S03.E13: Final Decision Pt. 1

[okerry]

Ashley is a lying liar who lies. And poorly. She ought to be ashamed of herself. I wonder if she's married her boyfriend yet.

 

And Show, you suck for wasting 90% of the time slot on rehashes. SUCK.

I just saw a promo on tv for the reveal, and Ashley looks positively giddy.

Oh, yes. When Dr. L said the time had come for them to make a decision, her face lit up in a very nice smile. She looked happier than at any other time on the show.

 

David, she did you a favor. Just take it and run. You'll be happy about it later on. VERY happy.

[shouldbedancing]

Pop off, David, pop off. Pop off!

[Kareem]

It's still going for me. Is it really done?

Says it goes on til 9:16

You must have been watching on FYI like me? None of what they were talking about here with David and Ashley had happened yet.

[Neurochick]

I absolutely think emotional cheating is a thing; intimacy comes in lots of different forms. It's not just sex, so having sex with another person isn't the only way it's possible to betray them. Emotional intimacy is huge with me. This incident between David and Ashley is whatever because they had no intimacy of any kind, but if they did, I can see why she'd be hurt.

However, I agree that David just wants to be married and doesnt care to whom, and he really needs to sort that out. What does he want from a partnership? What kind of woman is best suited for him? I'm not sure he knows, and he needs to if he's going to make better choices. "Ok, you'll do" isn't the way to pick a spouse, IMO.

nffftshewasgone, I watch on A&E - ep ended at 10:01 for me.

 

 

First, I don't see how David could have "cheated" on Ashley when they had no intimacy to begin with.  

 

The reason I don't get emotional cheating is because what happens if one person is in a 12 step program and says things to fellow addicts or alcoholics that they don't feel comfortable saying to their non addict, non alcoholic spouse.  Is that emotional cheating?   

 

But when David was going on and on about how he wants to be married, I realized he is very much like Vanessa as he has an ideal of what marriage is.  That is probably the reason he has a problem dating, he knows what he wants and doesn't read the other person's signals.  You have to let things happen organically, not force the other person to be what you want.  

 

However, I don't think that was why Ashley checked out.  Ashley checked out from the very beginning, as was shown on her wedding day, in the bathroom, "I don't like him," she said and she never changed how she felt.  She didn't like what David looked like and that was that.  It wasn't because David had a temper, or David was aggressive, she just didn't like the way he looked, period.  

[Paddywagon]

David: you're FREE! Go party and get LAID!

[Lynnie76]

Did they just do David and Ashley? I'm on the West coast. Need a Spoiler to keep me going!

[mythoughtis]

I watch on A&E, so I don't have the 15 minute Jamie interviews.  Thank goodness!

 

Yes, Ashley wanted a divorce.... and we all knew that.  I am disappointed that David didn't man up about a woman who hasn't given him the time of day in 6 weeks.

She couldn't be honest in her 'explanation', and fell back on the social media thing.  Meanwhile, her talking head interview was honest 'I don't have, never had feelings for him..  David needed her to say that, but she lies and tries to make him feel guilty. 

 

Neil is at last honestly discussing his feelings in the last day or two leading up to the decision.  Sam is coming around, but I think it might be too little too late. 

I bet Tres wants a divorce

 

ETA - Lynnie76, they just did David and Ashley, the rest of the episode is the few days prior to the decision.

Edited February 24, 2016 by mythoughtis

[sisterscouch]

If Ashley was undecided about her decision before decision day, then David's sweaty pits sealed the deal.

Also I was glad to see she had something in her closet other than a v-neck shirt and short shorts.

I feel like Vanessa's tears are bc she's holding back saying I love you to Tres. If she felt confident enough to just say it to him she wouldn't be so stressed out.

Is anyone else bothered that we have to sit through the first 3 straight minutes of the show restating details of a show that we've all been watching?? If they saved up all those 3 minute refreshers, we could have not needed a decision day part 2!!!!

[okerry]

David and Ashley spoiler:

 

David wanted to stay married, Ashley chose divorce. He looked devastated and she was very cold-blooded and tried to blame it on Textgate.

[Lynnie76]

Thanks my thought is for the heads up. I think I'll just let DVR roll on and watch something else. Tuesday night is a big night at our house.

