Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[RazzleberryPie]

10 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

I am right there with ya Wait, What!  How can it be I have never read this?  

This asshole has no clue how self-centered and just flat out mean he was to his BRIDE. This is usually when the couple is tripping all over each other trying to be lovey dovey. He shows zero remorse for being a total ass.

[Nysha]

24 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

I suppose I could look but is Nurie short for anything?

All I can find is that it is a variation of Nuri, a Hebrew name meaning "fire". They list her full name as Nurie Katelin on their blog, so I doubt it's a nickname for any name they know unless it's something obscure like my SIL's name is Melissa, but she goes by Charlie and my Neice just named her new baby girl Charli-Rose after Aunt Charlie.

[floridamom]

Wait, are there any Bates sons available for these two poor unfortunate girls? Perhaps the more jovial Bates family will shake them up a bit and help them get along in life...

[Nysha]

I think the Bates are too mainstream for the Rodrigues girls. They don't need to find their spouses at the bottom of the fundy barrel. I don't recall JillRod getting an invitation to any of the Bates's weddings.

[Sew Sumi]

I sermon to recall Chimpy photobombing a picture or two at a Bates wedding, but I can't remember which one. They haven't married anyone off in almost two years. 

[pinkelephant3]

Just saw a picture of Whitney in a tank top (almost speghetti strap) dress that is above the knee! It's on her Instagram!

[BitterApple]

Whitney looks beautiful in that picture. The Bateseses are crushing the Duggars in the fashion game.

[Fuzzysox]

2 hours ago, RazzleberryPie said:

This asshole has no clue how self-centered and just flat out mean he was to his BRIDE. This is usually when the couple is tripping all over each other trying to be lovey dovey. He shows zero remorse for being a total ass.

After I read that horrifying blog I thought to myself this is how Smugs learned to treat his wife. *shudder* Remember him making her carry her own luggage?

[xwordfanatik]

On 6/25/2017 at 9:31 AM, ariel said:

Coitus - now you have me thinking of Sheldon Cooper.  That is his favorite word for sex. ;)

I love Sheldon & The Big Bang Theory!

That freaky looking Rip Van Winkle doppelgänger is truly a despicable psycho.  His wife must be crazy, she smiles throughout his rant about abuse of children.

[RazzleberryPie]

4 minutes ago, Fuzzysox said:

After I read that horrifying blog I thought to myself this is how Smugs learned to treat his wife. *shudder* Remember him making her carry her own luggage?

These guys keep getting worse and worse. I can't imagine why JD, Josiah, and some of the Bates and Co. don't have to beat off the girls with a stick. They're looking better and better every day. Make JD a sammich and let him fly his plane, and he'd leave you alone. If you HAVE to get married in this bunch, he's pretty much the Prince Charming of the group. I guess the personality of cold oatmeal is far better than one of these obnoxious, entitled, perverted control freaks.

[bigskygirl]

Sad state of affairs when JD seems to be the best of the bunch.

[LilJen]

2 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

I sermon to recall Chimpy photobombing a picture or two at a Bates wedding, but I can't remember which one. They haven't married anyone off in almost two years. 

I love this typo.

[Sew Sumi]

16 minutes ago, LilJen said:

I love this typo.

I love my spellcheck! 

[Marigold]

I thought Michael's blog post was tasteful. She let the reader know there are issues and they are addressing them. 

 

As for adoption, their religious beliefs are pretty intense.  Would this hinder an adoption? 

[Rabbittron]

That family is very different than the Duggars so it won't surprise me if they adopted. 

[RazzleberryPie]

44 minutes ago, Marigold said:

I thought Michael's blog post was tasteful. She let the reader know there are issues and they are addressing them. 

 

As for adoption, their religious beliefs are pretty intense.  Would this hinder an adoption? 

Depends on how closely they're following ATI/Gothard BS, which says that adoption can be bad, because cursed children carry the sins of their fathers.

They go beyond meaning drug addicted mothers can cause their babies to have issues, or mental illness can be inherited. They literally mean sinful parents can have generational curses that also carry on through several generations. Which is the exact opposite of Christ's command to take care of widows and ORPHANS.

