Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[Pepper the Cat]

I am a little worried. My Tylenol bottle is almost empty. 

What happens if I take the last two, throw out the bottle but then am in some type of accident? The people investigating my accident will find the empty bottle and say “ see, here is proof that she was trying to kill herself!”

because on TV a empty bottle equals suicide. Not just running out.

[Katy M]

8 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Plus commute time. If you leave any time after 5 am, multiply by 2 or more.

But as long as Donna Reed stays home to do the dishes, there should be plenty of time to get to work and school.

It takes me less than 10 minutes to get to work.  Max add on time would be 2 minutes.  

[2727]

Only on TV:  High school students being in their mid twenties.

[Moose135]

12 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

But as long as Donna Reed stays home to do the dishes, there should be plenty of time to get to work and school.

No, they go in the dishwasher, and I run it when it's full.

[ChromaKelly]

15 hours ago, Pepper the Cat said:

I am a little worried. My Tylenol bottle is almost empty. 

What happens if I take the last two, throw out the bottle but then am in some type of accident? The people investigating my accident will find the empty bottle and say “ see, here is proof that she was trying to kill herself!”

because on TV a empty bottle equals suicide. Not just running out.

Yes, this was on House all the time, when the House-ettes would go through the patient's home looking for clues. "There was a bottle of Robotussin! He must have been Robo-tripping!" "She had a half-empty bottle of antacids! Check for ulcers!" I keep basically a drugstore in my house. Doesn't mean I'm using all this stuff all at once.

[ganesh]

They better not look in my medicine cabinet then. There's two half bottles of generic nyquil and a lot of alka-seltzer cold tablets. 

[ABay]

5 hours ago, 2727 said:

Only on TV:  High school students being in their mid twenties.

On Spanish TV, too!

[Aryanna]

22 hours ago, Raja said:

 

Also you may be suffering the bias of posting during the winter as opposed to summer

Most people I know work in offices and their hours are 8-5. That means leaving around 7 or 7:30 which is still not long after the sun comes up even in the summer.

[shapeshifter]

51 minutes ago, Aryanna said:

23 hours ago, Raja said:

Also you may be suffering the bias of posting during the winter as opposed to summer

Most people I know work in offices and their hours are 8-5. That means leaving around 7 or 7:30 which is still not long after the sun comes up even in the summer.

Here in Chicago the sun rises around 5 am in June; 15 minutes earlier in Vancouver--where a lot of shows are shot--so I think they have an alibi for (not) eating their pancakes in broad daylight--at least on some shows.
But, yeah, I left at 7 am yesterday and it was so dark I needed to use the light on my phone to get to my car.

 

2 hours ago, ganesh said:

They better not look in my medicine cabinet then. There's two half bottles of generic nyquil and a lot of alka-seltzer cold tablets. 

As long as they're not empty bottles, you're not at risk for anything other than maybe over-shoppers syndrome.
It seems you should get bonus not-at-risk points if the meds are expired (like most of mine).

[kiddo82]

On TV when non-medical professionals (or even medical professionals) check for a pulse for less than half a second and declare the person either has one or doesn't.  I get why they wouldn't want to waste valuable air time showing people poking around at a passed out person's neck or wrist but it's not always so cut and dry to find a pulse.  Especially for a lay person and especially if it's thready.  All I'm saying is I'd hate to be clinging to life and then declared not worth trying to save because someone tried, and failed, to get a pulse on me for a tenth of a second.  

[Jacqs]

Dear TV:

Rude, sassy and obnoxious is not suddenly acceptable just because it is a female child. 

[2727]

Having a cough means you're going to die.

[ABay]

If it's a period piece, from consumption.

[Shannon L.]

A long time ago, we discussed how easily people were able to get back to normal after a serious injury or surgery, but I saw the worst example of it the other day that I've ever seen.  On the Blacklist (which I do still enjoy, in spite of it's flaws), they had a man sit up after facial reconstruction surgery, look in the mirror, then a couple of scenes later, he was getting dressed and leaving. RME!   My aunt knows someone who had a lot of work done to her face and she said it was excruciatingly painful. Even if I didn't have a real life example , I could have guessed that facial reconstruction would take weeks to recover fully from.  (Hell, I've had surgery that required cutting a piece of bone and putting a screw in the area that was left and even that was extremely painful).

