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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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I'm so sorry @CalicoKitty. It is the hardest and last loving thing you can do to figure out when to say goodbye to an animal friend. I type this with my 18.5 year-old kitty on my lap. We had to say goodbye to her two littermates three years ago. We took all three of them into our family when they were three weeks old and bottle-fed them. She is still going strong and now has a three year-old and a two year-old sister to love/be annoyed by. I read when we had to put down her littermates (within two months of each other) that you should leave things in the house that carry the scent of the kitties who are gone to help the one(s) who are left adjust to the fading of the missing cats' scent and help them realize their friends are gone. Broke my heart but I did it.

Related to our missing Arwen, I lost a good friend (26 days younger than me) ten months ago when her breast cancer returned and metastasized to her liver, spine, and brain. She was gone within a month. Cancer sucks.

Edited by jcbrown
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29 minutes ago, jcbrown said:

I read when we had to put down her littermates (within two months of each other) that you should leave things in the house that carry the scent of the kitties who are gone to help the one(s) who are left adjust to the fading of the missing cats' scent and help them realize their friends are gone. Broke my heart but I did it.

 

Thanks for this.  I have scrubbed out the litter boxes and filled them with clean litter because Maisie had made such a mess in them.  Her bed and toys are still here, and I will just leave them out for Lilly and whoever her new friend is to use.  Lilly seems a little lost tonight, and I'm sure it will be worse for her tomorrow.  I think adopting a new friend for her very soon will help her.  I know it will help me.

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1 minute ago, CalicoKitty said:

Thanks for this.  I have scrubbed out the litter boxes and filled them with clean litter because Maisie had made such a mess in them.  Her bed and toys are still here, and I will just leave them out for Lilly and whoever her new friend is to use.  Lilly seems a little lost tonight, and I'm sure it will be worse for her tomorrow.  I think adopting a new friend for her very soon will help her.  I know it will help me.

<<hugs>>

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22 hours ago, doodlebug said:

Churchoney said she was taking a break, no major health issues that she’s shared with us.  She did  tell us that she was raised in a manner similar to the Duggars  in a very strict fundamentalist family.  I think maybe she found this place brought back too many bad memories at times.

I completely understand if Churchoney needed to leave the group for her own peace of mind. But I sure do miss all the inside knowledge she shared with us about the fundy ways. I especially appreciated how she kept reminding us that we were only seeing the cleaned up tee vee version of their lives, not the real suppressive anti LGBTQ/education/other religious beliefs, etc., etc., that the Duggar kids are subjected to.

I hope Churchoney is doing well.

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8 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

Today is a sad day for me.  My 9-year-old calico cat had to be put down. Her photo is next to my name.  It was sort of unexpected; she had been having bad digestive issues for a while, and I had a sonogram done last week.  It showed an enlarged spleen, and she was put on antibiotics and and restricted diet, but I still had liquid poop all over my house.  Just sleeping in my lap would make me have to change my clothes.  I know she was not feeling well, so, after a discussion with the vet, I had her put down.  She went easily and peacefully, but I'm still very sad.  She was  absolutely the smartest cat I have had ever had, and she loved everybody.  She was a special girl, and a lot of people will miss her.  My other cat, who is NOT smart, was crying when I came home, so I'm sure she knows the score.  I guess I will be at the shelter one day next week.

I'm so sorry,

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I've been lurking again due to some health problems and feeling so much for those of you who have such challenges right now, but when @galaxychaser voiced the thought that perhaps @Arwen Evenstar has passed, I can't tell you how hard it hit me. She was always such a cheerleader for all of us. Even through her own illness, she encouraged me about mine. When I was mourning the death of a second brother in a year, she remembered the time when the first one died. This is a wonderful community of caring people and she was one of the best. The idea that we may have lost her makes me so sad. Big hugs and healing thoughts to all you and always, much love.

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40 minutes ago, jjane said:

I've been lurking again due to some health problems and feeling so much for those of you who have such challenges right now, but when @galaxychaser voiced the thought that perhaps @Arwen Evenstar has passed, I can't tell you how hard it hit me. She was always such a cheerleader for all of us. Even through her own illness, she encouraged me about mine. When I was mourning the death of a second brother in a year, she remembered the time when the first one died. This is a wonderful community of caring people and she was one of the best. The idea that we may have lost her makes me so sad. Big hugs and healing thoughts to all you and always, much love.

