Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Happyfatchick]

I'm on the pc in my basement - my work room.  Did you ask how I got here?  Happy to oblige!  Here's what I do (did):  I took my little knee scooter to the edge of the back steps.  I butt scooted down and pulled that baby down with me one step at a time.  Got my knee on it in the grass and very gently (slowly) got around to the basement steps.  Sat on the steps and butt-scooted down one at a time dragging the scooter along one bumpy cement step at a time.  But I made it!!!  I've been working all morning and up to now.  My work chair scoots, so I stand on the good leg and transfer over and do my basement scooting in my chair.  I have 2 large(ish) seat orders, a bridesmaids dress to hem and my daughters wedding dress to finish before surgery Thursday.  With a big fat gimpy leg.  Can I DO it??  Watch me!  Oh, and Monday is pre-op junk all day.  So there you go.  Meanwhile, I've misplaced the unicorn.  Does anyone know who had it last??

Also, I have a mental visual for anyone who sews and has good ideas.  

My daughter didn't like the way her dress came together over a keyhole opening in the back.  They had simply gathered a more-or-less rectangular piece of lace to the two points and there was a long ribbon tie to join them.  She felt the gathered lace was bunchy and not attractive, and she hated the ribbon.  (The gathered lace looked a little like back boobs...)   With me so far?

I took the trim lace off, and cut the 2 rectangles into triangles, put the lace back on.  But of course, I weakened the points by removing all that bunched up fabric.  I added reinforcement underneath, just along the edging (under the trim lace).  Unfortunately, all that cut away has made the points of connection not QUITE meet.  It meets, but pulls a little.  I need less than a scant 1/2" right there.  In other words, it "will" pull together and her hair will cover it, but I'm not happy with it.  I put a hook there, but it makes the lacey points point upwards.  I should have taken a pic, but I didn't, sorry.  This is the last little detail on this dress for it to be perfect and I've been pondering for 2 weeks without an AHA! moment.  I bought pearl buttons but haven't done anything yet.  Add a hook?  [One of my thoughts is to do away with the "catch" for the hook - catch is on the left side - and make a string knot catch on top of the right point.  That's where I'm leaning...]   This kid is a size TWO (after four kids.  I know, RIIIIIGHT????)  I just don't want her dress to look like she's squeezed in.  It's no fair BEING that size already but looking like your mom made up something to make it fit right.  Waiting for inspiration.  Someone give me something please!

[lookeyloo]

14 minutes ago, Happyfatchick said:

I'm on the pc in my basement - my work room.  Did you ask how I got here?  Happy to oblige!  Here's what I do (did):  I took my little knee scooter to the edge of the back steps.  I butt scooted down and pulled that baby down with me one step at a time.  Got my knee on it in the grass and very gently (slowly) got around to the basement steps.  Sat on the steps and butt-scooted down one at a time dragging the scooter along one bumpy cement step at a time.  But I made it!!!  I've been working all morning and up to now.  My work chair scoots, so I stand on the good leg and transfer over and do my basement scooting in my chair.  I have 2 large(ish) seat orders, a bridesmaids dress to hem and my daughters wedding dress to finish before surgery Thursday.  With a big fat gimpy leg.  Can I DO it??  Watch me!  Oh, and Monday is pre-op junk all day.  So there you go.  Meanwhile, I've misplaced the unicorn.  Does anyone know who had it last??

Also, I have a mental visual for anyone who sews and has good ideas.  

My daughter didn't like the way her dress came together over a keyhole opening in the back.  They had simply gathered a more-or-less rectangular piece of lace to the two points and there was a long ribbon tie to join them.  She felt the gathered lace was bunchy and not attractive, and she hated the ribbon.  (The gathered lace looked a little like back boobs...)   With me so far?

I took the trim lace off, and cut the 2 rectangles into triangles, put the lace back on.  But of course, I weakened the points by removing all that bunched up fabric.  I added reinforcement underneath, just along the edging (under the trim lace).  Unfortunately, all that cut away has made the points of connection not QUITE meet.  It meets, but pulls a little.  I need less than a scant 1/2" right there.  In other words, it "will" pull together and her hair will cover it, but I'm not happy with it.  I put a hook there, but it makes the lacey points point upwards.  I should have taken a pic, but I didn't, sorry.  This is the last little detail on this dress for it to be perfect and I've been pondering for 2 weeks without an AHA! moment.  I bought pearl buttons but haven't done anything yet.  Add a hook?  [One of my thoughts is to do away with the "catch" for the hook - catch is on the left side - and make a string knot catch on top of the right point.  That's where I'm leaning...]   This kid is a size TWO (after four kids.  I know, RIIIIIGHT????)  I just don't want her dress to look like she's squeezed in.  It's no fair BEING that size already but looking like your mom made up something to make it fit right.  Waiting for inspiration.  Someone give me something please!

