The Lonely Js Club: James, Jackson & Johannah

[ChicksDigScars]

Jana's ideal man?  Fundie lite, turns out he had mumps as a teenager.  Given the ignorance of these people, they wouldn't know the conception chances are slim.

 

Unfortunately, it won't dawn on ANYONE that fertility issues would be the fault of the male. Poor Jana will get saddled with being blamed for the infertility. Oh, and I have a friend that had to adopt with her husband because they couldn't conceive. It was blamed on his childhood mumps. So, there's a chance!

 

I hate the idea of wishing for a girl to "find a man" to somehow "complete" herself, almost as much as the title of this thread, but in Duggarville, it's Jana's only way out. She's raising her siblings and it will only get WORSE once Jill, and then probably Jessa, leave (not that Jessa does much. The "Pretty One" didn't mother her siblings the way Jana and Jill have). 

 

I've always wondered why Jana was sent to Journey of the Heart brainwashing camp. Was it an infatuation with an "unsuitable" boy?  She's so sweet and pretty. I assume she's the Maid of Honor, while Derick's brother is the Best Man. Maybe there's a guy in the wedding party that will catch her attention. But PLEASE, in all that is effing holy, DO NOT let her, or ANY of her sisters fall into the clutches of Steve Maxwell's sons. Shudder. Talk about having the spirit sucked out of you. Whatever Jana has left will be toast by the wedding night. Does Steve run that, too? Does he stand at the end of the bed, quoting Bible verse and telling his sons to get their asses a little higher so the swimmers hit their target? 

Edited June 2, 2014 by ChicksDigScars

[BollywoodLover]

As long as she keeps the internet and cable passwords to herself she should be fine.

 

In all seriousness, it is sad that the only worth that she has is being a sister-mother or a wife. I like to think she is waiting till Boob and Mullet are old, all the kids out of the house and then she is going to let loose. 

[NikSac]

And yet you'd be surprised how often it [HIPAA] is violated.

 

One other scenario I thought of in addition to the ones you mentioned is simply picking up the prescription even if it's at a grocery store or drugstore. I can think of a scenario where one of the Duggar girls might be able to go see a doctor, get a prescription, and still have their privacy violated when the pharmacist loudly asks "have you taken birth control pills before?"

[Chris Knight]

I also think SAHD= stay at home daughter, like that manic Sarah Malley chick.

[maraleia]

Remember everyone there are plenty of threads the cover specific topics so please take a look at them and post your awesome comments in those threads. Thanks!

FYI some of your posts will be moved to the appropriate threads.

[sweet201]

Free Jana!! She deserves to have an awesome life. She just seems so...resigned. J'chelle doesn't know how good she has it, but I think all the kids realize that without Jana, the family falls apart - Jana included.

Edited June 3, 2014 by sweet201

[Lillybee]

SAHD can also mean stay at home daughter, which sadly Jana is at this time.

[smittykins]

By extension SAHD = Stay-at-home dad, though I doubt that will be very relevant in this forum. ;-)

 

It can also mean Stay-At-Home Daughter, which is relevant to the forum.

 

ETA:  Oops, Lillybee beat me to it. :)

Edited June 3, 2014 by smittykins

[WhitneyWhit]

I felt so bad for her, having to accompany her younger sister on her engagement date. I'm actually surprised they didn't take her to the bridal shop and make her act as a human mannequin for Jill's wedding dresses.

 

This thread title made me laugh, while at the same time feel sad because in the fundie world, she is an old maid, she's a good four years into her spinsterhood where these people are concerned, I wonder if the married siblings have made arrangements as to who will take the Spinster Duggar in when Ma and Pa go to the great book signing in the sky?

[MrMattyMatt]

She once was the most beloved J'Slave because many of us long-time viewer felt she was the first that should be freed from the compound.  Her facial expressions and unique style of dress back in the day.   Now she seems to have faded into the background, picking up the slack from Jessa and Jill being married off.....  

[Lillybee]

I think that Jinger has been trained into keeping sweet. Remember that she was the daughter who wanted to live in a city and Mullet shut that down by saying Jinger wanted to live near a Walmart.

[Spencer Hastings]

I always wonder if sites like "Free Jinger" and the comments about her snarkiness from fans may have put a bigger target on her back.  Jim Bob and Michelle must know what people say about her and her free spirit.   I wonder if that influenced how much she tries to "keep sweet" now.

