Season 4 Discussion

[loki310]

Any attorney worth her salt would be able to bust that prenup wide open. Pedro has no representation, can't even understand English, is from another country, and they're making him sign a legal document???

[mamadrama]

2 hours ago, Major Bigtime said:

You show officials footage from this stupid show where Alla said she didn't love Matt.

 

1 hour ago, newyorkgirl said:

That is not illegal. It may seem foreign to you but love is not required for someone to agree to enter into a marriage contract. Marriage is just a legal contract. They don't care if you love the person or not.  If there is other evidence of fraud, you can certainly point out this conversation but it doesn't have as much strength as you think it would.

I actually applauded Alla for saying that. To  me, she was not saying that she doesn't love Matt, she was saying that love (to her) is something that builds up over a course of many years and takes a long time to develop. It reminds me of the following exchange from the play THE HEIRESS. 

Morris: Is it possible to offer more than the most tender affection and a lifelong devotion?

Dr. Sloper: A lifelong devotion is measured after the fact; and meanwhile it is usual in these cases to give a few material securities.

All to often we are quick to say that we "love" people or are "in love with them." True love, in my opinion, comes with time and daily living with the other person. I've been with my husband for many years. In the beginning I said I "loved" him. However, it's NOTHING compared to the feelings I have almost 20 years later. In fact, when I look back on those early years I am not sure I even knew what love was. Infatuation? Yes. Desire? Yes. Maybe even obsession. But the real love came much later. And we are definitely stronger. 

This is what I think Alla means. 

[TeapotWakeen]

I agree, mamadrama, I don't think Alla ever said she didn't love Matt -- she just said that she hasn't said "I love you" to him. She was actually pretty clear in saying that love is something that takes time, and develops over the length of a relationship. Not everyone says those words easily, or lightly, or (what is, to him or her) thoughtlessly. There are more reasons for marriage than romantic love, and Alla has her own reasons for being with Matt. And both of them have been around the block enough to have some baggage from previous relationships. Matt just has a matching set for his 4 wives... Alla sticks to a carry-on for her and her son. Perhaps 2 sides of the same coin, perhaps not.

[Quof]

Quote

Please someone tell me that the auntie really has custody of that sweet baby girl. It's unfortunate enough that Nicole is her mother

Well, it does appear that Auntie got May out of diapers and off the pacifier while her mother was gone....  That may just be natural development at her age, but it may also be the result of Auntie focusing her attention on parenting the child.

[poeticlicensed]

I know for a fact that airport welcome home scene with Nicole was either a set up or reenactment. I fly through that airport all the time. The place Nicole emerged from came directly from the gate area. Baggage claim is on the other side of the airport. Yet I see Nicole emerge from the airside (that's what the gate areas are called in the Tampa airport) with a huge bag in tow. No way was that her carry on. Which means she had already claimed her bag. Which means that she  had to have landed darlier, gotten her bag, came back up and done a fake entrance for the cameras. No wonder her daughter wasn't jumping into her arms. Her plane arrived at least 20 minutes earlier and she had already greeted her family. Such bullshit. 

And wtf was she eating? It looked disgusting. I think that she and azan did not get along (surprise!) and now she needs to embellish the story for her family to make him seem like the asshole. 

Edited November 7, 2016 by poeticlicensed

[trimthatfat]

If Pedro is going to have to sign a pre-nup, it should not be rushed, he should have it available to him in Spanish, he should have a lawyer advocating for him, and he should have clauses that protect him as well.

I feel like Western culture is very much obsessed with the idea of love and the word love. Many people marry and claim they love one another and then 10 years later, they are embroiled in a bitter divorce. Alla seems to have a more practical approach - she cares about Matt, she uprooted herself and her son for a life here, and she's been quite amicable since she arrived. Matt has been married 3 times so clearly that love wasn't enough to keep those relationships afloat. I was annoyed that Alla had to stand up for herself to get Patrick to shut up and leave; it's like Matt was afraid to say anything to Patrick. If even Patrick's girlfriend is appalled by his behavior, Matt should have felt confident enough to tell Patrick to go fuck himself.

Edited November 7, 2016 by Drogo
Removed social media spoilers.

[Quof]

Quote

Any attorney worth her salt would be able to bust that prenup wide open.

Hell, any law student.  You learn this on the first day of your first year Family Law class - a prenup without independent legal advice is invalid. 

[Landlord]

8 hours ago, liammaam said:

Wait, WHAT?  That was an ex-wife????

No, it was just a very distasteful joke. Not his wife. 

[Landlord]

7 hours ago, gavinmac said:

Patrick is a jerk for interrogating Alla about "Why do you love Matt?"

Alla should have responded "I'm not going to be interrogated by you" and/or Matt should have cut the guy off and said "You're not going to interrogate her."  

What Alla should NOT have done was admit she doesn't love Matt and THEN claim to be offended by the questioning.  Because she kind of lost the moral high ground once she admitted she was marrying a man she doesn't love so that she and her son can get green cards.

Lowo is stringing Narkyia along and either hasn't applied for the fiance visa and/or is up to some shady dealings in Vietnam. 

She never said she did not love him all in all. She just said she hadn't told him aloud.

 

5 hours ago, loki310 said:

Any attorney worth her salt would be able to bust that prenup wide open. Pedro has no representation, can't even understand English, is from another country, and they're making him sign a legal document???

