Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[Oosala]

I just finished reading this entire thread.  It's a really good thread.  I have two things to contribute.

Only on TV:  Someone is working late in a large cubicle area.  All of the overhead lights are off and the only light source is a desk lamp with a 20W light bulb in it.  There will be an establishing shot from far away showing the worker and his tiny pool of light, completely surrounded by darkness.  I need light to work, especially when it's pitch dark outside and I'm already tired from working all day and then staying late.

Only on TV:  This one is from the days when everyone only had a landline.  Every time the phone rings, everyone in the immediate vicinity turns and looks at the phone, and stares at the phone for 2 or 3 rings.  Even the people who live in the house.  I'm old and have spent many years living in a home and working in an office with only a landline phone.  The phone rings and I just moved to the phone and picked up the receiver.  Why would I waste time staring at the damn thing?

[Dr.OO7]

4 hours ago, Oosala said:

Someone is working late in a large cubicle area.  All of the overhead lights are off and the only light source is a desk lamp with a 20W light bulb in it.  There will be an establishing shot from far away showing the worker and his tiny pool of light, completely surrounded by darkness.  I need light to work, especially when it's pitch dark outside and I'm already tired from working all day and then staying late.

But then how would we know how lonely and isolated the person is?

 

4 hours ago, Oosala said:

This one is from the days when everyone only had a landline.  Every time the phone rings, everyone in the immediate vicinity turns and looks at the phone, and stares at the phone for 2 or 3 rings.  Even the people who live in the house.  I'm old and have spent many years living in a home and working in an office with only a landline phone.  The phone rings and I just moved to the phone and picked up the receiver.  Why would I waste time staring at the damn thing?

To be fair, I think that only happens when people are dreading bad news. The day my sister died, my phone rang and I actually did freeze and stare at it, because I knew what was coming (she'd been very ill for some time and it was 5 in the morning. I don't think anyone's ever gotten good news at that hour).

[shapeshifter]

Only on TV do phones ring more than 7 times without going to voicemail.

[Oosala]

On ‎1‎/‎21‎/‎2019 at 8:11 PM, Camille said:

To be fair, I think that only happens when people are dreading bad news.

I notice it happening all the time.  And then there's a shot of the phone like we can't understand what's making that repetitive ringing noise.

[Katy M]

On ‎1‎/‎21‎/‎2019 at 11:45 PM, shapeshifter said:

Only on TV do phones ring more than 7 times without going to voicemail.

I wish my mom's phone would do that. It takes her forever to get it out and 9 times out of 10, by the time she does, it's gone to VM.

[shapeshifter]

4 hours ago, Katy M said:

On 1/21/2019 at 10:45 PM, shapeshifter said:

Only on TV do phones ring more than 7 times without going to voicemail.

I wish my mom's phone would do that. It takes her forever to get it out and 9 times out of 10, by the time she does, it's gone to VM.

My mom is 90 and disabled, so we now call 3 times (21 rings). If she could still speak loud enough, we would get her and Amazon Portal.

[Dr.OO7]

Your ex showing up at your wedding to declare his love for you and sweep you away.

Aside from never happening in real life (pause for everyone to submit a slew of stories), if/when it does, it means the guy is a friggin' stalker who can't get it through his head that your relationship is over.

[Shannon L.]

Some serious stuff is happening to your relative/friend.  It's urgent that you meet with them asap, so you go to their house and knock on the door.  You know they are in there, but probably not answering because they are afraid to.  Knowing that they aren't afraid of you, but not answering because they don't know who is on the other side of the door, instead of saying "It's just me, please open up!", you continually knock, then bang, on the door louder and louder until you either give up or they give in and crack the door to see who it is. 

Edited January 31, 2019 by Shannon L.

[Raja]

48 minutes ago, Camille said:

Your ex showing up at your wedding to declare his love for you and sweep you away.

Aside from never happening in real life (pause for everyone to submit a slew of stories), if/when it does, it means the guy is a friggin' stalker who can't get it through his head that your relationship is over.

