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S07.E12: Beauties In The Fast Lane


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I've never watched any of the Duggar family shows so I didn't know someone else out there in reality TV land was doing family chart planning together. Do the kids line up outside Mom and Dad's door, fingers crossed that tonight's the night?

I am enjoying seeing Phaedra's mother, who is such a stark contrast to MJ. Speaking of the old bat, it's been nice that she's been out of the picture. That said, I'm sure she's hanging upside down from a rafter somewhere, waiting to swoop in.

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I am from the South and remember loving Chick Fil A.  As a child I won a drawing contest there. 

 

When I visit my family I get excited to go there but I really cannot stand the salt content. I keep trying to enjoy it again/

 

I don't have this problem with other fast food.

 

Really? See, I've always thought Chik-Fil-A was too sweet, so I when I stopped eating it I never went back. 

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Gregg is officially the biggest sycophant in RH history. He's going to build Nene a float? Because she acted like a bitch and showed her ass in Puerto Rico? Damn, what would he do if she murdered someone? 

 

I felt really REALLY uncomfortable watching Todd being given instructions and shown to the mastabutory room. I don't have a problem seeing a brief visit to a fertility specialist, but do we need to go that in depth? Yikes. 

 

Is Riley really only 11??? Dang, that kid looks at least 14. I don't blame her, or Kayla, for not wanting to hang out. That age gap might not be a big deal down the road, but at 18 I certainly did not want to hang out with an 11-year-old. And these two barely know each other! Maybe instead of Kandi and Todd expecting them to just organically hang out, they should orchestrate more family events where all FOUR of them hang out?

 

Sports One. Blah. I laughed so hard when Peter sauntered in there, whistled, and began giving orders. All the staff were looking at each other like, "Who the fuck is this dude?"   Pretty shitty that Cynthia showed up so damn late, but since it was Peter's event I can't be arsed to care. 

 

The entire thing with Kordell is just weird. It's certainly feasible that he and Claudia already knew each other and go back a long time. I don't have a problem with that. But it just seems weird that right after he and Porsha split and is on bad terms with the girls in question, he and Claudia are all of a sudden making eyes at each other. Kenya and Peter both seemed to be really pushing it, and it came off really weird. Peter, especially, since he couldn't stop talking about how cute Claudia was. How Cynthia puts up with his ass is beyond me. 

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Contract was clearly fake. Not only was clearly a photo copy, the document she burned didn't have a line for the date whereas the original document did.

 

Why did Dr. Jackie have an option of a test tube for semen collection? That was silly.

 .

I didn't get a good look at what she burned in the sink b/c I was still trying to process why she still had it.

Did anyone else get the impression the doctor at the masturbatorium was throwing shade at Todd the entire time, the most obvious example being offering the eyedropper (forgot the scientific word for those) for his semen?

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I don't know....and please don't hate me.....but I was laughing out loud at the ladies road trip. That is exactly how my friends and I are when we go someplace that requires that much driving. We act crazy and have stories to tell when we get home.

 

I won't hate you, because I had a big, ol smile on my face myself. Ego and lying and mean-spiritedness aside, Kenya reminds me a lot of myself. I'm really goofy and when I get together with my sisters or my girlfriends, my goofy level goes through the roof. I just really like to be silly and laugh and not care what anyone thinks. It looked like they were having a damn good time. 

 

I was like "wow" when Kandi said in her talking head that she felt like taking the car back.  Basically because Todd did not do cartwheels when the car showed up.  That was messed up.

 

I know! Has she never heard of being stunned speechless? And somehow I doubt Ms. Riley jumps up and down and squeeeees with delight every time Kandi buys HER something expensive. 

 

Awwww Apollo, why did you have to go and F**k up your life and the life of your gorgeous boys? I could weep for those innocent kids.

 

I could barely even watch those scenes. Those boys are so precious (Ayden kissing Dylan? DIE. ) and do not deserve this shit. And I feel like Apollo was using them in those scenes to garner sympathy. It just made me feel all kinds of icky. 

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Ok maybe I missed it but why is Peter opening a bar in NC?  How can he manage it from Atlanta?

