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S05.E15: Beads, Beers and Tears


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Scheana hosts a pre-New Orleans pool party, but Tom and Katie's fighting intensifies. Also, Lisa allows James to DJ a party at PUMP; Bourbon Street debauchery abounds when a bachelor-bachelorette bash kicks off; and Stassi confronts Jax.

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4 minutes ago, ExplainItAgain said:

Jax talking about how Katie and Schwartz's relationship is like a stinky room and instead of trying to figure out where the stink is coming from they just febreze the shit out of it to cover it up was spot on.

I also liked his quip about the carpet looking like a huge lump (after Schwartz said he'd sweep stuff under the carpet).

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Kristen: Stassi, you deserve to meet someone who excites you. So I can totally bone them.

Stassi's whole bid to get attention was annoying, but when she did it in front of Brittany to Jax it was just gross. And Jax and his declined credit cards can go away and never be missed. I feel like after season 2 he & Kristen decided to observe and imitate human behavior but both are falling short. 

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For all the talk of Brittany being dumb, she is at least self aware enough to admit she was jealous of Jax apologizing to Stassi.  Had the roles been reversed, Stassi would have gone on her normal bitch crusade to vilify Brittany for that conversation taking place in her presence. She would have NEVER admitted to jealousy!  Same with most of the other girls!  I also liked how Brittany challenged Jax when he turned her concerns back around on her, and he just stammered like the goon he is.  She should take her new boobies and run.  Brittany deserves better!  

Stassi is such a buzz kill with her constant pity parties.  I'm not invested in her breakup when Patrick was never introduced onscreen.  She needs a better story line.  

We should take bets on how long Katie and Tom's doomed marriage actually lasts.  I give it a year at most.  Katie should take note: don't give your on-the-outs husband a leather bound, soft porn book of yourself for a gift!  It seems to be a Bravo kiss of death for marriages.  Didn't work for Yo Foster, didn't work for the Shays!  Everything Scheana and Shay was painful to watch.

Edited by AngryCarrot86
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I couldn't help but wonder if Scheanna and Shay's dinner conversation was just BS for the cameras, or if something really bad happened after the fact, like infidelity, ect? 

I was cringing with secondhand awkwardness for Brittany during that conversation between Jax and Stassi. 

Stassi nobody cares about your breakup with Patrick because we have no context. 

  • Love 14
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Wait...so it's Jax's fault that Stassi and Patrick broke up? And he had to apologize? To his ex? About her ex? In front of his girlfriend? I really wanted Jac to refuse and walk away or for Brittney to check Stassi on her self-centeredness.

Edited by Portae
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1 hour ago, ExplainItAgain said:

Jax talking about how Katie and Schwartz's relationship is like a stinky room and instead of trying to figure out where the stink is coming from they just febreze the shit out of it to cover it up was spot on.

 

1 hour ago, ivygirl said:

I also liked his quip about the carpet looking like a huge lump (after Schwartz said he'd sweep stuff under the carpet).

He's funny.  Part of what gets him over.  He's the Alpha in their group because they admire his fearlessness and his confidence, he is the Danny Zuko to their brand of clods.  And it's his appeal to Brittany, and Stassi (who was once frantic about losing him and wildly jealous); he is the leader.  That brings status to his woman within the group.  

Ariana won't join in the group pecking order, so she stands out.

 

IIRC, wasn't Katy's storyline that Schwartz had no job?  Didn't he fail as a bartender once?  Has that changed?  Does he have a job?  

16 minutes ago, Portae said:

Wait...so it's Jax's fault that Stassi ad Patrick broke up? And he had to apologize? To his ex? About her ex? In front of his girlfriend? I really wanted Jac to refuse and walk away or for Brittney to check Stassi on her self-centeredness.

Well, if it's the only way to get her to shut up and go away....

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Stassi doesn't wanna be cut from the cast again. Her desperation is causing her to all season point out perceived faults in others and imagined or ancient slights. The repetive anger or crying is concerning. Katie could also probably benefit from some self care and maybe professional help. 

