S04.E04: Honeymoons, Part 1

[Evil Queen]

Something I haven't seen mentioned but during the THs it looks like Lily is reading from a script. If you watch closely she will glance down at some point to the side in it and then look up continuing what she is saying. I haven't noticed if this went on in the past seasons and was trying to watch the others but so far hadn't noticed it. I started wondering if the second its editing and the voice is over the scene if they are reading from the script as well so they edit it just so. LOL It just came off awkward like

Nick doesn't come off shy to me at all. He just isn't in to her from what I see in that way. Its one thing to take stuff slow and they should on this show but come one. If you like someone its not the same as saying love and no reason to be the way he was in that bed with her. I would have felt the way she did on that whole issue. I hate when someone says you don't need to get it. Why wouldn't she need to? These are 2 people I could see being friends but nothing more than that. 

Derek's tats are just ugly and odd. That would be a turn off right there IMO and I don't mind tats. Heck if I did I wouldn't be married to my husband. But Derek's are eewww. His voice bugs me so much. Its whiny and nasal like. I know Sonia's bugs some people but heck I rather here her voice over his. 

2 minutes ago, Lola16 said:

Lol. What is that last one? A slice of pizza holding hands with Sponge Bob?

LMAO That is what I was wondering too. I was looking at it like is that a badly done Sponge Bob or what? Then the pizza? Who puts a tattoo of pizza on themselves? Maybe he was high when he did them all. LOL 

[Enero]

1 hour ago, Evil Queen said:

 

Nick doesn't come off shy to me at all. He just isn't in to her from what I see in that way. Its one thing to take stuff slow and they should on this show but come one...These are 2 people I could see being friends but nothing more than that. 

Derek's tats are just ugly and odd. That would be a turn off right there IMO and I don't mind tats. Heck if I did I wouldn't be married to my husband. But Derek's are eewww. His voice bugs me so much. Its whiny and nasal like. I know Sonia's bugs some people but heck I rather here her voice over his. 

 

I'm new to this show. I was watching another show on A&E. That went off and was followed by this show. I was intrigued. So I continued watching. 

Though I think Sonia and Nick are cute, I have to agree. I can't see their relationship developing beyond friendship. 

Both Derrick and Heather are annoying. I'm especially turned off by his tattoos and squinty eyes. Their "fight" on the balcony was completely fake and staged. I mean what couple argues/ disagrees like that in real life? He says something. She quietly listens. She states her case. He quietly listens. Totally staged. 

BTW, I hate the "wifey/hubby" t- shirts. 

I'm not sure what to think about Lillian and Tom. They had sex. So I guess there is some connection there but there doesn't seem to be much more to them at this point. 

I don't think any of these couples will make it. Has any couple from previous seasons went on to have a successful marriage beyond the lights and cameras?

Despite my skepticism about the realism of the show I do find it fascinating to watch.

Edited August 18, 2016 by Enero

[Drogo]

As a subject matter expert, I believe that horrible tattoo is of a pizza and a beer mug holding hands.

[Evil Queen]

50 minutes ago, Enero said:

I don't think any of these couples will make it. Has any couple from previous seasons went on to have a successful marriage beyond the lights and cameras?

Despite my skepticism about the realism of the show I do find it fascinating to watch.

The first season had 2 couples and that was it. One of which included a one of the girls (Jamie Otis) from the Bachelor. She is who is doing that Unflitered. The only real couple I see though from it all is Jason and Cortney from the first season. The Jamie and Doug one....well that is a whole other story for most of us. LOL 

Drogo, thanks for pointing out the Sponge Beer Bob Mug LOL

Edited August 18, 2016 by Evil Queen

[Snewtsie]

I find Derek's tattoos amusing, and think they show he has a great sense of humor.

[Vinyasa]

Quote

Derek's tats are just ugly and odd. That would be a turn off right there IMO and I don't mind tats.

I think he has a fairly nice body (Nick looked better on the paddle board and something about Tom creeps me out) but why would he tattoo it?

That had to be painful.

[Lola16]

1 hour ago, Drogo said:

As a subject matter expert, I believe that horrible tattoo is of a pizza and a beer mug holding hands.

That makes a little more sense I suppose. My next guess was pizza and a smiling grilled cheese.  Any MJ tats? Kinda hard to criticize someone for drinking when you've got a frosty cold one smiling on your arm.

[Paddywagon]

Let's say Heather wasn't completely attracted to Derek but didn't find him that bad either so she went through with the wedding.  Next thing she knows, he repeatedly wants to get high but he doesn't think he smokes regularly.  That's a really, really bad first impression.  Then out of all the scenery he chooses to mention the casino but assures her he doesn't gamble regularly.  Then he's leaving clothes and wet towels around the hotel room but says he's a neat person.  He's not really exhibiting a lot of self-awareness.

Then you've got Heather who is a judgmental bitch but I can sorta see her side.  She's done with her partying ways, she's 32 and wants to settle down and bring kids onto the scene.  Derek just isn't showing much potential for fitting in with that.  He's 35 and has given her the impression he's a clueless stoner loser.  Add the fact that she's a know-it-all snob and there ya go...she's already made up her mind about him.

Their argument was the most immature I've seen on this show.  "You're a loser.  "So, YOU'RE an alcoholic."  Neither one knows how to work towards a solution so they need counselor intervention stat.  Or maybe boxing gloves.

They will definitely be bringing the drama this season!

[gingerandcloves]

2 hours ago, Lola16 said:

Lol. What is that last one? A slice of pizza holding hands with Sponge Bob?

Sponge Bob - I love it. I think it's a mug of beer.

[ralph]

21 hours ago, lebleutv said:

BINGO! No one in their right mind would say smoking is no worse than drinking, unless they are referring to marijuana. The producers and cameramen are there for the drama. If cigarettes were involved, they would have made sure to get him on camera doing it. As you said, people smoke at work all the time. They just do it during their breaks outside.

and dropping hints that big...the producers want the audience to know he's smoking weed

[ralph]

14 hours ago, Vinyasa said:

I believe you're right about what Derek is smoking and not showing it on TV.

 Can anyone remember back when Doug smoked? Didn't they show him smoking a cigarette outside?

You asking that made me curious so I looked and FYI actually still has that episode available to watch on the site (http://www.fyi.tv/shows/married-at-first-sight/season-1/episode-8) the Doug smoking thing starts at 7:50 BUT here's the interesting news, while Doug was never shown smoking a cigarette (because it happened during a time when they weren't filming)...the words "ashtray", and "cigarette" were used LOTS. Again, one of the main reasons I think Derek was smoking weed because when they talk about it, the word "cigarette" or words like "ashtray" or "pack" weren't used.