[Nffftshewasgone]

You must have been watching on FYI like me? None of what they were talking about here with David and Ashley had happened yet.

Yes, FYI, but I don't get why it's longer than on the other channel. It's not Jamie, either, because that started afterwards. I guess just more filler or more ads. Weird.

I would send a condolence letter to anyone that wanted to actually be married to her.

LOL, exactly.

Here's where Cold, Dead Fish Bitch fits most.

Alas, we didn't get to see David give her those 3 gifts of 2 middle fingers and a jar of wax.

[jamblastx]

70 minutes of zzzzzzzzz and recaps!!!!  Cause we haven't been following this train wreck for the last few months!.. Then FINALLY a decision and it was the one we all knew was coming from week 1.  Yes, David was too in love with being in love and trying to convince himself that there was something there....but if he was going to be wrongheaded, at least it was in a positive way.  He could have trashed Ashley MUCH worse than he did but he still maintained his composure.  Ashley is even more of a bitch by trotting out the 'social media' bullshit as a reason (even in the talk with her close 'friend')...I'd have a SMIDGEN of respect if she once would have said something to the effect of putting some of the blame of that on herself by showing ZERO emotions towards him prior to the event.  And in that craptacular Jamie Otis postgame show, how can she say that she really didn't know what her decision was going to be right until the end and then moments later claim that she was surprised that David didnt know what she was going to say, not because they talked about it, but how she acted all along....she essentially CONFIRMED that she was checked out from moment one yet she is trying to blame the social media shit and pretend that she didn't know what her decision was going to be.  What a truly awful person 

Edited February 24, 2016 by jamblastx

[Madding crowd]

I can't believe David thought Ashley would saying anything but no to staying together. I do like him, but he can't be serious when he thinks anything is coming around with this woman. She is just awful. I know all of you hate Sam, but I think she is trying and is sorry about the way she treated Neil. Neil himself is far from perfect and he seems kind of sexless and joyless to me. I think maybe they do care about each other and I really hope they will stay together. I hope Vanessa and Tres will stay together too; at first I thought Tres might say no, now I think Vanessa might. It makes me sad for some reason.

 

In regard to emotional affiars/cheating: If your spouse won't tell you anything about their hope, dreams, fears, etc and is telling a stranger on the internet or a work friend all of these things, it is an emotional affair. Part of what makes us feel intimate with another person is knowing their thoughts and feelings. It is different in a support group situation, but many people get into affairs with people they meet at AA or other groups. 

[red12]

The experts owe David a month's worth of FREE therapy.

With a real life qualified therapist who has not been on a reality TV show

Edited February 24, 2016 by red12

[Gem 10]

I didn't watch the caucus because of this shit? David is so desperate to be married, an elephant could of walked up the isle and he would have wanted it. What man talks so much about feelings like David, not my husband or any other guy I know. He's a "wuss." Ashley wiping those tears. What a joke. The car was probably running as she spoke waiting to get the hell away from David whom she didn't want from day one. If Neil doesn't want a divorce, I feel sorry for him. All of a sudden, Sam is affectionate. She knows if he walks, there's a slim chance she'll ever get married again. She is a mean, childish, self centered unlikeable crazy bitch. Tres bought the flowers again and a bracelet to boot. But, he's trying to convince himself that she's a keeper .. She has thrown some good meals together. Who the hell knows how Vanessa feels about him. She certainly hasn't tried to get close emotionally. And finally, who needs those experts? I think WE, the people could give better advice. Good nite everyone. Xo

[princelina]

It's laughable how they edit the footage to make it seem like David/Ashley actually stand a chance...

Which is why I will never believe that she was just "given a bad edit."  If there was ANYTHING good there they would have shown it, just to try and build some suspense!

[tinypeanut]

So we watched 55 minutes to get to the 5 minutes of the decision.  Could they not have given us a better episode?  There was more talking and discussing in the section Unfiltered with Jamie.

 

Was it me or does Jamie flirt with David?

[pinkelephant3]

I know we all feel bad for David but I really do wonder what went on behind closed doors to make ashley dislike him so much aside from not being attracted to him. Or maybe she's just a frigid biatch who knows! I wish the girls from season 2 could do a tell all!