I was thinking along those lines last night. Is it even legal to make Pedro sign a paper that he's not in measure to understand? 

 

Also, I wanted to slap the crap out of Nicole each time her mother would say something to her, she'd have a long sigh and go "mh-hmmmmmmm"...... That girl would not last a day in my household, and I'm so freaking lax on everything....

[Major Bigtime]

20 minutes ago, Quof said:

Hell, any law student.  You learn this on the first day of your first year Family Law class - a prenup without independent legal advice is invalid. 

Chantel and Pedro's story is fake. All of it. I don't believe for one minute her and her family would make him sign something without him having legal representation. I'm surprised they didn't trot out that attorney that appears on Housewives of Atlanta. Or have Phaedra represent Pedro, LOL!!!

[LocalGovt]

Jorge and Anfisa -- you're both idiots who deserve each other.  Jorge must be the baby of the family by a few decades. Some of his sisters could pass for his mom.

What makes Alla any different than Anfisa, except for her quiet demeanor?  She's in this for the same reasons Anfisa is.  Anfisa wants money. Alla wants a green card and to bring her sister over.  Matt -- he's  pathetic. Seriously.  That he would have  no problem with the fact that this woman says she may "never" love him.  The sex must be good.

The nurse and the catfisher -- I can't even recall either of their names -- nauseating. Another one who has no self-respect.  Again, the sex must be good.

Chantal -- how disrespectfully she talks about her future MIL.  If I were her parents, I'd be embarrassed to have anyone know she was my daughter, but they probably spoiled her from day one, so this is what you get, I guess.  Pedro  -- I'm not sure what to make of him. Again, the sex must be good.

Edited November 7, 2016 by LocalGovt

[LocalGovt]

32 minutes ago, Landlord said:

She never said she did not love him all in all. She just said she hadn't told him aloud.

She said she "may never" tell him she loves him.  Really, she can see how important it is to him to hear it. He even explained it to her. If she "still" cannot possibly "ever" tell him...she doesn't love him.

[MrSmith]

On 11/6/2016 at 1:21 AM, Matias130 said:

No, Anfisa is still misleading no matter what the cameras catch her saying to him. If she and Jorge had met on a sugar baby website, it would all be on the table. For being only about $$$$ I see a lot of mixed messages from both of them, especially when she says "If you love me you would .... ". The word "Love" does not belong here if she is being totally upfront about this being an arrangement. She surely only loves his money, but he is supposed to love her, like a pet  I guess. And for the love of God, please don't let any of your daughters ever watch this season and the Anfisa segments and allow them to think this behavior is somehow excusable because it is "honest." 

We don't have children, but we do have a couple of nieces and several nephews. If any of them ever were to watch this season (or any show with a person or character who acts substantially similar), I would use it as a teachable moment. Anfisa and Jorge both are object lessons in what not to do and how not to act.

[Granny58]

10 hours ago, ExplainItAgain said:

So Jorge is doing business deals in the parking lot of a 99 cent store? What?

I think he was giving direction, using the store as a landmark, i.e. turn right at the 99 cent store.

[MrSmith]

9 hours ago, liammaam said:

Wait, WHAT?  That was an ex-wife????

No, it turned out to be "clever" editing on the part of the producers to make it look that way in the previews.

Also, has anyone else noticed that they run an expanded version of the previous week's episode immediately before the current week's episode? We caught the last 18 minutes or so of the expanded episode and it had footage that hadn't been aired last week. For example, there was footage of Alla's bachelorette party. This kind of stuff really irritates me because I feel like if they can show this footage during a regular one hour episode the week after the episode originally aired, then why can't they just show it during the original airing? Why do I have to sit and watch their episode a second time? Of course, I'll now be taping the expanded episodes..... So, their ruse obviously works. Though, I'll be DVR'ing it and skipping all the garbage I already saw.

[Granny58]

9 hours ago, KariLois said:

I really don't get the Azan love.  He is trying to scam a girl he clearly hates for a green card.  I feel for Nicole.

as annoying as I find Nicole to be, last night I did feel pity for her. 

7 hours ago, Teddybear said:

That bootleg Jim Carrey from Dumb and Dumber needs to shut the fuck up and mind his own business.  I'm happy Alla stood up for herself and said he was being offensive.  

LOL

[Landlord]

46 minutes ago, LocalGovt said:

Jorge and Anfisa -- you're both idiots who deserve each other.  Jorge must be the baby of the family by a few decades. Some of his sisters could pass for his mom.

What makes Alla any different than Anfisa, except for her quiet demeanor?  She's in this for the same reasons Anfisa is.  Anfisa wants money. Alla wants a green card and to bring her sister over.  Matt -- he's  pathetic. Seriously.  That he would have  no problem with the fact that this woman says she may "never" love him.  The sex must be good.

The nurse and the catfisher -- I can't even recall either of their names -- nauseating. Another one who has no self-respect.  Again, the sex must be good.

Chantal -- how disrespectfully she talks about her future MIL.  If I were her parents, I'd be embarrassed to have anyone know she was my daughter, but they probably spoiled her from day one, so this is what you get, I guess.  Pedro  -- I'm not sure what to make of him. Again, the sex must be good.

She did not say she did not love him. She just said she hasn't told him if she does or not. 

I cannot wait to see Narkiya splat that ice cream cone in his stupid face again. I hooted and it woke up Mr Landlord, he was all grumpy. 

