S10.E12: Jill's Having A....

[Celia Rubenstein]

 

If Derick had taken off work to go tell him mom, we'd probably all be criticizing that too.

 

But attending every single Duggar family gathering is Derrick's job, so he was actually at work when he was at the party.  

 

He would have been missing work if he had gone to tell his mom in person! 

[Emme]

Oh that's what she said. I didn't catch what the girl name they picked out.

 

Actually, the name was Isela (I had the cc on the TV). It's pronounced IS-SAIL-UH. It's a Hebrew name (and, I believe a variation of Elishiva (Elisabeth)). It means "Devoted to G-d"

 

By the way, I kind of wanted to punch Meechelle in the face every time she spoke about Cathy. Oh, and another thing, I only have FOUR blessings, but I can certainly remember finding out the gender of each one. She has so many fucking kids that she doesn't know/remember anything about.

[Mariva]

I don't think it's at all bad that they didn't go tell Cathy in person. Gender reveals are still a pretty new thing.  Most long-distance relatives probably hear it via phone call.  It's part of life that the family that is closer geographically gets to be a part of these minor celebrations more than far-away ones.  If Derick had taken off work to go tell him mom, we'd probably all be criticizing that too.

 

I think they bought pink and blue decorations because most gender reveals I've been to have been decorated in both colors. Then the gender is actually revealed later.  I don't know why they bought the pink candy though.

 

I was happy to see Jill with her buddies. It was sweet.

Maybe because they didn't want to make a second trip to the store once they found out the sex? Ditto for Dan. It looked to me like he bought the flowers at the airport then headed straight to the hospital so he could surprise his mom the second Derick texted him with the news. How is that being wasteful? First off, it's his (or TLC's) money to spend. Second, just take out pink "it's a girl" balloon, and now Cathy can have TWO beautiful sets of flowers in her room. A pretty sweet deal if you ask me!  ;-) I don't understand why there's such a debate about this...? (wanted to add that I'm not calling you out specifically, but the general comments around here)

 

Frankly, I thought Jill and Derick's "party" seemed all rather last-minute and rushed which makes me wonder if the party wasn't their idea in the first place. From what her family has said, Jill is not one for surprises. I feel like Jill would been just as fine gathering her family around to tell them the news straight-out (like how she announced her pregnancy) instead of having to make them wait and play the silly piñata game. I really get the sense that the whole party and reveal was drummed up by TLC to make it more interesting for the show. That explains why everyone was just standing around awkwardly instead of acting like what a normal, close family should act like when they're excited for one of their sisters or daughters.

 

While I think it's really very nice that Jill still spends significant time with her "buddies" [Jessa certainly doesn't seem to be doing it with her group] I'm not sure it's a conscious decision on her part. I have to wonder whether she'd still being doing this if she had "real" friends - her own age. Friends who were not members of her family. Other married or even single girlfriends she could get together with for lunch, shopping, crafting parties - anything. 

I don't think there's anything wrong if Jill's best friends happened to include her sisters.  In the past few weeks alone there's been plenty of photos of Jill out with Jana and Jinger or having lunch with her midwife friends . Notice how I left out Jessa's name? For some reason those two don't seem to hang out as much, even though you'd think it'd be the opposite now that both are married and out of the house. I haven't seen much evidence that Jessa has her own separate, blooming social life either. She and Ben still go over to the TTH all the time, the only difference is that Jessa doesn't spend time with her siblings outside the Duggar compound as much as Jill does with her buddies. 

Edited April 9, 2015 by Mariva

[Joe Jitsu913]

Maybe because they didn't want to make a second trip to the store once they found out the sex? Ditto for Dan. It looked to me like he bought the flowers at the airport then headed straight to the hospital so he could surprise his mom the second Derick texted him with the news. How is that being wasteful? First off, it's his (or TLC's) money to spend. Second, just take out pink "it's a girl" balloon, and now Cathy can have TWO beautiful sets of flowers in her room. A pretty sweet deal if you ask me! ;-) I don't understand why there's such a debate about this...? (wanted to add that I'm not calling you out specifically, but the general comments around here)

Frankly, I thought Jill and Derick's "party" seemed all rather last-minute and rushed which makes me wonder if the party wasn't their idea in the first place. From what her family has said, Jill is not one for surprises. I feel like Jill would been just as fine gathering her family around to tell them the news straight-out (like how she announced her pregnancy) instead of having to make them wait and play the silly piñata game. I really get the sense that the whole party and reveal was drummed up by TLC to make it more interesting for the show. That explains why everyone was just standing around awkwardly instead of acting like what a normal, close family should act like when they're excited for one of their sisters or daughters.