Was it me or does Jamie flirt with David?

Yea because she found out how much money he makes and he is more attractive than fugly doug. Jamie is the worst I can't even watch the after show!

[ChristmasJones]

The only thing I can say about this episode is thank the lord for DVRs!!!!!!

[Paddywagon]

At the very end of the Unfiltered interview with Sam when they were talking about Sam trying to kiss Neil in the car, Sam said something like:

"I figured at that point decision day was coming up so why not just give it a try and see if it will help smooth things over and show that I really do care and I really am coming around..."

Now I don't like Sam and don't believe she's "changed" but does this sound like she's playing him because decision day is coming up? And maybe she doesn't wanna get dumped so she's acting all nice?

I don't know what it is but I just can't shake the feeling that somethin' 'bout that girl just ain't right.

[Snarklepuss]

It has become clear to me that David is like one of those men talked about in "Sex and the City" who, upon being ready for marriage turn into a taxi cab and marries the very next woman who gets into the cab.  I have to admit I have known several people like this, both men and women, who suddenly wake up and realize it's time to get married and would fantasize an entire relationship with a tree stump if they could ever get one inside the house.  It reminds me of an ages old cartoon I grew up with where a dog falls in love with a dog statue in the park until one day it gets hauled away to a bomb factory for scrap metal and the dog follows it all the way to the factory until it comes out a shiny new bomb - Of course the dog is still in love with "her" and pays the price when he kisses it and it explodes in his face!

 

David takes his training in salesmanship way too seriously.  He is determined to act as if he's already made the sale before he's ever made it and even when it's painfully obvious that the client isn't interested and is actually even more turned off by his continued efforts to sell them.  I think he read "The Power of Positive Thinking" and took it waaaaaay too literally.  Either that or he just hates Ashley so much he wants to make her look as bad as she should look.  She made a comment to Jamie that they had agreed to present a united front and then he went back on that.  I like to think he just didn't want her to make him admit defeat and plus it would annoy her all the more.  If so, good for him and he's not as pathetic as he might look.

 

The bitch is COLD, OMG - Sitting there with Jamie I could feel the derision under the surface just DRIPPING off of her - She felt a lack of respect?  Jesus, the lack of respect started with her towards him on day ONE and continues to this DAY and she has the nerve to harp on something that actually had NOTHING to do with her feelings about him whatsoever.  I agree, she is a lying liar who lied.  David may be a poor sap who just wanted to get married so much that he kept trying to keep a positive attitude against all odds, but she is just a total lying BITCH who misrepresented herself from the get go.  Say what you want about David but he's just a poor sap.  She is just EVIL.  I totally believe she was on the phone to her ex the minute after that was over!

[izabella]

I don't know why David cares so much.  There was so little that was likable about Ashley, and he was beating his head against a wall the whole time. 

 

This show needs to be put out of its misery, not extended for extra episodes.

[Nffftshewasgone]

I truly believe she should be sued for breach of contract. She wasted everyone's time, effort and money. I never saw the first few shows and was shocked that she could be heard saying she did not like him in the bathroom. She was horrible to him from day one. Truly, I can't believe the show actually let this go on. So freaking bizarre.

ETA: Ashley, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. I won't list the reasons why, just read this forum. Ashley's mom, I'm sorry your daughter has turned out to be such a horrible person. I don't know how Ashley can even sleep at night.

Edited February 24, 2016 by Nffftshewasgone

[Lola16]

Well that was anything but shocking.  Ashley blamed it on the FB texts.  Then fesses up in the TH that she never was into him.  David continues his line of bull until Ashley rejects him and then he says she was never in it.  So we all saw it.  He saw it.  Yet he blathered on about falling in love and that maybe she didn't feel it yet but would.  More BS.

 

Exactly. Just as we expected, she was just biding her time until she could say she wanted a divorce. She got him to pay her expenses while she went to school, so she didn't have to work. Check. She got her "five minutes of fame". Check. She found an excuse to blame her selfishness all on David. Check...

It was a 6 week commitment. What exactly did David pay for?  The show paid for the housing.  Any outings were also paid for by the show. 

