Joy and Austin: This One Time At Family Camp

[awaken]

I can’t understand why she’d post herself being demeaned and made to look stupid. You’d think she’d keep that video to herself and post something that furthers the narrative of their godly marriage. 

[Salacious Kitty]

She must have been really desperate for footage. As I said before, she has no business putting out a weekly vlog. 

[GeeGolly]

Maybe Austin is a dick with money too, so Joy does the videos to have her own.

Or... I didn't see the video, but maybe Joy doesn't realize Austin is treating her poorly.

[BetyBee]

5 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Or... I didn't see the video, but maybe Joy doesn't realize Austin is treating her poorly.

I didn't see it either, but I think this is quite likely.

[graybrown bird]

Also, if a baby is hungry you feed it!   Put down the camera!  I hope they are not trying to "discipline" the infant.

[Minivanessa]

2 hours ago, graybrown bird said:

 I hope they are not trying to "discipline" the infant.

I would like to think so, but I really don't have hopes in that direction. Austin - who I've always thought was likely to be a controlling arse in his home - has been known to speak up in favor of the Pearls. IIRC his parents followed the Pearls' philosophy of "training up a child" and may also know them.

I assume that all the grandchildren of JB and Meech are being "trained up" using those methods (blanket training, beating even tiny children) except the Vuolos' and the Dillards' kids. Nobody else has left the IBLP fold, and those methods seem to be part and parcel of bringing up broken spirits under their umbrella of authority. I think they've all gotten more canny (or to use Jessa's admiring term, "sly") about keeping that stuff on the downlow and out of public circulation. 

[BetyBee]

19 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I would like to think so, but I really don't have hopes in that direction. Austin - who I've always thought was likely to be a controlling arse in his home - has been known to speak up in favor of the Pearls. IIRC his parents followed the Pearls' philosophy of "training up a child" and may also know them.

I assume that all the grandchildren of JB and Meech are being "trained up" using those methods (blanket training, beating even tiny children) except the Vuolos' and the Dillards' kids. Nobody else has left the IBLP fold, and those methods seem to be part and parcel of bringing up broken spirits under their umbrella of authority. I think they've all gotten more canny (or to use Jessa's admiring term, "sly") about keeping that stuff on the downlow and out of public circulation. 

Yes, they all talk about children being blessings, when they really mean blessings in the sense of increasing "God's army" and they surely have no compunctions about beating infants and children. They likely practiced Pearl methods on their own siblings.

ETA: Since this generation relies on influencing to support themselves, they are unlikely to film anything as unpopular as infant beating. That wouldn't attract sponsors. 

Edited August 18, 2023 by BetyBee

[GeeGolly]

I can't find it, but I believe Austin said he was pro blanket training. And lets hope Jill and Derick have moved beyond swaddle punishing, blanket training and instant obedience.

[Jynnan tonnix]

17 hours ago, awaken said:

I can’t understand why she’d post herself being demeaned and made to look stupid. You’d think she’d keep that video to herself and post something that furthers the narrative of their godly marriage. 

Unfortunately, I think these moments are seen as reaffirming their views that women are nothing without their headships. Of course, it's just natural that a woman would not be able to understand and remember the details of a sermon without a man to help her. They probably just love keeping track of all the cute instances where the woman has to admit that she just isn't as smart as her headship, and the women have to learn that it's just their place to demonstrate how much of a mess things would be if they tried to rely on their own brains and understanding. It's a circular practice of repetition until they are 100% convinced that that is the way of the world.

[Salacious Kitty]

That Joy continues to film these moments makes me think that these are probably nearly daily occurrences for them. It's sad that she doesn't see anything wrong with the dynamics. 

Edited August 18, 2023 by Salacious Kitty

[AstridM]

18 hours ago, awaken said:

I can’t understand why she’d post herself being demeaned and made to look stupid. You’d think she’d keep that video to herself and post something that furthers the narrative of their godly marriage. 

Does she even understand that he was demeaning her? This is Joy, after all. 

15 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Maybe Austin is a dick with money too, so Joy does the videos to have her own.

Or... I didn't see the video, but maybe Joy doesn't realize Austin is treating her poorly.

I doubt Austin lets her keep “her” earnings separate. He’s her headship, after all 🤮.

[satrunrose]

I keep hoping that the fact that we see Jesse and Joy's kids running wild means that they haven't been to terribly abused/blanket trained, but I realize that's probably wishful thinking (see Howlers). 