Edited August 18, 2016 by ralph

[gingerandcloves]

1 hour ago, Paddywagon said:

Let's say Heather wasn't completely attracted to Derek but didn't find him that bad either so she went through with the wedding.  Next thing she knows, he repeatedly wants to get high but he doesn't think he smokes regularly.  That's a really, really bad first impression.  Then out of all the scenery he chooses to mention the casino but assures her he doesn't gamble regularly.  Then he's leaving clothes and wet towels around the hotel room but says he's a neat person.  He's not really exhibiting a lot of self-awareness.

Then you've got Heather who is a judgmental bitch but I can sorta see her side.  She's done with her partying ways, she's 32 and wants to settle down and bring kids onto the scene.  Derek just isn't showing much potential for fitting in with that.  He's 35 and has given her the impression he's a clueless stoner loser.  Add the fact that she's a know-it-all snob and there ya go...she's already made up her mind about him.

Their argument was the most immature I've seen on this show.  "You're a loser.  "So, YOU'RE an alcoholic."  Neither one knows how to work towards a solution so they need counselor intervention stat.  Or maybe boxing gloves.

They will definitely be bringing the drama this season!

Yes to all of this. SO immature. I posted more over in the media thread about the whole pot-smoking thing because there was an interesting quote in one of the recaps of the show.

[MsPH]

Oh I'm positive it's weed they were talking about. Too many things pointing at it, Derek saying some people find it no worse than alcohol, saying Heather is from the 40s since she finds it such a big deal (pretty sure smoking cigarettes was the thing to do back then) and saying he can't do it when he's working. None of that makes sense if it's about cigarettes.

I do see why Heather is put off by it and I would be too. It's clearly a big part of Derek's life if he's willing to do it with his new wife and a camera crew around especially since it's illegal. I don't think he'd take the risk unless it was a pretty strong habit. I wouldn't want to deal with it either, but the same applies to excessive alcohol use for me. I just don't like how Heather brought the issue up. She was pretty disrespectful and it came off as an attack rather than an attempt to change the situation. It's clear she thinks she's above Derek in most ways. She sees his faults or imagined faults and that's it. He is not worthy of her joyless neurotic presence since he smokes weed, doesn't mind living out of a suitcase for a few days and acknowledges a casino while driving past it. I just don't like people who are so black and white and think they're above others. I was like that too, when I was a teenager. Most people start seeing shades of grey as they get older, yet 30-something Heather seems stuck on judging and categorising people. It's even less attractive than smoking weed.

It's cute how into each other Tom and Lillian are, but his insecurities about his living situation are annoying. He seems defensive about it already before even telling her, so I don't know if any reaction from her apart from delight will be enough to satisfy him.

I like Sonya and Nick. Her way of speaking is grating, but she seems like a sweet person, so I can overlook it. I think he does like her, but he's just super awkward socially and scared of leading her on. Hopefully they'll fall for each other and make it work, because they seem the most mature out of the couples.

[lazylou]

At least all three of these couples seem to be normal human beings, which has not always been the case!

Weed or tobacco?  Who knows...I would guess after reading all the comments that it was weed, but then you have to wonder if he has brought it in his suitcase or located it in PR.  Either way, if she objects to smoking she should have said so.  If he is smoking tobacco once a day, that is "occasional" ... but once a day with weed seems frequent or habitual, except of course for the vacation aspect.

[zxy556575]

43 minutes ago, MsPH said:

He is not worthy of her joyless neurotic presence...

That made me unattractively snort-laugh!

I try to give the casting agents/producers/experts the benefit of the doubt with regard to selecting the participants because people present themselves very differently when they're trying to make an impression as opposed to when they're disengaged and emotionally shut down. But even during the casting special, Heather was unsmiling and self-contained. A pursed-lip, unbending snoot is absolutely the worst type of personality for this show and the producers need to stop it already with that.

[Snarklepuss]

Tom is acting like one of those self-absorbed selfish guys who wants his life to continue to go on as-is without any changes after marriage.  His woman will have to live in his carefree bachelor pad and be on board with the bohemian lifestyle because it's all about him and his lifestyle, which he is unwilling to give up in order to enter into a new stage of life.  He needed a backhoe to dig himself out of the pile he made for himself with that stupid "materialistic" comment.  He was essentially saying, "I think people who own expensive cars are materialistic", to which Lily essentially replied, "I own an expensive car do you think I'm materialistic?"  To which asshole basically said, "Oh, present company excluded, of course".  Not buying it!  What a load of horse manure!  Did Lily actually buy that because she is so infatuated with him?  This is how women fall in love with the wrong guy!

Lillian is the poster child for why the women on this show who are older than she is most often hold back before jumping all-in and becoming infatuated so soon.  I can't help but think there may be a train wreck coming about the bus.  I can't tell if the show is trying to make that into an issue when it will blow over or whether it will be the thing that does that relationship in.  Hopefully Tom will be willing to compromise.  I don't really want to think he's the way he's coming off right now, and I don't really want to see Lily get her heart broken.

[Jack Sampson]

Tom and Lillian:

Tom seems like a normal dude as the show progresses.  I'm thinking the bus thing is being played up as faux-conflict.

Lillian...Lillian seems nice, reasonably joyful, not jaded like most of the other women this show finds.  I don't find her attractive.  She gives me a Princess Fiona from Shrek vibe.  Fiona found love too so maybe I'm just being an ass.

Nick and Sonia:

Nick seems like a decent guy, moderately handsome[snip], in good shape - but he's awkward as hell.  If he spent 6 months hanging with my crew he'd be so personable he wouldn't give a woman like Sonia a second glace. 

Sonia.  A. After seeing her in a swimsuit - a flattering one - I stand by my earlier comment that she's chubby.  B. This woman is a crazy person.  She goes from laughing to crying and back in minutes.  She's "enraged" at his comment that things are progressing at a good pace.  It's exhausting.  No wonder she can't find a man, no one is going to put up with that constant nonsense - especially if, as Pepper said, she wants a man to finance her lifestyle.  Then she starts with her half-baked psychobabble about needing to process her rage before she speaks.  No one is ever going to give a damn about your feels if you can't keep even slight control over yourself.  Rein it in, psycho.   

Derek and Heather:

Derek's tattoos tell a bizarre story.  Did I see Batman and Superman doing sex yoga?  His reaction to being told it's too much smoking (weed, tobacco, meth, bath salts (it's Florida after all)) sounds like a teenager being caught.  "It's not a problem!"  "I have it under control!" "Oh yeah?  Well you're an alcoholic!" {storms off}.  Dude needs to reevaluate. 

Heather is soulless, joyless and jaded.  I find nothing attractive or redeeming about her.  And she comments that she wouldn't give him a second date - as if her company is something men should desire.  Even so, she has a point about the smoking but she needs to say, "Look jerkoff, occasionally is twice a month, not twice before your morning deuce."

