The Great Wife Swap of 2014: The Dark Wife Rises

[purpleflowers]

There is certainly an element of constant chaos with this group, which didn't seem to be there when the show first aired- can't say that is entirely to be blamed on Robyn, it was probably there as an undercurrent but not so evident on the surface back then- the sense of everything being strung together with silly string.

I get this sense too. Silly string, what a great way of describing it. I got the feeling that for a handful of years right before Robyn entered the scene, they had found a relatively stable family dynamic finally after several years of adjusting, drama, etc. That's the sense I got after I read certain parts of their book. And then throw in wife #4, the "fleeing" from Utah, and the show, and it was kind of a perfect storm for throwing them off base again. That's what I felt sad about. Granted, at the beginning of the show they were probably trying to come across all nice and harmonious for the cameras, but still it seems like they had finally gotten to a healthy place and then things went haywire. I agree that the blame can't be placed on Robyn--she didn't set out to shake things up--but it makes one wonder what kind of family they would have looked like today if none of that had happened.

 

Regarding the wife swap, I've come to the conclusion that no explanation they have for it is going to make it seem acceptable.

Edited February 13, 2015 by purpleflowers

[WalrusGirl]

Meri would have the easiest time leaving as she'd only have to support herself and Mariah ... Meri would most likely have to give up the house and get a smaller place with one or two bedrooms (and probably no wet bar).

Their convoluted financial situation would make it difficult for any of the women to just leave. If Meri left she'd still have the big house (for a while), but Kodys name is on the paperwork too. Would one try to buy the other out, or would they both walk away and take the hit on their already crappy credit reports? Would Kody move into Meri's house and bring Robyn with him, and they could rent out Robyn's house? Or both live in Robyn's house and rent out Meri's house?

Eh, I'd think that if anyone left they'd want to "lose the big house" and move anyway, especially Meri (who'd quite possibly want to move closer to Mariah). She doesn't have kids at home to make keeping them near their siblings a motivating factor (like J&C might); Mariah could easily visit the family on her own, and the siblings she's closest to all have their own places by now anyway.

If Meri did leave, the disposition of the house would be determined during the divorce process - sometimes one owner buys the other out (unlikely either could), sometimes the house has to be maintained by one and sold by X years down the line with the eventual profit split determined by in the divorce settlement, and sometimes they just have to up and sell. I'd think that that's most likely what would happen in this case - it's not like Kody would want or need the fourth house unless they were eying another wife at some point down the line.

I believe it was something along the lines of don't believe anything until it's actually happening.

Yeah, that's how the older kids put it when the parents were in the process of trying to get the properties on the cul-de-sac. One - maybe Logan? - said it, and the others all agreed. Janelle and, I think, Meri also seemed aware that the kids felt that way, and seemed to understand where they were coming from.

[3girlsforus]

If Meri did leave, the disposition of the house would be determined during the divorce process - sometimes one owner buys the other out (unlikely either could), sometimes the house has to be maintained by one and sold by X years down the line with the eventual profit split determined by in the divorce settlement, and sometimes they just have to up and sell. I'd think that that's most likely what would happen in this case - it's not like Kody would want or need the fourth house unless they were eying another wife at some point down the line.

Makes you wonder how the set up the house split in the divorce. They may be claiming it's just a "restructuring" but the law would have required them to account for the house and have an agreement on the settlement of the assets.

[Granny58]

The synopsis of an upcoming episode says (a) the family is worried about the fallout from the anthropology students and (b) Meri goes to a lawyer (not verbatim).  So my 2 cents are....Robyn and Kody ginned up terror that THE STATE (boogeyman) will take away Robyn's kids if they don't get married.  Meri, somehow still in love with him and the idea of polygamy, falls on the sword and takes one for the team...not realizing she's been played and lost the ONLY foothold she had in this circus.  Let's see if this scenario comes to fruition.  

[Kellyee]

 

Meri, somehow still in love with him and the idea of polygamy, falls on the sword and takes one for the team...not realizing she's been played and lost the ONLY foothold she had in this circus.  Let's see if this scenario comes to fruition.