 

 

At the very end of the Unfiltered interview with Sam when they were talking about Sam trying to kiss Neil in the car, Sam said something like:

"I figured at that point decision day was coming up so why not just give it a try and see if it will help smooth things over and show that I really do care and I really am coming around..."

Now I don't like Sam and don't believe she's "changed" but does this sound like she's playing him because decision day is coming up? And maybe she doesn't wanna get dumped so she's acting all nice?

I don't know what it is but I just can't shake the feeling that somethin' 'bout that girl just ain't right.

I totally think Sam has been sucking up to Neal, giving him just a little affection and attention so he doesn't dump her on camera.  Hopefully, its as obvious to Neal too.

[Snarklepuss]

This is the cartoon that reminded me of David:

 

Edited February 24, 2016 by Snarklepuss

[SnarkKitty]

Watching the opening recap made me realize none of them have looked as good as the wedding day. Especially Sam. Damn, a little effort would go a long way y'all. Even newlyweds who dated try and keep up the facade after the marriage, especially if they never lived together beforehand.

 

Vanessa's sister reinforced what her mother said. Girl is a brick wall to get through. Run, Tres!

 

I watch on A&E, so I don't have the 15 minute Jamie interviews.  Thank goodness!

 

Normally, no Jaime is a blessing, and I'd advocate staying far away but this episode the editors are being *very* shady [WRT David and Ashley's discussion] and it's kinda awesome/hilarious. You wonder what marriage were these people in.

 

If Ashley was undecided about her decision before decision day, then David's sweaty pits sealed the deal.

 

Ewww, IK,R?? As soon as he did that I was gagging. I sincerely expected Ashley to stop him mid-speech and say "please put your arm down." I would have given her a total pass on that one.

Edited February 24, 2016 by SnarkKitty

[Nffftshewasgone]

This is the cartoon that reminded me of David:

https://youtu.be/4-nsjxD38F4

Perfect!

[Kareem]

I was so disappointed by how incredibly boring that was.

A&E always televises an hour show; FYI is an hour fifteen so I always watch the longer version. Jamie and her teeth are another 15 minutes after that and I usually blow that off because she's an idiot.

Guess it's good that the corpse and "Le Pew" are out of the way because we knew where that was going. On to the next four whose explanations of their decisions and behavior might be mildly amusing.

[Empress1]

It was bugging me that Sam was all over Neil as he was driving. Let him drive! That's dangerous!

[ctbabe]

It was bugging me that Sam was all over Neil as he was driving. Let him drive! That's dangerous!

I was so worried that they would crash.. imagine seeing an accident on camera...

[Sunnyside]

The experts owe David a month's worth of FREE therapy.

With a real life qualified therapist who has not been on a reality TV show

typo.....I meant FREE therapy by REAL experts. I'd say they owe him a REAL bride, but the way he kept saying he'd fight to save a marriage that never went beyond the logistics of a blind date wedding......

This show needs to get real with some real dialog. Excuse me while I go rant about these flaws on the FIX thread.

[jamblastx]

I know since we got their decision last night it's all about Pepe and Ashbot (the Pepe LePew and cat analogy is PERFECT however its an insult to the cat as it at least had a personality), however I cannot let Vanessa off the hook without comment.  It's as if she WANTS to be dumped just so she can prove her self fulfilling prophecy that all men abandon her.  Even with her sister, all she did was look down, look away, tear up, etc...without saying anything.  I could not have changed my opinion more about her and Tres from the beginning of the show. 

 

In thinking about this season, theoretically someone could make a case to wanting to stay married to any one of the three men, but if anyone would want to stay married to any of the three women, I would ask them to seek help.  As a straight male, while I did not find either Sam or Ashley that physically attractive (and with their personalities....god no), I certainly thought that Vanessa was very attractive ...and even her personality was as well....at first. 

[Waterlilly]

I liked when David dropped the ring on the table. He knew but he tried I'll give him that. I dislike Ashley even more,she isn't an introvert, she is COLD. Lucky man. I'm glad he has a good support system.

[Koda1969]

I honestly am still yawning with this episode. Normally, I record it to watch the next morning when my husband goes to work. But last night, he had to work a double shift, so I found myself alone at the time of airing and decided what the hell, I'd watch it live. I swear, I nearly fell asleep it was so boring! rehash...rehash..edit to make it look like maybe someone stays together..inevitable final ending between David and Ashley.

