S06.E07: The Long Road Home

[Tara Ariano]

Quote

Maci's daughter Jayde turns one and frets because Ryan's not around for Bentley; and Farrah moves to L.A., but continues to fight with Simon.

[Snarky McSnarky]

This should be interesting since Farrah never actually moved to L.A.  She bought a townhouse, fixed it up, has tried to rent it and sell it but thus far it is still vacant.

[GreatKazu]

The episode description reads as if Jayde is fretting over Ryan. 

[CofCinci]

I'm confused by the Farrah clip. Is Simon the only one who cares about returning the truck?  

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

On September 23, 2016 at 4:06 PM, Tara Ariano said:

Quote

Maci's daughter Jayde turns one and frets because Ryan's not around for Bentley; and Farrah moves to L.A., but continues to fight with Simon.

Maci frets because Ryan isn't around for Bentley? Well, this is certainly a change. It's a totally new storyline! It's not something we've EVER seen before on (almost every episode of) this show for the past seven years. /sarcasm

[geekamonggeeks]

Maybe this will come across as insensitive because I don't have children, but...at what point will Maci just accept that Ryan will never be the father she wants him to be for Bentley? Even in the past, when he was trying, she would always find some sort of fault in what he was doing. Just this past season, when Ryan told Bentley about his new bedroom, Maci acted like it was some sort of conspiracy against her and that Ryan totally did it on purpose to get at her instead of just having a regular conversation with his son. Chelsea's the same way with regards to Adam (though he's arguably worse than Ryan). My thing is that Maci has been saying for the past seven years that Ryan will never be the father Bentley needs him to be. So why keep complaining about a moot point? Considering how she's tried to replace him in the past, i wonder if Ryan's relative absence in Bentley's life really bothers her as much as she tries to project on the show. 

[Madison Bumgarner]

Isn't Matt like 50? Why the fuck does he dress like a 21 year old college frat boy?! God, what a L-O-S-E-R. And of course, Amber and Matt can't walk around a furniture store for five minutes before plopping their lazy, filthy asses on the couches. And does Amber know 1st grade math? Every other weekend is NOT 50/50. Her and Adam must have graduated from the same online program.

 

Editing to add that I meant Amber was talking about it being 50/50 long before it actually was. I'm shocked that Gary agreed to it, but I think it just further proves that he is getting a bit better about things . He's always had Leah's best interest at heart.

Edited September 27, 2016 by Madison Bumgarner

[ClassyCourtHeels]

Apparently Amber's FU house is only around 200K based on Zillow. Once the show is over she won't be able to afford those payments with everything she owes in back taxes. And Gary confirms Amber's move only puts her 5 minutes closer which we discussed on here last week.

 

Also have we seen Amber speak at all this season without Matt hovering?

Edited September 27, 2016 by ClassyCourtHeels

[Madison Bumgarner]

Amber is still that far away from her school?! She was praising herself and Matt for "moving closer."

[Brooklynista]

WTF is going on with Ryan's eyes? They are so dilated and unfocused. 

[Primetimer]

In a couples-centric episode, Amber and Matt buy a house, Maci and Taylor wait for their baby to come, and Farrah and Simon continue being toxic.

View the full article

[CofCinci]

6 minutes ago, Brooklynista said:

WTF is going on with Ryan's eyes? They are so dilated and unfocused. 

I'm convinced that Ryan suffers from traumatic brain injury (TBI) due to that car accident a few years ago.

[alexa]

I noticed in the closing clips that Maci and Taylor were wearing the clothes they wore for the maternity photos discussed in her thread.

Watching Amber and Matt shop was vomit inducing.  Wow they think highly of themselves. 

[Chris Knight]

Amber really can't manage to get Leah to brush her teeth ? Does she feed her ? Bathe her ? Mother of the  Year.

Matt: " It's shopping time!" Says the loser with no job and 9 illegitimate children.

Maci really worries me with all those small children around that pool.

[Chris Knight]

19 minutes ago, ClassyCourtHeels said:

Apparently Amber's FU house is only around 200K based on Zillow. Once the show is over she won't be able to afford those payments with everything she owes in back taxes. And Gary confirms Amber's move only puts her 5 minutes closer which we discussed on here last week.

