Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[PJ123]

I remember Jessa and Ben talking about adoption.   i would bet that after this very complicated birth, that will be the game plan going forward.  They will say that "god showed us that adoption is the route he wants us to take"

 

Uh no...It makes me sick to my stomach when I hear them talking about adoption.  Oh I am sure they will go though the motions for the cameras but no they will not adopt.  There are too many things like having a steady income, vetted by a social worker, etc.  And come on, would they even adopt (or foster) a child of color?  They could do a private adoption with a birth family, but who would allow their child to be raised by cult?  Would they even allow visitation/open adoption?  Ugh.

 

/edited for double posting

Edited November 9, 2015 by PJ123

[duggarshow]

I personally have never, ever met a single friend, co-worker, relative, or neighbor who did not have a girl name and a boy name chosen WAY before delivey.

 

I have, but I always found that confusing. One of my sisters was married to a man whose mother didn't have a name picked out at birth. He had to amend his original birth certificate in order to obtain a marriage license when he proposed to my sister. His original one - all those years later - still read Baby Boy XXXXX. I thought that was just goofy.

[Tabbygirl521]

Uh no...It makes me sick to my stomach when I hear them talking about adoption. Oh I am sure they will go though the motions for the cameras but no they will not adopt. There are too many things like having a steady income, vetted by a social worker, etc. And come on, would they even adopt (or foster) a child of color? They could do a private adoption with a birth family, but who would allow their child to be raised by cult? Would they even allow visitation/open adoption? Ugh.

/edited for double posting

This is going to sound crass, which is not my intent, BUT. I sometimes wonder if there are girls among the Gothardites who come up pregnant when not married. I wonder this because of JimBob et al seeming a bit blasé about abuse - you know, "so many" families they know have Josh-like problems "and even worse." So I wonder if private adoptions might stem from this IF it is true.

Or would the "sins of the father" get in the way? I honestly am a bit curious about all this. If not, then Ben and Jessa would likely be considered great adoptive parents by Gothardites.

And is it true that Gothard was adopted? He must be a real self-hater, if so, given his attitude toward adoption (which Jessa has apparently rejected, so good for her!). This may be why Gothard developed his sin sin sin! belief system.

It will be interesting to see if Ben and Jessa do express plans to adopt, especially if they come to fruition. When the adopted kids hear grandma crowing about delivering every one, I wonder how they will feel?

Edited November 9, 2015 by Tabbygirl521

[doodlebug]

 

Josie's bills were probably astronomical, but they were on the TLC pay roll then. I can imagine JB paying the bill out of his bank account rather than purchasing health coverage.



 

All medical costs for a micropreemie like Josie are covered by the federal government under Medicaid because of the huge, often multimillion dollar, costs involved.  Whether they wanted it or not, Josie's entire hospital stay was paid for by the taxpayers, same as every other micropreemie.  This is because insurance companies could conceivably go bankrupt paying the massive bills these babies accrue.  Same thing goes for renal failure patients getting dialysis; its all paid by the federal government, whether you're Bill Gates or homeless.

 

As for Jessa, and even Anna; I have a feeling that either the local hospital or the providers there don't want any part of TLC filming during labor and delivery.  Many hospitals, including the one where I practice, do not permit filming of the actual birth because there have been malpractice suits where these videos, often heavily edited, were presented as evidence of wrongdoing.  If you watch A Baby Story, you know those are all years old; I don't know when the last new batch was filmed but its been a while.

 

  When Anna opted out of a hospital delivery because her doctor was going to be out of town; I presume it was because the doctor(s) covering in her absence refused to allow them to film him/her during the birth. My hospital's policy is that no one, not doctors, not nurses, not lab techs, not cafeteria workers, can be filmed without their consent, no matter what the family wants.  If they are told to turn off the cameras, off they go or security will remove the offending party from the premises.  I oresume that TLC's paycheck to the Duggars involves letting them film anything TLC wants, which would be virtually impossible to do at a hospital.  This isn't grandma filming with a cellphone, after all.  TLC requires multiple camera people with huge cameras, lights and microphones.  No hospital is going to put up with that, especially since I am sure they were not going to be compensated for it.