I do sew and quilt and I understand your description but I don’t have any good suggestions. Can you put some fabric under the cut out sort of like the part of a fly that goes under the zipper?  Or did you describe doing that and I didn’t understand. Remember when anyone said their kids got a rip in something and the ever present solution was to appliqué a strawberry over it?  

[CherryMalotte]

My thoughts are all of you having health bullshit problems right now...you all are a bunch of rock stars for dealing with those types of issues for sure.   I've been fortunate so far with my own health, just little stupid shit that's tolerable with pills.  And, I could stand to lose a bunch of weight.  A lot of weight.  I think it's like my smoking, I'm just going to have to reach that point where I say that's enough, and then commit.  I have to do it on my own as well, I don't want to do WW or any of those programs...they might be helpful for others but I know it wouldn't work for me.  Getting more exercise is a big component for me, having the same sit down kind of work for nigh thirty years cushions your ass big time.  I'll get there sooner than later.  I hate hate hate hearing my doctor nag at me, she' s lovely really but when she starts in she sounds a lot like my mom did, and I have to say that's one aspect of my mom's personality I haven't missed! 
 

Quote

[One of my thoughts is to do away with the "catch" for the hook - catch is on the left side - and make a string knot catch on top of the right point.  That's where I'm leaning...

I think you are barking up the right tree with this...it'll hardly be seen and is a good solution.  I am really dim bulbed today though - is this the same daughter that was stuck doing that missionary work?  If it is I'm glad to hear she shed his ass - I do remember the bit about how they split but didn't realize that they'd divorced.  I must be missing a post somewhere...

  

[Happyfatchick]

I came back to gripe because I got a text from the same friend who bailed on dog sitting when we were on vacay.  I had to share.  We’ve been friends since good Lord, FOREVER!   And ever, amen.  

She (along with her sister and daughter) had long ago agreed to serve at the reception after my daughters wedding.  For money, not for free.  She doesn’t have much income so I always take care her that way when I need extra hands.  And I always pay her very well.  We were talking about other things, but I reminded her of its fast approach and asked if she’d ever gotten hard commitments from sister or daughter.

Oh yeah, she says, I meant to tell you - I have a dog sitting job that weekend I committed to and really need to keep.  

I’m trying to take care of deets like this before I come home with my new hardware in my leg ... and truthfully, I’m not even angry.  But my eyes DID stick at the top when I understood she was standing up yet another commitment to ME for a dog sitting gig - when she blew me off on that same thing before.  

Lesson learned.  

[jcbrown]

5 minutes ago, Happyfatchick said:

I came back to gripe because I got a text from the same friend who bailed on dog sitting when we were on vacay.  I had to share.  We’ve been friends since good Lord, FOREVER!   And ever, amen.  

She (along with her sister and daughter) had long ago agreed to serve at the reception after my daughters wedding.  For money, not for free.  She doesn’t have much income so I always take care her that way when I need extra hands.  And I always pay her very well.  We were talking about other things, but I reminded her of its fast approach and asked if she’d ever gotten hard commitments from sister or daughter.

Oh yeah, she says, I meant to tell you - I have a dog sitting job that weekend I committed to and really need to keep.  

I’m trying to take care of deets like this before I come home with my new hardware in my leg ... and truthfully, I’m not even angry.  But my eyes DID stick at the top when I understood she was standing up yet another commitment to ME for a dog sitting gig - when she blew me off on that same thing before.  

Lesson learned.  

Just wow. I guess you are learning how (un)reliable she is the hard way.

[Sew Sumi]

Well, she saved you some money. Looks like she has an aversion to yours all of a sudden. Better to know so you don't have to waste time asking her to help you out with whatever in the future.

[galaxychaser]

2 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

I came back to gripe because I got a text from the same friend who bailed on dog sitting when we were on vacay.  I had to share.  We’ve been friends since good Lord, FOREVER!   And ever, amen.  

She (along with her sister and daughter) had long ago agreed to serve at the reception after my daughters wedding.  For money, not for free.  She doesn’t have much income so I always take care her that way when I need extra hands.  And I always pay her very well.  We were talking about other things, but I reminded her of its fast approach and asked if she’d ever gotten hard commitments from sister or daughter.

Oh yeah, she says, I meant to tell you - I have a dog sitting job that weekend I committed to and really need to keep.  

I’m trying to take care of deets like this before I come home with my new hardware in my leg ... and truthfully, I’m not even angry.  But my eyes DID stick at the top when I understood she was standing up yet another commitment to ME for a dog sitting gig - when she blew me off on that same thing before.  

Lesson learned.  

I wouldn’t ask her to do jobs for you anymore. 