 

I thought this too at first, but now I have an even darker theory. I think Meri and Robyn planned this together, to bond them together and to have something over Christine and Janelle. Meri and Robyn are buddy-buddy, and I could totally see them wanting to be the "legal" wives. Meri pushed for Robyn to be in the family in the first place because she wanted someone on her side against Christine and Janelle.

[MarysWetBar]

Honestly, I just don't get how Meri needed anyone to "gang up" on Christine and Janelle. If i was a halloween candy stealing thug, I would go for Christine and Janelles lil orange plastic pumpkins first! Lol Those two would need a cattle prod to jolt them awake to what is happening around them. And they are the two i like best! But they are so out of sneaky Meri and stealth Robyns league. No contest at all.

Edited February 13, 2015 by MarysWetBar

[GleamingMist]

Regarding the wife swap, I've come to the conclusion that no explanation they have for it is going to make it seem acceptable.

 

Agreed.  I'm curious to see how they try to spin it but to me it's nothing more than Robyn getting what she always wanted.

[Jellybeans]

I wonder if Robyn's kids have already been adopted by Kodypocks.

[SometimesBites]

Makes you wonder how the set up the house split in the divorce. They may be claiming it's just a "restructuring" but the law would have required them to account for the house and have an agreement on the settlement of the assets.

Though they typically would list assets and liabilities (and in an uncontested, no-fault quickie Nevada divorce they may not even have to do that), there's nothing in the law that would require them to change anything at all about how they hold the house. When it comes to splitting the sheets, divorcing couples can agree to pretty much anything, and if it's mutually acceptable, the court doesn't care.

Edited February 13, 2015 by SometimesBites

[Cara]

I wonder if Robyn's kids have already been adopted by Kodypocks.

In order for Kody to adopt her kids Robyn' s ex-husband would have to give up his parental rights. Last we heard he was he was still involved in their lives. So I doubt he'd be willing to do that.

[Jellybeans]

In order for Kody to adopt her kids Robyn' s ex-husband would have to give up his parental rights. Last we heard he was he was still involved in their lives. So I doubt he'd be willing to do that.

True, but he may have done just that for some reason we do not privy to. He certainly has not objected to Robyn's trashing him on TV. He may be a jerk. We don't know.

[Rhondinella]

"Kobyn"

 

 

I forgot who upthread coined this but, like, thanks.  I'll never unsee that.

[BlackWidow]

I forgot who upthread coined this but, like, thanks.  I'll never unsee that.

  

 

      You're welcome. It does have a sickly ring to it, doesn't it though? Like a cootie that gets passed around in preschool-  'oh Vespalyn can't make it to playgroup, she's got Kobyn AGAIN'.

[AndreaF]

I don't know where to put this comment... is there a "Deep, Dark Brown Secrets" thread?  :)

 

After reading up on the Brown's genetic (and other) relationships to the AUB, FLDS, etc, which are chock full of OMG moments, I noticed that the propensity for underage wives is a common thread.  Obviously, right?

 

It reminded me... Didn't Kody try to court someone underage before Robyn?  I know that I read something about it, maybe on the old SW blog, but I can't find it after a couple of cursory searches.  I admit that I didn't spend hours looking for it, but does anyone remember what the deal was with this?  It seems like it got swept under the rug? 

[Galloway Cave]

Kody and Meri "dated" a 17 year old girl and were supposed to marry her. Meri was really, really into her. The girl backed out at the last minute. Then Kody and Janelle went into negotiations. The rest is Brown Family history.

[AndreaF]

Thank you, Galloway!  I forgot that it was way back before Janelle and thought that it was more recent. 

 

 

The rest is Brown Family history.

What we really know about it, anyway...  which is probably 1/32 of the truth, at best!

[Galloway Cave]

I think there was some family justification of the underage part by saying that Kody and Meri were in their early twenties when they dated the girl, so the age difference wasn't that huge and it wasn't that big a deal. Kind of like the divorce now....

[SometimesBites]

Yes, and IIRC, the girl would be 18 when they "married." I also recall that the kibosh was put on that union by the AUB due to Kody's financial instability?