 

Also have we seen Amber speak at all this season without Matt hovering?

Where is the house ? Can you post the Zillow link ?

[SPLAIN]

The Long Road Home

Is the title supposed to be a jab at Amber and how far she is from her child's home?

Something about Matt and how he talks.  It sounds so garbled and foamy as if he has saliva swirling around in that cesspool of a mouth.

[Pherber]

58 minutes ago, alexa said:

 

Watching Amber and Matt shop was vomit inducing.  Wow they think highly of themselves. 

And they blew money exactly like white trash do, buying everything in sight.  

[WhosThatGirl]

Amber got a new  couch! Did anything new happen besides this? This show is getting worse and showing us how  static these girls lives have become.

[ChristmasJones]

What a snoozefest. Yawn.

I haven't followed the social media (and skipped last season)...  how many kids does Matt actually have?

[mamadrama]

Matt walking around and pointing at things to buy with money that isnt his...

Tyler and Cate not covering the baby's head in the hot sun.

Farrah pretending she is going to live in that house.

Maci, Maci, Maci.

[Willowsmom]

Who ever thought that Gary would be the most responsible  and able parent in the group.

[WhosThatGirl]

Yeah it's strange how much I like Gary lately. He seems nice and kind and he's an actual parent to his daughters.

[kdl88]

Matt saying, "I just laugh" had the exact opposite effect of what he wanted. He sounded so defensive. 

[AhFillAck]

Pretty boring tonight. There is not much to add that everyone hasn't covered so far, except:

I caught a glimpse of a gargantuan fugly vase in Amber's house, and, of course, it had those stupid tall curly sticks in it. Some of these were hot pink. Why? WHY THE STICKS IN THE VASES?!?

Taylor with his stupid hipster beard standing with his two friends with stupid hipster beards was more than I could take. Three stupid hipster beards in one shot! One of them said Jayde was "one years old!" Is that cutesy hipster talk?  I wouldn't know.

I'm glad that Catelynn only had two "spritz" of anxiety she was away. It's likely because she was FINALLY away from Tyler. Tyler with his stupid little hipster hat. I get a "spritz" of anxiety with every scene he is in.

Amber said that during the custody business she told someone she would kill herself if she didn't get to see Leah. Did she say that to Gary? For a moment I thought she meant she said it to Leah herself. I wouldn't put it past her.

I did laugh turning on the episode and seeing Amber on a couch IN A STORE.

I love L.A. and used to live there (West Hollywood and Hollywood), and was hoping to get an indication of what area Farrah's new tacky abode is in.

Edited September 27, 2016 by AhFillAck
I forgot to mention how someone said something dumb.

[mamadrama]

Our son died 6 years ago. After he died, my husband felt the need to change something about him physically. He didn't feel the same on the inside so he wanted that reflected on the outside. As a result, he grew a beard. He's had it now for 6 years and has refused to shave it off, although he does keep it neat and trimmed. 

After watching that scene with the bearded trio he marched straight into the bathroom and, for the first time in half a decade, I heard that razor going. 

[Racj82]

1 hour ago, AhFillAck said:

Pretty boring tonight. There is not much to add that everyone hasn't covered so far, except:

I caught a glimpse of a gargantuan fugly vase in Amber's house, and, of course, it had those stupid tall curly sticks in it. Some of these were hot pink. Why? WHY THE STICKS IN THE VASES?!?

Taylor with his stupid hipster beard standing with his two friends with stupid hipster beards was more than I could take. Three stupid hipster beards in one shot! One of them said Jayde was "one years old!" Is that cutesy hipster talk?  I wouldn't know.

I'm glad that Catelynn only had two "spritz" of anxiety she was away. It's likely because she was FINALLY away from Tyler. Tyler with his stupid little hipster hat. I get a "spritz" of anxiety with every scene he is in.

Amber said that during the custody business she told someone she would kill herself if she didn't get to see Leah. Did she say that to Gary? For a moment I thought she meant she said it to Leah herself. I wouldn't put it past her.

I did laugh turning on the episode and seeing Amber on a couch IN A STORE.

I love L.A. and used to live there (West Hollywood and Hollywood), and was hoping to get an indication of what area Farrah's new tacky abode is in.