[Love2dance]

5 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

I came back to gripe because I got a text from the same friend who bailed on dog sitting when we were on vacay.  I had to share.  We’ve been friends since good Lord, FOREVER!   And ever, amen.  

She (along with her sister and daughter) had long ago agreed to serve at the reception after my daughters wedding.  For money, not for free.  She doesn’t have much income so I always take care her that way when I need extra hands.  And I always pay her very well.  We were talking about other things, but I reminded her of its fast approach and asked if she’d ever gotten hard commitments from sister or daughter.

Oh yeah, she says, I meant to tell you - I have a dog sitting job that weekend I committed to and really need to keep.  

I’m trying to take care of deets like this before I come home with my new hardware in my leg ... and truthfully, I’m not even angry.  But my eyes DID stick at the top when I understood she was standing up yet another commitment to ME for a dog sitting gig - when she blew me off on that same thing before.  

Lesson learned.  

It is so heartbreaking when a good, good friend disappoints you so badly. But she is showing you who she is, now, and I sure wouldn’t count on her for anything again. I’m so sorry, I know it hurts.

[Mindthinkr]

@Happyfatchick Disappointments, especially when they come from someone who you expect better from, really hurt the heart. I’m sorry for your loss (helping hands) and hope that you can make some new arrangements before the wedding. You have a lot going on and I hope everything works out with as little stress as possible. I’d send a fairy (or help myself for free) if I could. 

[Nysha]

I realized I tend to defend the Duggar girls & Anna quite a bit. In truth, I see a lot of myself in them and I feel sorry for them. I was raised in an abusive Christian home and even though I'm 55 and haven't lived at home since I was 18, I still react in ways reminiscent of how I was raised. I was raised to never disobey, disagree, or show any emotion but acceptance towards authority, especially men. Even now, if I am unexpectedly asked a question by any man or a woman in authority, my first response is to panic and my second is to try to figure out what the person wants me to say. 

I was the second child and the oldest girl in my home. My brothers were catered to by my mom and my stepfather worshipped the ground upon which his daughters walked. I was blamed for everything. If I could prove I didn't actually do something, then it was my fault for not stopping the child who did do it. If I didn't admit to my sin & repent, my punishment was doubled. To this day, I apologize for everything, my fault or not. I will even come up with an explanation as to why something is actually my fault so you don't get mad at me since anger equals punishment in my subconcious brain.

I work on these reactions daily, but after 37 years of living away from my parents, it's still a struggle. The Duggar kids and Anna are still enmeshed in the cult lifestyle, which has brainwashed them to believe their only hope of getting to heaven is to believe the literal Bible and a bunch of Gothard hogwash. I not only have an immense amount of empathy for them, I know how hard it is to go against what you were brainwashed to believe. That's why I defend them and applaud their tiny steps toward independence.

[Love2dance]

4 hours ago, Nysha said:

I realized I tend to defend the Duggar girls & Anna quite a bit. In truth, I see a lot of myself in them and I feel sorry for them. I was raised in an abusive Christian home and even though I'm 55 and haven't lived at home since I was 18, I still react in ways reminiscent of how I was raised. I was raised to never disobey, disagree, or show any emotion but acceptance towards authority, especially men. Even now, if I am unexpectedly asked a question by any man or a woman in authority, my first response is to panic and my second is to try to figure out what the person wants me to say. 

I was the second child and the oldest girl in my home. My brothers were catered to by my mom and my stepfather worshipped the ground upon which his daughters walked. I was blamed for everything. If I could prove I didn't actually do something, then it was my fault for not stopping the child who did do it. If I didn't admit to my sin & repent, my punishment was doubled. To this day, I apologize for everything, my fault or not. I will even come up with an explanation as to why something is actually my fault so you don't get mad at me since anger equals punishment in my subconcious brain.

I work on these reactions daily, but after 37 years of living away from my parents, it's still a struggle. The Duggar kids and Anna are still enmeshed in the cult lifestyle, which has brainwashed them to believe their only hope of getting to heaven is to believe the literal Bible and a bunch of Gothard hogwash. I not only have an immense amount of empathy for them, I know how hard it is to go against what you were brainwashed to believe. That's why I defend them and applaud their tiny steps toward independence.

My heart breaks for you. Thank you for sharing why we should have at least a little more empathy for the Duggar girls.

I hope you are finding acceptance and love in your adult life. Hugs.

[lookeyloo]

5 hours ago, Nysha said:

I realized I tend to defend the Duggar girls & Anna quite a bit. In truth, I see a lot of myself in them and I feel sorry for them. I was raised in an abusive Christian home and even though I'm 55 and haven't lived at home since I was 18, I still react in ways reminiscent of how I was raised. I was raised to never disobey, disagree, or show any emotion but acceptance towards authority, especially men. Even now, if I am unexpectedly asked a question by any man or a woman in authority, my first response is to panic and my second is to try to figure out what the person wants me to say. 