[queenanne]

3 hours ago, RazzleberryPie said:

These guys keep getting worse and worse. I can't imagine why JD, Josiah, and some of the Bates and Co. don't have to beat off the girls with a stick. They're looking better and better every day. Make JD a sammich and let him fly his plane, and he'd leave you alone. If you HAVE to get married in this bunch, he's pretty much the Prince Charming of the group. I guess the personality of cold oatmeal is far better than one of these obnoxious, entitled, perverted control freaks.

It is kind of surprising that some fundie female hasn't realized that it's likely with any sort of clever management skills, she could make a very malleable and pliant husband out of JD.   Maybe it takes one of the older singletons.

[Genevrier]

9 minutes ago, queenanne said:

It is kind of surprising that some fundie female hasn't realized that it's likely with any sort of clever management skills, she could make a very malleable and pliant husband out of JD.   Maybe it takes one of the older singletons.

Maybe he's not interested? Is he the one that said he'll be 'bachelor till the rapture?' I believe in the past, families with an unmarried uncle would say that one was 'not the marrying kind' or 'confirmed bachelor.' I suspect most of the confirmed bachelors actually were gay. 

[ChaChaSlide]

50 minutes ago, Rabbittron said:

That family is very different than the Duggars so it won't surprise me if they adopted. 

It's actually been alleged (and maybe even confirmed?) that Kelly pushed HEAVILY against Zac and Whitney's courtship initially because of the whole Gothard anti-adoption stance @RazzleberryPie succinctly outlined. When she couldn't get him to quit her, she started pushing Whitney towards her bio family as opposed to her adoptive family, even though she was abused and neglected by the bio family. I presume this was to legitimize Whitney in the eyes of Kelly and Gil's peers, especially as Gil sits on the IBLP board.

 

If Kelly felt this strongly about her son's wife birth status, ESPECIALLY with her having adopted siblings, I can only imagine how strongly she would rally against her oldest daughter becoming an adoptive mother herself. And with both Michael and Brandon being the most koolaid steeped of all of the Bates' kids couples, I doubt they would ever consider such a wide dissension from their morals and ethics. It's a shame because, barring most conventional infertility treatment methods and adoption, there is very little one can do to become a parent except for wait and hope, or accept barrenness. Gothardism is an especially cruel brand of fundamentalism (but that's no surprise with blanket training and all the other BS they advocate for). 

 

The Catholic Church actually has their own infertility treatment methods that circumvent the moral and ethical dilemmas conventional infertility methods present to more legalistic Christians, it's called NaproTechnology. It pretty much boils down to treatment methods that were largely abandoned for IUI and IVF like ovarian drilling, wedge resection, and laparoscopic endometriosis excision, fertility drugs like clomid and femara, and timed intercourse between the husband and wife. That being said, if there are other issues at hand like genetic abnormalities or severe sperm issues, there's nothing they can do, but at least it's something, I guess. I doubt the Bates or Keilens would be open to Napro though because they are aligned with and backed by the Catholic Church. 

 

They really have very few religiously acceptable options to start their family, which makes me sad for them, but either they will stand firm in their beliefs or their unlucky hand in life will soften some of their resolve. 

Edited June 27, 2017 by ChaChaSlide

[Beaner]

I don't know much about the Bates, is there a reason her name is Michael?

[lookeyloo]

27 minutes ago, ChaChaSlide said:

It's actually been alleged (and maybe even confirmed?) that Kelly pushed HEAVILY against Zac and Whitney's courtship initially because of the whole Gothard anti-adoption stance @RazzleberryPie succinctly outlined. When she couldn't get him to quit her, she started pushing Whitney towards her bio family as opposed to her adoptive family, even though she was abused and neglected by the bio family. I presume this was to legitimize Whitney in the eyes of Kelly and Gil's peers, especially as Gil sits on the IBLP board.

 

If Kelly felt this strongly about her son's wife birth status, ESPECIALLY with her having adopted siblings, I can only imagine how strongly she would rally against her oldest daughter becoming an adoptive mother herself. And with both Michael and Brandon being the most koolaid steeped of all of the Bates' kids couples, I doubt they would ever consider such a wide dissension from their morals and ethics. It's a shame because, barring most conventional infertility treatment methods and adoption, there is very little one can do to become a parent except for wait and hope, or accept barrenness. Gothardism is an especially cruel brand of fundamentalism (but that's no surprise with blanket training and all the other BS they advocate for). 

