Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[jcbrown]

2 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I own a 2 flat (or a duplex as they are called in certain parts of the country), and live on the second floor (my Mom and sister live downstairs), so he only has to navigate one floor. I have two litter boxes for three cats, I may get another. Of course I don’t want him in pain or suffering, but at 18 I’m not going to try to reinvent the wheel, I know somethings are just due to aging. I’ll keep you guys updated. At least I know I don’t have a leaky roof!!

Washable pee pads have thus far worked for us. My sister has a 12 year-old kitty who is a bit dim and has never managed to hit the litterbox. She uses the throw-away kind of pee pads and he has adapted just fine. We have three litterboxes for three kitties and fortunately, the younger two kitties have only looked askance at the pee pads Hillary is using, rather than joining the party. I love her and I will keep her happy as long as she feels well and is enjoying life, as you implied as well. Hang in there.

[SunnyBeBe]

Hey everyone, I'm trying to catch up around here. I've been away from the boards for bit due to a lot, plus, I had eye surgery and my eyes were very swollen. It was hard to see and I had to keep them iced.  There're improving though.  

I've read where some are having some pretty tough times.  I'm sorry to see that.  Many prayers and thoughts for those who are having such hard times. 

If you recall, I was inquiring about how to help a couple who discovered one of them had cancer a couple of weeks ago.  Sadly, she passed away this weekend.  I'm still in shock.  It happened so quickly.  My question is, what is the proper response now days?  Send flowers or plant?  Donate to charity in her name? Take food to the house?  There is a visitation later this week, so, wanted to have done something by then.  Her obit doesn't give any comment on flowers of donation.  I know that she was a big fan of animals. 

Edited October 15, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[Ijustwantsomechips]

54 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Hey everyone, I'm trying to catch up around here. I've been away from the boards for bit due to a lot, plus, I had eye surgery and my eyes were very swollen. It was hard to see and I had to keep them iced.  There're improving though.  

I've read where some are having some pretty tough times.  I'm sorry to see that.  Many prayers and thoughts for those who are having such hard times. 

If you recall, I was inquiring about how to help a couple who discovered one of them had cancer a couple of weeks ago.  Sadly, she passed away this weekend.  I'm still in shock.  It happened so quickly.  My question is, what is the proper response now days?  Send flowers or plant?  Donate to charity in her name? Take food to the house?  There is a visitation later this week, so, wanted to have done something by then.  Her obit doesn't give any comment on flowers of donation.  I know that she was a big fan of animals. 

I’m old school so bringing food always works for me, especially if there are lots of visitors at the house prior to a funeral.   Perhaps just dropping by with a casserole and asking if there’s anything you can do to help.  Sometimes people need the most help a few weeks later after the crowd dies down.  

[SunnyBeBe]

34 minutes ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

I’m old school so bringing food always works for me, especially if there are lots of visitors at the house prior to a funeral.   Perhaps just dropping by with a casserole and asking if there’s anything you can do to help.  Sometimes people need the most help a few weeks later after the crowd dies down.  

Yes, that's true.  I will take food, but, there aren't many, since all her family is from out of town.  They are having a visitation at the funeral home, but, most family had to return home.  I just wasn't sure if it's proper to donate to charity in her name, unless it says to.  And, I can't see her husband wanting or caring for another plant and flowers fade so quick.    

[SunnyBeBe]

Do you think it would be appropriate to carry a basket to the home before the visitation that is filled with some treats, like cheese straws, crackers, assorted cookies, nuts, etc.  with a fall theme?  

[jcbrown]

1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Do you think it would be appropriate to carry a basket to the home before the visitation that is filled with some treats, like cheese straws, crackers, assorted cookies, nuts, etc.  with a fall theme?  

I think it would be a very nice gesture. And if you want maybe you could also ask at that time if there is a particular charity that would be meaningful.

[SunnyBeBe]

Just now, jcbrown said:

I think it would be a very nice gesture. And if you want maybe you could also ask at that time if there is a particular charity that would be meaningful.

That's a good idea.  There's no real rush.  