[Galloway Cave]

The AUB initially put the kibosh on Kody marrying Robyn because of the family finances. But when he presented them with the TV show and potential income, they agreed. But, the family had to agree not to discuss the AUB by name or practices. Which was really weird; the Browns had long been activists by that point, especially Christine, and their name was all kinds of tangled up with that church.

[BlackWidow]

 I could be wrong, but isn't the deal with many of those kind of churches that everyone kicks in part of their income? Not just tithing but beyond that? So if that is the case, wouldn't whatever church be all psyched about tlc money coming in? Or maybe that would be a reason to leave the church for some, to get out of that deal? Someone here must know this. Oh and happy valentine's day, chocolate should be multiplied, not divided. lol

[AndreaF]

 I could be wrong, but isn't the deal with many of those kind of churches that everyone kicks in part of their income? Not just tithing but beyond that? So if that is the case, wouldn't whatever church be all psyched about tlc money coming in? Or maybe that would be a reason to leave the church for some, to get out of that deal?

I think most of it (especially the welfare/food stamp income) goes to the church in many cases... and then the church distributes the money as it sees fit.  I'm pretty sure that's how Warren Jeffs decreed the bean only diet from prison, and how some of the AUB/FLDS/etc church leaders are so wealthy/powerful.  I would think that they would be ecstatic about tv money...

 

 

 Oh and happy valentine's day, chocolate should be multiplied, not divided. lol

AGREED!  Hahaha!  :)

Edited February 14, 2015 by AndreaF

[mbutterfly]

It is interesting to me, and new, that the AUB made determination about whether the Browns could afford an additional wife. Does anyone know whether the AUB weighs in on numbers of children, amount of property purchased (amount of debt)? And who, in the AUB makes these decisions for families? TIA, very interesting. 

[ladle]

Oh and happy valentine's day, chocolate should be multiplied, not divided. lol

 

 

Wait, doesn't that mean I should be sharing my chocolate with three other people?  I'm so confused!

[AmyFarrahFowler]

New family "mission statement" and another reason to have a dumb ass party. I am totally in. :P 

[corgster]

@ladle

I think the way it works is if you are the sister wife, you get one piece of chocolate but you have to split it with your husband. If you're the husband, you get half of each wife's chocolate, so 4 wives = 2 pieces of chocolate.

See, for the man it's multiplied, for the women it's divided. ;)

[ginger90]

@ladle

I think the way it works is if you are the sister wife, you get one piece of chocolate but you have to split it with your husband. If you're the husband, you get half of each wife's chocolate, so 4 wives = 2 pieces of chocolate.

See, for the man it's multiplied, for the women it's divided. ;)

Exactly!!! It's Kody math.

[BlackWidow]

  Vday cards written by the kodster, chock full o spin

 

(cut to scene of kodster running from house to house, shaking his hair like the golden retriever he is_

 

"omg this is soooo wacky! I don't even know what to get anyone! " ( does obligatory furrowing of brow nervous heh heh laugh , looks off into a galaxy far, far away..) "ok ok focus, where did I put the cards in bulk from the plyg costco ...oh YEAH I remember now!" 

    Cut to kodster going into some corner of Janelle's garage storage- he looks around furtively, but still tossing the hair and doing the laugh that punctuates almost every bs-y statement.

       "Ok this is how this vdays 'personalized' messages are going to read:

 

Meri: "thanks for being my best friend, through thick and thin.....thanks for being there from the beginning of all this madness babe"    (doesn't get that 'best friend' not only is not really sexy or romantic-  it sounds creepily like 'man's best friend'- you know, kind of like that 'fidelis' charm thingee, calling to mind 'Semper Fi' , Marines and St Bernards. SMH) sticks card on top of 'free casino dinner and show ' coupon

 

Janelle:  "Happy Valentines ! I'm so proud of you!" (totally doesn't get that weight references=not cool) . Sticks on top of some kind of aspartame-laden costco diabetic chocolates. Draws a smiley face on the box.

