I think that Teresa is conflating two related but different issues. I think that she wants Joe to share some of the responsibility for caring for their father, which he absolutely should. But she's also saying that Joe should want to spend time with their dad, which he isn't required to do. If Teresa could separate those things, then she could solve the first issue by coming up with a visitation/call schedule. But she is never going to be able to fix the latter, because it has nothing to do with her. Teresa is also shouldering the emotional responsibility for her dad's feelings, which is why she's acting as her dad's soldier in this fight. If Nonno's feelings are hurt by Joe not visiting, then that's between Nonno and Joe, not Teresa (even though I recognize that men often have issues acknowledging and expressing feelings). Because she's doing that, she's resorting to counterproductive methods, such as bringing up a sensitive issue at the dinner table in front of everyone, which is something designed to back Joe into a corner and essentially force him to comply, rather than find a resolution that he feels comfortable with.