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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


Message added by Scarlett45

This is a reminder that the Politics Policy is still in effect.

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss political social media posts of those in the Duggar realm- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

Political discussion is not allowed in this forum- this includes Small Talk topics. Please stay in the spirit of the policy- I have noticed a tendency for some to follow the letter but not the spirit.

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While we understand the frustration (change is never easy), please keep in mind that not everyone feels the same way and that for those members who don't, the ongoing conversation about other forums and chat options can equally be a cause of frustration.

Out of respect for your fellow posters, we kindly ask that you continue any discussion about alternatives via PM or the Technically Speaking: Bugs, Questions, & Suggestions area.

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(edited)
7 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

This is what I'm leaning toward:

Windemere 4-Piece Aluminum Outdoor Patio Seating Set with Sofa with Sunbrella Canvas Spa Cushions, $1400.

image.png.2991b253efd5f49d17a8d371404d7f47.png

I've got similar coated aluminum chairs with my patio set.  They're white, not brown, buth otherwise very similar.  They stay outside all summer and then into the garage for the winter.  In the spring, I hose them down and wash with dishwashing liquid in water.  20+ years and they still look fine.

Have replaced the cushions multiple times.  Sunbrella is the way to go if you can afford it, it also helps to have furniture covers  when not using to protect from the light and such.  I bring the cushions indoors in the fall after scrubbing them with a scrub brush, dish soap and water and store them in the basement in  plastic bins once they're dry.  Left them in the garage once and some mice turned them into condos. Usually last 4-5 years before they get too stained.

Edited by Notabug
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2 hours ago, Zella said:

Unfortunately this may require war if we become rival tyrants because I'm pretty entrenched in my bergamot hate. 😂*

I don't have a problem with cilantro, but it's not one of my favorites. 

I wish I could find that picture of Jeremy eating the doughnut. I think it was deleted from his Instagram, so I find people talking about when it happened but no preservation of his face. Maybe the world is a better place for this. 

*War can perhaps be averted if you just want it in perfume and not tea. I don't wear perfume and am pretty sensitive to some of them if other people are wearing them, but I don't think I have a sensitivity to that as a fragrance. Just the taste. 

7 minutes ago, sagittarius sue said:

OK, I'll stand as a buffer between you two as I can't stand Earl Grey or begamot in food, but I don't have a problem with it in perfume.

I really do not have an opinion on Earl Grey as a tea.  I love the smell of it, but don't find myself reaching for it.  But, I can see why someone would hate the taste of it.  I really am not a fan of eating my perfumes as it were.  I don't reach for rose/violet/lavender flavored foods.  And my dislike of cilantro is rooted in it tasting like my Chanel No. 5 or my White Linen.  I don't want to eat aldehydes, I want to smell them.  

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So true. I am reminded of a guy on the reality show Family Karma. He grew up fundie, always knew he was gay. He came out to his parents when he was 19 and was basically thrown out. Now in his mid-30s, he's engaged to be married to his longtime boyfriend and hasn't told his parents. He doesn't think it would accomplish anything; it's not as if they would come to the wedding. 

At least he's happy and living his best life. So many gay children of fundies aren't as fortunate.

Quoting @emmawoodhouse from the Lonely J’s thread. 
 

I have mentioned before that I have a good friend that grew up Fundy/Quiverfull and she always says that she thinks being gay saved her from the cult(along with being an only child, and having a high iq). She contends if she was straight she’d be in her 9th kid by now (she’s 34). 
 

Although as a teen in that life she didn’t have the language for “lesbian” but she knew the idea of having to marry a man repulsed her, and her parents let her go to college because she was an only child and they wanted her to meet a man who could take care of them. 
 

She was on and off with her parents for a while, but when she met her wife she had to cut them off completely for her own well being. It’s so tragic what she went though. 

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23 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I have mentioned before that I have a good friend that grew up Fundy/Quiverfull and she always says that she thinks being gay saved her from the cult(along with being an only child, and having a high iq). She contends if she was straight she’d be in her 9th kid by now (she’s 34). 

Although as a teen in that life she didn’t have the language for “lesbian” but she knew the idea of having to marry a man repulsed her, and her parents let her go to college because she was an only child and they wanted her to meet a man who could take care of them. 