 

And count me in as finding the road trip funny.  Ok the mooning thing was over the top but Kenya was all kind of silly.  And all three were totally unconcerned about being late for Peter's Bar One opening.  Well, Cynthia finally got the message Peter was pissed and hightailed it over there.  And I doubt anyone was waiting 4 hours to meet/see Cynthia.  Parties like that are better later in the evening than at the get go.  But it really seemed like the girls were having fun which is more than I can say for Nene and going on a road trip with her.  She would be judging and criticizing everything they did.  Then giving her man servant........er I mean her husband her spin on the evening.

 

Speaking of Nene I don't see the love between her and Gregg.  That kiss in the parking garage was very much in the friend zone. 

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I also enjoyed this episode, especially since they didn't show Nene and Greg after the first break.  I can't with those two...two many damn delusions going on.

 

I thought the road trip looked fun.  Say what you will about Kenya, but she always seems to be the one to bring the silly or encourage people to enjoy the trips, like when she drove the boat in Anguilla or tried to get people to swim in the cave wherever they were last season.  

 

Did Kenya actually hang up the phone on Phaedra?  I went to get water and didn't care to rewind.  

 

I don't find Kordell attractive at all.  

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I didn't care about Claudia/Kordell, it was the cackling from Kenya that was ignorant. And funny how Peter and Kordell are so cozy, $$$$$$$ in Peter's pocket! LOL

She can not stop talking about Nene and their former friendship! She smells desperate IMO.

Yes, Kenya is so fake. That's the problem for me.

I'd be fine with the fun girls road trip. If I thought it was genuinely fun. Hell, It might be, but Kenya brings such fakeness to he scenes.

Edited by imjagain
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Once again, the whole damn URL changes when the recaps are posted and I get an error message. Glad I saved my post this time.

 

Cynthia and Mallory think it's so odd that Nene is now friends with Porsha and Phaedra, but to me it's no more odd than Cynthia being bffs with Kenya.  Cynthia, remember "Coochie crack; coochie crack!"  Plus your bff Kenya is the one that kept saying you were wedged up Nene's ass.

 

Both Cynthia and Kenya have said in interviews that after Kenya apologized about coochiecrackgate they've built a friendship (which does not necessarily mean 'bffs') and they've had no major problems since. As for Kenya's comment, both Cynthia and Kenya have taken friendly ribbings at one another.

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Cynthia and Kenya had a problem at the time with coochie crack. It was not ongoing and they made up. Kenya was a judge at Cynthia's beauty pageant and the one who convinced Nene to go to the ball. Cynthia's ongoing friendliness/being cordial to Kenya is the real reason Nene stopped being friends with her.

 

Not quite.  Cynthia hurt her and continues to do so without seeming to care at all.  Certainly Nene also has things to answer for as well, but I wouldn't say the reason Nene doesn't wanna be friends with Cynthia is because of Cynthia's friendship with Kenya.  To me, that's making a very complicated issue between the two friends very black and white and it's so not.

It's also giving Kenya way more credit than she deserves.

 

I didn't have any issues with the road trip.  I've done far worse than mooning people on some that I have taken.  

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Did Kenya actually hang up the phone on Phaedra?

 

Yes, and I howled! She reached up and hit the end button on Cynthia's iPhone and Cynthia was "What did you just do? Did you just hang up on her?" I think it was because Phaedra said she forgot she had a dentist appointment, and well, uh, ummm.... her excuses as to why she wasn't joining them were just done and gone so Kenya did what I would have done. Hung up. LOL!!

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I haven't read Claudia's thread but I can't help but find her funny.  She's quick.  Almost no HW on any show is quick.  She cracked me up THing about getting styled: "Am I embarrassing to the crew?  I would hope not."  She looked slamming in that black dress.

 

 

I'm surprised Claudia wanted to talk to Kordell considering she thinks darker skinned black people are all "teeth and eyes" her quote, not mine.

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Not quite.  Cynthia hurt her and continues to do so without seeming to care at all.

 

Like when Nene said Noelle was jumping aboard the Ho Train or when she called Cynthia's husband a name?

 

I'm trying to figure out how Cynthia is continuing to hurt Nene without a care in the world, when Nene is the one continuing to insult and dis Cynthia during filming and THs.

 

The breakdown between Nene and Cynthia happened in/around the time Nene announced that Noelle was a ho in training.  Cynthia was just too slow to see that.

