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S09.E12: Tell All - Part 2


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(edited)
12 minutes ago, neh said:

I just figured out why I like this show.....It is a soap opera!!!!

The Middle Aged and the Messed Up.

As The Plyglife Churns

Edited by Sandy W
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(edited)
1 hour ago, neh said:

Meri was raised in polygamy.  Her father was a pillar of their church.  She knew what polygamy was all about.  I am sure she saw the good, the bad and the ugly of polygamy.  It is her character and personality that poisoned the family.

I don't think Meri was ever really cut out for polygamy and force-fit herself into it because of social pressure and Kody.  I think that's why she turned into a selfish person that "poisoned" the family.  If she had just married a monogamist she never would have been in the position to have to share things with other women that she didn't want to share.  And knowing how she probably felt that it was the right thing to do to be a polygamist she forced herself into it thinking it would "make her a better person".  Meanwhile what makes a person a better person is knowing what works for THEM and not forcing themselves to do things that are against their natures.

 I find nothing wrong with Meri not wanting to share her husband and all the stuff that goes along with that with other women in her marriage.  It's only if one accepts polygamy that she looks bad, in my opinion.  If she were a monogamist people would be cheering her for giving interlopers into her marriage a hard time.  I tend to feel more sorry for her than anything else because if she had been brought up differently she likely wouldn't have been turned into what seems on the surface to be a selfish bitch.  I'd like to know how most monogamist women would react in her shoes.  Probably much the same if they didn't feel they had any choice but to stay in that situation or risk ostracism from the only society they've ever felt a part of.  

Think of gay people a couple of generations ago.  I knew a gay Mormon man that married and had children back in Utah in the 1980s because he was taught that being gay was wrong.  After several years of a really bad marriage he up and left all of that and came out east to live openly as a gay man.  He had to give up EVERYTHING to do it, including not seeing his children again until many years later and it was a cool reception because they didn't even know him anymore.  That takes an awful lot of guts and to this day he has a sad streak in him because of what he had to give up in order to be true to himself.  I am sure that it would feel every bit as difficult for Meri to tear herself away from the family and polygamy in order to be true to herself.  Unfortunately for her and the rest of the family, the more she stays in that situation the more toxic she and the situation gets for all of them.  No matter what she does her life is going to feel like a living hell.  I personally have a hard time throwing stones at her in light of all of this.

Edited by Yeah No
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(edited)

It's a great attribute to have a forgiving and tolerant spirit, but, to me, Meri's antics are not genuine or coming from any real sense of displacement or hurt.  She seems to be the habitual victim, no matter what the circumstances. To be completely clueless, without solid convictions or goals, after ALL those hours of counseling boggles the mind.  IT seems to me that she is purposefully using her BS  with her hem hawing, in an attempt to wear you down.  IF she's great with other people, as she proclaims, maybe, she needs to focus on them.  I do hope her relationship with Mariah continues to improve, but,.....we'll see how that pans out. 

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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56 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

It's a great attribute to have a forgiving and tolerant spirit, but, to me, Meri's antics are not genuine or coming from any real sense of displacement or hurt.  She seems to be the habitual victim, no matter what the circumstances. To be completely clueless, without solid convictions or goals, after ALL those hours of counseling boggles the mind.  IT seems to me that she is purposefully using her BS  with her hem hawing, in an attempt to wear you down.  IF she's great with other people, as she proclaims, maybe, she needs to focus on them.  I do hope her relationship with Mariah continues to improve, but,.....we'll see how that pans out. 

See, from my POV it looks to me like you're being far too forgiving of polygamy in general when no matter how they try to spin it it's still oppressive and demeaning to women, Meri included.  With that as my filter and starting point, Meri looks a lot different.  YMMV.

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So tired of these clowns dancing around the truth : Kody is hurt and angry that Meri had an online affair. Meri feels like Kody is not invested in their relationship. Both of their egos stand in the way of reconciliation. Meri lost her mojo when she got catfished, and when she and Kody divorced legally. Being first wife /legal wife made her feel strong on the other wives. 

Either there is enough love left to salvage or there isn’t. I can’t help but wonder if Meri and Kody were locked in a cabin together for a weekend if they couldn’t sort it out. Probably not, because Kody isn’t done punishing Meri, and Meri isn’t done playing the martyr role. 

Mykelti and Tony got so fat. 

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I remember several seasons ago when they got together with a bunch of Kody's male high school friends.  One of them said right out, "Most of us were surprised that Kody was into polygamy, because we all thought he was gay in high school."  So maybe he sends out a vibe that might encourage gay men in a gay bar to hit on him.

