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The Lonely Js Club: James, Jackson & Johannah


Message added by Scarlett45,

Discussing the charges against Jana is fine, but do not post any information that reveals her address/contact information- even if said documents are public (i.e. a part of court proceedings.)

Discussing charges against Jana is NOT a jumping off point to speculate on other instances abuse/neglect etc towards the M-children or to elaborate on Josh's conviction and potential victims.  

 

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(edited)

 

I will say, having my own music box story, I think it rings true.

I think it's important that we not read everything about the girls' lives through this one event(s) that happened to them. Yes, it's enormous and profoundly shaped who they are, but treating them ONLY as victims of abuse turns them into one dimensional caricatures, and risks victimizing them again.

I don't think anyone's treating them as victims only or making everything in their lives about Josh's abuse of them; I haven't seen all that much speculation aside from a few obvious things. With Jana though, we have spent years discussing the 'jewellery box incident' and her reaction to it. A very public, teary, clearly emotional reaction from a girl who normally comes across as extremely reserved and self-contained, at least in public. And the discussions have usually ended in general bafflement. 'Why is she reacting so strongly, how can anyone get so upset over a childhood trinket, over something that happened so long ago? Wow, she really must've loved that box!' It was such a strange scene that made very little sense at the time, at least to me. She may very well be talking about the jewellery box and Jessa when the tears start but her words "There are people that may hurt us, there are people who may have done things to us, and it is our responsibility to forgive them." sound like she's thinking about something a little more serious than an annoying little sister and a lost box. YMMV of course.

 

 

I'm crossing my fingers that this scandal will turn into an opportunity for Jana, that she will get out and be able grab some autonomy for herself and that Boob will allow it, for the sake of damage control if nothing else. The pessimist in me fears it might go in the opposite direction, that the whole family will buckle down, circle the wagons and put Jana and the other kids right in the middle with no chance of escape.

Edited by Vaysh
  • Love 4
(edited)

I think the Kellers and Jacksons may have heard rumors about Josh having inappropriate contact with a girl, but most likely didn't know there were five victims and four out of the five were sisters ranging in ages from 5-12. They probably figured he was a horny teenaged boy, he did a stupid one-time thing and that was the end of it. They would have to be insane to want their daughters to be part of this family knowing there was abuse, incest and a massive cover-up.

Now if I were Marjorie's parents I wouldn't necessarily put the kibosh on the courtship but I would insist that Josiah get counseling before he marries their daughter. He's a legal adult and doesn't have to get Boob's permission to do so.

Edited by BitterApple
  • Love 5

I absolutely agree that Marjorie's parents should consider the long term ramifications of a marriage to Josiah. Child sexual abuse does not occur in a vacuum. Even if Josiah was not a victim, he lived in that home during and after the abuse. He is also quite close to Josh.

If I was Marjorie's mom, I would stipulate that Josiah needs professional counseling and needs to get out of that home ASAP. Marjorie is only 17(!), she is still a minor and her parents are in charge. Can you imagine 2 years from now if nothing changes? Marjorie is married to Josiah and has a baby with him. And uncle Josh is still around.

  • Love 9
(edited)

I'm suggesting maybe "WHO IS JANA DUGGAR???"

Seems like (ever since I've been poking around on these boards, anyway), Jana's been the mystery girl. Nobody really knows what she wants, or aspires to. Nobody "really" knows her personality. I think more than any other family member, our hearts ache for Jana - we want to help her be who she wants to be - but we have no idea who THAT is.

WHO IS JANA DUGGAR?

Edited by Happyfatchick
  • Love 2

 

The pessimist in me fears it might go in the opposite direction, that the whole family will buckle down, circle the wagons and put Jana and the other kids right in the middle with no chance of escape.

I'm usually an optimist, but control freaks like Jim Bob usually go straight for batten down the hatches to regain control.

  • Love 7

I absolutely agree that Marjorie's parents should consider the long term ramifications of a marriage to Josiah. Child sexual abuse does not occur in a vacuum. Even if Josiah was not a victim, he lived in that home during and after the abuse. He is also quite close to Josh.

