Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Barb23]

Yeah, those two girls stuck with their "courtship rules book guideline" all the way to the altar, didn't they! They were and are head over heels "infatuated" like junior high school girls with their first school dance date. They are women in their early 20s; shame on their parents for stunting their childrens' development. Having a regular period cycle is the only criteria Michelle seems to need for saying that her girls are ready for marriage.

Someone ought to bring this up to them at one of their revivals/girls book signings. "Jill, at all your girl courting rules parties and in your book, you said that girls shouldn't be all giddy/infatuated/head over heels about a guy. You made it sound like this was the norm for all us "dating" girls but not you. If you believe this, would you please explain your actions with Derickdillard? For example, saying you thought you were in love with a guy you hadn't met yet, The countdown on your mirror showing days til he got home, acting like a 12 year old, the matching mugs showing him in Nepal, you in Arkansas, etc."

Oh if one of us could be that person. But we would probably be escorted right out.

[WTFFF]

I promise you if I ever meet this family I'll ask Jill when I get to her place in the lineup.  If they haven't thrown me out for asking them to make the book personalization out to me and my lesbian life partner. 

[Ljohnson1987]

Ben and Jessa's relationship seems so forced. At least Jill and Derrick actually have real feelings for each other.

[starfire]

Who's paying for Ben's college? Or did he receive an academic scholarship?

 

It's possible that he qualified for grants and other financial assistance. I am guessing his dad's income isn't all that high and his mom doesn't work, and they have 7 dependents, so Ben might've been able to get quite a bit if not all of his tuition and books covered that way.

[Barb23]

I promise you if I ever meet this family I'll ask Jill when I get to her place in the lineup. If they haven't thrown me out for asking them to make the book personalization out to me and my lesbian life partner.

Could you imagine the looks on their faces? That may make even Jillymuffin speechless.

[Fuzzysox]

So I'm thinking she should have had several bridal showers by now. How come there are no pictures yet? I'm sure her future mother in law would be all over having one for her especially if that meant that she would be photographed for People.

[Jellybeans]

I keep waiting for Ben to call off the wedding...

[LazyToaster]

I keep waiting for his Mom and Dad to come to their senses, hear from God, or something and go rescue their son!

[PityFree]

Are their registries still open?

[BradandJanet]

Are their registries still open?

Well, as much as I hate doing this, I've decided not to buy them anything, so I don't know if they're still soliciting. 

[Dr.Scully]

Oh dear god. I just checked the walmart and BBB registries. I had read about the greed; that they all totaled over $30,000, but I'd never actually looked closely. There's so much crap on the BBB one alone! Who registers for thousands of dollars of furniture?! A$700 self? Along with wall art, batteries, spices, and literally every item you could possibly need in a house. 2 wooden hamper sets, 1 for $60 and 1 for $80? How many welcome mats and luggage tags?

A bunch of stuff has been bought from BBB (only a couple from Walmart.) Something from each category, and about half of the kitchen stuff including the strawberry huller lol. Also about 16 cereal bowls - 6 red, but 4 in two other colors. To go with the 4 plates I guess.

For someone who can't cook Jessa sure asked for a lot of kitchen supplies. I expect to see some gourmet meals in upcoming seasons.

[msblossom]

Wasn't it Ben who helped Jessa fix that pie crust that she made for JB and Michelle? Maybe those kitchen supplies are for Ben. Jessa's still got Ben's gonads collecting dust somewhere in a Mason jar.

[GEML]

One thing I will say about Millennial fundamentalists that was absolutely not true 20 years ago is that the men cook. And they do some child care. Not saying that it's equitable, but it's not equitable in most secular households either. (More women take time off from work to handle doctor visits, handle school issues etc.)

[msblossom]

Well, that's some progress at least.

[KittyS]

I would love to see Jessa go to school in order to be licensed for doing hair. It wouldn't be a huge expense and she would have the ability to bring a little money in while (if) Bin finishes college. Also, it would give her the opportunity to interact with other women who aren't her sisters. She might be able to pick up a few useful tips on marriage and family planning while she's at it.

[bigskygirl]

She probably would only be allowed to cut hair of women who follows her beliefs, and one of her sisters would have to be with her in case a heathen try to defraud her.