I feel like you don't like hipsters.

Farrah treats everyone like shit.

Catelynn has her issues (also shocker that their house stinks) 

Maci has the PERFECT family. Damn that pizza looked good.

Amber is the comeback queen.

Lather rinse repeat.

Nuke this show. Farrah needs the spotlight taken off of her. Catelynn needs to lead a more regular life. Maybe Maci will stop moving and having kids with less money. Amber will have the wake up of her life when her man's gravy train goes away. All of this is needed for these women to grow up.

[FlowerofCarnage]

Amber goes furniture shopping and she immediately zeroes in on couches...the jokes write themselves. 

 My 8 year old has particularly rank morning breath so there is no way she is allowed to go through the day without brushing her teeth(also general hygiene practice). Leah may be the same which led Gary to remark to Amber about it which leads me to believe that Amber doesn't interact with Leah while she is in her care to notice or she does and just doesn't give a shit! 

8 years later and you're just no realizing that Ryan acts like Bentley's big brother, Maci?

[Katt]

Terrible editing, as usual. JaYde's birthday is May 29th, the "new one" is due the day after; they have a party for JaYde; Maci later complains she is literally 8 months pregnant. Whut? They had a party in April? (The month, not Cate's mother, although I'm sure plenty of things are living it up inside her)
I agree @CofCinci Ryan does look like the victim of a TBI. 

@mamadrama so sorry for your loss. <<Virtual hugs>>

Edited September 27, 2016 by Katt

[SuzWhat]

@mamadrama, I'm sorry for your loss.

tyler's hat.  I can't even.  He totally looked like a chick in it.  

[Brooklynista]

Rewatch ing now. So Amber was so unhappy about not being able to have Leah, that she didn't go get Leah? She skipped 3 or 4 Wednesdays since she was sad about not having her for more days??

People without kids buy white couches.

Does Farrah ever intend on staying at this LA house?

Also, somebody break down for me what was going on with Simon and returning the rental truck. That had me completely lost.

Edited September 27, 2016 by Brooklynista

[alexa]

8 hours ago, Pherber said:

And they blew money exactly like white trash do, buying everything in sight.  

That is exactly what they looked like.  You only go buy like that if you are trying to prove you are wealthier than you are.  Otherwise you would make some careful choices.  They are so gross, and are acting like idiots.  

[ghoulina]

Farrah and her "second home" are so hilarious. Didn't she already sell that thing? And I loved Sophia's IDGAF face when Farrah told her they closed on it. Like a 6-year-old gets the concept of closing. Farrah either treats her like an infant or a contemporary, There is no in between. 

I love when Farrah and her mom fight, because then I get such gems as Deb sitting on the stairs and yelling, "I'm highly intelligent! I'm highly functional!" Someone make a GIF of that, because I could just watch it forever. 

So I know Farrah is no gem to deal with, but I feel we finally got a deeper glimpse into the real Simon tonight. He was a DICK, expecting the producers to figure out what to do with the rental truck and all the cardboard left in it. How is that their responsibility? I'm sorry Farrah is such a bitch, but this is NOT news to you. If you agreed to do all this with her, you accept the pain in the pass that comes along with it. Those two deserve each other, IMO. 

 

I'm not real thrilled to hear that Amber gets 50-50 custody of Leah in the summer. I wonder how much of that she'll actually get her? I tried to give her a pass on the sick thing, but now we hear that she "called off" because she was so depressed over the custody battle? First, who says "called off" about seeing their child? You "call off" from work. You don't "call off" from motherhood. That, to me, says all I need to know about how she views her role in Leah's life. 

Second, she was so depressed over the custody "battle" that she couldn't get out of bed? It was all HER doing!!! Gary's lawyer kept putting together a deal and Amber would shoot it down, often based on semantics. She's also way behind in child support. And apparently she can't be bothered to stay on top of the child's dental hygiene.  IMO, GARY should be the one bedridden. What a horrible excuse for a human being. 

But have fun furnishing your un-earned home with tchotchkes from that horrible store you guys just love so much. I like how they weren't in the place for more than 5 minutes when Amber proclaimed, "I'm ready to collapse". When AREN'T you ready to collapse?

When Leah and Matt were doing flips on the swing, I was hoping Matt would fall and break his neck. Just me?

