Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Katy M]

7 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Me too! Unless it's about a TV show or a food you don't like or a weird, constant smell in a relative's home, this phrase screams of dismissiveness, and a "Who cares--why even try to make anything better?" And that pisses me off. ESPECIALLY NOW.

I actually use that phrase to mean we can't deal with what ifs, we have to deal with reality.  Doesn't necessarily mean to me that you can't try to change things, but you have to start from the point you have.

[Brookside]

"Prolly".  Why can't you just say/type probably?  Nasty nasty word.

[TattleTeeny]

1 hour ago, Katy M said:

I actually use that phrase to mean we can't deal with what ifs, we have to deal with reality.  Doesn't necessarily mean to me that you can't try to change things, but you have to start from the point you have.

I get it. I'm probably (not "prolly"!) traumatized by the phrase because my manager at my last job used it all the time when he didn't want to listen to suggestions about how to make overwhelming jobs (mine) any better for the person who had to do them (ME!). Haha, if I scroll back in this very thread, I would find many, many peeves here about him and that place!

Edited June 12, 2020 by TattleTeeny

[peacheslatour]

Quote

My all-time most loathed phrase is: "I take full responsibility".  It's been used so often and by some of the most despicable people that you'd think no one would want to utter that phrase ever again.

It's better than saying they take no responsibility at all when they really need to.

[TattleTeeny]

38 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

It's better than saying they take no responsibility at all when they really need to.

But who would EVER say such a thing? I simply cannot imagine anyone being such an indignant, childish, triggered baby as to utter those words in a barely comprehensible manner while wearing in an ill-fitting suit! 

 

[CrazyInAlabama]

My most hated statement is "It is what it is" , spoken by the losing litigant on every TV judge show ever.  

[MargeGunderson]

I’m beginning to loathe “correct me if I’m wrong,” which I heard uttered by 4 separate people in a 30 minute meeting this morning. 

[shapeshifter]

3 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

My most hated statement is "It is what it is" , spoken by the losing litigant on every TV judge show ever.  

Do you just hate “It is what it is” in just that context? Or has it seeped into your psyche to the point where you hate it anywhere? Because, if you do, your head might explode at one point if you’re listening closely to Nobel Prize-winning Bob Dylan’s recently released song: 
bobdylan.com/songs/murder-most-foul

Edited June 12, 2020 by shapeshifter
typo

[CrazyInAlabama]

No, I hate "It is what it is" when the loser in a court case (on TV only) starts saying it, as if they're still right. 

[Katy M]

5 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

I’m beginning to loathe “correct me if I’m wrong,” which I heard uttered by 4 separate people in a 30 minute meeting this morning. 

I remember when I was in high school and my sister was home from college.  It was around noon on Saturday when she got up and she said, "correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't you be at work."  I don't know why, but I triumphantly and loudly claimed "You're Wrong!"  It felt so empowering somehow.  LOL.

[DrSpaceman73]

"It is what it is" I hate as well

Along with "just saying".  So unnecessary and annoying. 

[Spartan Girl]

I hate the term "stanning". It's gone from accurately describing crazy obsessive fans who take things too far to bring something to be proud of, like " we Stan a queen" or "Stan this instead of that""

DON'T "STAN" ANYTHING. You can like something without taking it to such an extreme, social media!

Yeah, I'm getting old, sue me.

[CrazyInAlabama]

I'm fine with Whatever will be, will be, and I love Doris Day.   The litigants on the court shows use the other phrase constantly.   

[theatremouse]

5 hours ago, icemiser69 said:

I don't know how it is possible that the television cable guide (the one you pull up on the television screen) can have so many of their copyright dates for movies so screwed up.  In some cases, the copyright dates listed for some of the movies were long past the actors and actresses deaths. 

It's possible the guide is just plain wrong, but it's also possible to update the copyright on a work years later, for example if there's a new cut or some such. It has to be significant enough to constitute a new "edition" of the work, but it is possible that the later copyright date is correct for the version of the film they're airing.

[ABay]

15 hours ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

"It is what it is" I hate as well

Along with "just saying".  So unnecessary and annoying. 

"Just saying" is just an attempt to excuse rudeness. It's the equivalent of saying "no offense" after saying something clearly meant to offend the listener.

[peacheslatour]

39 minutes ago, ABay said:

"Just saying" is just an attempt to excuse rudeness. It's the equivalent of saying "no offense" after saying something clearly meant to offend the listener.