If I was Marjorie's mom, I would stipulate that Josiah needs professional counseling and needs to get out of that home ASAP. Marjorie is only 17(!), she is still a minor and her parents are in charge. Can you imagine 2 years from now if nothing changes? Marjorie is married to Josiah and has a baby with him. And uncle Josh is still around.

 

I do wonder if this is why we heard the rumors of Josiah going to Marjorie's dad asking for educational/job advice.  Maybe he really DOES want to get out of that house/environment.  Maybe they DO know, (or knew some of it prior to this anyway) and wanted to help him.  Hell, maybe the courtship was/is a rouse to get him out (I have dreams about that, don't burst my bubble) with a good friend who was willing to play a part in order to help him. 

 

At any rate if the courtship does still continue, I hope that instead of Marjorie going to the Duggars, I hope Josiah goes THERE ala Bin.

  • Love 3

I'm usually an optimist, but control freaks like Jim Bob usually go straight for batten down the hatches to regain control.

Absolutely, Absolom! When I picture them in my mind right now, I have the whole tribe gathered in the living room strategizing. Well, except for Jana, who has all her "babies" in a different part of the house. That's my scene.

  • Love 2

My family was religous, but not fundie, there was no buddy system,  and I only had two sisters, but being older than both any wrongdoing; anything that they got into that could have hurt them, was firmly placed on me. I should have been keeping up with what they were doing or I should have been setting a better example.

 

The one older than me was a brother, and if he ever did anything they did not approve of, I had to be leading the way. 

 

I totally get how Jana may have been made to bear the brunt of this. She defrauded her brother and did not do enough to protect her younger sisters.

  • Love 3

Jana does seem to be carrying a heavier burden than her sisters, so it wouldn't surprise me if she, as the head Sister-Mom in charge, was made to feel it was her fault because it happened on her watch, so to speak.

Michelle has always struck me as the type to be catty and competitive towards other women, including her own daughters. I've always said Josh and Josie were her favorites and I think all this modesty and defrauding nonsense comes more from her than JimBob. She seems to have a grudge against Jana that was noticed by many long before this scandal hit the airwaves.

  • Love 9

Thanks to the mods for taking "old maid" out of her thread. I didn't love that. If we're going to suggest other names, I'm still voting for "who Is Jana Duggar?". Because that seems to be the theme throughout our posting history. Who IS she? What does she WANT? Is there any help for her? WHO IS JANA DUGGAR???

  • Love 2

I think it is true that the other girls, from what we as total outsiders, have been able to at least create a person that they themselves like despite what happened to them. And that's an enormous thing to have done. I imagine they did so with a lot of talking, crying, and yes, praying (as they are religious) and finding something in their lives that they could claim as their own and make their own. We've all discussed that for awhile now.

But we've also all discussed that Jana doesn't seem to have done that. That she doesn't really seem to be happy. Or to like herself. Or to have found something outside herself to call her own. And we've been puzzled by it.

The thing about the music box story - when everyone jumped on it the first time, it was used to describe how terrible a person Jessa was. Everyone talked about Jessa's facial expression. But now that we are reinterpreting it to be about sexual abuse, what do we do about our evaluations of Jessa's facial expression? Forget it? Admit we were wrong? Admit that these things are really complex? Talk about how the Duggars don't know how to match facial expression to emotion and this often smile inappropriately? Because this is where the snark is a problem. If the music box was about sexual abuse, the Jessa was just as much the victim as Jana (most likely.). But we didn't see it. We just thought she was a bitch because she wasn't being gentle and kind as well as pretty in that moment. But was it gentle and kind to tell the story in the first place? Or was it passive-aggressive?

And now we've gone around the circle again where everyone hurts everyone else.

(edited)

Or was it passive-aggressive?

As soon as I heard about it, I assumed that telling the story was a passive-aggressive move on Jana's part, but I thought her main target was Michelle. In fact, I still think that. I can't respond to the rest of your post because I'm not sure what, specifically, you're talking about (because I haven't been watching the show or on the boards as long as you have). I thought Jana recounted the music box story in the book. Was there an episode where she talked about it? Edited by JenCarroll

She talked about it on an episode and the consensus on the Internet (think it was at TWOP) was LOOK AT HOW PLEASED JESSA LOOKS!

