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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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Thanks SewSumi, I knew I could count on you.

Hmm....I forgot about that. Is that when Jill said she doesn't remember him being there? How does a group of carolers gain entrance to the compound? Details? (Looking at you, SewSumi :)

Isn't it a coincidence that Michelle didn't remember JB the 1st time they met either. Did Jessa remember the first time she met Ben?

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The photo is disturbing. To document and share a picture of your baby in a moment of distress is reprehensible and demonstrates how the Duggar-Dillard clan believe anything associated with them deserves to be offered up to their 'adoring' public.

As an aside, it looks like the poor babe is wound up like a mummy in one of Jill's infamous skirts. Poor little soul.

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I agree, taking a pic when you baby is in distress like Iz was is disturbing. But......I have to admit I swaddled our youngest until she almost grew out of the largest size of swaddler. I want to say 9/10 months? On warm days we put on the air so she was comfortable. We placed her in the middle of one of those things that keeps babies elevated and they have two low rolls on the sides so they can't roll. And it was in a bassanet too. Right next to my side of the bed. My good friend who is a RN told me about them (she did the same with her kids, including twins) after I told her we were never able to get our oldest on a sleep schedule. It was hard at first, my husband is claustrophobic but once he saw the benefits, he was ok. she slept through the night at two weeks. Once we noticed she started "rocking" we stopped. She was such a peaceful baby. As soon as we swaddled her she would fall asleep within minutes. It was like a magic trick. Since she was born I have told scores of people about swaddling and for some it worked. So I'm going to think positive and think maybe they forgot to change Iz's diaper and that is why he was crying.

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I have to admit I swaddled our youngest until she almost grew out of the largest size of swaddler. I want to say 9/10 months? 

When my son was about 9 months old (and about 22 lbs) he was walking, fell directly on his face onto the hardwood and split his lower lip.  The more he cried, the more it bled, so off to the pediatrician.  The doc put him on a papoose-like board to keep him from slapping the hand that stitched him.  My son was so angry, he almost tore that baby straight jacket apart.  The doc said he probably didn't feel the stitches (3) because he was so angry.  Big, mobile babies do not like swaddling.

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Do you think Derick tried to "save" or preach the good word to his Wal-Mart coworkers? Luckily, he probably didn't have time since clingy Jilly took up his lunch break.

Does anyone remember what the Jerick timeline was? When did Jill & Boob visit him in Nepal when THE courtship started? All's I remember is the wedding was June 2014. Counting back for the usual 3 month engagement and the 3 month courtship, it would bring it back to around January 2014.

As another poster stated, I wonder if this is what Derick had in mind for his life. I'm sure he wasn't prepared for Jilly Muffin's clinginess or that her education amounted to barely nothing. Cathy probably wasn't prepared either. Oh I wish we could get her husband to talk & spill some beans we don't know about.......

 

Yep, I too would LOVE to hear from Miss Cathy and Derick's stepfather. I give this guy a lot of credit, by the way - he has managed to keep his own name entirely apart from the whole Duggar circus. If it's been mentioned anywhere at all, I've never seen it. Keep it up, step-dad. You seem to be the only one "in the family" with a clear, non-fundified view of things. And brains - mustn't forget brains. 

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 Thanks SewSumi, I knew I could count on you.

Hmm....I forgot about that. Is that when Jill said she doesn't remember him being there? How does a group of carolers gain entrance to the compound? Details? (Looking at you, SewSumi :)

Just a guess, but probably a group of church people decided they wanted to meet the Duggars, called Boob, and got the approval to be let into the locked gates of the compound because Jesus.

 

Jessa also said she doesn't remember the first time she met Bin.

That's seriously strange that all three of them have that same story. I wonder if it's because it makes them feel especially virtuous, that they're nothing like those godless, worldly women who might be the first ones to approach a guy to say hello. This way, the narrative places them in a completely passive role, which is just as they believe it should be.

 

Yep, I too would LOVE to hear from Miss Cathy and Derick's stepfather. I give this guy a lot of credit, by the way - he has managed to keep his own name entirely apart from the whole Duggar circus. If it's been mentioned anywhere at all, I've never seen it. Keep it up, step-dad. You seem to be the only one "in the family" with a clear, non-fundified view of things. And brains - mustn't forget brains. 

I love how Derick's stepfather made no effort whatsoever to play to the cameras in the brief scenes he appeared in. He also evidently refused to do THs. However, I think it's a big leap to assume he has a non-fundified view of things. Cathy is fundy -- yes, even though she wears pants. Not Gothard, but a conservative Christian whose church (southern Baptist) posts clear positions on its website regarding the doctrines of wifely submission and the evils of feminism and gay marriage.) There's every reason to believe Derick's stepfather holds the same views, since fundies are not supposed to marry non-fundies.

