S05.E19: Taking Chances / S05.E20: Walk Away

[NikSac]

From Part 1, already aired: Amber didn't even show an ounce of happiness when Gary said yes to the Florida trip! Either she didn't want the actual hassle of Leah, or more likely she was looking forward to getting everyone's sympathy if he said no.

 

I dunno, it seemed to me like she had a self-satisfied little smirk like "I won!" after he said yes. But I agree, I think she wanted the sympathy more than the "yes."

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

 

Did Maci Just Realize She Chose Her Latest Child's Father Poorly In The Teen Mom Season Finale?
Elsewhere, Catelynn has depression, Farrah has it out with a producer, and Amber has to pay child support.

[Pepper Mostly]

  Amber yelling at the producer about how she doesnt want to talk about topics that are reason she gets a paycheck is hilarious.  How did the producer not laugh her ass off with that one.  Amber needs a reality check cause if the Teen Mom checks suddenly stop rolling in and the cameras stop filming I'm betting Matt would suddenly disappear.  Someone should tell Amber MTV is not going to pay to film you & Matt lying on the couch all day. 

 

Butch shoving Nova's poor little head into that cake was so wrong.  What an ass.

I kept flashing back to UnREAL during Amber's little diva fit. Heather played her part perfectly. Our Ambi has completely lost sight of what they're doing here. Does she think everyone's life is filmed? Newsflash, dear. Do something interesting, maybe your production team won't have to focus on your boring ass custody battle.

 

Butch is horrible. He made Nova's birthday all about him (guess that's where Tyler gets it), then acts like a complete asshole. If he had done that to my baby there would have been hell to pay.

 

Farrah is insane. Really off her rocker. I would LURVE it if the producer guy sues her as for assault, considering it was on camera. Hey,  Amber smacked Gary around and landed in jail, so who knows? I would love for her greedy ass to have to write a big check with lots of zeros to someone. Can you imagine? And the scene in the jewelry store was hilarious. Juts bring me the most blingy, gaudy and expensive thing you have, it doesn't matter what it looks like, as long as it's expensive. I loved the look on the salesperson's face. She was holding back the laughter, big time. Same with the house. I'm sorry, unless she is some kind of financial genius, there is no way she can afford a mortgage on a 2M house. All while Simon plays his part as her bf. What is not funny is Sophia. Farrah's interaction with her are so fake and staged, either she spends no time with her, or Sophia is so numb to the crazy that she goes off and does weird stuff like growling and barking. Deb yelling out the car window about no old houses was just so Joan Crawford. 

 

As for Cait and Tyler, is being a raging narcissist part of addiction? Because between April and Butch, it was so all about them and how they were going to miss the party and what about them? Methinks Butch has read one too many blog posts and his ego is out of control. Cait is depressed, it's obvious and Tyler is NOT helping at all. 

 

Maci can lose me with her boring ass life of tailgates and t-shirts. I watched her closely drink a beer and it looked like she wasn't actually drinking it. But honestly, I don't care and it amazes me that she actually thinks she needs to "throw people off track". Girl, you are NOT a celebrity. Get over yourself. Ryan, why do you always look like you need a nap or woke up from one? When asked what he does at midnight, I immediately said he was going to get high or get laid. Probably both, lol. 

 

Amber now has two ugly ass rings that she bought for herself from Matt. I LOLed at Gary describing his wedding. Did he wear that T shirt he has been sporting? Pictures please. I loved that he decided to let Leah go with Amber and of course, that wasn't part of Amber's plan to play the vicitim, so she ended up spinning it so that he was bad anyway. Score one for Gary by accepting the CS amount, then saying nope to more time. I wanted to high five through my TV.   As for the house flip, I would love to get my hands on their balance sheet, if one exists. My guess is that they hired out for everything, which will make their profit margin razor thin

 

Way too many pooping and peeing animals this week. On to the reunion!!

Debra as Joan Crawford is an image that made me snort very unattractively! Maybe she is aiming higher than Kris Jenner. Maci I do not like at all. If you're so overwhelmed and so busy, how do you have time to go out to dinner? That business with the beers was stupid and juvenile.  She's all "I'm a fun party girl!" No dear. You are 25 years old, knocked up for the third time by a guy who won't marry you. (I personally do not have these values, have all the kids you want, marry or don't, its none of my business). But Maci has these expectations. She wants a husband. But she can only think of one way to obtain one--get pregnant. Expand your horizons, Maci. Jesus.

 

And why do none of these people have actual crockery? They have diamond rings but no one has dishes or glasses, just paper plates and solo cups. Tacky.

 

Cait is just sad. She's in pain and no one around her can think of anyone but him or herself. She's so used to not making waves that she's drowning and doesn't want to disturb anyone. Tyler is an ass and should be mocked openly in the public square for douchebaggery of the highest order.

