Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[GeeGolly]

Prince Harry mentions in his book how his penis didn't fare too well on a trek to the North Pole and he was dressed for the elements. Derick best be careful because we all know what ballroom dancing in your living room leads to. 🥶😁

[the-grey-lady]

On 1/17/2023 at 6:46 PM, Lady Whistleup said:

Work is usually a space where people can have a separate existence from their spouses.

Yeah, but they don't believe in having a separate existence from their spouses.

If I didn't have a separate existence from my spouse, I'd stick my head in an oven.

[quarks]

To me, Jill seems to be very much in a damned if you, damned if you don't situation. On the one hand, people are squawking at her to get a job, and on the other hand, when she tries to sell something on social media - which is a job, - she gets criticized, and told to get a job. 

Same with the schooling. I happen to disagree with many commentators here - I think if Jill were doing homeschooling, we'd be hearing a lot more about that and seeing far more pictures of her kids. The silence on schooling suggests to me that her two oldest kids are in school, but the school in question has asked her not to confirm this on social media, something both private/public schools often ask of parents less well known than Derick and Jill. 

[SMama]

44 minutes ago, quarks said:

The silence on schooling suggests to me that her two oldest kids are in school, but the school in question has asked her not to confirm this on social media, something both private/public schools often ask of parents less well known than Derick and Jill. 

Jill could acknowledge the kids are in school in many ways that would not mention what school they are attending. She could caption a picture "after dropping the boys off at school," even "it was such a nice day we walked to school this morning," really, there are endless ways to do it.

[Zella]

54 minutes ago, quarks said:

I think if Jill were doing homeschooling, we'd be hearing a lot more about that and seeing far more pictures of her kids.

I think Jill is well aware of how much she'd be criticized for going back to homeschooling after she had Izzy in public school. I think her silence is because she's aware of that. She doesn't want to get flamed for her decision. Your premise that she'd be posting more about it assumes she's proud of homeschooling and wants to share it. I don't think that's necessarily true. 

Edited February 8, 2023 by Zella

[Stevie Nicks]

2 hours ago, quarks said:

To me, Jill seems to be very much in a damned if you, damned if you don't situation. On the one hand, people are squawking at her to get a job, and on the other hand, when she tries to sell something on social media - which is a job, - she gets criticized, and told to get a job. 

 

Selling things on social media may indeed be a job. But it doesn't require a specific schedule, or having to deal with child care and actually getting up every morning, getting kids ready and dropping them off at school and daycare then going to work for 8 hours, picking up the kids and then doing afternoon/evening chores. In other words, doing what the vast majority of women do every day. Live by a schedule. Which the Duggars (including Jill) have never mastered. I think that's the problem people have with her job situation. 

[lookeyloo]

Y'all know I don't love these people.  But why should anyone have a problem if Jill has a job or what that "job" is. As long as I'm not forced to buy anything  or support them or that they are "on the dole" that's on them. Would I do it? No. Would I homeschool?  No.  Still wish they would have some epiphany about their odious beliefs 

[Snow Fairy]

3 hours ago, Zella said:

I think Jill is well aware of how much she'd be criticized for going back to homeschooling after she had Izzy in public school. I think her silence is because she's aware of that. She doesn't want to get flamed for her decision. Your premise that she'd be posting more about it assumes she's proud of homeschooling and wants to share it. I don't think that's necessarily true. 

So why is she homeschooling if she doesn't think she can do a good job with it?

If I knew my knowledge isn't enough to educate my children, I would put their needs first and get them to school.

Giving your children a chance in education is more important than having them around 24/7 so you what.... don't get bored or have any obligations?

[ozziemom]

I’m still hoping Derick agreed to homeschool this year since he realizes how fragile Jill is. With a newborn, new house and his new work schedule, she may have been too overwhelmed this summer. Otherwise I’m not sure what his long term plan for the boys following in his footsteps to college is. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[all fall down]

7 hours ago, Snow Fairy said:

So why is she homeschooling if she doesn't think she can do a good job with it?