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Jessa also said she doesn't remember the first time she met Bin.

My husband doesn't remember the first time he met me. There's a picture of it, and he still doesn't remember. Of course, he's terrible with faces in general. So I suppose it can happen. But with the Duggar Wives I suspect it is actually BS and they want to make it clear that they were not looking for a husband. Uh-uh. Nope. Not them.

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My husband doesn't remember the first time he met me. There's a picture of it, and he still doesn't remember. Of course, he's terrible with faces in general. So I suppose it can happen. But with the Duggar Wives I suspect it is actually BS and they want to make it clear that they were not looking for a husband. Uh-uh. Nope. Not them.

Nope weren't looking at all.

duggar-300.jpg

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Nope weren't looking at all.

duggar-300.jpg

 

Oh my gosh, I haven't seen that cover in a long time. Some of those poses -- like mannequins from the helpmeet floor in the fun-diepartment store. (I'm looking at you, Jill and Jinger) And the curls. Horrifying. Plus, now I know what photograph old Bill G has stuffed under his mattress at home. (Would be better if you could see the flip-flop feet of course....Although they may have given him a full-length photo upon request, I suppose...)

 

Wonder whether the fam figured that with those heads of hair scores of Gothard-y young men would come a-runnin. So much for that plan, I guess. Seems even Gothard-y young men mostly don't want JB and M as parents in-law.

Edited by Churchhoney
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Rather interesting they put Jill front and center considering she's the least attractive and least photogenic of the sisters. Being Daddy's favorite comes with privileges, apparently.

... and the 2 who are front & center are married ...

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I found the full book online. I think Jill must have written the bulk of it, it's brimming with her confident stupidity. "It was sad to find that on average, the life expectancy for rock artists and musicians is around forty; many of them die at a young age for reasons related to AIDS, drug or alcohol abuse, or suicides."

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When my son was about 9 months old (and about 22 lbs) he was walking, fell directly on his face onto the hardwood and split his lower lip.  The more he cried, the more it bled, so off to the pediatrician.  The doc put him on a papoose-like board to keep him from slapping the hand that stitched him.  My son was so angry, he almost tore that baby straight jacket apart.  The doc said he probably didn't feel the stitches (3) because he was so angry.  Big, mobile babies do not like swaddling.

Everybody has some evidence that proves their point whether it be for or against the swaddle. I hate defending this picture because quite frankly it's a picture that shouldn't have been shared in the first place. I will however defend the swaddle until my dying day. My second child was a terrible baby. Cried the first three months of his life non stop. Seriously. Until I discovered the swaddle. Not just any swaddle, it had to be with a fleece swaddle blanket. I swaddled him so much I was worried I would damage the mobility in his arms. He was still being swaddled leading up to his first birthday in August that I finally had to wean him off the swaddle in July because he was so hot and sweaty and stinky. He also weighed close to 20 lbs (he was a big baby). He's three now and of course no longer swaddled but my point is that every baby is different.

Now, knowing that people criticize your every move I have no clue why they would decide to publish such a photo for the world to see.

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It slays me that the book was written and published well before any of them had ever had a "relationship", dated or been courted ! Makes as much sense as Michelle writing a book about modern hairstyles or birth control methods.

 

I noticed Jill's posture and stance in the photo, and the body language is very telling - she has her hand on her hip, separating her from Jessa in a gesture that fairly screams "Get away from me !" - I think there's far more conflict and drama, albeit unsaid, going on in that family than they'd ever admit to.

 

People often repeat the old adage "If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all". That would explain the endlessly repeated generic phrases "She has a heart for the Lord", "She's an encouragement", "She's a blessing", and so on. It's their way of saying something while really saying nothing at all. 

 

I'm going to purpose to send Jill a t-shirt that says "I want my jewelry box back !!!"

 

 

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I found the full book online. I think Jill must have written the bulk of it, it's brimming with her confident stupidity. "It was sad to find that on average, the life expectancy for rock artists and musicians is around forty; many of them die at a young age for reasons related to AIDS, drug or alcohol abuse, or suicides."

 

Pretty sure David Waller and Charlie Richards (formerly of Focus on the Family and creator of the Life at the Pond series) wrote -- and primarily conceptualized -- most of it. The above -- plus most of what else is in the book -- is a straight-up Bill Gothard talking point. And DW (as a Gothard henchman) and Richards (as a longtime professional writer) were surely hired not just to polish sentences but to make sure that the whole Duggar-favored ATI agenda was laid out clearly and in detail in the book.

