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60 Minutes I'll Never Get Back: Episodes We Could Have Done Without


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A recent episode of The Simpsons called "Days of Future Future". Really most of this past season was abysmal IMO, and I say that as someone who usually defends the later seasons. But as for this particular episode... At the beginning, Homer dies. For real. But it's okay because Professor Frink had him cloned. But the clone dies too and is replaced by another clone, and guess what happens to him. This continues for another 30 years until we get to the future in the title, where the main plot starts, yada yada yada. So present-day Homer is dead, a clone has taken his place and they have a 30-year supply of Homers. And nothing in the episode indicates this is non-canon like the "Treehouse of Horror" episodes.

 

 

Yet another reason why I haven't kept up with The Simpsons since the early 2000's.

 

Like many people, I fucking loathe the sixth season of Buffy, but one episode that really, really got under my skin was "Life Serial". That's when the three nerds that Buffy inexplicably cannot defeat (in spite of Joss Whedon being a feminist) decide to screw around the newly resurrected Buffy by messing with the space time continuum (or some such thing). That means Buffy randomly loses several minutes at a time, or will go through endless loops of the same routine (the candle-selling scene at the magic shop). Now, the episode is framed as a comedy, but I didn't laugh. Not once. It could be argued that is probably a failing on my part, that I don't have enough of a sense of humor or I'm too soft-hearted, but I don't enjoy seeing good characters go through torturous humiliation they don't deserve (this is why I never liked Meet the Parents). I didn't enjoy seeing Buffy, who was yanked from Heaven by her dumbass friends and is still stuck with fucking Dawn as a sister, be put through mental torment by three weaselly losers that, again, she is unable to defeat despite the fact that she's the fucking Slayer!! If anything, I felt like I had Genovese syndrome, just sitting idly by while poor Buffy nearly loses her mind. Is it any wonder why I'm not the biggest Whedon fan?

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The penultimate episode of Season Three of Without A Trace, "John Michaels." I watched this episode, hoping for the usual mix of mystery and character. I got crap old age make-up and a self-indulgent storyline for Jack, the lead. Anthony LaPaglia is a very good actor, don't get me wrong! This episode, in the same season as the overwrought "Malone v. Malone", just gave us more "star turn". 

 

Yes, some argue, that Jack was in a very bad, dark place- his wife was soon to be his ex-wife, his beloved daughters were moving away with their mom, his father was dying, his team was having various difficulties. One was facing open-heart surgery and one was dealing with the death of an estranged brother, whom the agent in question was unable to save. It was because of  those last two examples that I felt my time was wasted with Jack in that episode. Jack had inner turmoil since before the series started (his affair with Sam while married). It was meant to showcase the lead, but the writing did no one favors. It was an interesting try, but if you lift it out, I think you wouldn't miss much. It was like It's A Wonderful Life, only with a self-righteous character that decides to stay alive and be nicer, while not necessarily less self-righteous. But that may be just me.

Edited by Actionmage
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I feel like I'm painting a big ol' target on my backside by doing this, but I could have done without the Clarence Thomas/Anita Hill episode of Designing Women. Too strident and preachy.

You are soooooo not alone. I loved Designing Women, and couldn't wait for any excuse during an ep for Julia to give her "big speech", But that whole show was just lecture after lecture, and incredibly heavy handed.

 

And you know that they could make their points in ep's w/out pointing a neon sign at their agenda. They did a great job w/the 1 where the Sugarbakers are hired to "decorate" the guy who was dying of Aids funeral, after he was gone. To this day the "They Shoot Fat People" ep still gets me, and makes me cry.

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They had better mean the money being saved is going somewhere spectacular.

This. This. All day every day. It drives me crazy. Just show a freakin rerun then. Once again it's one of those things that when it hits syndication only becomes more glaring.

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The "Sylvia" two parter on Little House on the Prairie.  On a show that was rampant with tertiary characters, I think these were the worst.  Their sole purpose, as well as that of this plotline, was to have A Very Special Episode on rape and the dangers of mimes and masks.  I hated the entire thing, from start to finish, and I still don't think I've recovered.