At the time, I thought Jessa was giving the creepy smile they all do when one of the Duggar women feel badly but have been trained (literally, their wording) to smile through it. Meaning, "I feel terrible, but I'm not allowed to feel negative emotion. Must smile to show I don't really feel this way."

Now, that could still be the case of it were actually about sexual abuse. And it was commented by how no one responded to Jana's tears, although I thought they looked a bit shaken up. But whether that was because she'd hit a nerve, expressed real emotion, thrown her sister under the bus in public, I don't know.

My point is only that we tend to use every story like a nail and we're the hammer. This current story is OBVIOUSLY a nail. But we've pounded in a LOT of things we thought we nails that may or may not have been sure that THIS was the most horrible thing.

  • Love 1
Everyone talked about Jessa's facial expression. But now that we are reinterpreting it to be about sexual abuse, what do we do about our evaluations of Jessa's facial expression?

Re-evaluate that as well according to our new knowledge would be my guess. Isn't that what people do?

 

 

But was it gentle and kind to tell the story in the first place? Or was it passive-aggressive?

Hah! I certainly hope it was passive-aggressive. >:) Since they aren't allowed to show any real, proper aggression, I'll gladly take the passive kind over none.

 

 

JenCarrol: I don't know if the story is in any of their books as I haven't read them, but from what I understand it was recounted at a speaking appearance but not on the show. I could very well be wrong though. :)

  • Love 2

I just watched the Marsiah courting announcement video on YouTube and Marjorie seems like a bright and energetic young girl. They seemed much less awkward around each other than some of the other couples have seemed around each other at the start of their courtships, which might be speaking to the friendship they apparently had before they started courting.

If this courtship continues, I really do hope Josiah spends his time courting Marjorie over at her house around her family rather than Marjorie being over at the TTH. He probably needs to get away from the mess over there and he needs to see what a halfway normal family (they seem more modern, right?) is like.

Also, at the end of the video Josh was talking to Josiah about what it means to him to court, etc. and all I could think was ughhh no. How about not asking him for advice, please.

  • Love 1

Spin off idea:  Marjorie & Josiah go off to State University and live in the dorms and experience life for 4 years.  Then decide if they'd like to get married.  This doesn't need to be a weekly show.  Give us a 5 one hour specials: First: Going off to college, moving in & adjusting. Then an update at the end of year 1, 2 & 3.  Then a final report at graduation to let us know where they are headed to next, whether that be marriage together or separate lives!

Have you figured out how to get Josiah into a state university? I doubt he meets the basic qualifications.

He can always use his GED take some english and math tests to see where he scores/see if he needs remedial classes in order to get into a community college, then transfer/graduate with an A.A.S in something, then transfer to state colleges.

(edited)

I hope for Sia's sake that the courtship doesnt END but it would be a really great idea for them to NOT get married right away

Now since the show won't be so reliant on weddings or babies to get ratings ( if it comes back sans Josh, ppl will be watching to see if the older girls talk about it ect or how they process everything, new family dynamic)

 

Hopefully now that the shit has hit the fan Sia will realize that he doesn't have to stick to the rhetoric and him and Marjorie will go off to college THEN get married

Agreed he needs to get the hell out of dodge, ugh I can't even imagine what those poor kids went through growing up

 

Also- I don't think Sia's concern during the infamous arm twist was concern for the moms health- I have been following this show for years and the kids really don't seem to give two shits about Michelle. I think he was concerned for his siblings.

 

EDIT: I promise I do know spelling and grammar I just don't like to proofread. :-/

Edited by yogi2014L
  • Love 3

Have you figured out how to get Josiah into a state university?  I doubt he meets the basic qualifications.

 

Even if we believe that the Duggar children are under-educated that doesn't mean they are stupid.  I am assuming that Josiah can study for and take a college entrance exam and then enroll in a state university.  The score required for admission ranges from one state university to the next. The other basic requirement is a High School Dipolma or G.E.D. which I believe he has.  (Side note: Many state universities accept a parent issued diploma for homeschool students as long as their ACT/SAT score is in the range the school requires. I know many homeschool graduates that have been accepted at and attended very well respected schools without having taken the G.E.D. exam.)