[VioletNevermind]

Catelynn: This poor child.  I want to shake that absurdly ineffective “therapist.”  Lady, YES, she has depression.  Does no one in this family realize that Catelynn has never been able to fully process the loss of Carly in a healthy, positive way?  Constantly referring to Carly as “their daughter” and “Nova’s big sister” has not made it any easier for Catelynn to embrace reality and view Carly in the correct way: as Brandon and Teresa’s daughter whom she willingly gave up for adoption because she wasn’t ready to be a mother.  Practically since the sunrise of my 13th birthday, I’ve dealt with varying degrees of depression that have never quite gone away.  Depression is like a dance.  You’re constantly moving and switching positions, trying to keep up with ever-changing moods and ways of dealing with problems.  Just when you think you have one issue beaten, another one pops up out of nowhere.  Meds can help to keep some of the symptoms in check, but most of it is mental.  Someone needs to explain to Tyler that Catelynn cannot simply flip a happy switch and “get moving.”  Is there a lot more Catelynn could do to improve her outlook and mental state?  Absolutely, but it's not as cut-and-dried as Tyler seems to think it is.  Speaking of Tyler, he has a tremendous amount of nerve bitching about Catelynn’s inactivity while he does nothing with his life.  Young men in their early 20’s should be going to school, reporting to a job every day, or both.  The money that Teen Mom has brought to these kids has done them a great disservice.  When it eventually dries up (and it will), they will have no clue what to do with their lives and how to achieve their goals, if they even have any.  Someone needs to let Tyler know that in 10 years, no one will buy a book written by an unemployed guy in his thirties who never really was a teen dad.

 

I don’t think that any provisions should have been made for Tyler’s dad to attend the birthday party.  He was never there for his own kids during their formative years, then expects special arrangements to be made for him to attend Nova’s party (without a gift for his granddaughter, for God’s sake)?  Still, I guess it’s nice that he got to come anyway, mostly because April willingly cut her visit short, which I thought was kind of curious.  Nova looked pretty perturbed at her grandfather pushing her little face down into her cake frosting.  Classy as always, Butch. 

Amber: She wants to take Leah to Florida.  Yawn.  She’s pissed that Gary is giving her pushback on the visitation schedule.  Yawn.  She’s made her own bed with lying, Sperm Donor Matt and I really couldn’t care less.

 

Maci: Maci is the very definition of the word basic.  She’s coming off more than a little desperate for Taylor to put a ring on it and God help me if I can figure out why.  If he’s dragging his feet on making her a full, official partner in that laughable t-shirt business, what makes her think he would be a steady, reliable husband for the long haul?  Her continued attraction to Ryyyn is still very evident.  I’m mildly impressed with Ryyyn’s newfound involvement in Bintley’s everyday life, but he will have to maintain it for more than a couple of months to be seen as truly reformed.  He’s that classic visitation dad whom everyone fawns all over when he actually does what he’s supposed to do.  It won’t be long before he gets distracted again, chasing tail through every bar in Tennessee.  As for Taylor, a great big meh.  Nothing about him impresses me, from his gross, hipster beard to those overpriced t-shirts with the too-small leather pocket.

 

Farrah: Oh, this bitch.  It's clear as day that Simon has absolutely no interest in her beyond making a few dollars on his brief appearances.  Frankly, I feel embarrassed for Farrah when I watch Simon all but cringe in agony as she pinches his cheeks, pokes at him, and generally makes a thirsty, desperate fool of herself.  Simon is no angel, but you have to feel for the guy.  Sophia doesn’t help matters with her zombie-voiced requests for a baby brother or sister.  I enjoy the company of 90% of small children and hate it when people are mean to them or don’t view occasional bad behavior as opportunities for teachable moments, but DAMN, someone needs to school Sophia in proper conduct toward her elders.  She’s definitely old enough to know that it’s extremely inappropriate to not only lecture her grandmother, but to hit her as well.  How on earth can Farrah just sit there and allow that?!  She’s modeled to Sophia that it’s totally okay to shit all over Debra- and publically, no less.  As much as Debra might deserve being shat upon, it’s beyond my comprehension how this poor child will grow up with any sort of normal value system.  I suspect that the apple will not fall far from the tree.

 

As for Farrah’s hissyfit in front of her house at the end of the episode, Larry was absolutely right when he said that the show “made her,” as dubious a distinction as that may be.  Without Teen Mom, Farrah would be a plain ol’ Midwestern single mom who would have been cut down to size by real life long ago.  Mind you, she’d still be a raging, entitled bitch, but without the gargantuan, fake ass, custom-made vagina molds, and porn bucks to back it up.  One wonders what the dearly departed Daddy Derek would think of the train wreck his ex-girlfriend and child have become.  I hope this was Farrah’s last appearance, but I fear that it wasn’t.

Edited February 23, 2016 by SuzyLee

[NikSac]

Maci is so pathetic. I had second-hand embarrassment when she told her friend that she told Taylor to either put her name on the company or marry her.

 

Especially when she said it was that or else she wouldn't work on the company anymore, while she was working on stuff for the company.  Okayyy...

[NoirDetective]

What was this full time job Maci kept throwing into her schedule that made the Tshirts so overwhelming? Filming Teen Mom, in her house?! Is she for real? Between that and ordering shelves online, where does she find the time? Crazy. Just crazy. I kind of like that Taylor shows a bare minimum of interest in anything having to do with her, though. It will be great for her to look back on later and see how stupid she was.

I don't like Gary all the time, but Amber is clearly the worst of the evils there. Kristina is such a pathetic doormat, it makes me sad.

Farrah's life of prostituion bores me. I hope she truly enjoys the drama, because she's in for a lifetime with it with that gremlin. If Farrah wants such an expensive ring, why does she not demand that same standard for the man in her life? Not that that relationship is real, of course.

Tyler and Cait and everyone around them are so full of excuses as to why they suck, but they're aware of their suckitude and that they will likely suck again, so aren't they good people? Butch doesn't give a shit about an infants birthday party. The two of them seem to have no interest in it other than its something to whine about to distract from their sleeping and faux-introspection with a too enabling mother.

Ugh. I really do hate Tyler the most. That champagne lunch was so hollow I think I heard the wind whistling.