Edited June 8, 2014 by Spencer Hastings

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

We don't see too much of her these days. I'm wondering, like PP, if there wasn't a target put on her back from all of the Free Jinger stuff. I never got why people were Free Jinger when it should be Free Everyone over 18 who wants to leave that place.

[LazyToaster]

Maybe she is being less-than-cooperative about filming. I would love it if she is rebelling even that much.

[BitterApple]

I never understood the "Free Jinger" nonsense, because besides her eye-rolling what exactly makes her a spunky, independent free spirit? To me she's as much of a Kool-Aid drinker as the rest of them. Unlike Jill, she's done nothing to take classes or enter into any kind of career field, so maybe she's more content with her life than we assume.

[PinkSprinkles]

I think it's because of the absurdity of her name (Ginger with a 'J', really?) as well as the connotations that go along with the name itself. 

[McKay]

Jinger has always been the one who isn't shy about showing her annoyance/displeasure with the family.  Or she was when she was younger; in more recent seasons she's become more of the Gretcher Wieners to Jessa's Regina George.  But there's a reason my better half and I refer to the act of exasperatedly roling ones eyes as "Jinging" (soft g, like the name.)  

 

However, Joy seems to have picked up where Jinger left off. 

Edited June 17, 2014 by McKay

[lottiedottie]

I'm betting that if enough money gets waved in Jinger's face, she'll write the tell all and pose for Playboy. She looks like she is looking for an escape route. Someone has to break free, right?

[PinkSprinkles]

Well, that escalated quickly! 

 

Actually, I feel like if anyone disagreed with the family way they'd quietly depart without much fuss. None of the kids seem vindictive enough to go out guns blazing (I find this to be a good thing). I can imagine one of them writing a book in 10 or 15 years about their experience growing up with the show, but I don't see them selling out their family unless something triggers it (a divorce, death, estrangement, ect.). 

[MrMattyMatt]

They are all pretty heavily brain-washed.  It would take some pretty good convicing and eye-opening before one of them sells out.  Finger's crossed.

[PecanSandie]

Did anyone else notice that guy who was photographed with Josie on his lap looked liked he was sitting next to Jinger?

[RedheadZombie]

I have never understood the Free Jinger thing either.  Let me premise what I'm about to say by acknowledging that none of the older girls should bear the responsibility of raising their siblings.  Unfortunately, that's not how it goes in the Duggar household.  So I've always seen Jana and Jill working like dogs, and doing a wonderful job.  And then I've seen sloths Jessa and Jinger doing very little.  Jordyn's roaming around alone outside and barefoot, or clipped on to the table in a crappy highchair and abandoned - unable to get out.  We've even seen Jessa break a sweat running down poor Johanna and holding her down forcibly to take a nap because she's not six yet!  And then there's Jinger's buddy....... Yeah, who's Jinger's buddy?

 

So, I dislike Jessa and Jinger, because everything they slacked on, Jana and Jill had to do more of.  And I've never liked their talking heads.  Jessa's always in the pageant pose of all hair pulled forward onto one shoulder, chest stuck out, huge grin on face.  And then Jinger sits next to her, rolling her eyes, flashing a smart ass smile, and deferential to Jessa.  I think I may like Jinger once Jessa moves on.  Jinger will probably become her own person, instead of being Jessa's yes-man.

[Fuzzysox]

I didn't see the picture of Jinger sitting next to that boy that was in the picture with Josie but I wondered how many "love" matches are made at these weddings since it seems that they aren't allowed to socialize much and have normal friends. Just like the gypsy girls they meet their potential husbands at a wedding.

[PecanSandie]

If you look at the enlarged pic the girl sitting next to him looks like Jinger.

[CarolMK]

I have to wonder if Jana would be allowed to have her wedding off camera if she met a nice guy (through Jim Bob, of course). She seems awfully shy and to not like

to have the focus be on her all that much. I can't see her going along with a huge wedding of 2000 people, it doesn't seem to be her style.

[MrMattyMatt]

I hope Jana marries into money and has a private wedding.