Talking about @Arwen Evenstar set me off too.  Like I said, my mom died of Ovarian cancer and I had so hoped Arwen could beat it.  When she posted about her liver, I knew things were not going in the right direction.  My mom's spread to her spine. It was quick after that. Maybe 2 months at most.  I was in a funk all day yesterday.  

It's also hard because we just don't know what happened to her.  I do think she passed and I know she is in a better place now...I hope she can feel that she is missed in our little corner here. 

I still hope she will pop back up again, though! 

Edited by Marigold
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someone said something similar earlier this week but i have already instructed my computer-savvy children to at least go here and fb to let everyone know when the Lord takes me home. no sense is just disappearing and no one knowing why.  i suppose i should also explain my genealogy sites to someone someday that may have an interest in the future.  another thought i wanted to share....i write a blog with the hope that i can share my thoughts and experiences with my grandchildren even after i am gone.  so what i do each year, in january, is upload it to a blog-book making site, order a hard copy to be mailed here and then it sits on my desk shelf waiting for the day when one of them is interested enough to read it.  i include photos and fun memories but i also share my real feelings on things too. i would have LOVED something similar from my mother or grandmothers. so, there's that....

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1 hour ago, zoomama said:

i would have LOVED something similar from my mother or grandmothers. so, there's that....

I have my great grandmother’s diary. She was very proper (meaning not a lot that surprised me or cause me to say “Oh my”) but I love picking it up and seeing what inspired her. That sounds like a great thing that you are doing Zoomama. 

Edited by Mindthinkr
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So around 7:30 am I had firefighters wake me up. Second fire on the roof in 2 diff spots. 

Last fire was 8/31/14 and now 4 years later again. I’m really really scared to live here. But I cannot afford to move anywhere. I’m crying and shaking.

in case I stop posting here know that I died. 

27 minutes ago, zoomama said:

someone said something similar earlier this week but i have already instructed my computer-savvy children to at least go here and fb to let everyone know when the Lord takes me home. no sense is just disappearing and no one knowing why.  i suppose i should also explain my genealogy sites to someone someday that may have an interest in the future.  another thought i wanted to share....i write a blog with the hope that i can share my thoughts and experiences with my grandchildren even after i am gone.  so what i do each year, in january, is upload it to a blog-book making site, order a hard copy to be mailed here and then it sits on my desk shelf waiting for the day when one of them is interested enough to read it.  i include photos and fun memories but i also share my real feelings on things too. i would have LOVED something similar from my mother or grandmothers. so, there's that....

Wonderful idea for the future generations to have! I so wish my mom kept a journal or even a recipe book. But she did not. It makes me sad that I won’t be able to cook like her.

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18 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

Today is a sad day for me.  My 9-year-old calico cat had to be put down. Her photo is next to my name.  It was sort of unexpected; she had been having bad digestive issues for a while, and I had a sonogram done last week.  It showed an enlarged spleen, and she was put on antibiotics and and restricted diet, but I still had liquid poop all over my house.  Just sleeping in my lap would make me have to change my clothes.  I know she was not feeling well, so, after a discussion with the vet, I had her put down.  She went easily and peacefully, but I'm still very sad.  She was  absolutely the smartest cat I have had ever had, and she loved everybody.  She was a special girl, and a lot of people will miss her.  My other cat, who is NOT smart, was crying when I came home, so I'm sure she knows the score.  I guess I will be at the shelter one day next week.

I’m so sorry.

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No the fires were on the roof of my building due to insulation/electric wires burning. I live in Brooklyn, ny. No wildfires here it’s nothing but concrete everywhere.

and I live alone so that sucks.

basically the same reason for both fires.

im going to let my cousins know if I die in a fire they better sue the landlord.

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3 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

I live in Brooklyn, ny.

Eek. I’ve heard of many people in NY who have problems due to absentee landlords as well as slum ones (not saying that you live in a slum. It’s more of how the landlord doesn’t do any upkeep so that eventually the building becomes dangerous and unsuitable.). I’m really sorry that you have to deal with this and I know that apts in the metro area can be quite pricey. I’ll pray for you. Do you have a good smoke alarm? A carbon monoxide one? Also consider a fire ladder for your window. They costs may save your life. 