[Granny58]

4 hours ago, mamadrama said:

 

I actually applauded Alla for saying that. To  me, she was not saying that she doesn't love Matt, she was saying that love (to her) is something that builds up over a course of many years and takes a long time to develop. It reminds me of the following exchange from the play THE HEIRESS. 

Morris: Is it possible to offer more than the most tender affection and a lifelong devotion?

Dr. Sloper: A lifelong devotion is measured after the fact; and meanwhile it is usual in these cases to give a few material securities.

All to often we are quick to say that we "love" people or are "in love with them." True love, in my opinion, comes with time and daily living with the other person. I've been with my husband for many years. In the beginning I said I "loved" him. However, it's NOTHING compared to the feelings I have almost 20 years later. In fact, when I look back on those early years I am not sure I even knew what love was. Infatuation? Yes. Desire? Yes. Maybe even obsession. But the real love came much later. And we are definitely stronger. 

This is what I think Alla means. 

I love and agree with everything you wrote.

[MrSmith]

9 hours ago, Major Bigtime said:

 It's against the law in Calif. to be on a cell phone while driving. That video alone would get him in big time trouble, but he's too dumb to know he's being scammed by a Russian hooker so why would he worry about being filmed breaking Calif. law?

You know, here's what I can't understand: He's got all this money for an expensive car, expensive ring, and so on, but he doesn't have the money to get a bluetooth headset for his phone? Hell, I drive a 2002 Saturn and I have enough money for both my wife and I to have bluetooth headsets. We live in MN and it's illegal to drive and hold the phone to your ear, as well. So, having the headset comes in handy surprisingly often (since I'm not an entrepreneur). I just don't understand people who don't have headsets for their phones. Are you seriously *never* going to use it while driving? I like mine for whenever I'm talking on the phone. I can't stand holding the phone to my head.

[Neurochick]

10 hours ago, sleepyjean said:

She just became the most hated person on this show for me. her entire family has been talking crap about Pedro. she created this whole sh!tty situation and has the nerve to get on her high horse about his relationship with his parents or the fact that he shares info that IS GOING TO BE ON NATIONAL TV while she prefers to be deceitful with her parents??? OMG I  can't even with this entitled immature, stupid  little b**** right now.

For me, his mother became the most hated person on this show.  I didn't dig her comment about, "we're PURE Dominicans."  As if her next sentence would be, "Chantal's not a REAL American" or some shit like that.  What a nasty horrible b**** that woman was, and her bigotry was well on display, but YMMV.

I get where Alla was coming from.  In the US, we put a huge emphasis of "marrying for love."  I remember a psychologist on Oprah's show who once said that after age 35 it was better to have a "companion marriage," meaning it was more important after age 35 that married couples be companions and partners, more than the "lovey dovey" type relationships.  Alla cares for Matt, he cares for her; if they are good companions and partners, then as Tina Turner used to say, "what's love got to do with it?"

Jorge better unload Anfisa before she causes him to have an accident and hurt some poor innocent person, just send the woman back to Russia.

Nicole needs to forget Azan, or else she'll become Danielle 2.0.

Edited November 7, 2016 by Neurochick

[MrSmith]

6 hours ago, Major Bigtime said:

You show officials footage from this stupid show where Alla said she didn't love Matt.

What we got from all of that is just that Alla uses the word 'love' in a more strict and reserved way than most Americans do. She didn't do herself any favors by simply saying she has never told Matt she loves him. She should have prefaced or followed that up with something to the effect that she cares about him deeply, and doesn't know whether that is real love or not. She's not conning anyone; neither Matt, nor herself, nor the government. She's no more wrong than I was right in telling my wife that I loved her while we were dating and yet didn't really have the first clue about what that actually meant until much later.

[MrSmith]

17 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

For me, his mother became the most hated person on this show.  I didn't dig her comment about, "we're PURE Dominicans."  As if her next sentence would be, "Chantal's not a REAL American" or some shit like that.  What a nasty horrible b**** that woman was, and her bigotry was well on display, but YMMV.

I get where Alla was coming from.  In the US, we put a huge emphasis of "marrying for love."  I remember a psychologist on Oprah's show who once said that after age 35 it was better to have a "companion marriage," meaning it was more important after age 35 that married couples be companions and partners, more than the "lovey dovey" type relationships.  Alla cares for Matt, he cares for her; if they are good companions and partners, then as Tina Turner used to say, "what's love got to do with it?"

Jorge better unload Anfisa before she causes him to have an accident and hurt some poor innocent person, just send the woman back to Russia.

Nicole needs to forget Azan, or else she'll become Danielle 2.0.

I'm pretty sure the "pure Dominicans" comment is a slam against Haitians. There is a lot of bigotry by Dominicans against Haitians. So, it was probably something along the lines of "Do they think we're just dumb Haitians? We're PURE Dominicans". I'm not saying it was right or defending it. I just wanted to point out that Haiti and the Dominican Republic share the island of Hispaniola and I wanted to say that I'm pretty sure that's where that comment came from. For me, it's the only way I can make sense of the comment.

[TeapotWakeen]

51 minutes ago, LocalGovt said:

She said she "may never" tell him she loves him.  Really, she can see how important it is to him to hear it. He even explained it to her. If she "still" cannot possibly "ever" tell him...she doesn't love him.