Is that like "I'm just asking questions here"?

[rcc]

I hate "you know" constantly when someone speaks.

[RealHousewife]

People who don't give a damn about this virus. 

I was shopping yesterday, and it was a mostly positive experience. The store I was shopping at offered masks as you entered in, and many customers chose to wear them.

There was this couple that didn't take the masks, ignored the arrows in the store, didn't bother to keep space, just didn't care about who they made uncomfortable. 

I get that wearing masks are annoying. I can't imagine having to wear one the entire day. I don't judge people for taking them off now and then. I don't enjoy wearing them myself. I know I look goofy, it messes up my makeup, not as easy to breathe, putting fresh ones costs money, and reusing them isn't good for my skin. Trust me, there's nothing I like about it other than the fact they make a big difference. I wish more people would wear them to stop the spread. If you have a good reason to not wear them or refuse to wear them even when they were just offered to you free of charge, at least keep space! That's really all I want from you.

I get not following the arrows to a T if there aren't customers nearby or not noticing them if all this just started. But this has been going on for months. When there are customers nearby, I expect all able-bodied adults who can see to follow the arrows. They are not there because they're pretty. They're there to keep customers safe. 

[peacheslatour]

Quote

There was this couple that didn't take the masks, ignored the arrows in the store, didn't bother to keep space, just didn't care about who they made uncomfortable. 

Arrogance. The whole "I got mine. Fuck you." attitude.

[annzeepark914]

I've got two irritants: starting sentences with the word "So", and continuing to use the stupid word over & over. And of course, that charming Valley girl word from the '80's still being horribly overused today: like. I have a stepdaughter who grew up in the SF Valley and has a bad case of OTT usage of "like" (while I clench my teeth, wanting to scream!)

[ABay]

I've lost track of the podcasts I've quit because the presenter(s) said "like" every 3rd word.

[Anela]

22 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

I've got two irritants: starting sentences with the word "So", and continuing to use the stupid word over & over. And of course, that charming Valley girl word from the '80's still being horribly overused today: like. I have a stepdaughter who grew up in the SF Valley and has a bad case of OTT usage of "like" (while I clench my teeth, wanting to scream!)

I start sentences off with "so". 

Peeve of the moment: I love my cat, he's an overly-affectionate love bug (my cat George), but I hate it when he lands in my lap out of nowhere, and uses his claws on me. Twenty minutes ago, I also was on the receiving end of the raised butt hitting the bottom of my mug, so that it hit my teeth, and almost spilled all over me.

I also still haven't had my broken tooth seen to, because I don't have my own dentist, and they only seem to be seeing existing customers. I'm going to try dad's again. 

[Nordly Beaumont]

2 hours ago, Anela said:

I start sentences off with "so". 

My manager starts with "So....." I figure it gives her a second to form her thoughts (it's also just become a habit for her). What I really think is weird is when people end a sentence with "so..."  So what?? Don't leave me hanging!

[graybrown bird]

I think "So..." is the new "Well..."  I guess I can get used to hearing it, but it peeved me at first.  Things change.

[shapeshifter]

2 hours ago, graybrown bird said:

I think "So..." is the new "Well..."  I guess I can get used to hearing it, but it peeved me at first.  Things change.

Yes, I use "So" where I would have previously used "Well," but I don't think it's appropriate for formal writing or speaking.
My late, ex-father-in-law used "Now," which drove me bananas, but even worse was when I saw "Now" used to begin the first paragraph of a chapter in an old (early 20th century) history book in the college library, but even worse than that was when I heard one of my adult daughters use it. Thank goodness beginning sentences with "Now" didn't become a habit of hers. At least "So" is current. 

 

22 hours ago, Nordly Beaumont said:

My manager starts with "So....." I figure it gives her a second to form her thoughts (it's also just become a habit for her). What I really think is weird is when people end a sentence with "so..."  So what?? Don't leave me hanging!

It may be that she's hoping someone will have something to add? Or it may be her way of saying that y'all better do what she just said. It would probably depend on context, but, yeah, if she uses it a lot I guess you just have to ask for clarity, especially if she's the kind of boss who will later get mad for you not doing something that you didn't think needed to be done.