I was the second child and the oldest girl in my home. My brothers were catered to by my mom and my stepfather worshipped the ground upon which his daughters walked. I was blamed for everything. If I could prove I didn't actually do something, then it was my fault for not stopping the child who did do it. If I didn't admit to my sin & repent, my punishment was doubled. To this day, I apologize for everything, my fault or not. I will even come up with an explanation as to why something is actually my fault so you don't get mad at me since anger equals punishment in my subconcious brain.

I work on these reactions daily, but after 37 years of living away from my parents, it's still a struggle. The Duggar kids and Anna are still enmeshed in the cult lifestyle, which has brainwashed them to believe their only hope of getting to heaven is to believe the literal Bible and a bunch of Gothard hogwash. I not only have an immense amount of empathy for them, I know how hard it is to go against what you were brainwashed to believe. That's why I defend them and applaud their tiny steps toward independence.

Surely appreciate what you have shared. Not easy to live through - our friend churchhoney posted very similar and what you have written does explain why it is not likely they will “break free” - too much history and no one they think they can trust plus the fear of losing everything familiar. It is daunting. And while we find their beliefs and lifestyle repugnant it is all they know.  Maybe one day one of them will move further (or farther?) afield. Not holding my breath. 

[Jeeves]

6 hours ago, Nysha said:

I realized I tend to defend the Duggar girls & Anna quite a bit. In truth, I see a lot of myself in them and I feel sorry for them. I was raised in an abusive Christian home and even though I'm 55 and haven't lived at home since I was 18, I still react in ways reminiscent of how I was raised. I was raised to never disobey, disagree, or show any emotion but acceptance towards authority, especially men. Even now, if I am unexpectedly asked a question by any man or a woman in authority, my first response is to panic and my second is to try to figure out what the person wants me to say. 

I was the second child and the oldest girl in my home. My brothers were catered to by my mom and my stepfather worshipped the ground upon which his daughters walked. I was blamed for everything. If I could prove I didn't actually do something, then it was my fault for not stopping the child who did do it. If I didn't admit to my sin & repent, my punishment was doubled. To this day, I apologize for everything, my fault or not. I will even come up with an explanation as to why something is actually my fault so you don't get mad at me since anger equals punishment in my subconcious brain.

I work on these reactions daily, but after 37 years of living away from my parents, it's still a struggle. The Duggar kids and Anna are still enmeshed in the cult lifestyle, which has brainwashed them to believe their only hope of getting to heaven is to believe the literal Bible and a bunch of Gothard hogwash. I not only have an immense amount of empathy for them, I know how hard it is to go against what you were brainwashed to believe. That's why I defend them and applaud their tiny steps toward independence.

Thank you for sharing this. I'm so sorry that you were subjected to such abuse. It's wonderful that you're an empathetic person who has moved beyond the limitations of your upbringing, but I'm sorry it's still a struggle. 

I wasn't abused as a kid, but I was reared by people with pretty strong authoritarian ideas, and have had struggles of my own as an adult when it comes to reactions to authority figures. 

I really appreciate your bolded comment. These days, I'm usually just irritated as hell when people post silly comments like "So, it would be cool if JD and Abbie move away from Arkansas and tell JB to pound sand," and other similar nonsense speculations about other of the Duggar kids. And there's chitchat about it, like there's a snowball's chance in hell that any Duggar kid would break away in any meaningful sense. As you said, they are well and truly brainwashed. Sure, I thought that marrying Derick would widen Jill's horizons, but I never believed for a hot minute that would change any of her basic beliefs. 

I also think that people tend to read too much into what the adult married Duggars are wearing. Jill's nose stud, bared shoulders, and jeans, and Jinger's no longer frumpy wardrobe, don't mean jack. It's just surface stuff, young women who are pleasing their headships, and themselves, by choosing clothes for themselves that weren't an option when they were at the TTH. Sure, JB and Michelle yakked in those THs about their "modest" clothing, but that was a great way to fill airtime while distracting attention away from the truth about their harsh fundie Christian beliefs. 

Maybe people think it's possible that one of the kids will do a Breaking Duggar thing, because TLC has done such a soft sell on the Duggars. They've normalized them. They've presented them as offbeat, quaint, religious, "a little bit different" from most families. But the TLC shows have ignored the Gothard/ATI/IBLP world in which the Duggars live and breathe. Not a word about Gothard, or the Pearls. I think Jill once let slip a comment about Boob's long term plan to have a tribe of his descendants living around him, just a hint that very few people would understand the implications of. Most people who've heard of the family, I think, just think it's a nice extra-large very well-organized family that goes to church and reads the Bible a lot. 

Whew. Sorry for the long rant. I just have to roll my eyes, exhale, and pass to the next forum when I see an outbreak of silly speculation that any Duggar kid would "break free." 