Then they all wrestled around on mats in shorts together, and Kody did his (in)famous and effeminate "pike position" while doing the manly jump off of the Stratosphere.

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12 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I personally think he's abusive and that he was clearly rejecting her for a long time before she acted out with the catfish

I agree.  If she had felt loved and wanted she wouldn't have been easy prey.  

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(edited)

Wasn't Kody disinterested in Meri before she went online and got catfished? I thought that was one of the reasons she was online, because she was lonely, In any case if anyone should feel "unsafe" in the relationship (or lack of it) between Meri and Kody it is Meri, given how Kody was glaring at her in pretty much any interaction they had at the tell-all. 

Edited to add - it looks like some of us have the same views on Meri and Kody's relationship, and that the catfishing was a symptom, not the cause of the breakdown. 

Edited by UsernameFatigue
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14 hours ago, UsernameFatigue said:

However if Kody has women hitting on him all the time, it is because he is giving out signals that they can.

He doesn't realise that just because a woman is talking to him, it doesn't mean she is hitting on him.

33 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

The wives went to a BAR in San Francisco and had beer! 

Gimme a freaking break.

I think they addressed this at the tell nothing - it was a restaurant that served beer, there was a bar attached but they were in the restaurant.

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On 4/1/2018 at 9:28 PM, taragel said:

Wow, so staying together when you have no loving connection anymore is the right thing to do so you can just magically hope it will fix itself someday (while doing nothing at all to fix it) instead of divorcing and moving on with your life? These people are so delusional. What more would need to (could possibly) break? Kody doesn't even like to use the word "hope." Get the frak out of there, Meri. Geesh. And the stupid host "commending" them for staying together. (She may have been my least favorite "tell-all" host. Awkward questioning and very little follow through.)

Um, this.

Was the host honestly praising these idiots for "staying together," i.e. living on the same block and barely seeing each other, as if that's some sort of accomplishment? Let's see...both Kody and Meri SAY they want to fix their relationship, but at the same time, they're 1) supposedly clueless about what they could possibly do to fix said relationship, 2) doing absolutely nothing to even figure out where to start fixing said relationship, and 3) making everyone else miserable as they continue some semblance of a so-called relationship.

Real role models, those two.

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3 hours ago, LilWharveyGal said:

Janelle feels that the benefits they’ve gained from going public far outweigh anything they’ve had to sacrifice.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.......oh, wait she was serious?  What in the name of all that is holy is she talking about? 

Oh, never mind.  The obvious benefit - selling their souls to the TLC devil for $$$$$.

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55 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

HAHAHAHAHAHA.......oh, wait she was serious?  What in the name of all that is holy is she talking about? 

Oh, never mind.  The obvious benefit - selling their souls to the TLC devil for $$$$$.

Good answer!  Andrea would have loved to hear THE TRUTH, for once.  Actually, so would the viewers.  Never gonna happen with the Brown Bunch.

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On 4/2/2018 at 8:37 AM, SunnyBeBe said:

I am NOT a Tony fan, but, I did find what he said probably the most amusing thing I heard.  He was asked by the host to describe his relationship with each MIL.  I think he said Christine was like a sibling and they fight (odd), Janelle a partner, I forget what he said about Robyn, but, he had no description for Meri.  I think he hesitated and said....hello.  Like, he's only been introduced and that's it.  lol  I wonder what Meri said about that. 

He said him and Robyn are like playful puppies, him and Christine are like brother and sister, Janelle a partner and would love to work with her on something business related, and Meri was... "oh, hey"  

 

what I found interesting from this tell-all is that every wife, except Robyn (probably because she's too new) has been on the outs with Kody.  Janelle has left before (right?), Christine admitted during this that there was a time where she was alone, wasn't friends with anyone and hated it, and now it's Meri's turn.  And I honestly think that Kody is really enjoying the new fun bubbly Christine that debbie downer Meri is a HUGE turnoff.  So I think if Meri would adjust her attitude she might have better luck getting into good graces with her husband. I was thinking that he couldn't get rid of Meri due to their religion but then I remembered that Robyn was divorced. But maybe it has to be the wife's decision to leave? 

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(edited)
18 hours ago, gingerella said:

Nope, I agree with you on this one. I dont think Meri should have had a smaller house just because she had fertility problems. That doesn't sound very equitable to me. All wives should be treated equally. It's like saying he's going to schtup Robyn more often because she's less fat...He wanted four wives, they all should get the same housing IMO. Now if they said, Meri you only have one child in the home so will you please have a dedicated room for the other kids to come sleep over sometimes, I think that would be fair too. Meri's a fucking mess, but damn, girl has put up with alot in that marriage. If she walks away, she ought to at least get the house and whatever she can sell it for, though who the hell would buy a home in the middle of that shitshow?