I don't think there's anything wrong if Jill's best friends happened to include her sisters. In the past few weeks alone there's been plenty of photos of Jill out with Jana and Jinger or having lunch with her midwife friends . Notice how I left out Jessa's name? For some reason those two don't seem to hang out as much, even though you'd think it'd be the opposite now that both are married and out of the house. I haven't seen much evidence that Jessa has her own separate, blooming social life either. She and Ben still go over to the TTH all the time, the only difference is that Jessa doesn't spend time with her siblings outside the Duggar compound as much as Jill does with her buddies.

I think it's sad that Jill or any of the Duggars aren't allowed to form meaningful relationships with non-fundie people. They're basically forced/brainwashed into being friends with other with no opportunity to befriend anyone who isn't approved by Jim Slob.

[EarlGreyTea]

I guess it's because I've only watched the show very sporadically before the last few seasons, but I thought Michelle was very gracious toward Cathy in this episode - acting cheerful, calling her Grandma. I liked also how she made sure everyone at the rehearsal dinner for Jill's wedding knew it was a Dillard event and asked everyone to pray for Cathy.

 

Even if she was being fake, Cathy doesn't know her well enough to realize it.

Edited April 9, 2015 by EarlGreyTea

[GEML]

It's also common with even conservative Baptist/independent churches in the DC area to do mothers mornings out and the MOPS in my area often have childcare so the mothers can visit while the children are occupied in the church facilities (which are often very nice.). This provided the socialization for young children who will often be homeschooled; a break for mothers, community for church followers, and small donations collected to keep the children's program going since they don't have a preschool the way many other churches do. Josh and Anna would be an ideal fit for this type of set-up.

[Absolom]

Some explanation for how the episode  was likely filmed may help.  The "one day" episodes are rarely filmed in one day.  The shopping was probably filmed one day.  The ultrasound another and the party on yet the third day.  The "rushed" party is a TLC device to add drama.  They may have been able to combine the shopping and the ultrasound on one long day.  Due to scheduling they apparently needed to film shopping before the ultrasound and didn't realize the viewers would be logical and go why not wait and only buy the color candy you need?  

[Mariva]

Some explanation for how the episode  was likely filmed may help.  The "one day" episodes are rarely filmed in one day.  The shopping was probably filmed one day.  The ultrasound another and the party on yet the third day.  The "rushed" party is a TLC device to add drama.  They may have been able to combine the shopping and the ultrasound on one long day.  Due to scheduling they apparently needed to film shopping before the ultrasound and didn't realize the viewers would be logical and go why not wait and only buy the color candy you need?  

"Likely"? Wow, I'm amazed Jill managed to keep the same ratty hair for multiple days then! ;-)

 

On a more serious note, unless you have some concrete evidence to back up your claims, I find what you're saying hard to believe. Based on what I know, I'm VERY certain the shopping, ultrasound and party all happened on the same day. What TLC didn't mention during the episode was that the day before Derick and Jill had the ultrasound, they were in Oklahoma to attend the funeral of one of Derick's relatives who had passed away earlier that week. Something to consider for those who've been criticizing Derick for not flying to Omaha to see his mom, is that maybe he wasn't able to or didn't want to take any more time off work as he had already used up a few days to go to the funeral.

[GEML]

Well, you seem to be in the "know."

But it does seem odd that this episode was so efficiently shot, given that many of them take more than one day to do. I'm not sure that Absolom was "claiming" anything other than offering what is a pretty reasonable explanation for what is possible, but maybe you know otherwise.

[StaceyNotStacie]

I noticed that Jill mentioned during Tuesday's episodes that at the time of her ultrasound, she was as many weeks as Michelle was when Josie was born.  I can't help but wonder how many times Michelle had said that to Jill at that point in her pregnancy.  I could imagine Michelle constantly "reminding" Jill of Josie and Jubilee when Jill reached those weeks of pregnancy.