ETA: I'm not sure anyone posted exactly that comment above about JD and Abbie, but it's that kind of thing that I'm talking about.

Edited August 27, 2018 by Jeeves

[Happyfatchick]

6 hours ago, Nysha said:

 Even now, if I am unexpectedly asked a question by any man or a woman in authority, my first response is to panic and my second is to try to figure out what the person wants me to say. 

Your post hurts my heart a little.  A LOT.   I too grew up in a strict authoritarian environment, but that you recognize this is why you still have the reactions you do (as an adult) is actually very enlightening to me.  Very very illuminating.  I’ve done this my whole life (tried to make global warming and 9/11 my fault).  And never examined that maybe my childhood impacted me so negatively.  The heavens just opened and I swear, angels are singing.  Not that I’m probably going to change (knocking on 60), but why didn’t I ever connect those dots before?

thank you so much for sharing that!!  

ps:  I too seem to defend them and that’s probably why I don’t read the other threads too much

Edited August 27, 2018 by Happyfatchick

[bigskygirl]

I was abused but not in a Christian or strict authoritarian environment. My mother told me more than once she wished she never had me, I destroyed her life, and she would have been better off without me. My dad and I were close, but he decided one day he did not want to be a husband and a father, so he stepped away and left me with a mother who had some serious mental problems and probably did only wanted at least one of children away to take care of her because she felt abandoned after her own bad childhood. Please do not get me wrong, I feel bad for my mom because she had a crappy childhood, but I should not have been expected to take care of her and my older brother and sister because she was being selfish and in reality wish she never had me. My brother will be 59 in October and never ever lived on his own. I have been told my than once I was suppose to be the good daughter and take care of the both of them and take care of my sister also. I still to this day get blamed for their problems. I told my counselor if I was never born they still would have turn out the way they did. I try my best not to let the anger eat me up, but it is hard to do at times. I have cut myself off from them for my physical and most importantly my mental health. I do not hate them, but I do not love them. I feel sorry for them.

I feel bad for the Duggars children especially the four girls who were molested by their brother and their idiot parents did not get them the help the deserve. I do not care for their views, and I am not impressed about the small steps they have taken like wearing pants, or moving away from the family. I would rather they go out and help others instead of just thinking of themselves. Sadly the brainwashing has been done, and it will take a lot for the brainwashing to be reversed.

[Nysha]

10 minutes ago, bigskygirl said:

I try my best not to let the anger eat me up, but it is hard to do at times. I have cut myself off from them for my physical and most importantly my mental health.

I'm sorry you had an abusive childhood, but I'm glad that you were able to separate yourself from your family. A close friend of mine fell for the "you're supposed to be the good daughter and take of your mother" who was mentally ill and verbally abusive. She's my age and her mother just passed away. She has spent her entire adult life spinning around this awful woman to the point that she has fibromyalgia, severe depression, and the self-esteem the size of a gnat. 

[bigskygirl]

37 minutes ago, Nysha said:

I'm sorry you had an abusive childhood, but I'm glad that you were able to separate yourself from your family. A close friend of mine fell for the "you're supposed to be the good daughter and take of your mother" who was mentally ill and verbally abusive. She's my age and her mother just passed away. She has spent her entire adult life spinning around this awful woman to the point that she has fibromyalgia, severe depression, and the self-esteem the size of a gnat. 

I am sorry you went through a lot too. {{{HUGS}}} I know someone who still lives at home with her mother and takes care of her. Her mother runs her life, and she has the self-esteem the size of a gnat. She is so desperate for love she ends up dating losers or thinks if a guy shows her a little attention she is in love. It got to the point where I cannot stand to be around her either. She treats people the way her mother treats her. I try to suggest counseling, but she thinks counseling is for weak people. I hate to think what will happen when her mother does die. I do not have the strength or the patience to drop everything to help her anymore. I use to feel guilty about it, but now I do not.

[Sew Sumi]

@bigskygirl, you have to take care of yourself first. It's not your fault that this woman doesn't take good advice that would improve her quality of life. She's an adult; let her figure it out for herself.

[Temperance]

I'm sorry for the people who had tough (and abusive) childhoods. @Nysha and @bigskygirl I feel for you.  

I actually wouldn't be surprised if some of the Duggars start moving away when the money dries up, but that's for another thread. 

[magpye29]

Hugs and prayers to @Mindthinkr, @Nysha, @bigskygirl, and @Happyfatchick.  I hope things get better for all of you.