[MaggieG]

Simon's shirt at dinner looked like someone threw up on it. Yeah right on them buying a $2 million home and living there together. Simon must be smarter than that right? I don't even know what to say about Farrah, she truly is crazy. I could barely understand some of the stuff that was said by her and Larry at the end because they were talking over each other a lot, but did she say the reason the show took off was because Derek died? Larry said something about them walking in when she was in a cheerleading outfit and that was her response.

Maci, how about cooking dinner once in a while? They always seem to be eating take out. I know it was mean of Ryan but I cracked up when they were talking about Bentley's basketball and he said "the really uncoordinated kid" because that was me in gym class.

How did both butch and April go to the wedding when they are supposed to stay away from each other?

Edited February 23, 2016 by MaggieG

[ava111]

Kudos to Gary that he didn't do a big MTV paid for wedding. We can expect one from Amber, Macy and Farrah next season. The season after that they will all be getting divorce.

Farrah only knows how to treat people either by being pissed and nasty to them or talk and treat them like a child. Nothing between.

Sophia is doomed. She will never be a normal child and adult, she has no examples of normal human interaction, love, respect. Unfortunately I can't even feel sorry for her anymore, she reached the level of awfulness that I can only hate her even though I know it's not her fault.

Amber should donate her new "expensive" engagement ring to Matt's children's mothers. Wonder how much child support would that cover.

Matt is just despicable nasty piece of shit.

Amber's grandma couldn't wait to leave their dinner, she could barely look at them. And was she also going to Florida since it was whole family together like Matt said?

[kira28]

Ok are all of these people delusional? Amber seems to think she deserves 50% custody of Leah just because she's what? Sitting on her couch? Then her cousin says Gary only wants more time with Leah for the child support? What f*cking child support!!! Amber doesn't pay her child support so oh yeah I'm sure that's the reason Gary provides Leah with a stable home. Amber lives an hour away so how in the world would 50/50 custody even work? Amber can't get out of bed to take care of Leah ONE day a week when she has her so there is no way she could get up super early 3 days every single week day to drive Leah an hour to school. You don't pay to see your kids you stupid deadbeat! You pay because you are not raising your kid day in and day out and its not fair to put all the financial responsibility on Gary. And Amber "there's so much I'm doing to upgrade my life"  What in the hell have you done to improve your life sweetie?  Because I ain't seeing it. And I don't think anyone else is either. 

 

 

Maci was definitely pregnant and knew it. At the restaurant she definitely drank some of that beer and when she leaned over the table to kiss Taylor she grabbed her shirt and pulled it closed so it wouldn't show her belly. You could also see her baby belly when she showed Ryan Bentley's room.

 

Tyler and Cait are delusional. At their little dinner they are patting themselves on the back, we have been parents for 7 years. Nope you dumb twits you haven't. You donated sperm and an egg to make a baby that has two parents- Brandon and Teresa. And Tyler blathers on about how he's always wanted a family and children and they have the type of home for Nova that they didn't  have growing up. Um excuse me, you are giving Nova the EXACT type of home life YOU had growing up. Nova lives with two unemployed bums who ship her off to April three or more nights a week. Sounds exactly like Cait's childhood.

 

All these people and their houses look like they smell. Matt and Amber look sweaty and dirty and like they don't shower very often. Cait and Tyler just look like they stink of smoke and pet odor. Maci looks like she smells like a bar.

 

They should have told both Farrah and Amber, ok you don't want to film.. see ya. And walk out and never return. These girls have gotten way too big for their britches.

[poopchute]

What kind of health insurance do we think Tyler and Catelyn have? I feel like they must pay a ton of copays for all these therapy sessions. That shit adds up.

Gary wore a flat brimmed hat to get married? I noticed no wedding ring for him. I can't imagine cramming any ring on to his enormous fat paw.

Did I see Maci eating sushi along with the beers she was drinking? Around thanksgiving she was 13 weeks pregnant. I miss sushi and beer but I haven't been having it during this pregnancy because I'm not an asshole.

[FlirtMcGirt]

It would never happen a second time, but i would give anything for a camera person to show up and spill tea all over Reddit again. I need to know more about Matt, Maci, and Farrah's continued lunacy.

[Snarky McSnarky]

Sorry, ladies.  TTM's women's shirts are all sold out.  They'll be restocking probably never.

 

http://www.ttmlifestyle.com/womens-wear-new-products

[ghoulina]

Amber's grandma couldn't wait to leave their dinner, she could barely look at them. And was she also going to Florida since it was whole family together like Matt said?

 

That woman had the bitchiest look on her face I've ever seen. It was awesome. 

[Tatum]

 

Maci I do not like at all. If you're so overwhelmed and so busy, how do you have time to go out to dinner? That business with the beers was stupid and juvenile.  She's all "I'm a fun party girl!" No dear. You are 25 years old, knocked up for the third time by a guy who won't marry you. (I personally do not have these values, have all the kids you want, marry or don't, its none of my business). But Maci has these expectations. She wants a husband. But she can only think of one way to obtain one--get pregnant. Expand your horizons, Maci. Jesus.

 

Maci baffles me. I do not like her very much, mostly because she has this idea in her head that she's some kind of mature, grounded, workaholic, when in actuality she's the least mature 24 year old not currently on this show, and she's totally unrealistic and lazy. However, that said, I don't think she's an evil person or anything, I don't think she's stupid, and she would maybe be a fun drinking partner.  Yet here she is literally begging stupid Taylor to marry her, when this douche brings absolutely NOTHING to the table. Nothing. You know what would have been a really cool move back in 2014 Maci? Kicking this guy's ass to the curb. Had she gotten pregnant accidentally I might understand her reluctance to leave him, but purposely getting pregnant?

