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Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality


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20 hours ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

It's also a big risk being a mother in a children's book or movie.  Mothers are very expendable!  In fairness they've usually been killed off before the story begins so there's that.

If you're a mother in a Disney show/movie, you've got two choices, die so the hero/heroine has a tragic backstory, or be evil so that the hero/heroine has a tragic backstory but gets to rub it in your face when they get their happy ending. 

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On 2/16/2023 at 9:47 PM, DoctorAtomic said:

I can't imagine anyone watched Hachi. I lived there and couldn't go near the statue. 

Anyone ever use that story as the basis for a mystery? It's tailor-made for it.

"Every day the dog greets his master at the station. Until one day, his master didn't come off that train. Still, the dog persists in his routine, in the vain hope he sees his master again. The town believes the master is dead, but our wily detective isn't so sure."

There's a few ways to play that story:

  • The master really is dead and the detective finds out why. Likely the reason is murder if only because it opens more narrative possibilities and gives the characters more to do inside the story, though reasons other than murder could work if done right
  • The master is kidnapped, so the detective has to find him and rescue him
  • The master decides, on a whim, to vanish and start a new life somewhere else, as he hated the life he had. He wanted a clean break from everyone, but upon learning the dog still likes him, they have a happy reunion.
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On 2/16/2023 at 6:44 PM, Mabinogia said:

Good point. Dogs, please avoid all children's movies. 

I also find it highly amusing that the formula is: kids movie = kill the dog. bloodbath with high body count = don't you dare hurt that cute little puppy!

I'm one of those weirdo who can watch millions of people getting slaughtered but if a dog gets so much as kicked, I'm out!

See Death by Newberry Medal

For the record, I'm the same way which is why I'm glad I found Does the Dog Die?

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I'm not a fan of stories where we're supposed to care about a dog surviving when lots of people are killed. Like that one scene in the beginning of Independence Day. I wish more tv series and movies would just kill the dog along with all the humans. That's one reason why I liked the movie M3gan.

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On 2/17/2023 at 3:47 AM, DoctorAtomic said:

I can't imagine anyone watched Hachi. I lived there and couldn't go near the statue. 

My mother watched it like 5 times, I think, and she only has a few movies that she likes to rewatch. She always comes to me afterwards to report how much she has cried, lol.

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On tv when they have cheeleader tryouts, somehow, half the squad has already been chosen and those kids pick the rest (2 or 3) of the team. Instead of the coach.  You never see that with baseball or football tryouts.

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1 hour ago, Katy M said:

On tv when they have cheeleader tryouts, somehow, half the squad has already been chosen and those kids pick the rest (2 or 3) of the team. Instead of the coach.  You never see that with baseball or football tryouts.

On Girl Meets World, the entitled protagonist Riley Matthews was such a total physical klutz that she was unable to do a cartwheel and was a potential danger to herself &any possible squad mates. But she wants to be a cheerleader!

So does she try to do exercises, practice or otherwise attempt to work to improve herself to make the squad somehow in time for the final cut or even for the next year?

Not  a chance! Instead she just keeps showing up at the tryouts, loudly expresses her entitlement and refuses to accept the coach's initial verdict until she wears the poor coach down to put her on the squad!  And the show expects the audience to consider her a role model -capped off by having her 'persistence' being praised on the show by her peers and the somewhat equally annoying Perez Hilton[in  Real Life] singing her kudos and harassing the poor coach!

 I sincerely hope that NO cheerleading squad has ever  let a completely inept but entitled stalker get on their squad in RL solely due to said stalker's refusal to accept a coach's verdict and the coach getting worn down by the stalking (mainly due to disliking tantums being rewarded to say nothing out of concern for the needless added risk to any squad mates) but  I wouldn't be surprised if at some point this has happened somewhere in the history of high school cheerleading! Truth's stranger .

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19 minutes ago, Blergh said:

I sincerely hope that NO cheerleading squad has ever  let a completely inept but entitled stalker get on their squad in RL solely due to said stalker's refusal to accept a coach's verdict and the coach getting worn down by the stalking (mainly due to disliking tantums being rewarded to say nothing out of concern for the needless added risk to any squad mates) but  I wouldn't be surprised if at some point this has happened somewhere in the history of high school cheerleading! Truth's stranger .