I really hate cancer.  It's just taking too many people.  

[lookeyloo]

Sorry about your friend SunnyBeBe. My experience with sending flowers is that the grieving families had never paid attention to them.  They went home with someone, they couldn't say who.  So, while a nice gesture, not always does what it is intended.  I like the idea of bringing the basket and asking about a charity.  

[Westiepeach]

1 hour ago, lookeyloo said:

Sorry about your friend SunnyBeBe. My experience with sending flowers is that the grieving families had never paid attention to them.  They went home with someone, they couldn't say who.  So, while a nice gesture, not always does what it is intended.  I like the idea of bringing the basket and asking about a charity.  

Very sorry about your friend, @SunnyBeBe. Unfortunately, I have a lot of firsthand experience with death, the latest was my FIL a month ago. I think the basket you intend to bring to the house is perfect. I agree with the funeral flowers. If you give a planter, it will forever be “The Funeral Planter.” If you give fresh flowers, well, they die. *sigh*. Now, when you deliver the basket, do not say, “If there is anything I can do, just let me know.” Guess what? We are not going to let you know. Because we don’t know what we need. Tell them you will bring dinner on Thursday. Tell them you will do their laundry, or arrange for someone to cut their grass. Buy milk, eggs, bread. Sorry if I am blunt, it’s just what I recently lived through. Just do it. Don’t ask what they need. Just do something. 

[McManda]

8 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

Now, when you deliver the basket, do not say, “If there is anything I can do, just let me know.” Guess what? We are not going to let you know. Because we don’t know what we need. Tell them you will bring dinner on Thursday. Tell them you will do their laundry, or arrange for someone to cut their grass. Buy milk, eggs, bread. Sorry if I am blunt, it’s just what I recently lived through. Just do it. Don’t ask what they need. Just do something. 

I was given this advice, too. Don't ask if they need help, because coming up with something or thinking about what they need is just another thing added to their plate. If you must ask, ask in a direct way: "what can I do for you?". If they don't know, tell them what you'd like to do for them. 

And maybe wait a week or so and then check in or bring dinner. There's a ton of concern and support until the funeral, and then people tend to move on. Which is understandable, but for those immediately left behind ... they don't get to move on quite so quickly. It's a tough adjustment to have your life thrown upside down so quickly.

[sixlets]

First, I am so sorry to read your latest update Nysha.  Your family has been in my thoughts the past few weeks.  Please know you have an outlet to talk, vent, yell, or cry.

Second, thank you all for weighing in on the car discussion.  We test drove 3 Fords-Edge, Taurus SHO, and Fusion Energi (plug-in hybrid).  We liked the Energi, but the trunk space made us walk away.  We are replacing a Fusion Hybrid, which has the tiniest trunk I ever saw...until the Energi.  Mr. Six needs to be able to carry a 6ft ladder when he goes on some site visits, and that car just won't cut it.  We also test drove the CX-5, which is my personal favorite at the moment.  Subaru test driving will be Saturday, and if there's time, Honda as well.  Again, thank you all for your help.

 

[Ijustwantsomechips]

22 hours ago, McManda said:

I was given this advice, too. Don't ask if they need help, because coming up with something or thinking about what they need is just another thing added to their plate. If you must ask, ask in a direct way: "what can I do for you?". If they don't know, tell them what you'd like to do for them. 

And maybe wait a week or so and then check in or bring dinner. There's a ton of concern and support until the funeral, and then people tend to move on. Which is understandable, but for those immediately left behind ... they don't get to move on quite so quickly. It's a tough adjustment to have your life thrown upside down so quickly.

That’s what I was trying to say about helping later, but I’m full of pain meds.  He may appreciate a dinner in a few weeks, or sending a cleaning service or a massage (worked wonders for my cousin). There will be days when it’s hard to get out the bed, let alone tend to housework.  

Edited October 16, 2018 by Ijustwantsomechips

[SunnyBeBe]

Thank you Westiepeach and I am so sorry for the recent loss of your FIL.