[Fuzzysox]

Sadly if a boy wanted Jana he would be saddled with the whole gang. He would have to put up with ALL of them. YIKES no thanks is how I think most of the suitors think after spending a day at the TTH.

[RedheadZombie]

I have no idea if Jana secretly wishes she was married and having her own children at this point in her life.  I am sad that she is losing her closest friend and co-hardest worker in the family, Jill.  Jana already seems such a meek and lonely girl, as if she has a private life inside her own head.  That's only going to be magnified now.  I'm know I'm judgmental, but I feel Jessa and Jinger are lazy and mean spirited gigglers, who probably pick on Jana.  Jessa's head was huge before she got "her man", and it's ever growing.  I wonder if Jana feels like she doesn't have a friend in the world now.  Her work load will have doubled - Jessa is too busy courting, and Jinger chaperoning.  Jana is the MVP of the family.  I think Jim Bob may want his oldest girl to be happily married, but Michelle controls that household, and she's not letting the real mother leave.  Jana's a lifer - she'll be stuck with her parents as they age, and then she'll get the miracle Josie when they die.

[Vincom]

I really like Jana - she's such a natural beauty, and she gives indications, small ones, of how she's really feeling. Run Jana run!!

[PinkSprinkles]

I've always thought Jana was the prettiest of all the girls. I can't believe she hasn't gotten attention from some suitors because of that alone. 

[farmgal4]

I feel so bad for Jana. She seems deeply depressed and just...wounded IMO. I truly wonder if that pervert Gothard didn't abuse her in some way. Out of all of those kids, I wish the most that Jana could somehow escape and have a happy, normal life. If there's any justice in this world, maybe someday she will.

[BitterApple]

I've always thought Jana was the prettiest of the girls and people on the "other" forum who saw her in person said the same thing.

RedheadZombie, do you recall the story of when, as a child, Jessa stole Jana's jewelry box? Instead of punishing Jessa, Michelle told Jana she was being selfish and made her give the box to her sister. Great parenting there, Michelle.

[aunt jen]

Petition to rename this thread "Poor Jana" because in every other thread that's always how she is referenced.

I, too, wonder how Jill's leaving affects her. The kids all seem to buddy up (JD/Joseph, Jana/Jill, and especially Jinger/Jessa, though Josh seemed to be a bit of a loner) and I hope she gets to see a lot of Jill through their midwife/doula training.

[BitterApple]

I think Jana's doula training will go by the wayside now that Jill's married. Honestly I think Jana was only doing it to chaperone Jill and get the internet critics off Boob's back.

[Ljohnson1987]

Jana doesn't want to be a doula. She had to accompany Jill, because the 20 something girl can't do anything on her own. How sad. 

[RedheadZombie]

I've always thought Jana was the prettiest of the girls and people on the "other" forum who saw her in person said the same thing.

RedheadZombie, do you recall the story of when, as a child, Jessa stole Jana's jewelry box? Instead of punishing Jessa, Michelle told Jana she was being selfish and made her give the box to her sister. Great parenting there, Michelle.

 

That story is familiar.  The only part that surprises me is that Jana was allowed to have something of her own.  Jessa learned young how to manipulate.

[McKay]

I thought it wasn't that Jessa stole it, but that Jessa was picking on Jana relentlessly in general and Michelle told Jana to give her favorite thing to Jessa to make her stop.  Jessa claimed it made it "not fun any more" to pick on her, but she was grinning like the Cheshire cat the whole time the story was being told, while Jana looked close to tears.

[BitterApple]

McKay, thanks for the clarification, my history was hazy. So Jessa learned how to be a bitch early on and Jana learned how to be the meek whipping boy, not surprising.

[Almost 3000]

I always thought that was one of the strangest Duggar stories and somehow they told it wrong because it makes no sense. But, then again maybe not and Michelle is just that strange to come up with such a bizarre solution.

[JessDVD]

In my head canon, that story never happened because it is so weird and bad parenting that I just prefer to pretend it never happened.

[PinkSprinkles]

I'm all for not interfering (unless it gets ugly) in sibling fights to allow for development of conflict resolution, but the last advice I would give to my child is to give something away of value to make the person stop. That's like paying a bully not to beat you up. 