She was on and off with her parents for a while, but when she met her wife she had to cut them off completely for her own well being. It’s so tragic what she went though. 

Ya know, even with all the new reaction emoji options, I still had trouble selecting one for this post. I'm happy that your friend has found love and a life away from the cult, and yet, as you said, it's tragic what she's been through. So I picked the rainbow/thanks reaction - because, rainbow. 

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6 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Ya know, even with all the new reaction emoji options, I still had trouble selecting one for this post. I'm happy that your friend has found love and a life away from the cult, and yet, as you said, it's tragic what she's been through. So I picked the rainbow/thanks reaction - because, rainbow. 

I got lots of rainbows on my initial post. It's the proper response. 😊

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11 hours ago, Jeeves said:

Ya know, even with all the new reaction emoji options, I still had trouble selecting one for this post. I'm happy that your friend has found love and a life away from the cult, and yet, as you said, it's tragic what she's been through. So I picked the rainbow/thanks reaction - because, rainbow. 

She’s a great person- highly intelligent and self aware. She doesn’t follow these types of families (too triggering) but she heard about Josh’s arrest and she knows I follow/post here, she asked me some things about it. When I said Anna gave birth on odd years she recoiled “that could’ve been me if I were straight I know it.”  She also admits that being an only child was a big reason she was able to leave-her parents weren’t very fertile and reproductive tech wasn’t as good that long ago, they married at 18/21 but didn’t manage a live birth until their mid 30s (her); but she says she doesn’t know if she could’ve done it if she had brothers and sisters she loved that she would’ve been cut off from. 
 

**when we first met and she said that she grew up fundy and I asked was her community Quiverfull she went “wow you know what that means!” And I said “the Duggars”. 

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I think you're doing great to figure out it was the stand she wanted.  It has to be so hard that she can't communicate something rather simple like that and unlike a regular toddler where it will improve, that it will never change.  💗💗💗

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15 minutes ago, Absolom said:

I think you're doing great to figure out it was the stand she wanted.  It has to be so hard that she can't communicate something rather simple like that and unlike a regular toddler where it will improve, that it will never change.  💗💗💗

(Edited to add), you are very kind to me @Absolom.

My sister is 34, so its been 32 years in the terrible twos, with adult height, strength, dexterity and hormones. Usually she is pretty predicable, but every now and again she will do something that makes NO SENSE to rest of us.

I am sure in her head she was doing something good, because she put the pots in the sink with soap and water** but why throw the plants in the trash? As I think about it, it's gotta be the stand she wanted, because the plants on the other stand were NOT touched.

I just want my Mom's plants back where she would like them so she is happy. I feel better now but I admit my adrenaline was UP this morning.

**it wasn't a tantrum situation where she threw something or smashed them in anger.

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Updated on Plant Gate- I put all of the plants on ONE side of the living room (the side she did not bother) and talked to M about it. M just told me that my sister wants the plant stand she took into her room GONE, so she put it in the stairwell. 

I can clean out the vestibule and put the plant stand there. So far she has not touched the plants I reassembled and put back. I am going to spend the weekend monitoring her and these plants. 

What really confuses me, is that the stand has been there FOR MONTHS (about 3), if she hated the stand, in typical fashion this would've happened on Day 2. She does not like change, moving things around, changing things out, always causes a huge situation with her. Do not get me started when things break, its Def Con 10. So I assumed she was "okay" with the stand when it arrived and she didnt touch it.

But I've only been her sister for 34yrs, what do I know.

Again thanks for reading. 

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Well after 3 weeks of my mom being in the hospital she finally got out and I am having her move in with me. She is only 66 had to spend her birthday 🎂 in the hospital so I told her that if she really wants to get healthy she will be happy to live with me. My kids are thrilled.  The only thing that she is upset about is that her house is about a 5 minute drive from Englewood Colorado Federal Prison.  And she won't be able to drive up and down the street yelling at FF SMUGGAR. I put her house up for rent furnished and I rented it to a school principal and a teacher with a couple of kids within 30 minutes of having it on nextdoor.com. 

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(edited)

@Scarlett45, I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to not know what set your sister off about the plant stand. I'm glad for your mom's sake that you were able to salvage the plants. 

@Rabbittron, I'm glad your children are excited to have grandma move in. She will heal so much faster and better with family around.