I appreciate all the messages of support and ideas. I found a lovely little burlap fabric gift bag with a pumpkin on it today.  I'm going to fill it with those assorted treats that I mentioned and top it off with a nice autumn flower and bow on it.  I'll give it to him tomorrow at some point. He's just him at the house now, except for the pets.  And, I'll promise him dinner one night this weekend and then, I'll inquire about the charitable donation. 

I'm not sure what is going on, because our family knows so many people who have passed away over the this past week and others who are not expected to live much longer. Most of it is due to cancer.   It's just heartbreaking as we enter this season of thanks and family celebrations.   

Edited October 16, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[Natalie68]

On 10/14/2018 at 8:39 PM, Scarlett45 said:

I own a 2 flat (or a duplex as they are called in certain parts of the country), and live on the second floor (my Mom and sister live downstairs), so he only has to navigate one floor. I have two litter boxes for three cats, I may get another. Of course I don’t want him in pain or suffering, but at 18 I’m not going to try to reinvent the wheel, I know somethings are just due to aging. I’ll keep you guys updated. At least I know I don’t have a leaky roof!!

What I did when I had an older cat who had torn her ACL and couldn't climb into a box after surgery was cover my spare bathroom in multi layers of trash bags and pour litter right on top.  Entire bathroom was a litterbox.  It worked quite well and when she was better she went back to using her box.

[Nysha]

The Billings police have asked for help regarding my sister. They are looking for anyone who might have seen the ex-boyfriend's pickup. Missing Person: Laura Johnson

[Mindthinkr]

2 minutes ago, Nysha said:

The Billings police have asked for help regarding my sister. They are looking for anyone who might have seen the ex-boyfriend's pickup. Missing Person: Laura Johnson

I tweeted it out for you. I pray that it helps. 

[Marshmallow Mollie]

5 minutes ago, Nysha said:

The Billings police have asked for help regarding my sister. They are looking for anyone who might have seen the ex-boyfriend's pickup. Missing Person: Laura Johnson

Heartbreaking. I am so sorry.

[Natalie68]

35 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

I tweeted it out for you. I pray that it helps. 

I did as well

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Nysha said:

The Billings police have asked for help regarding my sister. They are looking for anyone who might have seen the ex-boyfriend's pickup. Missing Person: Laura Johnson

I twitted it as well. (((Hugs)))

[SunnyBeBe]

Nysha, I'm so sorry to hear about your sister.  I hope there is news soon! My goodness, this must be so difficult for you. 

[Westiepeach]

4 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Thank you Westiepeach and I am so sorry for the recent loss of your FIL.

I appreciate all the messages of support and ideas. I found a lovely little burlap fabric gift bag with a pumpkin on it today.  I'm going to fill it with those assorted treats that I mentioned and top it off with a nice autumn flower and bow on it.  I'll give it to him tomorrow at some point. He's just him at the house now, except for the pets.  And, I'll promise him dinner one night this weekend and then, I'll inquire about the charitable donation. 

I'm not sure what is going on, because our family knows so many people who have passed away over the this past week and others who are not expected to live much longer. Most of it is due to cancer.   It's just heartbreaking as we enter this season of thanks and family celebrations.   

 

Thank you. I am only passionate about this now because of all the people that said “If there is anything I can do ...” Husband was stunned at all of the people that came to his father’s funeral mass. I told him that they came for HIM. They did not know his father; they knew HIM. So now he (and we) will do anything for you.

Two favorite stories. Please bear with me. I had told my work “husband” (love him to death!) that Husband’s father passed away. He of course did the “If there is anything I can do ...” I told him we were short pallbearers so dust off your suit.” The look on his face was priceless!

The second story was at the funeral mass. We were all sitting in the front row. The immediate family. The priest came down to us and said he was so sorry for our loss and named each one of us. Until he came to me. He clearly forgot my name. So he said, “Jim and Joe and Sue and John and ... You!”  

I had to laugh in Husband’s armpit. In church. 

So, that said, if someone dies, just do something. Don’t wait for someone to tell you what they need. They won’t. Just do SOMETHING. 