Edited June 16, 2020 by shapeshifter

[supposebly]

Not to make light of pet peeves, but these words do have discourse function and aren't just there to annoy or pollute the air. The reason they are less acceptable/present in formal writing is... well there is very little actual discourse in such texts. 

Some differences for other variants of English might apply:

Overview on Discourse Markers in the Cambridge Dictionary

800 years of 'like'

 

 

[shapeshifter]

Regarding "800 years of 'like'"

5 minutes ago, supposebly said:

800 years of 'like'

I do not see the recent over-use of "like" as equivalent to the long-standing, limited use of "like" to identify a simile. 

OTOH, 

8 minutes ago, supposebly said:

Overview on Discourse Markers in the Cambridge Dictionary

I am now willing to acknowledge that my intense dislike for the "discourse marker" of "Now" is due to my equally intense dislike for my then-father-in-law.

 

[Nordly Beaumont]

2 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

It may be that she's hoping someone will have something to add? Or it may be her way of saying that y'all better do what she just said. It would probably depend on context, but, yeah, if she uses it a lot I guess you just have to ask for clarity, especially if she's the kind of boss who will later get mad for you not doing something that you didn't think needed to be done.

To clarify, it's not my manager that uses "so..." at the end of a sentence (just the start of sentences). I've heard it from a variety of other people, so...

😀

Edited June 16, 2020 by Nordly Beaumont

[Sun-Bun]

On 6/11/2020 at 3:38 PM, BookWoman56 said:

Parents who had insisted their high school kids could never stay up late at home, could not hang out with friends not personally vetted by the parents, etc., ended up with their kids becoming college freshmen who often completely went wild once away from home. All too often, those freshmen didn't realize you can't generally party 6 nights a week and still pass your classes. So my pet peeve is parents who delude themselves that the day their kid turns 18, despite having zero freedom and corresponding responsibility prior to that, the kid is going to wake up on their 18th birthday with fully formed adult sensibilities.

@BookWoman56 , you just took me alllll the way back to my college years, because my former BFF was this exact student. She came from a wealthy family and her mom was a super controlling witch of a woman, but somehow she allowed her daughter to stay in the dorms of our local college we both attended together without too much issue. God forbid when she was staying at home and I dared hang out with her for a night on the town; mom would be blowing our phones up by 10pm demanding she get back home. 
It’s when she finally turned 21 and met a man online(and she’d never had *any* prior boyfriend/lover) when all Hell broke loose, and she dropped out of college, ran off and married him and got pregnant. Years later and she’s now a divorced mother of two with no education or real job, and who had to eventually move back to the house where she grew up to care for that horrible woman.

So I can fully agree that super-controlling mothers do NOT help their children smoothly adjust into adulthood. It’s a shame that so many women still make that parenting mistake though.

On 6/14/2020 at 1:44 PM, rcc said:

I hate "you know" constantly when someone speaks

Arghhh, yes!!! It’s definitely become the new “like”, but the worst is when you hear someone who uses them BOTH of these words peppered throughout their conversations, “like, you know”. As in “like, you know, I think he’s a great guy and all, but...” or “like, you know what I’m saying?” Nope. Shut up.

[annzeepark914]

Remember when "exactly" was the new hot word? It drove me crazy to hear people repeating it over & over ad nauseum (instead of simply saying "yes").  I still hear it occasionally, but it was truly awful back in the late '90's.

[Katy M]

29 minutes ago, Sun-Bun said:

Arghhh, yes!!! It’s definitely become the new “like”, but the worst is when you hear someone who uses them BOTH of these words peppered throughout their conversations, “like, you know”. As in “like, you know, I think he’s a great guy and all, but...” or “like, you know what I’m saying?” Nope. Shut up.

Funny how you say it's the new "like" because my grandmother is really the only person I've ever known to say "you know" all throughout her speech.

[ABay]

I think, like, you know is having a, like revival? Because, like, I remember it being, you know, like a big complaint back in, like, the 80s? You know?

I put in the ? to add uptalk.

[Browncoat]

36 minutes ago, ABay said:

I think, like, you know is having a, like revival? Because, like, I remember it being, you know, like a big complaint back in, like, the 80s? You know?

I put in the ? to add uptalk.

I would like to, like, like this post?  But, you know, I, like, can't?

[SunnyBeBe]

People who think that everything in this world is their business.  I can't stand people being so nosy. 

People who talk ALL THE TIME.  You'd think they are being paid by the word. 