[awaken]

12 hours ago, Jeeves said:

I would like to think so, but I really don't have hopes in that direction. Austin - who I've always thought was likely to be a controlling arse in his home - has been known to speak up in favor of the Pearls. IIRC his parents followed the Pearls' philosophy of "training up a child" and may also know them.

I assume that all the grandchildren of JB and Meech are being "trained up" using those methods (blanket training, beating even tiny children) except the Vuolos' and the Dillards' kids. Nobody else has left the IBLP fold, and those methods seem to be part and parcel of bringing up broken spirits under their umbrella of authority. I think they've all gotten more canny (or to use Jessa's admiring term, "sly") about keeping that stuff on the downlow and out of public circulation. 

Well, she did block me for simply asking if they follow the pearls’ methods. 

[Gemma Violet]

Joy did another video:  golfing (must be copying Jinger), church, a trip to Silver Dollar City in the RV, everyone getting sunburned, and Gunner getting weighed.  He's a cutie-patootie chunk, weighing nearly 17 lbs.  Joy said he weighed 13 lbs a month ago.

[Salacious Kitty]

15 minutes ago, awaken said:

Well, she did block me for simply asking if they follow the pearls’ methods. 

Who blocked you? Joy?

[Meow Mix]

To be fair to Joy, I've had the misfortune to sit through a few fundie sermons.  Honestly, I couldn't tell you what the sermons were about because they were nothing but word salad.  JereME's sermons come to mind.

[Salacious Kitty]

3 minutes ago, Meow Mix said:

To be fair to Joy, I've had the misfortune to sit through a few fundie sermons.  Honestly, I couldn't tell you what the sermons were about because they were nothing but word salad.  JereME's sermons come to mind.

She kind of opened herself up for Austin's criticism when she said it was such a great message. He asked her what the message was, and it went downhill from there. 

[Madtown]

Austin has given me the creeps since day 1. I always cringe when Joy films him because I honestly think he hates when she puts him in her videos. I always think that she got ripped a new one from him after she turns off the phone.

On that note, I don't feel sorry for her, Anna or any of these women. They stick with these controling men and continue to have babies with them because they don't know anything else. I know that not all these marriages are "bad" so to speak, but sadly, none of the women will ever get out.

[Salacious Kitty]

Austin is completely devoid of humor, even dry humor. I don't see how Joy has missed this, especially being in the household of prankster and goofy dad JB Duggar. JB's pranks weren't funny to me, but other people seemed to think they were, probably including most of his kids. 

Austin seems to be the polar opposite.

Edited August 19, 2023 by Salacious Kitty

[AstridM]

5 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

Austin is completely devoid of humor, even dry humor. I don't see how Joy has missed this, especially being in the household of prankster and goofy dad JB Duggar. JB's pranks weren't funny to me, but other people seemed to think they were, probably including most of his kids. 

Austin seems to be the polar opposite.

It takes some higher intelligence to recognize dry humor, in my experience. And this is Joy. 

[Salacious Kitty]

Well, if Austin posseses dry humor, he's awfully good at hiding it. You rarely see Joy laughing. Everything seems to be such a struggle for her. 

Edited August 19, 2023 by Salacious Kitty

[BetyBee]

I wonder if Austin blames Joy for Giddy's allergies, need for glasses and learning disabilities? He seems like the type to lay a guilt trip on her while also treating her like the village idiot 😢

[SunnyBeBe]

I can’t forget the early show about him taking her on a rugged outdoor adventure when she was pregnant….and expecting way too much.  And, living in stark surroundings in a trailer. Nothing wrong with a trailer, but the conditions seemed challenging.   She seemed thrilled to grin and bear it.  Still that way?…

[Salacious Kitty]

Remember when she cut her hair? It was still long, just not waist length. She loved it. 

Austin came home from a trip and basically shot her down. She was crushed. When asked if he liked her hair, he replied, "I don't hate it." 

What an asshole. Pay your wife the compliment that she's looking for.

[sagittarius sue]

1 hour ago, BetyBee said:

I wonder if Austin blames Joy for Giddy's allergies, need for glasses and learning disabilities? He seems like the type to lay a guilt trip on her while also treating her like the village idiot 😢

I was wondering over on Jill's topic about who was the midwife with Gideon's birth.  I wondered if that difficult birth might possibly be the cause of his difficulties.

[Salacious Kitty]

4 minutes ago, sagittarius sue said:

I was wondering over on Jill's topic about who was the midwife with Gideon's birth.  I wondered if that difficult birth might possibly be the cause of his difficulties.