Edited October 16, 2018 by Westiepeach

[Minivanessa]

So this is really out of left field. But. Costco has a Business Center warehouse/store in our city. Sometimes they let regular non-biz members shop there, and this is one of those times. So today I went for the first time. It's obviously geared for food service and other commercial customers, which is cool. I found a few items I wanted that aren't carried in the regular Costco warehouses. Plus several items, food and household stuff, in the same packages that I often buy from Costco and was going to buy anyway.

As I said, it's geared for commercial customers, so most of the food is in big bulk packages. I was rolling along one aisle and came upon something that made me think of the gawdawful slop recipes of one Jill Duggar Dillard, which we've discussed over in that topic. Not sure if it would really be on topic over there, but here are the photos I couldn't resist taking. Ladies and gentlemen, for your consideration: the commercial sized 50 ounce cans of Campbell's Cream of [Something] soups:

 

I've noted that Jill's "feed a crowd" recipes don't call for these large sized cans of Cream of Something. You'd think that with JB being such a whiz biznessman and all, he'd figure out how to buy food in those bulk packages to have on hand at the TTH. But apparently old Jilly Muffin's used to just having the regular little retail can size. 

Yeah. I know. I need a life. Had planned to go see "A Star is Born" with a friend but she's sick with a bad cold so I got into mischief at Costco instead. It was a nice day to be out and about. 

[jennblevins]

Costco business centers are dangerous, especially the aisle of coffee shop supplies!  I can’t tell you how many things my husband has had to talk me out of buying. (“No, you don’t need 20 pounds of cilantro ... chef’s whites ... NSF shelving ... ten teapots ... a vending machine ...”). Thankfully their hours are limited, so we’re busy most of the time they’re open. 

[Scarlett45]

5 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

What I did when I had an older cat who had torn her ACL and couldn't climb into a box after surgery was cover my spare bathroom in multi layers of trash bags and pour litter right on top.  Entire bathroom was a litterbox.  It worked quite well and when she was better she went back to using her box.

Great idea thank you. 

[Minivanessa]

58 minutes ago, jennblevins said:

Costco business centers are dangerous, especially the aisle of coffee shop supplies!  I can’t tell you how many things my husband has had to talk me out of buying. (“No, you don’t need 20 pounds of cilantro ... chef’s whites ... NSF shelving ... ten teapots ... a vending machine ...”). Thankfully their hours are limited, so we’re busy most of the time they’re open. 

You're right about the danger! [Edited to add: I'm still laughing about your list of temptations, chef's whites, vending machine, teapots and all. Loved it!]

Besides all those cool shelving units, lol, they had some nice-looking commercial grade small appliances, including blenders. I resisted temptation fairly well today, but couldn't stop myself from buying a couple of 3 quart stainless steel mixing bowls at $1.49 each. 

Edited October 17, 2018 by Jeeves

[Triple P]

Take Home Chef Story

I mentioned on the Jill and Derick thread that my co-worker, Todd, was on Take Home Chef. Here are the details...all names have been changed to protect the innocent.

All of the "spontaneous" moments on the show are planned, which is probably not a surprise.

Todd's wife, Debbie, was having coffee with a friend when she was spotted by the talent scout. After she agreed to be on the show, the producer asked her about the special meals she likes to make. Of those, the producer selected the meal that is the most representative of our region - Dungeness crab, with some tweaks to the meal.

Despite how it plays on the show, the grocery store where Debbie shops is not her regular store, it is on the opposite side of Puget Sound from their house. Debbie pretends to select Kraft Mac and Cheese, as directed, which is not something she would typically buy (they are foodies and great cooks). 

After Curtis Stone "convinces" her that he can help her make a better dinner for her family and they go to the local fish market to buy crab. Debbie had to pretend to be intimidated by the idea of cooking crab. She said that they did a lot of takes until they were happy with her level of squeemishness. The crab was not actually purchased that day, the crew returned the next morning so that it would be fresh on cooking day.