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Fucking Stassi. On one of her many self-centered birthday trips, she would never tolerate anyone else being a crybaby the way she was on this trip. This trip is supposed to be for Katie and Schwartz yet fucking Stassi manages to pull focus to herself. Fuck off, Stassi. Getting Jax to apologize was your season 1-2 storyline. You don't get to exhume that shit out of the grave just because your actual current life doesn't get shown on the show.

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I couldn't help but wonder if Scheanna and Shay's dinner conversation was just BS for the cameras, or if something really bad happened after the fact, like infidelity, ect? 

I wondered this as well. I think Shay seems awkward in front of the camera most of the time anyway. I do not think Scheana is that good of an actress. I do think Scheana isn't the sort who hides her emotions all that well. It always seems to be written on her face.

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For all the talk of Brittany being dumb, she is at least self aware enough to admit she was jealous of Jax apologizing to Stassi.  Had the roles been reversed, Stassi would have gone on her normal bitch crusade to vilify Brittany for that conversation taking place in her presence. She would have NEVER admitted to jealousy!  Same with most of the other girls!  I also liked how Brittany challenged Jax when he turned her concerns back around on her, and he just stammered like the goon he is.  She should take her new boobies and run.  Brittany deserves better!  

I agree! Brittany owned up to feeling jealous. I liked how she did not get mad at Stassi either, because so many of these idiots in that situation would blame the crying, apology seeker.

I thought Stassi and Jax had a similar conversation last season when Stassi finally managed to get into everyone's good graces again. I might not remembering the whole thing correctly though. I do not care about Stassi being single and her crying over Patrick. Do we know how long they have been broken up at this point? It is hard to get invested in this lame storyline because we have never met Patrick. Oh Stassi, Jax has many issues, but I agreed with Jax when you tried to somewhat blame your break up on Jax, because Patrick did not want himself or Stassi to be around him. You guys both moved on at that point so none of it should be an issue.

Katie perhaps the reason why you might not get support from Schwartz is because it might be hard for him to back you up with your irrational hatred of what random person/place/thing on a constant basis. Currently you hate his best friend's girlfriend. It seems that Katie gets over some sort of issue or drama, but then brings it up as a reason to be mad at a later date. Also, Katie is bringing up the Ariana bridal shower drama again? Seriously? Katie might want put some of the blame on her pal Stassi for that incident as well. Why does everyone have to like or dislike the same people? I would say that they are all adults and able to be cordial in group situations, but most of these idiots do not act like adults. Katie really needs to stop with the ridiculous texts every time she gets mad at people. Ugh Katie go away.

Stassi, Ariana was invited so who cares if she goes from table to table when everyone ended up mingling with each other anyway. Hell, Kristen had her friend Rachel there and I did not think she was a bridesmaid. I have been to many bachelorette parties where it was not just the bridal party.

I agreed with Sandoval that Katie and Tom could use some therapy. They are so doomed. Though I could see Tom being so passive that he would not seek a divorce even if things were really shitty. 

Edited by Misslindsey
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Stassi, why are you bringing up this shit from years ago?  Who the fuck cares?  You get zero sympathy from me.  You never should have been in a relationship with Jax in the first place, let alone stuck with him for 3 years.  If he treated you like crap, Stassi, it's on you for sticking around & taking it.  Now STFU about this shit will ya?  

And what about the disgusted looks Brittany had on her mug while Stassi was throwing her whining/crying fit?  Makes me wonder why you're still sticking around this sweaty/bloated piece-of-shit lowlife asshole, Brittany.  Why, Brittany, why?  Is it only to be on national TV?  Or is it something else?  He's treating her like absolute shit & she clearly knows it.  But she's still taking it.  Why?  Why do these women stick around for shithead Jax's abuse?  Well, for Stass, it was for very different reasons than Brit.  Is Brit actually every bit the cheap opportunist Lala is?  I really can't tell.  But I just don't understand why she's still with Jax.