I dunno. Jill was in labor for supposedly 50 hours with Israel before heading to the hospital due to apparently being both breech AND transverse. He seems to have turned out okay. 

[xwordfanatik]

Austin is surly and a lot like what we've seen of his dad.  I think Joy goes along to get along with him.  Poor little kids are going to be criticized for every nitpicking thing (according to Austin.)  These fundie men think they are all that and a bag of chips.  I'd go bonkers.

[sixlets]

It's probably safe to say Joy's maybe not the brightest bulb in the box and is naive to what Austin is doing.  But, he knows exactly what he's doing and seemingly has no issue with it, which is disgusting.  He's preying on her naivete and upbringing, and it's not a good look.  Oh, and someone needs to shave that scuzzy beard off his smug mug and take some of his ego with it.  

[awaken]

On 8/19/2023 at 12:36 AM, Salacious Kitty said:

Who blocked you? Joy?

Yes

[Salacious Kitty]

Damn, I didn't realize she blocked people. I guess that's a YES to your question about the Pearls. 

[Meow Mix]

I still remember the episode where he proposed.  He wanted to surprise her with a dinner outside in the woods, but blindfolded her to get her there.  After blindfolding her he asked if she trusted him.  It was seriously creepy.  I always wondered if he understood how weird that came across since some conservative homeschooled people can really miss social cues.

[Natalie68]

16 hours ago, sixlets said:

It's probably safe to say Joy's maybe not the brightest bulb in the box and is naive to what Austin is doing.  But, he knows exactly what he's doing and seemingly has no issue with it, which is disgusting.  He's preying on her naivete and upbringing, and it's not a good look.  Oh, and someone needs to shave that scuzzy beard off his smug mug and take some of his ego with it.  

Frankly, I would like to see the IQ of the whole kit and kaboodle.

16 hours ago, sixlets said:

It's probably safe to say Joy's maybe not the brightest bulb in the box and is naive to what Austin is doing.  But, he knows exactly what he's doing and seemingly has no issue with it, which is disgusting.  He's preying on her naivete and upbringing, and it's not a good look.  Oh, and someone needs to shave that scuzzy beard off his smug mug and take some of his ego with it.  

https://nypost.com/2015/05/04/science-proves-that-beards-contain-fecal-matter/

[SunnyBeBe]

I know quite a few young guys who have scuzzy beards right now, including  my nephew.  I’ve been told it’s trendy.  🤨

[Stevie Nicks]

19 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

Austin is surly and a lot like what we've seen of his dad.  I think Joy goes along to get along with him.  Poor little kids are going to be criticized for every nitpicking thing (according to Austin.)  These fundie men think they are all that and a bag of chips.  I'd go bonkers.

I'd go homicidal. (Yes, I'm kidding) 

[GeeGolly]

It seems to me the scruffier the beard, the more times the guy strokes (ew) it. I bet Austin's beard is dirtier than Joy's feet. 🧔🏽🦶🏽😬

[CalicoKitty]

Sadly, Joy does not have any choices.  In her culture, she must obey her headship, and he can treat her any way he wishes.  She has to live with it. Don't like my beard?  Tough.  Don't like how I speak to you?  Too bad for you.  And I think Austin was brought up knowing that the man of the family is in charge.  I feel sorry for her, but I don't think she is bright enough to see the problem or to find a way out.

Edited August 20, 2023 by CalicoKitty
missing word

[Salacious Kitty]

3 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

Sadly, Joy does not have any choices.  In her culture, she must obey her headship, and he can treat her any way he wishes.  She has to live with it. Don't like my beard?  Tough.  Don't like how I speak to you?  Too bad for you.  And I think Austin was brought knowing that the man of the family is in charge.  I feel sorry for her, but I don't think she is bright enough to see the problem or to find a way out.

Agreed. I mentioned earlier that she's blind to his faults. And he has many. 

[CalicoKitty]

Just now, Salacious Kitty said:

Agreed. I mentioned earlier that she's blind to his faults. And he has many. 

I'm not sure if she is blind to his faults, or has given up knowing that she has no agency to do anything about the situation.  Either way--very sad way to live.

[Salacious Kitty]

18 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

I'm not sure if she is blind to his faults, or has given up knowing that she has no agency to do anything about the situation.  Either way--very sad way to live.

I think she's blind. She seems to think he hung the moon. She doesn't bat an eyelash when he criticizes her. 