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I found the full book online. I think Jill must have written the bulk of it, it's brimming with her confident stupidity. "It was sad to find that on average, the life expectancy for rock artists and musicians is around forty; many of them die at a young age for reasons related to AIDS, drug or alcohol abuse, or suicides."

Did they get in a time machine and travel back to the '80s to write that thing?

Geesh.

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Did they get in a time machine and travel back to the '80s to write that thing?

Geesh.

 

The whole book just recites Gothard's stuff, with interspersed "anecdotes" -- many clearly largely or wholly fictionalized, if you ask me -- that are supposedly from these 21st-century "authors'" lives. The whole book is just an attempt to make Gothardism seem young and fresh and pretty because it's supposedly coming from the mouths of the Four Curlytops. (as if they're modern)

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The whole book just recites Gothard's stuff, with interspersed "anecdotes" -- many clearly largely or wholly fictionalized, if you ask me -- that are supposedly from these 21st-century "authors'" lives. The whole book is just an attempt to make Gothardism seem young and fresh and pretty because it's supposedly coming from the mouths of the Four Curlytops. (as if they're modern)

The only thing that surprises me in the veritable tome of Gothardite claptrap and bullshit is that they didn't write "The AIDS".

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The only thing that surprises me in the veritable tome of Gothardite claptrap and bullshit is that they didn't write "The AIDS".

 

Well, Richards is pretty savvy, I think (aside from his longtime professional partnerships). He has a long career writing for mainstream organizations as well as his purely Christian work. So he may have stopped them! He's decades older than Waller and the Curly Sisters, but I expect he was primarily responsible for wresting the language out of Gothard's nursing-home dialect.

Edited by Churchhoney
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Oh my gosh, I haven't seen that cover in a long time. Some of those poses -- like mannequins from the helpmeet floor in the fun-diepartment store. (I'm looking at you, Jill and Jinger) And the curls. Horrifying. Plus, now I know what photograph old Bill G has stuffed under his mattress at home. (Would be better if you could see the flip-flop feet of course....Although they may have given him a full-length photo upon request, I suppose...)

 

Wonder whether the fam figured that with those heads of hair scores of Gothard-y young men would come a-runnin. So much for that plan, I guess. Seems even Gothard-y young men mostly don't want JB and M as parents in-law.

... and the 2 who are front & center are married ...

If I recall, that relationship book was "written" before their marriages. And before any courtships. It was written before any of the girls had any boy/girl relationships at all! I read the book from the library. I was stunned that the girls were spouting out so much relationship advice!

About those horrible clone-curls: These fundies have shown us time after time just how much time they waste styling all that hair. To please their men folk. I was too busy raising my 3 kids and working full-time to even consider any hair style beyond a simple blow-dry.

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Funny how they left being molested out of their relationship book. I have a copy, but can't bring myself to read more than a snippet here and there. Mine is an ebook, and Jill is listed as being the only author.

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Funny how they left being molested out of their relationship book. I have a copy, but can't bring myself to read more than a snippet here and there. Mine is an ebook, and Jill is listed as being the only author.

 

Interesting. On the copyright page of the hardback, they're listed in descending age order, with Jana being first, of course. .... But -- also of course -- she's gotten bumped for Jill!

 

(And on the Amazon page for the Kindle edition, they're listed in a completely strange order (but one that coincides with your Jill only book);   Jill, JInger, Jessa, Jana. .... Wonder what the heck that's about. Not age, not alphabetical, not in order of fame.)

Edited by Churchhoney
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Funny how they left being molested out of their relationship book. I have a copy, but can't bring myself to read more than a snippet here and there. Mine is an ebook, and Jill is listed as being the only author.

Other than unintentionally revealing the family's more twisted nature, the book has no real merit (it's written by a parrot), but I can't fault any of the "authors" for not revealing that they had been sexually assaulted by their brother.
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The book definitely had a ghostwriter, but I am 100% sure it was a woman. I knew her name at one time, but alas, don't give any shits to remember it now.

There was also a second release of the thing after Jill and Jessa became super duper relationship experts due to their courtships. Kokapetl, does your online copy carry these pearls of "wisdom" to share with us?

Edited by Sew Sumi
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The book definitely had a ghostwriter, but I am 100% sure it was a woman. I knew her name at one time, but alas, don't give any shits to remember it now.

There was also a second release of the thing after Jill and Jessa became super duper relationship experts due to their courtships. Kokapetl, does your online copy carry these pearls of "wisdom" to share with us?