[BradandJanet]

Once Jessa is a married woman, she won't need a job, so there's no reason to spend money on training for anything. Jill has shown us how that works. 

[msblossom]

Maybe over time Jessa could work on getting Michelle out of that 80's hairstyle (and perm) and help update her look. It would have to be super gradual bc Michelle and JB are really attached to that awful hairstyle. :(

[cereality]

Does Jessa already know how to do hair or do we just think it would be up her alley? If she has some natural talent at it, but her family/Ben won't allow for schooling to get a license -- couldn't she still make some money at it by doing hair out of the house or doing hair for wedding parties? They know a ton of fundie families many with marriageable age daughters. These families aren't wealthy so I doubt they're hitting the local hair salons to get hair done for entire bridal parties, but they may be willing to pay a few hundred bucks in total if someone semi-professional could do it. Her family has celebrity status in that cult anyway, so I'd imagine people would love to welcome a Duggar to their wedding. I feel like there are options, but Jessa isn't the enterprising type; she really strikes me as the "I'll sit home 8 hrs a day eating bon bons while my man makes the money, 30 min before he comes home I'll throw some TV dinners in the oven, and in the hours he's home I'll show him who is in charge on any and every topic though in return for all this, he gets daily action."

[Micks Picks]

I'm the survivor of a recent fire disaster and I've been moved by the insurance company into a hotel and then a week ago into a rental for 9-10 months.  I went to Target, BBB, dollar store, Goodwill, etc.  Holy Shit.  I got a the smallest but fair quality fry pan and a 1 and 2 quart pot from Target.  Cost a fortune.  Looked at 2 slice toasters.  I would like one but not at 39 bucks, I think they had one off brand for 20.95 but I had a serious case of sticker shock.  I got cheap towels from BBB as well as one blanket and comforter, cheap.  But still a heck of a lot of money.  I needed an air cleaner too.  I'm in the poor house.  I still need a lot, but know now I should have had a rental registry and invited everybody in the country.   I got a couple of tables from Goodwill, and spoons and spatulas from dollar store.  Then had to go to Petco for my dog.  I forgot what the bill was, but it was enormous.  The bowels burned up as did his toys, and everything.  My sis had been caring for him while I was hoteling it, but he and I are only partly resupplied and I can't believe what this cost.  I have some tops donated to me, but I really should get a registry, no party like Jessa.  Heck, she isn't providing anything but ice cream anyway, and the fundie families couldn't afford the gifts, so just on-line is the way to go.  I've learned a lot from Jill and Jessa.

Make that Bowls, not bowels!  We were not hurt, our bowels are ok.  And the cheaper toaster was 29.95.  The last one I bought I remember clearly was 10 bucks.

[Sew Sumi]

So I'm thinking she should have had several bridal showers by now. How come there are no pictures yet? I'm sure her future mother in law would be all over having one for her especially if that meant that she would be photographed for People.

Bin's family had a shower for THEM (not just a bridal shower) today. Pics on Seewald family members' facebook pages. Oh, a good sleuth also confirmed that Bin moved out on APRIL 29th. Jessica Seewald's comments on her FB page are the clincher. So, what we saw on the show was totally re-enacted about two weeks later, around Mother's Day and graduation time: Jennifer Hartono graduated from PCC and the Duggars hosted her family from Indonesia during their time in the States.

 

Nice work, Show. I knew the timeline was off, but now we have pics of farewell parties to confirm the lies.

[starfire]

If they really do serve ice cream at the reception, I wonder if it will be those little pre-made cups with the little wooden spoons you buy in bags. I can see them doing something classy like that.

Edited October 20, 2014 by starfire

[leighroda]

Ice cream is not the worst idea I've ever heard... But I would want to rent a soft serve machine (if that's even possible)

[PityFree]

I have seen Pinterest posts that suggest scooping ice cream ahead of time and keeping the scoops in the freezer on wax paper lined cookie trays until party time. However, that is too classy for the Duggars. My younger sister had ice cream cake for her wedding (with a tiny tiered cake for cutting) and that was awesome. But again, way too classy for the Duggars. Soft serve only works if you have people who know how to serve it. I like to imagine that I could charge JB a pretty penny to use my first-ever-job-at-DQ soft serve cone making skills at Jessa's reception. 

