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The Lonely Js Club: James, Jackson & Johannah


Message added by Scarlett45,

Discussing the charges against Jana is fine, but do not post any information that reveals her address/contact information- even if said documents are public (i.e. a part of court proceedings.)

Discussing charges against Jana is NOT a jumping off point to speculate on other instances abuse/neglect etc towards the M-children or to elaborate on Josh's conviction and potential victims.  

 

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I want to send Jana a nice candle set for her birthday, and maybe some healing herbs. Yes, i realize it's weird. Yes, I've caught the leg humper disease.

I (kinda) do, too ! That poor girl needs something - ANYTHING - to brighten up her life ! The day to day drudgery of her indentured servitude must be mind-numbingly repetitious, and every time I think of her as being 25 and still never having held hands with, let alone kissed, a boy/man it makes my sympathetic nature just go apeshit. 

 

When I was her age I was well into my career, traveling for both business and pleasure, perfecting my 90s rum-raisin lip and big-shouldered power-suit game, dating and having a BLAST. But what does Jana have ? What does she DO ???

 

Bathing and dressing children ? Wiping snotty noses ? Corralling Howlers and Lost Girls on the bus to go to the dentist, doctor, optometrist, grocery store, thrift store ? Preparing endless meals and snacks ? Cleaning up after said endless meals and snacks ? Opening and responding to ALL the Duggar mail ? Shoveling a metric ton of laundry into the washers and dryers ? Socializing with only those who have passed muster with Ma and Pa Duggar and having no friends of her own choosing ? 

 

Where is Jana in all of this ? Her needs, her wants, her aspirations ? The older boys all have their own "thing", including a freaking AIRPLANE, but Jana gets only domestic duties, unpaid office-worker tasks, and babysitting that now includes her siblings' children as well.

 

It's simply infuriating. Even Cinderella got to go to the ball eventually...

  • Love 24
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Ma and Pa Duggar have never been known for "encouraging" their "blessings" emotional or intellectual growth. Their raison d'etre appears to be the suppression of identity through control, indifference, and benign neglect. It is unfathomable to consider how stifling life in the TTH must be for the Duggar spawn, having been "trained" by two asshats that have zero self-awareness. I feel sad for the female offspring, especially for Jana and now Joy. I even feel sorry for Jill and Jessa. To quote Mame Dennis, "Life's a banquet and most poor sons-of-bitches are starving to death."

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Jana has been "pure" her whole life, in the ways we know Michelle hasn't. No mowing grass in a bikini, no making out with boys, knees covered up...All the things Michelle despises about herself, Jana has not done. She's jealous of her.

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I wonder if it is not too late for Jana to have any other kind of a life.  Perhaps she has missed completely the age of development where she might be able to socially interact with people who were not exactly like herself.  Sure I'd love to see her hop in the SUV and scoot down to the local watering hole, even if she only drank water.  Maybe play some pool.  I don't think she could manage a job of any kind at this point.  Not in the non-Gothard business world.  It makes me sad to think she is past that critical stage in her life where she could have developed these skills.

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I want to send Jana a nice candle set for her birthday, and maybe some healing herbs. Yes, i realize it's weird. Yes, I've caught the leg humper disease.

Could you make up some kind of non-Jesus tracts to include in your gift? Something like this maybe?

 

quote+eleanor+roosevelt.png

  • Love 7
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I sometimes think Jana is a lost cause. It takes strength to throw everything away for an uncertain future. What does Jana think is out there for her? I'm guessing everything she sees is told to her as bad or evil or "we don't do that in our family". We all say "come stay with me" and we mean it but to her we are wicked and threatening. I think all we can hope for is some suitor that pleases Boob also pleases Jana and he will need a lot of patience. She is used to being busy. Moving to her own house and headship will take a lot of getting used to. Empty days. Cleaning and cooking for two is not that arduous. Can't read. Can't have friends. Can't watch tv. What's a girl to do?

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It's simply infuriating. Even Cinderella got to go to the ball eventually...

 

 

There's a reason Cinderella is a fairy tale.

 

I think that at her age there's little hope of Jana getting out at all. Largely because, as others have mentioned, she has no reason to hope that she could succeed in the "outside world" (because she's been prevented from learning anything that might tell her that she could -- which is tragic, since she's obviously competent and conscientious enough to do just fine) and because she's passed a lot of developmental stages -- without developing -- that will never come again. ....

