Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)

[MakingBacon]

Maybe Janelle has one of those daily calendars where there is a new health fact every day and she just uses that for her posts. Or a word of the day toilet paper. 

I can’t wait for her post on how one of the little known ways to combat dehydration is to drink water. 

[ginger90]

16 minutes ago, MakingBacon said:

I can’t wait for her post on how one of the little known ways to combat dehydration is to drink water. 

And she thought about it, but kept putting it off.

[xwordfanatik]

It's so difficult to hoist one's butt off the sofa, and walk to the sink, and turn the faucet on.  Adding ice cubes, even more exhausting.  Janelle, you have zero credibility as a "fitness guru" or whatever you call yourself.  Cook up another scheme to wrest money from your army of sycophants, that hang on your every dumb word.

[Twopper]

1 hour ago, TurtlePower said:

She's a certifiable idiot. Just when it seems she cannot possibly become any more stupid, she does. 

She must have zero perception of how stupid she comes across when she posts this stuff. It's laughable.........like, really? She doesn't see how idiotic she looks? Imagine if Kody's drafting professional gave him a crayon sketch of the house he wants. That's how Janelle appears every time she posts something about health or wellness. Fucking idiot. 

Yes, a crayon drawing of the House of Four Wives and Janelle's Strive is a great comparison.   Oh, drat.  Now "House of Four Doors" will play in my mind all day.  Sometimes I outsmart myself with my pathetic attempts at snark.

I generally limit my knowledge of Kody's various tribes to this forum and the show, but today I  ventured off to google-land to research this Strive idiocy.   She actually has Strive merchandise for sale on the website.  And a huge picture of herself in pink.  Shelby from Steel Magnolias might approve.  Or not.  

The picture on her FB page was so touched up that I didn't recognize her.  I was disappointed to see that one of my FB friends follows her. This is a person I have known since middle school, and she is short with a weight problem.  I think she tried to get on biggest Loser once.   I can't believe she follows Janelle.  In fact, I need to forget it.  We have never mentioned the program to each other, and I never will now, 'BUT The next time I visit this friend I will be sneaking around her house looking for "Strive " products. 

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

There are so many things more worthy of my 10.00 a month. I could actually join a gym and pay 10.00 a month, that would mean I would be working out, not just sitting on a couch spewing random shit from the internet. I could wash my car 3x's a month in the drive through and get a free vacuum. I could buy a nice bottle of Fat Bastard Chardonnay to enjoy while watching this shit show. I could buy 5lbs of boneless skinless chicken to cook healthy meals that are not laden with salt and preservatives & most importantly, buy a fucking clue and still have change unlike Janelle  

[suomi]

My hell, Mahamid Frauded Me, I looked up Fat Bastard to see if it was a real thing or something witty you came up with and also found out about Arrogant Bastard. Thank you, you made my day!

Edited April 3, 2019 by suomi
typo

[suomi]

LMAO because below some of the Sister Wives threads I'm seeing an ad that says "There is a really simple way to get rid of that awful musty smell in the house." With a photo of a big ol' nasty patch of brown/black mold crawling up the drywall. 

I thought it appropriate to post this in Janelle's thread. 

[Kohola3]

Just now, suomi said:

LMAO because below some of the Sister Wives threads I'm seeing an ad that says "There is a really simple way to get rid of that awful musty smell in the house." With a photo of a big ol' nasty patch of brown/black mold crawling up the drywall. 

And I keep getting ads about foreclosures!

[Gothish520]

8 hours ago, suomi said:

My hell, Mahamid Frauded Me, I looked up Fat Bastard to see if it was a real thing or something witty you came up with and also found out about Arrogant Bastard. Thank you, you made my day!

Arrogant Bastard Ale, not for the faint of heart, lol!

Along with that and Fat Bastard, there is also a wine called Arrogant Frog. So much arrogance, so many bastards!