If I knew my knowledge isn't enough to educate my children, I would put their needs first and get them to school.

Giving your children a chance in education is more important than having them around 24/7 so you what.... don't get bored or have any obligations?

That's the difference between you and the fundies. They homeschool because they don't want the "evil public schools" having influence on their children.

The point in fundies homeschooling is control, not education. They don't place any value on a good education. I think that's long been true of many religions. Mistrust of the educated.

They think knowledge of the bible is all the education you need, but will do the bare minimum to pass state/local requirements, even if they don't agree with them. 

As for Jill, I go back and forth on what I think she's doing this year. We know when Sam was a baby she had a hard time adjusting to life with two kids. Now that she has an infant again, she might have decided getting the kids to school was too much for her. Especially with having just moved. But who knows. I at least hope that if she is indeed homeschooling this year, that maybe next year when Freddie is a little older, Izzy and Sam will go back to school. 

Edited February 9, 2023 by all fall down

[ginger90]

It is not known if she’s homeschooling or not.

[Kiss my mutt]

If Jill is homeschooling, i would I think keeping two other kids home with a baby would be more overwhelming, Especially with school pretty close by.  At least that was my experience. 

[thehorseofpower]

25 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

If Jill is homeschooling, i would I think keeping two other kids home with a baby would be more overwhelming, Especially with school pretty close by.  At least that was my experience. 

These are exactly my thoughts. If she is struggling to adjust to three kids, or is having post-partum issues in general, having two active boys at home that need daily schooling and structure sounds like the worst possible situation for her to put herself in. Having two of them gone at school most of the day so she can focus on just the baby and home chores seems like it would be a relief. Yes, getting the kids up and ready and out the door can be stressful but it's nothing compared to an entire day of homeschooling (virtual schooling for my two kids during the early pandemic was hard enough and there was an actual teacher involved in keeping things on track for that)!

If she is indeed homeschooling, doing it because it's "easier" for her during an emotionally volatile time doesn't make any sense to me.

[GeeGolly]

Jill keeping the boys home because its easier for her makes total sense to me, because she is Jill.

Its all a trade off, meal times, showers, early mornings, drop-offs and pick-ups are a lot of work and even more work for someone who isn't big on schedules. I loved when summertime came because we had more freedom as a family. But I also loved the 9 months of the school year.

If the boys are home it could be because Jill is struggling with an adulthood she never saw or lived. Or it could be because the Dillards don't approve of certain curriculums. Or both. Or maybe the boys are at school.

If the boys were attending school it'd be easy enough to post pics or events without revealing the school. And if we think back to Jill's previous posts of Izzy, all but the one picture in front of the school sign (SMH) none of her posts named the school, he didn't wear a uniform either. They were posts of character day, meal coupon awards for reading, running errands with Sam before pick-up time, etc, without one mention of the school.

[ozziemom]

Last school year Jill had Derick around more and only Izzy to get ready for school. That’s part of what I think is overwhelming for Jill, she grew up on Duggar time so two boys and no Derick, is too much to handle. Homeschooling done by Jill, if anything like the SOTDRT, probably doesn’t take up too much of her time. But I could be wrong, I actually hope I am and that Sam & Izzy are happily at school with a variety of friends.

[quarks]

1 hour ago, Stevie Nicks said:

Selling things on social media may indeed be a job. But it doesn't require a specific schedule, or having to deal with child care and actually getting up every morning, getting kids ready and dropping them off at school and daycare then going to work for 8 hours, picking up the kids and then doing afternoon/evening chores. In other words, doing what the vast majority of women do every day. Live by a schedule. Which the Duggars (including Jill) have never mastered. I think that's the problem people have with her job situation. 

 

Social media campaigns/sales pitches frequently do require a specific schedule and everything else you are mentioning. 

Jill is, admittedly, not participating in a carefully planned, year long launch of a major product/film/television show/book, but she's also not just randomly throwing up posts. She has to coordinate those posts with the marketing staff at those companies, which means getting those posts up within a specific time frame.  