 

Some upheaval could get her out in a physical sense. And that would be great. Nevertheless, even if that happens, she'll live a constrained life in many ways, most likely.  In real life Cinderellas tend to be so warped that they keep themselves from going to the ball, even when they don't live at the stepmother's house any longer. Still good to be away from the wickeds. But the wickeds' wicked constraining messages have been carefully implanted deep inside Cinderella's brain, and the brain takes over the task of constraining Cindy, right where the wickeds left off. Very unlikely that Jana will ever experience anything wild and free, unfortunately.

Edited by Churchhoney
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One of the Bates girls worked as a nanny, right? Why not Jana? At least be paid for her work.

 

With childcare being her only skill, I'd like to see Jana move to NY and get a job as a live-in nanny to a wealthy couple with one or two elementary school-aged children, at least 8 or 9 years old.  That way, Jana would have some time to herself when they're in school.  And in my fantasy, the rich couple would encourage her to take a course or two at the nearest college and they'd pay for it. And they'd introduce her to classic books, popular music, and all the greatest TV shows and movies ever made.  And she'd accompany the family to museums, Broadway shows, trips to Europe, etc.  A whole new world would open up to her.  It won't happen, but it's nice to think about.  

Edited by Gemma Violet
  • Love 12
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With childcare being her only skill, I'd like to see Jana move to NY and get a job as a live-in nanny to a wealthy couple with one or two elementary school-aged children, at least 8 or 9 years old.  That way, Jana would have some time to herself when they're in school.  And in my fantasy, the rich couple would encourage her to take a course or two at the nearest college and they'd pay for it. And they'd introduce her to classic books, popular music, and all the greatest TV shows and movies ever aired.  And she'd accompany the family to museums, Broadway shows, trips to Europe, etc.  A whole new world would open up to her.  It won't happen, but it's nice to think about.  

Nice scenario...I wonder, actually, what would happen if, say, such a couple, though with reasonably strict Christian leanings, were to contact the Duggars and ask them if, perchance, Jana would consider such a position as they were so impressed with her capabilities, and, frankly, there are more than enough J'Slaves still at home to take up the slack. If they offered a sizable salary and spoke convincingly of the perks (while, of course, couching them in Christian terminology so as not to make them sound TOO terribly defrauding)...what WOULD happen? Would Jana have a say? Would she be tempted? Would Jim Bob be tempted, assuming her earnings would somehow make their way back to the family coffers? Is it conceivable that there are some reasonably wealthy and just-liberal-enough-not-to-be-threatening-leg-humpers out there with the need for a nanny who might get this idea in their heads? 

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Wouldn't Jana be facing stiff competition from super overqualified multilingual college graduates for the fantasy nanny job? She's really not trained to do anything. Would she even know that New York is supposed to have some irresistible allure to 25(-ish) single women like her?

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Practically speaking, Jana would be lost. Nannies have to be resourceful problem-solvers and she simply does not have the knowledge and savvy it would take to handle nannying outside of her fundie circle. It's been speculated on these boards many a time that Jana might be intentionally avoiding marriage. If she did have a boy she liked and her parents nixed it, that wouldn't surprise me. She found someone she liked, and she wasn't allowed to have him--message received. She's either going to have to marry some Jim Bob leghumping freak and start Pez-dispensering out her own collection, or hang around the waiting room for the rest of her life, making herself indispensable as the caretaker of her siblings, nieces and nephews. If I was totally convinced those were my only two choices, I'd pick the waiting room, too.

  • Love 12
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Wouldn't Jana be facing stiff competition from super overqualified multilingual college graduates for the fantasy nanny job? She's really not trained to do anything. 

 

She's an incredibly hard worker with I'm assuming a lot of common sense and seems to have a sweet personality and a love for children.  I think any family would be lucky to have her.  (Unless of course she takes it upon herself to preach Duggar teachings to the kids or even the parents.  But she doesn't seem the type to preach.)

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She's an incredibly hard worker with I'm assuming a lot of common sense and seems to have a sweet personality and a love for children.  I think any family would be lucky to have her.  (Unless of course she takes it upon herself to preach Duggar teachings to the kids or even the parents.  But she doesn't seem the type to preach.)

The show where Josie had a seizure would stop a lot of folks from hiring her as a nanny. She didn't handle that well and actually made it worse by misunderstanding 911's directions. 

 

Also some of the Duggars' redirections would bother me. IMHO, babies should dance and explore as well as be read too. I think it would be her natural inclination to stop those behaviors, and I don't see her doing a naptime routine or story time.