 

And Cynthia is still slow to think she and Nene could still be BFFs or even cordial, after seeing how Nene has treated Sheree & Kim.  Keeping friendship contracts and burning them in the nice sink? I guess, but Nene told her several episodes ago that it would be several YEARS before she could trust her enough to be friends with her again, if ever.

 

 

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I thought production was playing with us about the timing with the Peter's bar opening, the day prior to the opening I heard Cynthia tell Kenya that she would see her in the morning and it was only a 3 hour drive to Charlotte...so how did that make them so late to the opening?  Also, it was daylight when they pulled in to the hotel and dark when they got to the bar.

 

For a sports bar I did not see a ton of TV's.  I did laugh when Cynthia said the food looked sexy, chicken fingers sexy? Really?

 

Kordell is business partner's with Peter, did we know that before this episode?

 

I was under the impression that Todd and Kandi were at the doctor's office a little too quick to find out why they were not pregnant yet, usually the doctors let you keep trying for a year at least, (or it was in my day).  How unprofessional of that fertility doctor, 3 different sized containers, talking about Mandingo style, just akward.  Did she even give any advice?

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It's 3-4 hours to Charlotte from Atlanta, depending on traffic. Claudia showed up with a fruit tray, they may have hung out at the house and had breakfast before leaving. Then, they stopped at Chick-Fil-A. And to get gas. Like you, Baltimore Betty, I'm always noticing the time of day when these women are going anywhere. Or having a dinner that starts in the afternoon and lasts well into the night. Timing of getting cameras set, etc., probably added a couple of hours to the trip. And four hours to get dressed and do makeup/hair.

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Timing of getting cameras set, etc., probably added a couple of hours to the trip. And four hours to get dressed and do makeup/hair.

Especially when they are placing cameras inside the Chik-fil-A, which was very odd.  I guess they sponsored this episode?  

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I was under the impression that Todd and Kandi were at the doctor's office a little too quick to find out why they were not pregnant yet, usually the doctors let you keep trying for a year at least, (or it was in my day).

 At Kandi's age, the doctors move it down to 6 months if not sooner. You don't have as much time to work with to determine what the problem is.

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For a sports bar I did not see a ton of TV's.  I did laugh when Cynthia said the food looked sexy, chicken fingers sexy? Really?

 

Kordell is business partner's with Peter, did we know that before this episode?

 

I noticed the same thing when the panned to the bar.  For it to be a sports bar, the first thing I saw was a whole wall that had no TVs.  I was at a restaurant a week ago that added a sports bar.  And they had so many TVs in there (like all down the outer wall) that I didn't bother to count.  If you claim to be a sports bar, plenty of TVs is a prerequisite.  

And I had no idea Kordell was a partner.  However, I did giggle a bit when Peter was talking about Kordell's professional history because he has no ties to Charlotte.  I could see if they were opening a bar in Pittsburgh or Colorado but whatever works for them.

 

Also, I have been following Claudia's career for some years now (one of the reason I even watch this season).  I totally understand what Cynthia is talking about when she referred to Claudia's clothing.  Most of the things she has worn look cheap and poorly made.  It's funny that she asked if she is embarrassing because I'm sure her LA/NYC/Miami friends probably never really said anything to her about her dress.

 

Lastly, as a person who has probably done many things that folks hate or would be disappointed, I will reserve judging people I don't know in such black-and-white terms.  Folks will always disappoint if you are around them long enough.

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If it was an FU to Porsha, it was an FU to Porsha on Kordell's behalf.

 

 

Which is awesome, considering how she tried to throw him under the bus during her Victimgate, including shading his sexuality on the low. The girl is disgusting. 

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Sports One was busy.

 

If it was opening night, the drinks were probably free. 

 

Why would you open a business 3 hours from your home? How can a manager manage from that distance? What happened to the nasty lot next to the funeral home? I'm confused. 

 

I cannot believe that Cynthia kept that friend contract. 

 

Kenya is a loud mouthed bitch. She thinks she's cute and hot, but she isn't either. 

 

When Gregg was kissing Nene's hand, he might as well have been kissing the Masarati they were driving. If it wasn't for Nene's paycheck, Gregg would probably be history. Nene needs him so that she can say she has a huzzbin. 

