Unpopular opinion #1: I love Gina, I think she's a great addition. I love those NY women who twist up West Coasters (Heather, Gina). She's no shrinking violet with these "OG" women and I love it. I'm taking applications for the #TeamGina club! (I only made 10 copies, didn't think I'd need more lol)
Unpopular opinion #2: I don't think Gina is saving face. I think she's completely clear on what she wants. When I listen to her, I hear the same thing in my voice when I tell people I'm good, we're good, we're just not going to be together anymore but we're still partners and best friends (we don't do the sex thing though, 'cause if I wanted that part, with him, then he wouldn't be my STBXH. But her situation is different.) Our separation is very amicable and we are lived together through it temporarily for RE reasons. And no matter who comes into my life, they'll need to understand my STBX husband is still my family and will ALWAYS be around. And anyone he's with will need to understand that as well, period. It might be weird to some, but oddly in my family the divorced party never actually seems to go away, lol. We still have ex-BIL, SILs, aunts and uncles at family trips, parties and barbeques. And we're all good with that.
I think it's true as mentioned that if she was in LI she likely wouldn't get divorced, and that there's nothing ulterior about why they're doing it. That said, I don't think she's being unrealistic but she just hasn't hit the part where even if you know it's the right decision, you're gonna be sad and grieve the "what was/could have been" part. I think that's what the ladies are trying to say but fucking it up in their typical know-it-all fashions.
With respect to the waiting part, yes it's true you could wait it out but then you have what my kids are having - big concerns that the marriage they saw as ideal for 36 years is breaking up, so why should they get married since even the ones you think will last, don't? They're both single and were only barely okay with marriage because of us, now they're both seriously rethinking. I tell them it was a very good marriage for at least 35 years, so if they're worried, they can be optimistic it will work out for at least that long. LOL.