 

And for all this speculation that she got pregnant with Jayde to trap Taylor, WTF was she trying to "trap"? A lazy, unemployed, not very attractive bearded douchenozzle? You have to trap those? Most people want to avoid those. I don't know, Taylor just pisses me off more and more with each episode being such an openly opportunistic famewhore. OK, rant over.

[ghoulina]

Especially when she said it was that or else she wouldn't work on the company anymore, while she was working on stuff for the company.  Okayyy...

 

This is Maci's MO. She issues ultimatums, but doesn't hold anyone to them. She has been making them to Taylor about getting engaged forever....and yet here we are. 

[toodywoody]

It is so clear Tyler is the source of Cate's anxiety. She lived her life trying not to upset her druggie parent and step parents that now she's trying not to upset Tyler. She is more concerned with upsetting him then speaking up and telling him to fuck off. I wish she could and would have met someone like Corey who helps out with the kids.

[ava111]

Sorry, ladies.  TTM's women's shirts are all sold out.  They'll be restocking probably never.

 

http://www.ttmlifestyle.com/womens-wear-new-products

LOL They are sold out because they wear all their inventory themselves. Every time they had their segment they had different ttm tee on.

[CofCinci]

Raise your hand if you believe that Amber never actually wanted Leah/Boo Boo to go to Florida with her. It was a false invite because she was totally convinced that Gary would not agree to the trip. She promised Leah Florida solely for the opportunity to create discord between Leah and Gary by saying "Your Dad won't let us take you to Florida." Amber and Matt wanted to sit by the pool/beach and drink/fight/fuck (Vegas Trip redux) without the responsibility of feeding a child. Coupled with learning that Amber hadn't paid child support -- when she's pulled in hundreds of thousands of dollars -- it's more proof of how vile Amber can be. At first I felt bad for her because Matt is going to leave her broke, heartbroken, and infected by an STI. Now, good. Can't wait for that happen. Amber has never done a single thing for her daughter. She deserves everything that will come for her this year.

Edited February 23, 2016 by CofCinci

[Cosmocrush]

Farrah is just ridiculous...60,000 for a ring? An elevator really? WTF do you need an elevator for??

It's hard to negotiate steps while wearing big sunglasses indoors.   

 

Simon's shirt at dinner looked like someone threw up on it. Yeah right on them buying a $2 million home and living there together. Simon must be smarter than that right? I don't even know what to say about Farrah, she truly is crazy. I could barely understand some of the stuff that was said by her and Larry at the end because they were talking over each other a lot, but did she say the reason the show took off was because Derek died? Larry said something about them walking in when she was in a cheerleading outfit and that was her response.

Bolding mine.   Yes, that's what she said, LOL.   I'm not proud of it but when MTV first showed Farrah's hissy fit on the front lawn, I rewound a couple times just to make sure.   I cracked up about the cheer leading uniform comment.   But my absolute favorite moment from that scene was Michael leaving the house in hurry, head down and making sure not to make eye contact with the production crew.  The guy looked like he just took a hell of a beat down from his lovely daughter.  Ha! 

 

Sophia is quite possibly the most obnoxious child I have ever seen anywhere.   Good grief, I feel so terrible for her teachers, present and future. 

 

No worries about the ring or the house because Farrah was just wasting sales people's time; she's didn't  buy the ring or the house and I'm sure she's not going to either.    I'm not even sure what that was about; watching Farrah shop for shit she's not going to buy?  Maybe Farrah was trying to pretend she's a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills instead of the low rent porn actress and future stripper she really is?  Doesn't she know those women actually buy the jewelry and the houses?    I'm not sure who Deborah thinks she is, but three generations of vile together made me feel bad for the driver stuck in a van with those three pieces of work.  

 

Her time with Simon was almost painful.  I'd feel sorry for her if she wasn't so repellent to everyone.  

Edited February 23, 2016 by Cosmocrush

[Brooklynista]

It is so clear Tyler is the source of Cate's anxiety. She lived her life trying not to upset her druggie parent and step parents that now she's trying not to upset Tyler. She is more concerned with upsetting him then speaking up and telling him to fuck off. I wish she could and would have met someone like Corey who helps out with the kids.

I like this game.

I agree. I would have put Catelynn with Corey. Cate needs someone tame, boring, tender and patient. Corey would have been the quiet in the storm that has been Catelyn's life.

I would put Farrah with Matt. She could have pushed him around to the end of the world and he would have eaten very bit of her shit as long as he gets to sit on the couch next to Dr Drew. Matt would have combed Sofia's hair, let her growl and hit him to her hearts content. Matt would have dealt with all of the batshit crazy Abrahams while he smoothly siphoned away all of Farrah's money.

Amber. Amber. Who gets stuck with Amber? Maybe Javi. He's learned to block punches.

[Jax7917]

These girls seriously have some nerve . Amber flipping out how she doesn't want to talk about this situation and that situation and Farrah going crazy on the producers all the time and won't let them use her bathroom . What diva bitches they are. They should kiss the ground these producers walk on because if it wasn't for them and the show that literally is centered on them talking about their lives , these girls would have NOTHING and wouldn't be "flipping " houses or on mother daughter tv shows .. Answer whatever the freak these producers want you to answer !