Agreed, but Meri def. should not get TWO giant houses paid for by the family, for Meri's creepy mom to live in.  I was glad Kody was clear on that....not sure if it ever worked out that Meri is the only one paying for the new house tho.  Was wondering if mom has ANY income to help pay the rent.  It was weird (to me) how she just expected to move in there.

Meri's creepy mom should move into the Vegas house as a good little plyg, and babysit for the other wives...after all, its just one giant, happy family!!

Edited by Christi
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But isn't one of the selling points of this crap is that the sister wives are all mothers to all children? 

What "mother' could justify other kids in the family going without food or clothing because there were six moiuhs to feed instead of one?  It's not like it benefits the other wives if they get a larger share of the money.  It's the kids that suffer because Meri sucks extra funds out of the coffer to spend on her wet bar while Christine's kids survive on tater tot casseroles because they are cheap and filling.

If this were truly a loving family (and if Meri wasn't such a selfish shrew) no kid would have to do without to suit the whims of one needy wife.

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Kody and wives are no longer supporting the adult kids (specifically,Mariah, Mykelti, Maddy), right?  I mean besides Maddie, husband and child for that limited time living with Janelle. I'm assuming that once age 18 and out of the home, they are not supported. 

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(edited)
44 minutes ago, gunderda said:

He said him and Robyn are like playful puppies, him and Christine are like brother and sister, Janelle a partner and would love to work with her on something business related, and Meri was... "oh, hey"  

 

 

FRT said that he didn't really know Meri very well. Which to me makes Meri the smartest of the 4, as why would anyone get to know FRT if they didn't have to? Christine is the only one who is kind of obligated to have a relationship with him. And apparently it is a sisterly one. Yuck. 

I will say that I also wasn't impressed with Caleb, who I haven't minded previously. He has never changed a diaper? WTH is it about (some) men who think they are too macho to change a diaper? Wimmin's work, apparently. At the moment Aspyn's and Logan's fiances are my favs, as they were smart enough to not show up.

I did think it was odd that those married/engaged seemed stunned at Andrea's comment that they were getting married young.  Logan said that they are old for polygs, but the thing is, they aren't ploygs. Their parents are. Also Aspyn I think it was said they were taught to date onto with the intention of getting married. But haven't they all married/become engaged to the first person they have dated? Certianly the first person they have been serious about. I agree with Andrea, they are too young. 

Edited by UsernameFatigue
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It was Paedon who said he hadn't changed a diaper...not sure why he was asked (actually, there's probably a lot of footage that is cut, so maybe more guys were asked this question, and they only showed us Paedon for some reason).  Also, if I am not mistaken, Robyn's first marriage was monogamous, so it doesn't give us an example of leaving a plural marriage.

I was truly dismayed by how much weight Mykelti had gained, especially because there is no reason to believe that it will suddenly stop.  On the other hand, Maddie looked the best I have ever seen...she looked, pretty, bright, clean, and happy.  It's odd that Audrey had also gained weight, when Mariah has (had?) lost over the past year or so. 

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Mykelti looked so much like Valerie Bertinelli to me.  When Val was very overweight, with Mykelti throwing an extra 50 pounds on to that.

If I were Maddie on my third day of labor, I'd be crawling to the truck to head to the hospital. Home/water birth be damned.

I thought it was very sweet of Maddie to say that she hoped Audrey and Mariah were becoming a permanent couple because they all love Audrey.

I cracked up at Christine telling how she ran off the forward woman who was calling Kody without permission from the wives.  

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I read this post on CJ's board. I have no idea if it's true, but the part about Mariah being needy doesn't surprise me.

 

Copied from Cynical Jinx Living Room:

"AnonymousApril 2, 2018 at 7:36 AM

Inside info, Mariah is very needy and hates that Audrey has become a favorite with so much positive attention. Audrey is lapping it up but this relationship is about Audrey and her longterm goals working w the LGBT community.

Joanie"

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5 minutes ago, Libby said:

I read this post on CJ's board. I have no idea if it's true, but the part about Mariah being needy doesn't surprise me.

 

Copied from Cynical Jinx Living Room:

"AnonymousApril 2, 2018 at 7:36 AM

Inside info, Mariah is very needy and hates that Audrey has become a favorite with so much positive attention. Audrey is lapping it up but this relationship is about Audrey and her longterm goals working w the LGBT community.

Joanie"

I like Audrey so much better than Mariah.  Mariah is an endless pile of need like her mother.

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15 minutes ago, SuzieQ said:

I like Audrey so much better than Mariah.  Mariah is an endless pile of need like her mother.

I'll bet that's probably true, but she's still a much nicer person than her mother.