[MarysWetBar]

"Likely"? Wow, I'm amazed Jill managed to keep the same ratty hair for multiple days then! ;-)

On a more serious note, unless you have some concrete evidence to back up your claims, I find what you're saying hard to believe. Based on what I know, I'm VERY certain the shopping, ultrasound and party all happened on the same day. What TLC didn't mention during the episode was that the day before Derick and Jill had the ultrasound, they were in Oklahoma to attend the funeral of one of Derick's relatives who had passed away earlier that week. Something to consider for those who've been criticizing Derick for not flying to Omaha to see his mom, is that maybe he wasn't able to or didn't want to take any more time off work as he had already used up a few days to go to the funeral.

Isn't bereavement leave a seperate thing down there? Also glad Jilly could make it to a funeral for someone she likely hasn't ever met. I guess this will just have to be my hill to die on, unfortunately. In my opinion they showed me who they are in that episode. Edited April 10, 2015 by MarysWetBar

[Mrsjumbo]

About the pink/blue decor- I assumed they bought 2 sets of candy, flowers etc for the suspense of the viewing audience. The family never saw that stuff so it wasn't for them. We were supposed to be gripping the edge of our seat, wondering which color will it be? However due to TV show delays we already knew, so it came across as lame.

[Celia Rubenstein]

I think it would have came across as lame even if we hadn't known.
 
I guess I just find it hard to get excited about what gender the baby is going to be when you know Jill is going to be shooting them out rapid fire for years to come.  
 

 

[Sew Sumi]

They still could have had the ultrasound and shopping one day and the party the next day. I am not buying the single-day shoot theory; there was too much to coordinate, and no time for retakes (which are frequently done). Don't forget the simultaneous crew in Omaha shadowing Dan and Cathy. Who knows how long it took to film his scenes, but I imagine that he was in and out of Omaha on the same (party) day. 

[MLE]

I agree with everyone that it was strange the bought the blueAND pink baby reveal stuff and was wondering about it at first while watching, too.

But I think there's a very simple answer: it was so no one at the party store could leak the sex of the sex of the baby.

Edited April 10, 2015 by MLE

[graefin]

I just saw the episode. Jill has got to be, like, the most inarticulate Duggar ever. I, like, cringe when I hear her speak. Some of her younger siblings sound less like a 12-year-old than she does. It's crazy. (Frankly, I don't think Derick is much better despite not having been deprived of a normal education.)

[Spencer Hastings]

I just saw the episode. Jill has got to be, like, the most inarticulate Duggar ever. I, like, cringe when I hear her speak. Some of her younger siblings sound less like a 12-year-old than she does. It's crazy. (Frankly, I don't think Derick is much better despite not having been deprived of a normal education.)

I can't fault her on that one. When I worked in PR, my boss had me stop fielding calls because clients thought she was breaking child labor laws. :-/

[graefin]

I can't fault her on that one. When I worked in PR, my boss had me stop fielding calls because clients thought she was breaking child labor laws. :-/

I'm not talking about her voice. I'm talking about her diction and (lack of) vocabulary.

[msblossom]

Jill's "like" and "totally" do grate. And I think Derick's overuse of "surreal" is getting annoying too. I think he used it 2 or 3x in this episode.

[JoanArc]

It's too bad the Duggars don't have a personal airline, so they could fly back and forth to Cathy's bedside to film. Oh, wait...

[gunderda]

I think Cathy was much happier seeing one of her sons and hearing the news from him than having to hear it in an empty hospital room, alone, via skype. 

[gunderda]

I get why he bought both gender stuff - he wanted to be prepared.  It's sometimes not easy to go buy flowers on the spot, especially if you aren't from that area. He wanted to be able to tell his mom the moment he heard.  If he would have waited he would have probably spent 1-2 hours getting the stuff prepared. 

[Itsnotreality]

Okay, I have a longstanding query regarding diction, vocab etc. SpencerHastings, msblossom, graefin, I'll be in the "annoying" thread.

Edited: I see it's "get on your nerves thread". Oh they do.

Edited April 10, 2015 by Itsnotreality

[Wellfleet]

I just saw the episode. Jill has got to be, like, the most inarticulate Duggar ever. I, like, cringe when I hear her speak. Some of her younger siblings sound less like a 12-year-old than she does. It's crazy. (Frankly, I don't think Derick is much better despite not having been deprived of a normal education.)

 

Completely agree. Jill is definitely the most inarticulate Duggar, and she's rapidly bringing Derick down to her level. Not that he's falling all that far. For someone with a bachelor's degree he doesn't speak very well at all. He doesn't need to be as eloquent as say, Winston Churchill, and I understand there might still be some TV-nervousness there. But come on! It's been a year and a half, and he must know what he's going to be asked in THs. Yet every time, it seems as though it's really a struggle for him to string an articulate reply together.