 

Also, I took a good look at some pics of Ben and have concluded that Jessa could do wayyyyyy better looks-wise. Fundy-wise? No idea. But she could have found a much better looking guy who was Christian if she had put any effort into it.

Edited October 20, 2014 by PityFree

[Adeejay]

But she [Jessa] could have found a much better looking guy who was Christian if she had put any effort into it.

 

Maybe not.  In an interview with People magazine, Jessa said that her Dad gets approached all the by “jerks and weirdos” wanting to court his daughters.  Seemed for whatever reason, young Mr. Seewald was the very first to make the cut.  Go figure!

[mimionthebeach]

Also, I took a good look at some pics of Ben and have concluded that Jessa could do wayyyyyy better looks-wise. Fundy-wise? No idea. But she could have found a much better looking guy who was Christian if she had put any effort into it.

I don't even know where she'd look. It's not really her choice, is it? Her job is to sit pretty and wait for some godly man to approach Boob with an offer to take a girl off his hands. The Boob puts said man under a microscope for a few months and if he passes the godly manhood tests, Boob offers up his daughter, apparently along with a job or a house (in some cultures aka a dowry). 

 

The girls have even said it's wrong for them to essentially put any effort into finding Prince Charming. God has someone for them, they're just to wait until Boob "agrees" that THIS is the one god has for them. 'Cause Boob knows this shit, right? He's their authority with the straight line to god, who spends a whole hell of a lot of time playing matchmaker for folks, when he's not taking care of which high school football team should with the "big game", or laying it on someone's heart to make some minuscule "life-altering" decision. 

[GEML]

There are stories about some fundamentalist groups requiring a dowry - I've heard it should provide for the couple's first home. The man supplies the business. But I don't know for sure if the Duggars do this or if it's Gothard approved.

[msblossom]

I am surprised that none of the Bates boys have shown interest in any of the Duggars. Maybe bc they live in TN and courting a Duggar long distance wouldn't really work?

[Ljohnson1987]

Smuggar and Anna did it. Long distance is possible.

[cereality]

I am surprised that none of the Bates boys have shown interest in any of the Duggars. Maybe bc they live in TN and courting a Duggar long distance wouldn't really work?

I don't get a sense that the Bates parents and kids like the Duggars as much as the Duggars think they do. Now that doesn't stop Lawson from thinking Jinger is cute (or whoever -- don't know the exact ages) and pursuing it anyway, but the Bates kids seem to have lives -- within what is allowed of them and what's available in their area -- and as they've gotten older, they seem a bit irritated at the Duggar bus pulling up and staying for days on end as they have to then entertain. I feel like there have even been shots on camera where a teen has said things "oh it's just the Duggars" -- not meaning for cameras to catch it. The Bates aren't against long distance courtship though. Zach and Whitney were the only ones who were local and that's only bc they met at the Sonic where she waitressed. Chad is from Okla and moved to Tn. for Erin. Brandon is in Michigan now and he and Michela go back and forth for courting purposes. John is in Fl and traveled for courting and Alysaa moved to his town after marriage.

[msblossom]

Good point LJohnson1987 and cereality.

cereality, I hear you and I get that sense too. Although, maybe it has more to do with some of the Bates caring less for JB and Michelle and some of the awkward and bratty kids. I could see Lawson (22 yrs old) and Jinjer (almost 21) being attracted to each other and of course they have music in common. I would love for Josiah to move to TN and maybe go to school and/or work for the Bates and possibly hooking up with their 18 y/o daughter -- I can't remember her name she's the really pretty and natural looking one with long straight hair, very petite.

Edited October 20, 2014 by msblossom

[riverblue22]

We have had ice cream parties at work and it can be very messy.  I can't imagine putting something like that on for hundreds of people.  If it was me I think I would hire a local ice cream store or caterers to manage it.

[msblossom]

Yes but that would require them to pay out of pocket. I'm sure they're thinking they could just get Jana and some fundie friends to do it for free. Use Jana and save the difference.