 

I hate it when any show brings on a baby/new kid in order to boost the ratings and/or supplant an existing kid that's getting older.  Here's your sign, show - - it almost never works!  Cases in point:  Oliver on The Brady Bunch, Andrew on Family Ties, Nancy and Jenny on Little House on the Prairie.  I'm sure the list can go on and on. 

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I feel like I'm painting a big ol' target on my backside by doing this, but I could have done without the Clarence Thomas/Anita Hill episode of Designing Women. Too strident and preachy.

 

That target must be getting rather large because I'm in agreement.  Then again, the Thomasons' political views don't jive with mine but I let it slide due to the original cast's chemistry (once Charlene was gone, so was I). 

 

 

The penultimate episode of Season Three of Without A Trace, "John Michaels." I watched this episode, hoping for the usual mix of mystery and character. I got crap old age make-up and a self-indulgent storyline for Jack, the lead.

 

 

I happened to catch this episode a few months ago in syndication.  By the end of it I was saying, "What the hell????"!!  What was the damn point?  That none of it really happened or that his daughters WOULD end up as they did? 

 

My picks:

 

An episode of Charmed called, "Once In a Blue Moon".  From season 7, this episode featured the witchy sisters turning into CGI mad dogs and killing or maiming  whitelighters (good magical guardians) due to their having their periods during a full moon.  For anyone who watched this, it made no sense since there was a long magical history in the family and if something like this had happened before, someone would have made mention of it.  If not, it was an insult to women in general.

 

Another gem from that season was "The Bare Witch Project" in which witch sister Phoebe decides to do something for womens' rights by protesting a café which didn't allow public breastfeeding.  How?  She goes bareback riding (emphasis on the bare!) in front of the place as Lady Godiva!  Yeah, that always works.

 

Most of Season 8 deserves the thread title, but I do make an exception for the series finale.

 

The episode of Happy Days (which coincidentally, was an "almost backdoor pilot" due to the appearance of a character that got a short lived series) in which Chachi dreams he sold his soul to the devil.  It wasn't funny and was just plain unsavory.  Whenever the ep would turn up in reruns, I grabbed the remote.  Oddly enough, I feel the exact same way about a similar themed episode of Laverne & Shirley, in which the two find themselves in Heaven & Hell.  The girls come into money due to a glitch and Shirley wants to return it, while Laverne wants to keep it.  Shirley dreams they all go to Heaven because they gave the money back, while Laverne dreams everyone went to Hell for keeping it.   Hilarity did NOT ensue.

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Some would say the whole series, but the episode of Lost that solves the question everyone was asking.... "Where did Jack get his tattoos?" I think it was called 'Stranger In a Strange Land'.

For me it wasn't just the flashbacks with Jack but I believe that's the episode where the other's have their "funeral'. Which was interesting, except none of the beliefs were explained or brought up again.

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I had never heard of Felicia Day before so I had no opinion of her positive or negative.  I didn't mind her when she first appeared on Eureka.  She seemed fine as a guest star.  But then it felt like her presence seemed to cannibalize the show.  She became way too special for me.  I can't watch any of her episodes now.

 

I don't like the Jeri Ryan episodes of Leverage.  For me, she threw off the chemistry of the  group.  I was so happy when Gina Bellman came back.

 

I can't re-watch the  Bones episode where Vince Nigel-Murray gets killed.  He was my favorite squintern.  And I was sooo bummed.  I wish they had killed Daisy instead as she was my least favorite.

 

I don't really like clip shows, but I loved the 'Paradigms of Human Memory' episode of Community.  It was a clip show of things that never actually happened on the show.  I remember thinking to myself...'wait... I don't remember that...." until I realized it was new footage packaged like a clip show.  Now it is one of my favorite epsiodes.

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The live-action episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force was wretched. The script was bad, the pacing was off, they guy playing Frylock was practically asleep, and rather than casting Dana Snyder as the character that he normally plays, they cast H. Jon Benjamin who gave a high-school quality performance. The only thing good about the whole episode was the fan who had won the contest to appear as Carl.

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The Buffy episode Amends, when Angel tries to kill himself but is saved by magical snow. Ugh.

The Angel episode Double or Nothing. Terrible. When they play "Gangsta's Paradise" during Gunns flashback? Hilariously bad, but not hilarious enough to sit through again.

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Glee - Mash Off (well, just after the dodgeball game anyway) because, well, a straight white male outing a latina girl will never look good or be justified (despite reactions after that episode anyway).