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31 minutes ago, Misslindsey said:

I agreed with Sandoval that Katie and Tom could use some therapy. They are so doomed. Though I could see Tom being so passive that he would not seek a divorce even if things were really shitty. 

They've been going to therapy for years.  I think they even had a fight earlier this season because Tom went to see their therapist without Katie and then Katie rage ate some lettuce over the sink.

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Has Katie ever considered not talking about Ariana and just enjoying her fiancé?  Maybe the reason the other guys like her is she is not off the charts maintenance wise.  Ariana also looks great in a bathing suit.  

Ariana cannot go back and forth between the groomsmen table and bridesmaids but Stassi can crash couples and suck the air out of the room?  I am surprised she didn't hunt Scheana and Shay down and crash their anniversary dinner.

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Why is StASSi telling us about Patrick, who I understand is as big a douchebag as Jax? I am incredulous at her claim that we never saw Patrick b/c he was afraid of meeting her ex and having to shake his hand. I think the reality is that he didn't want to appear on this show with these losers.

Edited by Ubiquitous
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Katie is so painfully insecurely it is scary. Her frank jealousy of Ariana is blatant. Also, she has failed to realize that if Tom were just even one iota less hot, she would then be able to clearly see him as the clear passive-aggressive bum that he is. Tom is not only not marriage material, he is not relationship material. He's completely lame but all of that is hidden by how good he looks. He has gotten through life without ever needing to try and has absolutely not activation energy for anything (dude can't even work to tighten up his dad bod because he knows he can get away with just his face). This episode just made me feel complete pity for Katie for not realizing who her man really is.

Edited by ticklemepink
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So Tom and Ariana can't use the microwave when the AC is going. VPR pays, baby!!!

I don't think I can take another minute of Kathie and Schwartz fighting. He acts like it's all her fault, but she won't even address her own issues. She tried to say that they SOLELY fight about other people? Um no. You fight about everything under the sun. Schwartz is an ass for being mean, but he's an ass for trying to make up. I literally have no idea why these two like each other. 

Jax's Febreezing the stinky room analogy was dead-on-balls accurate. 

And then Sandoval tries to check on how she's doing and it turns into more drama. KATIE brought up Lala and when Tom tried to explain, she shut him right down. It's always her way, or no way. You have to operate on her turns. The worst thing that ever happened in this group was Stassi and Kristen getting iced out, because now Katie has a head the size of Africa. 

But Stassi is still pretty full of herself as well. Who is she to tell couples they can't act "coupley" in front of her? I'm sorry you're going through a rough breakup, but how is that anyone else's fault? They can't enjoy themselves around you? Maybe you shouldn't have organized this trip with all couples if you couldn't handle it. 

And demanding an apology from Jax in front of his girlfriend was so beyond. I really felt for Brittany. But then I don't. Because she should have left a year ago. 

I still love Shay and I get sad during all of his scenes with Scheana. Are they pretending? Or did things not get bad until later? Am I the only one who finds boudoir shoots a bit narcissistic? It's like, "Here, I know what you'd really like for our anniversary, hun, hot pictures of me. Because I'm so hot." Anyone? No, okay....

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I know I'm in the minority but...I think Ariana has a great body and is very pretty. #1 reason that Katie hates her. I don't even mind Ariana's attitude towards the coven. I agree with what she said a while ago. If you are nice to her, she is nice to you. If you're not nice to her, then go fuck yourself, she has no time for you.

Stassi, stop crying about being the only single one in the group. You suck. That's why you're single. I did have to laugh, though, when she said she would not go topless in front of everybody because of her breast reduction scars. She can be self deprecating at times! 

2 hours ago, nexxie said:

Are Katie and Tom Febreze still married? 

Yes. Tom was on WWHL last night and said that Katie has changed a lot. She's "self aware", working on herself now and they are happy. Do we believe it? I don't know what else we would expect him to say in front of the camera. He looked scared to death to say anything different. Lol.   

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12 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

So Tom and Ariana can't use the microwave when the AC is going. VPR pays, baby!!!