And since Jill's a D-list - well, really F-list or lower - celebrity, whose major recent claim to fame is that she has a brother in federal prison, it's possible  - even probable - that she's also spending time offering her services to various businesses.

They don't have a nanny, and at least one child isn't in school at all, so she's doing childcare, scheduled or unscheduled. 

7 hours ago, Zella said:

I think Jill is well aware of how much she'd be criticized for going back to homeschooling after she had Izzy in public school. I think her silence is because she's aware of that. She doesn't want to get flamed for her decision. Your premise that she'd be posting more about it assumes she's proud of homeschooling and wants to share it. I don't think that's necessarily true. 

But does Jill see it that way?

I mean, yes, if she says that she's back to homeschooling, she's opening herself up to a lot of criticism - I agree with you there. But she was also heavily criticized for putting him into public school in the first place by many conservative Christians, the group she still belongs to, and who probably haven't changed their views on the "evils" of public schools since making those comments.  As I said, damned if she does, damned if she doesn't.

That said, she does have one solid reason for publicizing homeschooling that has nothing to do with pride or worries about criticism - it might at the very least get her some comped homeschooling supplies, and possibly even bring in some income. I don't think the family is close to starving, or anything like that, but since Jill is still shilling things, they may need, or think they need, more money.

[Zella]

10 minutes ago, quarks said:

As I said, damned if she does, damned if she doesn't.

She is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't, but I think in recent years she's tended to cater more to the crowd that would praise her for sending her kid to public school on her social media. 

[GeeGolly]

10 minutes ago, Zella said:

She is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't, but I think in recent years she's tended to cater more to the crowd that would praise her for sending her kid to public school on her social media. 

It seems to me all of the Duggars are damned if they do or damned if they don't. Kind of like, oh I don't know, every famous person that keeps putting themselves out there on SM. Of all the Duggars Jill and Jinger are the ones who have dipped their toes in both sides. For sure they are conservative Christians, but they have let go of some things Gothard with Jill and apparently all things Gothard with Jinger. The haters and humpers are not in short supply, so someone will always have something negative to say. But IMO, over the last 2 or 3 years Jill has gotten a lot of love from the haters and seemed to enjoy it very much. Which leaves me to believe the boys are home.

[Zella]

4 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

It seems to me all of the Duggars are damned if they do or damned if they don't. Kind of like, oh I don't know, every famous person that keeps putting themselves out there on SM.

Yes when I first wrote my comment, I almost edited my post to add, "She's damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. Largely by her own hand." 

The Duggar kids had no real say about their parents making them famous when they were children. That's not on them, and I suspect it gave many of them very distorted ideas about what constitutes TMI or boundaries about publicity. I do have some sympathy for them on that. But how they choose to use social media as adults is very much on them, especially as they marry, have children of their own, and reach their 30s.

From the adults, we've seen some of them decide to scale back and truly lead what seems to be a private life now (Josiah and Lauren). It's not impossible for a Duggar to avoid living their life as an open book. And if they do want to do that and post all about it online or develop boundaries of what they post and what they don't, well, that's their prerogative.  

But if you post personal stuff online, people are going to comment. It's not always going to be fair comments or nice comments or reasonable comments, but it's an inevitable side effect of putting yourself out there. 

I also think it's disingenuous of people like the Duggars to advertise the hell out of their lives to strangers but then act pissy when those strangers then have questions. They have every right to not answer those questions, but it's silly to act like they have no idea why people are curious or think it's OK to ask such a personal question. Because you keep pimping out your personal life, dummies! 

[Gemma Violet]

3 hours ago, Zella said:

I also think it's disingenuous of people like the Duggars to advertise the hell out of their lives to strangers but then act pissy when those strangers then have questions. They have every right to not answer those questions, but it's silly to act like they have no idea why people are curious or think it's OK to ask such a personal question. Because you keep pimping out your personal life, dummies! 

Jill doesn't come to mind when I read this paragraph. 

