Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[snappymilo]

Lydia seems to have gone to glory in 2008.

[Libby96]

After having heard about the pink bedroom on the other now dearly departed sight, I finally checked it out via the link on this thread. Wow. Just wow. So pink, but I think the gauzy white tulle dangling down from above is truly the piece de resistance.

It would be too flouncy for my ten-year-old daughter.

Edited June 7, 2014 by Libby96

[mbutterfly]

You mean she actually, and not facetiously called herself Lydia of purple?

[Marigny]

You mean she actually, and not facetiously called herself Lydia of purple?

Yup. 

[snappymilo]

Yes, she did. Part of her website is still up, you can still see the Little House on the Prairie realness at http://lydiaofpurple.com/

Edited June 7, 2014 by snappymilo

[Absolom]

Didn't she die?

[Lillybee]

She did die and Poppa married a much younger woman and some of the children were pissed at this. A few of the daughter did get married. I believe Poppa ran a puppy mill. I really wonder what happened to the Down's syndrome daughter. I hope that one of her sisters took her in.

[RedheadZombie]

I think the Maxwell parents are full on bat shit crazy.   I would encourage anyone who hasn't viewed their web site to take a look at their "reversal children".  What is that you ask?  After their first children, Teri was diagnosed with a hormonal imbalance which contributed to an extreme depression.  Steve also states that the three children were challenging, and Teri found it difficult to cope.  Yes, he places all the blame on her.  Apparently he was superdad. 

 

He then again states that the three children were all his wife could cope with.  After consulting the medical community, Christian counselor, Teri's dad (yes, even Teri's dad had more power over her fucking uterus than she did), one of them was sterilized. 

 

He mentions again that for Teri's well being, they could not have more children.  But one day, Steve tells his wife he's going to settle the matter of children, and reads his bible and receives some sort of epiphany.  With tears running down his cheeks and his heart melodramatically breaking, Steve was told by God to have more children.  Since God did not give Adam and Eve the ability to avoid pregnancy, Steve thinks it's wrong to use birth control.  I wonder if he would approve of living with only caveman luxuries in every other matter in their lives.

 

After much more prayer, God magically produced the funds for reversal surgery, as well as the surgeon to perform it.  They went on to have five more children, as well as multiple miscarriages.  Just to clarify, he did not consult his wife before deciding on sterilization, and he didn't consult her when he decided to have more children.  No mention of Teri's severe depression being gone.  No mention of how she suddenly was able to handle eight children when three left her at her breaking point.  I don't know if I've ever heard of a man who is more patriarchal than this one. 

[NJRach]

Lydia of Purple was interesting, in a sociologically disturbed way. I was home sick one day and bored, so I read through every page of the website. It was truly bizarre. The dresses were modest to begin with, but they would sew on something called a cape for more modesty. It was like an art smock over your dress, to make it appear you didn't have any sign of breasts. The scariest thing was one of the grown daughters posing alongside an American Girl doll and they were dressed in identical clothes. She was smiling and holding a doll. That image still gives me nightmares. 

Edited June 7, 2014 by NJRach

[Fostersmom]

I think it was one of the Maxwell boys who was probably practicing birth control with his wife. I was reading some fundy blog and there was a post about one of the brothers who was married and his and his wife's baby died right after birth. According to the blog, they had been married for 6 years and tried and tried to get pregnant to no avail. So it was doubly sad that this baby died. But then, miracle of miracles, suddenly the wife was suddenly able to get pregnant like clockwork every 12-16 months. I'd like to think the wife was on the pill or Depo shot and they just didn't feel the need to start popping out a zillion kids right away. But this being a Maxwell, they had to claim infertility instead. I mean, I guess it could happen, but as far as I know, infertility isn't suddenly cured by a pregnancy. And given the Maxwells make the Duggars look like atheist Democrats (both of which I am), this would be a major secret. 

[Abstract]

Sometimes infertility is cured by pregnancy, depending on what caused the infertility to begin with. Speaking from personal experience here.