 

The Catholic Church actually has their own infertility treatment methods that circumvent the moral and ethical dilemmas conventional infertility methods present to more legalistic Christians, it's called NaproTechnology. It pretty much boils down to treatment methods that were largely abandoned for IUI and IVF like ovarian drilling, wedge resection, and laparoscopic endometriosis excision, fertility drugs like clomid and femara, and timed intercourse between the husband and wife. That being said, if there are other issues at hand like genetic abnormalities or severe sperm issues, there's nothing they can do, but at least it's something, I guess. I doubt the Bates or Keilens would be open to Napro though because they are aligned with and backed by the Catholic Church. 

 

They really have very few religiously acceptable options to start their family, which makes me sad for them, but either they will stand firm in their beliefs or their unlucky hand in life will soften some of their resolve. 

Wait a minute! I learned something new!  I am taking femara to suppress estrogen after my estrogen positive breast tumor was removed (and radiation). is it given to suppress estrogen in infertility?  

[ChaChaSlide]

7 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Wait a minute! I learned something new!  I am taking femara to suppress estrogen after my estrogen positive breast tumor was removed (and radiation). is it given to suppress estrogen in infertility?  

Yes! Both clomid and femara have very similar mechanisms of action within the infertility realm: surpress the body's naturally occurring estrogen so the pituitary works over time in telling the ovary to produce more estrogen and ovulate. Both medications are only used for 5 days in the beginning of the cycle (most commonly days 3-7), or they would eventually overall suppress estrogen production as you have mentioned.   Femara is typically seen as the superior medication for ovulation induction because it doesn't effect the lining as clomid often does, it has a lower rate of multiples than clomid, and it has a higher efficacy rate that clomid. That being said, clomid is still the only FDA approved ovulation induction pill, but this "off the label" use of femara has been going on for 15+ years.

 

All the best wishes for you and your continued health after fighting the pink ribbon fight! 

Edited June 27, 2017 by ChaChaSlide

[Sew Sumi]

48 minutes ago, Beaner said:

I don't know much about the Bates, is there a reason her name is Michael?

Michael was originally named Michal, for the daughter of Saul in the Bible. However, once they actually read their bibles, they realized that Michal was not a woman of character; she chose the path of the man she loved (King David) over the wishes of her father, ie. she did not adhere to patriarchal rule. 

At any rate, Gil and Kelly panicked and went to the courthouse to see what they could do about changing her name. They found out that they could only change/add one letter for no charge. Hence, the added "e" to produce Michael, which is her legal name. I guess Michaella evolved when G&K likely got embarrassed  and frustrated repeatedly explaining why they had a girl with a typical boy's name (yes, I remember Michael Learned from the Waltons). 

Anyway, that's the Crib's Notes version. 

[kalamac]

If only these supposedly super-religious people had actually read the bible first, all that could have been avoided. But, I guess when you're that busy being godly, it doesn't leave much time for reading.

[Albanyguy]

15 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

That freaky looking Rip Van Winkle doppelgänger is truly a despicable psycho.  His wife must be crazy, she smiles throughout his rant about abuse of children.

Even worse, his now-grown children publicly defend his methods and talk about how grateful they are for the "training" they received at his hands. They must have been utterly and completely beaten into submission, still terrified of risking Daddy's displeasure. And now he has grandchildren whose "training" he can supervise.

[ariel]

3 hours ago, Albanyguy said:

Even worse, his now-grown children publicly defend his methods and talk about how grateful they are for the "training" they received at his hands. They must have been utterly and completely beaten into submission, still terrified of risking Daddy's displeasure. And now he has grandchildren whose "training" he can supervise.

What state do they live in? I can't believe they have gotten away with this crap.

[floridamom]

I'm horrified by that "Pearls Guy".  He looks like such a creep.

[twinkietwin94]

read as much of that blog on training children as I could stand to, in other words not much, I just don't understand how these people think a baby can be crying to manipulate the parents. They're attributing more intelligence to an infant than they themselves have

[ariel]

They love the fetus & hate the child.

[Sew Sumi]

12 minutes ago, ariel said:

What state do they live in? I can't believe they have gotten away with this crap.

They're in TN. Shocked, I'm sure.