 

This show is a mess. A messy mess. From Todd whacking off in the dr's office  to Riley charting Kandi's ovulation cycle, I almost cannot bear to watch anymore.

Edited by poeticlicensed
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Claudia reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry is dating the women that looks beautiful or ugly depending on the light.  Claudia is not ugly, but her best face was not shown this episode. 

For me, Kenya is the Seinfeld gf who looked good in certain light, etc. But for me, it's that she looks hideous in all lights & just some of y'all are seeing her in the special pretty light.

 

Also, CFA, my old nemesis. I try & not shop at places whose politics are so opposite of mine, but when it's Peach Milk Shake season, or Chix Tortilla Soup time, I fold like a weak hand of cards :(

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How long do you thing the friendship between Peter and Kordell will last when Sportsbar One closes within a year?

Kordell doesn't seem especially smart, so it will probably be longer than you'd think.

I recall discussing Peter and Kordell's business partnership awhile ago, possibly on TVwoP.

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Does anyone on the forum live in Charlotte?  Is Sports One hopping?  I am guessing Cordell financed it, so he can be on the show to negate any negative stuff Porsha might put out there about him (not realizing that she had been downgraded).  Cordell is probably wealthy enough that if the business fails he can use it as a tax write off, so no big deal.  Peter must be a good salesman though...he sure knows how to get people to part with their money to finance his ventures.

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I was under the impression that Todd and Kandi were at the doctor's office a little too quick to find out why they were not pregnant yet, usually the doctors let you keep trying for a year at least, (or it was in my day).  How unprofessional of that fertility doctor, 3 different sized containers, talking about Mandingo style, just akward.  Did she even give any advice?

 

Kandi told Dr. Jackie that she had been off birth control for a year.

 

She told Kandi:

 

  • Keep at a healthy weight (i.e. lose weight...which is why we saw Kandi in the episode later talking about eating healthy)

 

 

She told Todd:

 

  • Limit the alcohol
  • Wear boxers 
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I was under the impression that Todd and Kandi were at the doctor's office a little too quick to find out why they were not pregnant yet, usually the doctors let you keep trying for a year at least, (or it was in my day).  How unprofessional of that fertility doctor, 3 different sized containers, talking about Mandingo style, just akward.  Did she even give any advice?

 

One of the first comments Kandi made was that she'd been off birth control for a year and....nothing so far.   Her advice to Kandi was to get a better handle on her diet and for Todd to cut down his alcohol consumption.

 

Every time Ayden is on I get something in my eye. He is so bright and IMO is piecing together his dad is going to time out for grown-ups....and all he wanted to do was go with. Poor, sweet boy. :(

 

These children are the probably the reason I can't commit to finding Phaedra a wholly loathsome human being.   The amount of verbal energy and interaction she has invested -- I know, I know, it's her job, I get it, but it's clear from the way this baby comprehends the conversation he's having, how far above and beyond she's gone to do it.  And at the end of the day I just can't hate a chick who does the mom thing like that. 

 

The Way I Knew Chik-Fil-A Was the Shit, by Zaldamo Wilder.   They opened up one about 7 miles from my house.  It's contained in the  center aisle strip of a very busy nutty ass four lane highway with a bunch of other little chain stores.  On the day it opened, Union NJ police had to be called for traffic and crowd control.  People really were acting like that thing was the last chopper out of Saigon and I just don't get 1st day lines for anything.  Will it not be there tomorrow?   Also, I mean it is the shit but I don't know how 3 models spent thirty dollars in there lol!!

 

The road trip looked like hella fun but I might've had to sprinkle some low dosage Ritalin onto Kenya's sundae.

eta:  drivethroo, jinx, I owe you Coke.

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I enjoy the lulls between epic battles so I don't mind quieter episode, however, Team Pretty don't have near the charisma, chemistry or organic fun that they think they have. In fact the whole show and cast suffers from this. I find the Nene, Phaedra, Kandi and Porsha even worse, which maybe why I am finding the season as a whole lacking. The whole dynamic of the girls feels off and forced. I still don't get how or why Nene and Phaedra are suddenly cool.  I also don't get the sense that Cynthia is all that enamored of her new friends.