[wanderwoman]

I'm the survivor of a recent fire disaster and I've been moved by the insurance company into a hotel and then a week ago into a rental for 9-10 months.  I went to Target, BBB, dollar store, Goodwill, etc.  Holy Shit.  I got a the smallest but fair quality fry pan and a 1 and 2 quart pot from Target.  Cost a fortune.  Looked at 2 slice toasters.  I would like one but not at 39 bucks, I think they had one off brand for 20.95 but I had a serious case of sticker shock.  I got cheap towels from BBB as well as one blanket and comforter, cheap.  But still a heck of a lot of money.  I needed an air cleaner too.  s.

Wow. I'm so sorry to hear you had a fire. Didn't this happen to another poster here? I think it was just about the time we were talking about Jill's registry. The Duggar girls need to stop getting married or we will all be homeless. Kidding.

I know it's off topic. But, since you mentioned it, when our neighbors house burned down, their adjuster basically handed them a check for $30,000 and told them to restock. That was just for appliances and kitchen ware. Then, they just presented photos to show things like furniture and bedding, stuff like that, and their insurance cut them another check. I guess it depends on your coverage. There's no shame in buying from Goodwill, though. I guess insurance companies figure the stuff was used when it burnt and adjust accordingly? What a nightmare?

[Micks Picks]

Well I'm in a rental now, so not resupplying with great stuff.  Adjusters are just getting in and most is a loss.  Haven't seen any figures yet.  The rental is partly furnished and the reason they are SO Long adjusting is because abatement had to be done, next clean up and tearing down remaining walls, redoing all electrical and then the walls, floors, cabinets, blah blah so many months, nearly a year, down the road.

[wanderwoman]

Well I'm in a rental now, so not resupplying with great stuff. Adjusters are just getting in and most is a loss. Haven't seen any figures yet. The rental is partly furnished and the reason they are SO Long adjusting is because abatement had to be done, next clean up and tearing down remaining walls, redoing all electrical and then the walls, floors, cabinets, blah blah so many months, nearly a year, down the road.

I'm so sorry to hear that. :(

Anyone else see their other registries via the links on the knot? If u thought the BBB list was spending, wait until you see the TV they want on amazon. I'm also not shocked to see that the books that will grace their home are only cookbooks. They cleaned house with the Target registry!

Edited October 20, 2014 by wanderwoman

[Barb23]

Even tho the girl's suitors have to go thru Boob, I don't think he has much confidence in himself that he has chosen the right one. Remember he looked like he was going to throw up when Derick & Bin asked him permission to court the girls. He had the same look when Derick asked his permission to ask Jill to marry him. Boob even said that him & J'chelle were expecting Derick to ask permission so what was with his hesitation & look of surprise?

I'm sure it has to do with his own security issues. He's probably wondering if the girls would blame him if their marriages failed because he was the one that chose the men for them, by way of God.

[DangerousMinds]

So where the hell are Jessa and Bin going to put their stash? 

[msblossom]

Return it for CA$H or sell it on eBay. Remember, they want to live in a cozy little cottage and won't have room for all that merchandise. My best guess is they plan to bankroll those gifts for cash. Gifts from fans/strangers hold no sentimental value, least of all for Jessa -- that girl is cold.

Edited October 22, 2014 by msblossom

[Fuzzysox]

So where the hell are Jessa and Bin going to put their stash? 

In Boob's warehouse of course. I'm surprised that Jill and Derick weren't given the keys to the place instead of going to an auction to buy furniture. Doesn't that warehouse have a ton of stuff they could have picked up free and saved the difference??

[Mountainair]

We had cake and ice cream at our wedding and IIRC, the reception hall kept a big tub of ice cream in their freezer and when it was time for cake and ice cream they brought it out and we had a couple of church ladies serve it up on the plates/bowls.

Now, I know the Duggars don't spend money but my four year old recently attended a birthday party downtown at a pottery place and the parents of the birthday girl paid for an ice cream truck to park outside so you could order whatever they provided. Thought that was a neat idea :)

[GEML]

I'm guessing that the PEOPLE money goes directly to Jill/Derrick and Jessa/Ben. And that is what they will use to pay for the wedding and the honeymoon, etc.