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1 hour ago, Angeltoes said:

I cracked up at Christine telling how she ran off the forward woman who was calling Kody without permission from the wives.  

That was funny, but also, why in the hell didn’t KODY tell her not to call? The woman clearly made his wives uncomfortable, and it was his responsibility to respect them and tell this woman where he stands. That was so gross to me, how he gets to giggle and toss his hair all, ‘Oh, these ladies fighting over little ol’ me!’ when he’s supposed to be the HEAD of this family. Ugh! 

 

41 minutes ago, SuzieQ said:

I like Audrey so much better than Mariah.  Mariah is an endless pile of need like her mother.

And like her pathetic father too. 

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3 hours ago, UsernameFatigue said:

I did think it was odd that those married/engaged seemed stunned at Andrea's comment that they were getting married young.  Logan said that they are old for polygs, but the thing is, they aren't ploygs. Their parents are. Also Aspyn I think it was said they were taught to date onto with the intention of getting married. But haven't they all married/become engaged to the first person they have dated? Certianly the first person they have been serious about. I agree with Andrea, they are too young. 

Logan Brown will be 24 in May.  When I was his age I was already married 3 years and still am after almost 40 years.  I know it's become a trend for young people to marry older in recent years but for most of human history except for the past decade or so getting married in one's early to mid 20s (or younger) was the norm.  I know it's fashionable now to consider adults in their 20s to be no more than adolescents, but that's not technically the case in any way, shape or form.  It also depends on how they were brought up and the culture they were raised in.  The Brown family has definitely brought up its children to be ready for independence at a younger age than is now the average.  In my opinion they are the healthy ones, not the other way around.  Just because delaying adulthood has become the fashion doesn't mean it's good for anyone.  Just my opinion!

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(edited)
On ‎4‎/‎3‎/‎2018 at 5:28 PM, gunderda said:

 And I honestly think that Kody is really enjoying the new fun bubbly Christine that debbie downer Meri is a HUGE turnoff.  So I think if Meri would adjust her attitude she might have better luck getting into good graces with her husband. 

By all accounts, seemed before Robyn came into the picture, Christine was fun and bubbly.  And, Kody is probably sharing her bed more often, so she is back to her old self.  

Edited by Adeejay
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50 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Logan Brown will be 24 in May.  When I was his age I was already married 3 years and still am after almost 40 years.  I know it's become a trend for young people to marry older in recent years but for most of human history except for the past decade or so getting married in one's early to mid 20s (or younger) was the norm.  I know it's fashionable now to consider adults in their 20s to be no more than adolescents, but that's not technically the case in any way, shape or form.  It also depends on how they were brought up and the culture they were raised in.  The Brown family has definitely brought up its children to be ready for independence at a younger age than is now the average.  In my opinion they are the healthy ones, not the other way around.  Just because delaying adulthood has become the fashion doesn't mean it's good for anyone.  Just my opinion!

Not getting married in your early 20s is not delaying adulthood.  People are adults outside of their marital or relationship status.  People live decades longer than they lived two or three generations ago, so there is not as much of a rush to marry and reproduce ASAP.  And since people are living longer, their needs/wants/personalities change, which explains rising divorce rates among those in their 40s and 50s.  Why rush into marriage at 20 when you're likely to be a vastly different person -- with different experiences, goals, priorities -- at 30?

Let's be real -- the Brown kids get married so young because they want to have sex.  

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(edited)
6 hours ago, Christi said:

Agreed, but Meri def. should not get TWO giant houses paid for by the family, for Meri's creepy mom to live in.  I was glad Kody was clear on that....not sure if it ever worked out that Meri is the only one paying for the new house tho.  Was wondering if mom has ANY income to help pay the rent.  It was weird (to me) how she just expected to move in there.

Meri's creepy mom should move into the Vegas house as a good little plyg, and babysit for the other wives...after all, its just one giant, happy family!!

 

Meri's mom was able to sell her house, so I'm guessing she chipped in some of the down payment or something.

Also I doubt they still do the common pot money pooling thing. When they all lived in the Lehi house with common household expenses that probably worked - remember Christine's food pantry? Christine said that whenever they had extra money or a windfall it went to restocking the pantry. I doubt they still live like that - they probably just divide the TLC money between the five of them and that's that. 

Come to think of it I doubt there was money pooling when Janelle had her own place with her kids. 

Edited by DakotaJustice
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(edited)
6 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

Wasn’t it Paedon who said he hadn’t changed a diaper? I recall wondering why anyone would ask him that and not Caleb. Or did I hear wrong? I do tend to drift off during this show sometimes. 