While Debbie was shopping, Todd was at their home to let the crew set up the lights, blackout film, etc. The crew wanted to drill into the ceiling and walls for some of the setup, but Todd refused. He said they were a little pushy about it, but it didn't seem like it bothered the crew too much. However, in their episode, some of the shots are strangely lit because of this.

The following day, the production moved to Todd and Debbie's house. A prep chef took care of most of the preparation. Debbie said she stood around and waited until directed to come into shot and chop this or that. Several takes were needed for each scene.

Todd was at home the entire shoot, but for the premise of the show, they filmed him coming home and being surprised to find Curtis in his house. He is a really bad actor! ?

They said it was good experience overall, the food was good when they finally got to eat, that Curtis is very nice and hung out with them while they were waiting to shoot scenes, but they wouldn't do it again. 

[McManda]

I loved Take Home Chef! Curtis Stone made creme brulee in one episode and made it look easy enough that seventeen year old me decided to try and make it.

... it didn't turn out so well. I mean, it tasted fine but it never really set like it should have.

Wasn't there also a version that, instead of a chef, was a handyman? I feel like Andrew Dan Jumbo (of "While You Were Out") was the contractor that hung around Home Depot, but I could be mixing up my home reno shows.

Anyway, I always wanted to be picked for one. I knew they were fake enough, but I didn't care. I'd easily agree to hang out with Curtis Stone for a day. 

[Mindthinkr]

5 minutes ago, McManda said:

Curtis Stone

Eye candy. Who wouldn’t! 

[Catfin]

I’m in OKC a few days this week for work. I had a Duggar moment seeing a Pistol Pete on an OSU billboard. 

[andromeda331]

8 hours ago, jennblevins said:

Costco business centers are dangerous, especially the aisle of coffee shop supplies!  I can’t tell you how many things my husband has had to talk me out of buying. (“No, you don’t need 20 pounds of cilantro ... chef’s whites ... NSF shelving ... ten teapots ... a vending machine ...”). Thankfully their hours are limited, so we’re busy most of the time they’re open. 

Oh, yes it is. My family had to quit going there because we kept buying more then we need of everything. 

[lookeyloo]

10 hours ago, Triple P said:

Take Home Chef Story

I mentioned on the Jill and Derick thread that my co-worker, Todd, was on Take Home Chef. Here are the details...all names have been changed to protect the innocent.

All of the "spontaneous" moments on the show are planned, which is probably not a surprise.

Todd's wife, Debbie, was having coffee with a friend when she was spotted by the talent scout. After she agreed to be on the show, the producer asked her about the special meals she likes to make. Of those, the producer selected the meal that is the most representative of our region - Dungeness crab, with some tweaks to the meal.

Despite how it plays on the show, the grocery store where Debbie shops is not her regular store, it is on the opposite side of Puget Sound from their house. Debbie pretends to select Kraft Mac and Cheese, as directed, which is not something she would typically buy (they are foodies and great cooks). 

After Curtis Stone "convinces" her that he can help her make a better dinner for her family and they go to the local fish market to buy crab. Debbie had to pretend to be intimidated by the idea of cooking crab. She said that they did a lot of takes until they were happy with her level of squeemishness. The crab was not actually purchased that day, the crew returned the next morning so that it would be fresh on cooking day.

While Debbie was shopping, Todd was at their home to let the crew set up the lights, blackout film, etc. The crew wanted to drill into the ceiling and walls for some of the setup, but Todd refused. He said they were a little pushy about it, but it didn't seem like it bothered the crew too much. However, in their episode, some of the shots are strangely lit because of this.

The following day, the production moved to Todd and Debbie's house. A prep chef took care of most of the preparation. Debbie said she stood around and waited until directed to come into shot and chop this or that. Several takes were needed for each scene.

Todd was at home the entire shoot, but for the premise of the show, they filmed him coming home and being surprised to find Curtis in his house. He is a really bad actor! ?

They said it was good experience overall, the food was good when they finally got to eat, that Curtis is very nice and hung out with them while they were waiting to shoot scenes, but they wouldn't do it again. 

That is exactly how I envision a Counting On episode being filmed.  Scripted reality, many takes, etc.  Not a documentary and not a real representation of how they live.