Being Captain/squad run might just be a part of the history of the sport.

I came up before Bring It On and the advent of the cheerleading sport. So I guess at its root it wasn't a sport, as many sports started off as something besides judged competition.  And the cheerleaders were pretty much student run in my day.  With other dance and drill squads being an alternative to physical education class so all were taken until the teachers union said too many for that one union member. The faculty advisor of cheerleaders serving mainly to make sure the squad wasn't overly sexualized. 

As it was the student body voted on the next batch of young ladies to join the juniors and seniors who decided/qualified to stay on the squad. Sort of like that movie except we voted, not the gatekeeping squad.

 

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On 2/16/2023 at 10:16 AM, DearEvette said:

I just saw this on Will Trent and it made me think of this forum.

When you are sent to hide in a closet for your safety when an imminent home invasion/crime is about to happen, the closet will be one with louvered doors, easy to see out slats, so you can witness the crime/murder being committed but they can't see you in the closet.

The other side of this is when the mad killer/crazed stalker is after you, it's night, you're in your home which has zero window coverings and every light on, so the mad killer/crazed stalker hiding in the conveniently placed grove of trees/shrubs outside your home can see you as you go from room to room.

On TV, the only time people have window coverings is when it's necessary for someone to hide, so if someone has full length, very full drapes, know that at some point, someone will be behind them.

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On 2/17/2023 at 1:56 PM, Mabinogia said:

be evil so that the hero/heroine has a tragic backstory but gets to rub it in your face when they get their happy ending. 

Which is just another reason that Ever After is awesome:

"I want you to know that I will forget you after this moment, and never think of you again. But you, I am quite certain, will think of me every single day for the rest of your life."

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11 hours ago, Cobalt Stargazer said:

Which is just another reason that Ever After is awesome:

"I want you to know that I will forget you after this moment, and never think of you again. But you, I am quite certain, will think of me every single day for the rest of your life."

Best Cinderella movie ever made. And Drew Barrymore's just matter of fact way of saying it makes it that much sweeter. She's not even going to give them the satisfaction of mattering enough to raising her voice.

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All law enforcement agencies have at least one employee, if not more, who is capable of taking down a room of bad guys on their own.  Typically, this person can also ride a horse so well that they can gallop through the city streets without incident (the same goes of high priced assassins). 

All school bullies and/or the kids who fight back, will at least once jump onto the lunch room tables to commence said bullying/fighting back.

Edited by Shannon L.
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If someone is pregnant and goes to find out have an us that reveals the sex of the baby (ok say bioloical traditinal sex male or female )  the following scenario will always play out on tv

Parents don't want to know the sex

By the end of the episode the sex of the baby will be revealed. 

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If you're at a party a friend of yours is catering the odds are high that

1.  You end up as a waitress or serving at the party due to a last minute problem 

And/or

2.  A ring or jewelry will be unknowingly lost in the food until its too late and you have to hilariously search for it after all the food is cooked

Edited by DrSpaceman73
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On 2/16/2023 at 8:50 PM, Elizabeth Anne said:

It's also a big risk being a mother in a children's book or movie.  Mothers are very expendable!  In fairness they've usually been killed off before the story begins so there's that.

Sadly not just in children's stories. Lots of stories starring males would be plot-less without dead or assaulted females https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WomenInRefrigerators

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2 hours ago, Trini said:

All law enforcement (hard copy) case files have full color 8x10 headshots of the persons involved right on the first page.

And they're not mugshots! 

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I am curious as to the picture that accompanies my FBI file.  I know I have one, and it's not for any exciting reason.  Is it my passport picture from 1997 or is one of my driver's license photos.  That passport pic was unfortunate, but I have some killer DL pics from over the years.  

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I did thing of a nice subversion of this trope. In The Wire, they don't know what Avon looks like in season 1.

Spoiler

Lester finally hunts down an outdated black-and-white posed boxing stance photo of him from a poster on a boxing gym he frequented years earlier. 

 

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I loathe tea.  I always have some in my house, for guests (the same way my mother has instant coffee - ugh).  I think the box in the cupboard now is at least a decade old. 

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8 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

Everyone has tea in their cupboard.