 

Christine: writes " our secret: I'm so glad you never had anyone but me babe, but you'd never know it by how wild and crazy you are!"  sticks on to 50 shades book and bookmarks it with a red licorice vine. ( he totally doesn't get 50 shades book is kind of lame, and Christine hates red licorice)

 

Robyn: writes: "our secret: I'm secretly glad you weren't so innocent before me. There was never any ick factor- you even make sloppy seconds seem so ladylike though, soul mate!"  sticks it on cheesy knockoff victoria's secret lingerie in a size that doesn't fit her now or go with the attempt at 'ombre/brownde'  new hair.

 

 Yayyyyyyyyy.

[spidermiss2426]

So am I the only one who wants the divorce to really be about Meri and Christine want to run away together and be the married lesbian couple they always wanted to be since Christine married Kody?  I also want Jenelle to dye her hair brown and go back in time to become Molly Brown (the unsinkable Molly Brown) on the Titanic.

[Oldernowiser]

So am I the only one who wants the divorce to really be about Meri and Christine want to run away together and be the married lesbian couple they always wanted to be since Christine married Kody?  I also want Jenelle to dye her hair brown and go back in time to become Molly Brown (the unsinkable Molly Brown) on the Titanic.

Nope. It's been my hope for a very long time, not least because it would kick Kody's ego in the worst possible way.

[BradandJanet]

I can hardly watch this mess, but a few minutes of Kody Brown on my TV reaffirms how much I loathe this narcissistic, sleazy, beady-eyed, manipulative creep.

Whew. OK. Back to Usual Suspects on the ID channel.

Edited February 16, 2015 by BradandJanet

[RazzleberryPie]

@ladle

I think the way it works is if you are the sister wife, you get one piece of chocolate but you have to split it with your husband. If you're the husband, you get half of each wife's chocolate, so 4 wives = 2 pieces of chocolate.

See, for the man it's multiplied, for the women it's divided. ;)

I'll be Wife #5, so first I'll act terrified that the police will show up and take all of the chocolate, so while everyone is freaking out, I'm going to sneak ahead of the other wives, poke my fingers in the bottom to see what I want first, then when everyone's together, I'll piously sacrifice my own needs to allow them to choose first. Then I'll feed the Husband a piece from my mouth and snicker. 

 

Keeping on topic: They'll never make me believe this is all Meri's idea and Robyn is surprised. Robyn could barely keep the grin off her face. Either she totally knew, or she was immediately figuring out how to jockey into legal status. I though smoke would come out of her ears.

[MarysWetBar]

I can hardly watch this mess, but a few minutes of Kody Brown on my TV reaffirms how much I loathe this narcissist, sleazy, beady-eyed, manipulative creep.

Whew. OK. Back to Usual Suspects on the ID channel.

Well according to darger, we are vampires..lmao Edited February 16, 2015 by MarysWetBar

[islandgal140]

Oh and happy valentine's day, chocolate should be multiplied, not divided. lol

I'm gonna restructure my chocolate. Instead of having dark chocolate, truffle filled, marshallow filled followed by milk chocolate, I am going to switch the position of dark chocolate and put that at the end and put milk chocolate first.

[Toaster Strudel]

Is it true that the scenes with Meri going to a lawyer were shot on Feb 2, as a mad scramble because the divorce had been uncovered?

[Betweenyouandme]

At the end of the All About Meri episode she said things are going to need to change soon because of her discord with the adults. That didn't sound like evidence to help Robyn's kids to me.

[Kohola3]

Well, in the 5 minutes I could tolerate to watch (after Downton Abbey was finished) Meri said that she had been thinking about a divorce for 5 years, since Sobbin jumped into the cesspool.  So what changed to push her over the edge?  Oh, wait, there is that pesky ratings slump....

[Cherrio]

Well, in the 5 minutes I could tolerate to watch (after Downton Abbey was finished) Meri said that she had been thinking about a divorce for 5 years, since Sobbin jumped into the cesspool.  So what changed to push her over the edge?  Oh, wait, there is that pesky ratings slump....

She will do ANYTHING to keep the wet bar.

[Jellybeans]

I really hope Meri is done, done, done, with this family. AND, that Christine's mother moving in was part of the plot to help Christine during a trying time.

