Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[zoomama]

i will go back later and read all the 'bra' comments --  a real issue in my life too.

 

friends, i have had the stomach flu this past week and let me tell you it is no joke. i am on day 4.5 and finally holding down fluids. it has been miserable. even went and got a shot to help stop the vomiting and it did nothing.  so on that note, hope you all never get this version - it has knocked this old gal right on her booty.

[kokapetl]

So the wire isn't at the base of the cup, right next to the chest, buts it's sort of out a bit, at the meridian of the under boob to prevent sag? Can't they use some sort of mesh? Or even just some spandex?

[GeeGolly]

So the wire isn't at the base of the cup, right next to the chest, buts it's sort of out a bit, at the meridian of the under boob to prevent sag? Can't they use some sort of mesh? Or even just some spandex?

Both Koka. It's encased - kind of like the cording on an arm of a couch, or edge of a seat cushion.

 

Koka, maybe you can invent a comfy bra for us ladies?

[Almost 3000]

So the wire isn't at the base of the cup, right next to the chest, buts it's sort of out a bit, at the meridian of the under boob to prevent sag? Can't they use some sort of mesh? Or even just some spandex?

It is under the cup at the seam next to the chest.

ETA: Sorry Golly your response wasn't showing.

RE mesh/spandex. Companies like Spanx have been working with weaving machines to produce bras and panties with woven in support. Works well if you're DD or smaller but if bigger you don't get much lift or you might feel that there is an overall lack of support or modesty. Its a weight issue that seems to require a certain degree of uncomfortable rigging. I'm fine with nothing or an Ahh bra and if something shows, tuff you know whats.

Edited March 12, 2016 by Almost 3000

[kassygreene]

Underwire only has a chance of working if the cup size is big enough for the breast.  That way the underwire is against the chest wall instead of floating out under the breasts.  Off the rack bras rarely fit properly unless you are an off the rack size.

 

A good bra that fits correctly and doesn't fall apart is going to be expensive.  Especially since when you get one or two that fit right you wind up wearing only those and therefore wear them out faster.

 

And it is all still so much better than corsets.

[Missy Vixen]

Bras will stop them from flopping.

Dude. I haz F cups. The Elomi bras help me a lot. I hate the underwire, too, but theirs is encased in a very nice stretchy fabric that at least keeps me from tying them in a bow or throwing them over my shoulder. (Gravity is a bitch.) Plus, when I wear the bra, they end up in the approximate neighborhood they were once upon a time.

 

I work at home so I can let them free range most days, but if I went out in public without a bra, people would point and stare.

 

p.s. For the person that got stabbed with the underwire -- I am SO SORRY. I have had that happen, too with other brands. It hurts and I bled. So here's the deal. (And no, I don't work for Elomi.) Elomi's underwire is made with a soft plastic and the pockets are firmly sewn shut and comfortable fabric. I have a bra that is five years old (I take good care of them; this is a plunging type that I wear with only a couple of dressy tops) and the underwire is still hanging in there. In other words, the bra will wear out before the underwire fails.

 

IMHO, YMMV.

Edited March 12, 2016 by Missy Vixen

[Barb23]

Oh Zoomama, so sorry to hear about your stomach flu & glad to hear you're finally starting to hold down fluids. Maybe popsicles will be in your near future, they seem to work for me.I know where you are coming from -- I get bouts of vomiting caused by my wacky immune system or lack thereof. You feel too sick to go to the Drs or ER, if that makes sense. Just moving a blanket to get out of bed is a major accomplishment. Wishing you a speedy recovery & hope you get your strength back quickly : )

[Missy Vixen]

I should also mention that I am fortunate enough to be within 30 miles of two Nordstrom's. Nordstrom is renowned for their bra fitters. I understand $50 is a lot to pay for a bra, but I would pay twice that much (and have before) for a bra (or bras) that fit correctly, are comfortable and do what they're designed to do. The fitting part is FREE and offered every day Nordstrom is open for business.

 

If the underwire or centerpiece is gapping out, the bra doesn't fit correctly. If the girls aren't where they're supposed to be, the bra doesn't fit correctly. It also helps to bend a bit at the waist and flop those girls into place before pulling up the straps.

 

IMHO of course.

[Happyfatchick]

This conversation is HILARIOUS, and I'm pretty sure I started it! Baaahaaaa!!!

F cups!!! Those aren't boobs! You made me get on my knees and thank sweet baby Jaysus, and then look up my nearest Nordstroms. You know, we're all griping and trying to tame these old ladies, and LOTS of people pay big money to get them!

[CalicoKitty]

I repeat.  breastnest.com.  Total comfort.  They are coming out with a shorter style in a couple of weeks. (and no boob sweat!)

