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Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)


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My Christmas tree is a mishmash of old and newer.  I have some ornaments from my childhood, that are over 50 years old.  My lights are the old-fashioned but updated kind that are, what is it?  LED or something!  I put it up sometime after the first of December, and leave it up until New Year's Day.  So tomorrow will find me taking it down, and missing it for a week or two.  

Nope, I couldn't do a trendy tree a la Pinterest.  BTT, are Janelle's sons Hunter and Garrison still in the military career path?  

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3 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

My Christmas tree is a mishmash of old and newer.  I have some ornaments from my childhood, that are over 50 years old.  My lights are the old-fashioned but updated kind that are, what is it?  LED or something!  I put it up sometime after the first of December, and leave it up until New Year's Day.  So tomorrow will find me taking it down, and missing it for a week or two.  

Nope, I couldn't do a trendy tree a la Pinterest.  BTT, are Janelle's sons Hunter and Garrison still in the military career path?  

I keep everything up until after January 6th (Epiphany/Three Kings Day). I'm not the least bit religious but I use it as an excuse with Mr. Gothish, aka Scrooge, lol! He knows full well I just want to keep the decorations up longer. It reminds me of an old one-panel comic I saw several years ago: a couple is sitting in lounge chairs, wearing summer clothes and sunglasses, with a nearly bare-branched Christmas tree between them - the caption is the woman saying to the man "I think we've stretched the Christmas season as long as we can." I can so relate!

Not sure about Hunter and Garrison, maybe someone who follows the family on social media knows?

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My tree is very traditional.  Almost all of my ornaments are over 100 years old.  However, I have a new kitten this year, and I didn't know how trustworthy she would be.  So my tree this year is multi-colored lights with white glittery "snowballs" and clear ornaments with white swirls, both in various sizes.  And they are cat-proof.  It actually looks quite nice, and Flora-the-kitten didn't pay any attention to the tree.  So next year I can get my "good" ornaments out (maybe).

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How many hours does it take for Janelle to change a lightbulb? 

First she has to have a conversation with herself and figure out if changing the lightbulb is something she really wants to do.

Then she has to struggle with the finding of that special, rockstar, lightbulb that she bought in bulk 8 years ago, then promptly lost in a junk drawer full of less special lightbulbs that she's also never used.

Finally she has to contemplate getting her ass off the couch to go to the garage to get a stepladder out, shrug and decide to not bother, until Logan shows up to do it for her. (Don't forget to post a pic of the burnt out lightbulb and talk about the struggle). 

So total 3 hours, and still no changed lightbulb. And funny enough, still no weight loss! 

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I like her tree, but I wouldn’t necessarily choose it for me.  I LOVE Christmas and my trees stay up until Epiphany. My trees are traditional—both our parents started ornament collections for us when we were kids and we are doing the same for our children. Of course there are also all the treasures my kids have made me over the years. Now in a dream world I would have about a dozen trees and could do some theme ones. There is a cool house near me that overlooks the river—-four stories with glass windows on all four levels in one corner. They do a different color tree on each level so in the dark it looks like four trees stacked on top of each other. So beautiful!

Edited by HooHooHoo
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On 12/31/2018 at 11:15 AM, Roslyn said:

I think that is Christine's house, so Christine's tree.  It's the same carpet in the photo one of her daughters posted with a new puppy. A weird fuzzy brown carpet.

I was thinking it was Meri's house. In one of the pictures you can see a coffee table and I thought I recognized it as Meri's. Well, it's not Janelle's tree or house, you can bet on that! :-)

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We don't have a tree (Jewish) but I like looking at them.  Can one buy a tree already decorated?  Maybe that's what is in the picture.  Order, open box, stand it up, voila.  Then more time for the "inspirational" strive posts.  And, as far as that veggie tray, I'm sure she didn't show us the bag of Fritos she will top it off with.

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I just left the memory care unit and some of the residents there move more than Janelle does.  They also get more done in their own way.  One woman had made about dozen bracelets today.

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Of course Janelle doesn't know where her puzzle board is.  It's probably in the same box as the shoes she can only use for spin class.

In the meantime I sit here, befuddled, with a cup of plain black coffee waiting for Janelle to tell me what to put in it.  Come on, Janelle!  Wake up!

Edited by laurakaye
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Those are two fine looking young men.  I think Garrison resemblances Hunter and Gabrielle looks like Logan.  Wonder if they will follow their parents into polygamy.

Edited by Adeejay
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Thanks, Janelle!  A new year is the time to....zzzzzzzzzzzz...Make resolutions!  And energy!  And...zzzzzzzzz.....(snore) Renewal!  New Year!  

Scintillating stuff from Life Coach Janelle.  Consider me energized....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

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And Meri just posted a pic from her walk where it looks like they all barely got more that a dusting of snow. Lol lol good excuse, Janelle, to sit in your ratty robe all day, drinking buttered coffee. 

Nothing like a Sister Wife to post passive-aggressive photographic proof of contradictory weather reports. Tee hee :) I guess Janelle’s cover for being ‘snowbound’ just got blown by good ole Merri!

Get your ass out there and start hiking them hills, Janelle!

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Janelle claims to be this woman-of-the-wild, teepee-living, fishing and camping outdoorsy-type person.  You would think that based on that alone, she could and SHOULD be able to lose weight simply by walking trails and exploring her hew surroundings.  But - brrrrrrrr, it's cold!

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Good God, does she seriously believe this bullshit she writes? Breathe deeply, then do it through one nostril to really super-charge it. And this has "rocked her world". 

Think about that for a minute. Breathing...has rocked Janelle's world.

