[cheatincheetos]

While looking for a clip on Kailyn, I found this post stating that Amber is involved with a drug ring. She denies it, of course. http://starcasm.net/archives/326068

I suppose she might be able to do that kind of work without leaving the couch.

[JocelynCavanaugh]

Amber and The Creep have set a wedding date for October 2016:

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/teen-mom-og-amber-portwood-matt-baier-wedding-72087

[Brooklynista]

Amber and The Creep have set a wedding date for October 2016:

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/teen-mom-og-amber-portwood-matt-baier-wedding-72087

 

 

I want Teen Mom OG to be cancelled November 2016 and see how long he sticks around.  He'll certainly move on to a Teen Mom 2 mom.

[Tatum]

Why do they need a 13 month engagement? It's not like they have jobs or responsibilities that would distract from wedding planning, nor do they have to worry about giving people notice as they probably have like 3 friends between the two of them. Sounds like they want to be engaged more than they want to be married.

Is this fiancé 2 or 3 for Amber? Meanwhile Farrah's holding steady at 0. How's that, only ugly girls wait for rings theory going, Farrah? You've been lapped by Jenelle, Amber, and Leah, the three biggest hot messes of this franchise. Yikes.

[JocelynCavanaugh]

I want Teen Mom OG to be cancelled November 2016 and see how long he sticks around. He'll certainly move on to a Teen Mom 2 mom.

Didn't he actually creep on Jenelle first? But even SHE had the sense to reject him??

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

Why do they need a 13 month engagement? It's not like they have jobs or responsibilities that would distract from wedding planning, nor do they have to worry about giving people notice as they probably have like 3 friends between the two of them. Sounds like they want to be engaged more than they want to be married.

Is this fiancé 2 or 3 for Amber? Meanwhile Farrah's holding steady at 0. How's that, only ugly girls wait for rings theory going, Farrah? You've been lapped by Jenelle, Amber, and Leah, the three biggest hot messes of this franchise. Yikes.

Because they have to make sure there's a reason for MTV to film a third season of this shit show (I think season two is in the works now).

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

Didn't he actually creep on Jenelle first? But even SHE had the sense to reject him??

(Let me preface this by saying I am not a fan of Matt.)

I think Matt didn't meet Jenelle's general requirements for a soulmate. His rap sheet probably wasn't long enough and it had been too long of a time since his last stint in jail. He is an addict, but when talking with Jenelle he wasn't pumping anything into his body via needle (steroids, heroin, etc). I also don't think he met her minimum requirement for number of bad tattoos (not that he doesn't have any, just not enough of them). I also think that his ex has custody of their kids and Jenelle likes when her soulmates have kids that are in a grandparent's custody. He also would probably at least fake nice or be pleasant enough to Barb and we can't have that.

Edited October 4, 2015 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[Tatum]

The Ashley reported that Gary and Kristina got married at the end of Sept. Are they filming now?

[ShaNaeNae]

The Ashley reported that Gary and Kristina got married at the end of Sept. Are they filming now?

 

Hope she got some eyebrows as a wedding present.

[truelovekiss]

Do we know how many kids Matt has? I thought it was like 3 or so. I don't want to give away spoilers from the trailer (since it has it's own thread and all) but I think this is a topic that deserves some discussion!

[Elizabeth9]

Amber bought an Escalade. Now there's good money management!

[truelovekiss]

http://theashleysrealityroundup.com/2015/12/16/exclusive-the-truth-about-teen-mom-amber-portwoods-fiance-matt-baier-7-kids-ex-wives-grandkids/

I'll just leave this here.

[qtpye]

Holy crap... run, Amber run.  This man is going to drain you of all your money, knock you up with a kid that he is just going to abandon, and wreck your life in every way.

 

I had a bad feeling about the guy, but this is too much.  I hope for once Amber makes the right decision and does not hold on to this loser because of "Tuu Wuv".  She is just afraid to be alone now that Gary has found someone else.  Please Amber...for once in your life think of your daughter.

 

This adds fire to the flame that Amber will the first teen mom to go broke once the show is over for good.

[truelovekiss]

Holy crap... run, Amber run. This man is going to drain you of all your money, knock you up with a kid that he is just going to abandon, and wreck your life in every way.

I had a bad feeling about the guy, but this is too much. I hope for once Amber makes the right decision and does not hold on to this loser because of "Tuu Wuv". She is just afraid to be alone now that Gary has found someone else. Please Amber...for once in your life think of your daughter.

This adds fire to the flame that Amber will the first teen mom to go broke once the show is over for good.