[Minivanessa]

11 hours ago, Catfin said:

I’m in OKC a few days this week for work. I had a Duggar moment seeing a Pistol Pete on an OSU billboard. 

Me too. I visited family in Oklahoma last week. As we like to do, one day we visited the Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge, and of course stopped at Meers for burgers. As we were leaving the Meers restaurant/store, I noticed a couple of frames on the wall. One held a photo of Frank "Pistol Pete" Eaton and the other a collage with the story of his life. I grabbed a couple of photos, subpar because of glare and glass reflections:

I wondered if the "Pistol Pete" who autographed the big collage, was Derick, but this was the 2012-2014 PP. Derick graduated in 2011, so it was the next guy up, not Derick, who signed it. And who is probably the one in those photos.

[Christina87]

14 hours ago, Triple P said:

Take Home Chef Story

I mentioned on the Jill and Derick thread that my co-worker, Todd, was on Take Home Chef. Here are the details...all names have been changed to protect the innocent.

All of the "spontaneous" moments on the show are planned, which is probably not a surprise.

Todd's wife, Debbie, was having coffee with a friend when she was spotted by the talent scout. After she agreed to be on the show, the producer asked her about the special meals she likes to make. Of those, the producer selected the meal that is the most representative of our region - Dungeness crab, with some tweaks to the meal.

Despite how it plays on the show, the grocery store where Debbie shops is not her regular store, it is on the opposite side of Puget Sound from their house. Debbie pretends to select Kraft Mac and Cheese, as directed, which is not something she would typically buy (they are foodies and great cooks). 

After Curtis Stone "convinces" her that he can help her make a better dinner for her family and they go to the local fish market to buy crab. Debbie had to pretend to be intimidated by the idea of cooking crab. She said that they did a lot of takes until they were happy with her level of squeemishness. The crab was not actually purchased that day, the crew returned the next morning so that it would be fresh on cooking day.

While Debbie was shopping, Todd was at their home to let the crew set up the lights, blackout film, etc. The crew wanted to drill into the ceiling and walls for some of the setup, but Todd refused. He said they were a little pushy about it, but it didn't seem like it bothered the crew too much. However, in their episode, some of the shots are strangely lit because of this.

The following day, the production moved to Todd and Debbie's house. A prep chef took care of most of the preparation. Debbie said she stood around and waited until directed to come into shot and chop this or that. Several takes were needed for each scene.

Todd was at home the entire shoot, but for the premise of the show, they filmed him coming home and being surprised to find Curtis in his house. He is a really bad actor! ?

They said it was good experience overall, the food was good when they finally got to eat, that Curtis is very nice and hung out with them while they were waiting to shoot scenes, but they wouldn't do it again. 

Thanks for sharing this experience!!!! So cool! Gave me a chuckle because I know a Todd/Debbie mama's boy combo IRL...they ACT like husband and wife creepily! LOL!

[Nysha]

Thank you all for your support and reposts about my sister. This has truly been a horrible month. Besides my sister missing, my newborn grandson was in the hospital for over 2 weeks and we found out he has abnormalities with his heart and kidneys that indicate a missing chromosome. I also lost guardianship of my 7-year-old grandson, even though I've raised him for most of his life, to his abusive mother, who is smart enough not to leave bruises she can't rationally explain. Last weekend was my last mandated weekend visit and my little guy, who is on the autism spectrum, was upset all weekend because she told him he can't love both of us and if he doesn't choose to love her she'll die. But, according to CPS, it's not illegal in my state to be a bad parent and if there are no bruises, they don't want to hear about it.

[ginger90]

Oh Nysha I don’t even know what to say. 

[Scarlett45]

24 minutes ago, Nysha said:

Thank you all for your support and reposts about my sister. This has truly been a horrible month. Besides my sister missing, my newborn grandson was in the hospital for over 2 weeks and we found out he has abnormalities with his heart and kidneys that indicate a missing chromosome. I also lost guardianship of my 7-year-old grandson, even though I've raised him for most of his life, to his abusive mother, who is smart enough not to leave bruises she can't rationally explain. Last weekend was my last mandated weekend visit and my little guy, who is on the autism spectrum, was upset all weekend because she told him he can't love both of us and if he doesn't choose to love her she'll die. But, according to CPS, it's not illegal in my state to be a bad parent and if there are no bruises, they don't want to hear about it.