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24 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

No the fires were on the roof of my building due to insulation/electric wires burning. I live in Brooklyn, ny. No wildfires here it’s nothing but concrete everywhere.

and I live alone so that sucks.

basically the same reason for both fires.

im going to let my cousins know if I die in a fire they better sue the landlord.

 Small world!  I work in Brooklyn.

What the heck is going on?  building in poor repair?  Landlords often don't treat their tenants with respect. 

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24 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

Eek. I’ve heard of many people in NY who have problems due to absentee landlords as well as slum ones (not saying that you live in a slum. It’s more of how the landlord doesn’t do any upkeep so that eventually the building becomes dangerous and unsuitable.). I’m really sorry that you have to deal with this and I know that apts in the metro area can be quite pricey. I’ll pray for you. Do you have a good smoke alarm? A carbon monoxide one? Also consider a fire ladder for your window. They costs may save your life. 

I have a fire escape I live on the top floor. At least this time I have no water damage. Just horrible smoke that burned my throat. I’m in the library trying not to freak out and wind up in the mental ward...

this is very very old building and the landlord does the bare minimum. 

5 minutes ago, Marigold said:

 Small world!  I work in Brooklyn.

What the heck is going on?  building in poor repair?  Landlords often don't treat their tenants with respect. 

The fire captain said the insulation caught on fire over the same apartment the second time. The apartment is next to mine. And this time there was also a fire over a second apartment down the hall. It’s electrical fire both times. I assume it’s due to cheap insulation and the hot hot summer.

the landlord in my opinion is cutting corners.

i feel bad for all the tenants from top to bottom floors that got severe water damage. The very attractive firemen did their job though.

Edited by galaxychaser
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@galaxychaser

Ugh, sorry.  that's so scary.  So many landlords are really horrible.  I don't want to sterotype but I can't help but notice.

I worked with a family in Cypress Hills once.  They had a tarp tent set up in the apartment due to a leaking roof. The water was draining off into a bucket. I made the appropriate calls. It was a one time visit so I never found out if the shitty landlord did something. 

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I've been catching up here and seeing the sad news about precious members  and previous pets. It sometimes seems so much, but, it's good to share.  I just wanted to say that I have a family member who was placed on Hospice last week.  She has end stage dementia, no cancer that we know of, but, is really declining.  I've never dealt with Hospice before, but, they seemed to be very supportive and I hope that my loved one will be as comfortable as possible until the end. She's in a Memory Care facility, so, she has a lot of care and support. 

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3 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I've been catching up here and seeing the sad news about precious members  and previous pets. It sometimes seems so much, but, it's good to share.  I just wanted to say that I have a family member who was placed on Hospice last week.  She has end stage dementia, no cancer that we know of, but, is really declining.  I've never dealt with Hospice before, but, they seemed to be very supportive and I hope that my loved one will be as comfortable as possible until the end. She's in a Memory Care facility, so, she has a lot of care and support. 

First I’m sorry to hear about your family member. I have worked for Hospice and it is full of wonderful caring people. A lot of us do it because we are nurturers and really try to do our best. She couldn’t be in better hands. They took care of my mother when she had Alzheimer’s and did a wonderful job. Welcome back. 

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That's good to hear.  I got a very good feeling meeting with the nurse, social worker and other team members. It's such a relief really.  The facility does a good job, but, I like having more eyes on her to make sure she's not in pain and is getting all that she needs. 

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13 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I like having more eyes on her to make sure she's not in pain and is getting all that she needs. 

I understand, but they really know what they are doing, and make sure that all measures are covered to make a person comfortable and not in pain. 

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That's so good to know, because, she's no longer verbal.  They explained their pain assessment for non-verbal patients and I feel comfortable with it. I think that she's already feeling better, just in the last couple of days. 

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My mother spent her last few weeks under the care of hospice, and as far as I'm concerned, those people are nothing but angels of mercy.  

Thoughts and prayers to everyone having a difficult time for whatever reason.  Things are not going particularly well here in the M family either, but it's actually better than last year.  Of course, the bar was set so low last year that a "better" year is still filled with difficulties.  

Sending positive thoughts and prayers to everyone for better days ahead.

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4 hours ago, Westiepeach said:

This might be a long shot, but has anyone tried sending Arwen a PM? In the hopes that Mr. Arwen logs on and sees it? I did think about it, but I didn’t want to do it if a bunch of us did already. 

