Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[sometimesy]

4 hours ago, Zahdii said:

I no longer think there'll be a wedding in the very near future.  Jill has ignored the whole Nurie courting story lately.  I think she either jumped the gun on some poor fundy lad who merely said hello to Nurie when their family visited the Rod's, or if there was an interest party the scads of interest and speculation about what it would be like to marry into that bunch sent him running.

Well, if true, dammit! 'Cause now I like him.

[louannems]

On 11/8/2017 at 6:48 AM, Churchhoney said:

I think it works this way: The Pearls basically have their own little separate cult going. And the rest of these people are in their own groups -- Gothard, Quiverfull, etc. 

And I think Pearl has basically set his miniature cult up to act as a vendor of just one set of really bad ideas to individuals from other cults like JB and M and Jill R. And of course a money-making venture for Pearl, as a result of that.

Doesn't seem that anybody follows the Pearls in anything much besides male-privilege-taken-to-the-limit and, especially, child beating. Nobody really seems to care what the Pearls think about anything but those two things. It's probably the no-birth-control crowd that's most interested in buying the Pearl's "product" because it's the mobs of kids that are most likely to send them in search of plumbing line. 

In the early 1980's, at my SDA rural church, members loved Pearl's books. The church even held parenting classes based on his book!

Most people in that church only had 2 or 3 kids. Most were even college educated.

I attended one class and never went back.

[Churchhoney]

16 minutes ago, louannems said:

In the early 1980's, at my SDA rural church, members loved Pearl's books. The church even held parenting classes based on his book!

Most people in that church only had 2 or 3 kids. Most were even college educated.

I attended one class and never went back.

Yikes. 

Just shows how anxious adults are about their ability to control their kids, I guess. Yikes.

[Sew Sumi]

Alyssa Webster's knocked up again. Third girl. And she's nowhere near the size of Joy. 

https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-moms/news/bringing-up-bates-alyssa-webster-is-expecting-third-baby-girl/

[Fuzzysox]

I was about to come post about Alysa being pregnant again. For a girl that didn't want a lot of kids she is not wasting time having one after another. Again my heart goes out to Michaela.

Poor Nurie. No wedding makes me sad because I was dreaming of a world were she would have plenty of food to eat without giving up a meal so her brothers and sisters had more to eat.

Edited November 9, 2017 by Fuzzysox

[BitterApple]

Good Lord, Bates girls, slow your rolls. Erin and Alyssa have popped out a kid every year. At this rate they'll be ten blessings deep by their early thirties.

I get that Chad and John have real jobs, but from a practical standpoint, how are they affording all of this? Kids are expensive no matter which way you cut it. I guess it's not quite as bad when you don't have college funds to worry about, but still.

And I agree, poor Michalea. I wonder what the issue is with her that she can't conceive?

[floridamom]

Well, with 3 children so close to one another I think Alyssa's nice, quiet, neat house will be a thing of the past. I didn't think she was like her family having children like she seems to be doing. I wonder if they're trying for 'the boy'? I understand Webster 3 is another girl. Hope all goes well for them, of course, but only 10 months since her last birth? I don't think that's a good idea. They're all idiots and live dangerously in that area.

[Absolom]

Alyssa has 6 pounders and so far has carried small.  I won't be surprised if Joy Anna's newborn is twice the size of Alyssa's.

[Lunera]

Alyssa has stated that she wants to have 6 kids total. On an episode from last season when she was explaining how she goes to work after John comes home from work, she said she was ok with 2 for now. She probably wanted her 6 kids spaced out until menopause hit but at this rate she'll have her 6th before 30, like Sierra. She's not that dumb she should already know unprotected sex= baby.

I like how her baby announcement is also an ad.

Edit: ad is for a design business.

Edited November 9, 2017 by Lunera

[Churchhoney]

58 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Good Lord, Bates girls, slow your rolls. Erin and Alyssa have popped out a kid every year. At this rate they'll be ten blessings deep by their early thirties.

I get that Chad and John have real jobs, but from a practical standpoint, how are they affording all of this? Kids are expensive no matter which way you cut it. I guess it's not quite as bad when you don't have college funds to worry about, but still.

And I agree, poor Michalea. I wonder what the issue is with her that she can't conceive?