I don't know if any of the Duggars will ever go rogue.  I haven't gone into huge detail about growing up in my family, but the fact that I have PTSD (diagnosed by at least four different therapists) should tell you what you need to know.  Anyway, I was woefully unprepared for real life as a real grownup.  I lived with my parents till I was 25 because I had no idea how to make it on my own.  When my parents and I had a huge fight and my father was threatening to punch me (I don't even remember what the fight was about), I ran out to my car to leave and my mother jumped into the passenger seat and left the door open with her leg hanging out so I couldn't drive away.  My boyfriend at the time basically gave me an ultimatum:  move out or our relationship was over.  I did move out and we did get married (and are still married nearly three years after he dumped me).  I think about it now and I'm so embarrassed for myself, but I never really did get the hang of "adulting," as my daughter says. 

Anyway, I just don't think breaking away is something the Duggars could ever do.  I still can't make a complete break from my mother, even though the relationship is so toxic.  Yesterday was the first time I've seen or spoken to her since my daughter's wedding a month ago (even though my mother lives exactly half a mile away on the same street I do), and our conversation mainly consisted of her asking me if she'd left a jacket in my car and me saying it was somewhere in my apartment.  I don't wish her ill, but I have nothing to say to her.  My aunt came upstairs the other night for dinner, and then we watched a movie on Netflix.  The whole time, I kept thinking I should call my mother, but I just wouldn't do it because I don't have anything for her.  I'm perfectly happy being at a distance.  My husband says I should cut her some slack because she's trying to be nicer, but I feel like it's too little, too late.  I'm happier this way.

[Mindthinkr]

I can relate to so much of what y’all are sharing here and my heart bleeds for your innocences being ripped from you by difficult parents. I just tried to write to you about myself but it just hurts too much to share. I am tickled pink that everyone has overcome so much and the beauty of how all of you care so much despite what you have lived through. I feel blessed to have found everyone here. 

[MonicaM]

It doesn't help that the Duggar offspring are not only tied to a religion, but their very livelihoods depend on sticking with JB and his religious beliefs.  It saddens me to read about the personal experiences of people on this forum, but it seems that each of them were able to break away because there was a path to financial independence.  I'm not saying a path to wealth, but definitely a way to keep a roof over your head and food on the table.

As long as JB is able to keep everyone dependent on him financially, I seriously doubt anyone will go rogue, at least not publicly.  However, when the money runs out it won't be surprising if there are several "tell all" books and talk show appearances soliciting sympathy and money to help deal with their painful past.

[bigskygirl]

1 minute ago, MonicaM said:

It doesn't help that the Duggar offspring are not only tied to a religion, but their very livelihoods depend on sticking with JB and his religious beliefs.  It saddens me to read about the personal experiences of people on this forum, but it seems that each of them were able to break away because there was a path to financial independence.  I'm not saying a path to wealth, but definitely a way to keep a roof over your head and food on the table.

As long as JB is able to keep everyone dependent on him financially, I seriously doubt anyone will go rogue, at least not publicly.  However, when the money runs out it won't be surprising if there are several "tell all" books and talk show appearances soliciting sympathy and money to help deal with their painful past.

I can see Jessa, Jill or even Jinger doing it if Jeremy highly suggest it. Smugs may do it in order to get sympathy, but I think people will see through his bs.

I have joke around about writing a book about the experiences of dealing with my husband's illness and how to deal with a pain in the behind family and in-laws.

[ChiCricket]

Just thought I'd share a meme I made, of my son and granddaughter walking to her new school on the first day.

   They just moved to Germany. The school's on base, so he's allowed to be in uniform to take her.

(I *think* it's called a meme) ?

[bigskygirl]

Awww... Love it! Thank your son for his service.

[Happyfatchick]

@ChiCricket:  AWWWWWWWWW❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

That’s all I can say about that!!!!!

a share (not as good as @ChiCricket, but funny...)

y'all know my daughter is getting married in a couple weeks.  She texted after my pre-op junk today to see what the doc had said.  This is what I sent back:

He’s so CUUUUTE to me.  Not a big guy, Cambodian and ALWAYS smiling.  “How you DOING??” ?.  “You feel ok “ ?.  “No wedding for you, I’m sorry” ?. “Oh, you lose leg.  It’s going to be good, k? You understand?  Cut leg off, ok?” ?

[GeeGolly]

For all of you that had tough childhoods: I see you and I hear you.

For all of you that had tough childhoods: It's not your fault your parents parented poorly. 

For all of you that had tough childhoods: I have such respect for you.

For all of you that had tough childhoods: Your parents' version of you is not accurate.

For all of you that had tough childhoods: Please accept my hugs and love.

[GeeGolly]

I came back to add - 

I usually share this with a drawing so I hope I can get the message through in minimal words without pictures.

First I draw a picture of a child - you then. Then I draw a picture of an adult - you now. Then I draw a picture of child-you standing behind adult-you, peaking around and holding onto adult-you's legs. Adult-you is hugging child-you.

