Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)

[Roslyn]

13 hours ago, Nysha said:

I needed Turmeric for a soup recipe and found a great buy on Amazon for what I thought was going to be 2 cups (16 oz). It turned out to be 1 pound. Which is an even better deal, but will last me for the rest of my life and possibly my children's lives.

Ahhh, fallen prey to the dreaded volume vs. mass!! 2 cups (volume) is only 16 fluid ounces.  16 mass ounces is a very different measurement. Some day America might teach grams and milliliters side by side hopefully.  I've had to teach myself as an adult and my daughter learned, but only once she entered higher up sciences in high school. 

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

13 hours ago, Nysha said:

I needed Turmeric for a soup recipe and found a great buy on Amazon for what I thought was going to be 2 cups (16 oz). It turned out to be 1 pound. Which is an even better deal, but will last me for the rest of my life and possibly my children's lives.

Don't fret, I am sure Janelle will post something like, turmeric can  clean bathtubs for water births, or one part turmeric and sea salt will scrub the funk off of your sisterwives feet.

[ginger90]

[tabloidlover]

She’s got to be joking... right??   Right??   

[lookeyloo]

57 minutes ago, tabloidlover said:

She’s got to be joking... right??   Right??   

I don't know.  There are some people all thumbs.  I'm married to one of them.  He is not coordinated enough to wrap a gift that is presentable.  He could probably use a youtube video.  As to Janelle, what can she do that doesn't stress her out or worry her, or make her anxious, tired, hungry, etc.

[Kohola3]

29 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

He could probably use a youtube video.

But every year? 

I'm sorry, how much of an idiot must one be to "forget" how to wrap some paper around a box and add tape?

[GrannySmith]

She must be getting plenty of practice, wrapping birthday presents for the family all year. How could she forget?  Oh wait....

[Sandy W]

She's missing a golden opportunity to ingratiate herself to Meri, making Meri feel even more superior, by asking for assistance from "the creative one".  Isn't that what sister wives are for, to lend a helping hand to each other?  Oh wait..........

[sharkerbaby]

1 hour ago, Kohola3 said:

But every year? 

I'm sorry, how much of an idiot must one be to "forget" how to wrap some paper around a box and add tape?

I don't consider my best friend (who also earned her PhD) an idiot even though anything she wraps apparently requires a whole roll of tape to stay wrapped and still has corners of wrapping paper askew and pieces of the box peeping through - and yes it's every year.  

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

this is why wetbars are a necessity. 

4 hours ago, ginger90 said:

wasn't the wet bar also a gift wrapping station... damn you Meri

[Galloway Cave]

2 hours ago, sharkerbaby said:

I don't consider my best friend (who also earned her PhD) an idiot even though anything she wraps apparently requires a whole roll of tape to stay wrapped and still has corners of wrapping paper askew and pieces of the box peeping through - and yes it's every year.  

I don't think she's saying she is just a sloppy wrapper, she totally forgets how to wrap a box. At her age, with six kids, hasn't she had plenty of repetition? It's also a little mind-boggling that she thinks it's OK to state this on social media, where everyone is gonna have a WTF? comment.

Edited December 23, 2018 by Galloway Cave

[Pickleinthemiddle]

I rarely buy gifts anymore ( gift cards ).  But when I do it goes into a pretty gift bag.  I can wrap, but don't like to,  they look okay, but not great.  My daughter on the other hand could wrap them for a living.  She is creative.

[sharkerbaby]

1 hour ago, Galloway Cave said:

I don't think she's saying she is just a sloppy wrapper, she totally forgets how to wrap a box. 

 

Well, she does include the phrase "without making a mess of them" but perhaps my interpretation of her statement was incorrect.

Edited December 23, 2018 by sharkerbaby

[LilWharveyGal]

Here's what I don't understand - there are a billion people in this family that has been together for 20+ years.  That's an endless stream of Christmases, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, and now showers, weddings, and babies...not to mention Joseph Smith Day, Hanukkah, and whatever other holidays Christine picked up decorations for at the party supply store.  So Janelle should have an opportunity to practice her wrapping at least monthly.  Is she really telling us that her memory is that bad?  If she's too lazy or too sloppy to wrap, that's fine, but who cares?  Why start now?

I just don't get the point of this post.  It's like she's trying to be humble and relatable, but it just makes her sound nuts.

Edited December 23, 2018 by LilWharveyGal

[Kohola3]

5 hours ago, sharkerbaby said:

I don't consider my best friend (who also earned her PhD) an idiot even though anything she wraps apparently requires a whole roll of tape to stay wrapped and still has corners of wrapping paper askew and pieces of the box peeping through - and yes it's every year.  