 

Ashley clearly (repeated) for the umpteenth time how trust was broken with David over textgate. If there were truly deeper issues, then I'm sure she would have brought them up. Hearing her say things about broken trust just makes me laugh hysterically, because until that point, she was not forthcoming with him at all. Hell, I have distant acquaintances who talk more than she does! I still say she should have owned it and said "yeah, I just don't like him!!"

 

Sam and Neil...ugghh. What more can  be said about them? I find it interesting that Sam suddenly has a change of heart and excepts Neil to just along with her timeline for the progression of the relationship. Behave like an ass and then when you suddenly decide you might like him, he's supposed to turn on a dime and suddenly be all into you? I can't help but wonder if Sam's problem is that she doesn't like something until she suddenly thinks it will be denied her. In other words, she likes setting the pace and now that the time is almost up, she wants to ensure that Neil feels something for her? Plus, because he's very outwardly NOT all googly over here, I wonder if that makes her more determined to get him to fall for her? Not sure if I'm making sense in that?

 

Tres and Vanessa. Sigh. Just sigh. She has said she has a specific idea of what she wants. She has got to lay off the romantic movies and novels. Real life is up and down, kisses then screaming the next day. Real relationships just don't happen in a static two-hour movie format with all the bad stuff edited out. If she doesn't start developing a more realstic sense of good relationships, she is going to be her own worst enemy in every relationship she is in.

Ugghh..I can't wait for this to be over!

[Vinyasa]

Ashley, if David looked like Brad Pitt this "texting, social media" incident would have been a non incident. You would have thought it was the best thing ever.

 

You used that as the way out. It was all about David's appearance from the first second.

[allthelight]

The bracelet Tres gave to Vanessa was apparently an R for Russell. I bet Cortney Hendrix is fuming, Pool Jason.

[Neurochick]

Ashley is full of shit.  They played that moment in episode one, she was in the bathroom with her girlfriends and says straight up, "I don't like him."  That's what she said and that's what she felt.  Texting had zero to do with it.

 

In regard to emotional affiars/cheating: If your spouse won't tell you anything about their hope, dreams, fears, etc and is telling a stranger on the internet or a work friend all of these things, it is an emotional affair. Part of what makes us feel intimate with another person is knowing their thoughts and feelings. It is different in a support group situation, but many people get into affairs with people they meet at AA or other groups.

 

 

Unfortunately, people don't always feel they can tell their spouse everything, for fear of how their spouse will see them.  Sometimes they tell another person because that other person can help them talk to the spouse.  I don't believe that a spouse should be your everything all the time.  To me, that's too much pressure to put on one person but everybody's marriage is different and YMMV.

[SaucyMommy]

I seriously fast forwarded the WHOLE thing to the end because I don't have time to care anymore. But Ashley's fake tears at the end are tears of relief not sadness. That bitch never even tried. Seriously. What a phony display of emotion. David was right she checked out and never tried. David is a tad delusional but at least he tried.

[AussieBabe]

I don't favour Ashley over David or vice versa. I realised last night what my issue with her was. She takes no accountability or responsibility for her actions. Everything was calculated and cold. Point blank and simple...she was a fraud who married under false pretences. I am not attracted to him, but I will pretend like I am trying to "spare his feelings" all while being totally disinterested and disengaged. No, you are a liar, a fraud, and if anyone should have cited a trust breakdown, it should have been him. You stood up there and took vows knowing full and well you checked out on day one. Ashley never had any intention of following through and regardless as to what is being said about David in the spoiler/social media thread, nothing from his past should excuse her conduct. The best thing she could have done was gracefully bow out instead of going thru with the ceremony, going on a honeymoon, moving in, and shutting down for 6 weeks. She seemed unbothered when he was obviously hurt. She even went as far as to say he was in love with the idea of being in love. Maybe so but you of all people shouldn't be able to speak a word on that because despite living with him for 6 weeks, I bet she can't name 10 facts about him. She wasn't interested in getting to know him, and it started when he wasn't what she thought she deserved on her wedding day. That's truly unfortunate because now she's on the receiving end of a lot of dislike, and her recourse has been to sling mud and throw David and production under the bus. Where's your accountability, Ashley? Why couldn't you just be honest and say, "I never felt anything romantic?" If she had kept it real and been authentic, I don't think anyone would fault her. She went along with the sham of a marriage, and I still can't understand why. I was hoping she'd give more insight with the experts like he did something or behaved in a way that made her feel uneasy. Nothing. The only excuse was text gate. Realistically, they probably know she checked out long before that and used that as the final out.

