S06.E10: Screams and Queens

[OnceSane]

Quote

Ariana shines as the belle of the ball, while an embarrassed Stassi runs off in tears; Schwartz and Sandoval celebrate the approval of TomTom's permits by writing hefty checks; Sandoval and Ariana work through their intimacy issues.

[yourmomiseasy]

I am counting the minutes until I hear Stassi scolding "It's my birthday!"  Classic Stassi.  Someone needs to put together a supercut of her saying that.

[biakbiak]

7 minutes ago, yourmomiseasy said:

I am counting the minutes until I hear Stassi scolding "It's my birthday!"  Classic Stassi.  Someone needs to put together a supercut of her saying that.

[yourmomiseasy]

Yaaaassssssss! 

 

The Stassi and Katie fight in Cabo on Stassi's birthday is my favorite VPR thing ever.  

Edited February 13, 2018 by yourmomiseasy

[Wicked]

How have I not ever noticed how odd Ariana's ears are?

[Emmeline]

24 minutes ago, Wicked said:

How have I not ever noticed how odd Ariana's ears are?

I noticed it tonight for the first time too.  It looked like an elf.  I’m also sick of hearing about her vagina.  Good Lord, when she was initially introduced to the show she seemed very confident and not so into appearance.  It’s interesting to see how these people evolve or devolve as the years go by.

I had to add, I love a man in a kilt.  I think I need to go back to Scotland.

Edited February 13, 2018 by Emmeline
Added

[whydoievencare]

When Ariana and Tom first got together, did she forget that she has such horrific body image problems because her previous boyfriend vagina-shamed her?  Did she only remember this at the start of this season?  

[AntAnn]

7 minutes ago, Emmeline said:

 It looked like an elf.

Thought the same!

 

and....I’m also tired of hearing about her vagina ... ?

Edited February 13, 2018 by AntAnn
Tired of vagina

[farmgal4]

So Ariana has been faking orgasms.  Let’s see a show of hands, I mean, hearts:  Have YOU ever faked an orgasm?

[ticklemepink]

About 30 seconds into Ariana meeting with her “therapist” I got up off my couch, went to my freezer, pulled out my Trader Joe’s Mandarin orange chicken, and put it in the oven, and came back to my couch once the scene was over.

 

Get rid of her. She’s boring.

[bosawks]

I don’t think Arianna is going to get the reaction she expects by this version of herself as the oh so damaged cool girl.

[Steph J]

Congratulations to Kevin Lee, who managed the incredible feat of issuing an apology that makes a Jax apology seem sincere in comparison.

[ihartcoffee]

Crystal is good sauce.

 

Don't care to know so much about Ariana's vagina. 

[ihartcoffee]

20 minutes ago, whydoievencare said:

When Ariana and Tom first got together, did she forget that she has such horrific body image problems because her previous boyfriend vagina-shamed her?  Did she only remember this at the start of this season?  

She just wanted to stick it to Kristen,  but now the thrill is gone.  Kristen is a non factor.  

[farmgal4]

10 minutes ago, Steph J said:

Congratulations to Kevin Lee, who managed the incredible feat of issuing an apology that makes a Jax apology seem sincere in comparison.

I agree.  Zero sincerity in that apology, and Lisa noticed it too.  He may not be her event planner much longer.

[Wicked]

How did Stassi end up with Patrick, he is the worst, he makes Jax look good.

[Fiero425]

18 minutes ago, Steph J said:

Congratulations to Kevin Lee, who managed the incredible feat of issuing an apology that makes a Jax apology seem sincere in comparison.

It was worthless since you know LVP "made him do it" if he wanted her to continue being a client! ;-)

[bosawks]

I wonder if Kristen could get Groupon rate for Arianna at her therapist?

[Fiero425]

12 minutes ago, ihartcoffee said:

She just wanted to stick it to Kristen,  but now the thrill is gone.  Kristen is a non factor.  

They were all over one another! IIRC she was just wearing a suit jacket with boobs and coochie all hanging out with his hand in her lap! Please! She has to be acting for the TV season! ;-)

11 minutes ago, Wicked said:

How did Stassi end up with Patrick, he is the worst, he makes Jax look good.