  • Love 1
(edited)

Even if we believe that the Duggar children are under-educated that doesn't mean they are stupid.  I am assuming that Josiah can study for and take a college entrance exam and then enroll in a state university.  The score required for admission ranges from one state university to the next. The other basic requirement is a High School Dipolma or G.E.D. which I believe he has.  (Side note: Many state universities accept a parent issued diploma for homeschool students as long as their ACT/SAT score is in the range the school requires. I know many homeschool graduates that have been accepted at and attended very well respected schools without having taken the G.E.D. exam.)

 

Very true, at least in my experience. During the years I worked in university admissions, I probably processed 50 or 60K applications, give or take, and although I can't say I saw a lot of applications from homeschooled students, the ones I did see were from excellent students with excellent scores. In fact, until I began watching the Duggars, it really didn't cross my mind that there were actually lazy, poor homeschoolers out there. I know - duh!! But they certainly cleared up that point for me.

Edited by Wellfleet
  • Love 1
(edited)

Even if we believe that the Duggar children are under-educated that doesn't mean they are stupid.  I am assuming that Josiah can study for and take a college entrance exam and then enroll in a state university.  The score required for admission ranges from one state university to the next. The other basic requirement is a High School Dipolma or G.E.D. which I believe he has.  (Side note: Many state universities accept a parent issued diploma for homeschool students as long as their ACT/SAT score is in the range the school requires. I know many homeschool graduates that have been accepted at and attended very well respected schools without having taken the G.E.D. exam.)

It has nothing to do with being homeschooled, it has to do with the quality of education he has received.  I think any of the Duggars would have a VERY difficult time with college entrance exams.  The people who I know who are homeschooled have had much more rigorous study than anything the Duggars have shown.

 

Perhaps Arkansas has much lower requirements than the schools I am thinking of (University of Texas for instance is near impossible to get into if you are not top 10% of a high school class, or if homeschooled have excellent credentials).  But I would expect Josiah would need to go to a community college for quite a bit of remedial education before he can even consider thinking of a state university. 

He can always use his GED take some english and math tests to see where he scores/see if he needs remedial classes in order to get into a community college, then transfer/graduate with an A.A.S in something, then transfer to state colleges.

Which is basically what my point was. He's going to have to start at community college.  It will be a few years before that "spin off" idea can pan out.  (However, if TLC wants to keep the Duggar money train going- having some of them experience the real world, including at a community college, is probably the way to do it.  Unfortunately, I can't imagine the general audience really cares too much about Josiah. The girls are where the interest really seems to lie. I'd love to see them moved to LA or NYC and followed day to day though; even better would be if they were sent to school, but I doubt the ones with kids would go.)

Edited by Skittl1321
  • Love 4

I'll be the first to say that the Marjorie/Josiah courtship will soon be done.

 

I can't imagine her family wanting her to get into the Duggar family now. Since the Duggar name is now tainted I can't imagine her parents wanting her to be part of it. 

Wonder whether all of this will make any of the late-arriving  Gothardites among the Duggar connection (which I kind of think the Jacksons must be?) rethink the many promises and guarantees that have flowed out of ATI.

 

And if they were to reevaluate, I wonder how that would affect the kids' relationship (what with Josiah's long history in ALERT -- which could be the mark of a major Gothard Kool-Aid guzzler ... or not).

 

I wouldn't expect it to change the mind of longtime members, but it does look like some of the Duggar hangers-on may be new arrivals to the lifestyle and belief system, including Marjorie's family.

While I think the show should be cancelled, I will admit that I'm a tiny bit disappointed that I won't get to see this courtship. I feel like a Josiah courtship had potential to be interesting. My small disappointment is not so strong that I want the show to remain on the air or will watch it if it does- and I'll be letting TLC and their sponsors know that.

  • Love 10
(edited)

The girls are where the interest really seems to lie. I'd love to see them moved to LA or NYC and followed day to day though; even better would be if they were sent to school, but I doubt the ones with kids would go.)

See, i live in NYC and i don't think any of them would make it without ALOT of adjustment. They're way too sheltered, the jobs here aren't plentiful, the kids their age would talk circles and manipulate these poor kids if they just got plopped right into the city. it's not that easy to ship them off into a big place like this. if anything I'd like to see them maybe move to a city in their own state, so they can get used to the pace.