[Irate Panda]

15 hours ago, suomi said:

LMAO because below some of the Sister Wives threads I'm seeing an ad that says "There is a really simple way to get rid of that awful musty smell in the house." With a photo of a big ol' nasty patch of brown/black mold crawling up the drywall. 

I thought it appropriate to post this in Janelle's thread. 

15 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

And I keep getting ads about foreclosures!

Better than my Glory Canned Cabbage ad LOL.  Today is custom homes and refinancing your mortgages. I need to start writing about Ferraris or something.  I’m surprised I don’t get prairie dog ads as much as I write about those

[Twopper]

17 hours ago, suomi said:

LMAO because below some of the Sister Wives threads I'm seeing an ad that says "There is a really simple way to get rid of that awful musty smell in the house." With a photo of a big ol' nasty patch of brown/black mold crawling up the drywall. 

I thought it appropriate to post this in Janelle's thread. 

Ha!! I got that one, too.  Several times on these forums (fora, fori?) I have mentioned being older than dirt.  Then I got a ad that said something about needing a lift and the woman looked like she needed a serious facelift.  I finally noticed the ad was from the American Cancer Society or Association.   Yeah, I could use a little work to the face so I don't look like a marionette, but I cannot recall any search I have done that would pull that ad up.   I am reading a book (a real book, a paperback) about a person with cancer, and I discussed it with my hubby.  I guess little phones have big ears.   Creepy. 

On 4/2/2019 at 4:03 PM, the-grey-lady said:

Some I don't know if I knew" should be Janelle's life motto.

I  don't even know if I know what that meant.   I guess it means she may have heard them, but she has forgotten she heard them and can't recall if she heard them.   I can't believe there are people who follow her.  I am still horrified that I know one.

[xwordfanatik]

10 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

Arrogant Bastard Ale, not for the faint of heart, lol!

Along with that and Fat Bastard, there is also a wine called Arrogant Frog. So much arrogance, so many bastards!

Well, Christine did say, "I didn't know men could be bastards."  Huh.  Amazing that Kootie's bastardness when Christine was pregnant, by "courting" Robyn then, didn't count.

Since this is Janelle's thread, I wonder what incredibly insightful post we can look forward to when she goes back to AZ?  

Edited April 4, 2019 by xwordfanatik
to mention Janelle

[Teafortwo]

13 hours ago, Twopper said:

I  don't even know if I know what that meant.   I guess it means she may have heard them, but she has forgotten she heard them and can't recall if she heard them.   I can't believe there are people who follow her.  I am still horrified that I know one.

My grandfather used to joke "I forget what I forgot to do." But he was 97 at the time.

[ginger90]

[xwordfanatik]

39 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

MFM, I am sure you can make another Strife post that will ring more of the truth! 

[MakingBacon]

Hmmm. I am guessing she didn’t see a soul because 1) everyone was out working a real job and/or 2) she didn’t go far enough down the trail to see people who were actually trying to get a work out. 

I notice she didn’t post what her normal indoor workout entails. 

I don’t see the point of the whole strive thing. Are people really paying for Jenelle’s health tips? 

[Teafortwo]

Janelle's house is listed on Redfin as "Pending". Christines' is still "delisted (temporarily off market)." That could mean it has an offer, or something else.
 

[Spisee Hotsos]

Both Christine’s and Janelle’s now show as “off market” on realtor.com. Hmmm. Guess the wet bar wasn’t such a great investment. 

Either that or they decided to move back and are all going to pile into two houses! 🤣 

Edited April 8, 2019 by Saje81

[MsTree]

5 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

Janelle's house is listed on Redfin as "Pending". Christines' is still "delisted (temporarily off market)." That could mean it has an offer, or something else.
 

Or her original offer fell through.

[laurakaye]

11 hours ago, Saje81 said:

Both Christine’s and Janelle’s now show as “off market” on realtor.com. Hmmm. Guess the wet bar wasn’t such a great investment. 