[Trini]

I'm sure this has been mentioned already, nosebleed = brain tumor/brain injury. 

[LilWharveyGal]

8 minutes ago, Trini said:

I'm sure this has been mentioned already, nosebleed = brain tumor/brain injury. 

Or you're strenuously using your superpower.

[DrSpaceman73]

46 minutes ago, Shannon L. said:

A long time ago, we discussed how easily people were able to get back to normal after a serious injury or surgery, but I saw the worst example of it the other day that I've ever seen.  On the Blacklist (which I do still enjoy, in spite of it's flaws), they had a man sit up after facial reconstruction surgery, look in the mirror, then a couple of scenes later, he was getting dressed and leaving. RME!   My aunt knows someone who had a lot of work done to her face and she said it was excruciatingly painful. Even if I didn't have a real life example , I could have guessed that facial reconstruction would take weeks to recover fully from.  (Hell, I've had surgery that required cutting a piece of bone and putting a screw in the area that was left and even that was extremely painful).

Yes plastic surgery in general is very painful

And there is edema and swelling that takes weeks to correct, scars to heal, etc. 

[andromeda331]

People on TV rarely get fired from their jobs no matter how bad they are at them or no matter how badly they screw up. 

[Haleth]

On 1/11/2019 at 10:56 AM, 2727 said:

Having a cough means you're going to die.

And fainting means you're pregnant.

[ChromaKelly]

On 1/11/2019 at 11:46 AM, ABay said:

If it's a period piece, from consumption.

She coughs daintily into a handkerchief and then looks at the blood spot on it, as the camera lingers on the red stain on the lacy white handkerchief, then pans to the fragile heroine''s pained look on her face.

Edited January 13, 2019 by ChromaKelly

[bilgistic]

7 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

People on TV rarely get fired from their jobs no matter how bad they are at them or no matter how badly they screw up. 

I have to disagree with this one, because it's happened in my life all the time with coworkers. The trick they use to do just enough right to get by and do it in front of the boss, so the boss never has "proof" of the screwups.

[Talky Tina]

Only on TV does someone pour a cup of coffee and only pour a half inch into the cup.  Every person I've seen on TV does this.  

I know you've all covered how only on TV does everyone who has a bad dream sits straight up in bed. I'm not feeling well so I spent all day yesterday watching TV and a movie and I saw this 4 different times.  Do something original!!  Last time I had a bad dream I fell out of bed and my eye hit the corner of the nightstand, ended up with 2 black eyes and a cut on my eyebrow.  I've never sat straight up in bed after a bad dream.  

[Moose135]

2 hours ago, bilgistic said:

The trick they use to do just enough right to get by and do it in front of the boss, so the boss never has "proof" of the screwups.

Back when I was in the Air Force, I was told the secret to success was to screw up just a little - enough so senior commanders knew your name, but not enough for them to remember why they knew your name.

[Annber03]

2 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I have to disagree with this one, because it's happened in my life all the time with coworkers. .

Agreed. I can think of way too many real life examples of this sort, too. And then there's the people in real life who are outright criminal with their behavior on and off the job, but they still get to keep their jobs anyway, because they're either high up on the chain or they know people who can cover for them or whatever.

25 minutes ago, Talky Tina said:

I know you've all covered how only on TV does everyone who has a bad dream sits straight up in bed. I'm not feeling well so I spent all day yesterday watching TV and a movie and I saw this 4 different times.  Do something original!!  Last time I had a bad dream I fell out of bed and my eye hit the corner of the nightstand, ended up with 2 black eyes and a cut on my eyebrow.  I've never sat straight up in bed after a bad dream.  

LOL, yeah, I've never sat up in bed, either. I rarely ever have nightmares as it is (and if I do, I apparently don't remember most of them), but when I do get startled awake by a dream, I just flinch and my legs kick out suddenly. 

[bilgistic]

I have horrible nightmares and sleep paralysis and wake myself up screaming! Sometimes that's the only way I can wake up. It's so weird. It's like my conscious mind knows that I'm dreaming and I have to wake up because I'm so terrified. I've never, ever sat straight up!

I also wake myself up snoring.