I Kissed A Girl - The follow up episode, where said straight white dude leads a sing-a-long so that he may properly express how important it is for the gay latina girl to be out and accepting of herself because otherwise, she might just die. Blegh. Also, this episode had the honour of all the Glee girls singing 'I Kissed A Girl' by Katy bloody Perry as a lesbian anthem. Because nothing says lesbian pride like an ode to bi-curiousness (in place of a much nicer lesbian-esque song, titled 'I kissed a girl' by Jill Sobule).

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House of Cards episode where Frank goes to his alma mater and gets really drunk with his friends. Just an excuse for Kevin Spacey to sing old songs. So pointless, but I watched the whole thing because I was sure some plot point hinged on it. (HoC is so tightly plotted, that even throwaway scenes can be important later. This time? Not really.

Edited by Archery
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You are soooooo not alone. I loved Designing Women, and couldn't wait for any excuse during an ep for Julia to give her "big speech", But that whole show was just lecture after lecture, and incredibly heavy handed.

 

And you know that they could make their points in ep's w/out pointing a neon sign at their agenda. They did a great job w/the 1 where the Sugarbakers are hired to "decorate" the guy who was dying of Aids funeral, after he was gone. To this day the "They Shoot Fat People" ep still gets me, and makes me cry.

Oh geez, me too. Both those episodes in my DW top ten, possibly top five.

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I had never heard of Felicia Day before so I had no opinion of her positive or negative.  I didn't mind her when she first appeared on Eureka.  She seemed fine as a guest star.  But then it felt like her presence seemed to cannibalize the show.  She became way too special for me.  I can't watch any of her episodes now.

 

Ugh. There was quite the tête-à-tête over at the old place between people who thought FD was The Best Evar and those of us who understood that she was being shoehorned in to plots where she shouldn't be. TPTBs basically just foisted Felica Day Character into the cast rather than creating a character played by Felicia Day.

 

It's really a shame because I've seen some of her you tube channel, and she's funny and charismatic. Just terribly integrated into the show. 

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An episode that I simply could have done without was from the late Boardwalk Empire:  Jimmy having sex with his mother, Gillian, will go down for me as one of those episodes that will never, EVER be erased from my subconscious no matter how much brain bleach I may have.

 

I always picked up an incestuous vibe between the two and would have simply preferred that the writers allowed the characters' dialogue and body language to convey that message.  I didn't need to see a flashback showing us that they actually did the deed.  It was beyond disgusting.  I could never look at either character as the same again, no matter how sympathetic the writers made their back stories.  

 

On the same note, Dallas 2.0's  threesome scene among John Ross, PammyBecca and Emma of the Corn will go down as an episode  in infamy.  I won't even touch on the brothel that catered to bizarre sexual fetishes, i.e. "furries," which I had never even heard of until then.  This signaled to me that Cidre & Co. were willing to scrape the absolute bottom of the gutter for shock & awe storytelling that only trashed what could have been a great revival of the original series.  It was all downhill for me after that.  It's no wonder they weren't renewed for another season.

 

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House of Cards episode where Frank goes to his alma mater and gets really drunk with his friends. Just an excuse for Kevin Spacey to sing old songs. So pointless, but I watched the whole thing because I was sure some plot point hinged on it. (HoC is so tightly plotted, that even throwaway scenes can be important later. This time? Not really.

Ah, yes. It was after this episode (or during it) that I gave up on the show altogether.

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Star Trek The Next Generation: Sub Rosa. I've never even watched the complete episode. I hated it so much that I turned it off before I was halfway through it. And I tried again later, but I still hated it and gave up after 5 or 10 minutes.

I suspect whoever was writing that episode just copied a summary of Anne Rice's The Witching Hour and did a find/replace to plug in the names of Star Trek characters.

 

Speaking of Supernatural, the S8 episode Friends With Benefits, which featured a male witch and his familiar.  The familiar spent part of the episode as a doberman pinscher, and part of the episode as an African-American woman who wore a dog collar, called the witch "master", couldn't disobey his orders and serviced him sexually.  Who wrote this episode, a member of Stormfront?