Well, in both cases you've got two Gothard families combined. I suppose that makes a difference. I wish it didn't. But then I wish that Rep. Webster, with a degree from Georgia Tech, would have been informed enough not to have his kids educated with frigging Wisdom Booklets. But word is that he did. And I guess you can make bank in the air conditioning business in Orlando. 

24 minutes ago, Lunera said:

Alyssa has stated that she wants to have 6 kids total. On an episode from last season when she was explaining how she goes to work after John comes home from work, she said she was ok with 2 for now. She probably wanted her 6 kids spaced out until menopause hit but at this rate she'll have her 6th before 30, like Sierra. She's not that dumb she should already know unprotected sex= baby.

I like how her baby announcement is also an ad for her dress.

Coinky-dink. John's from a family of six. 

[Temperance]

The way these fundie families preach about "birth control is evil"  creates a mindset for these kids that is really hard to escape. They have been taught since childhood and before puberty that birth control is a sin and married off for the most part people raised the same way.  Then the girls get married see how hard it is and they wish magically for not too many.  That mindset is incredibly hard to shake. Recovering Grace (a blog for ex-Gothardites) talks about how hard it is to shake the belief birth control is wrong. My Catholic fundie friends have a hard admitting they use birth control, because they've had teachers in Catholic schools and a few family members and friends saying you should  leave it up to God and what not.  And these are people who know a lot of more mainstream people (compared to those raised Gothard.) 

No doubt in my mind that sweet Kelly Bates would throw a fit if one of her girls pulled a Jinger. (yes, assuming Jinger isn't like Michael.) I've known women like her all sweet and loving until somebody does something she doesn't like or agree. Then it's up to them to make sure that person ends up doing the right thing. 

The Bates girls have a close bond with their mother. They probably talk to her all the time and she probably throws "hints" about wanting more grandbabies. Or they say "I'm really struggling with the kids." and she says "But this is what God wants, so keep going."  

It's not surprising Alyssa and Erin are pregnant, and I won't be surprised if Jessa is pregnant. 

There's a reason Quiverfull (an independent nondenominational movement) was part of Gothard's plan. Getting people to have huge families changes the way they think and how they see the rest of the world. By giving the women lots of little kids to raise and constantly having to deal with the stress/physical challenges of being pregnant it limits what they can done in a day, how much time they have to contemplate their lifestyle, etc. 

Edited November 9, 2017 by Temperance

[lookeyloo]

What about Whitney and Zach. I wonder if an announcement from them will be forthcoming.

[trimthatfat]

I really thought Alyssa would hold off on more kids. Wow. This'll be 3 under 3, right?

Tori Bates is getting married, right? I don't know how Michaela will cope if Tori gets pregnant asap.

[ariel]

Is it Michaela who has the fertility issues or is it her husband?  Have they both been tested for this?  In the bible they usually blame the woman.  

[kalamac]

32 minutes ago, trimthatfat said:

I really thought Alyssa would hold off on more kids. Wow. This'll be 3 under 3, right?

Tori Bates is getting married, right? I don't know how Michaela will cope if Tori gets pregnant asap.

I wonder if they are just going with the idea of getting all the pregnancies out of the way as quickly as possible. Several friends of mine, only one of whom is religious, have all had their kids spaced only a year apart (most stopping at 2 or 3, but one with 4), and every one of them has said that they want their kids close in age so they'll be friends, and they also all seem to be latched onto the idea of only having to deal with nappies for a limited amount of time, then having all kids toilet trained, and being done with it, rather having to keep going back as they would if the kids were spaced out.

[Arwen Evenstar]

And I’m sure the Bates girls and wives all threw away their filthy nappies and didn’t pile them up on their bedside table, a là Jessa.

[trimthatfat]

1 hour ago, ariel said:

Is it Michaela who has the fertility issues or is it her husband?  Have they both been tested for this?  In the bible they usually blame the woman.  

I got her the impression that both she and her husband were tested for all possible issues. Most fertility specialists will check the husband first because that process tends to be less invasive. 

[FakeJoshDuggar]

1 hour ago, trimthatfat said:

I got her the impression that both she and her husband were tested for all possible issues. Most fertility specialists will check the husband first because that process tends to be less invasive. 