[Katy M]

I sat straight up in bed one time after a nightmare.  I think I had the whole cold sweat thing going on, too.  I don't know that I've ever screamed, though.  Which is good.  Because I am LOUD.

[shapeshifter]

3 hours ago, Talky Tina said:

I know you've all covered how only on TV does everyone who has a bad dream sits straight up in bed. I'm not feeling well so I spent all day yesterday watching TV and a movie and I saw this 4 different times.  Do something original!!  Last time I had a bad dream I fell out of bed and my eye hit the corner of the nightstand, ended up with 2 black eyes and a cut on my eyebrow.  I've never sat straight up in bed after a bad dream.  

My ex used to stand up on the bed and jump up and down yelling. In fact, this directly led to his being my ex. Anyway, I could tell if he was still "asleep" if the whites of his eyes were red. I've never seen that on TV, but maybe it's an anomaly. 

And, all you folks with nightmares need to stop eating pizza so close to bedtime!

[Blergh]

4 hours ago, Talky Tina said:

Only on TV does someone pour a cup of coffee and only pour a half inch into the cup.  Every person I've seen on TV does this.   

  I think that's done so the performers can make the motion of having poured coffee and, occasionally, finish it on camera while keeping the dialogue going without any brew left over. 

[bilgistic]

1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

My ex used to stand up on the bed and jump up and down yelling. In fact, this directly led to his being my ex. Anyway, I could tell if he was still "asleep" if the whites of his eyes were red. I've never seen that on TV, but maybe it's an anomaly. 

And, all you folks with nightmares need to stop eating pizza so close to bedtime!

I've had horrible nightmares my entire life. I can still remember some I had as a child, and it's 30+ years later now.

[selkie]

I thought of y'all today when I walked out of Whole Foods with a loaf of Cuban bread- think a chubby version of a French baguette- actually  sticking out of the top of my shopping bag. 

[Anela]

5 hours ago, Talky Tina said:

Only on TV does someone pour a cup of coffee and only pour a half inch into the cup.  Every person I've seen on TV does this.  

I know you've all covered how only on TV does everyone who has a bad dream sits straight up in bed. I'm not feeling well so I spent all day yesterday watching TV and a movie and I saw this 4 different times.  Do something original!!  Last time I had a bad dream I fell out of bed and my eye hit the corner of the nightstand, ended up with 2 black eyes and a cut on my eyebrow.  I've never sat straight up in bed after a bad dream.  

Or take two sips, and then leave it on the table. 

I fell out of bed when my dog Bertie, wanted help getting up there with me. I was asleep until he scratched me, perched on the edge of the mattress anyway, due to my other dogs. 

I don't remember sitting up in bed. I have woken up to my heels dug into the mattress, and my arms bent as though I'd actually been running (as I had been in my dream), so that must have been a sight before I woke up. 

[ganesh]

36 minutes ago, selkie said:

I thought of y'all today when I walked out of Whole Foods with a loaf of Cuban bread- think a chubby version of a French baguette- actually  sticking out of the top of my shopping bag. 

YOU ARE SO TV NOW

[Talky Tina]

8 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I have horrible nightmares and sleep paralysis and wake myself up screaming! Sometimes that's the only way I can wake up. It's so weird. It's like my conscious mind knows that I'm dreaming and I have to wake up because I'm so terrified. I've never, ever sat straight up!

I also wake myself up snoring.

I snore myself awake all the time.  One of my dogs does too. 

I'm probably in the minority and probably (ok, most likely) weird but I love bad, scary dreams.  I like waking up and getting that feeling of relief. In the dream that gave me 2 black eyes, I was being chased by a tablespoon wielding Chinese gang  They were going to kill me with tablespoons apparently.  

I've always heard that the only dreams we remember are the ones that wake us up. 

Edited January 14, 2019 by Talky Tina

[Moose135]

21 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

And, all you folks with nightmares need to stop eating pizza so close to bedtime!

Or at least stop putting pineapple on it!

[Mittengirl]

Pineapple on pizza is the stuff of dreams, not nightmares.  Anchovies, on the other hand...  you will dream of sleeping with the fishies.

I remember sitting bolt upright in bed once after a nightmare, but I remember it because it was very unusual for me.