[lookeyloo]

Underwire only has a chance of working if the cup size is big enough for the breast.  That way the underwire is against the chest wall instead of floating out under the breasts.  Off the rack bras rarely fit properly unless you are an off the rack size.

 

A good bra that fits correctly and doesn't fall apart is going to be expensive.  Especially since when you get one or two that fit right you wind up wearing only those and therefore wear them out faster.

 

And it is all still so much better than corsets.

I so totally agree with this.

[Almost 3000]

Nordstrom's does do a good job at fittings. (Oprah said so) About 20 years ago I wanted a good bra that would work under white Ts. The District Manager of boob rangling fitted me. That woman could sell. I walked out with a $40 Donna Karan T because of course I had to a new crisp white T for my perfectly fitted new $70 t-shirt bra. While those prices may not seem to out of line today this was 20 years ago.

[crazycatlady58]

I wanted to say how much I have enjoyed this " bra" talk. For whatever reason I never had girlfriends where we sat down and had " girl talk", I had girlfriends we just never talked girl stuff. I feel like we have been sitting around the kitchen table with a few bottles of wine, just talking. I do feel a little bad for the guys though.

[Jellybeans]

Nordstroms. OMG. I guess I will have to travel. I never shop there, I pick up their shoes and put them down...wondering why anyone would pay over 2K for...shoes that look impossible to walk in.

I cannot go without wearing a bra even when I want to because it hurts and I would love to go without one. For many years I slept with my bra on because it drove me nuts having floppy things flopping on my chest on my sleep but I finally got used to them. Took me 40 years and I am 61 now.

HFC, you started this!

[Missy Vixen]

Jellybeans, they have a website where you can peruse part of the selection if you'd like ahead of time. They also have the most wonderful customer service ever. EVER. (And I don't work for them, either.) If you feel comfortable, it's possible to chat online with one of their customer service people about what they might have to offer re: style and construction of bras that will work and you'll be comfortable in.

 

If you all are all talked out on bras, maybe we should chat about menopause next. LOL (I picture some men running away from the computer. LOL)

[bigskygirl]

I remembered when they found a cyst near my left ovary, and I had to have surgery. I went to work to ask for time off for the surgery and a few weeks off after the operation. One of the male supervisors ask what I was going in for. I told him about it, and he got a look on his face and almost tripped over his feet running away from me to the office in the back of the store. My husband was on dialysis at the time, and he would joke I was having a female problem operation with the female dialysis unit nurses. I told him the number one female problem in the universe was men.

 

And on a totally different subject, don't forget to change your clocks ahead one hour before going to bed.

[Jynnan tonnix]

I wanted to say how much I have enjoyed this " bra" talk. For whatever reason I never had girlfriends where we sat down and had " girl talk", I had girlfriends we just never talked girl stuff. I feel like we have been sitting around the kitchen table with a few bottles of wine, just talking. I do feel a little bad for the guys though.

I'm the sort of person who (despite actually being extremely introverted) will talk about pretty much anything in a one-on-one situation, so "bra talk" in and of itself doesn't seem that far off the wall. I do have one friend with whom I've had conversations which would make this bra talk sound like commenting on the weather. No taboos! It's so great to have a person you can be that way with and have no concerns about being judged or saying something which will cause the other person discomfort.

[RedPonyDriver]

I get all my bras from Victoria's Secret. They fit me well. 38D floppy boobs here. They were floppy before kids and worse now. The REALLY shitty part is that no matter how much weight I lose, the boobs don't shrink AT ALL. Imagine Charles Atlas as a girl with boobs. That's me when my weight is down in a more "normal range". XL to XXL tops, size 10-12 bottoms (with no butt) and the tits blasting out my front. All those years of swimming and being big boned (thank you to the German side of the family) haven't done me any favors. At a heavier weight, I look more proportional. 

 

Started training today...kicked my @$$. 

[Jellybeans]

Victoria's Secret has another secret. She does not carry bras in big boob sizes. Boo hiss.

I am not overweight but my boobs are.

zoomama, I hope you are feeling better.

[CherryMalotte]

Late to the party as usual...

 

 

 

I didn't think boobs would slide down your body, but what do I know!

 

Honey, if I didn't wear a bra they'd drag on the floor.  I don't need underwire, I need a 2x4.  I didn't get their height but inherited my body type from my one grandma's side of the family.  They were all tall rawboned big breasted women that could plow, birth those babies, keep house, make meals from nothing, and show up to church on Sunday with all their children starched within an inch of their lives.  And they all married such scrawny looking little guys, which always made me giggle.  

 

 

 

I told him the number one female problem in the universe was men.

 

Amen sister.       