See, I got the opposite impression. It seemed like Michaela wanted to see a specialist but her headship was all, “be patient and leave it up to god.” She then looked like she wanted to cry and hit him in the face but she just weakly smiled and nodded. 

[Sew Sumi]

I could have sworn that she said that SHE had seen one of the area's top specialists. Brandon's status wasn't mentioned. 

[Punkadoo]

17 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

I could have sworn that she said that SHE had seen one of the area's top specialists. Brandon's status wasn't mentioned. 

I think you are right. It was more of an I conversation than a we. Perhaps she didn't mention his part in the testing because while its her prerogative to share what's going on with her body, he isn't comfortable with it. Mr. Doo is the sweetest most open man ever but even he would not appreciate me talking about how his junk works on tv.  

[awaken]

@Temperance, thank you for your comments- interesting discussion!

[Gweilo]

On their blog, Michael wrote:

(snipped)..."our first anniversary came and went and still no pregnancy. Now I knew something was definitely wrong, and I started praying and searching for a specialist. It didn’t take long to find one and make appointments. We were seen almost immediately, and with each new test my heart broke a little more....not only has God shown me His hand of provision on the medical side of this walk (finding doctors, searching for answers, providing finances), He also has allowed me to see how this time has knit our hearts together as a couple."

So it's a bit ambiguous as to who is being tested and what for, but it seems reasonable to conclude they're seeing proper doctors (who would be testing both B & M) as opposed to a Christian doctor who says "just pray more, Michael".

[trimthatfat]

Michael explicitly used 'we' in her blog post. I have no reason to believe she's being blamed by anyone, including her husband, for not getting pregnant or that Brandon wasn't tested. Again, fertility specialists will usually test men first because that process is less invasive. I think the Bates and Brandon, religion aside, have more compassion than that than to blame her.

[DangerousMinds]

What if it's "god's" plan that they don't have children?

[floridamom]

Michaela goes on to say in her post that 'with every test HER heart broke a little more'...not OUR hearts broke a little more. I really wonder if Brandon was tested. I also don't think he's anxious for children. He seems to be quite happy with having to live with Michaela...you know, a good roommate...they save on the two bedroom that way. Sorry, guys, but I still think he'd be fine living as a single guy.

[janey]

As someone who has been there done that for years with multiple doctors hubby had to get tested each time. I'd be shocked if they found a place that would put her through all of the invasive testing without checking to see if he was firing blanks. 

[Punkadoo]

I do not conceive naturally. I went through a time when I was so resentful of the reckless cavalier attitude people would have about having children. I finally found peace when I dug deep and decided that for one reason or another, it was gods plan. That was a big deal for me because I am an evil catholic and even at that, more of the cafeteria variety.   Eventually I gave birth to my daughter via fertility drugs. I had gestational diabetes, IUGR, and pre eclampsia that rapidly pulled me into renal failure.  hard pregnancy punctuated by an emergency birth. Perhaps this won't be a universally approved point of view but I feel like god knew what he was doing in my instance. He knew I would never survive a birth until SCIENCE was in place to save us and I was mature enough to handle the struggle. At least that in my rationale for my own situation. I hope Michaela and Brandon finds the inner peace to accept both the will of god and the miracle of science. No matter what the outcome, when it comes to fertility and childbirth, god and science are intertwined.  Ok. Almost the end of the story.  12 years later I got lucky again at 41 and have a second amazing daughter. Same pregnancy struggles, thank god for Stanford Medical. My second little sunshine is 4. And I stand by my original post on this topic. Michaela may be more willing to discuss, I know i am an open book as well.  Perhaps Brandon much like Mr. Doo may just not want to talk about how his junk is working or not in public. It may give off the impression he isn't involved at times but isn't necessarily the case. 

[Marigold]

I was cleaning out DVR stuff and found the episode where Michael and Erin discuss the fertility issues. Michael clearly told Erin that they have an excellent specialist and that people fly into the area to see this particular doctor/practice. 

Certainly doesn't sound like some looney tune backwards Gothard fool.  

[Sew Sumi]

Whitney's been a busy little money-making bee, hasn't she? 

[GeeGolly]

I never knew that a coffee mug, exfoliater and eye shadow were needed to be fit. I guess those are fab & fun?