I don't mean that a messy wrapper is an idiot. I mean someone who says she needs to watch a video every year to relearn basic wrapping is just making herself look foolish by admitting it. 

I am not the neatest wrapper but I mostly use gift bags anyway since our family recycles them year after year.  Tearing off paper and throwing it away seems wasteful to us. But if I did do a lot of wrapping I can honestly say I wouldn't need a video to put two ends together and tape them even if things ended up a bit askew.

STRIVE to make yourself look sane, Janelle.

[ginger90]

Clearing pictures from my phone. Thought I’d put this one here. 😉

[xwordfanatik]

Janelle needs one of those.

[MonicaM]

7 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

Janelle needs one of those.

Reading the instructions would be too stressful for her.

[Sasha888]

8 minutes ago, MonicaM said:

Reading the instructions would be too stressful for her.

Ha ha ha, yes! Do I take the block out of the plastic bag or leave it in? Do I walk clockwise or counterclockwise? A carpeted floor, or a hard surface floor? How fast should I walk? What kind of shoes should I wear? Do I "do it again" one time or many times?

Oh...it's all just too much to think about. I better go sit by the fire with a 500 calorie molasses cardamom cinnamon tumeric nutmeg ginger cloves agave honey ghee coconut oil latte and think this over.

OH wait, scratch the nutmeg, I will pass out. 

[toodles]

13 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

Ha ha ha, yes! Do I take the block out of the plastic bag or leave it in? Do I walk clockwise or counterclockwise? A carpeted floor, or a hard surface floor? How fast should I walk? What kind of shoes should I wear? Do I "do it again" one time or many times?

Oh...it's all just too much to think about. I better go sit by the fire with a 500 calorie molasses cardamom cinnamon tumeric nutmeg ginger cloves agave honey ghee coconut oil latte and think this over.

OH wait, scratch the nutmeg, I will pass out. 

She would need to buy special shoes too.  That requires many hours of research and agonizing before she can actually BUY shoes.

Merry Christmas to all my PTV peeps.  May all your green goo be extra gooey and bright 🌞

[Sasha888]

Merry Christmas to you too, Toodles! And Merry Christmas to all (and to all a good night)! You guys are the best! :-)

[xwordfanatik]

Merry Christmas Toodles, Sasha, and all of my fellow posters here!  Just think, another month, and we'll have fresh snark, even though we know some of what the Brown Clowns have been up to.  Won't that be fun?

[Pickleinthemiddle]

Merry Christmas everyone.  Eat as much as you want to.  You know holiday calories don't count.

[andromeda331]

Merry Christmas everyone!

[xwordfanatik]

2 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

Merry Christmas everyone!

Thank you, and you have a Merry Christmas, as well :)

[ginger90]

Putting this here....

[Sasha888]

I was not aware that my cat's stunt double was at Michelle's for Christmas. :-)

Could she teach Janelle how to cook, maybe? Nah, what am I thinking. A recipe with more than 3 ingredients (excluding loads of spices, of course) would freak her out. Besides, these aren't "nutritional rock stars" (fads)....they are regular foods, like salmon, asparagus, etc. That you have to prepare, not just dump in your coffee.

[giaNtsandYankees]

I'm wondering if Janelle might be wired a little differently - I'm not saying this to be rude, I'm just curious. With her SWJ posts, and how she was at a doughnut eating contest at her daughter's wedding shower, and how she wanted to go fishing on the morning of her daughter's wedding when her daughter needed her.

But anyway, I skimmed through her SWJ Facebook page. I'm curious as to how many of her 11,000 followers are just SW fans, or people who sincerely hope to "Strive." One person actually made a comment as to how Janelle inspires her. Janelle's posts does not inspire me to strive along with her. 

Not to be arrogant, but here's how I would handle a post/blog:

 

For a quick breakfast, I'd like to have oatmeal. I usually buy the Giant brand, as they have more vitamins and minerals than the Quaker Oats brand. I prefer to prepare it with some vanilla soy milk (as dairy milk never agreed with me, health wise), and I'll add in some chia seeds. Being a vegetarian, I'll have to find ways to add protein and iron in my diet. The oatmeal provides an ample amount of iron, where the soy milk and the chia seeds adds in the protein. The soy milk also has vitamin B12, which along with the iron helps give me the energy that I need in the morning. 

I'll let the chia seeds (along with the oatmeal) soak in the bowl of soy milk for about five minutes to maximize its benefits. Then I'll microwave it for one minute.