[Aja]

Anything, including child abuse, exploitation and molestation, is totally acceptable in this country as long as you say you're doing it for Jesus. I swear, if Ted Bundy had simply recited Bible verses in court, he'd be leading a church somewhere right now. With a GoFundMe account set up. If you have sick fantasies that would be absolutely immoral and illegal to carry out, no worries! Jesus got you. Jim Bob might even be stupid enough to believe that he's actually serving God by being a misogynistic, money-obsessed famewhore who is sexually obsessed with his own daughters, I don't know. But Gothard and the leadership know exactly what's going on, and deliberately ingratiate themselves to politicians and local authorities so they can carry on unchecked. 

[ariel]

14 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

They're in TN. Shocked, I'm sure.

Sadly there is no shock form me. ;)

[Fuzzysox]

1 hour ago, floridamom said:

I'm horrified by that "Pearls Guy".  He looks like such a creep.

I completely agree and fear for those girl's lives. He looks like a creepy molester all in the name of the bible kinda creep.

I don't understand why Jill would leave her girls with him? I lost sleep over it after seeing the pictures. Those girls are way too naive to be left in his hands. 

[Minivanessa]

Stuff on the internet never dies. The Duggars and Pearls have cross-promoted each others' books. Just saying.

[RazzleberryPie]

1 hour ago, Fuzzysox said:

I completely agree and fear for those girl's lives. He looks like a creepy molester all in the name of the bible kinda creep.

I don't understand why Jill would leave her girls with him? I lost sleep over it after seeing the pictures. Those girls are way too naive to be left in his hands. 

Who still lives in the house with the Pearls? Guarantee this guy will play these girls and any other female in the house, including his wife, off of each other, simply for his own entertainment. They'll all be tripping over themselves trying to meet his standards, which will never happen. No way in hell would I leave any person, especially impressionable teen girls who are trying their best to be over pleasing and land a husband, anywhere near this Devil.

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

32 minutes ago, RazzleberryPie said:

Who still lives in the house with the Pearls? Guarantee this guy will play these girls and any other female in the house, including his wife, off of each other, simply for his own entertainment. They'll all be tripping over themselves trying to meet his standards, which will never happen. No way in hell would I leave any person, especially impressionable teen girls who are trying their best to be over pleasing and land a husband, anywhere near this Devil.

Why did Jill send these girls there for the summer? What did she say as her reasoning? This is soooo weird. 

Seriously, girls - if you somehow get the Internet and see this, message me. I have a spare bedroom and I'll figure out how to get you. (Well, ok, maybe only the one who is 18 cause I don't want to "kidnap" anyone, but I'll still try to help the other one.)

I hope the girls at least get to eat more there. Also, Mrs. Pearl should really be in any pics that these girls take with her husband. The two girls with an elderly couple they're visiting is kinda sweet. The two girls with that scary man....is not good optics for the Pearls or the Rod parents. But of course, they lack total self-awareness and the old man probably loves posing for pictures with these young girls. BARFFFFFF

Edited June 27, 2017 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[xwordfanatik]

8 hours ago, Albanyguy said:

Even worse, his now-grown children publicly defend his methods and talk about how grateful they are for the "training" they received at his hands. They must have been utterly and completely beaten into submission, still terrified of risking Daddy's displeasure. And now he has grandchildren whose "training" he can supervise.

That is truly horrifying.  Beyond words, actually.

[Portia]

The photo of the Rod girls and Old Man Pearl reminds me of Elizabeth Smart and her grizzled captor.  ::shudder::

Edited June 28, 2017 by Portia
Typos

[Scarlett45]

21 hours ago, queenanne said:

It is kind of surprising that some fundie female hasn't realized that it's likely with any sort of clever management skills, she could make a very malleable and pliant husband out of JD.   Maybe it takes one of the older singletons.

In this culture men have to be the one to make the first move. In a rare instance if a woman was REALLY SUPER INTERESTED in JD, I suppose she could have her father talk to Jim Bob and Jim Bob would approach JD with the idea and he would then ask the young lady to court. I think it's that JD hasnt been interested in marrying. 

[RazzleberryPie]

4 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

In this culture men have to be the one to make the first move. In a rare instance if a woman was REALLY SUPER INTERESTED in JD, I suppose she could have her father talk to Jim Bob and Jim Bob would approach JD with the idea and he would then ask the young lady to court. I think it's that JD hasnt been interested in marrying. 

They say the men have to make the first move, but in truth it's always the women putting it out there first, or scheming with the mothers and married sisters. The guys just think they're the initiators. 