 

So Cate's out of rehab. At midnight. It was SUCH a good thing for her, yet she couldn't wait for a reasonable hour, so she could have her husband and daughter pick her up. That's okay, the producer looked more excited to see her than Tyler did. But damned if he didn't make sure his phony-ass card got plenty of screen time. 

That hike they took before going home? More of those. You have no jobs. Take those daily. 

 

Not much to say about Maci's segments. I see we're back to the whole "Ryan doesn't come around" thing - yet Ryan says he comes to nearly all the games. Yawn. This dude is never going to change. I wouldn't push anything at this point. And I wouldn't punish Bentley or Larry and Jen because of Ryan's actions. Just keep things as they are and Bentley will likely just view his dad as an older brother. It's not going to hurt him. He has plenty of love in his life. 

Edited September 27, 2016 by ghoulina

[ghoulina]

10 hours ago, ChicagoChris said:

Maci really worries me with all those small children around that pool.

Did you catch the clip the editors threw in during the final montage of Jayde playing with a plastic bag?

[CofCinci]

They didn't film the week Tyler went to the rehab and brought his friend so they could party it up. Tyler made sure they filmed his shitty card.  Such a narcissist.

[geauxaway]

I couldn't get over the ginormous canvas print  of JFK's face at the top of Amber's upper class staircase.  Not gonna lie, that shit would freak me the f out in the dark!  What was that about anyway?  Maybe be was the president when Matt was born?  It's because they are both from Boston?  I just don't get it! Their decorating is awful, awful, awful!!!!!

Waited all episode to see Cate and Tyler shopping at the mall and it got cut.  I was visiting my nephew at UA last April and we saw them there while we were having supper, with camera crew in tow.  Now I'm on the cutting room floor!  

[Cherry Cola]

Tyler with the hat looked like Ducky from Pretty in Pink.  Not a good look for Tyler.  He looked pissy waiting for Cate to come from rehab.  Maybe he just has resting bitch face. 

Oh Farrah.  Shut up.  She said Karma is a bitch, so I think she should change her name to Karma. 

[ClassyCourtHeels]

1 hour ago, ghoulina said:

I'm not real thrilled to hear that Amber gets 50-50 custody of Leah in the summer. I wonder how much of that she'll actually get her? I tried to give her a pass on the sick thing, but now we hear that she "called off" because she was so depressed over the custody battle? First, who says "called off" about seeing their child? You "call off" from work. You don't "call off" from motherhood. That, to me, says all I need to know about how she views her role in Leah's life. 

Second, she was so depressed over the custody "battle" that she couldn't get out of bed? It was all HER doing!!! Gary's lawyer kept putting together a deal and Amber would shoot it down, often based on semantics. She's also way behind in child support. And apparently she can't be bothered to stay on top of the child's dental hygiene.  IMO, GARY should be the one bedridden. What a horrible excuse for a human being. 

 

 

She clearly give zero fucks. But she moved closer you guys. 

 

Yeah she went from being 40 minutes away to 35. If I split custody of my kids I would 100% try to live close to them. I wouldn't live three or four towns over. And she can't even be bothered to get Leah to brush her teeth? Gary has to tell Leah himself to remember because Amber won't. 

[Brooklynista]

It doesn't matter where Amber lives.  Amber is the babysitter.  She takes Leah so Gary and Kristine have a bit of a head rest for a weekend. Amber's the good time where Leah doesn't have to brush teeth or do homework?  Its a sleep away camp.

[ghoulina]

28 minutes ago, ClassyCourtHeels said:

She clearly give zero fucks. But she moved closer you guys. 

 

Yeah she went from being 40 minutes away to 35.

Yea, Gary said it was just 5 minutes closer. Amber tried to claim it was 10-15 minutes closer, and only 20 minutes from her school. I need to put on my Megan Kind Edmonds headband of truth and Mapquest this shit out of this. 

[AhFillAck]

Did anyone notice that during Cate and Tyler's big "reunion", she couldn't be bothered to put down her armload of In-n-Out and therefore she gave him a sort of half-hug? It looked like the kind of "reunion" you'd have with your spouse after, well, coming back from getting In-n-Out at the drive-thru. Odd. Just re-enacted I guess, but it looked dumb.