Him and his greasy man-bun! Why would he tell those harpies "Stassi can bang anyone she wants?" ;-)

Edited February 13, 2018 by Fiero425

[Primal Slayer]

How come Lisa cant be this vindictive and bitchy on RHOBH? She said it herself that Jax never did anything to her but he was late once to a party and she is disgusted by his presence? 

[Mindthinkr]

42 minutes ago, Emmeline said:

kilt.  I think I need to go back to Scotland.

Oh yeah. Absolutely a great place. You know what’s under their sporran’s!! 

[dosodog]

9 minutes ago, ticklemepink said:

About 30 seconds into Ariana meeting with her “therapist” I got up off my couch, went to my freezer, pulled out my Trader Joe’s Mandarin orange chicken, and put it in the oven, and came back to my couch once the scene was over.

 

Get rid of her. She’s boring.

My dog, who generally annoys me with the "in and out" game while I'm trying to watch a show, TOTALLY did me a solid tonight.  30 seconds in and I "had" to leave the room!  I came back right around faking orgasms.

19 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

So Ariana has been faking orgasms.  Let’s see a show of hands, I mean, hearts:  Have YOU ever faked an orgasm?

Yes.  I have and I have no shame.  I expect Larry Wilmore (sniff miss you on my tv) to send me my 100% sticker.

Why couldn't the dog go outside during the bumping conversation.  Baahhh!  I don't want to deal with your bullshit anymore either. 

I know Stassi's party ends horribly, but that's the one I would want to go to.  And I would dress up as a dead person with my throat ripped out.  Yeah!

Ariana's party seems like a whole lot of people who need mirrors.  Sandavol looked incredible.  Head turning spectacular. 

Someone hand Stassi a dull spoon STAT! 

Alcohol.  Yup.  Stassi and Katie should have stuck to cannanis.  Ass shots lead to ass hole behavior. And possibly  pink eye or e coli.

Ariana is way too interested in Stassi's life for someone who can't stand her...

[Fiero425]

1 minute ago, Primal Slayer said:

How come Lisa cant be this vindictive and bitchy on RHOBH? She said it herself that Jax never did anything to her but he was late once to a party and she is disgusted by his presence? 

Jax is just too fk'n old to behave like a frat boy! It's not cute and I would have been told him to get lost! What hasn't he done? He's stolen from her, taken advantage of her forgiving nature, and is so disrespectful! l-)

[bosawks]

Jax is so puffy and sweaty I’m getting sympathy heart palpitations.

[Primal Slayer]

I want to know why Patrick chose to finally come on the show, be ugly as hell, have a terrible personality, and have a man bun. 

[Fiero425]

Just now, Primal Slayer said:

I want to know why Patrick chose to finally come on the show, be ugly as hell, have a terrible personality, and have a man bun. 

Stassi deserves him! Finally someone who isn't running to her "beck and call!" I'm shocked she's put up with it for this long! He's a real D!ck! ;-)

[bosawks]

What’s greasier?  Patrick’s man bun or his personality.....

[nexxie]

17 minutes ago, bosawks said:

I wonder if Kristen could get Groupon rate for Arianna at her therapist?

Maybe Stassi could get that deal too!

[Duke2801]

Ugh did I accidentally tune into the Vagina Monologues instead of Vanderpump Rules?  Do not care about Arianna’s kitty cat issues. At least her party seemed kinda fun.

Stassi acting like a spoiled diva at her birthday party? To quote Bethenny F, that’s so two-thousand and who cares. You’re too old to be acting like that. On the other hand, maybe she needs to get that loaded to deal with Patrick, The Douchnozzle. 

Something about Stassi’s mom annoys the hell out of me. 

[Mindthinkr]

3 minutes ago, nexxie said:

Maybe Stassi could get that deal too!

LOL

[bosawks]

2 minutes ago, Duke2801 said:

Something about Stassi’s mom annoys the hell out of me. 

Her progeny?

[Fiero425]

4 minutes ago, bosawks said:

Her progeny?

I prefer the term "demon spawn!" ;-)

[ivygirl]

56 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

So Ariana has been faking orgasms.  Let’s see a show of hands, I mean, hearts:  Have YOU ever faked an orgasm?

There’s a joke in here about faking enthusiasm for Ariana, but I’m too tired to come up with it...