And I thought only a cattle prod would wake her lazy ass up!

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I've been breathing my whole life as has every other living person since the Neanderthals so I'm not sure how this is rocking anyone's world.  Oxygen in, carbon dioxide out.  Big whoop.

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30 minutes ago, LilWharveyGal said:

Ok, which one of you hacked Janelle's account and posted this?  That's one of the best parodies of her I've ever seen.

I wish I had.  I don't have a clue on how to do something like that. 

Telling people how to breathe. Who knew I was doing it wrong!!  I use BOTH nostrils.  Hey, thanks Janelle.

What a toad load of insipid crap.

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The first box sounds like it really is Janelle, the second not so much because a link is attached and Janelle's MO is to say "look it up".

Actually, deep breathing and one-nostril breathing to get more oxygen into your lungs & blood stream to help with energy, lung congestion and asthma (especially for bedridden people) has been around for a long time, so it is not surprising that Janelle has just now learned about it.  What's next - sitting and standing up straight, cleaning the house & doing laundry and exercising to improve oxygen levels?

Edited by deirdra
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Janelle as a life/health coach cracks me up.  I don't think I've seen a less motivated person in my life although that's sometimes a toss up in this bunch.  Does she have a real job in addition to this "coaching"?

Edited by Irate Panda
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20 minutes ago, Irate Panda said:

Does she have a real job in addition to this "coaching"?

She's supposedly a Realtor at which she is apparently as successful as her coaching job.  At one point she was showing the LV houses but obviously didn't do too well there either.

She'd be better as a cloistered nun who never needs to leave the confines of a convent or interact with the public.  Although she'd have to leave her closet full of quarts of fad food behind.

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47 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

She's supposedly a Realtor at which she is apparently as successful as her coaching job.  At one point she was showing the LV houses but obviously didn't do too well there either.

She'd be better as a cloistered nun who never needs to leave the confines of a convent or interact with the public.  Although she'd have to leave her closet full of quarts of fad food behind.

And her newly ringleted spiritual husband.  I'm pretty sure I read that he's had hair extensions as well.  Didn't help.  

Janelle is pretty obviously not a "people person," which I can relate to, as I'm not very social.  But it seems to me that to be a successful realtor, one should not be an introvert to that degree.

Health coach is laughable.  Do they use this Strive "business" as a tax dodge, I wonder?

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On 1/4/2019 at 12:24 PM, ginger90 said:

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Oh my hell...is she honestly presenting the idea of breathing as an aid to anxiety as some kind of revolutionary find? Being Janelle must be exhausting.

On 1/4/2019 at 3:44 PM, Kohola3 said:

I've been breathing my whole life as has every other living person since the Neanderthals so I'm not sure how this is rocking anyone's world.  Oxygen in, carbon dioxide out.  Big whoop.

Yes, but have you been doing it in a super-special, conscious, energy-aware, PURPOSEFUL way? Hmm, have you? Well, you've been doing it WRONG.

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1 hour ago, the-grey-lady said:

Yes, but have you been doing it in a super-special, conscious, energy-aware, PURPOSEFUL way? Hmm, have you? Well, you've been doing it WRONG.

Apparently but I'm nearly 70 and can still work circles around Janelle so I guess normal breathing still works.  Just not the "world rocking" variety.

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So, since I can't imagine people actually paying to Strive with Janelle and she doesn't seem to be tearing up the real estate market are Kody and Meri with her lawsuit leggings now the bread winners of the family?  I always question how reality show participants cover their expenses while on these shows but the Browns (all 30000 of them) are something else.  I guess the bankruptcies and MLM aren't too surprising.

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17 hours ago, ginger90 said:

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What do I like to do to get me outside??  What kind of stupid sentence is that?  Well, for me, I like to open the front door to get me outside.  I also like to put on my shoes to get me outside.  What do the rest of you like to do to get you outside?

So far this month we have breathing and going outside.  I am dumbfounded.

Edited by laurakaye
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On 1/3/2019 at 12:51 PM, ginger90 said:

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Jesus H, Janelle. She is the perfect example of someone who turns a molehill into a mountain, she exaggerates just about everything. "Buried in snow and ice?" I was just in Flagstaff, it's not that bad (and it was snowing). And the lamenting about winter (and anything). She makes it sound like she's in AK on "Life Below Zero", not Flagstaff, AZ. 

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Let's be real, Janelle. What the hell else do you have to do besides cook dinner? You have two older children at home and no job. If you want to make stir fry out of bag, go for it. But don't act like you're "being real" with us about how busy you are or something. This is what you WANTED to make, not what you HAD to make because of your hectic lifestyle.

Oh, how could I forget, she had to "get herself outside" and walk. So of course she's exhausted.

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3 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

I surely wish there was a hidden camera in her house.  I wonder if she gets off the couch more than to go to the kitchen for a healthy snack topped off with a bag of fritos, and then the bathroom.  

This just made me think of a new product endorsement for Janelle.  She could possibly get behind one of the diarrhea teas and advise her followers to poop their problematic pounds away.

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1 hour ago, Sasha888 said:

Let's be real, Janelle. What the hell else do you have to do besides cook dinner? You have two older children at home and no job. If you want to make stir fry out of bag, go for it. But don't act like you're "being real" with us about how busy you are or something. This is what you WANTED to make, not what you HAD to make because of your hectic lifestyle.

Oh, how could I forget, she had to "get herself outside" and walk. So of course she's exhausted.

What hectic lifestyle?

Ah, never mind. I guess being in front of the cameras, avoiding Meri, and typing up her daily Strive posts counts as hectic in Janelle's book...

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