Now, Jessa....that's another story.  😁

[GeeGolly]

4 hours ago, Gemma Violet said:

Jill doesn't come to mind when I read this paragraph. 

Now, Jessa....that's another story.  😁

Oh my goodness Jessa is the queen of snippy retorts! 

Jill too has snapped back but in more gentle ways and also in preemptive ways. This last time she and Derick thought they were playing a big ole joke on the interwebs after Jill told Derick folks were commenting on him wearing flipflops in the snow. I don't think even Jessa would go to the lengths the Dillards did this time around.

And now a small town Oklahoma ADA has his, not even funny, snap back pic, front and center on his IG for all to see. 👀

[BetyBee]

One thing is certain. Jill's mothering experience is nothing like that of Mechelle, whom she grew up observing. Jill has no sister moms to help her. She can't even hang out at the Big House all day like Jessa.

It's interesting that she stopped showing the boys' faces at the same time they made this move and when Derick started working long hours. Something might have happened that frightened them about keeping the boys safe. There are people in the public who do crazy things.

Whatever they are doing education-wise, they're not breaking any laws. I guess I don't care how they choose to educate their kids as long as it doesn't include blanket training or wisdom booklets! I just hope Jill and the boys make some friends, preferably sweet friends, lol.

[GeeGolly]

The last face shot of either of the boys was 2 days before Josh's verdict. So over a year ago. I'm sure J&D didn't want any negative comments about Josh on any posts of the boys. They did do a family shot of the birth/gender announcements prior to moving and a family shot of Derick being sworn in, after the move.

I think most think its wise to limit pics of the boys on IG, but Jill's posts are usually all about the boys so it all feels a little incongruent. But either way she is allowing the boys more privacy than they had before.

[SMama]

1 minute ago, GeeGolly said:
But either way she is allowing the boys more privacy than they had before.

Jill is finding her way regarding what is appropriate or fair regarding her children’s privacy. She will stumble more than most because all she knows is what her parents modeled, exploit your children no matter the cost to their wellbeing.

I will give her credit for not pretending, like Jinger, that this was always the plan, even before they had children. It’s OK to live and learn, then adjust as we evolve. 

[GeeGolly]

5 minutes ago, SMama said:

Jill is finding her way regarding what is appropriate or fair regarding her children’s privacy. She will stumble more than most because all she knows is what her parents modeled, exploit your children no matter the cost to their wellbeing.

I will give her credit for not pretending, like Jinger, that this was always the plan, even before they had children. It’s OK to live and learn, then adjust as we evolve. 

Shit, Jinger said that? Felicity's face is all over their IGs. It wasn't until shortly after Evy Jo was born that they stopped posting kids pics.

[SMama]

4 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Shit, Jinger said that? Felicity's face is all over their IGs. It wasn't until shortly after Evy Jo was born that they stopped posting kids pics.

She said in an interview that she and Jeremy discussed keeping their children out of the public eye before they had them. I had to rewind because I couldn’t believe she would blatantly lie with a straight face. It must be in the Duggar DNA.  Sad the interviewer didn’t know or chose not to call her out. 

[SnapHappy]

50 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

The last face shot of either of the boys was 2 days before Josh's verdict. So over a year ago.

October 3rd, at the OK courthouse.  All 3 kids, full-face shot, with Dorkweed looking like a joke in an ill-fitting suit and Jill looking like she just rolled out of bed.  

Like everything else, they half-ass any attempt at consistency.  

[GeeGolly]

14 minutes ago, SnapHappy said:

October 3rd, at the OK courthouse.  All 3 kids, full-face shot, with Dorkweed looking like a joke in an ill-fitting suit and Jill looking like she just rolled out of bed.  

Like everything else, they half-ass any attempt at consistency.  

Yup, I mentioned the courthouse picture in my post.

44 minutes ago, SMama said:

She said in an interview that she and Jeremy discussed keeping their children out of the public eye before they had them. I had to rewind because I couldn’t believe she would blatantly lie with a straight face. It must be in the Duggar DNA.  Sad the interviewer didn’t know or chose not to call her out. 