 

personally have never, ever met a single friend, co-worker, relative, or neighbor who did not have a girl name and a boy name chosen WAY before delivey.

I run into people who haven't made a final decision all the time.  Most have narrowed it down to a couple names, but not always.  My own sister gave birth to two boys before having a girl.  She named her with the girl's name they had in reserve for 11 years (and they knew her gender when my sister was 15 weeks pregnant; I did the ultrasound myself).  When my niece was about a week old, my sister called me wanting to know how one goes about changing a baby's name on the birth certificate.  They'd decided that their long cherished girl's name wasn't right for her and they changed it and never looked back.

Edited November 9, 2015 by doodlebug

[JenCarroll]

At this point, I would just like some confirmation that Jessa is all right.

[yogi2014L]

Bin and Jessa will never adopt, unless it is through private adoption with some knocked up fundie teenager. 3 more kids they will probably be broke, miserable and not looking to add on to their plate

 

I hope Jessa is ok. Who knows, maybe this traumatic birth will knock some sense into her and Bin.

Some women flat out refuse to get pregnant again after having traumatic birth experiences. 

 

Also I would be LIVID if my family was passing around my kid/posting selfies when I was in the hospital. IDK. Not only did she have to be rushed to the hospital she couldnt even enjoy some time alone with her brand new baby. Then he gets plastered all over the internet.

 

I hope she is out by now- hospitals nowadays want you out ASAP so if she hasn't been released yet it means she probably had serious complications. 

 

ETA; If she can figure out how NOT to get pregnant, that is. LOL

Edited November 9, 2015 by yogi2014L

[barbedwire]

Yes, I do believe Josie's medical bills were paid by taxpayers.  I wish JimBoob would be honest about that and say that, but no, we are still evil taxpyers and everyone should pay for their own things.

[Kiss my mutt]

At least Bill Gates would have made a hefty donation or start a foundation if the medical costs were to be covered. JB would treat it as any other freebie like the kids eat free special or trying to talk his way out of paying at the cafeteria.

[PJ123]

It will be interesting to see if Ben and Jessa do express plans to adopt, especially if they come to fruition. When the adopted kids hear grandma crowing about delivering every one, I wonder how they will feel?

 

Good points.  Again I believe this is mostly for the cameras.  That poor child will be paraded as "...and here is our adopted kid. Aren't we wonderful?"  Then after the cameras are off the kid will have to fend for themselves.  Most adopted kids really resent this attitude.  They are human beings, not for show.  Sadly, they would not be the only ones to do this.  There is a small, but vocal group of very religious folks who think by just adopting (and ignoring everything else that goes with it)  they get brownie points with their deity and community so its all about them and not the kid.  Then they are shocked and upset that the kid does not behave like they expected or it grows older and has lost their "cuteness".  Seen it too many times and this just smells like what Ben and Jessa are thinking.  I hope not for the kid's sake.

 

Watch for this as well if they go forward - another big thing in the adoption world - fund raising.  And that worked out so well for The Dullards and their missionary trip.

 

/Adoptive mom here and knowing what we went through and what our child faces every day just irks me when people like Ben and Jessa are flippant about it.

[Marigold]

So, no new pictures of Jessa?

I had a 9.13 baby and I was very sore, stiched and miserable.

Guess she isn't picture ready?

I can't wait to see how much of the birth is edited out...Jessa is prissy...no way she is going to let anything gruesome be on TV. Gotta give Anna credit there...she let it all hang out!

[sometimesy]

Maybe there is a name auction? Starbucks Seewald..Uggs Duggar Seewald (that has a nice ring), Lowe Seewald?