Edited March 13, 2016 by CherryMalotte

[zoomama]

today i am feeling much better.....staying home from church because...well just dont have the energy to get up and dressed. i recorded all kinds to 'flip' shows on DIY and HGTV yesterday since i have already watched almost everything i had backed up on the dvr. tomorrow, i will plant my berry garden into the ground and at least get that started. 

[allonsyalice]

I used to work at Victoria's Secret and that place is nuts. I'm on the smaller side, and they barely carry my size as well. I can't remember what the the biggest size I've seen there is, but it was probably a DD. 

Also, the true Secret is padding. lots and lots and lots of padding. (which is fun when you're my size, not so fun if you aren't.)

I'm gonna start making my own bras and bralettes, which is probably the only way I can ensure the correct fit every time.

[NewDigs]

I keep meaning to send away for this Jockey FitKit.

I'm small and love sports bras except for the frequent smooshed uni-boob look. And they ain't all that wonderful under t-shirts.

[crazycatlady58]

today i am feeling much better.....staying home from church because...well just dont have the energy to get up and dressed. i recorded all kinds to 'flip' shows on DIY and HGTV yesterday since i have already watched almost everything i had backed up on the dvr. tomorrow, i will plant my berry garden into the ground and at least get that started.

Glad to hear you are feeling better.

[emma675]

zoomama, get some Gatorade. After I stopped throwing up when I had the norovirus a few weeks ago I didn't feel 100% until I downed a bottle of Gatorade. My pcp said to keep a bottle in my pantry for the next time I'm sick, it helps your body replenish your electrolytes.

 

I have a week off soon and y'all have inspired me to hit up Nordstrom's for some new bras. I've lost over 40 pounds over the last year or so and none of my bras fit right anymore. Even my feet have shrunk, which pissed me off since I have some cute shoes that no longer fit.

[Love2dance]

 

friends, i have had the stomach flu this past week and let me tell you it is no joke. i am on day 4.5 and finally holding down fluids. it has been miserable. even went and got a shot to help stop the vomiting and it did nothing.  so on that note, hope you all never get this version - it has knocked this old gal right on her booty.

(Later post) today i am feeling much better.....staying home from church because...well just dont have the energy to get up and dressed. i recorded all kinds to 'flip' shows on DIY and HGTV yesterday since i have already watched almost everything i had backed up on the dvr. tomorrow, i will plant my berry garden into the ground and at least get that started..

So glad you are feeling better, zoomama. That sounded truly awful.

I'm sure your berries will be yummy!

[Love2dance]

zoomama,

 I have a week off soon and y'all have inspired me to hit up Nordstrom's for some new bras. I've lost over 40 pounds over the last year or so and none of my bras fit right anymore. Even my feet have shrunk, which pissed me off since I have some cute shoes that no longer fit.

Emma, if the shoes aren't sandals, buy some inexpensive foam insoles at any drug store or discount store and the shoes will be super comfy and fit just fine!

Congrats on the weight loss!

[Happyfatchick]

My mom has turned the corner to "actively dying". It has been an excruciating 24 hours in our little family's life. Last night in particular when she began to shut down, she was fighting for air and moaning every breath. She's getting morphine every 3 hrs now, and is just winding down. I have night watch and I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself. At the same time, I'm soooo ready or this to be over. I miss her already, but she's been gone for a long time. But she always been a scrapper, a fighter, so she's fighting it down to the wire. Completely non responsive. :((( You'd think I'd be locked, loaded and braced for this but I'm just feeling my way along like everyone else. My children are being spectacular - I just love them so much this minute, so proud. My oldest child is the "leader" among the cousins, everybody looks up to him. It's kind of cool to see the shift. (I'm rambling, does that even make any sense?). All the cousins were in Mama's room, sitting on various surfaces (and a few chairs) and I'm looking around going "wow. They ACTUALLY made it. All those snot-nosed little boogar-bears are really, truly adults. Adults!!! Look at them, talking adult decisions, raising children of their own, being grown ups, talking about adult things. It is amazing!"

And just when I was typing that about them, I got a text from my oldest son (not able to sleep because he knows I'm the night watchman and he's worried about me) saying he loves me. I've done so many many stupid things in my life, so many many things I'd like a do-over - but the kids: I done good. I'm just saying.

[Mrs. P.]

HFC, my heart goes out to you. My mother died over 15 years ago, and her final few days were excruciating to watch. Both of my brothers had already passed away, as had my father, so I was the one who sat with her to the end. She wasn't in pain, but she tossed and turned and moaned and called out my name until I thought my heart would break. I held her hand and told her that I was there and that I loved her over and over. As I wept, I told her what a wonderful mother she had been. She would quiet down for a few minutes, then the agitation would start again. I finally leaned down and whispered to her that it was okay for her to let go - that she could leave me and go join her beloved husband and sons, and she slipped away shortly afterwards.