Websites that are not user friendly.  

 

[Annber03]

5 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

Arghhh, yes!!! It’s definitely become the new “like”, but the worst is when you hear someone who uses them BOTH of these words peppered throughout their conversations, “like, you know”. As in “like, you know, I think he’s a great guy and all, but...” or “like, you know what I’m saying?” Nope. Shut up.

My dad told me a story once about how, when he was in high school, he had a tendency to end his sentences with "you know?" He did that in class one day, and finally a teacher got so fed up that he looked at him and said, "No, I don't know!" :p. 

As for the mention of the word "like" anytime I see talk about that word being used a lot, I just keep thinking about a segment I saw on...Channel 1 news, I think it was, where they had a counter in the corner tallying up the number of times a girl used the word "like" while being interviewed about something. 

[Anela]

3 hours ago, ABay said:

I think, like, you know is having a, like revival? Because, like, I remember it being, you know, like a big complaint back in, like, the 80s? You know?

I put in the ? to add uptalk.

This made me laugh at loud - I do the question mark thing, too, and the other night, when writing to a friend, I ended one sentence with, "You know?" 

The constant use of "like" is one that gets to me, though. Four years ago, when we were bringing my sister home from Canada, just before Thanksgiving, I was waiting in the Barnes and Noble in Buffalo (I couldn't cross the border without a passport). I had a stack of books in front of me, and was just trying to keep myself occupied until my dad got back to pick me up, when this girl and her mother walk in and sit at the table next to mine. I couldn't count how many times she used the word "like" and it was winding me up, so I left, after two hours of constant, "like this, and like that, and I was like 'okay'."

Edited June 17, 2020 by Anela

[shapeshifter]

55 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Websites that are not user friendly. 

As a retired website designer, don't get me started on programmers who think UE (User experience) testing is just a formality.

[Katy M]

17 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

As a retired website designer, don't get me started on programmers who think UE (User experience) testing is just a formality.

Seriously?  How could anyone think that?

[SoMuchTV]

1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

People who think that everything in this world is their business.  I can't stand people being so nosy. 

People who talk ALL THE TIME.  You'd think they are being paid by the word. 

Websites that are not user friendly. 

Websites that take up the whole first screen or more with a giant pictures and huge text, and you have to scroll & scroll to get to any useful information.  I feel like I'm reading My Weekly Reader (remember that?) This seemed to have started around the time when the move was to use a common design for all devices.  The result (for me)?  It's not optimized for any device.

[peacheslatour]

2 minutes ago, SoMuchTV said:

Websites that take up the whole first screen or more with a giant pictures and huge text, and you have to scroll & scroll to get to any useful information.  I feel like I'm reading My Weekly Reader (remember that?) This seemed to have started around the time when the move was to use a common design for all devices.  The result (for me)?  It's not optimized for any device.

OMG, looking up recipes online. I just want to know how to make Key Lime pie, I don't need your college transcripts, pictures of every pet you've ever had, how you met your husband with a bajillion pictures before you tell me I need four fucking ingredients!

[SoMuchTV]

15 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

OMG, looking up recipes online. I just want to know how to make Key Lime pie, I don't need your college transcripts, pictures of every pet you've ever had, how you met your husband with a bajillion pictures before you tell me I need four fucking ingredients!

But first let me tell you about my great-grandmother, and how her porch looked, and my puppy, and what the kids thought of the recipe, and what it was like at the store when I was shopping for the ingredients...

[Bastet]

36 minutes ago, SoMuchTV said:

But first let me tell you about my great-grandmother, and how her porch looked, and my puppy, and what the kids thought of the recipe, and what it was like at the store when I was shopping for the ingredients...

And show you pictures of all of the above.

[auntlada]

I was washing my Instant Pot lid and lost the sealing ring thing (not sure exactly what it's called because now I don't remember) off the float valve. The float valve also fell out, of course, because the sealing ring thing is the thing that keeps it from falling out. I found it in the disposal, but the sealing ring thing is nowhere to be found. I ordered a replacement (two replacements, just in case it happens again), but it's probably going to take a while to get here because I ordered from the company because Amazon doesn't have the original part. It has that part made (or at least sold) by other companies, but I'm iffy about buying non-original parts, particularly when they only have 40 or so reviews on Amazon.