"Man's Best Friend with Benefits." Ugh. If I were a CW network executive, after watching that I'd have made firing the writers responsible a stipulation for series renewal.

Edited by Bruinsfan
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Not necessarily an episode as much as a segment of one.

 

I just caught an episode of Fantasy Island in which one of the clients involved a brother and sister whose fantasy was to solve their adoptive father's murder, which occurred when they were children (technically he was their uncle, who took them in after their parents died when they were too young to remember).    They eventually find out the truth (it was an accident), and are satisfied.  However, Mr. Roarke steps in and tells the two that there was one last thing - that the two of them were orphaned during a shipwreck, but they were not really brother and sister, but the uncle raised them both as such anyway.    The two then suddenly realize they are in love with one another and decide to .....ugggh! 

 

That really spoiled what could have been a great storyline.  Not only do you have the potential to show how despite not being related by blood, love and family is still the most important factor.  It would have been doubled by the fact that despite [one of them] not being related to the uncle, there's the fact that a carefree bachelor was willing to offer a home and paternal love for two children who needed it.  Then the psychotic writer goes and ruins it!  I can't believe they went there and it actually aired in primetime back in '81.

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Oh, let's see... so many...

 

The episode of Quantum Leap where Sam leaped into a chimp.

 

The episode of Fringe where Walter took brain serum meant for a chimp.  (Hell, I just hate anything to do with monkeys, period.)  Which may have been the same one where Olivia got into a hideous, shapeless evening gown while pointlessly going undercover at a fancy dress ball.  (Anna Torv, love ya honey but I'm not sure sleeveless was a great choice for you.)

 

The episode of Star Trek Voyager where they evolve into lizards.  (I honestly would have preferred monkeys.)

 

The episode of The Rockford Files where Jim's pity date is raped by an entire biker gang.  (Might have made an okay Very Special Episode if only the writers hadn't slipped in a completely inappropriate comic interlude in the middle of it - and oh, actually came up with a plot)

 

I just recently saw an episode of Mission: Impossible which featured a "good" neo-Nazi who wanted to rebuild the Nazi Party but leave all the horrible anti-semitism and Holocaust stuff out of it.  First of all, anti-semitism was at the very core of Nazi-ism... and second, show me a neo-Nazi who isn't a Holocaust denier.  (This unbelievable horseshit will self-destruct in five seconds...)

 

The fake series finale of Magnum P.I. - the one where Magnum dies and walks into Heaven.  OY!

 

And, um, pretty much every episode of Sleepy Hollow this season... alas.  So young, so full of promise...

Edited by Jipijapa
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Voyager's lizard episode didn't bug nearly as much as Fair Haven did. And not only did TIIC air this horrid episode of the Captain wasting energy by keeping a hologram running to get her rocks off, they air a follow up SIX WEEKS LATER.

I heard a rumor that Kate Mulgrew asked if someone on the writing staff was high upon receiving the script. I honestly can't blame her.

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The fake series finale of Magnum P.I. - the one where Magnum dies and walks into Heaven.  OY!

to be honest, I think that it was supposed to be the series finale but then they convince Selleck to come back for another season.  

 

I'm pretty much on board with the "John Michaels" episode of Without a Trace.  Like Anthony La'Plaglia needed another "give me an Emmy" episode besides "Malone vs. Malone." Although in response to Actionmage's post, I don't think Danny's brother died, I think he almost OD'ed and went back to jail.  I think, its been a while.  Without a Trace had some much that they could have done with all of the characters if they'd been able to tear the writers away from the Jack/Emmy grab.  Or Sammantha.  Speaking of which, the episode where suddenly Sammantha is old friends with a nurse that calls her up to find out the identity of an amnesiac patient.  Since when is Sam friends with anyone outside the job let alone this frumpy, never before seen nurse?

 

I'm a diehard Supernatural fan but "Bloodlines" and "Man's Best Friend with Benefits" are definitely episodes we could have done without.  Either of the episodes could have worked with some changes, the actress that played the familiar is lovely and intelligent but there were so many thing wrong there.  Bloodlines was just a huge misstep to try to affiliate it with the Supernatural world.   