After my oatmeal is ready, I'll throw in some blueberries (a rich antioxidant, with vitamins C and K, and good for your immune system) and a banana (which provides vitamins B6 and C, potassium and other great minerals). 

A good and healthy breakfast for a person on the go - starting your day off right with the nutrients that you need!

<add photo of oatmeal with blueberries and sliced banana here>

 

Okay, not exactly Pulitzer Prize winning, but it's something.

Edited December 27, 2018 by giaNtsandYankees

[laurakaye]

I don't know about the rest of y'all, but I am going to make that oatmeal this weekend!

Pretty sure Janelle is incapable of writing something that good - however, if she were serious about this Strive nonsense, it seems like it wouldn't be a stretch for her to ask a friend or even one of her kids to proofread her sad-sack blogs before she posts. 

Instead, I envision her schlumped on the couch in her coffee-and-molasses stained robe, dirty bare feet propped up on a footstool, while she Googles the latest fad and throws together a pathetic post to satisfy her need for having accomplished something for the day...before she begins the arduous tasks of getting dressed, avoiding Meri at the mailbox, and hoping it's not her turn for the Kodester.

Edited December 27, 2018 by laurakaye

[Kohola3]

3 hours ago, giaNtsandYankees said:

Okay, not exactly Pulitzer Prize winning, but it's something.

Janelle could never have written anything that erudite, not in a million years.  For one thing, I don't think she has the intelligence but more importantly it would be way too much work.  All of those words?  With correct spelling and grammar?  Nope, that would exhaust her.

[Sasha888]

Plus there's no crazy fad involved. We must have a "find" from the internet, something that someone with no qualifications has declared to be the best thing ever...something a little bit strange, that you don't already have on hand, so you can go buy a gallon drum of it and use it once.

[deirdra]

Janelle would need to watch a YouTube video every year to get exercise from that block of wood.

[ginger90]

[Absolom]

I notice it wasn't home packed, but a party pak from the store.  At least it's better than Fritos.

[Kohola3]

OK, so I'm glad she picked something healthy for munching along the road but I'm not sure a veggie tray from the local Piggly Wiggly deserves a photo shoot.

#carrotsarehealthydipnotsomuch  #veggiesaregoodallyearnotjustaftertheholiday

[ChiCricket]

On 12/17/2018 at 6:44 PM, ginger90 said:

 Now she’s thrown up a post touting nutmeg. Google nutmeg Janelle.

 I  had no idea until I just googled it that you could get high from it. Wow.

[Yeah No]

On 12/19/2018 at 8:11 PM, BradandJanet said:

I pop into the Janelle thread here occasionally. Her posts sound like the voice of someone who is depressed. There is nothing uplifting or optimistic about any of them. Life coaching doesn't seem like a good choice for her right now. 

I thought exactly the same thing.  It also sounds to me like she didn't really want to move and is trying to keep positive about everything, unsuccessfully.  Instead of facing her real feelings about anything she just makes whiny, wistful posts about not being motivated to do tree trimming that come off like she's trying to make lemonade out of lemons and missing the mark.

[Gothish520]

On 12/18/2018 at 7:57 AM, Yeah No said:

I thought this whole conversation about nutmeg was a joke.  I've known about nutmeg's possible side effects for a long time, but it would take what would be considered a LOT of nutmeg to produce any kind of reaction, much more than any recipe would ever call for or anyone would ever want on taste alone.  The incidence of any kind of reaction to nutmeg is extremely small too.  Nutmeg is only very lightly dusted on anything.  A little goes a long way because any more than that starts to taste bitter.  I sprinkle a little on egg nog and some in alfredo and other white sauce dishes, but a sprinkle is probably more than 100 times less than it would take to even cause a mild reaction.  Judging from Janelle's post, she only sprinkled it lightly over a drink.  I only found out about nutmeg about a decade ago, but even before that I would never have wanted to use more than a sprinkle on anything.  While I think Janelle is often a dolt about stuff like that, I doubt there's much danger that she's going to start chugging the stuff any time soon.

(Greetings from the Nutmeg State!)

Hey fellow Nutmegger! 

Finally catching up on posts after a hectic couple of weeks, so hope everyone had a great holiday - Happy New Year! 

[VedaPierce]

On 9/12/2018 at 11:17 PM, Absolom said:

It all depends on the market and location, location, location.  I sold my mother's house without doing a single one of those things.  A major key is not to over price the house when it goes on the market and to find a good agent not a slug like Janelle.   I had five offers before we even considered an open house.  