Amber has very seldom actually put Leah first. Gary is a douche to her, and no saint by any means. They've both used Leah as a bargaining chip and a pawn. But Gary at least hasn't been a danger to his child's safety like Amber has, between letting a new boyfriend change baby Leah's diaper, falling asleep constantly while she was supposed to watch her, and taking to Leah to a sleazy motel instead of the doctor. I don't believe for a hot second that Amber has "chaaaaanged," and I don't blame Gary at all for fighting tooth and nail to keep custody.

[Miss Chevious]

A gazillion men in this world and Amby has to pick this loser?! She needs to send him packing ASAP. But unfortunately she probably won't because she's so desperate to have a man in her life. (Just like Jenelle & Leah)

[Tatum]

Holy crap... run, Amber run.  This man is going to drain you of all your money, knock you up with a kid that he is just going to abandon, and wreck your life in every way.

 

I had a bad feeling about the guy, but this is too much.  I hope for once Amber makes the right decision and does not hold on to this loser because of "Tuu Wuv".  She is just afraid to be alone now that Gary has found someone else.  Please Amber...for once in your life think of your daughter.

 

This adds fire to the flame that Amber will the first teen mom to go broke once the show is over for good.

Oh, she won't run. I've never met this guy and I can tell exactly how it's going to play out. He's going to tell Amber that these baby mamas were all lying, psychotic, cheating bitches, and he did not pay child support because he was 99.99% sure the kids weren't his. If paternity has been established, he will move to Plan B and say that the women withheld custody, and he therefore did not pay as a way to try and force the women to let him have his visitation rights (you are not supposed to link visitation and child support, as one being a condition for the other, but people do all the time). If that lie won't work, he'll claim that the women were using his support payments for something other than the child's support, and he didn't pay because the money wasn't going to the kids anyways. Believe me, deadbeat parents ALWAYS have an excuse, and it is ALWAYS the other parent's fault.

Next, after absolving himself of any responsibility, he will then appeal to Amber's vanity by saying that he never loved any of those women the way he loved Amber, and that he would never be able to do that to her. Amber will be unduly flattered by this as she is "the one who is different".

 

 

Amber has very seldom actually put Leah first. Gary is a douche to her, and no saint by any means. They've both used Leah as a bargaining chip and a pawn. But Gary at least hasn't been a danger to his child's safety like Amber has, between letting a new boyfriend change baby Leah's diaper, falling asleep constantly while she was supposed to watch her, and taking to Leah to a sleazy motel instead of the doctor. I don't believe for a hot second that Amber has "chaaaaanged," and I don't blame Gary at all for fighting tooth and nail to keep custody.

 

I'll see your "very seldom" and raise you a "never".

[truelovekiss]

Oh, she won't run. I've never met this guy and I can tell exactly how it's going to play out. He's going to tell Amber that these baby mamas were all lying, psychotic, cheating bitches, and he did not pay child support because he was 99.99% sure the kids weren't his. If paternity has been established, he will move to Plan B and say that the women withheld custody, and he therefore did not pay as a way to try and force the women to let him have his visitation rights (you are not supposed to link visitation and child support, as one being a condition for the other, but people do all the time). If that lie won't work, he'll claim that the women were using his support payments for something other than the child's support, and he didn't pay because the money wasn't going to the kids anyways. Believe me, deadbeat parents ALWAYS have an excuse, and it is ALWAYS the other parent's fault.

Next, after absolving himself of any responsibility, he will then appeal to Amber's vanity by saying that he never loved any of those women the way he loved Amber, and that he would never be able to do that to her. Amber will be unduly flattered by this as she is "the one who is different".

I'll see your "very seldom" and raise you a "never".

Slow clap for your assessment, I think it was spot on. And all of these discussions, of course, will take place from the couch. As far as my "very seldom" goes, I'm usually reluctant to use absolute terms. There might have been a time off screen where Ambie poured Leah a bowl of cheerios BEFORE she popped a handful of pills. I guess that's putting Leah first, right?

[LilaFowler]

Just going to leave this hilarity here...

 

 

She has him programmed into her phone as GARY THE HAIRY FAIRY.  lol

[Tatum]

Slow clap for your assessment, I think it was spot on. And all of these discussions, of course, will take place from the couch. As far as my "very seldom" goes, I'm usually reluctant to use absolute terms. There might have been a time off screen where Ambie poured Leah a bowl of cheerios BEFORE she popped a handful of pills. I guess that's putting Leah first, right?

 

Nah, that just meant Leah was whining really loudly for her cereal and Amber poured it for her to stop the whining, vs. wanting Leah to have her sustenance as soon as possible. I cannot recall a time Amber has ever done anything for Leah that didn't serve Amber somehow first.

 

Lila Fowler! This world needs more SVH references. Also- Gary has Amber programmed in his phone as Eyelash Amber, or something to that affect.

Edited December 17, 2015 by Tatum

[LilaFowler]

6" Eye Lash (sic) Portwood

 

LOL! (It's a link because it's huge.)