[Snarky McSnarky]

Back in 2013, Back Door Farrah had photos taken of her looking at a $3.3 Million house in Calabasas near the Kardashians and Bieber.  The homeowner was pissed because he didn't want pictures of his house all over the Internet.  Of course she had no intention or ability to buy.  As TMZ said, she might have money for the down payment, but "The monthly mortgage payments, on the other hand ... let's just say she might need to re-open the back door if she plans on staying here a while."

 

http://www.tmz.com/2013/05/16/farrah-abraham-teen-mom-porn-house-hunting-calabasas-justin-bieber

 

 

“She took photos without our permission,” owner Eyal Erster told Celebuzz. “I wasn’t aware she was taking photos inside our house and I wasn’t aware they’d be published where they did.”

 

http://starcasm.net/archives/221275

[Cosmocrush]

I am really curious about Amber's house flipping.  I wonder who did the work since Amber and Matt seem rooted to the sofa?  Did the $16K they put in it include the contractor?    

 

And speaking of sofa sitters, I noticed the place where your head rests on Gary's sofa was all worn out, lol.     But at least Christina has made that house look like a home, with stuff on the walls etc. Amber's place looks like it's completely empty - just a giant sectional sofa in a sea of dog piss.   At least she doesn't have a porta potty in the driveway ala Farrah.  

I like this game.

I agree. I would have put Catelynn with Corey. Cate needs someone tame, boring, tender and patient. Corey would have been the quiet in the storm that has been Catelyn's life.

I would put Farrah with Matt. She could have pushed him around to the end of the world and he would have eaten very bit of her shit as long as he gets to sit on the couch next to Dr Drew. Matt would have combed Sofia's hair, let her growl and hit him to her hearts content. Matt would have dealt with all of the batshit crazy Abrahams while he smoothly siphoned away all of Farrah's money.

Amber. Amber. Who gets stuck with Amber? Maybe Javi. He's learned to block punches.

Nice choices! I'd love to see Matt with Farrah. Hahahaha Edited February 24, 2016 by Cosmocrush

[luvgoldens]

I'd put Tyler with Farrah.  He and Butch could have a stripper bachelor party every night!  And let Butch push Sofia's face in a cake.  She'd slap him silly.

[happykitteh]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I

 

 

 

I loved Larry calling Ryan out on what he's going at 11 pm at night. No, he's not just "driving around". I can guarantee you that. And I KNEW he was still seeing Shelby on the downlow.

 

 

 

 

 

Until the producer brought up Shelby I thought this scene was going to be about Larry questioning Ryan regarding his late night disappearances and inferring to Ryan that he was suspicious Ryan was going out to get drugs.

 

 

What kind of health insurance do we think Tyler and Catelyn have? I feel like they must pay a ton of copays for all these therapy sessions. That shit adds up.

 

I'm thinking she may be going to a free or low cost community center that isn't staffed with properly trained people. I could be wrong but I don't think health insurance reimburses for "counselors" unless they have an M.D., PhD, or Masters in psychology or social work. That woman seems like she took a few psych classes in college and now calls herself a "counselor".

 

More evidence that proves to me that Farrah's $2 MIL house is all for show: She said that Simon found the house for her and she put ina bid based on photos. Knowing how controlling and picky Farrah is she would never, ever, put a bid in on a house sight unseen. Really, I don't know anyone, picky or not, who would bid on a house they hadn't set foot in, esp one that pricey.

Edited February 24, 2016 by happykitteh

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

Count me as someone who doesn't understand why it was cool for April and Butch to be around each other plenty during the earlier part of the season: at C&T's wedding and at their house (when Butch moved into the trailer in their driveway) but now, several months later, it's not okay. Is this no-contact order a new thing that's happened since the wedding? Did something go down between Butch and April since then and now there's a no-contact order?

Tyler sucks and so does Catelynn's therapist.

[toodywoody]

Yes Farrah with Tyler or Matt I would love to see. I would love to see Matt take all Farrah's money and her sitting there ugly crying that all her money is gone. Or who could out my shit don't stink each other first, Tyler or Farrah. They would literally drive each other insane with their nonstop talk of themselves.

[configdotsys]

This had to be the more boring finale I think I've seen... 

 

What about all the kids Matt has? Is Amber just in denial? wtf? No one came right out and asked him "Are these kids yours, Matt?" If all of these women are looking for him for child support, they surely know where he lives now. Why haven't any of them gone to TMZ?

 

Out of the blue, Ryan goes from considering a move to Nashville to turning into a possible Father of the Year candidate with no major event precipitating that? Um, okay. There was something way off about his affect in this episode to me.

 

Amber and Gary = boring. Sit on couch. Talk. Watch dogs shit. Lather, rinse, repeat.

 

Catelynn and Tyler seriously have no story anymore and there's no spark between them. Their scenes feel like they take forever to end.

 

Farrah's obnoxious behavior in the jewelry store was absolutely nauseating. And what the hell was up with Michael saying, "Busy" like 100 times in the restaurant? 

 

Taylor gets all woe is me when he has to update his own website with inventory and prices? Did he think the business he wanted was going to run on its own?

 

Off to read the comments. I live for this forum when a new episode airs. 

 

 

[CofCinci]

Count me as someone who doesn't understand why it was cool for April and Butch to be around each other plenty during the earlier part of the season: at C&T's wedding and at their house (when Butch moved into the trailer in their driveway) but now, several months later, it's not okay. Is this no-contact order a new thing that's happened since the wedding? Did something go down between Butch and April since then and now there's a no-contact order?

Tyler sucks and so does Catelynn's therapist.