It's just been that kind of a week for me. I haven't cooked dinner once because every time I plan something, things get in the way. Perhaps I can use the slow cooker tomorrow.

[supposebly]

My  mom has mellowed with age. These days, she only quietly rehangs the laundry while I'm  not looking instead of explaining to me for hours why I'm not allowed to help her with the laundry. Since I'm not separating things right and hanging it all wrong. How to do it right? Who knows, but it's obvious my way is the wrong way.

As a teacher, I always say she would be the worst teacher ever.

I do love her very much.

[Sun-Bun]

15 hours ago, supposebly said:

My  mom has mellowed with age. These days, she only quietly rehangs the laundry while I'm  not looking instead of explaining to me for hours why I'm not allowed to help her with the laundry. Since I'm not separating things right and hanging it all wrong. How to do it right? Who knows, but it's obvious my way is the wrong way.

As a teacher, I always say she would be the worst teacher ever.

I do love her very much.

Surely we have the same mother?!

Mine was that way about cooking. I’d beg her to help with the cooking while growing up, but she’d merely push me aside and say she didn’t have time or that I’d make a mess or I’d get in her way. I finally quit asking as soon as I hit my teenage years.
Now she wonders why as an adult I neither cook nor have an interest in it?! Thank the gods I ended up marrying an amateur chef.

[SunnyBeBe]

I'm surprised at the number of websites that LEAVE OUT vital information.  Have you ever noticed how many local government agencies DO NOT provide the city or state they are located in?  Many counties have a website but fail to provide a physical address for their city.  It's amazing. Of course, you can google it, but, it just seems like an odd thing to leave off a site that offers information.  I have an interest in different parts of the country, so, maybe that's why I have noticed it. 

Then there's Spectrum technical support website, in case they are too busy to answer your call.  lol Now that's pretty funny.  A rep that I spoke to by phone just told me, when I complained, that it really doesn't work.  lol  

[GaT]

On 6/17/2020 at 12:16 PM, SunnyBeBe said:

People who talk ALL THE TIME.  You'd think they are being paid by the word. 

How long have you known my husband?

[PRgal]

On 6/14/2020 at 5:45 PM, ABay said:

I've lost track of the podcasts I've quit because the presenter(s) said "like" every 3rd word.

I stopped listening to a podcast because one of the hosts was an utter bore. He sounded like a narrator on the Calm app.

As for saying "like" too much, it's not nearly as bad as vocal fry or super-high pitched/child-like voices young women seem to like (the latter seems to be common with East Asian women who watch certain types of TV shows - namely shows from the old country or similarly geographic regions).  And I need to be careful, because I have a habit of ending sentences sounding like I'm asking a question.  As a podcast co-host, I shouldn't be doing that!

[SunnyBeBe]

12 minutes ago, GaT said:

How long have you known my husband?

You know....the obsessive talker really does have a condition. I've read about it.  They know they are doing it, but, just can't stop. They often welcome someone cutting them off in mid sentence and snapping them out of it. 

That type of talker is a little different from the one that I was referring to in my earlier post.  The one that I am fed up with are those that just chat, chat, chat.  They talk on the phone for an hour, then call someone else for an hour. Then, someone drops by and they talk to them like they've not spoken to a soul in weeks!  I have quite a few in my family.  If I talked that much, my lips would be tired. lol  I find that it's more common with seniors, though, I have some family members in their 20's who do it too!  Why can't they just text like everyone else?  lol 

Edited June 18, 2020 by SunnyBeBe

[peacheslatour]

25 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

You know....the obsessive talker really does have a condition. I've read about it.  They know they are doing it, but, just can't stop. They often welcome someone cutting them off in mid sentence and snapping them out of it. 

That type of talker is a little different from the one that I was referring to in my earlier post.  The one that I am fed up with are those that just chat, chat, chat.  They talk on the phone for an hour, then call someone else for an hour. Then, someone drops by and they talk to them like they've not spoken to a soul in weeks!  I have quite a few in my family.  If I talked that much, my lips would be tired. lol  I find that it's more common with seniors, though, I have some family members in their 20's who do it too!  Why can't they just text like everyone else?  lol 

Another one is people who eat while they talk on the phone. I had a friend who would make herself a meal (her favorite was steak dipped in mayonnaise *shudder*) and as soon as she sat down with her plate, would pick up the phone and start calling people. I finally told her I would not talk to her any more if she called me with a mouthful.