[barbedwire]

LOL!!!  "Starbucks Seewald" and they can call him "Star" for short.

[BitterApple]

I can see it going either way. Jessa is incredibly vain, so her ego likely took a hit when she couldn't out-birth Jill. Therefore she might want the epi highly edited to make it seem like she dropped Quincy and went by Starbucks an hour later to grab a PSL.

On the other hand, drama and misery brings big ratings and ratings equal money and freebies. If showcasing the gory parts keeps her flush for a couple years, she may be willing to throw it all out there.

Edited November 9, 2015 by BitterApple

[JenCarroll]

I can see it going either way. Jessa is incredibly vain, so her ego likely took a hit when she couldn't out-birth Jill. Therefore she might want the epi highly edited to make it seem like she dropped Quincy and went by Starbucks an hour later to grab a PSL.

On the other hand, drama and misery brings big ratings and ratings equal money and freebies. If showcasing the gory parts keeps her flush for a couple years, she may be willing to throw it all out there.

It's not going to be up to Jessa. I'm sure her contract doesn't give her editorial control; she doesn't have anything like the clout she'd have needed to get that kind of concession. This is TLC's call all the way.

[Jellybeans]

Per speculation on my part but maybe she lost her uterus- common if you can't stop the bleeding. I don't wish anything bad on anyone so I hope she is ok. Don't plan to watch any new shows but will follow everyone's reactions. :-)

[ChicksDigScars]

LOL!!!  "Starbucks Seewald" and they can call him "Star" for short.

 

 

Nah, they're saving that for the first daughter. 

[Tabbygirl521]

Per speculation on my part but maybe she lost her uterus- common if you can't stop the bleeding. I don't wish anything bad on anyone so I hope she is ok. Don't plan to watch any new shows but will follow everyone's reactions. :-)

That would be very sad for anyone, but in their world, I can't even imagine the psychological hit a woman would take. I hope she is well, with no complications. I wish the family would just issue a quick update. They may feel that snarkers don't deserve one, but they do have many fans who must be worried as well.

[Marigold]

Count me in with the group that hopes Jessa is OK.

I am assuming it's because she is not picture ready but it's 3 days. Jill had a freaking C-section and had pictures up of herself etc.

Jessa is all about the selfies so why no pictures? Unless she is trying to build up the drama?

Those Duggars are so tricky...they will do anything for media coverage.

Is there a name for what happened to Jessa?

The placenta detached and then she started to bleed excessively.

It's not placenta abruption, is it? The baby was already out so I don't think that's the right name for it.

amyone know?

Edited November 9, 2015 by Marigold

[sometimesy]

Count me in with the group that hopes Jessa is OK.

I am assuming it's because she is not picture ready but it's 3 days. Jill had a freaking C-section and had pictures up of herself etc.

Jessa is all about the selfies so why no pictures? Unless she is trying to build up the drama?

Those Duggars are so tricky...they will do anything for media coverage.

 

She had one pic that was edited. The silence is probably for People/TLC reasons.

[Marigold]

I hope it's TLC related.

How long did Jill wait to post?

I remember we saw the lovely pictures of jill and Derick barefoot in the hospital. Plus all the fun ones with the Jill headband...who can forget that???

Maybe it took a while for her to post.

These Duggar pregnancies take so long...I feel like Israel should be 3 years old already.

[questionfear]

At this point, I would just like some confirmation that Jessa is all right.

Me too. I have to admit, I've been stalking this thread hoping for news of a selfie on instagram or something that shows she's back to semi-normal. Even if they're holding off on lots of pics for TLC/People, I can't imagine Jessa shying from the temptation to post selfies of herself...I really hope she's ok, because as much as I dislike the family and how they conduct themselves, I also don't wish bodily harm on anyone. 

[NewDigs]

Perhaps Michelle was there holding up a big privacy sheet so Jessa wouldn't have to see the doctor during the pelvic exam/repair.