Absolutely. Location sells it first, the right price sells it second. Don't care how many cookies you bake. Savvier buyers don't give a crap about the colors on the wall. If you can't sell, drop the price. (I know I'm a few months behind in the Janelle thread, lol, just had a chance to start catching up. And something tells me nothing's changed with her anyway. I'm sure by the time I get to the last page here, she'll still be throwing shit in a blender because she's too busy to chew, and wait for it...she'll still weigh the same.

Edited December 30, 2018 by VedaPierce

[VedaPierce]

On 9/18/2018 at 8:17 PM, Kohola3 said:

Sorry, I find Janelle's posts like what I would expect from Eeyore. They are so damned depressing.  I get nothing from them at all except the desire to take an anti-depressant.

I think Janelle is a horrible writer. She's very boring, very trite. Her words have no real spark and fall flat. Platitudes, words words words, nothing jumps out at me. Lifeless, nothing funny, no new perspectives, just...BLAH! I forget what she writes  immediately. There's no love, deception, greed, lust, and unbridled enthusiasm." - Kramer

She really should take a writing class if she wants to be in the social media game, if it's important to her to sound dynamic and interesting...

Edited December 31, 2018 by VedaPierce

[VedaPierce]

On 10/4/2018 at 6:00 AM, ginger90 said:

If you want the recipe for the sauce, Janelle doesn’t have it!

Go look it up ! 

Omg. I can't even with her....she is such a useless moron. YOU'RE IN THIS BUSINESSES, JANELLE!! Get it??! You want people to pay you for your health advice!! Find a freaking recipe on Pinterest, change an ingredient or two and post it, you freaking imbecile!! I swear, I detest her more than Meri.

[VedaPierce]

On 10/18/2018 at 11:54 AM, Xena said:

Every time you are puzzled by why Janelle acts a certain way, you have to remember - she has more than one screw loose.  Janelle CHOSE polygamy.  She was not raised in it.  As an adult - she CHOSE to live this lifestyle (all the other wives were brought up with the religious nonsense, so I give them a wee bit of a pass).

She's simply bonkers.  It helps explain a lot.

She also chose to live in a teepee in the winter, she also chose to divorce her husband, then chase down and marry an already married man--who was married to her sister-in-law!! She's insane. 

[ginger90]

[Sandy W]

I am knocked out by Janelle's tree.  If she decorated that herself, she is underestimating her creativity.

[Kohola3]

Just now, Sandy W said:

I am knocked out by Janelle's tree.  If she decorated that herself, she is underestimating her creativity.

Didn't she post something earlier about her terminal ennui and inability to finish the tree?  The kids probably did it.

[laurakaye]

50 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

Didn't she post something earlier about her terminal ennui and inability to finish the tree?  The kids probably did it.

No way did Janelle decorate that tree.  If I recall, she posted something about starting it, followed by meditating on what it means to be a tree or the meaning of life or something, then she went into another room to stare at a wall and she concluded by saying that the tree might just have to go unfinished because reasons.

Either her kids did it for her or Meri did it.  Oh, wait - LOLOLOL.  Must've been her kids.

[Roslyn]

2 hours ago, laurakaye said:

No way did Janelle decorate that tree.  If I recall, she posted something about starting it, followed by meditating on what it means to be a tree or the meaning of life or something, then she went into another room to stare at a wall and she concluded by saying that the tree might just have to go unfinished because reasons.

Either her kids did it for her or Meri did it.  Oh, wait - LOLOLOL.  Must've been her kids.

I think that is Christine's house, so Christine's tree.  It's the same carpet in the photo one of her daughters posted with a new puppy. A weird fuzzy brown carpet.

[Gothish520]

4 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Garrison is looking more and more like his big brother.

I never would have thought that blue and brown would work on a Christmas tree, but that looks amazing.

[Kohola3]

59 minutes ago, Roslyn said:

I think that is Christine's house, so Christine's tree.

I'm the traditional type so I think it's positively hideous.  Walmart has been trying to offload those awful turquoise ornaments for years and can't sell them at 75% off.

Edited December 31, 2018 by Kohola3

[Gothish520]

3 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

I'm the traditional type so I think it's positively hideous.  Walmart has been trying to offload those awful turquoise ornaments for years and can't sell them at 75% off.

I would not decorate my tree this way, but somehow it works if one is into those colors. I'm much more traditional too and love when a tree is done in red, white and green, with some silver and gold thrown in - so beautiful and the combination really nails the Christmas spirit. My trees have many different ornaments with different colors but they're not done in one specific color combo so they look fairly traditional, though I do have some kitsch - think pizza slices, motorcycles, and wine bottles :D

My mother hated those jewel tones at Christmas too - all those weird shades of blue and pink ornaments were a big NO from her, lol!