 

Riley, as the sole heir to the Burress fortune, ain't trying to split her inheritance money.  Can't say I blame her. After 11 years of being the sole focus and point of love to both Kandi and her dragon of a grandmother, it would be hard to think about sharing the shine.  She could be nicer to her step sister, who looks younger than Riley does (WTF?? Riley is 11 years old?? Just damn!!) , however I am not gonna slam her for being withholding mostly because as a child I was accused of always being in my room too. I just enjoyed times of solitude. I loved reading, listening to music, browsing the web, talking to school friends on the phone I got as a reward for doing really well in school (yay me!!). However, I wasn't in my room all the time. I did have a brother 4 years younger than me that I enjoyed playing with, watching tv with, etc., but than again we grew up together. If I didn't have a sibling, I think it would have been hard to warm up to an insta-sibling, especially if I had all the resources and space that Riley did. Have you seen her room? Surprised she even comes out of it but I guess she has to eat (no shade, ok maybe a little LOL!).

 

I was wondering why the hell would Cynthia be packing clothes and concerned about what Claudia was gonna wear. Cynthia first clowning Claudia about her hair by taking her to a hairdresser and now clowning her about her clothes. LOL!!! Cost wise Claudia's wardrobe is probably on par with Kandi but because Claudia is taller and has a model figure she gets away with it. The only time I was like 'damn that shit looks cheap as hell' was when Claudia showed up to Kenya's photoshoot in some kind of mustard yellow mullet short with shorts. 

 

Cement ass aside, Kenya's body has been the bomb.com (tm Brooks of RHOOC) this season. She looked extra cute in her traveling outfit, although why someone would were 4 inch heels to sit in a car for 3-4 hours is beyond me.  I find Kenya exhausting though. She veers from whacky juvenile fun to eye roll ridiculous with no warning. The mooning was extra but I didn't mind it but for some reason having her song played in the car to her captive audience was the worst to me. Tardy for the party it ain't.

 

Nene should leave. Not because I don't like her or think she brings down the show but because she clearly is over it and doesn't want to be bothered anymore. Plus, I would be really interested to see how the show does without her. Lawd, I can't wait until Kenya and Claudia turn on each other. You know it is gonna happen. Now, that will be good.

 

The hypocrisy all around on this show is astounding. That Kenya can say that Nene creates division and groups (which she does) is astounding given that Kenya was the one to come up with the name "Team Pretty" (hence the title of this episode "Beauties in the Fast Lane") at the beginning of the season while calling the other girls, minus Swiss neutral Kandi, beasts. Both Kenya & Nene are divisive. Both try to rally people to their 'teams' albeit in different ways. Nene casts you out if you don't accept her words and feelings as truth. Kenya whispers into the ear of those on the cusp of Nene's disfavor and then picks up Nene's castoffs and holds them to her bosom once exiled from Neneland.

 

Kenya could at least be consistent. Last season she made inference that Porsha was a willing beard for Kordell. Now she wants to hook her alleged bestest girlfriend up with a dude she inferred was gay and in the closet just last season? Bitch Please!!!

 

Phaedra and Apollo's boys are beautiful. Being the unabashed voyeur and Bravo bitch that I am of course I appreciated the inclusion of this scene, however, my basic humanity kept piping in and insisting that it was exploitative to the boys.

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Why did Dr. Jackie have an option of a test tube for semen collection? That was silly

 

Because she is as classless as any doctor that agrees to be on reality television? That whole segment left a bad taste in my mouth and certainly would not think she was an expert on anything poor taste. Money can't buy you class.

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Last season she made inference that Porsha was a willing beard for Kordell.

 

She sure did but however in Kenya's defense, PORSHA is the one who ran around last season inferring she was Kordell's beard and that Kordell was gay.  I think if Kenya really thought Kordell was gay maybe she'd slide Brandon in there instead of Claudia? LOL

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Awwww Apollo, why did you have to go and F**k up your life and the life of your gorgeous boys? I could weep for those innocent kids. 

 

Cynthia always trying to makeover Claudia. I don't get that. Claudia always looks great to me. What ever style and class Cyn had, she has lost it this season.

 

Kordell=Famewhore. There is no other explanation for him showing his face on this show.  And stupid for going into business with Peter. 