Remember when you're stuck and struggling you have a different voice now and adult-you can help protect and heal child-you.

Edited August 27, 2018 by GeeGolly

[latetotheparty]

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I came back to add - 

I usually share this with a drawing so I hope I can get the message through in minimal words without pictures.

First I draw a picture of a child - you then. Then I draw a picture of an adult - you now. Then I draw a picture of child-you standing behind adult-you, peaking around and holding onto adult-you's legs. Adult-you is hugging child-you.

Remember when you're stuck and struggling you have a different voice now and adult-you can help protect and heal child-you.

I love you so hardcore. 

[GeeGolly]

12 minutes ago, latetotheparty said:

I love you so hardcore. 

And I love you right back.

[Happyfatchick]

I feel left out

[Jynnan tonnix]

3 minutes ago, Happyfatchick said:

I feel left out

I think everyone here loves you to the moon and back already!

[Happyfatchick]

❤️❤️❤️

[Happyfatchick]

My surgery is day after tomorrow.  It’s no big deal (someone once said to me “the difference between major surgery and minor surgery is whether it’s being done to you or to me”).   But I’d appreciate the strength of your vibes all pointing in my direction anyway.  I’m reeeeeeeally tired of one-foot life.  I do love this group soooo much.

My son (who is the funniest person on the planet) had to pick up his nephew (my grandson), who’s 12, and take him to school yesterday.  When he got there, the grand was sitting at the kitchen table, no shoes, not ready.  Son says go get your shoes on, let’s GO!  (Nephew is incredibly lazy, manipulative, and not generally much fun.... kind of Eyeore).  He says “I left my book bag in mamas car.  And I didn’t sleep at all last night, and I don’t feel good.  There’s no point in going without my book bag, I won’t be able to do anything all day without it”.  Son says, GO!  Go get ready, you’re going to school!!  Lazy starts whining and campaigning about how dumb it is to go to school without the bag.  Son calls his sister and puts her on speaker phone.  Lets her tell Lazy to Get.In.The.Car and GO TO SCHOOL.  Son hangs up, and Lazy says “Wha’d she say?”  Son is irritated and starts clapping his hands and yelling “COME ON!!!  LETS GO!!!  YOU’RE GOING TO SCHOOL, DUDE!!”

so they get in the car and are on the way.  Lazy is pouting and looking out the window... Son (who has a billion songs in his library) turns on “Let it Go” and starts belting it out at the top of his lungs.  He saw Lazy get a hint of a smile, so he finds “Get Over It” and sings THAT out loud.  Loudly.  They arrive at school, but are held up in line by someone who isn’t moving forward as they should be.  While they’re waiting, this woman gets out of her car, opens the back door and starts blasting at a kid in the back seat, hands on hips.  Son switches to Ebonics (he’s bilingual) and says “boy, you better get yo ass out this car right now, I don’t care WHERE you left yo book bag!!!”.  And with THAT, Lazy perked up and laughed.

[bigskygirl]

Got to love kids! Good luck with your surgery. Ask for the good drugs.

[galaxychaser]

I’m watching true blood. Such a good show and so addicting.  Everyone is so attractive lol.

 

Good  vibes to all who are having health issues. 

[Love2dance]

Sending you good vibes @Happyfatchick for a completely successful surgery and quick recovery. (Is dancing at your daughter’s wedding too much to ask?  ?) 

Thanks for the fun morning story. I have the perfect grumpy granddaughter for your moody grandson.

[latetotheparty]

6 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

I feel left out

Oh baby, I’ve loved you FOREVER. 

39 minutes ago, Love2dance said:

Sending you good vibes @Happyfatchick for a completely successful surgery and quick recovery. (Is dancing at your daughter’s wedding too much to ask?  ?) 

Thanks for the fun morning story. I have the perfect grumpy granddaughter for your moody grandson.

There’s always chair dancing!

[ChiCricket]

Went to two different stores today. One cashier was named Miracle and the other was named Fairy.
? My thought process was that one had fundie parents and the other had hippies.?

[Happyfatchick]

Good morning all!  

I wasn’t going to post today because I’ve been hogging so much space lately, but @ChiCricket‘s post made me think about really odd names (and I have one, so I feel completely at ease snarking about names...).  I once worked with a girl named “Holiday”.  Because she was conceived in a Holiday Inn, so she explained.  I’ve also known someone named Secret (for fairly obvious reasons).  And (one of my faves) I was looking for office help once, and my son sent a friend of his to apply.  He told me her name was Peaches, but he assumed it was a nickname, since “Peaches” sounded like a strippers professional title.  When I spoke with her, I said “I guess Peaches is a nickname. What is your given name?”  And she looked at me without blinking and said, “ No ma’am, it’s not a nickname.  My real name is Peaches”.   There are others.  I hope @ChiCricket has sparked a fun discussion on names - but this has to be the real deal - someone you know personally or have actually met, not the Lemonjello or La-Dasha urban legends.

many many moons ago, my cousin and I had a pretty lucrative business hand painting personalized baby/children items (hair bows, trinket boxes, etc).  And we once got an order and split it for twins named Atrinka and Adrinka.  Not even kidding.  