I thought when she said she "may never" tell him she loves him that it was in the context of "who knows how long we'll live? I could be gone (dead) in 3 years"? Or am I confusing multiple conversations? Again, I think she is talking more about saying the words than her feelings. I came from a family where I don't think I ever heard my mom or dad say "I love you" to me, but I knew they did. Those words were just not used. And I've been in relationships where the words were thrown around a lot, but the actions just weren't there.  I think that Americans focus on the words (generalizing!!), and other cultures focus on the actions that go with loving someone.

[Brooklynista]

I notice Nicole neglected to mention  she body slammed Azan against the van in Morocco when he was over her bratty behavior.

[Major Bigtime]

1 minute ago, Brooklynista said:

I notice Nicole neglected to mention  she body slammed Azan against the van in Morocco when he was over her bratty behavior.

It's OK. Everyone that knows her knows what happened now that it's been on TV. But I wouldn't put it past production of this goofy show to tell her to do that, and for him to go along with it. Production put Nicole in real danger at times with the way she dressed and acted. 

Production could have stepped in and told her "this type of clothing isn't acceptable here...". But they didn't.

[millennium]

7 hours ago, gavinmac said:

Patrick is a jerk for interrogating Alla about "Why do you love Matt?"

What I don't get is that unless Patrick wants to have sexual intercourse with Matt himself, why he even cares at this point.   This is wife No. 4.   Matt is obviously a first-class fuck-up when it comes to relationships.  There is something fundamentally wrong with this man.    That should have been clear after wife No. 2.  Honestly, if Matt were my friend I'd be scoffing at this farce of a relationship and starting a betting pool for when it tanks.

If Patrick had any decency or compassion, he'd be more concerned about this young woman who just came all the way from Poland with her little boy.  Odds are very good that both will wind up on the scrap heap of Matt's sociopathic romantic history.   A better man would pull Alla aside and say, "Matt's my friend, but you need to know what you're in for, especially since you have a child."    That could damage the friendship between Matt and Patrick, but friendship doesn't mean you are obligated to stand by while your friend screws with other people's lives.

[fountain]

25 minutes ago, MrSmith said:

You know, here's what I can't understand: He's got all this money for an expensive car, expensive ring, and so on, but he doesn't have the money to get a bluetooth headset for his phone? Hell, I drive a 2002 Saturn and I have enough money for both my wife and I to have bluetooth headsets. We live in MN and it's illegal to drive and hold the phone to your ear, as well. So, having the headset comes in handy surprisingly often (since I'm not an entrepreneur). I just don't understand people who don't have headsets for their phones. Are you seriously *never* going to use it while driving? I like mine for whenever I'm talking on the phone. I can't stand holding the phone to my head.

He probably doesn't need a headset, his car would have Bluetooth but maybe he doesn't want the other side of the calls heard because he is filming?  His car probably reads and records text messages too. 

[Brooklynista]

1 minute ago, millennium said:

What I don't get is that unless Patrick wants to have sexual intercourse with Matt himself, why he even cares at this point.   This is wife No. 4.   Matt is obviously a first-class fuck-up when it comes to relationships.  There is something fundamentally wrong with this man.    That should have been clear after wife No. 2.  Honestly, if Matt were my friend I'd be scoffing at this farce of a relationship and starting a betting pool for when it tanks.

If Patrick had any decency or compassion, he'd be more concerned about this young woman who just came all the way from Poland with her little boy.  Odds are very good that both will wind up on the scrap heap of Matt's sociopathic romantic history.   A better man would pull Alla aside and say, "Matt's my friend, but you need to know what you're in for, especially since you have a child."    That could damage the friendship between Matt and Patrick, but friendship doesn't mean you are obligated to stand by while your friend screws with other people's lives.

This!  Patrick gives me shades of Scarface. ummm...do you want to screw Matt?  Wanna keep him all for yourself? Perhaps Patrick has visions of opening up that clenched jaw of Matt's.  Nothing else makes sense about Patrick's behavior.

[Neurochick]

14 minutes ago, MrSmith said:

I'm pretty sure the "pure Dominicans" comment is a slam against Haitians. There is a lot of bigotry by Dominicans against Haitians. So, it was probably something along the lines of "Do they think we're just dumb Haitians? We're PURE Dominicans". I'm not saying it was right or defending it. I just wanted to point out that Haiti and the Dominican Republic share the island of Hispaniola and I wanted to say that I'm pretty sure that's where that comment came from. For me, it's the only way I can make sense of the comment.

Which is a bigoted comment in itself. 

[MrSmith]

7 minutes ago, fountain said:

He probably doesn't need a headset, his car would have Bluetooth but maybe he doesn't want the other side of the calls heard because he is filming?  His car probably reads and records text messages too. 

Fair enough, but in this situation I would think it would be worth the $100 to get a bluetooth headset. I certainly would. The ticket for driving and texting or having the phone to your ear is going to be at least that much money, and you'll get the hassle of dealing with the ticket as a free (and unwelcome) add-on.

Just now, Neurochick said:

Which is a bigoted comment in itself. 

Pretty sure I acknowledged that...

[millennium]

10 hours ago, liammaam said:

OH- last comment... do ya'll think that Azan actually said things like "shut the fuck up" to Nicole?  I don't think those two will ever be seeing each other in person ever again.

It flattered Nicole more to lie about Azan saying "shut the fuck up" than to complain:

He refused to show me off.