I’m so sorry. 

[zoomama]

48 minutes ago, Nysha said:

Thank you all for your support and reposts about my sister. This has truly been a horrible month. Besides my sister missing, my newborn grandson was in the hospital for over 2 weeks and we found out he has abnormalities with his heart and kidneys that indicate a missing chromosome. I also lost guardianship of my 7-year-old grandson, even though I've raised him for most of his life, to his abusive mother, who is smart enough not to leave bruises she can't rationally explain. Last weekend was my last mandated weekend visit and my little guy, who is on the autism spectrum, was upset all weekend because she told him he can't love both of us and if he doesn't choose to love her she'll die. But, according to CPS, it's not illegal in my state to be a bad parent and if there are no bruises, they don't want to hear about it.

this is truly sad.  i really dont even know what to say except that i am so very sorry you are on this path. no one deserves this, especially the little guy.

[Love2dance]

1 hour ago, Nysha said:

Thank you all for your support and reposts about my sister. This has truly been a horrible month. Besides my sister missing, my newborn grandson was in the hospital for over 2 weeks and we found out he has abnormalities with his heart and kidneys that indicate a missing chromosome. I also lost guardianship of my 7-year-old grandson, even though I've raised him for most of his life, to his abusive mother, who is smart enough not to leave bruises she can't rationally explain. Last weekend was my last mandated weekend visit and my little guy, who is on the autism spectrum, was upset all weekend because she told him he can't love both of us and if he doesn't choose to love her she'll die. But, according to CPS, it's not illegal in my state to be a bad parent and if there are no bruises, they don't want to hear about it.

My heart is breaking for you, your grandsons, and family. It is truly more than one should be expected to endure. So sorry.

Edited October 18, 2018 by Love2dance
Spelling

[EVS]

@Nysha I’m so sorry for everything you and your family are going through. 

[CherryMalotte]

 Oh boy Nysha you really have been hit hard again and again and I'm more sorry than I can say.  I'd give anything for that magic wand to make all our sorrows go away.  

I'm waiting for a phone call on our elderly grandpa grumpy ass cat's labs he had to have yesterday.  He's got a huge tumor inside him but due to age and a heart murmur he wouldn't be a great candidate for treatment or surgery.  Depending on the results we'll be able to gauge whether to let him go now or maybe a month or two from now.  It's really been awful, though he's not in any pain and being his normal yowly bad tempered self.  I'd like to have more time with him of course but I do not believe in letting them suffer or prolonging his life just for us.  He was born with his siblings on our back porch when we offered refuge to a very knocked up stray who I think was an abandoned pet.  We found homes at the time for mom and siblings but he, as the runt, was just special so he became ours.  I wish it was simple enough that he'd lay down, go to sleep, and have a silent kitty heart attack.  Funny how these creatures mean more to us than people...I'd take the companionship of one of my furried friends over most people any day of the week.  

[lookeyloo]

20 hours ago, Nysha said:

Thank you all for your support and reposts about my sister. This has truly been a horrible month. Besides my sister missing, my newborn grandson was in the hospital for over 2 weeks and we found out he has abnormalities with his heart and kidneys that indicate a missing chromosome. I also lost guardianship of my 7-year-old grandson, even though I've raised him for most of his life, to his abusive mother, who is smart enough not to leave bruises she can't rationally explain. Last weekend was my last mandated weekend visit and my little guy, who is on the autism spectrum, was upset all weekend because she told him he can't love both of us and if he doesn't choose to love her she'll die. But, according to CPS, it's not illegal in my state to be a bad parent and if there are no bruises, they don't want to hear about it.

@Nysha - that is just awful.  Maybe by some miracle that "mother" will get tired of having the little boy and you can get him back.  At least maybe.  