Edited April 10, 2015 by Wellfleet

[Lukeysboat]

I didn't understand either! I was hoping it was editing and they picked up pink candy but didn't really buy it. But then I saw the 2 bow-kays (as they like to say) of flowers. SMH

What is the problem with the pronunciation of bouquet?

Edited April 10, 2015 by Lukeysboat

[floridamom]

I think that , in part, derickdillard's hesitation to string a whole sentence together stems from his fear and expectation that JillyMuffinMama will only interrupt him midstream....again...

[floridamom]

"Like, totally, surreal,...this is crazy! Jill,, please learn some new words.

I think that gender reveal stuff for Jilly was purchased at a Dollar Store. The candy looked like the cheap kind we used to find in our trick-or-treat bags and would re-wrap and give right back out again.

[GEML]

That really was the cheapest looking party I've seen the Duggars throw, and I'm counting both daughters' weddings!

[msblossom]

I thought the ?pinata and candy looked cheap. I would have done something simple, probably hosted a brunch and do the reveal with creme filled donuts bc we all know how much the Duggars like their donuts!!

[Absolom]

msblossom, the brunch idea sounds so much classier than what TLC came up for the Dillards to do.  

[Micks Picks]

I don't think there is a way to make these gender reveals classy.

[abseedee]

I don't think there is a way to make these gender reveals classy.

i agree.  i admit i have never been to a gender reveal but i cannot picture one being elegant or stylish.

[Wellfleet]

Actually, the name was Isela (I had the cc on the TV). It's pronounced IS-SAIL-UH. It's a Hebrew name (and, I believe a variation of Elishiva (Elisabeth)). It means "Devoted to G-d"

 

By the way, I kind of wanted to punch Meechelle in the face every time she spoke about Cathy. Oh, and another thing, I only have FOUR blessings, but I can certainly remember finding out the gender of each one. She has so many fucking kids that she doesn't know/remember anything about.

 

I wonder what "Jill" and "Derick" mean?

[pinguina]

I noticed that Jill has a new adjective to add to her vocabulary - CRAZY.   She used it several times and passed it on to her "buddies".

Question - She is married now and she is still in charge of a buddy group?

 I thought that according to their belief system, her husband is supposed to be the be all and end all of her existence.  Although, I did like that Derrick seems not to mind too much the time that her brothers and sisters (not buddies) spend with them.Her buddy group says the new baby will be part of their group?  Really?

[allonsyalice]

I wonder what "Jill" and "Derick" mean?

I will take this one to the prayer closet, because you have piqued my interest as well

[jcbrown]

<pedant> It's a sex reveal, not a gender reveal. They are revealing the biological sex of the fetus. Its gender is a social construct and they really nave no way of determining that from an ultrasound. </pedant> Sorry, but this bugs me.

[DangerousMinds]

I just saw the episode. Jill has got to be, like, the most inarticulate Duggar ever. I, like, cringe when I hear her speak. Some of her younger siblings sound less like a 12-year-old than she does. It's crazy. (Frankly, I don't think Derick is much better despite not having been deprived of a normal education.)

Even worse, Jill has been "teaching" the younger ones. No hope.

[OpieTaylor]

Question - She is married now and she is still in charge of a buddy group?

I thought that according to their belief system, her husband is supposed to be the be all and end all of her existence.

 

Yeah, it seems like MEchelle, JB, and Gothard, never really thought it all the way through - that all these kids would grow up and become adults, with their own equal, adult rights

[Chai]

I noticed that Jill mentioned during Tuesday's episodes that at the time of her ultrasound, she was as many weeks as Michelle was when Josie was born.  I can't help but wonder how many times Michelle had said that to Jill at that point in her pregnancy.  I could imagine Michelle constantly "reminding" Jill of Josie and Jubilee when Jill reached those weeks of pregnancy.

Now that's a piece of motherly advice every woman wants to hear during her first pregnancy. Something else to worry about!

[Marigold]

I think Josie's birth deeply upset Jill and that "25 weeks" number was stuck in her head. Seeing a 25 weeker born really rattles you,especially since Jill was the one who was checking Josie's heartbeat. So at 25 weeks, she kept replaying that.

I don't like Michelle but I bet that whole 25 week issue was Jill's own fear...