My apologies to Caleb - lol. I was in the kitchen getting a snack as I was bored, so wasn't really paying attention. Why would Andrea ask Paedon? Strange. 

Edited by UsernameFatigue
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(edited)
10 hours ago, RealityTea said:

Not getting married in your early 20s is not delaying adulthood.  People are adults outside of their marital or relationship status.  People live decades longer than they lived two or three generations ago, so there is not as much of a rush to marry and reproduce ASAP.  And since people are living longer, their needs/wants/personalities change, which explains rising divorce rates among those in their 40s and 50s.  Why rush into marriage at 20 when you're likely to be a vastly different person -- with different experiences, goals, priorities -- at 30?

Let's be real -- the Brown kids get married so young because they want to have sex.  

Contrary to popular wisdom these days about delaying marriage, for those that delay marriage until 32 or more the divorce rate starts to rise by 5% per year in a steep climb which is amazingly high the older one gets at first marriage.  This comes from recent data gotten from studies like the one mentioned in this article.  So there is a "sweet spot" in one's mid 20s - 30 that seems to produce the lowest divorce rate among today's young people.   The best marriages weather changes in needs, goals and priorities over many decades.  I know all about that.  Plus there's something not valued enough these days known as making a real commitment to someone "in sickness and in health".  Today young people seem to want what they want and aren't as willing to make sacrifices for the sake of their relationships as previous generations.

I would say that anyone that changed so much later in life that it created irreconcilable differences didn't know themselves very well when they were young and that is regrettable, but I don't think people should avoid marrying young because they anticipate radically changing, especially when the statistics show that waiting too long to marry actually produces a much higher divorce rate.  Better to put the energy into knowing themselves when young.  This is not impossible in one's 20s, especially today when kids are encouraged to "be themselves" and embrace their alternate sexuality and other things that were taboo in earlier generations.

I don't buy the argument about living longer being a reason to delay marriage - Womens' biological clocks still create a rush to get married or at least be settled down with a partner to raise kids with by age 30 or so.  Most of them want to have a few years alone with their partners before taking on the responsibility of parenthood.  And I believe that most of them still want a partner to raise kids with, not do it alone.

People from my parents generation are in their 90s and are probably the least likely generation alive right now to have divorced.  Most of them got married in their early 20s.  I hear the argument that "things are different now', like somehow this makes marriage in one's 20s a bad idea today, like people are so different now than they were back then.  Obviously the statistics are proving that wrong.

In my opinion the rising divorce rate for older people right now probably has more to do with the fact that older generations are more likely to have sacrificed their happiness for the sake of family.  Once the kids are grown they feel free to do what they want.  Today's younger generation is probably less likely to wait that long to divorce.

One thing the Browns seem to teach their children is the value of commitment and sacrifice for the sake of family and their spouses.  It's a value that is all too unpopular these days and one of the few things I admire about them.

I don't believe the Brown kids are getting married young to have sex.  They don't believe in polygamy or in most cases consider themselves a part of their parents' church, so why should they not engage in premarital sex?  Obviously they are marching to their own drums about relationships.  I don't even believe that FT and Mykelti were all that abstinent before marriage.  They are just staying quiet about in publicly and I'm sure Kody would have a coronary so it's very hush-hush.  I am sure Mariah isn't waiting until she gets married to have sex with her girlfriend!  That girl is glowing from ear to ear, there's no way to hide it!

Just my 2 cents.  

Edited by Yeah No
Added the word "but".
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8 hours ago, RealityTea said:

Not getting married in your early 20s is not delaying adulthood.  People are adults outside of their marital or relationship status.  People live decades longer than they lived two or three generations ago, so there is not as much of a rush to marry and reproduce ASAP.  And since people are living longer, their needs/wants/personalities change, which explains rising divorce rates among those in their 40s and 50s.  Why rush into marriage at 20 when you're likely to be a vastly different person -- with different experiences, goals, priorities -- at 30?

Let's be real -- the Brown kids get married so young because they want to have sex.  

Love is a choice and an action not a feeling. You chose to grow apart or together. It's a choice.

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1 hour ago, Higgins said:

Love is a choice and an action not a feeling. You chose to grow apart or together. It's a choice.

You are absolutely correct with your last sentence.  My husband and I married at the ages of 21 (me) and 19 (him) after knowing each other for two weeks.  46 years later I can tell you that we made a choice to work  really, really hard with our marriage.

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2 hours ago, Higgins said:

Love is a choice and an action not a feeling. You chose to grow apart or together. It's a choice.

Yes!!!   1000% yes.

34 minutes ago, neh said:

You are absolutely correct with your last sentence.  My husband and I married at the ages of 21 (me) and 19 (him) after knowing each other for two weeks.  46 years later I can tell you that we made a choice to work  really, really hard with our marriage.