 

Nope. Not a woman. It's Charlie Richards and David Waller. They're listed on the copyright page using some standard ghostwriter language -- "additional writing contributed by." And no other contributors of any kind are listed except for an editor, Sue Ann Jones. But she got the editor language. Richards and Waller got the ghostwriter language. I think Jones is an Arkansas newspaper editor. ....

 

Instead of being written by the four people who now claim that they're "authors," the book was written by three other people who don't get to say that. It took seven altogether apparently. And yet it says pretty much nothing.

Edited by Churchhoney
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Funny how they left being molested out of their relationship book. I have a copy, but can't bring myself to read more than a snippet here and there. Mine is an ebook, and Jill is listed as being the only author.

Well, if they're only going to list the first author, I can see where they'd bump Jana for Jill. Jill is probably a lot better known -- all those People Magazine stories, etc.

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Nope. Not a woman. It's Charlie Richards and David Waller. They're listed on the copyright page using some standard ghostwriter language -- "additional writing contributed by." And no other contributors of any kind are listed except for an editor, Sue Ann Jones. But she got the editor language. Richards and Waller got the ghostwriter language. I think Jones is an Arkansas newspaper editor. ....

 

Instead of being written by the four people who now claim that they're "authors," the book was written by three other people who don't get to say that. It took seven altogether apparently. And yet it says pretty much nothing.

The same David Waller? As in David and Priscilla?

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Nope. Not a woman. It's Charlie Richards and David Waller. They're listed on the copyright page using some standard ghostwriter language -- "additional writing contributed by." And no other contributors of any kind are listed except for an editor, Sue Ann Jones. But she got the editor language. Richards and Waller got the ghostwriter language. I think Jones is an Arkansas newspaper editor. ....

Instead of being written by the four people who now claim that they're "authors," the book was written by three other people who don't get to say that. It took seven altogether apparently. And yet it says pretty much nothing.

The girls must have referred to the editor then when they mentioned timing of the release of the new chapter. I guess I assumed it was the ghostwriter. Since I never "invested" in their lives by buying the thing (although I did read the first run), I humbly stand corrected, but certainly not surprised. It was nothing if not pure Gothardese.

ETA: Wasn't the publisher a Christian arm of a fairly major publishing house? The second Duggar tome (which I do own) was published by Howard, a division of Simon and Schuster.

Edited by Sew Sumi
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The girls must have referred to the editor then when they mentioned timing of the release of the new chapter. I guess I assumed it was the ghostwriter. Since I never "invested" in their lives by buying the thing (although I did read the first run), I humbly stand corrected, but certainly not surprised. It was nothing if not pure Gothardese.

ETA: Wasn't the publisher a Christian arm of a fairly major publishing house? The second Duggar tome (which I do own) was published by Howard, a division of Simon and Schuster.

 

Yes, their book is also from Howard.

 

It's standard PR practice for the fake authors of a ghostwritten book to talk about their editor when they discuss the book in public! .... Because that leaves the impression that the faux auteurs actually worked with the editor!

 

Really though, J,J,J, and J, Sue Ann worked mainly with David and Charlie. lol

The same David Waller? As in David and Priscilla?

 

Yes. One assumes he contributed the details of the Gothard philosophy and kept those straight, while Charlie Richards probably did most of the actual planning, writing, interviewing the girls, etc. .... They would have needed a Gothard expert on board, since that's pretty clearly a lot of the purpose of the book, I think. And I think DW is kind of a right-hand man in the Gothard kingdom.

Edited by Churchhoney
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Yes. One assumes he contributed the details of the Gothard philosophy and kept those straight, while Charlie Richards probably did most of the actual planning, writing, interviewing the girls, etc. .... They would have needed a Gothard expert on board, since that's pretty clearly a lot of the purpose of the book, I think. And I think DW is kind of a right-hand man in the Gothard kingdom.

That's scary.

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I'm sure David went thru the manuscript and added any further Gothardisms when he felt it was lacking.  It wouldn't surprise me if in a few years it's updated again with Jill and Jessa's parenting advice...yuck.

 

Who was their publisher? I want to send them my manuscript, Growing Up Rosenberg: It's All About Christianity.

 

Me too - it's called Screw All This Religion Shit, I'm a Happy Heathen - Let's Party! 

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Isn't Howard Publishing owned by Korie Robertson's of Duck Dynasty father? Are all the Christians on TV interconnected?

 

She's the granddaughter of the company's founder. But Howard Publishing was sold to Simon and Schuster -- I think just after the grandfather died maybe 10 years ago or so -- and moved from Louisiana. It's now an S&S imprint and is called Howard Books. The sale was before the Duggs started publishing books, I think. So they wouldn't have anything to do with the Howard family. By the time they got involved it was just an S&S thing. It's a really big imprint.