He didn't like that I was on my phone all the time.

He became angry when I showed blatant disregard for his culture and customs.

I tried unsuccessfully to bully him into kissing me in public.

I nearly had to be air-lifted up a sand dune.

The only humping I got was from a camel.

They don't serve drinks while you wait for your food at restaurants over there.

Edited November 7, 2016 by millennium

[trimthatfat]

26 minutes ago, MrSmith said:

I'm pretty sure the "pure Dominicans" comment is a slam against Haitians. There is a lot of bigotry by Dominicans against Haitians. So, it was probably something along the lines of "Do they think we're just dumb Haitians? We're PURE Dominicans". I'm not saying it was right or defending it. I just wanted to point out that Haiti and the Dominican Republic share the island of Hispaniola and I wanted to say that I'm pretty sure that's where that comment came from. For me, it's the only way I can make sense of the comment.

I am Haitian and I didn't take her comment to mean this. Interesting. I am aware of how people from DR view Haitians, well aware sadly due to personal experience, but yeah. I am very disappointed if she meant it that way.

Azan acknowledged he didn't treat Nicole well while she was visiting him, so it wouldn't surprise me at all if he told her to shut the fuck up. He's not a good guy, IMO. Nicole is no better.

[Straycat80]

I blame Matt for not shutting down that interrogation between Alla and his friend. Alla held her own against him but Matt should have stepped in too and told his friend off and to leave.

I hope Asan, Nicole, Narkiya and Lowo do not get together at all. How many more red flags do they need?!

Jorge is a lost cause. He's going to get killed driving and talking/texting, Anfisa is clearly over him and doesn't like America. He goes and buys her an engagement ring, what a doofus. If she stay and they married they only have themselves to blame. 

I don't know about Pedro and Chantel yet. They should have thought things out earlier and not lied.

I hope next week is the finale followed by the reunion like the show that follows this one is doing. 

Edited November 7, 2016 by Straycat80

[Awfarmington]

2 hours ago, trimthatfat said:

If Pedro is going to have to sign a pre-nup, it should not be rushed, he should have it available to him in Spanish, he should have a lawyer advocating for him, and he should have clauses that protect him as well.

I feel like Western culture is very much obsessed with the idea of love and the word love. Many people marry and claim they love one another and then 10 years later, they are embroiled in a bitter divorce. Alla seems to have a more practical approach - she cares about Matt, she uprooted herself and her son for a life here, and she's been quite amicable since she arrived. Matt has been married 3 times so clearly that love wasn't enough to keep those relationships afloat. I was annoyed that Alla had to stand up for herself to get Patrick to shut up and leave; it's like Matt was afraid to say anything to Patrick. If even Patrick's girlfriend is appalled by his behavior, Matt should have felt confident enough to tell Patrick to go fuck himself.

My impression was that he was totally on board with the line of questioning, he is insecure and needs to hear all the reasons someone loves him. And later on to Alla...'wow, that was so uncalled and crappy' (what Patrick did) , then it immediately turns it into 'so why don't say you love me, cuz we do that in America!'. 

He is so emotionally needy and she is very pragmatic, and not ruled by feelings. They are what hubby and I were 20 years ago. He even stomped out of my apartment when I didn't tell him I loved him back, after 2 weeks of dating. From experience, I would tell Alla to run! 

[DangerousMinds]

58 minutes ago, Major Bigtime said:

It's OK. Everyone that knows her knows what happened now that it's been on TV. But I wouldn't put it past production of this goofy show to tell her to do that, and for him to go along with it. Production put Nicole in real danger at times with the way she dressed and acted. 

Production could have stepped in and told her "this type of clothing isn't acceptable here...". But they didn't.

Azan could have purchased some kind of more appropriate tunic or other clothing for her too. 

 

15 minutes ago, Awfarmington said:

My impression was that he was totally on board with the line of questioning, he is insecure and needs to hear all the reasons someone loves him. And later on to Alla...'wow, that was so uncalled and crappy' (what Patrick did) , then it immediately turns it into 'so why don't say you love me, cuz we do that in America!'. 

He is so emotionally needy and she is very pragmatic, and not ruled by feelings. They are what hubby and I were 20 years ago. He even stomped out of my apartment when I didn't tell him I loved him back, after 2 weeks of dating. From experience, I would tell Alla to run! 

Maybe Matt does want a marriage based on love, and not simply to be used financially and for the opportunity for her to get a green card. If so, he should think hard before marrying AGAIN. 

[sleepyjean]

Quote

Love is not required for a K1 visa.  Besides. love is a western thing.  Not everyone is raised to be swept away into marriage by changing emotions.  If these folks want to marry non-westerners, they have to be able to understand that not everyone on the planet marries for love.

And Alla needs to understand that she is marrying someone who places a LOT of importance on love. For her, it may be about friendship, affection and respect that may one day grow in to more. But Matt wants to be loved. He wants it very very badly. And whether she's doing it for the right reasons or not, she's denying him that. He's a big puss, so he'll hang around, but he's obviously hurt by it.

 

Quote

What makes Alla any different than Anfisa, except for her quiet demeanor?

See comment above about friendship, affection, and respect. Alla wants to make a better life for herself and her son. But she's not willing to abuse Matt to get it. They've had their disagreements, but she she's been quite adaptable and willing to go along to get along.