I think I may be coming to the end of my driving life. On the way home from visiting my oldest son over Memorial weekend I stopped for a green light on a street where the speed limit is 55. I just sat there until someone drove pass me honking their horn. Thankfully, it was early Sunday morning and there wasn't any traffic, but the light was one for cars turning left into a big box store. 

This morning I was driving to the store and the lights on Main Street were blinking red. I saw them, patted myself on the back for leaving before 7:00 am, and drove right threw the red light and into a Dodge pickup. Thankfully, nobody was hurt and my insurance will cover the damage for the driver I hit. Unfortunately, I discontinued liability last year to save money and my poor car lost it's brand new bumper and head light. 

And then there is the annoying driving issues - turning left at the 4 stoplights before the one I need to turn on (3-5 times this year), having to pull over on a road I've driven many times before  because  I couldn't remember where I was going, driving to the child care center my grandson went to when he lived with 4 years ago. 

I also don't think the nurse-psychologist that prescribes my meds is the right fit. I was there on June 1st and we agreed to switch from Zoloft to Cymbalta, but when I went to get my meds I found out she also discontinued my Adderall and Buspar. Without discussing it with me. She got almost insulted when I wanted her to read my boss's report on the things I can't do at work that I was able to do a year & a half ago. She asked me why she would want to read that and then said she wanted to know where I was right now, not where I was previously. Plus, according to her, my issues are due to my mental health problems and once that's resolved I won't have any memory issues. 

Edited by Nysha
The board automatically merged my posts, so I changed the format a bit.
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Nysha, I'm so sorry for all that you are going through! I hope you get the answers that will help you to get your life back to normal! Hugs!

I'm struggling with a med my endocrinologist prescribed. Some annoying side effects, including a new rash on my hands. It's always something!

Here I sit in a wing chair, closer to the tv than I would like, while my kingly kitty sits in my recliner on his royal pillow. I grew up in a big family, so I'm used to the "shuffle your feet, you lose your seat" game! But dang! Overruled by the cat! 🐈‍⬛ 👑

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1 minute ago, Turquoise said:

I trimmed our hydrangea this winter, and I am so pleased with the difference it made with the blooms. It is having such a beautiful year. Thought you might enjoy as well.

B04F28C7-4136-4D8F-8854-6FC863FF62E3.jpeg

Beautiful!

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(edited)

Mommy Rabbittron here my daughter wanted to get a new phone number but I refused because all my friends have this number. She made the spare master bedroom handicapped acceptable and from the basement to the upstairs bedroom is a elevator and because she knows her kids she also got a star lift. She knows my friends who are on Facebook so she couldn't get me to change my number.  I checked and Duggar might be on the move he is not listed on Arkansas prisoner lookup and BOP doesn't have him listed.  Little does she know that I have about 20 friends to drive me up and down the street if Duggar does end up at Englewood Colorado Federal Prison. She thought that making me move in with her will stop me from driving me up and down the street. Now it is story time about growing up in the 60s 

Edited by Rabbittron
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(edited)
9 hours ago, Nysha said:

@Scarlett45, I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to not know what set your sister off about the plant stand. I'm glad for your mom's sake that you were able to salvage the plants. 

@Rabbittron, I'm glad your children are excited to have grandma move in. She will heal so much faster and better with family around.

I think I may be coming to the end of my driving life. On the way home from visiting my oldest son over Memorial weekend I stopped for a green light on a street where the speed limit is 55. I just sat there until someone drove pass me honking their horn. Thankfully, it was early Sunday morning and there wasn't any traffic, but the light was one for cars turning left into a big box store. 

This morning I was driving to the store and the lights on Main Street were blinking red. I saw them, patted myself on the back for leaving before 7:00 am, and drove right threw the red light and into a Dodge pickup. Thankfully, nobody was hurt and my insurance will cover the damage for the driver I hit. Unfortunately, I discontinued liability last year to save money and my poor car lost it's brand new bumper and head light. 

And then there is the annoying driving issues - turning left at the 4 stoplights before the one I need to turn on (3-5 times this year), having to pull over on a road I've driven many times before  because  I couldn't remember where I was going, driving to the child care center my grandson went to when he lived with 4 years ago. 