Real life for both myself and my little brother. We both had an ex girlfriend not seen for years suddenly show up trying to reconnect the week of our respective weddings

[Dr.OO7]

16 minutes ago, Raja said:

Real life for both myself and my little brother. We both had an ex girlfriend not seen for years suddenly show up trying to reconnect the week of our respective weddings

Did you ditch your respective betrotheds at the altar and run off with them?

Which makes me add on something--if not always psycho, such behavior is at the very least incredibly selfish. 

[ABay]

My favorite TV example of this is from The Vicar of Dibley. Geraldine is dreaming about marrying some guy and just at the crucial moment, Sean Bean shows up and says "Don't do it, girl! It's me you love, not him!"

[ganesh]

I'm surprised that Sean Bean made it through to that far in to a tv show. 

I was packing my groceries in my of course cloth fancy bag and I tried *so hard* to fit the baguette to stick up from the top, but it just didn't fit. I have failed at tv. 

[Dr.OO7]

8 minutes ago, ganesh said:

I'm surprised that Sean Bean made it through to that far in to a tv show. 

BWAH. I love/hate the Dead Star Walking/Chronically Killed Actor tropes.

[ABay]

Well, it is a comedy. Although... I don't think he showed up again...Hmm...

[ganesh]

Sean Bean is in a class on his own though. 

[2727]

People being allowed to board airplanes after the door has closed. No, not even for true love.

[meep.meep]

Sorry, but I have actually had that happen to me in real life.  Based not on true love but on my exalted status in the airline rewards club.  Being a frequent flier can pay off occasionally.

[auntlada]

I remember discussion after discussion about that after The Amazing Race 7, when the eventual winners had that happen for them on the last leg. I've never seen it happen, but a lot of people said it had happened for them or for people getting on their flights.

[tennisgurl]

If I lived in TV universe, I would forever be saying "Hey, you still there?" into a phone with no one on the other line, because no one on TV ever says goodbye! They just finish the conversation and hang up! 

[Bastet]

4 hours ago, 2727 said:

People being allowed to board airplanes after the door has closed. No, not even for true love.

I've never needed to request it, but I have had the door held open for me (more than once, catching a connecting flight after coming in from a flight that was delayed, the agent at my arrival gate of the connection airport has called the agent at my departure gate to say "passenger on her way; hold off a few minutes") and while ensconced in my seat with plenty of time I once did see the door re-opened for a passenger.  Granted, I'm sure the fact I've been in first class for all these occurrences is a factor!  (As would, as noted above, being the top tier of the airline's frequent flier program.)  So maybe the better gripe is with it happening for TV characters who are not in a category the airlines would make an exception for in real life.

[kiddo82]

At a bar or restaurant someone will simply order "a beer" and the waitress is like "coming right up" as if the place only serves one brand/style of beer as opposed to, like, 50. (or way more depending on the restaurant.)

Edited February 1, 2019 by kiddo82

[ganesh]

What actually may be a reverse of that is going to a bar where the bartender said "do you want your usual?" to me. 

[kiddo82]

Or it admittedly does work if you're at that diner from My Cousin Vinny where they only serve "breakfast," "lunch," and "dinner."

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, Bastet said:

I've never needed to request it, but I have had the door held open for me (more than once, catching a connecting flight after coming in from a flight that was delayed, the agent at my arrival gate of the connection airport has called the agent at my departure gate to say "passenger on her way; hold off a few minutes") and while ensconced in my seat with plenty of time I once did see the door re-opened for a passenger.  Granted, I'm sure the fact I've been in first class for all these occurrences is a factor!  (As would, as noted above, being the top tier of the airline's frequent flier program.)  So maybe the better gripe is with it happening for TV characters who are not in a category the airlines would make an exception for in real life.

I've never flown first class, but maybe that's unusual, and writers are in first class when they dream up these scenarios.

[Bastet]

12 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

I've never flown first class, but maybe that's unusual, and writers are in first class when they dream up these scenarios.

It could be their perspective is skewed, but I think it's simply a matter of the "don't let the facts get in the way of a good story" rule that's behind so many of these fictions.  Especially if this is on a sitcom.  Having the plane door re-opened so [event] can happen after the character - and audience - thinks the chance has been missed works best for their story, so they're not going to be bothered by whether the door really would be opened under the circumstances. 