 

Quote

We all know that if someone is annoying you on the phone, you can ignore them, block them, Jorge was acting like an idiot in that car.

Yes, but can you imagine the repercussions when he gets home?

For some reason, whenever Jorge says "my love", I hear "Mistress." Yes Mistress. Right away, Mistress. Whatever you say, Mistress.

Quote

Jorge will hit the jackpot, it looks like it's going to pass.

I wouldn't go that far. If it passes, there will be a lot of competition and a lot of motivation to get into that market. He's going to have to step up his efforts in order to win market share, or he'll be squeezed out. Depends on how good a businessman he is.

Quote

I didn't dig her comment about, "we're PURE Dominicans."  As if her next sentence would be, "Chantal's not a REAL American" or some shit like that.  What a nasty horrible b**** that woman was, and her bigotry was well on display, but YMMV.

I give his mom a pass. I'm not ready to ascribe racism to a situation where we have so little context. Her baby boy went to another country to marry this idiot chick who tried to hide their relationship, and when it finally came out, sided with her parents in bullying him into signing a legal document he doesn't understand. Meanwhile, she's far away and can't do anything to help or to support him. I think she went into full on mama bear mode.

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If Patrick had any decency or compassion, he'd be more concerned about this young woman who just came all the way from Poland with her little boy.  Odds are very good that both will wind up on the scrap heap of Matt's sociopathic romantic history.

Patrick isn't doing anything to help anybody. He a "right fighter." He just wants to be right. And he wants everyone to acknowledge it. And when the relationship doesn't work out, he will be the first to say "I told you so." I don't think any of his behavior comes from caring about Matt. I actually don't think he likes Matt very much at all.

Edited November 7, 2016 by sleepyjean

[steff13]

Matt's friend Patrick is a douchebag.  Run, Julie! 

[MrSmith]

22 minutes ago, trimthatfat said:

I am Haitian and I didn't take her comment to mean this. Interesting. I am aware of how people from DR view Haitians, well aware sadly due to personal experience, but yeah. I am very disappointed if she meant it that way.

Azan acknowledged he didn't treat Nicole well while she was visiting him, so it wouldn't surprise me at all if he told her to shut the fuck up. He's not a good guy, IMO. Nicole is no better.

I'm glad to get your view on this, then. What did you take her to mean by saying "pure Dominicans"?

Yeah, we didn't really care for how Azan treated Nicole, either. (For that matter, we didn't care for how Nicole treated Azan!) We figured his treatment of her is mostly down to being young, immature/inexperienced in life, and not realizing that you can get your partner to eat right and exercise by being supportive, positive, and building them up; whereas being negative, critical, and tearing them down is going to have the opposite effect. For the most part, if you don't have either direct or indirect (observational) experience with such a situation, it'll take a you some time to figure this out (and that assumes you ever figure it out; my sister-in-law's husband has never figured it out and they've been married about 22 years). Seeing him call her lazy really made us cringe.

When it comes to Nicole, we're mainly angered that she didn't take even 5 minutes to Google "Morocco" and learn about that country's people, their customs, laws, religion, and history. Coming in a close second for reasons why we dislike Nicole is her constant and aggressive choice to ignore the customs around public displays of affection by unmarried persons. Even if that were allowed, she doesn't have to hang on him constantly. Give the man some space and let him be his own person some of the time. Third is the fact she doesn't listen and, instead, has to constantly talk. That's the short list. Nobody wants to read a dissertation on the ways in which Nicole screwed her own visit/vacation to Morocco, and I don't really want to write one, anyway. :)

[Dobian]

6 hours ago, loki310 said:

Any attorney worth her salt would be able to bust that prenup wide open. Pedro has no representation, can't even understand English, is from another country, and they're making him sign a legal document???

I honestly don't get what the prenup is for.  It doesn't look to me like Chantal has that much to begin with.  It's not like she owns a house or something.  Post-marriage, if they're sharing bank accounts and all that he'd be able to claim half.

As for Alla loving or not loving Matt, if he wants to marry someone who is in love with him, he needs to look elsewhere because Alla likes him but isn't really into him.

[Awfarmington]

18 minutes ago, Straycat80 said:

I blame Matt for not shutting down that interrogation between Alla and his friend. Alla held her own against him but Matt should have stepped in too and told his friend off and to leave.

I hope Asan, Nicole, Narkiya and Lowo do not get together at all. How many more red flags do they need?!

Jorge is a lost cause. He's going to get killed driving and talking/texting, Anfisa is clearly over him and doesn't like America. He goes and buys her an engagement ring, what a doofus. If she stay and they married they only have themselves to blame. 

I don't know about Pedro and Chantel yet. They should have thought things out earlier and not lied.

I hope next week is the finale followed by the reunion like the show that follows this one is doing. 

Anfisa seemed to be interested in the most expensive dress and ring, not because they were more her taste but just for the fact that they were so much money. For a true bride, she is going to be very picky about what dress she wears and what the ring looks like, since she'll have it on her finger for decades. I'm wondering if she wants the most expensive items, so that she can flip them for the most cash when she leaves Jorge. 

[sleepyjean]

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Oh Nicole. You're so right. Every good relationship has been predicated on one or both parties completely changing their personalities 180 degrees!