A great finale would be Meri, Christine and Christine's mom making their escape (not necessarily together) and TLC gives them a show. I would so plug in.

[RazzleberryPie]

Well, in the 5 minutes I could tolerate to watch (after Downton Abbey was finished) Meri said that she had been thinking about a divorce for 5 years, since Sobbin jumped into the cesspool.  So what changed to push her over the edge?  Oh, wait, there is that pesky ratings slump....

I think she underestimated Robyn's stealth manipulation skills and can't handle not getting her way all of the time (she absolutely did not want to do the Sister Wives closet thing, raise Robyn's surrogate baby or take care of her other kids while Robyn and Kody vacationed), loves Kody but sees how quickly he replaced her, knows Mariah is mature enough to handle a split, and doesn't give a rat's ass about Janelle or Christine's feelings, or being involved in their kids' lives. It would not surprise me if she found another polyg man to marry and is ready to leave Kody.

 

At the end of the All About Meri episode she said things are going to need to change soon because of her discord with the adults. That didn't sound like evidence to help Robyn's kids to me.

I think they're all attentive moms, but no matter what they say about loving all the kids equally, etc., they're all out for grabbing what they can for their own kids and then throwing scraps to the other wives' kids. Meri's one is raised, so she doesn't have to deal with the others, Janelle would probably be the most fair to all of them, but has a handful dealing with a bunch of teen boys.

 

Christine and Robyn grew up in polygamy and know more than the rest of them that you have to scrap for your scraps and that no matter what they say, the scraps are not divided evenly. It's human nature that when resources (emotional, financial, physical) are scarce, you fend for your own offspring and then help others. Christine resents Robyn and her kids (I don't blame her) and the extra attention they receive. Robyn is terrified Christine will be mean to her kids, and I wouldn't put it past Christine to be hateful to them. If Robyn weren't so damn sneaky and conceited, she'd have no reason to fear the other women not liking her, but she's all out for herself. 

 

So back to Meri divorcing - without a doubt, I think this is her final SCREW YOU to Janelle and Christine and Kody's biological children. Meri divorces Kody and can either ride off into the sunset or stay. We'll find out if she or someone else suggests Kody skips over Janelle and Christine to legally marry Robyn. Either way, she gets to help facilitate Kody skipping over the two breeders who she was jealous of, and who she felt teamed against for years. If she leaves, she also gets in a SCREW YOU to Robyn, because she leaves Robyn with the mess of Sister Wives' closet and no allies. Janelle won't quarrel, but will take care of her own, and I'm just waiting for Christine to snap and either murder Kody and Robyn or write a tell all book.

[Kellyee]

I just read another article saying that this Wife Swap is about Kody being able to provide Robyn's kids with healthcare. But that makes no sense, because Kody has no job that we know of. And if this is the reason, how are Janelle and Christine's kids getting heatlh insurance? We know for sure that Christine has no job at all.

 

And there's no way Janelle and Christine are fine with all this unless they're heavily medicated. Your "spiritual" husband divorces his legal first wife, then skips you and legally marries his 4th wife. Then he takes HER on a second honeymoon to Hawaii. Without you. I don't know any human alive who would be fine with that unless they wanted out of the marriage anyway. I think Christine's "PMS" is all about her emotional turmoil because of her crappy marriage. I think Janelle is checked out because her marriage sucks. And I think Maddie is depressed and seeking religion because she sees what her mother puts up with, and she's looking for another way to live.

[Misslindsey]

 

And there's no way Janelle and Christine are fine with all this unless they're heavily medicated. Your "spiritual" husband divorces his legal first wife, then skips you and legally marries his 4th wife. Then he takes HER on a second honeymoon to Hawaii. Without you. I don't know any human alive who would be fine with that unless they wanted out of the marriage anyway. I think Christine's "PMS" is all about her emotional turmoil because of her crappy marriage. I think Janelle is checked out because her marriage sucks.