[DangerousMinds]

I am soooooo rolling my eyes at "mommy" and "girls." 

[louannems]

Doesn't Whitney have her realtor's license?  Can't she make way more money selling houses than peddling boxes of junk?

[Sew Sumi]

4 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

I am soooooo rolling my eyes at "mommy" and "girls." 

I hope that's not her sales pitch when showing a house. 

[Annb67]

I have to defend Whitney. I love my fab fit fun box. It is high quality stuff. Kind of surprised she knew about it.

[Temperance]

I didn't know Fabfitfun was like Avon. I thought it was more you just had to go to the site an order it. Getting the box does seem fun though. 

Whitney doesn't look pregnant to me, but she looks a lot like Jessa in the latest photos where other people thought Jessa looked pregnant. 

[Sew Sumi]

1 hour ago, Annb67 said:

I have to defend Whitney. I love my fab fit fun box. It is high quality stuff. Kind of surprised she knew about it.

I think Alyssa shills it, too. 

[floridamom]

What was the reason for Whitney getting her real estate license if she's going to sell cosmetics?

[GeeGolly]

Is she selling it or getting a kickback? I thought it was like one of those monthly subscription things where you pay a fee and get a delivery each month with different random products that the manufacturers will hope you'll like and start buying. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Is she selling it or getting a kickback? I thought it was like one of those monthly subscription things where you pay a fee and get a delivery each month with different random products that the manufacturers will hope you'll like and start buying. 

I think these come quarterly. I've seen the ads for them and thought they were the same sort of thing as well. I get the Ipsy bags, which I enjoy, but those generally have a few sample-size products along with one or two full size ones each month. I think these are  all full-size products and include a variety of different types of things.

[queenanne]

4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Is she selling it or getting a kickback? I thought it was like one of those monthly subscription things where you pay a fee and get a delivery each month with different random products that the manufacturers will hope you'll like and start buying. 

I assume kickback, since she mentioned its name... I have Birchbox myself, though I think soon I have to cut myself off, as the samples are starting to pile up.

[kalamac]

I get Universal Yums, a snack box that sends snacks from around the world. (This month was Turkey). I would happily shill for them on social media if it got me free boxes, so no shade here,

[Heathen]

On 11/19/2017 at 2:48 AM, Sew Sumi said:

Whitney's been a busy little money-making bee, hasn't she? 

The Bateses need to lay off the Instagram filters. Whitney barely looks human. 

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

19 hours ago, kalamac said:

I get Universal Yums, a snack box that sends snacks from around the world. (This month was Turkey). I would happily shill for them on social media if it got me free boxes, so no shade here,

No hate.......If I was a minor celeb with a sizable social media following, I'd totally shill for free stuff I liked, too. But only the stuff I liked. Or cash....I like cash.

[floridamom]

I hardly recognized Whitney. What did she do to herself recently?

[Fuzzysox]

Amy Roloff also has been gifted one of those boxes. I think it's one of those " look you can have one too like your favorite star" campaigns. I  can't remember who else got one suddenly as a "surprise." Cheap marketing ploy!

[ChiCricket]

2 hours ago, floridamom said:

I hardly recognized Whitney. What did she do to herself recently?

Photo filters?

[Sew Sumi]

Kelly confirmed on IG that Torbi's wedding will be 12/16. Here is a confirmed registry. 

https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/giftregistry/view_registry_guest.jsp?pwsToken=&eventType=Wedding&inventoryCallEnabled=true&registryId=545189831&pwsurl=

[flyingdi]

On 11/20/2017 at 11:42 PM, Heathen said:

The Bateses need to lay off the Instagram filters. Whitney barely looks human. 

She looks like Jeremy Roloff's wife in that picture.  The redhead, whatever her name is.

[GeeGolly]

8 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Kelly confirmed on IG that Torbi's wedding will be 12/16. Here is a confirmed registry. 

https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/giftregistry/view_registry_guest.jsp?pwsToken=&eventType=Wedding&inventoryCallEnabled=true&registryId=545189831&pwsurl=

She's choosing some Ellen DeGeneres items. I wonder if she knows who Ellen is?

[Misslindsey]

26 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

She's choosing some Ellen DeGeneres items. I wonder if she knows who Ellen is?

I was thinking the same thing.