My husband was 19 and I was 18 when we started out.   Studio apt, broke as a joke.   We made a commitment and while it hasn't all been roses and rainbows, we are still here 30 years later.   The hard work is worth it.

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6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

One thing the Browns seem to teach their children is the value of commitment and sacrifice for the sake of family and their spouses.  It's a value that is all too unpopular these days and one of the few things I admire about them.

Quoting myself, ha!  Note that I actually respect Kody and Meri's decision to stay together despite the huge problems in their relationship, but I tend to think they're doing it more for appearances sake and the show money at this point than anything else.  And he's clearly not putting the effort in to make the relationship work and doesn't seem to have any intentions of doing so in the future, so I don't really see much hope with them.  I think it would be better for Meri at this point to move out and start a new life on her own as hard as that may be to do.  I don't believe that couples should stay together "no matter what" and I think their situation is a clear case in point of when to throw in the towel.  But the lesson they're giving their kids about commitment is still a valuable one in my opinion.

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Completely agree that their decision to "stay together" is just for the show.    It's not really staying together if you never spend time together and only maybe say hi at family gatherings.   That's not staying together, that's more like "let's keep the $$ coming in".    Kody could not be more over her and it's just a matter of time.

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Just wanted to add that from what I have watched from day one, Kody has been a good dad. This is substantiated by all his wives and his adult kids. He's not perfect, but, he's extremely open minded with many issues.  Many Mormon kids don't feel comfortable openly announcing that they are gay to their parents. Kody accepts Mariah and is not judgmental, even though it is not condoned by his church. His wives have consumed alcohol, (What drinks were Mariah and her girlfriend consuming in that bar when Meri joined them?) which his faith does not condone and does not diss them about it.  He even accepted when some have wanted to join the LDS church.  And he accepts his kids' decisions to not practice plural marriage.  So, I see Kody as a reasonable person in many respects.  He also admits when he's wrong (at the SLC march with protestors).  He asks for help when needed.  Many people refuse counseling.  I do think that he's immature though in some matters.  I do think that when he's serious and really speaks from the heart, it' comes from a place of true conviction and a desire for the family's best interest.  I've noticed that when he addresses issues like the seriousness of marriage and importance of family and having God first in your life. 

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Note that I actually respect Kody and Meri's decision to stay together despite the huge problems in their relationship, but I tend to think they're doing it more for appearances sake and the show money at this point than anything else. 

If they are not legally married, he never spends time with her except on camera, and they're not having sex, then they are not together. They're neighbors who both own the same house, but only one of them lives there and they film a reality show together. I would not in any way call that a relationship, and that is what actually appears to be going on at this point.

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Just wanted to add that from what I have watched from day one, Kody has been a good dad. This is substantiated by all his wives and his adult kids. 

On multiple occasions, it has come up that Kody favors his sons over his daughters, and that he spends more time with Janelle's kids than he ever does with Christine's kids. On the episode where Maddy leaves for college, she says it quite clearly that she and Kody don't have a close relationship. Kody only favors her now because he is so ridiculously in love with her husband. 

Edited by Kellyee
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3 minutes ago, tabloidlover said:

Completely agree that their decision to "stay together" is just for the show.    It's not really staying together if you never spend time together and only maybe say hi at family gatherings.   That's not staying together, that's more like "let's keep the $$ coming in".    Kody could not be more over her and it's just a matter of time.

This.  I'm not a fan of Meri (or really any of the other adults on this show) but it's not "staying together" if there's no intimacy between the two of them.  No pain for Kody - he has three other sexual outlets. She has nothing.  Of course she's making the choice to stay and put up with it. 

That said part of this is probably fear of being alone. Maybe she'd rather wait and hope that Kody gets the hots for her again like he did with Christine. The difference is that Christine isn't a sour apple like Meri is. 

I do believe that Meri's odds of finding another committed relationship given what she's shown herself to be are pretty slim. 

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1 hour ago, DakotaJustice said:

This.  I'm not a fan of Meri (or really any of the other adults on this show) but it's not "staying together" if there's no intimacy between the two of them.  No pain for Kody - he has three other sexual outlets. She has nothing.  Of course she's making the choice to stay and put up with it. 

That said part of this is probably fear of being alone. Maybe she'd rather wait and hope that Kody gets the hots for her again like he did with Christine. The difference is that Christine isn't a sour apple like Meri is. 

I do believe that Meri's odds of finding another committed relationship given what she's shown herself to be are pretty slim. 