[GEML]

I imagine it was mostly Jill's own fear, but I imagine Jill took the loss so hard because, well, Michelle told us all things were fine because Jill was monitoring the pregnancy. How kind, Michelle, to basically say that the loss was partly Jill's responsibility, since you were also telling us every other breath you were doing everything right....

[BitterApple]

Yeah, it was ridiculous for Michelle to give a semi-literate teenager a primary role in her prenatal care. Michelle lost Jubilee because age and biology finally caught up with her, not because of anything Jill did.

[JenCarroll]

What is the problem with the pronunciation of bouquet?

It's a borrowed word from French, where it's pronounced "boo-kay." "Bow-kay" is a very common American pronunciation and it's even listed in dictionaries as a variant. It's fine.

[Lukeysboat]

It's a borrowed word from French, where it's pronounced "boo-kay." "Bow-kay" is a very common American pronunciation and it's even listed in dictionaries as a variant. It's fine.

I realize "bouquet" has French origins, but of course the United States isn't France. ;) Merriam-Webster lists the "bow-kay" as the first pronunciation. I didn't see why it was anything odd to point out, I guess.

Edited April 12, 2015 by Lukeysboat

[JenCarroll]

I realize "bouquet" has French origins, but of course the United States isn't France. ;) Merriam-Webster lists the "bow-kay" as the first pronunciation. I didn't see why it was anything odd to point out, I guess.

Well, I wasn't the OP on the question, I just think that's most likely what the poster had in mind.

I am a French bilingual and I could care less how anyone pronounces bouquet. Because you're right -- it's an English word now. :-)

Edited April 12, 2015 by JenCarroll

[luvly]

Isn't bereavement leave a seperate thing down there? Also glad Jilly could make it to a funeral for someone she likely hasn't ever met. I guess this will just have to be my hill to die on, unfortunately. In my opinion they showed me who they are in that episode.

 

I hate to defend a Duggar but I live in GA, not AR, and bereavement leave really isn't a separate thing down here. It's more common here than when I lived in NJ but its existence, or lack thereof, is still company policy not law (unless you live in Oregon). Derick's only leave option would have been FMLA and only if he'd been working at Walmart for at least 12 months, which he hadn't yet. The family member who passed was Derick's grandmother, who Jill had met before, and her funeral was in OK City, much closer than Omaha, NE. Also, this happened around Thanksgiving, and I believe Walmart enforces the same holiday blackout policy for corporate and retail employees. 

[floridamom]

Bereavement leave usually is 1-3 days depending on the decedent's relationship to the employee. If it's a more distant family member, one can take a vacation day. I can't believe that derickdillard has ANY vacation time left as he seems to be always "out of the office" most weeks anyhow. If I were one of his co-workers, it would irk me that ALL of his leave is approved? Don't want to sound like sour grapes, here, I really don't but how can a one year employee gather that much paid leave? If he's being docked pay for his days out, I wouldn't think that sits well with his superiors or peers at work. Why does he get special treatment? If he's out so much, that may deny others of taking their justified and earned leave...not fair IMO.

[GEML]

Again, everyone assumes he works at the office in a typical 9-5 job with no flex time or ability to work from home or schedule his own hours from time to time.

[Wellfleet]

Again, everyone assumes he works at the office in a typical 9-5 job with no flex time or ability to work from home or schedule his own hours from time to time.

 

Of course the "flex-time" idea is possible. Maybe, for whatever reason - his Mom, his TV connection, his charisma-LOL - Derick is some kind of really special snowflake at WalMart. But I think the better question is - how likely is that? Really? Especially for someone as new-to-the-job as he is? Have to agree with floridamom. He really seems to have had an inordinate amount of time away from the office since beginning that job, which was barely over a year ago. I'd happily grant flex-time/work-from-home time to a seasoned employee - someone whose work I knew well and had served at least 3-5 years on the job. But Derick? Sorry but no way, not yet. He isn't close to having earned that particular benefit at this point. In my experience, the first year anywhere is the Clueless Year. Everything is new and you're just happy if you can tread water from day to day, and not do anything too stupid. The second year you are not completely clueless - and can usually anticipate when the frantic times and down-times will come.  The third year is the charm. You have two years under your belt and can begin to prepare ahead of time for what you now know is headed your way.

Edited April 13, 2015 by Wellfleet

[GEML]

Wow- we live in very different worlds. I know plenty of people in first year white collar jobs who do flextime/partial work from home positions. But that's me.