Vanessa's communication style would drive me batty. All the twisted up faces and looking away. I just believe she has some idealised version of what a marriage should be: perfect, without storms, and being everything the other needs. Even if Tres didn't have faults, I don't think he could or would ever match up to what she has built up in her mind. I can't speak on his character, but when her mum and sister both said she is virtually impossible to communicate with, that was a red flag. She went to dinner with her sister, teared up, twisted her face up, and didn't say what was bothering her.

And Sam. Lawd, she's all about the last ditch effort to not get dumped on telly. Neil is a fool if he believes her changes are genuine.

If they were, she wouldn't have been calling someone a c*nt on Twitter as recently as a few weeks ago. I just believe there's something disingenuous about her hitting day 30-something and caring sooo much.

You don't treat someone like crap and then expect them to like you and fall for you because you're suddenly being nice and affectionate. Maybe she's changed now because it has been several months but then? No.

Edited March 2, 2016 by Drogo
social media spoiler-tagged

[Pepper Mostly]

Ashley and David remind me of Pepe le Pew and the cat.

Perfection.

 

Ashley is a lying liar who lies. And poorly. She ought to be ashamed of herself. I wonder if she's married her boyfriend yet.

 

And Show, you suck for wasting 90% of the time slot on rehashes. SUCK.

Oh, yes. When Dr. L said the time had come for them to make a decision, her face lit up in a very nice smile. She looked happier than at any other time on the show.

 

David, she did you a favor. Just take it and run. You'll be happy about it later on. VERY happy.

She was positively radiant. The only sincere smile I've seen on her face the whole time. I laughed and laughed. You could just see the thought bubble over her head: "yesyesyes its almost over I'm free I'M FREE thank god thank god just a few more minutes and I never have to deal with this guy again thank you Jesus"

[seasick]

At the very end of the Unfiltered interview with Sam when they were talking about Sam trying to kiss Neil in the car, Sam said something like:

"I figured at that point decision day was coming up so why not just give it a try and see if it will help smooth things over and show that I really do care and I really am coming around..."

Now I don't like Sam and don't believe she's "changed" but does this sound like she's playing him because decision day is coming up? And maybe she doesn't wanna get dumped so she's acting all nice?

I don't know what it is but I just can't shake the feeling that somethin' 'bout that girl just ain't right.

ITA.  I think her Boo-Hoo act over the  "i don't miss you"  drama was all about her ego.  That's what her "feelings" were about Neil--nothing else.  She showed she 'cared"--about her and her ego once again.

 

I think the same about "the decision".  She hasn't kissed him since the wedding?? In six weeks?  And that was a kiss??  

Sam won't mind having another 'follower"/devotee around to add to her collection.  All eyes on Sam.in the starring role.  I believe they will be back living at Sam's somehow too, until they break up.   Having Sammie around gives her someone to show-off to and  takes the pressure off relating to Neil. 

 

Ashley thought David was going to say divorce--expressing to Jamie that she thought they had decided to be "on the same page" (obviously to once again--'have her back' and not make her look bad.)    Despite treating him like a mangey dog she still expected his devotion to her and her 'special' little feelings

 

How they found two guys that naive/delusional who were willing to overlook the lack of a sexual relationship is beyond me.  .And that speaks to Sam's agenda as well. You want to stay married to a man you can't stand to even kiss?  Why? (it feeds your ego--that's why)

[KateHearts]

Does everyone think the couples (not just this season) fake the decision reveal as the first time? I hope they do. The cameras aren't with them 24/7, they could give each other a heads up. I know they all signed up to have it all play out on TV but especially in the breakup couples I don't like the idea of actually not giving the other spouse a heads up they're breaking up.