I wonder if Meri is "keeping up appearances" on the show because that's part of her contract, but if she were to tell the truth she would be open about how she really has no choice but to move on.  I wonder if she hasn't been caught in a "Catch 22" situation where she is bound contractually to lying about the truth since before the catfish episode.  I think the catfish episode was the act of a desperate woman who was in a legal bind to stay quiet about her marriage being technically over.  That's why it was done surreptitiously and why she didn't just go out and date like a normal person.  The only reason Kody got mad at her about the catfish episode is that it went PUBLIC and outed more problems in the relationship than even were public at that time.  I doubt that even at that point he gave a rat's ass about Meri nor was he hurt by her "infidelity of the heart".   His anger is all about how he thinks that being made public hurt his and the family's (and polygamy's) image.  I think Kody decided to go ahead with making the divorce public afterward and whitewashed it by claiming it was to adopt Robyn's children.  He made the payback her continued charade about being "spiritually married" to him for appearances sake.  I think that she's still under some kind of gag order or nondisclosure agreement to keep up the charade for the show.  I don't think either of them want to embark upon a real relationship with each other in the future and Meri is still trying to figure out how to leave him but still keep up the appearance of being in the family to honor the contract - which is why she came up with the B&B idea.  I think she saw that as a way to straddle both independence and honoring her contract by keeping up the charade of still being in a relationship with Kody and the family.

Edited by Yeah No
Consistency.
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(edited)

Reality shows definitely mess with our minds. Hard to tell what is really up with the Browns but I would think TLC would be happy to let them follow a break-up story line. The drama! Always good for ratings. (Or maybe not? I guess maybe it didn’t help the Roloffs.)

i suspect Meri is hoping for a Christine-style miracle, where Kody decides to add her back to the rotation. But Kody flat out told Christine “if you love the family, then I will love you.” Christine is able to play the game but Meri can’t or won’t. And as I keep saying, if I were in her shoes I would find it very hard to be all happy and sisterly with THREE women who (deliberately or not) helped break my heart. And she did get screwed out of being First Wife, which in their faith IS a thing. I would be resentful, too. 

Edited by Tabbygirl521
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14 hours ago, Pachengala said:

That was funny, but also, why in the hell didn’t KODY tell her not to call? The woman clearly made his wives uncomfortable, and it was his responsibility to respect them and tell this woman where he stands. That was so gross to me, how he gets to giggle and toss his hair all, ‘Oh, these ladies fighting over little ol’ me!’ when he’s supposed to be the HEAD of this family. Ugh! 

Absolutely Kody should have put a stop to it, much earlier, but of course he wouldn't because of the ego boost.  However, from watching/listening to Christine re-tell it, it looked like she enjoyed the crap out of playing that role -- the woman who has a man that another woman desires.  I was super surprised how weak Meri was in her own depiction -- that when the woman called, she didn't want her talking to Kody, but just meekly handed the phone to Kody anyway, as though she were completely powerless.  

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1 hour ago, Kellyee said:

On multiple occasions, it has come up that Kody favors his sons over his daughters, and that he spends more time with Janelle's kids than he ever does with Christine's kids. On the episode where Maddy leaves for college, she says it quite clearly that she and Kody don't have a close relationship. Kody only favors her now because he is so ridiculously in love with her husband. 

YES. One of the most enraging things about this completely enraging man-child is his horrible, inequitable, capricious parenting. His kids are so desperate for his attention that their acting-out and attention-seeking behavior is over the top. I had a dad who wasn’t super interested in us, and I recognize what it looks like to try desperately to win a parent’s attention. Kody is interested in his kids the same way he’s interested in his wives: how good can they make him look? How manly can they make him feel? How little can he give to ensure his own needs are being met? He is emphatically NOT a good parent. 

The kids are going to experience the repercussions of his narcissism and benign neglect for the rest of their lives; the girls have already started, marrying the first men they meet who pay them any attention. It’ll only get worse for the Ysabels and Truelys of the group, who not only got close to no fatherly attention, but also suffered their father’s disdain for their mother. 

I cannot imagine looking at Kody Brown and his selfish, gaping neediness and thinking this is an example of a good father. 

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On 4/3/2018 at 1:22 AM, Yeah No said:

Kody is still pissed at Meri for "cheating" on him, as he shares his bed and theoretically has sex with 3 other women right in front of her.  What a huge entitled ego he has!  One would think he'd show her more compassion considering his advantages over her, but noooooo......He's only pissed about how this makes him look bad to the world and now she's suffering his wrath for daring to do that to him!  Narcissist, much?

The only reason he doesn't want her to publicly admit to her responsibility in getting involved with the catfish is because he thinks it would make polygamy look worse if she does.  But he is clearly angry with her for it, if only because even not admitting her responsibility still makes him and polygamy look a little bad.  Nothing would have pleased him other than if she just sucked up to him and let him reject her without acting out about it thus letting the world know that all was not rosy in "paradise".  I personally think he's abusive and that he was clearly rejecting her for a long time before she acted out with the catfish.