I speculate that the no-contact order was in effect since the start of parole -- but Butch decided to ignore it for the wedding. When Butch doesn't want to do something, like attend a birthday party with the extended blended/poor boundaries family, he pulls the "I've got a no contact order" card.

[jennyf]

Caitlyn needs some cognitive behavioral therapy. Trying to get to the "root" of her anxiety and depression doesn't seem to be working or helping her. She needs to learn to reframe her thoughts and she needs some tools and coping skills.

[DangerousMinds]

April is looking rough "again"? When did she not look rough? People kept saying how good she looked but I never saw a difference at all.

I hate when people call post partum depression "post partum".

"I think she has post partum" sounds so damn stupid.

Tyler, you're a mama's boy asshole and even though I don't like her either, Cate is way too good for you.

I agree, and feel the exact same way about people referring to bipolar disorder simply as "bipolar." Like nails on a chalkboard.

[Racj82]

Ha. Farrah walking around in those booty shorts like she just got finished shooting another instalment of backdoor teen mom.

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

Flash forward seven years and we'll see Maci lamenting to her new guy or friend or Jenn & Larry that Taylor is an uninvolved, lazy dad and how it hurts her to see it happening to Jayde and baby3 (think the scenes where she bitches about Ryan, but this time it's her ex Taylor she's bitching about and the TWO kids he's apathetic about). Maci seems to have a type - douchey dude-bro who doesn't use protection and then is lazy at parenting.

Kyle King may not have been the most handsome guy but he's proven to be the smartest by basically refusing to knock up or marry Maci. He did, however, seem like he enjoyed Bintley and helped out with him. I remember at the reunion after they broke up that he was telling Dr Drew that he was sad about missing Bintley. Kyle *seemed* like he would have at least been less lazy and more involved with any kids he would have had with Maci. But of course, Maci has to reproduce two more times with "miracle babies" she made with the backwoods, low rent version of Ryan with an unkempt beard and constant Bud Lite in his hand. At least lazy, douchey Ryan is hot and comes with Jenn and Larry. Taylor brings absolutely nothing to the table.

If I was Bintley I'd be hoping I could just go live with Mimi & Papa once the new baby arrives.

Edited February 24, 2016 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[SnarkKitty]

* Wow, these girls can be bitches to these poor producers, amiright? I would *almost* feel sorry for them, but they created these monsters. So, enjoy!

 

* Simon: Stop playing, you're not buying that girl a ring at any point. How much did Farrah pay/promise you to carry out this part of the storyline?

 

* Hey Amb, we just want you to catch up with Crystal, aka talk about what you've already talked about, in a way that is clear it's not the first time. But thanks for that look at exactly how it's done. Oh, and if you don't want your shitty editing to be SUPER obvious (as opposed to just obvious), maybe don't run episodes back-to-back wherein Amber is wearing the exact same outfit and Matt has the exact same drinks in front of him as he did in the previous episode, which was allegedly a week or two prior. Mmkaythanks.

 

* Ryan has to be the A-#1 in the Obviously Prompted to Talk with Random Person by Producer Olympics. But Ryan was funny this episode: "Who all was there?" "Uh, the thick kid, and the really uncoordinated kid, and then some little small kid."

 

* Gary wants that money so bad Leah's bags were half packed before the words were out of his mouth. Funny, no concern about Matt, or Amber getting up, or getting her to school .. just, poof! All gone. He and Christina/Kristina were practically salivating.

 

* Sofia needs to stop hitting people. But not until she either a) hits some kid and they knock out another tooth, b) she mollywops her mother a good one upside the head, making her realize her kid hits people, or c) all the above. (Psst, I'm hoping for C, don't tell anyone).

 

* Hey, trashy Baltierras and company - maybe if y'all didn't have such a terrible co-dependent, abusive, Appalachian Brady relationships that landed Butch in jail again, your whole family could be in the same place at once. April, you could have taken 4 hours and given Butch a measly hour, you own part of the clusterfuck that is your family dynamic too. Poor Butch. Missed every cake occasion, doesn't know the smashing is at the wedding, not the 1st birthday.

* Kim: "Isn't it crazy Butch can't come until April leaves?" Subtext: "Whew, glad my ass isn't mixed up in that mess anymore, I ain't got to go nowhere - party over here, whoop whoop!" LOL.

 

* Matt - WTF do YOU know about co-parenting???? STFU! I'm so sick of his shit, just ever word out his mouth makes my skin crawl.

 

* Arrgh, these people are infuriating with their pissing, crapping animals. None of them know nothing about training ANY of their pets, and Amber is basically training those puppies to go everywhere, period. Crates, people. Tile floors, people. Baby gates. X-pens. Come on!! Pads placed in a big-assed open carpeted house = shit and piss all over the carpeted house. Ugh, how nasty, and you know they just towel off the top. Yuck. 

Edited February 24, 2016 by SnarkKitty

[lasandi]

Amber needs to stop saying she is paying to see her kid. No you dumbass, you know very well you are paying child support that you owe Gary, like it would be if the shoe was on the other foot. You don't get to spend all your money on deadbeat Matt. And one more thing, a man who don't give a shit if his own kids eat or not, ain't gonna give a damn about yours.

[WhosThatGirl]

Seriously Taylor is no better than Ryan, when it comes to helping out. As far as I've seen on the show. He seems into this for the show and the money so he can own a t-shirt company. Bentley is still adorable though and it's nice to see Ryan grow up and be a parent and yes he doesn't hurt on the eyes. Plus Jen and Larry are awesome and MTV needs to get on getting them their show and fast.