I don't think I can take another minute of Kathie and Schwartz fighting. He acts like it's all her fault, but she won't even address her own issues. She tried to say that they SOLELY fight about other people? Um no. You fight about everything under the sun. Schwartz is an ass for being mean, but he's an ass for trying to make up. I literally have no idea why these two like each other. 

Jax's Febreezing the stinky room analogy was dead-on-balls accurate. 

And then Sandoval tries to check on how she's doing and it turns into more drama. KATIE brought up Lala and when Tom tried to explain, she shut him right down. It's always her way, or no way. You have to operate on her turns. The worst thing that ever happened in this group was Stassi and Kristen getting iced out, because now Katie has a head the size of Africa. 

But Stassi is still pretty full of herself as well. Who is she to tell couples they can't act "coupley" in front of her? I'm sorry you're going through a rough breakup, but how is that anyone else's fault? They can't enjoy themselves around you? Maybe you shouldn't have organized this trip with all couples if you couldn't handle it. 

And demanding an apology from Jax in front of his girlfriend was so beyond. I really felt for Brittany. But then I don't. Because she should have left a year ago. 

I still love Shay and I get sad during all of his scenes with Scheana. Are they pretending? Or did things not get bad until later? Am I the only one who finds boudoir shoots a bit narcissistic? It's like, "Here, I know what you'd really like for our anniversary, hun, hot pictures of me. Because I'm so hot." Anyone? No, okay....

I thought Stassi getting upset that Ariana wanting to do a séance, (just to be edgy) was pretty telling.  Imagine wanting to do something other than black out drinking and fighting.  Katie getting bonked in the head with beads, perfect.  Hope it hurt.  I a sure that will somehow be Ariana's fault, for not taking one for the bride.

Last night the Toms mentioned that Jax had an entire season of apologizing to Stassi and then added that it made sense Stassi is just into apologies.  I did like the idea that Jax had prefaced pre-apology he was really drunk. 

The Toms were fin last night on WWHL, I just hope Katie can see that she would be much further ahead doing stuff as couples with the Tom and Ariana, then dragging fame ho Stassi everywhere or Kristen.   

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10 hours ago, ivygirl said:

 

Raise your hand if you thought Jax's "apology" was SUPER genuine! Or Not!

 

It made me laugh. He was all, "I was a liar, a cheater, a stealer". Was? WAS????

 

7 hours ago, yourmomiseasy said:

They've been going to therapy for years.  I think they even had a fight earlier this season because Tom went to see their therapist without Katie and then Katie rage ate some lettuce over the sink.

Aaaaaand this is why I love this show. I just legit choked on my water reading this post. You can't make this shit up, people. 

 

10 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

 

I know I'm in the minority but...I think Ariana has a great body and is very pretty. #1 reason that Katie hates her. I don't even mind Ariana's attitude towards the coven. I agree with what she said a while ago. If you are nice to her, she is nice to you. If you're not nice to her, then go fuck yourself, she has no time for you.

 

Ariana's personality grates at times, but I do think she is very pretty. She has an amazing body! I'd never wearing a bathing suit next to her. (But then again, I haven't owned one since I was 14.) I don't care that she doesn't clique with the Coven. I just think she tries way too hard to prove how "different" she is. 

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I could watch Katie getting hit with the beads over and over again! It made me laugh so hard!

I thought Schwartz looked like he had a gun to his head on WWHL. He kept giving the same stock answer. It was like he was kidnapped an reciting the ransom demands. I doubt Katie has changed that much unless something major happened to wake her up. They keep acting like Katie is just a bitch when she is drunk (I guess the mean texts come when she is drunk), but she seems pretty miserable when sober as well. I think Ariana hit the nail on the head when she said Katie just seems so unhappy all the time.

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39 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

It made me laugh. He was all, "I was a liar, a cheater, a stealer". Was? WAS????

 

Aaaaaand this is why I love this show. I just legit choked on my water reading this post. You can't make this shit up, people. 