[shapeshifter]

Only on TV, when a couple of crime fighters (detectives, cops, girl scouts, etc.) are checking out a building where a really bad guy (often a serial killer) is likely to be holed up, the good guys will invariably split up (even viewers know this is never a good idea), and while one good guy is engaged in extremely loud, physical hand-to-hand combat with the bad guy (including bashing into walls, knocking stuff over, yelling, grunting, etc.) the other good guy is tiptoeing around the building, unable to hear anything.

[Katy M]

19 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Only on TV, when a couple of crime fighters (detectives, cops, girl scouts, etc.) are checking out a building where a really bad guy (often a serial killer) is likely to be holed up, the good guys will invariably split up (even viewers know this is never a good idea), and while one good guy is engaged in extremely loud, physical hand-to-hand combat with the bad guy (including bashing into walls, knocking stuff over, yelling, grunting, etc.) the other good guy is tiptoeing around the building, unable to hear anything.

As a former crime-fighting girl scout, I'll let you in on  a little secret.  It's not that we can't hear the combat.  It's that we're slackers.

[Moose135]

On 1/31/2019 at 8:47 PM, tennisgurl said:

If I lived in TV universe, I would forever be saying "Hey, you still there?" into a phone with no one on the other line, because no one on TV ever says goodbye! They just finish the conversation and hang up! 

I actually know someone like that.  It never happened to me (I rarely spoke on the phone with him) but he told of a time he was having dinner with friends, and several people mentioned he would just hang up when the conversation was over.  He didn't believe it, and told them to call him right back if he ever did it to them.  In the next two weeks, he ended up with return calls from all of them, and he worked to change his behavior.

 

23 hours ago, Bastet said:

I've never needed to request it, but I have had the door held open for me (more than once, catching a connecting flight after coming in from a flight that was delayed, the agent at my arrival gate of the connection airport has called the agent at my departure gate to say "passenger on her way; hold off a few minutes")

I can certainly see an airline doing that for a passenger that is late because their incoming flight was delayed - after all, it is the airline's fault that the passenger is late.  If you just show up late, they are going to be less likely to do the same, unless, as you said, you have some high status.  Airlines look closely at flights that runs late, they track the reasons, and there can be repercussions internally if the delay is deemed unwarranted.

[Rosiejuliemom]

On 1/31/2019 at 7:59 AM, Camille said:

Your ex showing up at your wedding to declare his love for you and sweep you away.

Aside from never happening in real life (pause for everyone to submit a slew of stories), if/when it does, it means the guy is a friggin' stalker who can't get it through his head that your relationship is over.

My ex drunk-dialed me the night before my wedding and begged me to get back together with him. The only thing I could do was say no, hang up, and laugh until I cried.

 

As for the bolting upright after a nightmare, I did that once. I had a dream about my kids that terrified me to the point that I woke up screaming, sat up and bolted out of bed (into a dresser), almost punched my husband and stepped on the dog. I was in a blind panic and the only thing I could think of was "Get to their room and make sure they're still there!"

[Annber03]

19 minutes ago, Rosiejuliemom said:

.As for the bolting upright after a nightmare, I did that once. I had a dream about my kids that terrified me to the point that I woke up screaming, sat up and bolted out of bed (into a dresser), almost punched my husband and stepped on the dog. I was in a blind panic and the only thing I could think of was "Get to their room and make sure they're still there!"

Whoa. Now that's freaky. 

[Rosiejuliemom]

11 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

Whoa. Now that's freaky. 

It was not pleasant at all.

After I made sure they were fine, I sat by their door and cried for a good 15 minutes. I knew I wasn't getting back to sleep that night.

[Annber03]

*Sends you internet hugs* I'm so sorry you had to experience that. 

Edited February 2, 2019 by Annber03

[Anela]

1 hour ago, Rosiejuliemom said:

It was not pleasant at all.

After I made sure they were fine, I sat by their door and cried for a good 15 minutes. I knew I wasn't getting back to sleep that night.