[mbutterfly]

Yes, she did. Part of her website is still up, you can still see the Little House on the Prairie realness at http://lydiaofpurple.com/

Thank you for sharing that. She didn't charge very much for all that ruffling and fabric to cut -- like $25 for a dress! It is interesting since the Biblical Lydia, though a convert to Christianity, wasn't (apparently a seamstress) nor did she provide modest fabric. She probably sold her purple fabric to the wealthiest pagans of the Empire. lol 

[Lillybee]

Anna's sister, Esther and her family, husband John Schrader and their eight children are on their way to Zambia so that John can be a missionary. John has spent about two years wandering around the USA trying to raise money for his missionary trip. During most of this time the family of 10 has been living in a pop-up camper. This guy is so batshit crazy, he makes Joshie and TFDW look like the finest catches in fundieland.  This is one of the threads on FreeJinger about them.

 

http://www.freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=18815

[bigskygirl]

All I can say is wow!!!

[mbutterfly]

Anna's sister, Esther and her family, husband John Schrader and their eight children are on their way to Zambia so that John can be a missionary. John has spent about two years wandering around the USA trying to raise money for his missionary trip. During most of this time the family of 10 has been living in a pop-up camper. This guy is so batshit crazy, he makes Joshie and TFDW look like the finest catches in fundieland.  This is one of the threads on FreeJinger about them.

 

http://www.freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=18815

Reading this I wondered, is there something in this religion against immunizations? Some reason his little children into Zambia without precautions. The health information for travelers very strongly warns about the need for vaccines and meds for hepatitis A, malaria, and typhoid. What sort of crazy person takes tiny little children where these three diseases are so common? I hadn't read about John Schrader before. Any why Zambia, a country that is already about 87% Christian. I can see sending actual medical missionaries. I'm so confused by his purpose. 

Edited June 7, 2014 by mbutterfly

[Lillybee]

I think that he feels that Zambia's christians are not the right kind of christians so they need converting to KJV only.

[SmallTownMom]

I just checked out Chad's blog.

 

One word:  PING!

 

The pink bedroom is just awful for a married couple.  And the guest room with the cowboy theme?  Both look like childrens' rooms.

 

My husband would have just said "Oh, hell no!" to both.

 

Just shows again how emotionally stunted these young adults are.

[Sew Sumi]

Don't get me started on Stevehovah Maxhell....err....Maxwell.

 

Kelly Bates put up a post on the blog with pictures from Alyssa's three wedding showers. I'm sorry, but isn't one enough? Why did a bunch of the groom's parents' friends feel the need to throw one? Sure, she'll be going to church with them, but they don't even know the girl, not to mention most of these ladies were old enough to be her granny, or older aunties. That just doesn't compute with me.

[Absolom]

Three isn't that unusual with the distance that the couple's parents live apart. Those women in Florida know the groom and the groom's parents so it's pretty normal that they would want to have a party at least partially in his (and his mother's) honor.

[Skittl1321]

I know people who had like 10 wedding showers. You don't throw them for yourself.  If people throw them for you, what are you going to do?
I did ask one person who wanted to throw me a second shower not to, because the group she intended to invite wasn't going to be invited to the wedding, and I thought that was inappropriate. But I had another friend who had so many showers I lost count.  Same with babies. We had a shower yesterday, and the girl said it was her fifth! But none of us were at the other ones, so we still wanted to shower her.

[MrMattyMatt]

When the economy is fairly good, it's any excuse to have a party it seems.

[BitterApple]

Hey, why settle for one shower when you can be a greedy grifter for three? And I'm sure Kelly Bates sent out reminders to let everyone know where Alyssa was registered...

During Erin's wedding epi I was shocked at how juvenile she was. My eleven year-old neighbor conducts herself with more composure and maturity than twenty-something Erin. It's downright scary to see how these Fundie kids are so emotionally stunted.

[Spencer Hastings]

My friend just had 4 baby showers.  One for her mom's family, one for her boyfriend's family who live quite a distance away, one for her friends in her current city, and one for her friends in her hometown. Everyone was kind of spread out and they all wanted to attend, so people just threw them for her in places that would be convenent for all of the groups.  Three wedding showers isn't all that much when people are spread out.

[Sew Sumi]

I can see it if these people knew the bride/mother-to-be. But in the case of the Florida shower for Alyssa, why not just throw her a housewarming party a couple of weeks after they've had time to settle in? It's still a gift grab for the couple, which as was pointed out above, is the main purpose of these things (for the Bateses...can't comment on others).