I have about a dozen different teas, but technically none in my cupboard. I have a tea storage unit on my counter. So you're right about the cupboard bit. lol

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9 hours ago, merylinkid said:

But then I drink it and even dry my own herbs from my garden for herb teas.

Oooh, jealous! I love tea. I can't stand coffee, the smell of it actually makes me ill. Tea, OTOH, the smell makes me swoon. I'm having iced tea right now. lol

But other than British shows, where everyone offers the coppers a cuppa when they come to question someone, I rarely see tea on TV. I see every character ever guzzling coffee (well, pretending to guzzle it out of their empty cups/mugs) like they will die without it. 

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1 hour ago, Mabinogia said:

Oooh, jealous! I love tea. I can't stand coffee, the smell of it actually makes me ill. Tea, OTOH, the smell makes me swoon. I'm having iced tea right now. lol

But other than British shows, where everyone offers the coppers a cuppa when they come to question someone, I rarely see tea on TV. I see every character ever guzzling coffee (well, pretending to guzzle it out of their empty cups/mugs) like they will die without it.

A fellow tea connoisseur!  I've recently discovered some really good Chinese teas.  Coffee I can take or leave, but I do love a cuppa, although I don't drink as much in the summer (because making iced tea is apparently too much work for me).

People on TV only seem to drink Earl Grey.  I don't know why, there's so many better teas out there, but no one seems to know about them.

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I want to know which shows have people with tea on them. I'm a big tea person and have lots and lots of them crowding my kitchen, but I can't think of the last time I saw tea on television. I might consider watching the tea shows if I know which they are!

I also found that none of my guests EVER want tea, IRL, however, so if there are tv shows that make tea a staple, I'm inclined to agree it's not a representation of how most people live.

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19 minutes ago, possibilities said:

I want to know which shows have people with tea on them.

Ghosts (US version) just had an ep where some of the ghosts sat around discussing tea for hours (they can't drink it because, well, they are ghosts, but they can sure discuss it lol). Other than that, I only ever see it on British shows, like Midsomer Murders, they are always offering up a cuppa. And there was another, with Michelle Gomez, and I can't think of the name, Anne Dudek was in it too... The Book Group! (I should have known that since it was about a book club) where there was this American and they had a whole running gag about "putting the kettle on" and the American (Dudek) couldn't figure out why they kept wanting to put the kettle on. 

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1 hour ago, Lugal said:

A fellow tea connoisseur!  I've recently discovered some really good Chinese teas.  Coffee I can take or leave, but I do love a cuppa, although I don't drink as much in the summer (because making iced tea is apparently too much work for me).

People on TV only seem to drink Earl Grey.  I don't know why, there's so many better teas out there, but no one seems to know about them.

Star Trek, Captain Picard's drink in many episodes. On other shows tea is just tea, sometimes herbal of no particular type 

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1 hour ago, Lugal said:

People on TV only seem to drink Earl Grey. 

Yeah I don't get this. I've given up ordering hot tea in restaurants because they usually only have Earl Grey. I don't want that nasty shit. Get me English or Irish breakfast tea (or strong Southern-style iced tea) or get out. 

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3 hours ago, Mabinogia said:

I can't stand coffee, the smell of it actually makes me ill.

It makes me sick too. A lot of people tell me they don't drink it but love the smell, but it nauseates me. The taste is also what I imagine as the equivalent of licking an ashtray. 

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On 5/9/2023 at 6:38 AM, Shannon L. said:

Everyone has tea in their cupboard.

If they're rich, they also have a full bar set up in their living room, complete with ice cubes that never stick together.

P.S. - Tea no longer looks like a real word. 😄

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12 hours ago, Lugal said:

(because making iced tea is apparently too much work for me).

Twinings makes a lovely cold brew.   Just put in the tea bag, add cold water.   It's all drink in summer.

I also love Earl Grey.  Not the wake me up in the mornings.  But I do love the hint of bergamot.   

TOPIC:  When they do drink tea on tv, its always out of lovely china cups.  No one has a big old mug.  

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12 minutes ago, merylinkid said:

I also love Earl Grey.  Not the wake me up in the mornings.  But I do love the hint of bergamot.   

TOPIC:  When they do drink tea on tv, its always out of lovely china cups.  No one has a big old mug. 