I actually felt a tiny little twinge for Nicole last night. She really has no freaking clue what she is doing, and how she is about to mess up her daughter's life. Too young and dumb to realize love doesn't fix anything. It makes you more motivated to be selfless and work on the relationship, but doesn't, in and of itself, make a relationship work. Especially the kind of infatuation she has, which isn't really love at all.

[islandgal140]

1 hour ago, LocalGovt said:

What makes Alla any different than Anfisa, except for her quiet demeanor?  She's in this for the same reasons Anfisa is.  Anfisa wants money. Alla wants a green card and to bring her sister over.  Matt -- he's  pathetic. Seriously.  That he would have  no problem with the fact that this woman says she may "never" love him.  The sex must be good.

 

The fact that Alla is not a psycho bitch who doesn't demand money and the most expensive rings, bags, dresses etc., and actually manages to be civil and display a pleasing and nice disposition to her own fiance show her to be the polar opposite of Anfisa. Alla doesn't call Matt stupid and an idiot at every turn and managed not to delete all the contents of Matt's phone and roll her eyes at his mother's after she told her there would be no beach wedding. Can you just imagine Anfisa at the Touch of Elegance reception hall tour. Lordt! She would probably be dancing in all their blood after she slit their throats right on the spot! I think Alla is pragmatic and mature about her choices. Anfisa is a straight up bunny boiler. 

This reveal made me respect Alla and lose what little regard I had for sad sack Matt. No Patrick had no right to interrogate Alla and yes, both Alla & Matt has the right to marry for whatever reason. However this will not end well. Isn't Matt the ball of needy neediness who at the beginning of the season  out and out said he craves attention and Needs to be hear 'I Love you' often? Why propose and bring over a woman who you know damn good and well doesn't love you and can't give you the professions of love which are essential to your needy existence? This does also explain his behavior and insecurity surrounding Alla wanting to go out to clubs with girls. His fear is that she will meet and fall in love with someone else since she isn't in love with him. Good luck with that. Also, explains Alla always saying that the K1 was an opportunity for her and her son. 

Anfisa which is it? Do you not give one single fuck about Jorge, not want to be around him and only want his money OR are you a crazy stalker bitch who doesn't want him to go to work to make the $$ you crave, needs to call him 3,000 times a day, send 5,000 text messages and activate the app on his phone to know where he is at all times? Both just don't work unless you have a split personality! 

Nice to see can't boil water Anfisa put together a cereal breakfast without burning the place up.

Speaking of Homer, why does Jorge get the 'just hit over the head with a billy club' blank stare every time a saleswoman tells him the price of a ring. 

Co-signing everyone with regards to dumb ass Jorge. Pull over to deal with crazy or you know just change your passwords and don't give them to Anfisa. Killing other motorists and turning pedestrians into street pizza because you imported crazy? GTFOH! When Anfisa buries his remains in a drum I want have one single damn to give. I'll just sit back and wait for the Snapped special. And it won't be one of those abridged half hour episodes either. It will be a full hour or more and brought to you with limited interruption by GM because the shit is gonna be crazy. I guarantee!

Narkiya and Lowo's Vietnam reunion makes me wish that country had laws against affection in public. Ewww, she ate his chicken skin! 

[poeticlicensed]

As Jorge was buying that diamond for Anfisa, all I kept thinking was uh oh, isn't this the same Anfisa that was eyeing 3-5 karat rings that cost 150-300K? That diamond he bought looked to be about a carat or so and the total was 11K. Methinks Anfisa is not going to be happy with that. But in Anfisa's defense, it must be fucking boring to sit around all day, hence the calling and pinging. And Jorge has done zilch to introduce her to people for her to spend time with. She doesn't strike me as the kind who will be happy with puttering around the house, doing chores and cooking Jorge's dinner. Also, with the phone calls, why doesn't he just reject her calls? I don't get it.  

[DangerousMinds]

Or just turn off his phone? It's that easy.

[Major Bigtime]

9 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

Or just turn off his phone? It's that easy.

Easier still, change his password. Which I think he'd do if production wasn't telling him and Anfisa to amp up the drama. I really hope he's not that stupid.

[Drogo]

"Find My iPhone" isn't a call that can be rejected, it's a locator app that's supposed to be used for finding your own phone when it's lost.  I'm pretty sure that Jorge responds to her and doesn't shut it off because if he doesn't, she'll just erase/deactivate his phone again and it will be a paperweight.  Because she has all of his information and passwords.  He is an idiot. 

[Landlord]

17 minutes ago, poeticlicensed said:

As Jorge was buying that diamond for Anfisa, all I kept thinking was uh oh, isn't this the same Anfisa that was eyeing 3-5 karat rings that cost 150-300K? That diamond he bought looked to be about a carat or so and the total was 11K. Methinks Anfisa is not going to be happy with that. But in Anfisa's defense, it must be fucking boring to sit around all day, hence the calling and pinging. And Jorge has done zilch to introduce her to people for her to spend time with. She doesn't strike me as the kind who will be happy with puttering around the house, doing chores and cooking Jorge's dinner. Also, with the phone calls, why doesn't he just reject her calls? I don't get it.  

No one can make me believe that even without a car, there is fuck all to do in Los Angeles. She's not chained to the stove (not that she'd know what do do there if she was), no one's stopping her from exploring the neighborhood on her own. 

[nlkm9]

2 hours ago, MrSmith said:

No, it turned out to be "clever" editing on the part of the producers to make it look that way in the previews.