Either that or they decided to move back and are all going to pile into two houses! 🤣 

I would watch the HECK outta that.  

Janelle is "taking her work outside?"  What kind of work does she do that she can also do it while walking a trail?  I think her definition of "work" is slightly different than mine.  Or anyone else on these threads.  Or the population of Earth.

[deirdra]

2 hours ago, laurakaye said:

Janelle is "taking her work outside?"  What kind of work does she do that she can also do it while walking a trail?  

Striving?

[ginger90]

6 hours ago:

1 hour ago:

[Kohola3]

Janelle has been strivingk her way through Google again.

[Joan of Argh]

Omg... Yes Janelle and 5000 years ago they also thought the earth was flat. 🙄

In the 1700's they still thought blood letting was the cure for almost everything.

I'm not saying going outdoors isn't good for you but just because some nutjob in ancient history thought something was awesome doesn't make it so.

[Marshmallow Mollie]

Thanks for the time stamps, @ginger90 - hilarious!

I would argue being outside sunshine is therapeutic no matter where you get it, including sitting at your child’s soccer game. 

If I thought she gave any thought to what Strive is, I would say it’s antithetical to her core belief that small acts add up to big changes. You have to take it where you can get it, and being outside can be being in your backyard with your kids, or at the soccer field. It doesn’t have to be locating a nature trail, having the right shoes and water bottle, and hiking five miles. 

[laurakaye]

Ayurvedic wisdom suggests that we spend 3 hours per season adjusting to the weather according to Janelle.  Huh?  

I think she accidentally sploshed a glob of mayo on her iPad.

Shut up, Janelle.  I think the world at large understands that going outside is good.  It's only you that has now just discovered this secret.  We were all collectively hoping you wouldn't find out.

Edited April 8, 2019 by laurakaye

[Spisee Hotsos]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

6 hours ago:

This reminds me of when they were selecting options for their LV houses and Kody was nagging Meri about the expensive options in her house. Meri shouted: "I won't have a slider, Kody!" Like it was the worst thing in the world.

And...is that a dog in a rental? A FURNISHED rental? And Christine couldn't find one that would take her cat? Oh, please.

Edited April 8, 2019 by Saje81

[Joan of Argh]

14 minutes ago, Saje81 said:

And...is that a dog in a rental? A FURNISHED rental? And Christine couldn't find one that would take her cat? Oh, please.

I'm not sure but it might be fat Tony in a fuzzy robe

[laurakaye]

Considering that this show is about 16 - 20 months behind from what is really happening, is it safe to assume that all four wives are in their rentals right now and that something is being built at the Angels Singink property?  Is there any way to scope out that piece of land to see what, if anything, is being built?

[LilWharveyGal]

37 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

Ayurvedic wisdom suggests that we spend 3 hours per season adjusting to the weather according to Janelle.  Huh?  

And which nostril do I breathe out of the 4 times a year I go outside? Help me, Janelle, I'm so confused!

[Joan of Argh]

I loved how outspoken and blunt Gabe was on the latest episode.... Maddie was good too.

I wonder if he realizes that tabloids like Enquirer pay good money for inside info?

He could probably have a steady income and they keep their sources confidential.

Please Gabe or Maddie...... Go talk to the tabloids!!!   😂

I bet Maddie could make life hell for Meri if she unloaded everything she knows.

[Joan of Argh]

28 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

Considering that this show is about 16 - 20 months behind from what is really happening, is it safe to assume that all four wives are in their rentals right now and that something is being built at the Angels Singink property?  Is there any way to scope out that piece of land to see what, if anything, is being built?

I thought we were only about a year behind or not even that much because it was August in the moving episode so that's 9 months ago.

I could be wrong. *shrug*

[suomi]

They don't have the "build" money until the Vegas homes sell. And when they sell, they still won't have the build money if all four homes don't sell for the right amount. 

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, suomi said:

They don't have the "build" money until the Vegas homes sell. And when they sell, they still won't have the build money if all four homes don't sell for the right amount. 