😉

Back to Captain Jean Luc Picard and his favorite "tea, Earl Grey, hot". The Enterprise's replicator gives him a big glass mug of tea.

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Fellow tea drinker here — though I must admit I love Twinings Earl Grey. If it’s not Twinings, though, no thanks. Can’t stand coffee. But you hardly ever see TV people pass up the coffee for tea.

I grew up amongst Anglophiles (American Southerner) and have fond memories of joining my grandmother in her regular afternoon tea, so it’s very much a ritual for me. Though I’m well aware that’s not exactly the norm over here…

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11 minutes ago, AgathaC said:

Fellow tea drinker here — though I must admit I love Twinings Earl Grey. If it’s not Twinings, though, no thanks. Can’t stand coffee. But you hardly ever see TV people pass up the coffee for tea.

I guess for TV time reasons, along with the American Revolutionary history coffee is preferred. An old pot of coffee or instant being better than brewing tea. Unless you have Star Trek replicators to give you instant, tea, Earl Grey hot.

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31 minutes ago, Raja said:

I guess for TV time reasons, along with the American Revolutionary history coffee is preferred.

I think this is the reason, also why so many people take their coffee black with  no sugar on TV.  Not saying this never happens (I know people who drink their coffee this way) but it's not nearly as common as TV shows would have you believe!

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Similar to the reason you so often see TV people ordering Chinese takeout and eating from the cartons. That’s a great way of hiding the food. As they tend to do multiple takes, the amount of food being consumed can be a real problem for continuity.

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I used to have some sugar in coffee, but I cut it out of my diet overall and drink coffee black. If you're into drinking good coffee you don't want to add anything to it. People don't really drink coffee; it's coffee flavored milk whatever-acciado. 

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14 hours ago, Raja said:

Star Trek, Captain Picard's drink in many episodes. On other shows tea is just tea, sometimes herbal of no particular type 

Yeah, I'm a bad Trekkie, lol.  I heard the story that when Patrick Stewart was cast, they told him his character would drink a lot of tea.  Patrick Stewart recommended Lapsang Souchong but the producers were afraid that no one would know what it was so they went with Earl Grey.  It's a shame because Lapsong Souchong is a really good tea.

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26 minutes ago, DoctorAtomic said:

I used to have some sugar in coffee, but I cut it out of my diet overall and drink coffee black. If you're into drinking good coffee you don't want to add anything to it. People don't really drink coffee; it's coffee flavored milk whatever-acciado. 

I would put milk and sugar in my coffee as a teen, but adult me drinks her coffee black.  Cream and sugar are only needed when drinking mediocre to bad coffees--banquet coffee, hotel coffee, Starbucks, etc.  

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1 minute ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I would put milk and sugar in my coffee as a teen, but adult me drinks her coffee black.

I am having flashbacks to high school me who used to put milk and three teaspoons of sugar in a cup of tea.  I am shuddering as I type this!

With coffee I still remember the time I went out with this really cool guy, so cool he ordered espressos after our meal - they came in these adorable little cups and I, oh the shame, added cream and tons of sugar to it.  This may, or may not be why our romance was doomed.

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8 hours ago, merylinkid said:

When they do drink tea on tv, its always out of lovely china cups.  No one has a big old mug.  

This, along with buying carrots with greens attached - and, if buying them in the same trip as I pick up a baguette, may indeed have them sticking up over the top of my canvas bag - is one of those food/drink instances in which I'm like a TV character.  I have mugs (but not for coffee, which I don't drink, for hot cocoa), but I also have a cute tea set, and when I drink tea, I use one of those cups, not a mug.

It seems like I've seen numerous TV shows over the years where Person A shows up at Person B's house upset about something and A says they'll go make them some tea, but now, of course, I can't think of any examples.

In general, when trying to think of American TV shows I've watched regularly in which a character drinks tea, I kept coming up with characters who are British.  The only American who came to mind is Sharon Raydor from Major Crimes -- she drank both coffee and tea.

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2 hours ago, DoctorAtomic said:

Don't even start with the pumpkin spice. 

I've never been to a Starbucks. Is it really coffee that tastes like pumpkin? That really doesn't sound very nice.

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There is a lot of tea drunk on Big Bang Theory. They also always sip it immediately after pouring the boiling water into the mug and leave the bags in while holding onto the string.

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