Also, has anyone else noticed that they run an expanded version of the previous week's episode immediately before the current week's episode? We caught the last 18 minutes or so of the expanded episode and it had footage that hadn't been aired last week. For example, there was footage of Alla's bachelorette party. This kind of stuff really irritates me because I feel like if they can show this footage during a regular one hour episode the week after the episode originally aired, then why can't they just show it during the original airing? Why do I have to sit and watch their episode a second time? Of course, I'll now be taping the expanded episodes..... So, their ruse obviously works. Though, I'll be DVR'ing it and skipping all the garbage I already saw.

yeah, i thought I had lost my mind because i did not remember alla's bachlorette party-Ill just tune in a few minutes early next week.

[poeticlicensed]

10 minutes ago, Landlord said:

No one can make me believe that even without a car, there is fuck all to do in Los Angeles. She's not chained to the stove (not that she'd know what do do there if she was), no one's stopping her from exploring the neighborhood on her own. 

Remember this is Anfisa. She has no interest in exploring her neighborhood. Now if Jorge gave her a big wad of cash each morning, she could hire a car service to take her shopping and she probably would lay off the iphone for a little while. 

[Pepper Mostly]

6 hours ago, mamadrama said:

 

I actually applauded Alla for saying that. To  me, she was not saying that she doesn't love Matt, she was saying that love (to her) is something that builds up over a course of many years and takes a long time to develop. It reminds me of the following exchange from the play THE HEIRESS. 

Morris: Is it possible to offer more than the most tender affection and a lifelong devotion?

Dr. Sloper: A lifelong devotion is measured after the fact; and meanwhile it is usual in these cases to give a few material securities.

All to often we are quick to say that we "love" people or are "in love with them." True love, in my opinion, comes with time and daily living with the other person. I've been with my husband for many years. In the beginning I said I "loved" him. However, it's NOTHING compared to the feelings I have almost 20 years later. In fact, when I look back on those early years I am not sure I even knew what love was. Infatuation? Yes. Desire? Yes. Maybe even obsession. But the real love came much later. And we are definitely stronger. 

This is what I think Alla means. 

I agree. Some people are reserved. Alla has never struck me as a dissembler.

3 hours ago, trimthatfat said:

I feel like Western culture is very much obsessed with the idea of love and the word love. Many people marry and claim they love one another and then 10 years later, they are embroiled in a bitter divorce. Alla seems to have a more practical approach - she cares about Matt, she uprooted herself and her son for a life here, and she's been quite amicable since she arrived. Matt has been married 3 times so clearly that love wasn't enough to keep those relationships afloat. I was annoyed that Alla had to stand up for herself to get Patrick to shut up and leave; it's like Matt was afraid to say anything to Patrick. If even Patrick's girlfriend is appalled by his behavior, Matt should have felt confident enough to tell Patrick to go fuck himself.

Patrick has absolutely no business speaking to Alla the way he did! Its Matt's life, and Alla's. Patrick sitting there sounding like a contestant on the Bachelor was ridiculous. "I want to make sure you're doing this for the right reasons" Meaning "reasons I, Patrick, deem correct and appropriate". Take a seat, Patrick. I was yelling at Matt "tell him to back off already!" Patrick has certainly done his share of huffing, flouncing off, and whining petulantly throughout this season. He seems to regard Matt as some sort of brain damaged kindergartner, not a friend and peer. Why is he so invested? and really, who gives a damn? Flounce off all you want. Don't go to the wedding. No one is going to be crying into his or her pillow over it. Jesus.

 

1 hour ago, TeapotWakeen said:

I thought when she said she "may never" tell him she loves him that it was in the context of "who knows how long we'll live? I could be gone (dead) in 3 years"? Or am I confusing multiple conversations? Again, I think she is talking more about saying the words than her feelings. I came from a family where I don't think I ever heard my mom or dad say "I love you" to me, but I knew they did. Those words were just not used. And I've been in relationships where the words were thrown around a lot, but the actions just weren't there.  I think that Americans focus on the words (generalizing!!), and other cultures focus on the actions that go with loving someone.

I agree with this. Alla seems to be pragmatic and sensible--she's not sentimental. She also appears to be kind and truthful, which are excellent qualities and probably just what Matt needs in his life, since his friends are boorish louts and his mother, bless her, is a sparkly unicorn who worships the ground he walks on.

 

32 minutes ago, sleepyjean said:

Patrick isn't doing anything to help anybody. He a "right fighter." He just wants to be right. And he wants everyone to acknowledge it. And when the relationship doesn't work out, he will be the first to say "I told you so." I don't think any of his behavior comes from caring about Matt. I actually don't think he likes Matt very much at all.

Bingo.

Narkiya and Lowo have me scratching my head. What does she see in him?? I can practically smell the sleaze coming off him through my TV. He is just gross to me, not handsome, not charming, not witty, NOT sexy. What does he have that makes a woman jump on a plane and go halfway around the world in pursuit of him? And then he wastes no time in trying to smack her into her "place", getting all huffy when she has the audacity to question him. She should run like the wind from this dirtball.

Chantel is driving me around the bend. She is in no way ready to marry anyone. What a whiny spoiled crybaby. She's unprepared, didn't have a plan b, apparently believes that a beautiful fancy wedding will appear fully formed out of the air by wishing, and refuses to take any responsibility for her foolish lying. I give up. I like Pedro and I think he should run back to DR. Asap.