I also don't think the nurse-psychologist that prescribes my meds is the right fit. I was there on June 1st and we agreed to switch from Zoloft to Cymbalta, but when I went to get my meds I found out she also discontinued my Adderall and Buspar. Without discussing it with me. She got almost insulted when I wanted her to read my boss's report on the things I can't do at work that I was able to do a year & a half ago. She asked me why she would want to read that and then said she wanted to know where I was right now, not where I was previously. Plus, according to her, my issues are due to my mental health problems and once that's resolved I won't have any memory issues. 

Cimbalta is “speedier” than Zoloft so maybe that’s why she discontinued the Adderall? Who knows, but she should have discussed it with you.

I take Lexapro and Vyvanse, and that works for me. I could always use something more for anxiety though, lol.

Edited by Cinnabon
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Yikes, doesn't it seem 'there's always something' we all have to deal with everyday?

@Nysha, oh dear, maybe you need to have another conversation with your prescriber or find another. In the mental health field we all use a universal comprehensive assessment because biopsychosocial history matters. Never mind your report has to do with "right now". Also Buspar and Adderall are for "mental health problems".

Maybe you could ask your PCP or therapist to do a consult with your prescriber to nudge her onto the same page as everyone else.

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Update on Plant Gate- she did it again last night!!!!!! 

On my way to walk Cosmo I checked, plants in the garbage, pots in the sink. 

I got dirt on my yellow sneakers trying to save my Mom’s plants. 

I guess my mom’s plants can live outside in the summer and the vestibule in the winter. 

13 hours ago, Love2dance said:

@Scarlett45, I hope you have a nice weekend after your frustrating Friday. So glad you were able to save your mom’s plants. It is amazing to me how you are able to juggle your sister’s, mom’s and your needs. I admire you!

You’re very sweet but I wouldn’t “choose this”. I was born into it. I admire people who are caregivers by choice. 

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My Mom saw my sister doing this around 11pm last night on the security cameras. She did not cry this time. She said “god I give up”. But she woke up and saw my text and came out to look. 
 

She is very happy! So long as my Mom isn’t upset it is okay. 

2AF4A6F0-C968-436F-B36E-CBF635855F5B.jpeg

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42 minutes ago, emma675 said:

So Scarlett says her sister can "go fuck herself?" To a woman who has the mental capacity of a two year old. Wow.

Scarlett is entitled to get angry and express it here.  She carries a huge burden with patience and love.  Even a saint has limits.

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1 hour ago, emma675 said:

My apologies, all, I was having a very hard morning and shouldn't have taken it out on Scarlett. 

((((Hugs))) to you too with your hard morning. 
 

4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

@Scarlett45, could it be the new plants were getting a lot of 'attention'? Maybe try giving one to your sister and ooh and ahh at it? She could possibly decorate the pot with stickers? 

That is an idea! but I honestly just don’t know what the deal is with these plants. Again after 90 days (or so of them being here). If this happened on Day 2 it would make so much more sense to me. 
 

I am just relieved my Mom isn’t upset any more. I cannot take it when my Mom cries. Cannot. She’s been so sensitive lately, I get it, she’s older, lost her friends, retired and she just wanted some plants. 

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8 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

((((Hugs))) to you too with your hard morning. 
 

That is an idea! but I honestly just don’t know what the deal is with these plants. Again after 90 days (or so of them being here). If this happened on Day 2 it would make so much more sense to me. 
 

I am just relieved my Mom isn’t upset any more. I cannot take it when my Mom cries. Cannot. She’s been so sensitive lately, I get it, she’s older, lost her friends, retired and she just wanted some plants. 

Hopefully by winter your sister will have forgotten whatever bothered her about the plants. You said that your mom has had the plants for a while.  Maybe with the changing of the season ( different sun angle) the plants cast an odd shadow thst bothered her and she just thought ..nope. it is so difficult when someone cannot express what is going on in their head.

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20 hours ago, Nysha said:

@Scarlett45, I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to not know what set your sister off about the plant stand. I'm glad for your mom's sake that you were able to salvage the plants. 

@Rabbittron, I'm glad your children are excited to have grandma move in. She will heal so much faster and better with family around.