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BSG's Maelstrom is one of my favorite episodes of the series but at the same time I wish it never happened because it locked them into poorly thought out finale.   It was also one of the episodes that emphasized Kara 'had a destiny'.  If they had no real idea where to go with that, they shouldn't have crafted entire episodes around the idea.  Same things with some of the episodes that drove the point that the cylons had a plan hard when clearly in retrospect they didn't.  Still, really good series.  I just wish I understood how they found Earth twice and I pretend the last hour or so didn't happen.

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Going way back to December, but it's where the Oldest Unread Post thing took me, so:

I won't even touch on the brothel that catered to bizarre sexual fetishes, i.e. "furries," which I had never even heard of until then.  This signaled to me that Cidre & Co. were willing to scrape the absolute bottom of the gutter for shock & awe storytelling that only trashed what could have been a great revival of the original series.  It was all downhill for me after that.  It's no wonder they weren't renewed for another season.

How is being a furry any more depraved than, for example, the oft-repeated TV trope of a wife wearing lingerie to get her husband in the mood? It's the same exact thing, the only difference is the choice of clothing.

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IMHO, dressing up as a different species for sexual excitement is a much more advanced form of role-playing than having a woman or man put on sexy underwear. I don't know that I'd use the word "depraved," but the whole "furry" thing takes it to a whole other level.

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I'd say it's a similar, if much rarer, thing to enjoying dressing up in the regalia of one's favorite sports team. (I once combined the two, wearing a bear mascot outfit for one of the Boston Bruins' away games. Hey, it cracked Ray Bourque up during the pre-game skate...)

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If consenting adults aren't breaking the law, then they're allowed to play out whatever fantasies and indulge in fetishes as they please in private and shouldn't be disparaged for it. 

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I don't know exactly how to explain it, but there was one fourth-season episode of Hart to Hart that I have only seen once from the DVD, and might never come back to. It was named "Hartstruck," and it aired April 12, 1983. To me, that one was an ordeal to get through, considering that many others of that series were very entertaining to me. 

  • Love 1
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Star Trek The Next Generation: Sub Rosa. I've never even watched the complete episode. I hated it so much that I turned it off before I was halfway through it. And I tried again later, but I still hated it and gave up after 5 or 10 minutes.

I suspect whoever was writing that episode just copied a summary of Anne Rice's The Witching Hour and did a find/replace to plug in the names of Star Trek characters.

 

This. I remember I was reading The Witching Hour at the time this episode came out, so when the episode aired, I was like 'this is such a rip off of the book." The second hand embarrassment over the "sexy-times" didn't help either. It was just bad and cheesy and wrong. The book, however, did it much, much better. On the show, it was like a grandfather having sex with their granddaughter or something. Ew.

 

 

And, um, pretty much every episode of Sleepy Hollow this season... alas.  So young, so full of promise...

 

Not every episode of season 2...Just most of them. There are a few in the season that are really good, and episode 17 and 18 were awesome - saving grace of the season - and show. But if one episode from season 2 and the entire series were to be picked. It was Deliverance. Dear god, that was such a horrible episode that it actually ignited the major backlash against the show (fans and media alike), and spawned the network to start making major changes (good changes). it was actually pretty unprecedented. Never seen anything like it before.

 

 

Other lousy episodes: ST:TNG - the one where Wesley is on that planet with the creepy blond people running around in silver swimsuits, and he steps on the lawn and gets sentenced to death (Justice). Anything with Tasha Yar (I'm sorry) including the The Oil Slick episode (Skin of Evil). Data and the masks (Masks).

 

The X-Files: The one with Mulder in the virtual reality game (Kill Switch). Another one called 3 (the episode was called 3), where Mulder hooks up with Duchovny real life girlfriend.

 

Outlander: The episode with the long extended scene of Jamie Fraser getting flogged so badly that his back was like ground beef. I could barely watch that scene, and gave up the show after this. It is horrific reality, but that type of gratuitious gore I just can't watch it and wonder how anyone could survive it without dying of shock or dying of a major infection. I stopped watching the show after that.

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Not every episode of season 2...Just most of them. There are a few in the season that are really good, and episode 17 and 18 were awesome - saving grace of the season - and show. But if one episode from season 2 and the entire series were to be picked. It was Deliverance. Dear god, that was such a horrible episode that it actually ignited the major backlash against the show (fans and media alike), and spawned the network to start making major changes (good changes). it was actually pretty unprecedented. Never seen anything like it before.