Edited August 18, 2016 by Drogo

[biakbiak]

Derek's tattoos tell a bizarre story.  Did I see Batman and Superman doing sex yoga?

It's Superman helping Batman do a lifted Superman pose by Phil Jones. You can literally by phone cases, tshirts, and mugs with the same design. Hell he isn't even the only person who has it as a tattoo.

[Sunnyside]

20 hours ago, SaucyMommy said:

I agree with all of this. I hate when they throw around "Stranger".  A stranger is someone you haven't had a conversation with - after 5 days of solid time together - you don't know everything about one another - but you are no longer strangers.

Exactly!

[jamblastx]

As much as Blonde Ashley (Heather) is as Jack Sampson accurately describes 'soulless, joyless, and jaded', I am finding more and more that I am agreeing with her about the smoking if it is in fact pot.  And not because that Whiny Squintoculous  (Derek) smokes weed, but because he felt it necessary to do so on multiple occasions on their first few days together.  Yes it may not be who he is on a 'normal' basis as he states, but it is the first impression that he decided to give to Heather.

And quite frankly I am not buying that he does not smoke regularly.  As I said in a previous post, he either risked committing a serious felony by bringing it with him or took the risk of buying it illegally in a place that he has never been to.  If he was such an occasional smoker, then he could have held off the five days that they were on their honeymoon.

And without a specific reference point, 'occasional smoker' can mean two very different things to different people.  To Heather it may be once a month and to Derek it could be once a day.  I had a close friend who was on the way of going from a drinker to an alcoholic but he would never admit to anyone that his drinking was increasing and that he may have had an issue.  He was making the same statements that Derek was stating (in his case it was 'I had a tough week so yeah I like to drink a little on the weekends' where 'a little' was a bottle of Jack Daniels a day and the 'weekend' went from Wednesday through Sunday).  And he was also as defensive as Derek when someone would call him out on it.

[Snarklepuss]

I don't much like Heather either and under normal circumstances I'd be saying she was being too judgmental, but not about potential pot smoking if that is what she's talking about.  It certainly seems so based on the context of their conversations in this episode.  A deal breaker is a deal breaker, and Heather took a big risk going into this to have her hopes let down so hard and so fast. 

I don't care how "nice" Derek supposedly is.  If it is pot smoking they're talking about, I question how nice a guy is that would misrepresent his habit and then act like she should just be OK with it.  Especially when it could land him and possibly HER in jail.  I'm not from the 1940s - I don't give a rat's rear end if he does weed or cigarettes or how ethical it is, it's just not my thing to be around it.  I quit cigarette smoking decades ago - I don't need to get a contact high from my SO's smoke, not to mention how filthy I think smoking in general is and what it does to your house, your car, etc.  Plus, I dated a pot smoker in college and IMO he was so dependent on it that I had to break up with him - and I was devastated because at the time I thought he was "the one".  I just could not live with a man whose life was ruled by a substance.  This guy could not get through any part of the day without a joint.  I'm sorry but I saw that as a flaw in his character.  Knowing what I know about him today I made the right decision.  I would never have lived with that or someone who lived that kind of lifestyle.  I would not expect anyone to live with me if I were dependent on anything, smoking, drugs, alcohol, gambling, anything.  I would understand that it's not for them and find someone who was OK with it. 

In this case I can't even blame Heather because I think Derek misrepresented his usage.  I understand that's not a popular opinion because he seems so "nice" otherwise.  But this is how women get themselves involved with guys who have "fatal flaws".  He's nice in every other way BUT he's got this one issue or habit I can't live with - That will NEVER work.  And I don't think it's fair to expect Heather to change her feelings about this just because he seems so "nice" (which we don't even know yet, he could still have skeletons in his closet).  Plus I think she's entitled not to want to be with someone who smokes that much without being called judgmental.  Guaranteed she thought "occasionally" means only at big parties a few times a year, not several times a DAY.  I can't find fault with her for misjudging that.  It was a bullshit question if you ask me - VERY poorly designed.  This show never ceases to amaze me on how unprofessional it is.  They should KNOW that hardcore dependent users always underestimate how often they do things.  To them "occasional" is only a few times a day!

I think Heather probably thinks Derek's like guys she's known before who were users.  And I don't blame her based on what she said he did.  I'd be thinking he was probably as dependent as my college love.  It would be awfully hard for me to take a step back and give him another chance.  I would be like, "NEXT"!!!  And I'm not even as jaded and judgmental as Heather seems to be though I'm close to twice her age.  What a horrible disappointment.  I feel for her even though I don't like her and thought her "classy" statement was insulting and off the mark.  But I can understand her not expressing herself well given how upset she was at the time.

[Snarklepuss]

12 minutes ago, jamblastx said:

And quite frankly I am not buying that he does not smoke regularly.  As I said in a previous post, he either risked committing a serious felony by bringing it with him or took the risk of buying it illegally in a place that he has never been to.  If he was such an occasional smoker, then he could have held off the five days that they were on their honeymoon.

ITA.  My theory is that he uses the smoking to calm nerves and I'm sure the stress of the very unusual situation he was in was causing him to need to smoke more at the time than usual.  That's why his defense was that he was smoking more because it was a special situation.  But let's face it, if he increases his usage every time life hands him a stressful situation, he's still smoking more than he is admitting to, and he's more dependent than he wants to think he is - Especially if he would do it in THIS situation.  As I said in the post I posted a few seconds after yours, hardcore dependent users of anything (even alcohol, etc.) often underestimate the extent of their usage or dependence.  Like the smokers who say "I can quit any time I want to" - Yeah, riiiiiiiight.....

Edited August 18, 2016 by Snarklepuss

[Koda1969]

Well, I'm going to confess that I haven't yet watched this episode because I'm dealing with a sewage issue at my mom's house that has kept me occupied the last few days. But, since last season, I've almost enjoyed reading the banter and recaps on here more.

That said, based on the previews from last episode and the discussion here, I wanted to just add a couple of my thoughts. As always, this is IMHO.

On the smoking thing. Well, I am a smoker and so is my husband (cigarettes only). We don't smoke in our house. Oftentimes in the evening, I'll be in the home office working he'll be in the family room watching television, and one of us will get up and call to the other "smoke?". We don't refer to it as cigs or cigarettes or anything like that. My husband will call me sometimes on the way home from work and say "I need to stop at the store to pick up smokes". Could it be weed as some are guessing, maybe...but since TPTB are doing their best to maximize drama with it, I think my brain would explode trying to decipher the snippets of clues. The whole ocassional versus often, I do feel that if she really did have an issue with smoking, she should have been VERY adamant that it was a deal breaker...period. I don't classify how much I smoke. I smoke. Period.