Watching her struggle to die was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I realized that it was also an amazing privilege. I was allowed to be with her as she slipped from this life to the next, and I'm forever grateful for that.

Peace to you, Happy. What you are going through is incredibly hard, but it will be a precious memory for you in the years to come.

[crazycatlady58]

My mom has turned the corner to "actively dying". It has been an excruciating 24 hours in our little family's life. Last night in particular when she began to shut down, she was fighting for air and moaning every breath. She's getting morphine every 3 hrs now, and is just winding down. I have night watch and I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself. At the same time, I'm soooo ready or this to be over. I miss her already, but she's been gone for a long time. But she always been a scrapper, a fighter, so she's fighting it down to the wire. Completely non responsive. :((( You'd think I'd be locked, loaded and braced for this but I'm just feeling my way along like everyone else. My children are being spectacular - I just love them so much this minute, so proud. My oldest child is the "leader" among the cousins, everybody looks up to him. It's kind of cool to see the shift. (I'm rambling, does that even make any sense?). All the cousins were in Mama's room, sitting on various surfaces (and a few chairs) and I'm looking around going "wow. They ACTUALLY made it. All those snot-nosed little boogar-bears are really, truly adults. Adults!!! Look at them, talking adult decisions, raising children of their own, being grown ups, talking about adult things. It is amazing!"

And just when I was typing that about them, I got a text from my oldest son (not able to sleep because he knows I'm the night watchman and he's worried about me) saying he loves me. I've done so many many stupid things in my life, so many many things I'd like a do-over - but the kids: I done good. I'm just saying.

You are never ready for this, but you will get through it. You have family around you which is helpful. YOU DID GOOD!!

[Minivanessa]

I agree, HFC. You did good. And you're doing good.

[CherryMalotte]

My heart is with you HFC...I'll be having a good thought for you and your family.  You did more than good, you have been the best. 

[Barb23]

HFC -will be thinking of you & your family.

[Jellybeans]

HFC- thinking of you during this difficult time.

[emma675]

HFC, I'm thinking of you and your family. My grandmother died the same way--Alzheimer's and then her body just refused to let go at the end, so it took a while. I just wanted to tell her "just let go, it's okay!" and at the same time "please don't go!". It's a horrid situation, but sometimes the body just won't let them go as quickly as we (and they) want it to.

[Happyfatchick]

She is gone. I had a whole message typed, and lost it, of course. She fought like a rabid tiger till about 8-10 hours before the end. She relaxed and seemed more peaceful. At the very end, her breathing and (subsequent fighting) leveled out and she just lay there sleeping like me. Only less and less, and then - just about the time I called in the sitter... she just quit. She was breathing easily, and then...she wasn't. I couldn't believe it. My first words were "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???" She was just totally relaxed and at a peaceful place when she quit. She was a fighter pilot. I'm so so so proud she was my Mama and that she was able to have that peace at the end. ,

[Jellybeans]

HFC, my condolences. Hugs to you and your family.

[MargeGunderson]

HFC, my sympathy to you and your family. These aren't adequate words for this difficult time, but I wish you peace.

[Readalot]

A peaceful and relaxing end with her dedicated daughter. What a gift and a wonderful end to an amazing life. Please accept my hugs and condolences.

[crazycatlady58]

My thoughts are with you and your family. May her memory be eternal.

[scriggle]

My condolences, HFC.

[frenchtoast]

Deepest condolences, Happy. You did good...for your mom and for your kids. *Hugs*

[bigskygirl]

Condolences for you and your family Happy.

[Love2dance]

HAPPYFATCHICK, sending sympathy and hugs to you and your family. May your beautiful memories, your children, grandchildren, and the rest of your family comfort each other during this sad time. And, as others have already said, you did good! Thank you for sharing this journey with us....I have learned a lot from you.

Edited March 14, 2016 by Love2dance

[Westiepeach]

My deepest condolences to you and your family, HFC.

 

You did good.

[emma675]

HFC, full frontal hugs and condolences. It's over now and she's at peace with your daddy. 

[lookeyloo]

HFC - deepest sympathies to you and yours. It was a long journey - she would be proud of you - I am proud of you.

[kathe5133]

My sympathies HFC.  I'm sure your Mother is resting in peace.  You did the very best you could and she an your Father would be proud.

[NewDigs]

So very sorry, HFC, I hope you find some comfort and peace in these coming days.

Your strength is impressive and admirable.

Thank you for sharing your journey.

[Ownedbydogs]

HFC you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.