 

Ariana's personality grates at times, but I do think she is very pretty. She has an amazing body! I'd never wearing a bathing suit next to her. (But then again, I haven't owned one since I was 14.) I don't care that she doesn't clique with the Coven. I just think she tries way too hard to prove how "different" she is

I think she is trying to prove how Indifferent she is.

I also think she is doing a pretty good job of it too.

She riles people cause she doesn't care what they think of her,

don't get me wrong; I'm not saying she doesn't give a chit, just doesn't let other peoples opinions sway her from her own sense of right.

I do think she is dismissive of Stassi and her ilk but then I don't blame her for that either.

  • Love 8
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21 minutes ago, hecate2909 said:

I think she is trying to prove how Indifferent she is. I also think she is doing a pretty good job of it too.

She riles people cause she doesn't care what they think of her,don't get me wrong; I'm not saying she doesn't give a chit, just doesn't let other peoples opinions sway her from her own sense of right. I do think she is dismissive of Stassi and her ilk but then I don't blame her for that either.

Oh I think Ariana cares a LOT what people think. She is desperate to be seen as the Cool Girl. 

Katie seems like a seriously miserable person, but Schwartz is so good at gaslighting her. They kind of deserve each other. 

Jax is an ass, and a terrible boyfriend and not a good human, but he makes me laugh. I don't think this show would be as fun without him.

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I was shaking my head over the texts Tequila Katie sent to Ariana after the argument with Tom.  Really, Bridezilla?  The girl wasn't even THERE and you're drunk-texting her your outrage.  You need to get some serious help.  

And Kristen - NO ONE has to answer to you.  EVER.  And it appears that FI Tom lets you know that in no uncertain terms next week.

  • Love 8
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32 minutes ago, hecate2909 said:

I think she is trying to prove how Indifferent she is.

I also think she is doing a pretty good job of it too.

She riles people cause she doesn't care what they think of her,

don't get me wrong; I'm not saying she doesn't give a chit, just doesn't let other peoples opinions sway her from her own sense of right.

I do think she is dismissive of Stassi and her ilk but then I don't blame her for that either.

Isn't virtually every conversation the coven engages in about how they hate someone, trying to humiliate someone, spy on someone. squeeze information out of someone (they don't even like to use against someone), work someone up to demand an apology from someone else, exile someone or get even for some slight?  When they break off from the herd and are with their boyfriends they expect their boyfriends to engage in the same behavior.  How long would most people care to engage in those types conversations and activities?  A voice of reason isn't the worst thing it just comes off to the loons in the coven as deprecating because their collective idles are set on discontent and malice.  The bi-furcated trip was probably more demonstrative of how these people are when mixing in society.  Tom and Ariana were about a group activity that didn't involve just fighting and Stassi et al, were trying to be accepted and met with indifference by the others they were trying to impress.

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28 minutes ago, racked said:

Oh I think Ariana cares a LOT what people think. She is desperate to be seen as the Cool Girl. 

I agree. She loves being that aloof, down to earth girl that all the guys like to hang with. I don't think she should try to be BFFs with the Coven. They suck, and I don't blame her for not wanting to play their games. But given that her boyfriend has been friends with these people for years, she should be a bit more cordial. 

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Just now, ghoulina said:

I agree. She loves being that aloof, down to earth girl that all the guys like to hang with. I don't think she should try to be BFFs with the Coven. They suck, and I don't blame her for not wanting to play their games. But given that her boyfriend has been friends with these people for years, she should be a bit more cordial. 

No.  Don't give them an opening.

  • Love 6
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10 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

I agree. She loves being that aloof, down to earth girl that all the guys like to hang with. I don't think she should try to be BFFs with the Coven. They suck, and I don't blame her for not wanting to play their games. But given that her boyfriend has been friends with these people for years, she should be a bit more cordial. 

Oh, you mean Amazing Amy Ariana. Sandoval better watch out before she Gone Girls him in 10 years.

I get the sense that Shay tried to tell Scheana what he needed, but she kept interrupting him.