As for Heather, I honestly feel that since day one, she checked out. Maybe her face just isn't "emotive" but she never seemed to really let loose. Which, I should stress, is fine. She shouldn't have to change for someone, just like the others shouldn't have to. But where I find fault (and disappointment) is that she seems to be standing back, analyzing every little thing and in her head saying "yep, this isn't going to work".

As someone approaching 50, and trust me, having had my share of 43 years of bad relationships (including a marriage to an abusive alcoholic) the hardest thing to do when you really DO want a good relationship is to finally accept that you don't know everything (if you did, you'd obviously be in a happy relationship). That entails loosening the deal breakers and/or giving something/someone a chance. Maybe Derek isn't Mr. Right...but to me, it seems she just hasn't even tried and she made up her mind the minute she laid eyes on him.

The reason this bothers me, is that regardless of this experiment or not, no good relationship can be built on one person constantly scrutinizing as well as being dead certain in what they know they want/need. Had Heather given things a chance, but still wasn't feeling it, then I'd at least not feel like she wasn't trying. What you think you want is not necessarily what you need.

Again, this is my opinion, but as I said, based on a lifetime of bad relationships. It wasn't until I was 43 and listened to a relationship expert who basically kicked me in the butt and told me to stop with all the lists of what I wanted and really focus on character. Well, go figure..the minute I did that and truly did date a man who had the character qualities I wanted, poof..I met my soul mate! Yes, totally cheesy...but true. My husband is not perfect by a long shot, neither am I..but you know what, we laugh at each other in regards to the things we are different about. But, where it matters (sticking by each other and supporting each other) we are both there for each other. So, because of that, we don't nitpick the stupid stuff. Heather, I feel, thought she wanted this (experiment) but she still isn't getting out of the old mode of thinking she knows who and what are right for her.

[seasick]

lt would bother me if I thought my match was going to be getting high everyday.  It would also bother me if I had a match who drank (more than one) everyday.

Derek said he was in 'vacation mode' and I'm assuming the amount of drinking Heather did was 'vacation mode' too.   If Derek said he does not normally use during the week I think heather should have taken his word for it and waited to see how things shook out when they went on to daily life at home.

I'm sure of this; If Heather was very attracted to Derek I GUARANTEE her approach would have been Way different.  And saying  "I am so turned-off". is such a Baaad choice of words.  Saying that something 'bothers you' or concerns you is one thing'  Saying you are so 'turned-off' by someone is really a death knell to a relationship.   And it was so unfair because in reality she is not turned-on by him-- so claiming that his lack of neatness, smoking pot or his interest in gambling etc are the 'turn-offs' is bullshit.  

I think Derek wanted to roll his eyes when Heather said  she's "a little neurotic and is always straightening things and she likes things orderly"   Although people like that will pretend to temper it by saying they are 'neurotic' or 'anal'  they rarely Act as though the issue is on them.  They're usually critical and self-righteous about habits that don't meet Their standards. If Derek had said    "I find that kind of focus on small things a "turn-off"' it would have been hurtful and a low-blow.  

I like the fact that Derek stood up to her.  He did try to have her understand that there would be conflicts and that they would have to expect  to work them out but she went right back to her place of his habits (smoking) being intolerable.   Her approach is so critical.  If she had said 'would you mind taking it down a bit while we'e here--I feel like I'm not seeing the real you" or whatever --I think he would have done it.  

She is self-righteous about her opinions and although his attack on her drinking wasn't the best 'confict resolution' approach sometimes the only way to get through to those types is to point out that they also have habits that someone else could find annoying or offensive. And yes it devistates them because they cannot believe they have flaws too that someone else might be quietly tolerating or looking past for the greater good. She cares more about being 'Right' and getting her way than the marriage so her comment about "you said this marriage is the most important thing"--that door swings both ways.  

This relationship is doomed.  I'm glad Derek stood up for himself and realizes he's in a no-win situation with her and accepts that SHE is a "turn off" and let's it go.

[Jellybeans]

Heather and Derick- why were they picked?  She has a drinking problem and he apparently uses pot illegally.  Both of them are poor selections for anyone.

[seasick]

7 minutes ago, Jellybeans said:

Heather and Derick- why were they picked?  She has a drinking problem and he apparently uses pot illegally.  Both of them are poor selections for anyone.

I'm not sure I would say that Heather has a drinking problem.  YMMV.  And believe me,  I know that throwing an umbrella in a drink doesn't change anything and can only defers suspicion for awhile.  I guess we'll see.  I would guess in today's climate the question of drugs came up and I don't doubt that someone would be honest and say they used pot occasionally,  I believe their profiles matched up in that respect.  

I think someone with 2 or 3 drinks in them has a personality change to the same degree that a joint would have. (of course  the change can vary, esp. w alcohol)  (I've done both.  I don't think you see the sober 'real' personality in either scenerio. )  I think Derek has a point.   But 90% of the problem is that she's just not into him.  

[bichonblitz]

I don't think Heather is referring to weed because how would he get through airport security and why would he take that risk? At this point, I believe it's cigs and Heather is just a bitch. 

Lillian was none too happy when Tom was having his "materialistic" speech. She couldn't wait to remind him that she drives an expensive luxury car. They are on opposite ends of the spectrum as far as values are concerned. It's going to be interesting to see where this relationship goes. 

I can't believe how good looking Nick is and I didn't notice it before. He's a weird, quirky one, though.  

Edited August 18, 2016 by bichonblitz

[Madding crowd]

I didn't like Nick's response to Sonia saying she liked him. If saying you like your husband is going too fast, how will they ever get to a husband/wife relationship. I know lots of quiet people but Nick gives off a 'thinks he better than you' vibe. I like Sonia though even with her insecurities. Tom and Lily seem a little too close for complete strangers and I think they will have issues over values. They do seem like they really like each other though, so there is that.

Heather seems like a pill, but Derek is no prize either. I keep hearing about the questionnaire and Heather being dishonest, but maybe she was just saying what she feels. I am horribly allergic to smoke but my husband has an occasional cigar. By occasional, it is once or twice a year at a social event. So, if I were asked the question maybe I would also say yes to occasional, not thinking it means everyday. I am in the camp that believes Derek is smoking weed and I also believe it can in some cases be more mind altering than sipping on a fruity drink. I also see nothing unusual about having some drinks on your honeymoon. Most people who are social drinkers would think that is ok. Of course if you don't drink alcohol at all you would probably request someone who is also a non-drinker. I don't think Heather handled it well and I didn't like her comment about the casino or being messy, but the smoking I give her a pass on. 