[teapot]

4 minutes ago, AhFillAck said:

Did anyone notice that during Cate and Tyler's big "reunion", she couldn't be bothered to put down her armload of In-n-Out and therefore she gave him a sort of half-hug? It looked like the kind of "reunion" you'd have with your spouse after, well, coming back from getting In-n-Out at the drive-thru. Odd. Just re-enacted I guess, but it looked dumb.

I would not sacrifice crushing my burger or spilling my drink just for a chance to hug Tyler.  #justsayin

[AhFillAck]

8 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Our son died 6 years ago. After he died, my husband felt the need to change something about him physically. He didn't feel the same on the inside so he wanted that reflected on the outside. As a result, he grew a beard. He's had it now for 6 years and has refused to shave it off, although he does keep it neat and trimmed. 

After watching that scene with the bearded trio he marched straight into the bathroom and, for the first time in half a decade, I heard that razor going. 

I'm so very sorry to hear about your son, mamadrama. :-(

How nice for you to see your husband's face again!

[poopchute]

Poor Sophia.  Farrah acts like she has some great surprise for her and when she opens her eyes it's like, the deed to a house.  Yay just what every little girl wants!  

[AhFillAck]

2 minutes ago, teapot said:

I would not sacrifice crushing my burger or spilling my drink just for a chance to hug Tyler.  #justsayin

Ha ha! Exactly. Even though he's #besthusbandevah #myknightinatinyhat  she did have some shakes there. Yum.

[scrappyrunner75]

I really get the feeling that if Gary had the chance he would totally go back to Amber. I don't know if it's the way they edit or I'm just imagining things. I'm sure Amber isn't the only thing him and his wife (they did get married, right?) talk about, hopefully. But I just feel like he looks so nostalgic every time he talks about Amber. Or maybe it's just gas! :) 

Farrah is so horrible. Absolutely rude and nasty. The only person she seems to tolerate is Sophia and that's only when she is being a cutie, wootie little bit oopie pie. UGH! I cringed when Deborah sorta, kinda stood up to her. I thought for sure Farrah was going to smack her. 

Amber with the couches in that store. OMG! Hilarious! 

[ghoulina]

43 minutes ago, poopchute said:

Poor Sophia.  Farrah acts like she has some great surprise for her and when she opens her eyes it's like, the deed to a house.  Yay just what every little girl wants!  

Right? She probably thought she was getting a new pet, or going on a roller coaster. But alas, Farrah just bought another home that Sophia will probably never set foot in before Farrah tries to sell it again. 

[evilmindatwork]

9 minutes ago, scrappyrunner75 said:

I really get the feeling that if Gary had the chance he would totally go back to Amber. I don't know if it's the way they edit or I'm just imagining things. I'm sure Amber isn't the only thing him and his wife (they did get married, right?) talk about, hopefully. But I just feel like he looks so nostalgic every time he talks about Amber. Or maybe it's just gas! :) 

 

I think this was true in the past but not anymore. Gary is a lot more settled after the birth of his new daughter.  I think it took him a while to kick Amber because she was his first love, but he seems to realize how toxic that relationship was, and how lucky he is to be in a stable one now. He doesn't even try to needle Amber anymore but communicates essential things in a straightforward way, "please make sure Leah brushes her teeth." That's the most basic thing you can ask of a parent. 

[Ljohnson1987]

Farrah: You're a bitch, and will always be one. It'll be karma when Sophia treats you like shit. She calls Simon names, but she needs to look at herself.

Catelynn: Hope you got what you wanted out of treatment. 

Amber: When will you see what a douche Matt is?

Maci: Get on birth control. 

[mrs ra]

In the Arizona sunshine : only Tyler was wearing a hat? What about protecting poor  little fair skinned Nova???

[CofCinci]

2 hours ago, geauxaway said:

I couldn't get over the ginormous canvas print  of JFK's face at the top of Amber's upper class staircase.  Not gonna lie, that shit would freak me the f out in the dark!  What was that about anyway?  Maybe be was the president when Matt was born?  It's because they are both from Boston?  I just don't get it! Their decorating is awful, awful, awful!!!!!

Matt can remember the broad he was scamming when JFK was killed.