I thought Kody said in this most recent episode that if they didn't move right then and sell the homes they would go broke in only a few months.  Well, a few months was several months ago and how many homes have they sold so far?  I wonder how their financial situation is right now.

[suomi]

IIRC one home sold, which probably brought in enough to stay current with mortgage and associated costs in Vegas and rental and living expenses in Flag. 

But ... it has taken/is going to take so long to sell all four homes that having to use the Vegas money for current living expenses is draining the build fund month by month, before they even get their griftng paws on it. 

Edited April 10, 2019 by suomi
gritting/grifting not the same

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, suomi said:

IIRC one home sold, which probably brought in enough to stay current with mortgage and associated costs in Vegas and rental and living expenses in Flag. 

But ... it has taken/is going to take so long to sell all four homes that having to use the Vegas money for current living expenses is draining the build fund month by month, before they even get their gritting paws on it. 

I read on one of these threads that two of the properties have been taken off the market.  I wonder if they're going to have to rent them.

[ginger90]

[Sandy W]

6 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Good idea Janelle.  Beats paying $9.00 for the same thing in a "Chi-town" bistro.

[laurakaye]

Avocado toast is gross and slimy.  There, I said it.  Come at me. 🙂

[xwordfanatik]

34 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

Avocado toast is gross and slimy.  There, I said it.  Come at me. 🙂

I won't.  I don't like avocados, and never will.  Same with olives and tomatoes.  The only "vegetable that is really a fruit" that I like is cucumbers.  

I'd love to see MFM's Strife take on this.

[Rabbit Hutch]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

At first I thought I made the wrong turn at Alburquerque and ended up in Meriduh's thread, then I realized I was indeed in the Strive thread.  Sheesh, don't do that to me, Ginger! 😁

[Marshmallow Mollie]

Attention Strive with Janelle: avocados are calorie-dense and one serving size is a quarter of an avocado. If you need to lose weight and can’t limit yourself to just one quarter of an avocado, you need to avoid them altogether.

[Teafortwo]

10 minutes ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

Attention Strive with Janelle: avocados are calorie-dense and one serving size is a quarter of an avocado. If you need to lose weight and can’t limit yourself to just one quarter of an avocado, you need to avoid them altogether.

No wonder I can't lose weight! I eat as much avocado as I can get my hands on (but in a restaurant, on toast, only once. I was horrified at the cost!) Also guacamole.

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

[deirdra]

LOL MFM!  The avocado looks like it got lost under a sofa cushion.

[Kyanight]

39 minutes ago, deirdra said:

LOL MFM!  The avocado looks like it got lost under a sofa cushion.

::::::::::HA HA HA HA HA HA HA::::::::::::   

[Meowwww]

3 hours ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

Hahahaha!   MFM killing it as usual.  💜

[NotinKansasanymore]

13 hours ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

Edited April 10, 2019 by NotinKansasanymore

[Joan of Argh]

56 minutes ago, NotinKansasanymore said:

So the take away I got from this is that Janelle doesn't get up till 10:30 in the morning? 

How does she find the time to strive?

This is the same woman who always talks about being so stressed and busy in her posts. Um, most of us have already been up for four hours, getting ready, commuting, and working for at least two hours by the time she wakes up.

Well to be fair to Janelle that post is a satire by our very own funny as heck poster MFM

If you look closely you'll see its titled "Strife" not "Strive" like Janelle's actual posts.

Edited April 10, 2019 by Joan of Argh
Spelling

[ciaoformeow]

9 hours ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

Attention Strive with Janelle: avocados are calorie-dense and one serving size is a quarter of an avocado. If you need to lose weight and can’t limit yourself to just one quarter of an avocado, you need to avoid them altogether.

I ate TWO avocados today 😭

But they all went ripe at the same time (even though I tried to prevent that) so I had no choice!! 

Edited April 10, 2019 by lilsadone