Like yikers, Jinger. The internet is forever!

[floridamom]

If Jill sent their 2 older boys to school, she would get more done while they are gone. Her life would start earlier each day, but it would be an easier day IMO.

[libgirl2]

2 minutes ago, floridamom said:

If Jill sent their 2 older boys to school, she would get more done while they are gone. Her life would start earlier each day, but it would be an easier day IMO.

Yes it would. 

[AstridM]

18 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Y'all know I don't love these people.  But why should anyone have a problem if Jill has a job or what that "job" is. As long as I'm not forced to buy anything  or support them or that they are "on the dole" that's on them. Would I do it? No. Would I homeschool?  No.  Still wish they would have some epiphany about their odious beliefs 

When you open up your life to millions of strangers, you invite all kinds of opinions on how you live it 🤷‍♀️/

[Absolom]

Every time one of the reality show participants complains about attention during the show or afterward, I feel the urge to post that there is a super easy fix to their problem.  

[libgirl2]

1 hour ago, Absolom said:

Every time one of the reality show participants complains about attention during the show or afterward, I feel the urge to post that there is a super easy fix to their problem.  

It is different when it comes to the kids who don't ask to be on TV, but adults, yea. 

[Zella]

9 hours ago, Gemma Violet said:

Jill doesn't come to mind when I read this paragraph. 

Now, Jessa....that's another story.  😁

For sure, Jessa is the queen of making an ass out of herself with witty "clapbacks" that fail. But Jill and Derick aren't exempt from it. Derick does it more than Jill, but beyond the examples people have provided, I think her refusing to answer the school question is probably out of pissiness.

"Why do you keep asking me this question? Why can't you just enjoy my pics of me walking my dog?" "Well, Jill, because you kept posting about your kid being in school. That's what happens when you post tons of personal information online. People form parasocial relationships with you and ask you lots of invasive questions. They feel entitled to know all sorts of weirdly personal things about you because you've encouraged it for years." 

[Gemma Violet]

3 hours ago, Zella said:

That's what happens when you post tons of personal information online. People form parasocial relationships with you and ask you lots of invasive questions.

But there's no law that says Jill has to respond to any question.  She (or her siblings) can post a thousand photos or videos and she's still not obligated to answer anyone's questions.  Yes, she may lose viewers and get less clicks by not engaging, but that's up to her.  

[Zella]

32 minutes ago, Gemma Violet said:

But there's no law that says Jill has to respond to any question.  She (or her siblings) can post a thousand photos or videos and she's still not obligated to answer anyone's questions.  Yes, she may lose viewers and get less clicks by not engaging, but that's up to her.  

I never said she had to respond? But when you answer every other question except the ones about school, people are going to speculate and form opinions. They are just entitled to do that as Jill is to not respond. 

My point has never been about what Jill has to do. It's about the lack of boundaries she's established concerning her personal life. Once you've let people stamp all over those boundaries--and encouraged it and enabled it--you're in a losing battle to regain them and, in my opinion, it's either disingenuous or willfully ignorant to then wonder how you got in that predicament. 

Edited February 9, 2023 by Zella

[Salacious Kitty]

10 minutes ago, Zella said:

I never said she had to respond? But when you answer every other question except the ones about school, people are going to speculate and form opinions. They are just entitled to do that as Jill is to not respond. 

Jill is typically quite responsive. She responded to one of my posts a while back. I think I had a question. That she doesn't respond to the schooling questions is quite telling, IMO. 

[GeeGolly]

What I find odd is when Jill (all Duggars) have a change of heart they rarely, if ever, offer an explanation.

Jill frequently posted Izzy's home school lessons, then she frequently posted about Izzy's public school days and now she posts nothing. Why not make a post saying they decided not to post about boys' education any more? To me it seems logical the Dillards kept the boys home for this one school year, or they are permanently homeschooling at least throughout the K - 5 years.