[Scarlett45]

2 hours ago, RazzleberryPie said:

They say the men have to make the first move, but in truth it's always the women putting it out there first, or scheming with the mothers and married sisters. The guys just think they're the initiators. 

Fair point but the guy has to at least be receptive. If Jessa and Jinger KNOW JD doesn't want to be married (Jill is too dimwitted/ selfish to help anyone and Joy too dim) then no Duggar women will make arrangements for him or relay messages. 

 

Like in the case with Jinger and Jessa, they were actually friends (as well as sisters), Jessa knew her tastes and help get her together with Jeremy. JD might go for someone if Jana suggests it but I don't think so. 

[ozziemom]

They need Erin Bates Paine to match make!

[Lunera]

http://wtffundiefamilies.tumblr.com/post/162289671705/duggars-and-pearls

Interesting post about the Pearls teachings and and why Jill believes Izzy is evil and manipulative.

[Arwen Evenstar]

Whenever I think of JRod pushing Plexus, I have an AbFab flashback.

[Sew Sumi]

Oh lordy, they made me LMAO. As with everything else with AbFab, it was just so WRONG in the right way.

[MunichNark]

That Pearl fella is just evil. Utterly utterly evil. I couldn't resist reading and now I can't unread. Or unsee.

Sending those two girls is like leading lambs to the slaughter. I hope they'll be alright, at least get something to eat for a change.

They really are being sold off, aren't they?

[louannems]

15 hours ago, Jeeves said:

Stuff on the internet never dies. The Duggars and Pearls have cross-promoted each others' books. Just saying.

After reading through the link, I found this letter of a mom to her (dead) daughter.  She deeply regretted following all the endless rules and regulations of Gothard.

http://thewartburgwatch.com/2013/05/10/a-mom-shares-her-regrets-about-following-bill-gothard/

[Arwen Evenstar]

52 minutes ago, louannems said:

After reading through the link, I found this letter of a mom to her (dead) daughter.  She deeply regretted following all the endless rules and regulations of Gothard.

http://thewartburgwatch.com/2013/05/10/a-mom-shares-her-regrets-about-following-bill-gothard/

Excellent, thanks for sharing.  For those of us who struggled with or suffered under legalism, and realizing you could still be a good Christian without all of that. It really struck a cord.  Went to a non d Christian school for a few years, which my parents and I later learned was leaning further and farther IFB when the new pastor came to town.  Once they saw it was messing with my head, they realized they needed to pull me and my siblings out and put us in public school.  Being the eldest, I understood more of what was going on. My  parents were Church of England/Episcopalian who had limited choices for private schools where we lived and they thought we'd do better at private school.  They didn't agree with the Fundy bullshit, which caus ed us not to really fit in, but since we were good students, we got away with not being punished since they knew our parents' feelings on certain matters.  Dress and hair codes were enforced still. 

[queenanne]

1 hour ago, louannems said:

After reading through the link, I found this letter of a mom to her (dead) daughter.  She deeply regretted following all the endless rules and regulations of Gothard.

http://thewartburgwatch.com/2013/05/10/a-mom-shares-her-regrets-about-following-bill-gothard/

Wow, that lady's really pulling back the curtain.  She's making it sound as culty as Scientology or Kabbalah.

[Marigold]

On 6/26/2017 at 10:13 PM, RazzleberryPie said:

Depends on how closely they're following ATI/Gothard BS, which says that adoption can be bad, because cursed children carry the sins of their fathers.

They go beyond meaning drug addicted mothers can cause their babies to have issues, or mental illness can be inherited. They literally mean sinful parents can have generational curses that also carry on through several generations. Which is the exact opposite of Christ's command to take care of widows and ORPHANS.

Oh yes, many believe in a generational curse. I always wondered if Jim thinks Josh has the curse from his own father.

I specifically was wondering if an adoption agency would give Michael and her husband a baby.  This Gothard shit has been exposed lately with Bill Gothard being a rapist/perv/pedophile.  The Bates have openly endorsed ATI and Kelly spoke at the recent conference.  Wouldn't that raise red flags?  Even a regular Christian adoption agency might really balk at approving this family for an adoption.  I have not adopted but I know that the process can be very detailed. How the hell is Michael going to pass all their questions with such fringe and extreme Christian beliefs?  Who would hand them a baby? I really don't understand this.