[Mindthinkr]

20 hours ago, Nysha said:

Thank you all for your support and reposts about my sister. This has truly been a horrible month. Besides my sister missing, my newborn grandson was in the hospital for over 2 weeks and we found out he has abnormalities with his heart and kidneys that indicate a missing chromosome. I also lost guardianship of my 7-year-old grandson, even though I've raised him for most of his life, to his abusive mother, who is smart enough not to leave bruises she can't rationally explain. Last weekend was my last mandated weekend visit and my little guy, who is on the autism spectrum, was upset all weekend because she told him he can't love both of us and if he doesn't choose to love her she'll die. But, according to CPS, it's not illegal in my state to be a bad parent and if there are no bruises, they don't want to hear about it.

My heart is breaking for you and you truly have my sympathy. 

 

25 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

@Nysha - that is just awful.  Maybe by some miracle that "mother" will get tired of having the little boy and you can get him back.  At least maybe.  

I’ll go for that option as well. 

I’m very sorry. Do you have a good support system? People with whom you can talk to and grieve? I’m worried about you. 

@CherryMalotte I’m sorry to hear about your grumpy cat and hope that you have more time together. 

[Nysha]

1 hour ago, CherryMalotte said:

'm waiting for a phone call on our elderly grandpa grumpy ass cat's labs he had to have yesterday.  He's got a huge tumor inside him but due to age and a heart murmur he wouldn't be a great candidate for treatment or surgery.  Depending on the results we'll be able to gauge whether to let him go now or maybe a month or two from now.  It's really been awful, though he's not in any pain and being his normal yowly bad tempered self.  I'd like to have more time with him of course but I do not believe in letting them suffer or prolonging his life just for us. 

I'm so sorry. It's hard to let go of our furbabies.

[galaxychaser]

Hugs and good wishes for you Nysha.

[Happyfatchick]

Oh @Nysha, you are just having the worst time.  It’s a good idea to keep one eye on that grandson - I feel like he’s coming back.  

My interesting moment this week: my 93 yr old aunt passed last weekend.  Which means ultimately, I ended up at an Amish funeral this week.  With my non-religious and extremely guarded husband.  I won’t share now because there’s so much going on here.  Let’s just say there’s lots of good story material here.

[Love2dance]

1 hour ago, Happyfatchick said:

Oh @Nysha, you are just having the worst time.  It’s a good idea to keep one eye on that grandson - I feel like he’s coming back.  

My interesting moment this week: my 93 yr old aunt passed last weekend.  Which means ultimately, I ended up at an Amish funeral this week.  With my non-religious and extremely guarded husband.  I won’t share now because there’s so much going on here.  Let’s just say there’s lots of good story material here.

Sorry about your aunt, but waiting excitedly to read your good stories when you are ready! 

[Totally]

2 minutes ago, Totally said:

Nysha 

I’m so sorry to hear about your Grandson, I have a child with ASD and my heart breaks for both of you

 

Edited October 19, 2018 by Totally
Stupidity

[doodlebug]

On 10/15/2018 at 11:15 PM, Ijustwantsomechips said:

That’s what I was trying to say about helping later, but I’m full of pain meds.  He may appreciate a dinner in a few weeks, or sending a cleaning service or a massage (worked wonders for my cousin). There will be days when it’s hard to get out the bed, let alone tend to housework.  

And, whatever else you do, let the family know how much you loved their lost member. A note, even a brief one, where you acknowledge their loss and remember good times is always appreciated. Tell them how your friend knew you loved chocolates and would always give you some on your birthday. Or her amazing garden that made you smile because it was so beautiful. Or how you loved her beautiful singing voice or her quirky sense of humor.  Give them a glimpse into your friendship and let them know she was special to you, too. A couple of lines can mean so much.

[Minivanessa]

@Nysha, I'm so sorry for your troubles. What a load to bear. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

[Jynnan tonnix]

Haven't said anything yet, @Nysha, because I literally don't even have the words to tell you how sorry I am that you - or anyone - should have to deal with so much grief at once. But I've been thinking of you all along.