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I found the full book online. I think Jill must have written the bulk of it, it's brimming with her confident stupidity. "It was sad to find that on average, the life expectancy for rock artists and musicians is around forty; many of them die at a young age for reasons related to AIDS, drug or alcohol abuse, or suicides."

Why would the Duggars care? They don't even listen to "rock music". Where do they even get these statistics?

Who was their publisher? I want to send them my manuscript, Growing Up Rosenberg: It's All About Christianity.

OMG... *dead*

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Nope weren't looking at all.

duggar-300.jpg

 

This is the first time I've ever noticed a resemblance between Jill and Jana- I've always thought Jill had her own unique look.  But with the clone outfits and curly-q's they look quite similar!

 

It slays me that the book was written and published well before any of them had ever had a "relationship", dated or been courted ! Makes as much sense as Michelle writing a book about modern hairstyles or birth control methods.

 

I know! That's what gets me!  I just saw this book strongly recommended by someone who has otherwise made wise, well thought out decisions in her life.  And she suggested this book as a great one to be  a roadmap for a "wayward teen".  I can't imagine how girls who hadn't been in any relationships yet can be taken as experts on the topic- basically the whole thing was/is a big experiment that we don't know the long term implications of (or we're just beginning to see....).  

 

I must agree with Mountainair on the swaddling- my first had sensory issues and needed to be swaddled until about a year.  Of course, we didn't just leave him laying there screaming, as this picture seems to indicate, but rocked him and used it as a tool along with other ways to get him calm and to sleep.  My third child was similar; maybe not a full year, but we used the same blanket, and probably for several months as she was quite high strung and a terrible sleeper and the containment and body contact was needed to get her to sleep.  So, I don't think I'd judge their parenting just on this pic- but I do find it strange that they'd photograph and post their child wrapped up, crying, and alone!  Odd time to go grab the camera!  

 

I do find it interesting that many people "sleep train" and leave their baby alone in a crib, unswaddled, to scream for 8, 12 hours, even to vomit alone, without parental comforting or intervention, and it's considered mainstream and acceptable, not abusive at all- there are many popular books about it out there!  Yet simply swaddling at several months old is considered by some here as abusive?  

Edited by awaken
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"It was sad to find that on average, the life expectancy for rock artists and musicians is around forty; many of them die at a young age for reasons related to AIDS, drug or alcohol abuse, or suicides."

Why would the Duggars care? They don't even listen to "rock music". Where do they even get these statistics?

They care because these made up statistics (seriously, a life expectancy of 40? Critical thinking should kick in here one would hope, but clearly not) confirm that their way of life is so much better than the lives of those godless rock stars and those who listen to them. Rock musicians are like boogey men to these people. Talented and passionate men and women who do what they love, living (in fundie minds at least) hedonistic lifestyles, getting fame and admiration for playing devil music with a beat. Of course they have to die young, otherwise it would mean that God approves of their sins.

 

And if they don't actually die young or for rock music reasons, well maybe some improved statistics will keep the fundie baby sheep in their fold. I just read through a "Christian" page that gloatingly listed all the prematurely dead rock stars of the past half century. And the gist of it was that they all died because of rock music (nevermind the cancer, the heart attacks and the car and plane crashes; those were clearly God's punishment), all proven with a bunch of random bible quotes.

 

Also, I think their idea of rock stars is a few decades behind, probably thanks to Gothard and his ilk. Wasn't the whole ATI movement successful at the start because parents were afraid that their kids would go all rebellious and rock'n'roll? To be fair, the 60's and 70's were full of dead musicians but things have calmed down since then haven't they? I can only think of four big rock stars who have died of the above mentioned causes in the past 25 years: Freddie Mercury, Kurt Cobain, Michael Hutchence and Amy Winehouse. Add a few lesser known ones and you still won't get anywhere near a 40 year life expectancy.

Edited by Vaysh
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I found the full book online. I think Jill must have written the bulk of it, it's brimming with her confident stupidity. "It was sad to find that on average, the life expectancy for rock artists and musicians is around forty; many of them die at a young age for reasons related to AIDS, drug or alcohol abuse, or suicides."

This fucking infuriates me. Did the "authors" cite any source material?

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Why would the Duggars care? They don't even listen to "rock music". Where do they even get these statistics?

 

 

The book wasn't really written by the the dumb Duggar girls. The book is pure Gothard propaganda -- and fully intended to be -- and the "facts" certainly came from Gothard's henchman David Waller and/or the other ghostwriter Charlie Richards. The girls' "experiences" in the book are just there to back up various Gothard-y points, just like these other "facts."

Edited by Churchhoney
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