Edited by GeeGolly
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Jana does seem sad and withdrawn, but I don't think she has expressed any desire to live in NY or do anything adventurous. That's ok. Although the goal of this fundie group is to marry early and have as many kids as possible, it looks like a whole lot of them don't do that. They're not interested or allowed to show interest in higher education or corporate careers, but honestly, the rate of them marrying early or late seems pretty comparable to the general population. I wonder what the exact numbers are, but looks like there's a bunch who get married at 20 or so, then some more in mid-late 20s, then a few who marry much later or never do. Pretty typical of young adults in general, IMO.

 

I would like to know how much of Jana's sadness is from being 'over' the whole TV show, sick of being questioned to death about when she's going to get married and start spitting out 100 kids, along with just knowing that the whole 19 Kids/Mother of the Year schtick is built on deception and lies. Knowing about Josh's transgressions, Michelle's horrible parenting, Jim Bob's perversion, the money scams, Gothard's pervert ways, and then having leg humper fans and the world know your family as Perfect Christians would take a toll on anyone with a brain and a conscience. Question anything, or spill the beans, and you're going straight to hell AND having thousands hate you....that's a lot to digest.

 

Someone mentioned Jana may not want to be married or have kids, but having that life shoved down her throat as the only one pleasing to God, that has to be rough, too. If she has no choice but to do all the work and raise her siblings, while Michelle makes out and crunches her hair all day, that's despicable. If she is choosing to forgo college, a job, marriage, etc., to be a SAHD, she's put it on herself.

 

I highly suspect that she's not only an introvert who feels more comfortable at home, but also that she's one the Dull as Dishwater end of the Duggar personality spectrum. They all seem to be going 0 or 90 mph. Jana may be 0, like JD, Joseph, etc.

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Wouldn't Jana be facing stiff competition from super overqualified multilingual college graduates for the fantasy nanny job? She's really not trained to do anything. Would she even know that New York is supposed to have some irresistible allure to 25(-ish) single women like her?

 

Yes, it's true that NYC nannying families do want second languages and able young women.  Swimming, lifesaving techniques, horseback riding, etc.  She might also be taken advantage of, financially that is, though even the "we pay our nanny bargain basement rates" would be a plus to and for her.

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I would also love to see Jana with a nice job nannying for a wealthy family and starting a whole new life enjoying college classes, new friends and living alife for once.

I cant believe anyone meeting Jana for the first time as a suitor, would skip right over her and go to Jill.

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I like to think Janna is silently putting up with this shit and waiting for the right time to grab some of the kids and bolt.  Or, like my cat, plotting to kill. (I kid about the second one.)  But seriously, and I hate to speculate because that would mean people speculate as to why I don't want to get married or have kids, but it could be she actually enjoys her life.  Or it could be she feels obligated to her siblings.  Or it could be she's just a misery chick and in any other setting would be gothed out and listening to too much Cure.

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I actually think the older kids know a LOT more about popular culture and get access the "outside" world a lot more than their parents think they do and that they'll ever let on.  I think they know ways around technological "barriers" to get to mainstream websites, etc. and I think they work within their ranks to be able to do and see things their parents wouldn't approve of. 

 

Of course they're horribly programmed, but I think those kids are all shiftier, craftier and sneakier than their parents will ever give them credit for.  Hell, all they have to do is stroll around Target, listen to conversations and pick up a whole lot of "bad" info.  Listen to Beyonce's newest release, check out the cheap lingerie and page through the latest Cosmo.  

 

I think it happens.  

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I actually think the older kids know a LOT more about popular culture and get access the "outside" world a lot more than their parents think they do and that they'll ever let on.  I think they know ways around technological "barriers" to get to mainstream websites, etc. and I think they work within their ranks to be able to do and see things their parents wouldn't approve of. 

 

Of course they're horribly programmed, but I think those kids are all shiftier, craftier and sneakier than their parents will ever give them credit for.  Hell, all they have to do is stroll around Target, listen to conversations and pick up a whole lot of "bad" info.  Listen to Beyonce's newest release, check out the cheap lingerie and page through the latest Cosmo.  

 

I think it happens.  

Absolutely agree. Those kids aren't nearly as sheltered as the ones in pre-TLC time were. They travel a lot. They all have internet. They're constantly being interviewed and going to churches, conventions, etc.

 

Interesting to see people projecting their own preferences and ideas on Jana. I see no reason to think that she would ever want to live in NYC, getting paid to wipe the snotty noses of a rich family's kids. Believe it or not, there are plenty of well-educated people here in flyover country who think NYC would be all that and a bag of chips to visit but loathe the idea of living there. Like me.