I think I may be coming to the end of my driving life. On the way home from visiting my oldest son over Memorial weekend I stopped for a green light on a street where the speed limit is 55. I just sat there until someone drove pass me honking their horn. Thankfully, it was early Sunday morning and there wasn't any traffic, but the light was one for cars turning left into a big box store. 

This morning I was driving to the store and the lights on Main Street were blinking red. I saw them, patted myself on the back for leaving before 7:00 am, and drove right threw the red light and into a Dodge pickup. Thankfully, nobody was hurt and my insurance will cover the damage for the driver I hit. Unfortunately, I discontinued liability last year to save money and my poor car lost it's brand new bumper and head light. 

And then there is the annoying driving issues - turning left at the 4 stoplights before the one I need to turn on (3-5 times this year), having to pull over on a road I've driven many times before  because  I couldn't remember where I was going, driving to the child care center my grandson went to when he lived with 4 years ago. 

I also don't think the nurse-psychologist that prescribes my meds is the right fit. I was there on June 1st and we agreed to switch from Zoloft to Cymbalta, but when I went to get my meds I found out she also discontinued my Adderall and Buspar. Without discussing it with me. She got almost insulted when I wanted her to read my boss's report on the things I can't do at work that I was able to do a year & a half ago. She asked me why she would want to read that and then said she wanted to know where I was right now, not where I was previously. Plus, according to her, my issues are due to my mental health problems and once that's resolved I won't have any memory issues. 

I’m sorry for your heath issues. If you don’t feel safe driving right now it’s best to pause until you can figure out what’s up.

Also trust your gut- it might be a good idea to find a new medical provider who can prescribe your meds, one that will work with you to meet your needs. 

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In the Jill and Derick topic, @Zella said about naming the kids: 

Quote

I just have to say I unintentionally named my two kids A-names. And then found out they were the names of the victims of Lizzie Borden. (If Lizzie Borden actually killed her father and stepmother). We lived not far from Fall River (had jury duty there within a stones throw of the house) and my daughter was appalled when she discovered the link. It was also unintentional. I did get a little bit of shit about the names we chose though not because of the two reasons listed above. I can totally understand why parents choose not to announce the names until after the baby is born because holy cow is it frustrating.

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28 minutes ago, frenchtoast said:

In the Jill and Derick topic, @Zella said about naming the kids: 

I just have to say I unintentionally named my two kids A-names. And then found out they were the names of the victims of Lizzie Borden. (If Lizzie Borden actually killed her father and stepmother). We lived not far from Fall River (had jury duty there within a stones throw of the house) and my daughter was appalled when she discovered the link. It was also unintentional. I did get a little bit of shit about the names we chose though not because of the two reasons listed above. I can totally understand why parents choose not to announce the names until after the baby is born because holy cow is it frustrating.

I understand. And people can say socially inappropriate things about baby names, which I don’t think help expectant parents at all. 

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I’m not used to having weekends off yet. I was working Sunday-Friday. Now I’m Monday-Friday. It’s so strange having two days off in a row. This morning I jumped up when I saw the time and my alarm hadn’t gone off. 
This too shall pass.

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3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I’m not used to having weekends off yet. I was working Sunday-Friday. Now I’m Monday-Friday. It’s so strange having two days off in a row. This morning I jumped up when I saw the time and my alarm hadn’t gone off. 
This too shall pass.

I babysit my twin grandsons and last Thursday, I woke up and only saw the :40 on the clock. I usually get up at 5:25 on Thursdays. I jumped out of bed, texted my son and said I'd be a little late. Got completely ready, went downstairs and saw he had responded. He said it's the middle of the night. I had gotten up at 12:40am.  I was wondering why it was so dark out. I double check the time and my alarms often now. 

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Message added by Scarlett45

This is a reminder that the Politics Policy is still in effect.

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss political social media posts of those in the Duggar realm- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

Political discussion is not allowed in this forum- this includes Small Talk topics. Please stay in the spirit of the policy- I have noticed a tendency for some to follow the letter but not the spirit.

Guest

While we understand the frustration (change is never easy), please keep in mind that not everyone feels the same way and that for those members who don't, the ongoing conversation about other forums and chat options can equally be a cause of frustration.

Out of respect for your fellow posters, we kindly ask that you continue any discussion about alternatives via PM or the Technically Speaking: Bugs, Questions, & Suggestions area.

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