[DangerousMinds]

When the economy is fairly good, it's any excuse to have a party it seems.

The economy is good? LOL.

[trimthatfat]

 

During Erin's wedding epi I was shocked at how juvenile she was. My eleven year-old neighbor conducts herself with more composure and maturity than twenty-something Erin. It's downright scary to see how these Fundie kids are so emotionally stunted.

 

I try not to snark on things that cannot be helped, but Erin's voice is incredibly irritating.

 

Chad and Erin's home? Just wow...I can't get over their bedroom. I get that it's the first room she's had of her own, but what happened to just doing a few pink accents here and there? The room is such an eyesore, as is that cowboy themed room.

[Lillybee]

Erin grew up in a cowboy themed house so maybe she is just continuing the family tradition.

[MrMattyMatt]

The economy is good? LOL.

No, but I said fairly good....

[Skittl1321]

 

I can see it if these people knew the bride/mother-to-be. But in the case of the Florida shower for Alyssa, why not just throw her a housewarming party a couple of weeks after they've had time to settle in? It's still a gift grab for the couple, which as was pointed out above, is the main purpose of these things (for the Bateses...can't comment on others).

 

Maybe because the family wanted to get to know her better before the wedding?

 

How is it a gift grab if someone else throws you a shower?  If she was throwing her own showers, then I can see it being a gift grab. 

[gunderda]

3 showers is about the average I would think.  Especially if you're going to church.  You have your immediate family, then maybe the in-laws if they aren't close-by,  a church open house, and one with friends/co-workers.  My friend had about that many and I think she was about to go nuts.  She would have only had one but when people say they want to do it for you it's kinda rude to tell them no (especially if they aren't invited to the others).

[JessDVD]

I had 4 wedding showers which I thought was totally excessive, but likewise, I felt it would be rude to say no. My church hosts a shower for all first-time brides & moms, my in-laws-to-be wanted to do one with then-fiance's aunts, the young marrieds group at church hosted a couples shower for us - that was neat because couples were invited, though a lot of them also came to the church shower AND the wedding also, and my college friends did one also. By the time I had my first baby and people were talking baby shower, I told them all to just come to the church-hosted shower.

 

I'd hazard a guess that most young fiancees just go with the flow on these things, so as to not offend anyone. By the time the babies come around (at least if that's not during the first year of marriage), they're more used to telling people how they want things to be.

[3 is enough]

Just saw some photos from Alyssa's wedding.  What's up with the plastic 60's go-go girl earrings she was wearing?  They looked very odd with a wedding gown.  A SLEEVELESS gown I might add.  Surprised she is only 19.  Honestly would have thought Gil would not be ok with one of his girls marrying so young.

[Sew Sumi]

She wore those doorknocker earrings throughout her honeymoon (selfie parade). As for age, it's fewer mouths for Lawson to feed. I'm surprised 18 year old Tori isn't courting yet. Or Nathan; he has to be around 20/21 (IIRC, he's between Lawson and Alyssa in birth order).

[PinkSprinkles]

It's hard to knock early marriage when you don't encourage your girls to be anything but a wife and mother. 

[Lillybee]

Anna's sister, Esther, about 6 months pregnant, her husband John Schraeder and their 8 blessings arrived in Zambia. Their visas are not complete yet. John did not secure housing for the family so they are currently staying in a church basement without running water. Esther said something about having the joy of hauling water. Two of the children already got fevers but they say using colloidal silver knocked the fevers out of them. They do not have a doctor but are looking for a midwife. Esther has very long labors. If I were a praying person, I would be down on my knees praying for the safety of those kids and Esther.

[floridamom]

LilyBee, I can't believe what I just read. What the hell is wrong with Mrs. Kellar? Is she that much of a timid mush mouth to not look out and protect her own daughter? This family is bat shit crazy, sorry, but if YOU want to minister in a volatile location, do it BEFORE having children, or after they are on their own. These women/girls are brainwashed into nothing but servants, not to God, but to their abusive husbands. I don't think that God needs Esther to be hauling water especially while pregnant. Didn't we stop doing that around 1900? This group sets women and women's health, safety back 150 years. They should hang their heads in shame not be proud of their "spiritual superiority". Heaven, help that family and open someone's eyes. Why doesn't a real minister step in there, and say what's needed to be said? Put HER and HER kids on a plane back home to her parents' house in Florida.