[Liberty]

So many things wrong in this episode, so many...

Sad to watch poser Schwartz continue to term the show an "experiment".  Clearly some participants see the 6 week marriage 'experiment" as if it were tasting ice cream at BR rather than 'til death do us part. 

[Neurochick]

8 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

Sonia.  A. After seeing her in a swimsuit - a flattering one - I stand by my earlier comment that she's chubby. 

I don't know if I'd call Sonia chubby.  Sometimes I think people have grown too used to seeing size 00 women with 38DD breasts, as normal.  So anything else is "chubby" and "overweight."  

[Empress1]

42 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

I don't think Heather is referring to weed because how would he get through airport security and why would he take that risk? At this point, I believe it's cigs and Heather is just a bitch.  

As other have said, weed is really easy to find. He could have gotten it there. Hell, I watched an episode of Dr. Phil where he was trying to help sibling addicts and they had used heroin (drug of choice) that morning. Dr. Phil asked where they'd gotten it (they'd flown to the show) and they were like, "we just went outside the hotel and asked somebody."

I agree that Tom doesn't seem to get that when you're married, your lifestyle changes - and I don't necessarily mean that if you get married, you automatically convert to living in the suburbs and driving a minivan. (Both sides of my family have only ever lived in cities - my grandmother never learned to drive - so I know that's not true.) But you can't get married and carry on as though you're still single - you're required to take someone else's feelings into account. Tom takes it as a given that they'll live on his bus and maybe Lily is down with that, but it appears that he hasn't even considered any kind of compromise in case she isn't. He also believes that anyone who doesn't live his "minimalist" lifestyle is less than, and looking down on people isn't an attractive quality. And really, as a realtor, Lily kind of can't live that lifestyle because part of what she's selling is the image of success, and that looks a certain way. 

Edited August 18, 2016 by Empress1

[Neurochick]

3 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I agree that Tom doesn't seem to get that when you're married, your lifestyle changes - and I don't necessarily mean that if you get married, you automatically convert to living in the suburbs and driving a minivan. (Both sides of my family have only ever lived in cities - my grandmother never learned to drive - so I know that's not true.) But you can't get married and carry on as though you're still single - you're required to take someone else's feelings into account. Tom takes it as a given that they'll live on his bus and maybe Lily is down with that, but it appears that he hasn't even considered any kind of compromise in case she isn't. He also believes that anyone who doesn't live his "minimalist" lifestyle is less than, and looking down on people isn't an attractive quality. And really, as a realtor, Lily kind of can't live that lifestyle because part of what she's selling is the image of success, and that looks a certain way. 

I wonder if the "experts" asked Tom if he'd consider leaving the bus for a spouse.  Sean from season 2 said that yes, he'd move for a spouse and then freaked out when he had to move to NYC with Davina.  

[jamblastx]

The whole 'Minimalist' thing irks me to no end...even when Tom backed off his statement about a fancy car not making a person happy and being materialistic when he realized he offended Lily, it was his attitude that 'oh its ok you drive a Lexus for work purposes but you really don't enjoy it'.  Sorry Tom, some people do like a Lexus and it makes them happy just like some people like living on a bus.  But I guarantee that Lily would be more agreeable in 'downsizing' to a Camry than Tom is to living anything other than his bus....even if its more modest and more 'minimalist'  As I have said before, he is absolutely materialistic.

Edited August 18, 2016 by jamblastx

[crazychicken]

Tom was giving me douche vibes with his talk about the Lexus with Lilly, he knew what car she drove yet still used a nice car as an example. Since we was talking in context to bus dwelling even though Lilly has no idea that was the context he could have used a house as an example, like a couple needing to live in a McMansion with 5 bedrooms, 3 living areas etc just to keep up appearances while drowning in debt. To me that a reference she would have taken better as it probably something that she sees in her work. Then when she takes offense the condescending attitude the oh I did not mean you just every other person in Miami was a dick move that he should have been called on. To me it looked like he is used to trying to talk away his foot in mouth disease and if they do not swallow his bulldust he blames the woman for being materialistic.

Tom claims to design luxury yachts so if he is so jaded by the materialism in Miami maybe it is time he changed jobs since the very people he seems to loathe are the people he deals with.

 

I detest all the Hubby & Wifey gear this year, the tshirts, the cups, the thongs it's like they went into a tacky $2 store and bought up big. On that note when Derek & Heather sat down for breakfast I thought this

was way more appropriate because I am incredibly mature.

[seasick]

35 minutes ago, Madding crowd said:

I didn't like Nick's response to Sonia saying she liked him. If saying you like your husband is going too fast, how will they ever get to a husband/wife relationship. I know lots of quiet people but Nick gives off a 'thinks he better than you' vibe. I like Sonia though even with her insecurities. Tom and Lily seem a little too close for complete strangers and I think they will have issues over values. They do seem like they really like each other though, so there is that.

Heather seems like a pill, but Derek is no prize either. I keep hearing aboudishonest, but maybe she was just saying what she feels. I am horribly allergic to smoke but my husband has an occasional cigar. By occasional, it is once or twice a year at a social event. So, if I were asked the question maybe I would also say yes to occasional, not thinking it means everyday. I am in the camp that believes Derek is smoking weed and I also believe it can in some cases be more mind altering than sipping on a fruity drink. I also see nothing unusual about having some drinks on your honeymoon. Most people who are social drinkers would think that is ok. Of course if you don't drink alcohol at all you would probably request someone who is also a non-drinker. I don't think Heather handled it well and I didn't like her comment about the casino or being messy, but the smoking I give her a pass on. t the questionnaire and Heather being

I really didn't think Nick's comment was in direct response to Sonia's comment.  It was sort of a non-sequitur comment I thought.  She directly asked him and he said no--he was just saying...    Now maybe it was a fear that he let slip out, but I still think she made a bit too much of it.  He Said he didn't mean it that way several times.  and she flat-out refused to believe him..which.. is a little problem in itself.  Automatically second-guessing someone or assuming they are lying--esp when you don't know them that well is not right either.  

Ah yes, the purportedly innocent 'fruity drink"  I once got out of a drunk driving ticket years ago by telling the cop "I may have had one too many Pina colada's"  I was drunk off my ass and it wan't on Pina colada's.  But I guess he figured I wasn't much of a serious drinker.  They look innocent but they have just as much alcohol as many other drinks.  If she had been drinking straight shots of rum the impression would be different--effect the same.  I knew how to make my drinking look respectable and innocent.  So we have her 'sipping a fruity drink' while Derek could be taking flight into 'Reefer Madness'  (Boy showing my age there huh : )?  )  Perception isn't everything.  I think both deserve a wait and see.  