 

As a fantasy, the NYC nanny thing is a contrast to Jana's situation: having to wipe the snotty noses of your siblings, nieces, and nephews, for no pay, in Bumfuck, Arkansas. But IMO it's all fantasy and projection, however kindly intended. 

 

Absolutely agree. NYC is an awesome place to visit, but I have never had any desire to live there - don't want to be that far from my family and the lifestyle just isn't for me. Jana has never given any indication of wanting to live there, or be another family's nanny, either. I was very sheltered as a kid - TV and music were limited, parents ALWAYS knew where we were, didn't do sleepovers outside of family and a few very close friends, etc., but I learned more about sex, drugs, and rock and roll from other kids at church and church functions like Bible school, waiting on parents after services, lock ins, etc., - usually the pastor's kids knew more and were sneakier than any other kids.

 

One of the dumbest and naivest things parents - religious or not - do is either presume their kids only know what the parents have told them directly, and not consider that kids have minds and personalities of their own, and absorb so much from a variety of sources. The Duggars are really strange (duh), because they fall into the category of thinking their kids have no idea about anything, but at the same time, automatically think their kids are vile sinners, and its the normal routine for them to not be able to control their actions or sexual desires. These people are nuts.

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I think people see Jana as a nanny because a) she has no skills other than childcare and b) she'd get paid for her slave labor, rather than toiling away for JimBoob for free.

Maybe Jana is happy with the status quo, but it seems a little unfair that JD lives and works independently, Josh had moved to DC and Joseph is away at college, while Jana and Jinger are stuck at home.

  • Love 10
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Jinger appears happy with the status quo, but I think she'd be happiest - sincerely happies, and not forced upon by Gothard - as a homemaker. She did a lot of eye rolling in the beginning, and talked about dreams of living in a city, but honestly, in the same sense as a lot of 12 year olds imagine they're going to be the next Katy Perry or LeBron James. Nice dream, but it ain't happening.

 

She's also lacks that steamroller, dominant personality that Jill and Jessa have. I think Jinger would benefit from not having to be the family leader and decision maker, but the more supportive spouse. Jinger will function with an arranged marriage better than any of them so far, in my opinion.

 

Jana, whatever her deal is, just continues to look so tired and sad. Maybe she's tired to the tv filming, the attention, the drama, the secrets, etc. Maybe she has Resting Sad Face instead of Resting Bitch Face.  

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I don't see either girl leaving their families or going away to school at this point. I would be happy if one (or both) met a nice guy with Christian values (not too fanatical) in their mid/late 20s who is able to support themselves without relying on JB, sees through the Duggars but tolerates them for the sake of their wives and comes from a nice family that accepts them and treats them like their own daughters and shows them the unconditional love that they didn't receive from their parents.

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The Duggars are really strange (duh), because they fall into the category of thinking their kids have no idea about anything, but at the same time, automatically think their kids are vile sinners, and its the normal routine for them to not be able to control their actions or sexual desires. These people are nuts.

 

That's because they clearly believe in the opposite of tabula rasa, or that verse in Job which is, "man is born to trouble as surely as the sparks fly upward."  Our natural state, as soon as we gain any cognition of right and wrong, is to do wrong (steal the cookie from the cookie jar), because wrong is often easy and pleasurable in the short term.  It's satisfying to yell and swear at people, pleasurable to shoot up heroin, and so forth.

 

The kids shouldn't "get ideas" from anything; because in the Duggars' mind, if you don't get exposed to anything, you don't learn that anything fun, lively, or "wicked" exists as an option.  They will then put the blinders on and follow along in their circumscribed plodding.  JB and M think Josh only learned these things because he was let off the TTH compound.

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That's because they clearly believe in the opposite of tabula rasa, or that verse in Job which is, "man is born to trouble as surely as the sparks fly upward."  Our natural state, as soon as we gain any cognition of right and wrong, is to do wrong (steal the cookie from the cookie jar), because wrong is often easy and pleasurable in the short term.  It's satisfying to yell and swear at people, pleasurable to shoot up heroin, and so forth.

 

The kids shouldn't "get ideas" from anything; because in the Duggars' mind, if you don't get exposed to anything, you don't learn that anything fun, lively, or "wicked" exists as an option.  They will then put the blinders on and follow along in their circumscribed plodding.  JB and M think Josh only learned these things because he was let off the TTH compound.