We need Billy Mays:

"Is this an ordinary sheet? NO! It's a privacy curtain! It's a room divider!

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! Look! It's a backdrop for a GlamourShot!"

Fortunately for her there is that Gothard 40 day abstinence rule after delivering a boy. Maybe she'll be able to stretch it out until Christmas.

I'm probably going to be sorry for asking but, why 40 days? Does this have something to do with Noah?

And what's the abstinence rule if unto them a baby girl is born?

[Marigold]

http://www.merckmanuals.com/home/women-s-health-issues/complications-of-labor-and-delivery/excessive-uterine-bleeding-after-delivery

Sounds like Jessa with Michelle massaging the uterus and the 911 operator teliing her to wrap the placenta.

Post partu

[Sew Sumi]

Girl = 80 days abstinence. Old testament, if biblical at all.

That headband pic was up no later than the day after Izzy was born. I think it went up same day.

[lookeyloo]

do they ever consider that "what God provides" or any variation thereof, could really mean not one a year?  Like praying for something.  sometimes the answer is No!  Maybe that's not what God had in mind for any of them, and will only provide one or two for example.  Does God want them to keep trying and drop one a year?  Is that what they are thinking?  Or just live naturally and take what happens. Not trying and not trying not to.  No charting fertility times on the frig.  

[Marigold]

I think the Duggars TRY to get pregnant.

Other families (like myself) do not use birth control but do not TRY to get pregnant either. I think there is a wide vareity of what people think and feel. I know plenty of religious people who don't use birth control and are not baby hoarders. In fact, no one even discusses it. It's not a big issue in our lives.

Duggars obviously TRY to get pregnant. Michelle and Jim Bob are nuts. They truly get a thrill out of saying WE HAVE 19 CHILDREN AND I DELIVERED EVERY ONE OF THEM.

(like Kody on SW with his constant blathering on about having FOUR wives. No one cares)

Edited November 9, 2015 by Marigold

[neural-plasticity]

I hope it's TLC related.

How long did Jill wait to post?

I remember we saw the lovely pictures of jill and Derick barefoot in the hospital. Plus all the fun ones with the Jill headband...who can forget that???

Maybe it took a while for her to post.

These Duggar pregnancies take so long...I feel like Israel should be 3 years old already.

 

I'm pretty sure Jill had a little clip running on TLC THE DAY AFTER she had Izzy. If not the day after, it was definitely within that week. I just remember thinking to myself, wow that was really soon after having that baby. Jessa has been much more quiet. I know Jessa is a little more private than Jill (e.g., first kiss wasn't filmed, etc.), so that may be why. Or it could be because she still hasn't recovered. I thought she looked surprisingly good in the picture with the baby and Ben but I also haven't seen her look that exhausted ever. So I'm sure she's probably hurting (I mean, who wouldn't?) & if she had serious enough complications that she may never be able to deliver a child again, I can't imagine the psychological toll that's probably having on her right now. 

[Marigold]

That's true...Jill did post the video of her in the hospital and a C-section is maybe a 3 day stay? So she got moving pretty quickly on the postings!

Plus TLC showed that video after a regular episode too.

Jessa is more private...but Ben loves to ramble. Jessa does love her vain selfies!

Could be any number of things. Stupid Dggars...no one can figure them out.

[JoanArc]

 

That would be very sad for anyone, but in their world, I can't even imagine the psychological hit a woman would take.

In time, Jessa might discover she's more than her reproductive capacity.

 

I'm not watching a megachurch funeral for Jessa's uterus. I know they'd have one.

[NewDigs]

I might watch that.

As long as it's in a closed casket.