I hate when people on tv are conversing with their partner in bed, end the conversation and then turn out the lights, only to have the other person turn the lights back on to continue talking.  This goes on for several rounds until finally the convo ends but both lay there with their eyes open, waiting for the other to turn the light on again.  Can’t TV people talk in the dark?  Because usually on TV the room is almost as bright with the lights off as on, just with a bluish tint.

Edited January 15, 2019 by Mittengirl

[Silver Raven]

I can't sit bolt upright when I have a nightmare, because I never sleep on my back.

[Oosala]

On ‎2‎/‎7‎/‎2018 at 7:34 PM, Raja said:

In Compton CA. Columbus Day was traded in for Cinco de Mayo years ago.

What was the intent of this post?  I live in Long Beach and we share a border with Compton so this caught my eye.  I don't believe Compton Unified School District schools are closed on May 5 because I looked at their calendar.

[Anela]

I did fly up out of my sleep a couple of weeks ago. This just reminded me. I fell asleep listening to something/someone streaming on the internet, and I woke up to someone's dog whimpering. I thought it was one of mine, and panicked. I'd only been asleep a couple of hours, having been really relaxed (rare for me), and thinking I'd sleep a long time. So pissed when I realized what it was, although it was my own fault for not leaving it on something I knew wouldn't wake me up. 

Edited January 16, 2019 by Anela

[bilgistic]

Twenty-odd years ago, I woke up and jumped out of bed in complete terror because I felt someone else in my bed, and I didn't go to bed with anyone! I turned on the light and as I did, I realized my own arm had completely "fallen asleep" or lost all internal feeling because of how I'd slept on it. It felt like another person's arm by the rest of my body. It was incredibly freaky to wake up to that.

[Dr.OO7]

On 1/13/2019 at 5:42 AM, andromeda331 said:

People on TV rarely get fired from their jobs no matter how bad they are at them or no matter how badly they screw up. 

If they even show up to begin with.

[Raja]

7 hours ago, Oosala said:

What was the intent of this post?  I live in Long Beach and we share a border with Compton so this caught my eye.  I don't believe Compton Unified School District schools are closed on May 5 because I looked at their calendar.

Following up on other post about Columbus Day being traded in across the country some recently for Indigenous People's Day. Now when I worked for Compton Unified back in 1988 to 1992 and the Rodney King Riots the schools were closed and it was a city holiday. Now maybe it was done by an executive order and got recended by local administrations in the years since I left but that was the intent.

[Oosala]

^^^Thanks Raja.  Schools change all the time.  I'm sorry if I came across as harsh. 

[Jacqs]

Gang of non-English speaking villains are having a secret meeting. There are no English-speaking people present. 

One of the gang begins to speak in Alboslavanian: 

“Crz zhiv neyt akk dorayr eklo!!!” 

The Boss replies, angrily... 

“In ENGLISH!! We must appear to fit it!”

[kiddo82]

On 1/16/2019 at 11:20 PM, Camille said:

If they even show up to begin with.

That's one of those things that doesn't bother me enough to take me out of a show, but it is fun to poke fun at.  The Friends were awful at this.  In one episode they were all lounging at Central Perk and lamenting how their bosses all hated them and it was Joey, the only one who might be sitting around in the middle of a business day, who said something to the effect of maybe it's because it was 10:00 a.m. on a Wednesday morning and they were all hanging out at the coffee house instead of at work. 

This reminds me of a similar one, how, even in a place as big as Manhattan, the hang out spot is equidistant from everyone's place of business that they can meet up there on their lunch break.  Also, everyone has the freedom to take a long lunch when need be.  And I know some companies might allow for that , people are salaried, or people even use lunch to entertain clients etc., but dude, I get half an hour a day.  I wouldn't have time to necessarily leave the building if I wanted to and my hours are tracked meticulously.  I might have enough time to make it to the deli down the street and back but I'm not meeting anyone anywhere on my lunch break.

Edited January 19, 2019 by kiddo82

[andromeda331]

56 minutes ago, kiddo82 said:

That's one of those things that doesn't bother me enough to take me out of a show, but it is fun to poke fun at.  The Friends were awful at this.  In one episode they were all lounging at Central Perk and lamenting how their bosses all hated them and it was Joey, the only one who might be sitting around in the middle of a business day, who said something to the effect of maybe it's because it was 10:00 a.m. on a Wednesday morning and they were all hanging out at the coffee house instead of at work. 