It's really sad to see, but she doesn't know any other way. 

[CalicoKitty]

7 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

I think she's blind. She seems to think he hung the moon. She doesn't bat an eyelash when he criticizes her. 

It's really sad to see, but she doesn't know any other way. 

Duggar brainwashing at its finest.

[Salacious Kitty]

2 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

Duggar brainwashing at its finest.

She's all in on the submissive wife bullshit. She lives to please him. 

[CalicoKitty]

She has been told her entire life that she must please her headship.  Since she lacks any critical thinking skills, she is probably very proud she is  "doing her duty".  So sad.  Just like smug Anna.

 

[BetyBee]

In the years that I watched the show, I saw Joy as a bit of a tomboy (good for her!), capable of speaking her mind. I remember an episode when she reached the age of maturity (?!) and she was with one of her brothers in a plane. Maybe he was trying to teach her to fly? She started talking like a total ditz, which I guess was her being "girly". It was truly depressing. If I remember correctly, she was soon courting Austin. She does seem to be an optimistic person, but Austin is not. He's just a know-it-all.

[GeeGolly]

34 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

In the years that I watched the show, I saw Joy as a bit of a tomboy (good for her!), capable of speaking her mind. I remember an episode when she reached the age of maturity (?!) and she was with one of her brothers in a plane. Maybe he was trying to teach her to fly? She started talking like a total ditz, which I guess was her being "girly". It was truly depressing. If I remember correctly, she was soon courting Austin. She does seem to be an optimistic person, but Austin is not. He's just a know-it-all.

Agree. Joy was a much bolder Duggar daughter until Austin. She shared many (non religious) opinions. I do think she still does with Austin, as I remember him saying he was learning to value Joy's opinions. But Austin seems easily annoyed and is very quick with his authoritarian stance when he is. And it seems (for now anyway) Joy isn't bothered by it.

[andromeda331]

7 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

Duggar brainwashing at its finest.

Along with all the abuse, neglect and everything else from being raised in the Duggar family. Joe who talked her back into her faith was her favorite brother because he said hi to her every day and no one else in her family. The bar is very, very low. 

[louannems]

On 8/20/2023 at 1:46 PM, Salacious Kitty said:

She's all in on the submissive wife bullshit. She lives to please him. 

I can’t forget how the entire time Jinger was courting and constantly texting Jeremy, Joy was still a total Tom-boy and seemed annoyed at Jinger’s infatuation.

And then just like that she herself was engaged and deferring to Austin about all things wedding planning.  She suddenly changed her whole demeanor to please him.  Ick.

[AgathaC]

15 hours ago, louannems said:

I can’t forget how the entire time Jinger was courting and constantly texting Jeremy, Joy was still a total Tom-boy and seemed annoyed at Jinger’s infatuation.

And then just like that she herself was engaged and deferring to Austin about all things wedding planning.  She suddenly changed her whole demeanor to please him.  Ick.

You know, I remember once when I was a teenager, my sister, father and I were over at his parents’ house one evening and my sister and I found an old book belonging to our aunt. It was full of fashion tips, etc., but it also had a chapter we called “how to trap a man.” All kinds of ridiculous stuff like don’t show how smart you are, etc. We were laughing about it and shocked at what it said. Our grandmother was shocked we were shocked, because to her “raised in the 1930s and ‘40s mind” that was perfectly good advice. She turned to our dad for him to back her up. He replied “I wouldn’t want my girls to be with any guy who expected or was attracted to that sort of junk.” Shut her down nicely. (My grandmother is a wonderful woman in many ways and we adore her, but…)

Anyway, stories like Joy’s make me see how lucky I am. And sadden me how many people still embrace a harmful, backwards attitude without the excuse of having been brought up decades ago.

[Joan of Argh]

Austin’s misogynistic caveman attitude and that gross, scruffy beard makes my skin crawl, I don’t know how Joy can stand him crawling all over her in bed, I’d puke!  🤮

[GeeGolly]

I think Austin loves Joy, just as I think Jeremy and Derick love Jinger and Jill, but I also think all 3 husbands have taken advantage of their headship roles in different ways. And of course being raised to be a doormat doesn't help the sisters at all.

In the long term though, I think Austin's behaviors are most damaging.

[Gemma Violet]

Joy's latest video consists of: Joy's explanation of how her swimming lesson went, bringing Evie to the hospital for stomach pains, Evie's birthday, and that's about it. 

Joy really needs to learn the ins and out of proper editing techniques.