[SaharaTea]

Yeah, I really wish Alyssa had not worn those earrings on her wedding day.  They are too much with the veil. Always better to keep jewelry simple on your wedding day.

 

Lawson's first music video was released and you can see it on Kelly's blog.  He has a pretty good voice, although the song is something my five year old niece could have written.  I'm surprised they filmed the video in Colorado, you would think fundies would totally avoid the state for fear of getting a contact high.

 

Erin looked kind of swollen at Alyssa's wedding.  I wouldn't be surprised if she's already pregnant again and keeping it under wraps. 

[mbutterfly]

LilyBee, I can't believe what I just read. What the hell is wrong with Mrs. Kellar? Is she that much of a timid mush mouth to not look out and protect her own daughter? This family is bat shit crazy, sorry, but if YOU want to minister in a volatile location, do it BEFORE having children, or after they are on their own. These women/girls are brainwashed into nothing but servants, not to God, but to their abusive husbands. I don't think that God needs Esther to be hauling water especially while pregnant. Didn't we stop doing that around 1900? This group sets women and women's health, safety back 150 years. They should hang their heads in shame not be proud of their "spiritual superiority". Heaven, help that family and open someone's eyes. Why doesn't a real minister step in there, and say what's needed to be said? Put HER and HER kids on a plane back home to her parents' house in Florida.

I agree. Perhaps they should read The Poisonwood Bible.

[Almost 3000]

@mbutterfly The Poisonwood Bible is so scary and in this case very close to reality. Esther was living in a pop up type trailer with those kids because John wanted to pursue missionary work and love offerings instead of actually working. Its sooo nuts.

[Lillybee]

I think that Esther is a prime example of what can go wrong with the theory of submissive wives. I think that a woman needs to point out that her man is being an idiot if he tries to force his family into a dangerous state. But sadly, a fundie woman is expected to keep sweet, say nothing and follow his lead.

[Micks Picks]

What are KJV pastors?  Everybody is loony in this mess, in my opinion, and would benefit from nobody praying anymore but instead thinking somewhat logically and buying a brain among them.  If in this country, I'd envision a court case with me filing the petition for child endangerment, fundie beliefs be damned.

[PinkSprinkles]

I assume all Christian pastors would be well-versed in the King James Version of the Bible. I know there's a more modernized version, but I have always read KJV. 

Edited June 17, 2014 by PinkSprinkles

[Skittl1321]

There are many churches that do not use KJV. It's not that there is "a" more modernized version, it is that there are TONS of them. But I would guess that most pastors did study KJV to some extent in divinity school (depending on what their ordination is, the importance of KJV would vary- lots of churches do not like it) but that doesn't mean they use it- these missionaries are trying to spread its use.

I would not go to a church that uses KJV, but that is my preference. 

 

And Catholic priests are probably not well-versed in the KJV, as it isn't a Catholic Bible, but they aren't pastors, so maybe they are excluded from "Christian pastors"- but they are definitely Christian spiritual leaders. (Unless you're (general you) the kind of Christian who doesn't consider Catholics Christian)

[mbutterfly]

I assume all Christian pastors would be well-versed in the King James Version of the Bible. I know there's a more modernized version, but I have always read KJV. 

I think most pastors find there is great and classic beauty in the KJV, but many denominations do not prefer it for study. I would say most study Bible will be New International Version or New Revised Standard Version. I lead a women's Bible study and all three of these versions (and others) are used. It is very good, IMO, to study together with multiple versions because each brings its own enlightenment upon Scripture. 

ETA: You might be interested in this bit of trivia. In the early days of our U. S. republic, churches were very careful to avoid the KJV (having so recently given up on English kings). It came back into some favoritism in the 19th century -- but our founding fathers very carefully avoided the KJV. However, I have seen original copies of the version they used and if it weren't for the cover you would have a hard time distinguishing it from the KJV. 