[Readalot]

I thought it wasn't that Jessa stole it, but that Jessa was picking on Jana relentlessly in general and Michelle told Jana to give her favorite thing to Jessa to make her stop. Jessa claimed it made it "not fun any more" to pick on her, but she was grinning like the Cheshire cat the whole time the story was being told, while Jana looked close to tears.

I shudder to think about what else goes on in the house that has not been made public.

[Literata]

 

Jessa claimed it made it "not fun any more" to pick on her, but she was grinning like the Cheshire cat the whole time the story was being told, while Jana looked close to tears.

I just don't like Jessa. I really don't.  She seems self-centered and just plain mean. I wonder if she's the family member poor Jana talked about having had trouble with.

 

Seriously, what is the deal with Jana? Do we really collectively think Boob and Michelle are keeping her there against her will? Do we think she fell in love with a non-approved guy?  Do we think she really hasn't found the right guy yet? 

[PinkSprinkles]

I *think* Jana said at one point she had a problem with Anna. I can't imagine what it must be like to be in her position and feel guilty about not liking someone or just being plain annoyed with someone and not having a healthy outlet for your frustration. Sometimes people don't click and that's okay. It just means you keep your distance and be cordial when you do have to exist in the same space. Jana just needs a friend to be her sounding board and won't tell on her a la her siblings. 

[cereality]

In addition to the courting rituals and how they've been raised, the problem is that they don't have and aren't encouraged to have friends. They are raised to have the mindset that family is all you need and that your 18 siblings should be your best friends. I don't buy the whole "oh we're SO close to the Bates" -- they live in Tennessee. How often can you see them 1-2x a year max as your herd of siblings arrives to hang out with their herd of siblings? That's not friendship as far as the kids are concerned; I view Gil and Kelly as JB and Michelle's friends and when they get together the kids have to "go play" -- the way we all did when we had to go to our parents' friends homes -- whether we liked the other kids or not, we had to make it work.

 

That isn't the same as if 24 yr old Jana had a few girlfriends and/or coworkers that she could call up and say -- hey I'm bored, how about coffee? Regardless of courting, responsibilities at home etc. -- she'd gain a lot from those kinds of normal social interactions because even if they were with other conservative women, they'd give her a view into lives and families that are a bit different; if nothing else, they'd provide distraction as you gossiped about how cute the waiter is and what new store opened at the mall -- bc frankly who wants to get together with you and hear about your trials and travails of potty training your siblings or escorting Jill to midwife jobs etc.

[Almost 3000]

I *think* Jana said at one point she had a problem with Anna. I can't imagine what it must be like to be in her position and feel guilty about not liking someone or just being plain annoyed with someone and not having a healthy outlet for your frustration. Sometimes people don't click and that's okay. It just means you keep your distance and be cordial when you do have to exist in the same space. Jana just needs a friend to be her sounding board and won't tell on her a la her siblings. 

You'd think Anna and Jana would be close because of their age but I'd bet Anna only has the time of day for Jana when she needs something. Anna seems very Michelle that way to me. I've never cared for Anna because she seems full of herself and very "I'm Sadie, Sadie married lady..."

[ramble]

"I'm Sadie, Sadie married lady..."

Where has that phrase been all my life? I'm going to start using it. I has a perfect opportunity today when my family was discussing who was or wasn't married from a school reunion event my sister went to. I wanted to play whack a mole sitting across the table listening to the thinly veiled disgust at the unmarrieds. Hello?! Divorced family member sitting right here. I would've loved to put on my best snooty voice & said, "Forgive me but we're not all Sadie, Sadie, married lady."

Man the Duggers would think I need an intervention, a special camp & a prayer closet built out of my personal kryptonite if I did something like that at one of their family gatherings. Wouldn't it be cool though if one of the girls could own the choice not to be married as opposed to it being a burden. Imagine Jana actually saying that to Anna & then laughing about it at the freedom of her choice. *dreams*

Edited June 29, 2014 by ramble

[Chris Knight]

Sadie, Sadie lol. I remember one ep where Anna talked about some alleged friends who were single, employed young women, and how that was ok, but "as for me, I am married....". As if being married is her career. Loser !

[maraleia]

Hey everyone can we please keep the discussions in their proper threads.

[PecanSandie]

I've always wondered if Jim Bob didn't try harder to marry Jill off first since Jana is so much prettier than Jill. Hopefully her waiting for the right man pays off.