The more I learn about this bunch, the more I feel like Meri had this polygamy thing shoved down her throat from the get-go.  She may have thought it was a good idea to go along with it in order to stay with him at the time, but in the end that was the wrong decision for her, and this is the price she is paying for trading her self-respect for staying married to him.  The sacrifice was too much in the end. I know it would have been hard to leave, but she really should have left before it got to the point of pursuing the catfish.  Staying with Kody and the family has only brought her to the point of acting out of selfishness and attempting to get whatever "payback" she can for having been rejected by him.  I even think her insistence on having her own huge house to herself complete with wet bar was part of that.  She already had less than the other women in not being able to have more kids and being virtually dumped by Kody so the house became a symbol for her to have at least some of what the other women were having.  She saw the house as payback for all she had suffered through.  She actually may have suffered through a lot with Kody but the house wasn't going to make up for him effectively dumping her in his heart.

Christine said she hated to see Kody and Meri's "two broken hearts".  Yeah, right, sure.  All he has to do to forget about Meri is ignore her and concentrate on his 3 other wives while she has her nose rubbed in what "she did wrong" every minute she continues to stay there and watch them carry on without her.

I don't believe for one minute that the other wives want them to work things out.  They don't give a rat's ass and are over Meri as long as king Ko-douchebag is over her.

I also don't believe for one minute that Kody wants to work things out with Meri but "doesn't know how".  The only reason she's still around is because of contractual obligations with the show and they all tolerate her just because of that alone.  Otherwise it looks like they don't see her that much anymore.  She's only worth ratings to them.  Then they pat themselves on the back for staying together when other couples in "today's society" would part?  What a freaking LIE and an implied dis on the rest of society!  At this point she's only there for the money and to keep up the appearance that they haven't turned their backs on her, who are they kidding?  They have to keep up this charade that they are being compassionate to her!  It's the only way they can salvage their attempt at making polygamy look good!

As if a guy with 4 wives has any room at all to criticize a man with 10 wives.  People in glass houses and all that....And his hair!  He goes from cave man to angry man-bun/pony tail and that's supposed to be an improvement?  Gah!

Mykelti and Tony are settling into the mediocrity that their personalities encourage each other to be which explains Mykelti's weight gain to match Tony.  They bring out the worst in each other.  Christine mentioned how Mykelti had big plans that she ditched because of Tony and then excused it by saying it was "her destiny" to have done that or whatever crap she has to convince herself of and/or say it is publicly on TV so as not to look bad.

Janelle claims she is a feminist?  LOL, seriously?

 OMG I agree with everything you say. I especially like how you talked about Mary and her relationship with him. I have been saying all along that I think she felt dumped and that is the only reason she got involved with that other person. And the way they treat her she could have slept with the other person and they couldn't treat her any worse. Watching the reunion show I like to watch the reactions of the other people when she speaks, and the other wives do not look like they even like her.

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1 hour ago, antfitz said:

 OMG I agree with everything you say. I especially like how you talked about Mary and her relationship with him. I have been saying all along that I think she felt dumped and that is the only reason she got involved with that other person. And the way they treat her she could have slept with the other person and they couldn't treat her any worse. Watching the reunion show I like to watch the reactions of the other people when she speaks, and the other wives do not look like they even like her.

I don’t  believe for a minute ANY of those women like each other!  Anytime Kooty is on the outs with one of the wives, it just makes the other ones currently in his favor feel more secure of THEIR spot in his horny heart.  

Christine can't contain her glee at being The Chosen One right now....and the way she was trying  to pseudo comfort/ reassure Meri was so phony.  Robyn looks like a PTSD sufferer...she looks tired and disillusioned.  Janelle always has this brooding, calculating look, like a viper biding it’s time.  Meri is just such a negative downer of a person....the only time she really smiles is when she talks about Mariah and Audrey.

Thank goodness this is an anonymous board....I would be embarrassed to have anyone know I’ve put this much thought into it lol!

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8 hours ago, tabloidlover said:

My husband was 19 and I was 18 when we started out.   Studio apt, broke as a joke.   We made a commitment and while it hasn't all been roses and rainbows, we are still here 30 years later.   The hard work is worth it.

Same thing for me except I was 21 and he was 23.  We dragged in furniture off the street, used melon crates for a coffee table!  Our commitment has survived 2 separations and couples counseling, and now 40 years later we're stronger than ever because we refused to give up and truly love each other.  Something that worthwhile is never that easy!

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