[msblossom]

Not a bad idea, really. I give the Duggars two thumbs up if that's how they're paying for their nuptials. So many people go into a marriage with wedding debt if say the bride's family give the bride five or ten thousand dollars to put toward the wedding instead of footing the entire affair -- which doesn't go very far unless it's simple and small. Typically the Duggars and Bates have a wedding reception in the church fellowship hall with cake, punch, nuts, and coffee vs a wedding dinner and alcohol at a specific venue which is where the majority of the budget goes to. I'd personally rather see people go for simpler weddings and use the budget on a down payment for a house.

[floridamom]

I bet Jessa and Bin Bulb's wedding are filled with recycled wedding stuff...Anna's bridesmaid's dresses, Derick's groomsmens' suits and Jill's decorations. She just doesn't give a damn about those things, or Jim Bob is too cheap to shell out yet again so soon for another daughter's wedding...Another thought, of course Jordyn looks disheveled, her hair not combed and that poor kid can't speak English properly, as I didn't realize she was Jessa's buddy...we all know how "into" the buddy system, child care and "work" in general Jessa is....I'm glad at least perfect Jill noticed Jordyn enough to give her little sister some affection from time to time as I understand....

I'll cut Bin/Ben a little slack right now and not dislike him too much yet as he is still just a 19 year old horny kid and hasn't had the time to complete his training or education yet and he has to "remain pure" and take cold showers, go for runs for miles at a time...he's just too anxious to discover bliss with Jessa....the guy will do anything to be able to actually touch her....but they'll be a flash in the pan, IMO. He needs to assert his authority with that girl and soon.... as he will be wanting "whatever she envisions" for the rest of his life...Bin will discover that Jessa's "secret garden" isn't unique among females sooner or later...

[DangerousMinds]

Bin Bulb!!

[Fuzzysox]

Bin Bulb!!

LOVE it!! Thanks Floridamom.

 

I saw pictures of the Binessa wedding shower on the Pickles FB page. Looks like a nice affair and her future mother in law dressed nicely for the affair unlike MEchelle who always looks like she rolled  out of the laundry room with the ugliest, most wrinkled unflattering clothes she could find. Does this woman even own anything that isn't a denim skirt?

Edited October 23, 2014 by Fuzzysox

[Joe Jitsu913]

LOVE it!! Thanks Floridamom.

I saw pictures of the Binessa wedding shower on the Pickles FB page. Looks like a nice affair and her future mother in law dressed nicely for the affair unlike MEchelle who always looks like she rolled out of the laundry room with the ugliest, most wrinkled unflattering clothes she could find. Does this woman even own anything that isn't a denim skirt?

What do you mean? Michelle is all about the fashion and the bling!

[Micks Picks]

I still think Bin Bulb may haul off and smack Jessa.  He knows he's dim and has shown temper and irritation several times on camera when he thinks he is being made to look bad.  I really have the feeling he can be a potential abuser, and at the very least a verbal abuser if he obtains good speaking skills.

[joanofarch4]

I totally agree; you can almost see the wheels painfully cranking in his brain trying to figure out what she means by certain snarky things she says, and - despite the frozen grin on his face - he seems none too pleased to think she may be secretly (or not so secretly) ridiculing him.  I think she considers him "adorably dim" now, but that will no doubt turn to full-on contempt when the new wears off.  And, in one of her THs about future husbands, she specifically mentioned that she has a particular fear or aversion to seeing anger in a man.  "Warning, warning, Will Robinson..."

Edited October 23, 2014 by joanofarch4

[Adeejay]

 Folks like us on snark sites like this one may not want to accept it, but there will ALWAYS be the "we're right and everybody else is wrong" religious extremists who will pay whatever money they have to see any and all of the Duggars. 

 

I couldn't agree more.  They are those that worship the ground the Duggars walk on.  A lot of people watch their show, buy their books and go to their appearances. Based on his educational background, Josh isn't qualified for a position that pays $45,000 and yet, he is earning $170,000.  The most expensive thing on Erin Bates' bridal registry was a pot for $59.95, and on her wedding day, it was still on the list.  Jessa on the other hand, requested much bigger ticket items and she seems to be getting them, including matching robes which cost $90 each.