I don't understand why everyone thinks they should go to NYC or LA when they'd probably end up struggling to make a simple existance. The only way they'd stay safe is if TLC helped. Alot.

I think the coupled up ones would stand more of a chance, i can see Marjorie putting on her big girl pants eaiser than i can see Jana wipping out her adult maxi skirt and taking charge.

(I'd love to see Joy, Jinger and Marjorie hang out in a city though. have no clue if they're close.)

Edited because big city girl made some big city typos.

Edited by dillpickles
  • Love 3

See, i live in NYC and i don't think any of them would make it without ALOT of adjustment. They're way too sheltered, the jobs here aren't plentiful, the kids their age would talk circles and manipulate these poor kids if they just got plopped right into the city. it's not that easy to ship them off into a big place like this. if anything I'd like to see them maybe move to a city in their own state, so they can get used to the pace.

I don't understand why everyone thinks they should go to NYC or LA when they'd probably end up struggling to make a simple existance. The only way they'd stay safe is if TLC helped. Alot.

I think the coupled up ones would stand more of a chance, i can see Marjorie putting on her big girl pants eaiser than i can see Jana wipping out her adult maxi skirt and taking charge.

(I'd love to see Joy, Jinger and Marjorie hang out in a city though. have no clue if they're close.)

Edited because big city girl made some big city typos.

 

I think shipping them off to maybe Cleveland would be adequate. There's almost nothing going on but it would still be way more than they're used to and it would provide culture shock but cushioned by the presence of hordes of middle Americans who are almost exactly like their families except with Yankee accents.

 

They could call the show "Duggar Tots in Cleveland." And have Betty White introduce each episode as a grandmotherly figure in a revival of her Golden Girls character, Rose.

  • Love 3
(edited)

The Jacksons are long time family friends. I really hope Josh was never near the kids, dropped Josiah off for a date, etc.

They only go back four or so years, so Smuggar was safely removed from the house by that point, and in DC for the past two years. I doubt the Jacksons know him at all, aside from casual "hellos" at large gatherings. If even that. 

 

edited for the weird double-post

Edited by Sew Sumi
  • Love 1

See, i live in NYC and i don't think any of them would make it without ALOT of adjustment. They're way too sheltered, the jobs here aren't plentiful, the kids their age would talk circles and manipulate these poor kids if they just got plopped right into the city. it's not that easy to ship them off into a big place like this. if anything I'd like to see them maybe move to a city in their own state, so they can get used to the pace.

I don't understand why everyone thinks they should go to NYC or LA when they'd probably end up struggling to make a simple existance. The only way they'd stay safe is if TLC helped. Alot.

 

 

I think you are right that they may be manipulated and taken advantage of, but I totally disagree about not being able to find a job/ struggling to make  a simple existance. The scenario I described was "Duggars in the City"- being filmed IS their job.  Just like TLC provided them a house in Arkansas, they'd be given an apartment in Brooklyn. And then they'd get paid to film.  Job secured.  All they'd have to do is flit around the city doing whatever it is they want to do.

 

 

(edited)

So basically they would get paid to continue to do nothing of value, gain no marketable skills and contribute nothing to humanity overall?  *LOL*

 

I'm just weary of seeing people being given things.  Just given, never earned the way real humans have to earn things.  They both seem very nice, but what have they earned? 

 

There is no Divine Right of Duggar. 

 

Marjorie is still under age.  Her parents aren't going to allow her to do anything at this point.  And by the time she is of age, I think any interest in yet another Dugger marrying yet another fundie and breeding more children is going to be completely gone. 

Edited by leighdear
  • Love 14
(edited)

 

So basically they would get paid to continue to do nothing of value, gain no marketable skills and contribute nothing to humanity overall?  *LOL*

 

Isn't that what most reality shows are? 

 

What value do the Real Housewives (is that still on?) add to the world? 

 

 

I don't watch the Duggars, but I feel badly that the girls' livelyhood is being taken away by the actions of their brother. Especially when they likely had to suffer abuse from him as well.