I'm getting somestrange error msg...at the bottom of the screen. ??? Let's see if this submits

[Evil Queen]

9 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

Derek's tattoos tell a bizarre story.  Did I see Batman and Superman doing sex yoga?  His reaction to being told it's too much smoking (weed, tobacco, meth, bath salts (it's Florida after all)) sounds like a teenager being caught.  "It's not a problem!"  "I have it under control!" "Oh yeah?  Well you're an alcoholic!" {storms off}.  Dude needs to reevaluate. 

 

4 hours ago, biakbiak said:

 

It's Superman helping Batman do a lifted Superman pose by Phil Jones. You can literally by phone cases, tshirts, and mugs with the same design. Hell he isn't even the only person who has it as a tattoo.

LMAO at that tattoo. I caught it too and was like WTH??? It just is so bad. The fact that others have it too. Oh boy. LOL With Derek's tats are so bad. They don't look nice at all and are just so odd at that. Can you imagine if the dude decides he wanted full sleeves of this junk and what else he would slap on his body? LOL 

4 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:

I don't care how "nice" Derek supposedly is.  If it is pot smoking they're talking about, I question how nice a guy is that would misrepresent his habit and then act like she should just be OK with it.  Especially when it could land him and possibly HER in jail.  I'm not from the 1940s - I don't give a rat's rear end if he does weed or cigarettes or how ethical it is, it's just not my thing to be around it.  I quit cigarette smoking decades ago - I don't need to get a contact high from my SO's smoke, not to mention how filthy I think smoking in general is and what it does to your house, your car, etc.  Plus, I dated a pot smoker in college and IMO he was so dependent on it that I had to break up with him - and I was devastated because at the time I thought he was "the one".  I just could not live with a man whose life was ruled by a substance.  This guy could not get through any part of the day without a joint.  I'm sorry but I saw that as a flaw in his character.  Knowing what I know about him today I made the right decision.  I would never have lived with that or someone who lived that kind of lifestyle.  I would not expect anyone to live with me if I were dependent on anything, smoking, drugs, alcohol, gambling, anything.  I would understand that it's not for them and find someone who was OK with it. 

In this case I can't even blame Heather because I think Derek misrepresented his usage.  I understand that's not a popular opinion because he seems so "nice" otherwise.  But this is how women get themselves involved with guys who have "fatal flaws".  He's nice in every other way BUT he's got this one issue or habit I can't live with - That will NEVER work.  And I don't think it's fair to expect Heather to change her feelings about this just because he seems so "nice" (which we don't even know yet, he could still have skeletons in his closet).  Plus I think she's entitled not to want to be with someone who smokes that much without being called judgmental.  Guaranteed she thought "occasionally" means only at big parties a few times a year, not several times a DAY.  I can't find fault with her for misjudging that.  It was a bullshit question if you ask me - VERY poorly designed.  This show never ceases to amaze me on how unprofessional it is.  They should KNOW that hardcore dependent users always underestimate how often they do things.  To them "occasional" is only a few times a day!

I think Heather probably thinks Derek's like guys she's known before who were users.  And I don't blame her based on what she said he did.  I'd be thinking he was probably as dependent as my college love.  It would be awfully hard for me to take a step back and give him another chance.  I would be like, "NEXT"!!!  And I'm not even as jaded and judgmental as Heather seems to be though I'm close to twice her age.  What a horrible disappointment.  I feel for her even though I don't like her and thought her "classy" statement was insulting and off the mark.  But I can understand her not expressing herself well given how upset she was at the time.

Well said!! For me, from the second I saw him I didn't think nice. I just thought high and nothing more. He sort of creeps me out. There is just something about him besides his being high all the time but I can't put my finger on it. As I said before his voice bugs me. With this though I'd be beyond pissed having been matched with a guy that can't do anything without being high first. I doubt they ask on the application or questionnaires if drug use is ok. Its pathetic of this show and Pepper to make it like she is in the wrong over this all and she said it was ok occasionally but not tell us what it really is. Not everyone gets its weed so they are painting her as the worse person ever this season to those people not seeing what is really going on. These stupid so called "experts" didn't do their job yet again. Even with 2 new ones on board it still ends up the same way as the others with how they match and overlook things. Honestly at some point guys like Derek, who everyone thinks is a "nice guy", does something to show he has a dark side. How would he act if he couldn't get high after so much time goes by? Might just be weed and many think its nothing but there are those that will flip out on not getting high from it if they are addicted to it and use even a few times a day. He is obviously not an occasional user. So how would he have reacted had he not been able to get high first thing in the morning is what I would want to know? I wonder how much more of that talk they had happened that we didn't get to see because of time, editing and maybe what was actually mentioned that it was. 

I will agree with those saying Tom is giving off douche vibes. It isn't always but he does enough times that it bugs. I am not backing done on what I said before on Nick and think. He isn't into Sonia. Which in turn saying he doesn't want things to move to fast is a great way to skip around saying he isn't. Yet as I said I think they would make great friends. Really thinking about it at this point I can't see any of these couples making it at this point with how things are going so far. 

 

seasick, I am getting that same error message as well. Says something about theme may be out of date and run the support tool in AdminCP to restore the default theme

[seasick]

Good to know you're getting the same msg Evil Queen.  I was about to go into my own settings.  Thanks

[stuckin60s]

My only comment on Heather is she has already checked out.  No smoking comments here.  The gambling comments and even the "he is messier than me"  He said he was neat, but preferred to use a suitcase instead of unpacking.  She made a big deal of that.  She wants the drawer he doesn't - why does she care.

She is just looking for anything.  Again, outside the smoking comments, she just isn't interested in a partner

[Madding crowd]

22 minutes ago, seasick said:

I really didn't think Nick's comment was in direct response to Sonia's comment.  It was sort of a non-sequitur comment I thought.  She directly asked him and he said no--he was just saying...    Now maybe it was a fear that he let slip out, but I still think she made a bit too much of it.  He Said he didn't mean it that way several times.  and she flat-out refused to believe him..which.. is a little problem in itself.  Automatically second-guessing someone or assuming they are lying--esp when you don't know them that well is not right either.  

Ah yes, the purportedly innocent 'fruity drink"  I once got out of a drunk driving ticket years ago by telling the cop "I may have had one too many Pina colada's"  I was drunk off my ass and it wan't on Pina colada's.  But I guess he figured I wasn't much of a serious drinker.  They look innocent but they have just as much alcohol as many other drinks.  If she had been drinking straight shots of rum the impression would be different--effect the same.  I knew how to make my drinking look respectable and innocent.  So we have her 'sipping a fruity drink' while Derek could be taking flight into 'Reefer Madness'  (Boy showing my age there huh : )?  )  Perception isn't everything.  I think both deserve a wait and see.  