[fetching]

I so needed a laugh. Thanks, Skippy. :D

I could barely stay awake during these two episodes but came away with a few thoughts:

 

Way to shove Nova's face into that cake there Butch.  I guess since your no contact order prevents you from being around April and shoving her head into something, you shoved the one year old's face into her cake.  Five bucks says iCarly didn't get her little face shoved into her first birthday cake.  Dude is messed up and I hate the way he tosses that baby around and constantly mauls her.  She's a baby Butch, not a snack, get your damn mouth off of her.  I'm sure his face smells like grease and ciggies.  Poor Nova.

 

Second thought, Tyler can have several seats.  How about you leave poor Cate alone about her anxiety for 5 minutes there Skippy?  How 'bout that? Is there really nothing else you could be doing other than stalking and harping on that poor bundle of nerves that you married?  And of course the one scene where Catelynn seems content and productive and is calmly and happily working on her photo album, here comes Tyler...prancing in, and within 3 minutes the poor girl is in tears and chewing her hand off.  I'm no Ph.D. nor do I have a fancy office in the copy room, but I'm thinking that Tyler is the source of Catelynn's anxiety.  Deep down she knows he sucks and her future with Mr. Potato Head Hair is bleak.

 

Farrah's ass is comical.  Her face is comical.  She's comical.  Simon clearly winces every time she comes near him or touches him.  Sophia is the devil's spawn and Deborah is unhinged. UN. HINGED.  I actually feel a little scared when she's on the screen.

 

Lastly, usually I like Amber.  She's really come a long way since her addiction days and I feel bad for her that she's being taken for a big time ride by Matt. However that scene with her yelling at the producer (the one who calls her Ambie) was disgusting.  She doesn't want to talk about Gary, custody, or Matt every time the cameras are there?  What should they talk to you about?  Your job?  Oh wait... All of your friends?  Oh wait...  How far along you are in your college classes?  Oh wait... What exactly do you think you get that big check for Ambie?  And Gary and Kristina really should have a seat with all of their condescending talk about custody.  Just no because we all know Kristina does not have custody of her older daughter because she chose Gary and the show over her own child.  They can both have a seat next to Tyler in the therapist's copy room.  And for the life of me, what is UP with Amber's mother's voice?  Like nails on a chalk board.

 

That is all...

[Lexie]

Wow Amber has basically ruined the reputation that she was starting to build for herself. She's the same old angry bitch that she ever was, but now she has Matt there to tell her she's not wrong. She's supporting a deadbeat loser so why can't she also open up her wallet to pay child support for Leah? I don't get why she doesn't pay already. Matt has no business talking about Gary. So he's fat. His food addiction isn't ruining his life like ambers drug addiction did. Yeah it will probably catch up with him and ruin his health if he doesn't get it under control but he has been the functioning parent. Unlike Amber or Matt. At least Gary can control not knocking up a bunch of different girls even if he can't control how many slices of pizza he has. The audacity to treat the producer like that. Matt and Amber discuss Gary and the custody situation constantly so she should expect questions about it. Dumbass.

I was grossed out by the scene where Maci disciplined Bentley because it seemed like she was taking out all her anger and resentment from Taylor being a lazy loser on Bentley. She won't snap and tell Taylor she is sick of supporting them and she has to pay for everything because she is still trying to get him down the aisle so she just brings that up and talks about how she pays for everything to Bentley. Taylor did the same thing, he wants to tell a 7 year old that he needs to clean up when he himself can't even manage to clear the 10 empty water bottles off his nightstand. I'm not saying Bentley shouldn't have to speak respectfully to Maci and do his chores but hat whole scene was two losers placing the blame on the kid instead of communicating like adults about their frustrations regarding housework and finances

I think that what is really bothering cate is that she has been tiptoeing around her entire life as the daughter of an addict. That she still tiptoes around because her husband is a hothead and an asshole. And that she regrets giving up Carly but can't admit it because it would ruin the storyline she has on the show and she gets all of her income because of how she claims she doesn't regret it and it was the right decision.

Edited February 24, 2016 by Lexie

[NikSac]

* Simon: Stop playing, you're not buying that girl a ring at any point. How much did Farrah pay/promise you to carry out this part of the storyline?

 

I wonder if he got extra for letting her practically rip his face off in the car.

 

And we wonder why Sophia thinks it's acceptable and maybe even cute to hit people.

[Cosmocrush]

Farrah and Deb need therapy off of TV.

Or, just get off TV.   I honestly wouldn't miss either one of them, or Sophia.    They are all awful.  

 

 

Good Lord. You people are killing it with your comments. Maybe one of you could take over Caitlyn's therapy. She would be better off. Did Cait say the party was at her dad's house? He has always seemed like a normal guy. I wonder why he didn't step in to take her during April's meth years??

I might be wrong but I think her father lived in Florida until recently. 

Edited February 24, 2016 by Cosmocrush

[guilfoyleatpp]

There is zero chemistry between Farrah and Simon. She's so desperate to appear chipper. It would make me feel sorry for her, except I'm so beyond that. 2 million house and they're going to offer 1.75.  Uh huh. And let us know how that goes in this market in California. She's so fucking delusional. I don't often desire stuff like this, but I want to see LA chew her up and spit her ass out. Please God. Please let that happen.

 

I did feel bad for Catelynn being told by her "therapist" that she had post partum depression. I've been there, it sucks. The effort you put into denying it and then someone comes along and pricks the balloon. Ugh. And then she went home to that asshole she's married to...and zero fucks were given by him.