[HunterHunted]

12 minutes ago, dosodog said:

Ariana's party seems like a whole lot of people who need mirrors. Sandoval looked incredible.  Head turning spectacular. 

What's so royal about chicks in bikinis and crowns? That didn't come across like kings and queens. It was more like narcissists who wanted to flaunt their summer bodies. However, Sandoval looked amazing. I have to note that he was wearing a kilt while he was deciding what to wear. Sartorially he always impresses me even when I hate what he's wearing.

17 minutes ago, Primal Slayer said:

I want to know why Patrick chose to finally come on the show, be ugly as hell, have a terrible personality, and have a man bun. 

I actually think Patrick came on to humiliate Stassi. They keep breaking up and Stassi keeps running back to him. I'm starting to think that Patrick knows that if he humiliates her on national tv, she'll stop coming back to him.

[WhosThatGirl]

I would have gone to Stassis party. A murder themed  birthday party seems more fun that a royal themed party.

Also yeah while Stassi is too old to be a drama queen at her birthday, all these people are too old to be acting the way they act. But that’s why we are watching them!

[yourmomiseasy]

So what I'm hearing is that Ariana doesn't look in the mirror every morning and thank her kitty for taking the D like a champ?

Edited February 13, 2018 by yourmomiseasy

[dosodog]

7 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

What's so royal about chicks in bikinis and crowns? That didn't come across like kings and queens. It was more like narcissists who wanted to flaunt their summer bodies. However, Sandoval looked amazing. I have to note that he was wearing a kilt while he was deciding what to wear. Sartorially he always impresses me even when I hate what he's wearing.

I actually think Patrick came on to humiliate Stassi. They keep breaking up and Stassi keeps running back to him. I'm starting to think that Patrick knows that if he humiliates her on national tv, she'll stop coming back to him.

I didn't articulate my point very well.  You made it better.  What I meant by people who need mirrors is....narcissists who like to see their reflections and summer bodies.   

That party seemed a whole lot of boring.  And Jax was there. 

[njbchlover]

1 hour ago, Steph J said:

Congratulations to Kevin Lee, who managed the incredible feat of issuing an apology that makes a Jax apology seem sincere in comparison.

That apology was more for Lisa's benefit than Katie's....Kevin Lee was just trying to protect his business relationship with Lisa.  

I don't think I've ever heard a more insincere apology - whether it was from Jax, any other chucklefuck on this show, or from any of the Real Housewives (and I have watched almost every episode of every Housewife franchise).

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Fiero425 said:

Him and his greasy man-bun! Why would he tell those harpies "Stassi can bang anyone she wants?" ;-)

Its so he can say "I can bang anyone I want as long as emotions aren't involved." when Stassi finds out he already is.

[walnutqueen]

1 hour ago, bosawks said:

What’s greasier?  Patrick’s man bun or his personality.....

Jax's face.

[Misslindsey]

I will be the one who would have rather went to Ariana's party. It did not look awesome or better, but I was as appalled as Schwartz by the ranch dressing fountain. Plus I cannot stand Stassi or her family and I would have rather just showed up to Ariana's to see Sandoval's outfit.

Sigh...I hated the Stassi/Patrick drama when he did not appear on the show. I am even more over it now.

Edited February 13, 2018 by Misslindsey

[Fiero425]

2 minutes ago, Misslindsey said:

I will be the one who would have rather went to Ariana's party. It did not look awesome or better, but I was as appalled as Schwartz by the ranch dressing fountain. Plus I cannot stand Stassi or her family and I would have rather just showed up to Ariana's to see Sandoval's outfit.

Was Stassi's brother there? I thought I heard he was to be invited? Seems a little young to be hanging around a bunch of drunks even though he's had enough experience with that wretched sister of his! ;-)

[Marley]

Her older brother was there. I thought it was gonna be that annoying little kid but thankfully it wasn’t.

Ariana is so smug about everything. I want to enjoy watching her but her smugness is overpowering.

Stassi ran off cause her boyfriend is a douche who prob came to her party and ignored her and flirted with other chicks just to piss her off. 

The ranch fountain was pretty disgusting looking.