That's a great idea!!!  I think a few of us sending a kind note might be really be welcomed by her husband. 

I will send a PM tomorrow.  

and, of course, still hoping that Arwen beat that cancer demon. 

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You have my complete sympathy CalicoKitty on the loss of your little calico soul mate...and when one door closes, the other door slaps open with a gale force wind right into your hind end, and lo and behold - a kitten reveals itself!  You were in the right place at the right time, and were meant to have the new little furjob in your life.  It's fate.

Arwen has been on my mind as well...maybe it's the upcoming changing of seasons and knowing this year will be ending sooner rather than later.  Wherever she is, in flesh or in spirit, I wish her peace.      

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@CalicoKitty

that's a great story!  That cat was meant to be yours.  Maybe your Maisie sent her to you, to comfort you.  Life can be so circular sometimes. 

 

18 years ago, my little precious poodle passed.  A few days later, an adorable little poodle was offered to me by my vet.  Clearly, she was meant to be!  She was a sweet girl until she passed from cancer a few years back.  Right now, we have no pets.  I have bad animal allergies and poodles are one of the only breeds I can tolerate.  The cost of a poodle is $$$$$$$.  

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4 minutes ago, Marigold said:

@CalicoKitty

that's a great story!  That cat was meant to be yours.  Maybe your Maisie sent her to you, to comfort you.  Life can be so circular sometimes. 

 

18 years ago, my little precious poodle passed.  A few days later, an adorable little poodle was offered to me by my vet.  Clearly, she was meant to be!  She was a sweet girl until she passed from cancer a few years back.  Right now, we have no pets.  I have bad animal allergies and poodles are one of the only breeds I can tolerate.  The cost of a poodle is $$$$$$$.  

Thank you @Marigold.  I appreciate you post so much.

Have you ever looked into a poodle rescue group?  I have a friend who  adopted a Westie through a rescue group, and was very happy.  I know there are breed-specific groups all over.  The cost is usually much lower than buying a purebeed from a breeder.  It's amazing how many good dogs and cats are homeless.

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8 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

Thank you @Marigold.  I appreciate you post so much.

Have you ever looked into a poodle rescue group?  I have a friend who  adopted a Westie through a rescue group, and was very happy.  I know there are breed-specific groups all over.  The cost is usually much lower than buying a purebeed from a breeder.  It's amazing how many good dogs and cats are homeless.

I didn't think there were any poodles who were homeless.   They are so expensive, I figured that no one ever lets them go!  That's a good idea, though.  I will look around.  I would take an adult dog.  Not too enamored with puppies, to be honest. 

How's the new cat doing?   I have a entire herd (?) of cats living in my backyard, under a big shed, next to the huge woods.  We haven counted 10 but I think there might be more. One looks pregnant!  I don't know one thing about cats but I feed them in the cold months.  I don't even know what wild cats eat but I figure the winter might get hard for them so I put out some cat chow on a paper plate. Right now, they look really fat to me so they must have found a food source in the woods, I guess. 

 

@galaxychaser  How are you?  I was thinking of you with the fire in your building.  

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Marigold, about the feral cats in your backyard.  I discovered that there are groups in some places who help with their care. They focus on humanely capturing them for vaccines and neutering. They are then released back to their neighborhood, if they aren't causing any problems, since they are rarely suitable for adoption to a home. That way, they can't keep breeding. They will also arrange for someone to feed them on a schedule. Your local ASPCA may know if there's one in your community. 

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2 hours ago, Marigold said:

I didn't think there were any poodles who were homeless.   They are so expensive, I figured that no one ever lets them go!  That's a good idea, though.  I will look around.  I would take an adult dog.  Not too enamored with puppies, to be honest. 

How's the new cat doing?   I have a entire herd (?) of cats living in my backyard, under a big shed, next to the huge woods.  We haven counted 10 but I think there might be more. One looks pregnant!  I don't know one thing about cats but I feed them in the cold months.  I don't even know what wild cats eat but I figure the winter might get hard for them so I put out some cat chow on a paper plate. Right now, they look really fat to me so they must have found a food source in the woods, I guess. 

 

@galaxychaser  How are you?  I was thinking of you with the fire in your building.  