And because they think this way, along with all sins being equal, they fail to see the big picture. Most folks are not in jail or in rehab. Most folks are given the opportunity to learn from lesser mistakes when young - like stealing a cookie from the cookie jar - so when they're free thinking adults they have better judgement.

 

IMHO, critical thinking skills are needed, even in a house filled with prayer. Maybe even more so. The Duggars keep their kids in the concrete, black & white stage of thinking. The Lonely Js probably think in ways very similar to the the Howlers & Lost Girls.  It's not the evil world that is putting them at a disadvantage, it's JB & M.

  • Love 6
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I really want to send Jana a beautiful new jewelry box.

I'm sure some leghumper grannies already have.......as well as gifts for the 3 babies. (My mom worked with a woman who sent clothes and toys to the English princes every payday....and my gramma had a friend who saved up her money and bought Clay Aiken's dog a Burberry leash. I wish I was making this crap up.)

 

As for the Lonely J's....I don't care anymore. They can stay locked up forever if that's what they want. The only one who will probably do whatever she wants is Josie, which she already does, so now I'm Team Josie for the win.

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Jana has been "pure" her whole life, in the ways we know Michelle hasn't. No mowing grass in a bikini, no making out with boys, knees covered up...All the things Michelle despises about herself, Jana has not done. She's jealous of her.

I think Michelle loves her "sinful" past, even though Boob uses it to keep her penitent. Jana was the first daughter and had some spirit. Once the blessings started dropping like ripe fruit, I think Jana (who as a small child may have resisted the yoke of responsibility mommy dearest wanted her to wear) brought out the worst in Michelle. We've heard how Michelle used to yell at the kids before she discovered the terrifying power of the baby-voiced whisper. I think that's when Jana made Michelle feel like a failure.

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My wish is for Jana to leave Landfill Lane, get a job, and BUY HER OWN JEWELY BOX which will rest, untouched by siblings, on her OWN dresser in her OWN room inher OWN apartment.

Thank you for not saying you want Jana to marry Tim Tebow or some other guy. Everyone says they want her to find a man, but that leaves out so many other wonderful possibilities for her. Her problem is not that she doesn't have a man, but that she doesn't have normal opportunities to make friends, have a career, travel on her own, etc.

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I predict that as much as we all want Jana to live a life we think would be better for her that in 5 years we will still be hoping for her to move out and away. Alas, the poor girl seems doomed by her circumstances and disposition. She might have had "Spunk" a long time ago but I think it has been knocked out of her. It takes a lot of energy to plan and execute such a move. I don't think Jana has that energy.

  • Love 5
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I predict that as much as we all want Jana to live a life we think would be better for her that in 5 years we will still be hoping for her to move out and away. Alas, the poor girl seems doomed by her circumstances and disposition. She might have had "Spunk" a long time ago but I think it has been knocked out of her. It takes a lot of energy to plan and execute such a move. I don't think Jana has that energy.

 

I think that's why people have been hoping for the man for Jana.  We know her get up and go has got up and went.

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I think that's why people have been hoping for the man for Jana.  We know her get up and go has got up and went.

I don't think a man would do it for her. She has to be "right" with herself in my opinion to have any satisfaction. What's the difference between Boob being her headship or a fundy Boob approved husband. Then she has to contend with the physical side of marriage and birthing those many babies. Maybe she likes girls!

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Well if the "there was somebody" thing was true, she likes guys. I don't think Jana would share her lesbian forbidden love with her sisters.

She could swing both ways, but that's not the issue.

I like Jana, don't get me wrong. She and Blessa are my favorites (i know, i know) but i don't think a guy could help her right now. She has no goals, no ambitions.. even the nicest guy in the planet would get sick of her, if the personality we see on TV is the same as her real one.

What would they talk about? Would she be okay watching a moive? She'd probably be filled with guilt over "abandoning" her childr- er, siblings.

I just want to see her happy. And i don't know if having a guy free her from duggarland will make her happy. Obviously staying there wouldn't help, but i really don't know here. It seems wrong to project what we want on the girl, its what her parents do.

If i had my way, I'd give Jana some car keys and a starter apartment thats close enough to the compound, but still lets her be independent. I'd say, "Jana, this is all yours, do whatever you want, so long as its legal. You can even give me this back and go to the compound, it will still all be here for you."

But, that won't ever happen, because I'm not a millionaire.

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Well I think it's in the best interests of JimChelle's children that the TLC money continue. Indulge the fuckwit parents to spare the children from deprivation. Punishing the parents punishes the children, who outnumber the parents by 10:1.