I don’t think I would wanna go to either party. I hate murder themed stuff and Ariana’s party seemed to be full of ppl who think way too high of themself. Plus who the Fuck was that Joe Montana performing? That was embarrassing to see lol.

[HunterHunted]

18 minutes ago, Misslindsey said:

I was as appalled as Schwartz by the ranch dressing fountain.

That was truly disgusting and they were dipping Dominos pizza into it. These people have the worst taste in food.

5 minutes ago, Marley said:

I don’t think I would wanna go to either party. I hate murder themed stuff and Ariana’s party seemed to be full of ppl who think way too high of themself.

I'm team neither party. I would have sent bottles of wine to each of them like Lisa and happily kept my ass at home.

[Sun-Bun]

OKay, Stassi's party just looked so dingy and stinky and gross to me. I'm sure it was way more fun overall than the royal douchelords party of Arianna's((if only to laugh at Patrick O'Greasybun taking potshots at drunk Stassi)), but murder themes and dead zombies hanging in what looked like a rotting shed with a ratty ranch fountain and sad pizza boxes just ain't my bag...at least pretty people flaunting summer bodies are more pleasant to look at.

Although that hideous boyband at the end of Arianna's shindig, da fuq was that shit all about? I'd rather see "Good As Gold" lip-synched by Jax in gold lamae booty shorts!

Speaking of Arianna...I loved how my husband walked into the room during the scene where she's talking about hating her vagina and said "Oh, I'm sure her vagina isn't that bad! She needs to just show it off and let the rest of us be the judge."

Note to all: if your "boyfriend" is blocking your number while he vacations solo? Girl, he ain't your boyfriend! Obviously homeboy completely dickmatized Stassi's dumb ass.

[Fiero425]

2 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

That was truly disgusting and they were dipping Dominos pizza into it. These people have the worst taste in food.

I'm team neither party. I would have sent bottles of wine to each of them like Lisa and happily kept my ass at home.

Katie was overjoyed at her engagement party or was it a bachelorette affair where they stacked up Taco Bell on a silver tray? Gag me! ;-(

[hoodooznoodooz]

Poor Tom. It must be very confusing to be Ariana's boyfriend.

[ivygirl]

It’s too bad Jax was such a douche to LVP last episode. Because I’d say World Dog Day is the *ideal* place for him to make an appearance.

 

In other news: I used to think Sandoval was odd looking, but darn it if he doesn’t look super cute to me now. I wouldn’t DATE him (or anything else), but he’s cute. Even in a tuxedo shirt topped with a drapey sweater and adorned with a bow tie. And he’s funny. (Jax is going to miss out on “a lotta hot bitches” at the dog event. Hee.)

3 hours ago, Steph J said:

Congratulations to Kevin Lee, who managed the incredible feat of issuing an apology that makes a Jax apology seem sincere in comparison.

 

2 hours ago, farmgal4 said:

I agree.  Zero sincerity in that apology, and Lisa noticed it too.  He may not be her event planner much longer.

Lisa looked 100% unimpressed. I loved the wide-eyed look of disbelief she shot towards Katie after Kevin Lee gave Katie the (probably leftover) flowers and “okay? Sorreeeeee?” 

Edited February 13, 2018 by ivygirl

[hoodooznoodooz]

"I'm sorry, dear. I love you, Lisa."

It's wonderful that Katie is confident about her body. 

Katie and Kristen are pretty good at applying gore makeup. 

Sometimes Kristen reminds me of "Lily" on "Modern Family."

[yourmomiseasy]

My mom called during VPR so I only caught the end live.  I need to go back and watch the rest, but I think I'm going to torture myself by watching the Summer house shitshow.  When I told my mom I needed to get off the phone because it was Stassi's fucking birthday she told me I need to rethink my TV viewing habits.  What a hater.  But she might be right.

On a show filled to the gills with horrible people, Patrick is the absolute worst.  Why was Stassi so happy that he decided to show up?  She might be an asshole, but she could do better.  He actually makes me angry.  He might be so shitty that he makes Jax look good.

Of course FI has a costume guy.  Probably in the speed dial spot right after his braid guy.

I can't believe Katie got stuck paying $1400 for Stassi's party.  Stassi will probably pay her back, but it is still super shitty.

Edited February 13, 2018 by yourmomiseasy