I had a dream like that a week ago, only a guy was going to murder me, my sister, and my parents (if he hadn't already killed them). I just started screaming - it was a bulky guy all covered up, carrying a large knife. Maybe I already mentioned it. I could feel my eyelids fluttering as I was waking up, knew that he should be gone as soon as my eyes opened, but I was still terrified when I was awake. I called my dad, got a voicemail, swore because I needed someone to talk to (it was 7am, and he was on his way to work), and then insisted that we need to get the locks fixed on the front and back doors, and get new keys. 

I didn't think I would be able to go back to sleep, but I found someone livestreaming online (someone live right there, other people chatting, so it was like company), and fell asleep a couple of hours later, I think. I just know that I did sleep for a few hours. 

Edited February 2, 2019 by Anela

[Jacqs]

Unsolved Mysteries had a lot to answer for when it came to my nightmares.

I wonder how they got away with (ha) tying toddler Rachael Runyan's murder to a Satanist "snuff" film. 

I really needed the parodies of UM like in BASEketball to really cope ("We still have no idea where the fuck this guy is!")

[Broken Ox]

Somewhat like bolting upright, do people really sit straight up in bed and stretch their arms high and wide when they first wake up?

[shapeshifter]

Only On TV is there an endless supply of characters who have no living relatives and who inevitably become victims or perpetrators of murder, mayhem, or other major crimes.
This makes no sense to me—as someone with a seemingly endless supply of crazy family members, any of whom could serve as a justification for my temporary insanity, should I ever decide to commit a crime (but will never do because I could never risk having to sleep on a jail cot).

[auntlada]

On 1/31/2019 at 10:02 PM, Bastet said:

I've never needed to request it, but I have had the door held open for me (more than once, catching a connecting flight after coming in from a flight that was delayed, the agent at my arrival gate of the connection airport has called the agent at my departure gate to say "passenger on her way; hold off a few minutes") and while ensconced in my seat with plenty of time I once did see the door re-opened for a passenger.  Granted, I'm sure the fact I've been in first class for all these occurrences is a factor!  (As would, as noted above, being the top tier of the airline's frequent flier program.)  So maybe the better gripe is with it happening for TV characters who are not in a category the airlines would make an exception for in real life.

I've had the flight held before at a connection point, but there were 40 people in our group and more on the flight coming into the country who were also headed for our next flight. We were at JFK and had 30-40 minutes to make it off our flight, through customs and to our next flight. We weren't going to make it.

[Katy M]

3 hours ago, Broken Ox said:

Somewhat like bolting upright, do people really sit straight up in bed and stretch their arms high and wide when they first wake up?

I do sometimes.

[shapeshifter]

2 minutes ago, Katy M said:

3 hours ago, Broken Ox said:

Somewhat like bolting upright, do people really sit straight up in bed and stretch their arms high and wide when they first wake up?

I do sometimes.

Is this to make you feel more awake than you really do? --like smiling when one is depressed is supposed to make one feel happier?

[Katy M]

5 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Is this to make you feel more awake than you really do? --like smiling when one is depressed is supposed to make one feel happier?

No, it's just that sometimes I feel like my muscles need a really good stretch.  It's not something I do every day, or even every week.  But, I do find myself doing it on occasion and it does kind of crack me up because I know it's just such a cliched way of getting up.

[Blergh]

4 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Only On TV is there an endless supply of characters who have no living relatives and who inevitably become victims or perpetrators of murder, mayhem, or other major crimes.
This makes no sense to me—as someone with a seemingly endless supply of crazy family members, any of whom could serve as a justification for my temporary insanity, should I ever decide to commit a crime (but will never do because I could never risk having to sleep on a jail cot).

 On the sitcom side of things: only on TV do folks have relatives who drop in ONE time in X number of years never before and never to be seen/referred to again- yet these folks DO celebrate milestones with only their co-workers and/or neighbors with not a single relative in sight (not even those who'd dropped in on previous episodes). 

[ParadoxLost]

A lesson learned by apathy.

HIMYM, you don't need to go to elaborate means to not learn who won the Super Bowl.