 

While I do think Deliverance was pretty bad, I actually think Pittura Infamante was worse, mainly because the premise was so full of possibilties and the execution was so . . . Katrina.

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HalyconDays & prosperina65 - Come on, picking the worst ep of SH S2 is like deciding which is worse - lice or scabies.

 

Now, now DeLurker. There were some good ones - 17 and 18 especially. Pittura Infamante would be the second worst for sure.

 

At least the lice and scabies are now dead and gone, right? (sorry JN - that was kinda mean)

 

Castle: The episode where they go to Vegas, and Castle, Ryan Esposito dress up in Elvis sequined jumpsuits. Yeah....no.

 

Any episode of Friends revolving around Rachel's pregnancy.

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Any episode for which the following line could be used "Tonight, on a very special ______" was usually the worst episode of any show's entire run.  Of course, then there were shows which were nothing but very special episodes.

That's partly why I could never stand The Facts of Life, and have lately judged it to be one of the worst shows ever made. 

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An early Frasier episode, Frasier learns the painting he bought was a forgery and he's naturally upset about it. But no one else seems to think its a crime. Not his cop father and definitely not the gallery that sold him the painting. Except it is a crime. Its weird that every seems to think he's making a big deal out of nothing. The gallery owner even laughs in his face.

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I saw that MacGyver episode called "Twenty Questions" from the sixth season (1990-91; airdate Oct. 8, 1990), and I dislike admitting it, but I agree with those who said it was one of the worst episodes ever there was of MacGyver, for reasons unknown. 

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6 hours ago, nosleepforme said:

I like every episode of Parks and Recreation except for the Johnny Karate episode in the final season. That was a waste of time.

 

100% agreed.  I hated that one, which does seem to be a love-it-or-hate-it episode, at least among the people I know.

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Family Ties "Band on the Run". Alex takes over Jennifer's band and has them dress up as the Andrews Sisters whilst they endlessly sing 'Mr. Sandman' at whistlestops all over the Midwest (yes, they take the train instead of planes, buses or cars). It may have been a funny scene in one of the 'retrospective' episodes to have had Jennifer recall this and put Alex down for it in a single one-line quip but for her and the rest of the band to spend almost the entire episode doing nothing more but give Alex resentful glares whilst he made them what they weren't (and made Colonel Tom Parker seem charitable to Elvis) was absolutely cringeworthy and took down both Alex's and Jennifer's characters a bit. Oh, and their 'real' then-contemporary hairband number wasn't all that memorable or clever even back then.

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10 hours ago, nosleepforme said:

On Buffy, I could have done without Beer Bad. It's not like it's a bad episode, the emotional stuff is on point, but the COTW with Buffy and other college kids turning into neanderthals was really bad.

I'm apparently one of the few people who really like Beer Bad, but I could have done without Ted or Anne, 2 episodes that I don't like. I wouldn't miss Inca Mummy Girl either.

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-Any musical episode of a show that's not, in itself, a musical

-The entire 8th season of That '70s Show - never have I felt such hostility from a writing staff

-Richard's and David's final appearances on Friends - obviously done to play up the drama when there was no need to go there, David's especially was handled so disrespectfully (and I preferred him to Mike)

-Also on Friends, their "what if?" episodes, which I just found to be a waste of episodes

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20 minutes ago, Winter Rose said:

-Any musical episode of a show that's not, in itself, a musical

I'll have to go with Buffy again & disagree with you. Once More With Feeling is brilliant.

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Quote

Starsky vs. Hutch, a 4th season episode where they literally come to blows over a woman, who's just using both of them.

Yes.  I'll go one further and say the entire 4th season was awful except the Targets without a Badge three parter.  Other than that the whole season is full of tension and general unpleasantness.  It's clear that the actors did not want to be there anymore and resented the whole thing.

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7 hours ago, nosleepforme said:

 

But let's be honest here, not every show can pull off a musical. As mentioned, the Grey's musical was pretty bad, the few scenes I've seen from the 7th Heaven musical were pretty bad too. Generally, I think non-musical shows with quirky humor and/or fantasy elements are better at pulling off musicals than serious dramas.

Chicago Hope did one of the best.  But that could be because the actors lip synced to the original recordings. 

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