I heard Vanessa refer last night to "our decision," so I'm thinking maybe they discussed it.  As for the others, who knows?  It seems as if Neil is now gaining upper hand as Sam suddenly realizes she'd better make nice or she'll lose her chance.  I just don't see them as a realistic match for the long run.  She might play around with him like a cat taunting its prey, but he seems over it and like he's just playing along for some good TV.

[Vinyasa]

 

Ashley is full of shit.  They played that moment in episode one, she was in the bathroom with her girlfriends and says straight up, "I don't like him."  That's what she said and that's what she felt.  Texting had zero to do with it.

Bingo!  She says the "texting" broke her trust. Oh cry me a river.

 

She used the texting as the biggest excuse to be the victim and make David the felon. She paid more attention to the dog than she did her "husband" in the six weeks.

[seasick]

I can't be too hard on Vanessa.  There is something in her gut that has her not convinced.  I don't see that glow and connection in their relationship like I did with Jason and Courtney, and I don't think it's all "Vanessa" and her delusions of Hollywood romance.  

 

Tres says and does the right things overall--but there is something a little 'lukewarm' in their relationship, and with him.  I think she pictures a future with kids , and with Tres I picture a half-hearted effort and interest in that scene.  I get the impression that although he would be around, he'd be a little indifferent to her needs.  He just isn't THAT into her or marriage.  I think she feels that.  She likes him, but isn't feeling it for a future and I can''t argue with that.

[MsPH]

I know since we got their decision last night it's all about Pepe and Ashbot (the Pepe LePew and cat analogy is PERFECT however its an insult to the cat as it at least had a personality), however I cannot let Vanessa off the hook without comment.  It's as if she WANTS to be dumped just so she can prove her self fulfilling prophecy that all men abandon her.  Even with her sister, all she did was look down, look away, tear up, etc...without saying anything.  I could not have changed my opinion more about her and Tres from the beginning of the show. 

 

In thinking about this season, theoretically someone could make a case to wanting to stay married to any one of the three men, but if anyone would want to stay married to any of the three women, I would ask them to seek help.  As a straight male, while I did not find either Sam or Ashley that physically attractive (and with their personalities....god no), I certainly thought that Vanessa was very attractive ...and even her personality was as well....at first. 

 

I agree. I also liked Vanessa in the beginning, but she's been such a closed-off, evasive sad sack lately that I just can't take it! You'd think she was a hormonal teenager, not an adult woman. I don't think she realises that you have to give people some reason to love you. Well anyone besides David anyway. A spouse is not your parent. You can't expect them to love you unconditionally, even if you're being a depressing stick in the mud at all times. Maybe it's got something to do with her father leaving, but like I said, your spouse is not, and shouldn't be, your parent. Is she really expecting Tres to ask for divorce after how he's been doting on her, buying her expensive gifts and flowers? It sure seems like he wants to keep trying. Of course there's no guarantee it'll last, but you'll only find out if you try.

 

I think Sam was all over Neil while he was driving, so he couldn't reciprocate or run away. She wants to be in control and no better opportunity than when the other person is trying to focus on the road at 3AM. She's desperate to make him like her now and I love it that he's not jumping at it.

 

Ugh, Ashley can't be gone from my screen fast enough. Everyone could see she didn't give a crap about David and his feelings, so those tears were ridiculous. She was crying for herself, for having to be the bad guy, not because she felt bad for David. Then when Dr. C gave her the opportunity to blame it on David's mishap, she was loving it and the tears dried up. Horrible woman.

[jamblastx]

More thoughts:

 

• Sam said something to the effect of she is enjoying this Neil and that he had changed.  And from what we have seen, he seems to be exactly the same person he has been from day one while she is the one who has changed (at least on camera).
• I do believe that David knew 99 percent that Ashley was going to say 'divorce'...there wasn't any look of surprise at all and he did have a look of  resignation.  Even if he did agree to a 'united front', he may have had second thoughts by saying to himself that this is not how he feels and he does want to try to work it out with her (for whatever misguided reason).  Plus he may have thought, why should he protect her at this point? 
• Ashley to Aunt Toothie in the postgame show stated that there never was any sort of love, affection, etc that David had claimed, so why didn't she say anything to him when he was spewing off ad-nauseum about how much they have grown?  Why not say 'David, I am sorry but I just don't see it that way'....nope all we got is her robotic blank stare which could mean 'I disagree', 'I agree', or 'I wonder if David's friend is available'....who knows
• The only good thing in the recap that I noticed (I mostly fast forwarded it) was seeing Tres stating to Vanessa after her morning pouty session about her berating him to act like a husband, 'You are trying to mold me into something else'....while I remember this scene from a few weeks ago, it resonates even more now after the last few weeks of sour puss Vanessa.