I agree. I do not think Janelle or Christine are fine with it. Hell, I do not even think Meri is fine with it. She looked upset when she spent ten seconds talking to the camera about it, but they will all pretend to be fine with it. They will pretend it was for the good of the family, but I highly doubt it was. The only explanation I will accept is that Meri actually wanted out of the family, but wasn't Meri spotted out with Kody after the news broke? I will not buy that Meri wanted a divorce, but wants to be spiritually tied to Kody like Janelle and Christine are, and Robyn was. It does not make sense. 

[gunderda]

I think if Meri were truly miserable and wanted to get out we would see it in their TH's during the episodes.  These are usually filmed after they do all of the filming so at that point the divorce would have been done and over with.  For the most part they all look pretty happy during their interview sessions. 

[CousinOliver]

I have so much to say about this, but it's probably just summarized by this: Sister Wives is cancelled from my DVR and the four unwatched episodes have been deleted.  Good riddance, Browns.

[RazzleberryPie]

I just read another article saying that this Wife Swap is about Kody being able to provide Robyn's kids with healthcare. But that makes no sense, because Kody has no job that we know of. And if this is the reason, how are Janelle and Christine's kids getting heatlh insurance? We know for sure that Christine has no job at all.

I don't want to repeat myself, but you're right about the healthcare. They all work for TLC/Brown Family Entertainment, LLC whatever and whatever Sister Wives Closet brings in. They have the same employer, and the same options for healthcare, whether it is from TLC, the LLC company buying it independently or on the Obamacare exchange. It wouldn't matter if they get insurance from Kody or one of the 'Wives,' because they're all paid by the same source.

 

Also, in regards to Robyn's kids, Solomon is biologically Kody's so if for some reason Robyn didn't have insurance, Sol would still fall under Kody. Robyn not having insurance bc she isn't a legal wife so they need to make it legal, also makes no sense because then wouldn't Janelle and Christine both need insurance for their kids, because they're not legal. They both have more kids than Robyn AND their kids are Kody's biological children. Kody should insure his own damn kids that he brought into this world before he worries about step children who have an active father.

 

This brings us to Robyn's three from her first marriage: if for whatever reason they don't fall under Robyn's own insurance, they have a father. Pretty sure he's employed and active in their lives. If for whatever reason he doesn't have insurance, it still makes zero sense that Robyn and Kody, who have the same employer, couldn't cover those kids on Robyn. 

 

We've never heard any indication that Robyn's husband has done anything to not allow him to be a part of his kids lives or that he does not want to support them.

[3girlsforus]

The healthcare reason is definitely crap but seems to be the one they are going with. Three articles I've seen today all say that is the reason the Browns have given them. Aside from the fact that we all know the kids could get healthcare without the "restructuring", if they really were only concerned about healthcare this would have been done back when Robyn came to the family. Instead they went for 5 years as it was and now claim it's all about healthcare. BS... definite BS.

[Taylorh2]

Okay, so now that Kody is legally married to Robin, does that make her wife # 1? Or is Meri still # 1 ? 

 

What's the new 'pecking order ?

[RazzleberryPie]

Okay, so now that Kody is legally married to Robin, does that make her wife # 1? Or is Meri still # 1 ? 

 

What's the new 'pecking order ?

Kody's still the biggest hen, but if one of them is a Chickenhead, my money's on Robyn.

[Taylorh2]

Okay, so if Robin is moved into the #1 spot, does that mean that she gets the biggest (Meri's) house ?

 

So many questions.

[purpleflowers]

So here's my new tentative theory. Meri said at the end of yesterday's episode that she is doing this out of some "strange, weird thought process". She said she has been thinking about it for five years since about the time Robyn joined the Browns. From the very limited information they have given us thus far on the show, I'm going to guess that Meri feels (or will claim she feels) that someone else should have to chance to experience being legal wife (although I don't know how she'll explain that because they're all supposedly equally married regardless of legal standing), and since she bonded with Robyn the most, her first pick to experience it next is her. What the real story is, who knows and we may never know. But I feel this may be their spin. 

Edited February 16, 2015 by purpleflowers

[Kohola3]

Meri said at the end of yesterday's episode that she is doing this out of some "strange, weird thought process"

 

And for someone who tolerates sexual slavery so that she can spin on some alleged celestial planet worshiping an asshole for all eternity, the strange weird thought process is different......how?