Edited November 9, 2015 by NewDigs

[Missy Vixen]

I remember Jessa and Ben talking about adoption.   i would bet that after this very complicated birth, that will be the game plan going forward.  They will say that "god showed us that adoption is the route he wants us to take"

They're not able to (legally) adopt by any stretch of the imagination. They don't have jobs. (A "reality TV star" is not a job, especially when there's no ongoing series.) Bin is too young to qualify as a foster parent in the state of Arkansas, let alone adopting a child. They've been married one year. They belong to a cult that advocates corporal punishment. Considering what is still happening with the Justin Harris case, it's hard to believe that the state of Arkansas would allow an adoption to go forward, and private adoption is hugely expensive.

 

One can only imagine that Benessa will insist they are still "adopting", but I look forward to seeing when Baby #2 makes his or her appearance. One has to believe that Jessa Blessa won't be in a rush to repeat this experience.

[JoanArc]

 

private adoption is hugely expensive.

The People exclusive $ would cover/mot all of that.

[OhioMom]

The Duggars seem to be playing fast and loose with the details yet again. The brown towel pics are staged to clearly look like the baby was born at home. I'm guessing the Duggars don't want to admit they and their inadequately trained midwives fucked up yet again and it was those evil, heathen doctors who had to step in and save the day.

So far the Duggar girls are 0 for 2 on the homebirthin'. Time for a new game plan, ladies.

That bolded part up there reminds me of Sister Wives, where Robyn had her ex husband taken out of the family photo with the wee kids, and had Kody put there, instead.  Odd.

[Missy Vixen]

The People exclusive $ would cover/mot all of that.

They still can't prove a steady income. I'd also love to be a fly on the wall during the home visit; imagine the fun when these two have to answer questions that have nothing to do with "Jesus" or "Bible".

[Ljohnson1987]

James Michael Seewald? Why do all of these girls feel like they need to honor their pervy father? I expected Jessa to be a little  more creative. His name is the opposite of Michael's. Creative,  Jessa.

[Sew Sumi]

Where did you see that?

[Ljohnson1987]

It's on Tumblr. Listening to J'Chelle's 911 call. She sounds like a robot. Show  some concern for your daughter!

[GeeGolly]

I too, hope Jessa is all right.

 

Of all the Duggars and fame, Jessa is right up there with JB & Josh (not including Joshgate 1 & 2). All three have mentioned things they have done, and haven't done, with their show in mind. Even in the last show before the scandals, Jessa was giving Anna dirty looks for revealing that the 4th baby (Meredith) was going to have an M name.

 

I'm hoping Jessa is being quiet to gain interest, and not because the delivery is worse than what we already know, especially for a female who has been raised to believe her sole purpose in life is to birth babies.

[TomServo]

I have a hard time imagining a home study being approved for a family who fully intends ahead of time to put the child's life on television unless they are only interested in infants, and maybe not even then.  That transitional period of coming to a new home is difficult enough without also being part of a circus side-show.  Most (not all) adoptive parents I know advocate even limiting visits from friends and relatives for a while.

So, oddly enough, the TLC gravy-train coming to a halt might make it more likely for them to be able to adopt.

[kokapetl]

Doesn't adoption cost like tens of thousands of dollars? I can't see People magazine paying quite that much for the photos of a nonwhite adopted child of a cable reality tv star. Jessa should stick with what she's got and trot out "my baby heartache" style tales of woe to People. She also really needs to work with what she currently has, because she honestly probably doesn't want, nor is it feasible for her to become reality tv interesting by having 8+ kids à la Michelle.

[Mollie]

Count me in with the group that hopes Jessa is OK.

I am assuming it's because she is not picture ready but it's 3 days. Jill had a freaking C-section and had pictures up of herself etc.

Jessa is all about the selfies so why no pictures? Unless she is trying to build up the drama?

Those Duggars are so tricky...they will do anything for media coverage.

Is there a name for what happened to Jessa?

The placenta detached and then she started to bleed excessively.

It's not placenta abruption, is it? The baby was already out so I don't think that's the right name for it.

amyone know?