If anyone wanted to easily stalk them they could just show up at the boys' swimming lessons, so I don't think its a safety thing.

[ozziemom]

It’s quite obvious on Instagram that Jill ignores all school questions. She will respond to almost everything else, even after time has passed from the original post. Some people directly ask, why don’t you answer about homeschooling?

[SMama]

56 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

Jill is typically quite responsive. She responded to one of my posts a while back. I think I had a question. That she doesn't respond to the schooling questions is quite telling, IMO. 

Yes it is, she is homeschooling.  

[lookeyloo]

Maybe all this mystery is what she wants. 

[lascuba]

3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

What I find odd is when Jill (all Duggars) have a change of heart they rarely, if ever, offer an explanation.

Jill frequently posted Izzy's home school lessons, then she frequently posted about Izzy's public school days and now she posts nothing. Why not make a post saying they decided not to post about boys' education any more? To me it seems logical the Dillards kept the boys home for this one school year, or they are permanently homeschooling at least throughout the K - 5 years.

If anyone wanted to easily stalk them they could just show up at the boys' swimming lessons, so I don't think its a safety thing.

They really do hate admitting they ever changed their minds about anything, don't they? I think it's partly growing up in a religion where everything is high stakes--they don't do xyz just because they want to, but because of very specific, godly reasons, and doing it another way is a sin; and partly growing up on TV where their family's lifestyle and choices and every public opinion became the thing they're famous for, and so could never go off script in public even though they weren't doing those things anymore. They don't owe the public any explanations for their choices, but it would probably make things less stressful for them if they could learn to say they changed their minds because they wanted to. Though I guess even that is fraught when the only way you can envision earning an income is through social media. 

For Jill specifically, she's always been the one who most obviously desired outside validation. She grew up the beloved perfect child, the darling of Duggar fans and haters alike. I don't think she over got over losing that and basques in the public's positive attention whenever she can get it. She loved the reactions when she sent Israel to school..she can't be eager for the inevitable backlash if she reveals she's homeschooling not "moving on" as much as people want her to. 

[Tdoc72]

On 2/9/2023 at 8:51 AM, SMama said:

She said in an interview that she and Jeremy discussed keeping their children out of the public eye before they had them. I had to rewind because I couldn’t believe she would blatantly lie with a straight face. It must be in the Duggar DNA.  Sad the interviewer didn’t know or chose not to call her out. 

I wonder if if was b/c the show was still on. Maybe in the contracts or something. After the show ended, wasn’t that when all of the now no/limited social media ones went all/mostly radio silent?

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Tdoc72 said:

I wonder if if was b/c the show was still on. Maybe in the contracts or something. After the show ended, wasn’t that when all of the now no/limited social media ones went all/mostly radio silent?

Jill was the first sibling to leave the show, (and the only one really, for the rest the show just ended) so she’s an interesting case but I think without a show to promote (and the income that came from that) those that weren’t really into public social media decided not to do it any more. 
 

I think Jinger & Jeremy reevaluated after more stuff come about regarding Josh etc, where as Josiah/Lauren, and Joe/Kendra were happy to not be obligated to promote the show any more. The other couples posts when they want. 

[ginger90]

[madpsych78]

Cute baby, but lots of beige.

[AstridM]

I’m thankful she didn’t say “blessed.” 😆

[Lady Whistleup]

I really wonder why the oatmeal color scheme has become such a thing on IG. It's not just an influencer thing either. I have a friend rocking the oatmeal color scheme with her 300 followers.

[jcbrown]

1 hour ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I really wonder why the oatmeal color scheme has become such a thing on IG. It's not just an influencer thing either. I have a friend rocking the oatmeal color scheme with her 300 followers.

I hate hate hate it. I like to have color around me and have lots of colorful original art plus colors other than beige on the walls. But I guess I know my own taste, rather than following whatever is "in."

Isn't it good for kids to have visual stimulation and wouldn't colors other than beige contribute to that?

[Kiss my mutt]

Yeah, I would think color would help with visual development as well.