[KateHearts]

I couldn't stand listening to how many times Ashley said, "I was putting all my effort into this";  "I was trying my hardest to make it work"; "I really worked hard at this".

 

No, no, no.  You cannot convince anyone, looking at your slack, passive, emotionless face, that you put ANY effort into this at all.  Even someone who was not attracted, and realized they probably never would be, would at least be civil and try to make conversation with the spouse while enjoying all the perks of free outings, nice paid-for housing and a lot of TV exposure.

[allthelight]

I can't be too hard on Vanessa.  There is something in her gut that has her not convinced.  I don't see that glow and connection in their relationship like I did with Jason and Courtney, and I don't think it's all "Vanessa" and her delusions of Hollywood romance.  

 

Tres says and does the right things overall--but there is something a little 'lukewarm' in their relationship, and with him.  I think she pictures a future with kids , and with Tres I picture a half-hearted effort and interest in that scene.  I get the impression that although he would be around, he'd be a little indifferent to her needs.  He just isn't THAT into her or marriage.  I think she feels that.  She likes him, but isn't feeling it for a future and I can''t argue with that.

 

See, if this was a marriage with a history of a few years, I'd be on board with you. But it's not. He's married to a stranger and he's trying to figure it out and to make it work. I assume Vanessa has already fallen in love with him and is punishing him for not feeling with the same intensity yet. She's married a stranger and with that she should accept that it might take some time until his in glowing, passionate love with her. Instead of accepting this as something that comes with the territory, she sees it as a red flag.

 

By all accounts, this guy is a very nice guy and a good person that treats everyone with respect. Why not give him the benefit of the doubt? Why is she pouting, sulking and non-communicating all the time. She's wearing him down and once he's worn down and has accepted that this is hard work and that he'll never meet her requirements for the perfect husband anyway, she'll be all like 'I knew it' - forgetting the thing called self-fulfilling prophecy. It's like he's walking on eggshells, constantly making sure she feels appreciated and he meets all her requirements.

 

She should just give it time and take it easy. Have fun with him, socialize with him, talk to him. Don't turn this into the extension of a hard work day. Instead, she puts him under constant scrutinity. Even the best guy would reach his breaking point sooner or later, particularly if there's no long history to fall back on. I'm not Tres, and I'm already getting tired of her. She's a good person at core, but she should stop projecting all her insecurities and faults onto Tres.

 

[zxy556575]

How they found two guys that naive/delusional who were willing to overlook the lack of a sexual relationship is beyond me.

 

I gotta give credit to the producers and casting agents for deliberately swinging the pendulum the other way to make up for the awful men they picked in season 2. I think David and Neil were both truly and fundamentally (and neurotically?) sincere about wanting to be married. Tres less so, but even he was willing to give it an honest go. But then the producers shot themselves in the foot again by completely failing on the woman! It's easy to believe the reports of 80% female applicants vs male, so there's no excuse for casting Ashley and Sam.

 

Oh, Vanessa. She certainly put forth a very different image of herself during the casting process. I guess the composed, self-assured and together version only comes out when she's not with a man.

Edited February 24, 2016 by lordonia

[Neurochick]

Vanessa's communication style would drive me batty. All the twisted up faces and looking away. I just believe she has some idealised version of what a marriage should be: perfect, without storms, and being everything the other needs. Even if Tres didn't have faults, I don't think he could or would ever match up to what she has built up in her mind. I can't speak on his character, but when her mum and sister both said she is virtually impossible to communicate with, that was a red flag. She went to dinner with her sister, teared up, twisted her face up, and didn't say what was bothering her.

 

 

She just annoyed me.  I wanted to look her in the eye and say, "spit it out woman!  Tell me what's going on."  Something's not right with her.