 

There's a doctor quoted in this article that gives reasons for hemorrhaging after childbirth:

http://www.inquisitr.com/2553674/obstetrician-condemns-duggar-family-daughters-for-homebirths

 

If the bleeding cannot be stopped any other way, they will do a hysterectomy to save the mother's life.  Apparently you can bleed to death in five minutes if the bleeding cannot be stopped.

[Purpose to defraud]

We didn't. We had our preferences, but was discharged late from the hospital because we didn't get the birth certificate information turned in on time.

I think the reason the information was leaked so weirdly was because Jim Bob and the Seewalds made back room deals after the delivery on who could release what. Obviously the trauma became the bigger story over the birth itself. So the Seewald's keep quiet about the failed homebirth, but they get to "announce" the birth.

No wonder they were pissed about Ben's sister letting the word out.

[BitterApple]

Don't throw tomatoes at me, but I think James Michael is a really nice name. *ducks and runs for cover*

[Mollie]

We need Billy Mays:

"Is this an ordinary sheet? NO! It's a privacy curtain! It's a room divider!

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! Look! It's a backdrop for a GlamourShot!"

I'm probably going to be sorry for asking but, why 40 days? Does this have something to do with Noah?

And what's the abstinence rule if unto them a baby girl is born?

 

It's 40 days for a son and 80 days for a daughter.  from the Bible in Leviticus 12: 1 – 5

It is believed to be because of different hormonal changes involved in the mother when a daughter is born and carrying a fetus with two X chromosomes. 

[Vaysh]

Don't throw tomatoes at me, but I think James Michael is a really nice name. *ducks and runs for cover*

 

 

Eh, it's a bit bland IMO. Also kind of weird if it's true since there are already three Jameses and two Michaels in the family. I get Jessa wanting to name her firstborn after her dad but she's already got a brother who has James as a first name.

Edited November 9, 2015 by Vaysh

[DoctorWhovian]

The photo of Ben and Jessa and baby in front of the sheet looks so staged, like they grabbed two random people and a random baby and took a picture. But the black and white photo in the bed looks genuine, and you can tell they're a family there and that Ben cares for his wife and son.

 

James Michael isn't a bad name at all. It's downright normal. But there's already an Uncle James so I hope it's not, or else they asked his permission first.

[SomePity1066]

Don't throw tomatoes at me, but I think James Michael is a really nice name. *ducks and runs for cover*

No tomatoes being thrown here - it IS a nice name ! Normal, traditional, and altogether something I would have considered if I'd had a child.

 

BUT (here we go !) it's after JimBoob !!! Well, half of it, at least, but that's enough for me.

 

Was it so important to massage JB's gossamer-fragile ego that they had to give Baby Brown Towel his name ?! And, while I'm at it - why Michael ? They already HAVE a Michael in the family ! Is it a sign of their lack of imagination that they have to recycle names from parents/siblings/nephews/nieces ? Unless that was Ben's father's name ? I dunno. 

 

One more thing...  Jessa IS the Thunder Stealer ! Think "J" names are your property, Mechelle ? 

 

Not anymore, Mama. Not anymore. 

[Sew Sumi]

Michael is for Pa Seewald. However, my friend who does Duggar tumblr looked at three and didn't see this. I personally don't find tumblr a reliable source of first hand information, so I will wait for the official announcement in People on Thursday.

eta The name is also lame because he would have a first cousin named Michael James. Yes, it's traditional, but given the circumstances, they could do better.

Edited November 9, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[Purpose to defraud]

I can't wait to see how much of the birth is edited out...Jessa is prissy...no way she is going to let anything gruesome be on TV. Gotta give Anna credit there...she let it all hang out!

For once, I'm with Jessa. 

[yogi2014L]

Ugh James Micheal, really? Enough with the Js. You would think she would be sick of it

Micheal James would have been nice, IMO. Redundant

 

If i was Jessa I would be so pissed at sister in law Jessica. Guess who will be the last to know anything from now on??