Edited by HunterHunted
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44 minutes ago, Ubiquitous said:
I doubt Katie has changed that much unless something major happened to wake her up.

Or she and Shwartz are "acting" for the cameras. Does anyone remember them acting like this in the past, or at least to this extent?

I would say Schwartz dumping a beer on her during their vaca in season 2 would qualify as acting out to this extent. And then, of course, the whole Schwartz cheating scandal in season... 3 I want to say.  Or maybe 4.

I think they've always had some major issues; the editors are just giving them more camera time now that the focus is on them and their wedding this season.  

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3 hours ago, ghoulina said:

 

I still love Shay and I get sad during all of his scenes with Scheana. Are they pretending? Or did things not get bad until later? Am I the only one who finds boudoir shoots a bit narcissistic? It's like, "Here, I know what you'd really like for our anniversary, hun, hot pictures of me. Because I'm so hot." Anyone? No, okay....

It reminded me of when Yolanda gave David the sexy calendar on RHOBH.  Apparently, gifted boudoir photographs are the kiss of death...

I love Stassi but way to make TomKat's bachelor/ette party all about you...and the whole time she & Jax were talking, from the look on Britt's face, I thought/hoped she was gonna haul off & punch Jax in the face!!

do we think the Jax's card getting declined was staged?  wouldn't Bravo have comped that trip?

  • Love 4
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2 hours ago, Misslindsey said:

I could watch Katie getting hit with the beads over and over again! It made me laugh so hard!

I watched that at least five times.  Laughed uncontrollably every time.

Jax and the Febreeze comment was too perfect.  He can nail most of these people in a sentence or two…probably because he's nailed many of them before. *rimshot*

Stassi is such a Debbie Downer.  WhoTF orders food for others AND themselves and THEN sends it to the room of the engaged couple?  Someone who is desperate for airtime and company.

Scheana is more than a little narcissistic, so I can see why she thought a boudoir book was a good anniversary present.  But Shay knew her ways long before they married, so I don't think he minds.  Yes, we know what happens with them, but I honestly think it didn't bother Shay all that much and they had bigger issues.

Ariana looked gorgeous in that bikini; her looks, combined with her "guy's girl" schtick and pretend indifference, drive Katie and Stassi insane.  And Ariana loves it.

Kristen, we always need crazy Kristen.  Welcome back (next week at least).

Brittany looked like she wanted to roll her eyes during the Stassi cryfest/Jax half-assed apology. 

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10 hours ago, zoeysmom said:

Has Katie ever considered not talking about Ariana and just enjoying her fiancé?  Maybe the reason the other guys like her is she is not off the charts maintenance wise. 

Princess Aboveitall upgrades to Queen of the Chucklefucks. 

Personally I think Queen and King Chucklefucks are working hard at a better edit this year.

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Never thought I'd say anything in support of Ariana, but I'll say this: her mom looked and acted like... a mom. No frosted lipstick, no preening for the cameras, no insisting on going to the parties. She basically sat there and talked to Ariana and Sandoval like a normal mom might. 

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46 minutes ago, teapot said:

It reminded me of when Yolanda gave David the sexy calendar on RHOBH.  Apparently, gifted boudoir photographs are the kiss of death...

do we think the Jax's card getting declined was staged?  wouldn't Bravo have comped that trip?

Well, Kim Z did that body paint photoshoot for Kroy and they're still together. I suspect that their eleventy-billion children are a large reason why.

Staged. The one thing Bravo admits that they pay for is the trips.

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37 minutes ago, dosodog said:

Princess Aboveitall upgrades to Queen of the Chucklefucks. 

Personally I think Queen and King Chucklefucks are working hard at a better edit this year.

"Queen" in that she actually is more tolerable and less trashy than the rest of them?  If so, then I concur.

Of course, in this group of narcissistic dum dums, that's not really all that impressive of a feat. 

Edited by Duke2801
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I think if Ariana truly wanted to stay out of it she would've said no to Schwartz and being a groomsmen.

She may not be as outwardly evil but I think her heart beats the same black blood as all the others............

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