Edited by Kokapetl
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Well I think it's in the best interests of JimChelle's children that the TLC money continue. Indulge the fuckwit parents to spare the children from deprivation.

Respectfully, no. None of this is helping this family at all.Everyone has already mentioned how many adults there are just sitting around doing nothing. Until the easy money dries up, there will be absolutely no motivation for any of them to better themselves. Hunger and the need for a roof over your head is a great motivator. Let's see how much they really care about the younger ones. .let's see if any of them get off their godly lazy asses and go to work to provide. Edited by MarysWetBar
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Their TLC show was the best job they'd ever have, and they're clearly fighting to resurrect it.

I think it's unrealistic to expect these children will overcome their disadvantages, re: education etc. They'll be thrown on the pile of tens millions of unskilled underemployed lower class Americans, who America doesn't give a shit about. If TLC are willing to foot the bill for this family's food and shelter, I say let them, I think it's reckless and cruel to take the best thing that ever happened to Jana et al, just to put the screws to Jimchelle. Is anyone here willing to provide college scholarships, or even cover the costs of vocational training for any of the children?

Edited by Kokapetl
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. Is anyone here willing to provide college scholarships, or even cover the costs of vocational training for any of the children?

IIRC, didn't Oprah offer real medical training for the girls (nurses or midwives )????....... and they (JImBob) said no.

 

I don't give a rat's ass about them any more....unless one of them comes forth and REALLY wants to break away, they can just go stew in their own juices.

Edited by drafan
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Is anyone here willing to provide college scholarships, or even cover the costs of vocational training for any of the children?

Pell grants often pay most or all of trade school, and a lot of community college. Decent secondary education is cheap enough, of course one must want to find it. Edit: Pell grants pay nearly six thousand dollars a year. I know several people who went to trade school totally free, while working low income jobs while using them. I'm not trying to drag the conversation OT, but yeah, there's plenty of hope and options for the kids. They've just been conditioned to be uninterested in them.

Edited by JoanArc
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Okay, lets get off who is willing to pay for post GED or high school education or financial aid discussion. Keep it on topic. You have been warn more than once about keeping it on Jana, Josiah and Jinger. There is another Duggar thread to discuss their education or take it somewhere else. Posts will be moved, hidden or deleted by the mods. Thank you.

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Their TLC show was the best job they'd ever have, and they're clearly fighting to resurrect it.

I think it's unrealistic to expect these children will overcome their disadvantages, re: education etc. They'll be thrown on the pile of tens millions of unskilled underemployed lower class Americans, who America doesn't give a shit about. If TLC are willing to foot the bill for this family's food and shelter, I say let them, I think it's reckless and cruel to take the best thing that ever happened to Jana et al, just to put the screws to Jimchelle. Is anyone here willing to provide college scholarships, or even cover the costs of vocational training for any of the children?

I get what your saying, and it is totally unfair for Jana et. al., who was basically doing what she'd been raised to believe was the right road, then have it yanked away due to her idiot brother. None of those kids have received a decent education or preparation for college, vocational jobs, etc., BUT they're not the first people to have the rugs yanked out from under them and had to start over. 

 

It's not like they're war refugees or have been put on a slave ship. If the TLC money and other income ends, and the kids want to go to college/trade school, they can do like millions of other Americans and GET A JOB, save as much as they can, little by little, apply for scholarships, take out loans, and WORK THEIR WAY to a better life.

  • Love 13
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She could swing both ways, but that's not the issue.

I like Jana, don't get me wrong. She and Blessa are my favorites (i know, i know) but i don't think a guy could help her right now. She has no goals, no ambitions.. even the nicest guy in the planet would get sick of her, if the personality we see on TV is the same as her real one.

What would they talk about? Would she be okay watching a moive? She'd probably be filled with guilt over "abandoning" her childr- er, siblings.

I just want to see her happy. And i don't know if having a guy free her from duggarland will make her happy. Obviously staying there wouldn't help, but i really don't know here. It seems wrong to project what we want on the girl, its what her parents do.

If i had my way, I'd give Jana some car keys and a starter apartment thats close enough to the compound, but still lets her be independent. I'd say, "Jana, this is all yours, do whatever you want, so long as its legal. You can even give me this back and go to the compound, it will still all be here for you."

But, that won't ever happen, because I'm not a millionaire.

When you consider that probably all their detailed info about men comes from Gothard, and the behavior of Josh and Daddy Dryhump, I am surprised they can even look at men.

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