This reminds me of a similar one, how, even in a city as big as Manhattan, the hang out spot is equidistant from everyone's place of business that they can meet up on there on their lunch break. Also, everyone has the freedom to take a long lunch when need be.  And I know some companies might allow for that , people are salaried, or people even use lunch to entertain cilents etc., but dude, I get half an hour a day.  I wouldn't have time to necessarily leave the building if I wanted to and my hours are tracked meticulously.  I might have enough time to make it the deli down the street and back but I'm not meeting anyone anywhere on my lunch break..

That always cracks me up. The only time I ever got more then a half hour for lunch was always if the computers were down and it looked like it was going to be awhile before they were back up. 

[Bort]

On ‎1‎/‎19‎/‎2019 at 3:49 AM, kiddo82 said:

That's one of those things that doesn't bother me enough to take me out of a show, but it is fun to poke fun at.  The Friends were awful at this.  In one episode they were all lounging at Central Perk and lamenting how their bosses all hated them and it was Joey, the only one who might be sitting around in the middle of a business day, who said something to the effect of maybe it's because it was 10:00 a.m. on a Wednesday morning and they were all hanging out at the coffee house instead of at work. 

I actually would've bought that Monica probably doesn't have to go to work too early, as being a head chef at a restaurant probably runs with evening hours more than it does office hours.

[Blergh]

Yeah, unless everyone happens to work in the very same BUILDING  (and all get lunch at the very same time), in Real Life few if any sets of actual working acquaintances actually get to have lunch together at the very same time- much less on a regular basis!

[Dr.OO7]

5 hours ago, kariyaki said:

The Friends were awful at this.  In one episode they were all lounging at Central Perk and lamenting how their bosses all hated them and it was Joey, the only one who might be sitting around in the middle of a business day, who said something to the effect of maybe it's because it was 10:00 a.m. on a Wednesday morning and they were all hanging out at the coffee house instead of at work. 

Even Joey wasn't exempt from this. I've known a few struggling actors and their days were crammed with auditions (which he did frequently mention even if it wasn't seen) and working a skillion different jobs to make ends meet. And when he did land a steady gig, it was the same thing--soap actors have hellish hours.

I know TV is for escapism, but it still annoys me when people in any profession pull stunts that in real life would get them fired. That's why I appreciate the Reality Ensues trope--I'm not reveling in seeing someone get chewed out by their boss, but it's much better than making people think that outlandish behavior leads to a promotion rather than unemployment.

In a similar vein, stalking your dream girl does not make you end up with her, it makes you end up in jail. Even though I knew it was going to happen, I hated that Family Matters Steve and Laura ended up together after 8 years of him harassing her. I wouldn't be surprised if half of the reason that so many teenage boys/men end up stalking and harassing the girls/women they're interested in is because they genuinely believe that that's what they're supposed to do, thanks to the myriad of TV shows and movies that tell them so.

[ganesh]

And on the flip side, the women think they have to settle for them. You have a right to set standards. I almost think there's some artificial constraint that you have to be with someone at a certain point in your life. 

[Jacqs]

As Alison Arngrim (Nellie Oleson) from Little House on the Prairie agreed with me, a tomboy wearing a dress to a school dance in real life wouldn't work - the girl would be uncomfy, the dress would be ill-fitting, and - like happened to young Grand Duchess Maria of Russia at a dance ball - she'd fall in her fancy ladies shoes and everybody would start laughing.

Here's what Alison reported to me in email about her big school dance in the seventies:

I went to the Hollywood High "Junior Homecoming" dance at the Hollywood Roosevelt Blossom Room in 1977 (before they fixed up the Roosevelt and it was still kind of low rent, rundown)  - and I wore boots, with riding style pants tucked in, with a striped shirt and neck tie.

 

Every other girl was in a long prom style dress - with that 70's off the shoulder ruffle.  They stared at me like I was a freak, but that wasn't really new behavior.  But my date, the nice buy nerdy Sam Zolman, (with his dad's purple car!), thought it was just fine.