I’m that person that feeds all stray cats, dogs, and the occasional fox in my neighborhood. Think of the bright side in this: you’ll never have mice.  The pregnant kitty could benefit from some kitchen chow now and after she has her babies. Not meaning to put you out, but you could buy that instead of adult cat food, and cheap stuff works fine too. They don’t care if it comes from the pet store or the dollar store.  The mom-to-be would also benefit from an old towel or blanket you no longer need for her kittens. They’ll need someplace warm.  I’ve had about fifty cats thanks to a super fertile cat I had as a kid.  I had to do this many times.  

So I just found out the homemade laundry detergent I’ve been using is from a Duggar recipe.  I don’t know if they ripped it off someone else (though I wouldn’t be surprised) or if it’s their own idea.  I hate to give them any kind of credit or accolades, but this stuff is a beast.  It works as good as Tide and Persil at a fraction of the cost. Anf ot tskes the smell out of anything. I guess they’re good for something afterall.   

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Hi everyone, it’s been forever since I posted here.  I only read a few pages back, so sorry about the speculation of Arwen’s passing. I remember her fondly. Fuck cancer. And speaking of, my dad was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a blood cancer earlier this year. He also has dementia. I’ve been his full time caregiver splitting time between his home and ours. I myself have had some health issues, still trying to figure out what’s going on. I had my gallbladder out and another procedure, it helped but still dealing with side pain. Happyfatchick, I’m glad your surgery was successful and hope you have a full recovery soon. And again, fuck cancer. Prayers to all as we go through our trials. 

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5 hours ago, Marigold said:

I didn't think there were any poodles who were homeless.   They are so expensive, I figured that no one ever lets them go!  That's a good idea, though.  I will look around.  I would take an adult dog.  Not too enamored with puppies, to be honest. 

How's the new cat doing?   I have a entire herd (?) of cats living in my backyard, under a big shed, next to the huge woods.  We haven counted 10 but I think there might be more. One looks pregnant!  I don't know one thing about cats but I feed them in the cold months.  I don't even know what wild cats eat but I figure the winter might get hard for them so I put out some cat chow on a paper plate. Right now, they look really fat to me so they must have found a food source in the woods, I guess. 

 

@galaxychaser  How are you?  I was thinking of you with the fire in your building.  

Petrified of living there. But due to current rents I cannot afford to move anywhere. Honestly I can’t even afford a room. $1000 for a room is not on my budget.

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@Readalot, so sorry to hear about your father and your own health problems. Bless you for taking care of your father. I know from experience how hard it can be when you have your own health issues. Please take care of yourself as much as you can. Full frontal hugs and prayers coming your way. Much love.

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5 hours ago, Marigold said:

I didn't think there were any poodles who were homeless.   They are so expensive, I figured that no one ever lets them go!  That's a good idea, though.  I will look around.  I would take an adult dog.  Not too enamored with puppies, to be honest. 

How's the new cat doing?   I have a entire herd (?) of cats living in my backyard, under a big shed, next to the huge woods.  We haven counted 10 but I think there might be more. One looks pregnant!  I don't know one thing about cats but I feed them in the cold months.  I don't even know what wild cats eat but I figure the winter might get hard for them so I put out some cat chow on a paper plate. Right now, they look really fat to me so they must have found a food source in the woods, I guess. 

 

@galaxychaser  How are you?  I was thinking of you with the fire in your building.  

Huh in my neighborhood there are a ton of feral cats. 2 ladies feed them. You are nice to do that.

Off topic I need opinions. Does this look okay for my moms headstone 

eternally loved missed remembered

im only allowed 40 characters spaces included. 

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5 hours ago, Marigold said:

I didn't think there were any poodles who were homeless.   They are so expensive, I figured that no one ever lets them go!  That's a good idea, though.  I will look around.  I would take an adult dog.  Not too enamored with puppies, to be honest. 

How's the new cat doing?   I have a entire herd (?) of cats living in my backyard, under a big shed, next to the huge woods.  We haven counted 10 but I think there might be more. One looks pregnant!  I don't know one thing about cats but I feed them in the cold months.  I don't even know what wild cats eat but I figure the winter might get hard for them so I put out some cat chow on a paper plate. Right now, they look really fat to me so they must have found a food source in the woods, I guess. 

 

@galaxychaser  How are you?  I was thinking of you with the fire in your building.  

I googled poodle rescue groups near me and a couple came up - in my area there is a good selection of poodles of various sizes and ages looking for a forever home.  So maybe google?

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