I still don't know despite neither seeking out of avoiding the information.  People presume the whole of the world already knows.  So they and the radio talk about aspects of the game or that it was boring or the half time or the commercials. But they don't say who won.

[Jacqs]

The inevitable moment on TV where the heretofore tomboy femmes up for the dance.

Isn't it possible to talk to their mom and say they’d rather not wear a dress but maybe something else formal? If they’re comfortable stretching or breaking the truth they could say they like the security of pants, no one could lift up their dress, they wouldn’t have to worry about things not laying back down after they go to the bathroom and it will be easier to dance in?

[andromeda331]

11 hours ago, Jacqs said:

The inevitable moment on TV where the heretofore tomboy femmes up for the dance.

Isn't it possible to talk to their mom and say they’d rather not wear a dress but maybe something else formal? If they’re comfortable stretching or breaking the truth they could say they like the security of pants, no one could lift up their dress, they wouldn’t have to worry about things not laying back down after they go to the bathroom and it will be easier to dance in?

That would be nice. There's no nice outfit that includes pants for a dance in TV? Come to think about it the dances I went to in middle school and high school it was usually about 50/50 girls wearing dresses or a cute or cool pants outfit. Not just tomboys wearing the cool pants outfit but other girls too. Popular girls too. I guess those girls don't exist in TV either.

[GHScorpiosRule]

I got one! I got one!

Only on teevee do the Feds get called in to investigate people (non-famous adults/teens) who have only been missing for less than five hours, when in real life, the last time I checked, said persons had to be missing for at least 48 hours.

[biakbiak]

7 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I got one! I got one!

Only on teevee do the Feds get called in to investigate people (non-famous adults/teens) who have only been missing for less than five hours, when in real life, the last time I checked, said persons had to be missing for at least 48 hours.

That’s a myth. Depending on the circumstances they might not start an investigation but there is no such rule.

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, biakbiak said:

8 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I got one! I got one!

Only on teevee do the Feds get called in to investigate people (non-famous adults/teens) who have only been missing for less than five hours, when in real life, the last time I checked, said persons had to be missing for at least 48 hours.

Read more  

That’s a myth. Depending on the circumstances they might not start an investigation but there is no such rule.

Huh. I didn't know that (because everything I know about missing persons I learned on TV), but, yeah, see also: https://blogs.findlaw.com/blotter/2012/09/5-things-to-know-about-missing-persons-reports.html

But it seems like people who advertise to find missing persons for hire may be contributing the waiting period myth: 

Quote

"However, when an adult goes missing, law enforcement is not required to take an immediate report or enter the person into NCIC and may cite a 24-48 hour waiting period as policy. There is no federal mandate requiring law enforcement to wait to take a report. It helps to be calm while insisting they take a report."
http://www.lauthmissingpersons.com/missing-persons-10-urgent-steps-when-a-loved-one-goes-missing-with-missing-person-expert-kym-pasqualini/

 

[Dr.OO7]

4 hours ago, biakbiak said:

That’s a myth. Depending on the circumstances they might not start an investigation but there is no such rule.

Exactly. With an elderly person/ill person/child/signs of foul play, the cops immediately get to work because it's assumed that such people are in trouble rather than willfully going off on their own.

[MaryPatShelby]

21 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I got one! I got one!

Only on teevee do the Feds get called in to investigate people (non-famous adults/teens) who have only been missing for less than five hours, when in real life, the last time I checked, said persons had to be missing for at least 48 hours.

In my county cops will take reports immediately, and enter them into NCIC as soon as they have all the necessary info.  Even if it's a 21-year-old  - it's just too risky for the police to ignore a missing person when they could be facing a lawsuit down the road if something has happened that could have been prevented.

If a missing adult is located and is fine, and left or went incommunicado of their own free will, cops will basically say "Ok, thanks, call your mom" and take no further action (other than removal from the database).

[Madding crowd]

Only on TV do all people who live in the city come home from work and do nothing but sit in a dark apartment drinking whiskey out of a cut glass cup while staring out the window. If they are a detective they will also stare at a file. No one goes out to eat, exercise, read a book or watch a movie.