 

NayNay trying to justify herself to Gregg on the car ride home. Gregg kissing her ass makes me want to vomit. Does he ever have an opinion or does he live just to kiss her ass. I guess he doesn't want to upset the gravy train. He really has learned his place the second time around.

 

Todd, please don't do it! Don't get that bitch pregnant. You will never, ever be able to make her happy. God forbid she does get pregnant and they don't have a son. Will she blame that on him , too??

Cynthia can't afford to keep up with her past fashionista ways because she is having to bail Peter out time and time again. Even with Kordell's $$$, Cynthia is still helping to pay for that bar as well no doubt.

 

Cynthia and Kenya had a problem at the time with coochie crack. It was not ongoing and they made up. Kenya was a judge at Cynthia's beauty pageant and the one who convinced Nene to go to the ball. Cynthia's ongoing friendliness/being cordial to Kenya is the real reason Nene stopped being friends with her.

Cynthia was also the only one to check on Kenya when Porsha dragged her down to the ground.

Nene acted like she ain't even know who Phaedra was for three seasons and even claimed to have Angela Stanton waiting for Phaedra backstage during one reunion. Now they are best buds. Yeah, Cynthia and Mallory (and Kandi) have every right to think the new Nene/Phaedra friendship is odd.

Nene and Cynthia's fall out had nothing to do with Cynthia acting nice to Kenya, it was because Peter got his panties in a bunch over Nene saying/implying her was acting like a bitch. The new alliance between Nene, Porsha and Phaedra is no more real than the one between Kenya, Claudia and Cynthia. These "friendships" are for the show only.

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She sure did but however in Kenya's defense, PORSHA is the one who ran around last season inferring she was Kordell's beard and that Kordell was gay. I think if Kenya really thought Kordell was gay maybe she'd slide Brandon in there instead of Claudia? LOL

OK, so Kenya was only implying Cordell was gay to try to insult him. Sounds right coming from Kenya. Why Kenya cared if Porsha was married to a gay man who was not out, made no sense to me.

Porsha was wrong and so was Kenya.

Edited by imjagain
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OK, so Kenya was only implying Cordell was gay to try to insult him. Sounds right coming from Kenya. Why Kenya cared if Porsha was married to a gay man who was not out, made no sense to me.

Porsha was wrong and so was Kenya.

I think Kenya was stating Porsha was implying Kordell was gay but when Kenya said it Porsha acted as if she was all offened. Porsha was indeed going around implying Kordell was gay and she was his show piece and in return she got to pretend to be a "real house wife."

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Like when Nene said Noelle was jumping aboard the Ho Train or when she called Cynthia's husband a name?

 

Well thanks for leaving out the sentence after that in which I said "Nene has things to answer for too."  Whatever fits your agenda I guess.

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Honey, by the time you buy a combo meal, with tax, for three people it averages out about $30 total. The sandwich alone is close to $5.

 

Say whaaaaaat?  No.   That's commitment.  They don't really strike me as full combo meal kinda girls but God bless.  lol.  It does help explain Cyn's new background though.  Not mad at her.  

Edited by ZaldamoWilder
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For me, Kenya is the Seinfeld gf who looked good in certain light, etc. But for me, it's that she looks hideous in all lights & just some of y'all are seeing her in the special pretty light.

 

Also, CFA, my old nemesis. I try & not shop at places whose politics are so opposite of mine, but when it's Peach Milk Shake season, or Chix Tortilla Soup time, I fold like a weak hand of cards :(

 

Got a new frozen drinks mixer appliance/thingie for XMAS that's still sitting in the box - looking up the recipe for Peach Milk Shake as we speak ....  snow flying wildly around here in big, fat flakes and I am googling recipes for frozen ice cream drinks (sigh)

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 At Kandi's age, the doctors move it down to 6 months if not sooner. You don't have as much time to work with to determine what the problem is.

I thought that Kandi also mentioned that she hadn't been using birth control for a year (I guess she may have been trying to get pregnant before they got married?).

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Chick Fil A is a huge deal here.  I know people who sleep out for openings to get the 100 cards for free meals.

 

The one by where I work has to have an entire force of employees who do nothing but direct traffic through the drive through.

 

It's good food.

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