Edited by Skittl1321

What value do a lot of things add to the world except people take pleasure in watching them? The same could be said for far more than the Duggars. Indeed, it sounds like something the Duggars might say, in explaining why they don't let their children watch TV, go to movies or read books, etc. I enjoy meaningless entertainment. I'm not ashamed to admit it. And SOMEONE has to provide that. Doesn't have to be the Duggars, but I'm not going to pretend that I spend all of my time reading German existential literature or Spanish novels in the original (which I do, just not all the time.)

  • Love 8

Poor Josiah. I hope this mess with Smuggar doesn't make Majorie think twice about courting him. Although I won't be surprised if it does.

I think both Marjorie and Si went into courtship with visions of freedom, People spreads, five figure wedding registries and a house courtesy of Pa Duggar. Now that the script is flipped, marriage may have lost some of its' appeal.

  • Love 10
(edited)

All of the Duggars have to figure out another way to make a living. Just because the kids have been on a reality show for years doesn't mean TLC owes them a continued livelihood. TLC, would, if fact, be doing them all a huge favor by cancelling the show and forcing them out into the world to earn a buck like everybody else. It certainly won't help that they have no education and no skills, but that's how they were raised and it's not the public's problem. It's about time they all learned to fend for themselves.

Edited by Hpmec
  • Love 13

No one is owed a television series. As someone who makes her own living in the arts and entertainment industry, I say that with real meaning. No one "owes" me a book contract or a speaking engagement, for instance.

But I do find it kind of rich that we can all sit here and say canceling the show is doing the younger Duggars "a favor". That sounds an awful lot like "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" talk that people like Jim Bob trot out for campaigning, and I'm not comfortable with it then, and I'm not completely comfortable with how easily we just insist they will be fine now, while we simultaneous say they have no skills and educations.

  • Love 14

Poor Josiah. I hope this mess with Smuggar doesn't  make Majorie think twice about courting him. Although I won't be surprised if it does.

I hope they don't break off the courtship because of Josh. If they break it off because of their own reasons that's a good thing, but if it's solely because of Josh, I hope Josiah makes that known.

  • Love 1

If there is a spinoff, I would like to focus on Jana.

 

Example A: Jana, Jinger and Joy move on from the compound, maybe expose some details of their previous life, but grow and experience new ways that people live. Imagine Jana or Jinger (more likely) interviewing people about their lifestyle and beliefs.

 

Example B: Jana gets full custody of the kids after Jimbob and Michelle are charged with child endangerment and neglect (fantasy) TLC uses their money to set the family up, kids go to school. Jana gets to stay with the kids. We watch as they learn to deal with a more mainstream existence.

 

But a spinoff of Benessa and Dullards.. omg. how can anyone who watched those boring lengthy wedding courting episodes, want to promote the Gothard lifestyle anymore? Those kool aid drinkers need to be ignored..

 

Save Jana and Jinger.. One of these days, one of these kids is going to hit the jackpot without smoke and mirrors. They will finally tell the truth and it will be a bonanza for TLC and that kid. I hope it is Jana.

  • Love 6

I hope that maybe one of Derick's friends will meet and take a liking to Jana. 

 

 

Is that adorable Bates boy with the failed courtship still available?  But I guess if he were going to fall for Jana, he'd have done it by now.

 

I read somewhere that Zack Bates wanted to court Jana, but she wasn't interested. 

 

She has such a sad sweet smile.  I wish she could meet somebody who was really nice and decent and just sweep her off her feet the way Michaella's feels about her intended.  Michaella is head over heels in love!

 

One thing I really have against Jim Bob is the way he's raising those girls to be dependent on a "husband" to take care of them.  What happens if some of the girls chose not to get married.  How will they make a living?  As far as I know the girls are being schooled in how to be a midwife - either have babies or deliver babies!  Good grief what a choice!

Message added by Scarlett45,

Discussing the charges against Jana is fine, but do not post any information that reveals her address/contact information- even if said documents are public (i.e. a part of court proceedings.)

Discussing charges against Jana is NOT a jumping off point to speculate on other instances abuse/neglect etc towards the M-children or to elaborate on Josh's conviction and potential victims.  

 

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