Edited June 17, 2014 by mbutterfly

[Zahdii]

Lillybee said:

 

I think that Esther is a prime example of what can go wrong with the theory of submissive wives. I think that a woman needs to point out that her man is being an idiot if he tries to force his family into a dangerous state. But sadly, a fundie woman is expected to keep sweet, say nothing and follow his lead.

 

So true.  Not sure if I could mention other sites here, but there's at least one out there that devotes a large portion of discussion to fundism, submissive wives, legalism, paternalism, etc.  There's one woman out there who blogs that sometimes she decides during the day that instead of cooking dinner, she'd like her husband to pick up a pizza on the way home.  Does she call her husband up and ask him how pizza for dinner sounds?  No, she prays that God will "lay it on her husband's heart" to pick up a pizza.  I'll bet that if by some miracle her husband decides to get a pizza, it would never occur to him to call his wife and tell her not to prepare dinner, he'd just pick up a pizza and then be disappointed that the little woman isn't in tune enough with God to know not to waste food by preparing a meal when a meal is already on it's way.  How can people live that way?

[mbutterfly]

Lillybee said:

 

 

 

 

So true.  Not sure if I could mention other sites here, but there's at least one out there that devotes a large portion of discussion to fundism, submissive wives, legalism, paternalism, etc.  There's one woman out there who blogs that sometimes she decides during the day that instead of cooking dinner, she'd like her husband to pick up a pizza on the way home.  Does she call her husband up and ask him how pizza for dinner sounds?  No, she prays that God will "lay it on her husband's heart" to pick up a pizza.  I'll bet that if by some miracle her husband decides to get a pizza, it would never occur to him to call his wife and tell her not to prepare dinner, he'd just pick up a pizza and then be disappointed that the little woman isn't in tune enough with God to know not to waste food by preparing a meal when a meal is already on it's way.  How can people live that way?

Well,  perhaps he prays that God will lay it on his wife's heart to sit down, put her feet up and hope pizza will arrive. lol It would be fun to live that way if it always worked out how you wanted it to, I guess. Otherwise, that's how God gave us the ability to actually communicate with one another. 

[Lillybee]

Lillybee said:

 

 

 

 

So true.  Not sure if I could mention other sites here, but there's at least one out there that devotes a large portion of discussion to fundism, submissive wives, legalism, paternalism, etc.  There's one woman out there who blogs that sometimes she decides during the day that instead of cooking dinner, she'd like her husband to pick up a pizza on the way home.  Does she call her husband up and ask him how pizza for dinner sounds?  No, she prays that God will "lay it on her husband's heart" to pick up a pizza.  I'll bet that if by some miracle her husband decides to get a pizza, it would never occur to him to call his wife and tell her not to prepare dinner, he'd just pick up a pizza and then be disappointed that the little woman isn't in tune enough with God to know not to waste food by preparing a meal when a meal is already on it's way.  How can people live that way?

 

That was Teri Maxwell. Her husband Steve has a home ministry, I guess. They are friends of the Duggars and Steve bought his daughters to Jinger and Joseph's graduation party.

[floridamom]

Many Catholic priests are pastors. Most parishes (churches) have more than one priest assigned to that particular church and there is one, who is the pastor, (runs that parish) and the associate vicar or pastoral priest who is in assistance. Catholics are indeed Christians, as that is the original Christian church which followed the ascension of Jesus on Pentecost, 40 days after Easter, that's when the founding of the Roman Catholic church occurred. All other Christian faiths and churches were formed from there on, either breaking away from the subsequent faiths, or starting a brand new Christian faith founded by a man or men. The original "bible" was written by the catholic church and inscribed by cloistered priests in abbeys.  Having said that, I respect all faiths on this earth, there are over 27,000 Christian faiths on this planet alone. What I do not follow is some micro-managing, severe, isolating, censoring belief system that the Duggars subscribe to.

[jumper sage]

LillieBee - You owe me 2.5 hours.  That link had me mesmerized.  OMFG!  To think this is the sister of Anna Duggar.  You just had to make the Duggars with all their medicine and dentists and food shopping look better in my eyes.

 

OK, I am ready to send a rescue plane for everyone but the asshole that got them there.  Who's with me?

[Lillybee]

They have rented a three bedroom house. I think that household goods are being shipped by container in a month or more but at least they are out of that church basement.