I'm getting somestrange error msg...at the bottom of the screen. ??? Let's see if this submits

I didn't sayanything about Reefer Madness and I know you can add any number of shots to any drink. Heather though , looked and sounded completely sober to me so I just assumed she is drinking the typical drink you get at resorts which often is weak. Of course if  she is really drinking hurricanes then she must have a strong tolerance. Getting the same weird message.

Edited August 18, 2016 by Madding crowd

[Kiss my mutt]

I agree that Heather would probably overlook an "occasional" pot smoker if  she were into him. FTR, I think Derrick looks like pee wee Herman and he would irritate me too though. I don't have a problem with Heather. I don't think she's close to Ashley territory  

I do think there is somewhat of a difference between having a drink everyday and smoking weed everyday. I can have a glass of wine with dinner but my intention is not to get drunk but if I smoke pot I smoke it to get high. I definitely would prefer an avid pot smoker to a heavy drinker though. No contest. But Derrick is smoking several times a day and is high. Heather is not drunk. I think it's best to get to know each other without the influence of drugs and alcohol. Just the fact that he is so defensive makes it clear to me he has a problem. I would totally be uncomfortable with him. 

I think Nick is awkward and his saying I like the rate things are going was a non sequitur and not an intention to thwart her feelings and expectations. I think Sonia was feeling vulnerable and exposed after saying that and withdrew when she felt he wasn't in the same place as he. 

I'm still undecided on Tom and Lily but sense big trouble coming to paradise. 

[watch2much]

On 8/17/2016 at 0:46 AM, ctbabe said:

He was surprised because he asked for her permission before smoking. She actually gave him permission so if she changed her mind, she should have told him privately. 

her point is that he's done it every day since the wedding. (assuming it's weed) I'm with her.  While I don't think weed should be criminalized, the fact remains that it is illegal most places.  He chose to bring it with him traveling with her.  And I'd be a bit put out if the first thing someone wanted to do upon awakening with me is go smoke a joint.  

[ctbabe]

8 minutes ago, watch2much said:

her point is that he's done it every day since the wedding. (assuming it's weed) I'm with her.  While I don't think weed should be criminalized, the fact remains that it is illegal most places.  He chose to bring it with him traveling with her.  And I'd be a bit put out if the first thing someone wanted to do upon awakening with me is go smoke a joint.  

How do you know he brough it with him? I don't think TSA would permit him to do that. The assumption is he bought it in PR. 

Let me state the flaw in the frequency analogy. Heather from the wedding episode was portrayed as an outspoken person. Remember how she spoke up during ths shoulder kissing. During the argument, Heather said she has morals and is classy. If she thought it was immoral and classless to smoke weed, why permit him? Except she wanted something to hold on to since she wasn't attracted to him. 

[izabella]

59 minutes ago, Evil Queen said:

How would he act if he couldn't get high after so much time goes by? Might just be weed and many think its nothing but there are those that will flip out on not getting high from it if they are addicted to it and use even a few times a day. He is obviously not an occasional user. So how would he have reacted had he not been able to get high first thing in the morning is what I would want to know?

I guess we'll find out since he stopped smoking after his argument with Heather.

[Snewtsie]

I get Tom's comment about minimalism - I hate it when people have a ton of junk in their home they don't use & (my opinion) don't need.  It's useless clutter.  I have downsized my life since a divorce & am now a minimalist ...BUT the things I do have are the highest quality I can afford.  If I could afford a Lexus I would be driving one - that doesn't make me materialistic.  It makes me a person who appreciates quality over quantity.  I'm guessing, since he designs yacht interiors, he sees a lot of people who surround themselves with "stuff" because they have more money than they know what to do with, and he sees that "stuff" doesn't contribute to them living a happier life.

That being said ...Geez, man, come out & tell her about the bus already!  It's been a deal breaker in his past relationships, & avoiding the topic won't make it less of a sticking point.  Him trying to frame it as "other people are too materialistic" is a cop out.  He lives an unconventional lifestyle & he needs to own it ...and be willing to compromise if the love of his life isn't entirely cool with it.  For him to put the bus over his relationships actually makes him, by definition, the more materialistic person. 

[izabella]

1 hour ago, seasick said:

I really didn't think Nick's comment was in direct response to Sonia's comment.  It was sort of a non-sequitur comment I thought.  She directly asked him and he said no--he was just saying...    Now maybe it was a fear that he let slip out, but I still think she made a bit too much of it.  He Said he didn't mean it that way several times.  and she flat-out refused to believe him..which.. is a little problem in itself.  Automatically second-guessing someone or assuming they are lying--esp when you don't know them that well is not right either.  

Nick was the first to say something nice to Sonia - he told her he enjoyed almost every minute being with her.  He started that discussion by being very complimentary, which was probably hard for him since he seems like a guy who has a hard time being effusive in his approval (which Sonia craves, and he is aware she needs that kind of validation).

Then Sonia said her comment about liking him, which was also nice.  Then he said things were moving at the right pace for him and they shouldn't rush things.  I took that to mean he was trying to tell her all was good at the moment, no need to rush OR slow down!  Sonia took that the wrong way, apparently dismissed all the nice things he had said in favor of being so sure that he meant to tell her to back off.  That is not going to go well if she takes every comment and puts her own spin on it (the worst possible) and then won't believe what he says to explain what he actually meant.

I still think they have the best shot out of all the couples of staying together.  Sonia is needy and immature, I think.  He was more aloof and takes his time warming up to people.  Not a good combo, but workable once they actually know each other better.

Edited August 18, 2016 by izabella

[seasick]

58 minutes ago, Madding crowd said:

I didn't sayanything about Reefer Madness and I know you can add any number of shots to any drink. Heather though , looked and sounded completely sober to me so I just assumed she is drinking the typical drink you get at resorts which often is weak. Of course if  she is really drinking hurricanes then she must have a strong tolerance. Getting the same weird message.

I'm truly sorry if my comment came off as ridiculing.  My extremes in that example were my own and I did not mean to imply you took it to that level.   But to me the 'sipping a fruity drink' sounds so innoccuous  and 'mind altering' sounds so ominous. I think they're both closer to the middle ground.  I agree that I never saw any big effects of the drinking on Heather (Gad I would think she'd lighten up a bit -- find a smile maybe) --and other than the squinty-eyes(maybe) I didn't see much 'high' in Derek either.  From what I saw I don't think she has a drinking problem but I will concede that Derek is a Pot Smoker.  Not an occasional Pot smoker--but on any occasion where he can do it without consequence.