 

https://alltheteenmomsnews.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/amber-portwood-eyelashes1.jpg

Edited December 17, 2015 by LilaFowler

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

Matt is disgusting. To lie to your fiancé about how many kids you have is pathetic. To only claim 2 of your 7 kids is beyond disgusting and has to be infuriating to those kids and their moms. One of those kids is 13 and one of five....still very much children who deserve to have fathers. And while he plays around at step-dad with Leah he has a son a little younger than her that he ignores. How terribly hurtful that has to be. Apparently one of his daughters is 23 and has a child of her own. That's not very much younger than Amber. Seven kids with five different women.....I'm shocked there were five women who procreated with him and shocked he's only claiming 5/7 of his kids. If I found out my husband had ONE child he had from me when we met, I'd be dragging us to therapy and considering divorce. But FIVE secret kids? Amber should put Matt's shit on the porch, change the locks, change her number, and hope he gets the hint.

My bet is if he pays off all the back support he owes, it's really Amber paying it off. Goodbye new season paycheck.

Also, Matt.....you know what's cheaper than child support? A vasectomy. Damn, even Adam from TM2 knew the smartest and cheapest thing for him to do was to have a vasectomy rather than several kids.

(As long as you're buying him stuff and paying his bills, Amber, consider a vasectomy as his Christmas gift.)

Edited December 18, 2015 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[poopchute]

How old is Amber now? Older or younger than Matt's 25 year old son?

[Tatum]

I think Amber was born the spring of 1990. She's the oldest teen mom. So she'll be 26 in a few months.

[Pdxblonde]

I love how everyone on Twitter is saying to leave her alone, she's a good mom, blah, blah blah. First of all.. .HOW is she a good mom? Has there been evidence of it? No, I don't think so!

[truelovekiss]

I love how everyone on Twitter is saying to leave her alone, she's a good mom, blah, blah blah. First of all.. .HOW is she a good mom? Has there been evidence of it? No, I don't think so!

It is amazing/horrifying what some people think constitutes being a good mother. I think to a lot of them, all you have to do is SAY you love your kid. That's it. People are also under the impression that Jenelle and Leah are good mothers.

I think Amber was born the spring of 1990. She's the oldest teen mom. So she'll be 26 in a few months.

So currently the same age as Matt's son. Good luck with that, Ambie.

[ginger90]

I read a headline that stated Amber got custody of Leah.. Anyone? 

[truelovekiss]

I read a headline that stated Amber got custody of Leah.. Anyone?

Jesus God, I hope not.

[AdorkableWitch]

Radar Online is reporting she got 50/50 http://radaronline.com/celebrity-news/amber-portwood-wins-custody-battle-teen-mom-share-daughter-leah-ex-gary-shirley/

[Maharincess]

Poor Leah, all she is to Amber is ammunition against Gary. Watching the marathon the other day, in every argument Amber screams "I have custody, remember that".

They should have left Leah where she was.

I just read the article linked above. Amber saying she's one of the most stable moms on the franchise because she's (allegedly) been drug free for 3 years and has "college courses under her belt" is hilarious. They fail to mention that those courses were done in prison and she's done absolutely nothing since then.

I didn't see any changes in her last season. She was the same short tempered ass she's always been.

Edited December 19, 2015 by Maharincess

[NikSac]

I think both of them are horrible when it comes to using their daughter to mess with each other.  It breaks my heart that she'll see all that some day (same goes for almost all the kids actually). 

 

I do have one question, I know it's been mentioned a few times that Amber's not still clean/sober, but I thought she has supposedly been clean for 2 or 3 years now. Anyone know what that's about?

[truelovekiss]

I think both of them are horrible when it comes to using their daughter to mess with each other. It breaks my heart that she'll see all that some day (same goes for almost all the kids actually).

I do have one question, I know it's been mentioned a few times that Amber's not still clean/sober, but I thought she has supposedly been clean for 2 or 3 years now. Anyone know what that's about?

I think it's in reference to the fact that even though she's off drugs, she still drinks which does not make her sober.

[GreatKazu]

Just going to leave this hilarity here...

 

 

She has him programmed into her phone as GARY THE HAIRY FAIRY.  lol

Amber has had him listed like that for quite a while. We saw that before on the previous season.

 

As for her man's five other women with whom he has children, I think the first thing Amber should do is go get HIV/AIDs tested.

 

What does Matt have going on that five females found him so damn worthy of hitting the sack with him? Jeezus!

 

If there are child support orders in effect and he is behind on payments, that would surely mean that testing has been done to confirm he is the father of those children. I can't imagine Matt would not put up a fight about any DNA testing. He, like most guys, would likely demand the test each and every time he was taken to court for child support.