 

Amber and Matt...that house. I'm still trying to digest that there is a place where you can buy a HOUSE for under 200k.  I'm shocked. Their renovation was cheap, but holy shit. I did catch the rusty chain link fence to the left of the property, but still.  $69k. Dang. 

[salvame]

To be fair (but do I NEED to be fair?), it is a Mexican custom to push the birthday child's face into the cake. http://matadornetwork.com/abroad/7-signs-birthday-mexico/

Is Butch any part Mexican?

[kdl88]

Matt is disgusting. But not as disgusting as Farrah's butt implants.

[GreatKazu]

Yes, Butch is Mexican.

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

I think that what is really bothering cate is that she has been tiptoeing around her entire life as the daughter of an addict. That she still tiptoes around because her husband is a hothead and an asshole. And that she regrets giving up Carly but can't admit it because it would ruin the storyline she has on the show and she gets all of her income because of how she claims she doesn't regret it and it was the right decision.

This! ^^^SO MUCH THIS^^^

Lexie, are you available to be Catelynn's new therapist?

(For the record, I think C&T did the best thing for Carly by placing her for adoption but I agree Catelynn probably has lots of regrets and feelings about it she hasn't been able to deal with since she's the MTV generation's face for adoption.)

[Snarky McSnarky]

What did Farrah proudly say to the camera?  "THIS is how you ring shop in Austin."  No, this is how you waste people's time in Austin and everywhere else when you ask to see expensive stuff you have no intention of buying.  Just like you and Debra turning up your noses at houses you couldn't afford.  And those houses weren't even close to L.A.  Maybe Santa Clarita.  There's no beach for Sophia in the places you were looking.

 

I loved Matt pontificating about co-parenting.  What the fuck would that hit-and-run artist know about co-parenting?  Maybe he can explain it to the Judge next month when he has to go to court on his child support cases.

 

The house flipping story is a mystery.  Maybe I'm blind, but that house doesn't seem to appear on the Agent's website, either for sale or sold.  Could the whole thing be a fabrication for the cameras?  Too bad there isn't someone local who can shed some light on the situation.

 

http://www.nolimitrealestate.com

[Maharincess]

I agree, and feel the exact same way about people referring to bipolar disorder simply as "bipolar." Like nails on a chalkboard.

Yep. You can add "I'm a little OCD" to the list.

[WhosThatGirl]

Tyler just bugs me. I hope he never gets any sort of mental health problems, because he will get no sympathy from me. He was telling ate he gets so mad that SE can't get up am get ready for the day. As a person who does suffer from it is quite hard even on a good day for me to get out of my bed and start my day, you ass. The fact that she like others have said has to not say anything because it makes him angry is so screwedup as well. Way to be a husband. I bet you Dr Panda is going to side step this behavior. My guess is he is going to priqse Tyler for being such a good guy throughout this.

Edited February 24, 2016 by WhosThatGirl

[happykitteh]

I was grossed out by the scene where Maci disciplined Bentley because it seemed like she was taking out all her anger and resentment from Taylor being a lazy loser on Bentley. She won't snap and tell Taylor she is sick of supporting them and she has to pay for everything because she is still trying to get him down the aisle so she just brings that up and talks about how she pays for everything to Bentley. Taylor did the same thing, he wants to tell a 7 year old that he needs to clean up when he himself can't even manage to clear the 10 empty water bottles off his nightstand. I'm not saying Bentley shouldn't have to speak respectfully to Maci and do his chores but hat whole scene was two losers placing the blame on the kid instead of communicating like adults about their frustrations regarding housework and finances

 

 

You nailed it! She was saying to Bentley what she really wanted to say to Taylor and hoping he'd get the hint. Maci shouldn't have been bitching at Bentley at the dinner table, period. IMO, dinnertime should be a pleasant experience for kids and parents to gather and scoldings or discussions about what the kids did wrong that day should take place before or after dinner. The exception to this is if the kid is acting up at the table. That behavior does need to be addressed immediately.

 

 

I think that what is really bothering cate is that she has been tiptoeing around her entire life as the daughter of an addict. That she still tiptoes around because her husband is a hothead and an asshole. And that she regrets giving up Carly but can't admit it because it would ruin the storyline she has on the show and she gets all of her income because of how she claims she doesn't regret it and it was the right decision.

 

Add to this the fact that Tyler basically bullied her into giving up Carly, threatened to break up with her if she didn't go along with adoption, and now she' probably thinking, "This asshole is who I gave up my baby for??" While I do think giving up Carly was the absolute correct decision that fact that Tyler thinks he's sooo fucking awesome that the threat of losing him was the ultimate card to play with Cate makes me retch. IMO, he didn't care so much about Carly's well being as he did his own and not wanting to pay child support - not knowing the MTV gravy train was on the horizon.

 

 

I agree, and feel the exact same way about people referring to bipolar disorder simply as "bipolar." Like nails on a chalkboard.

 

Eh, I do this, shorten postpartum depression to just postpartum or bipolar disorder to simply bipolar. It's easier and quicker to type and I assume those reading know what I mean. It's not like I'm writing professionally here, lol.

Edited February 24, 2016 by happykitteh

[Reghan]

I would love to see Farrah with Nathan...purely for the hilariousness that would ensue...but Matt as well hahaha

 

Amber...Javi could handle her pretty well.

 

Maci, I'd love to see her with Simon. That would be interesting.

 

I agree with Catelynn and Corey. She needs someone like him. 

 

I like this game a lot xD