[jmonkey]

I love this craptacular show! Here are my thoughts on the couples so far:

Tom and Lillian: I watch this show primarily to see who will consummate the relationship. I remember last season Tres telling the cameras how they consummated the (bleep) out of their relationship being one of my favorite moments. It was no surprise to me that Tom and Lillian were the first to have sex and hopefully they fare a little better than Tres and Vanessa did. Tom and Lillian have an undeniable chemistry and seemed ready to bang on their wedding night. I'm surprised they held off until the honeymoon. Well played on Tom's part to not tell her about the bus yet. He had to make sure he got some sugar first. I think Lillian will be put off by the bus, but I don't think it will be a dealbreaker for her.  She will not react harshly because she won't want to appear materialistic on camera since Tom already indirectly implied she was. They both seem committed to making this marriage work and that should be enough to make it last a few months after the show ends. I'm pretty sure Tom will compromise and get a modest place to appease Lillian because I don't see her willing to live in a bus. I guess we'll see. I see her point about needing a nice car as a realtor in Miami, and there's nothing else about her that screams materialistic. I had to laugh at Tom calling himself a minimalist because I'm a minimalist too. Mine is out of necessity though because I'm broke as a joke. I guess it's cool to be a minimalist by choice. However, if you don't have much because you're poor like yours truly, that just makes you a loser. Living on a bus actually doesn't sound minimalist to me. A bus is an extravagant item, and I don't understand why that would be looked down on by anyone. Yes, it's different, but seems to be appropriate lodging for a single yacht detailer. Anyway, I think these two will be the success story the "experts" will be giving each other high fives about. Will it last? Probably not. But they'll stay together long enough to count towards the show's 33.3% success rate.

Nick and Sonia: They have a nice opposites attract yin and yang thing going on, and it's kind of working at the moment. I just don't think they will ever get each other, and I have no clue what they were even arguing about. I'm not sure they do either. It just sucks that Nick was finally trying to open up about his feelings and Sonia shut him down by getting offended by, I guess, implying that Sonia wanted to the relationship to go faster than he did. Sonia is highly emotional, and I see Nick staying closed and walking on eggshells just to appease her and avoid a reaction. In that respect I see some parallels between these two and Neil and Sam from last season. No, Sonia is sweet and nowhere near as deplorable as Sam was. I just think an extroverted Sonia will eventually wear thin on emotionless Nick who just won't see the point in her getting riled over seemingly nothing. Nick is a lot buffer than I thought he'd be and Sonia seems pleasantly surprised with his physique. I think physical appearance is extremely important for her. She was butthurt when Nick didn't compliment her looks at the wedding. I do think they'll consummate the relationship towards the end of the season, but I don't think they'll stay married.

Derek and Heather: This will most likely end with a restraining order. Heather is such an ice queen. If it wasn't the smoking, she'd find something else to nitpick about i.e. Derek living out of a suitcase when there are two empty drawers to put his stuff in. She has judgmental eyes, and it's easy to see why she's still single despite having a lot of good qualities. Nitpicking like she does should be reserved for the second year of marriage rather than the honeymoon. What was the deal with her riding so far ahead of Derek on the bike ride? She has already checked out of the marriage.

 If Derek was just smoking cigarettes, I don't see the big deal. Heather said in her application that she didn't mind occasional smoking. She should've put down smoking was a dealbreaker in her application if she wanted a non-smoker. Occasional smoking might mean a cigarette or two a day to some people. However, if it's the weed it's rumored to be, I'm Team Heather. While I understand weed has benefits and isn't generally harmful, it is still illegal in most US states and has been demonized in society by many. It is interesting to me that when someone asks "do you smoke?" today that he or she could be referring to marijuana rather than cigarettes. That just speaks to how mainstream marijuana use has become. If I was Heather and found out my new husband was a pothead, I'd be angry too. She's completed justified in feeling burned if Derek was indeed blazing up. However, I'd be more offended by his stupid tattoos. Seriously, what was he thinking? He would have to be high to have that inked on him forever. Derek and his squinty eyes give him this Robert DeNiro vibe that is really creeping me out. While they will ride out the season to extend their 15 minutes of fame, these two will divorce and will be bitter about the MAFS experience.

Edited August 18, 2016 by jmonkey

[izabella]

4 minutes ago, jmonkey said:

I think Lillian will be put off by the bus, but I don't think it will be a dealbreaker for her.  She will not react harshly because she won't want to appear materialistic on camera since Tom already indirectly implied she was. They both seem committed to making this marriage work and that should be enough to make it last a few months after the show ends. I'm pretty sure Tom will compromise and get a modest place to appease Lillian because I don't see her willing to live in a bus. I guess we'll see. I see her point about needing a nice car as a realtor in Miami, and there's nothing else about her that screams materialistic. 

This relationship won't last.  Not only does Lily need a nice car, she also needs nice clothes, manicures, pedicures, jewelry, shoes, etc.  Her entire lifestyle of selling real estate is diametrically opposed to his lifestyle of living footloose and fancy-free on a minimalist bus.  Everything she does and buys will be more grist for his "minimalist vs. materialistic" perspective.

[lh25]

Quote

He also believes that anyone who doesn't live his "minimalist" lifestyle is less than, and looking down on people isn't an attractive quality.

I took his comments exactly the opposite.  I got more of a vibe that he was feeling defensive about living on the bus, like it made him less then other people.  Interesting how we all can see things differently.

[Lily247]

I only saw part of the last couple episodes so I may have missed a few relevant things. I just saw Heather being very angry at Derek for smoking. Like, beyond normal irritated at someone you just met a few days ago. Derek seems very, very nice and easygoing. I am not sure still what exactly he is smoking. If it is cigarettes, they can work on it together to reduce or stop his habit. I myself am married to a smoker, and I have never touched a cigarette (YUCK!) It IS a constant battle, and I have tried almost everything. I am planning on taking him to cigarette quitting advising appointment at the clinic if he will go. Anyways, I wouldnt blame anyone for refusing to date a cigarette smoker, but I think smoking cigs doesnt say a lot about you as a person, just that you have a yucky, unhealthy vice. Weed though - I would NEVER date a weed smoker, even though it is supposedly not dangerous like cigs. I dont want to offend anyone but smoking weed recreationally as an adult gives off loser - ish vibes to me. I dont know much about military culture but I am surprised that an ex Navy like Derek would be a stoner - it doesnt really match up in my mind. 

I thought it was interesting that Heather was wearing baggy sweats on her honeymoon.

Sonia is very sweet and pretty much the opposite of Heather. She is trying very very hard to strike a spark with a guy who can barely say a sentence without awkardness. I honestly think that 1, he is very shy and 2, he is not into her. i feel like she is trying to bring him out of his shell and she really needs to cool it of a bit.

Tom is too pompous. Lily is very very dreamy. When Tom said how they were shaking at first when they "consummated" their marriage, I thought it was TMI for this show.