[Happyfatchick]

p.s. I’m also curious:  I try to clear out my open tabs on my iPad and iPhone regularly because it seems to slow search speed.  But once in a blue moon, I accidentally hit something that makes all my recent GOOGLE searches pop up. (And there are always about 50 because I’m a curious girl.  This is a different circumstance than when you touch the double square “open” box in the corner.   I’d like to clean that out occasionally but don’t know how to find it on purpose.  (I’m techno impaired).  I want to know just For google.  Anyone know how to do that on an iPhone?

[allonsyalice]

33 minutes ago, Happyfatchick said:

p.s. I’m also curious:  I try to clear out my open tabs on my iPad and iPhone regularly because it seems to slow search speed.  But once in a blue moon, I accidentally hit something that makes all my recent GOOGLE searches pop up. (And there are always about 50 because I’m a curious girl.  This is a different circumstance than when you touch the double square “open” box in the corner.   I’d like to clean that out occasionally but don’t know how to find it on purpose.  (I’m techno impaired).  I want to know just For google.  Anyone know how to do that on an iPhone?

Im not wholly sure what you’re talking about but I think what you’re going to want to do is go into your settings, scroll to find Safari, and in there, clear your history and website data. that should clear everything!

[latetotheparty]

2 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

p.s. I’m also curious:  I try to clear out my open tabs on my iPad and iPhone regularly because it seems to slow search speed.  But once in a blue moon, I accidentally hit something that makes all my recent GOOGLE searches pop up. (And there are always about 50 because I’m a curious girl.  This is a different circumstance than when you touch the double square “open” box in the corner.   I’d like to clean that out occasionally but don’t know how to find it on purpose.  (I’m techno impaired).  I want to know just For google.  Anyone know how to do that on an iPhone?

My brother knows how to do this. I will ask him if he WILL EVER CALL ME BACK.

[louannems]

I once knew a man whose given name was Ricky.  His nickname was Rick!

[Nysha]

A friend of mine let her little boys choose their new brother's name and they picked Tarzan. 2 different friends of my kids have named their sons Tidus after a video game. And my sister's SILs are twins named Lavina and Davina whose nicknames are Lovey and Dovey.

[BitterApple]

1 minute ago, Nysha said:

And my sister's SILs are twins named Lavina and Davina whose nicknames are Lovey and Dovey.

That's actually really cute. Are the twins old enough to where they either love or hate their names?

[Nysha]

They're in their 50s and I've never asked them how they feel about their names.

[Happyfatchick]

I am SO crazy busy, trying to finish up an order (with no plan B...).  I also have to he. A bridesmaid dress for a different wedding this weekend.  But hey.  (I don’t actually have a “but hey...” I just like to say it)

so because I’m obviously twitching, I had to come back to tell something else funny my son did.  (Should have seen this one coming).  The other day, we all met in the woods (the venue) and were working on sound, setup, all that jazz.  (I seriously rode over there on my lawnmower.  LIVE PD!!!).  My SON is in charge of the music.  The music list.  The set.  He’s playing it for his sister (the bride) while she’s working on a pallet bridge.  Orchestrated music (this is for early arrivers).  The music is wafting thru the trees and sounds lovely.  And then.

Tammy Wynette starts with “MY D-I-V-O-R-C-E Will be fi-nal tooo-day...”

I have no clue where he gets that evil streak

Edited August 29, 2018 by Happyfatchick

[Ijustwantsomechips]

On 8/25/2018 at 1:50 PM, CherryMalotte said:

My thoughts are all of you having health bullshit problems right now...you all are a bunch of rock stars for dealing with those types of issues for sure.   I've been fortunate so far with my own health, just little stupid shit that's tolerable with pills.  And, I could stand to lose a bunch of weight.  A lot of weight.  I think it's like my smoking, I'm just going to have to reach that point where I say that's enough, and then commit.  I have to do it on my own as well, I don't want to do WW or any of those programs...they might be helpful for others but I know it wouldn't work for me.  Getting more exercise is a big component for me, having the same sit down kind of work for nigh thirty years cushions your ass big time.  I'll get there sooner than later.  I hate hate hate hearing my doctor nag at me, she' s lovely really but when she starts in she sounds a lot like my mom did, and I have to say that's one aspect of my mom's personality I haven't missed! 
 

I think you are barking up the right tree with this...it'll hardly be seen and is a good solution.  I am really dim bulbed today though - is this the same daughter that was stuck doing that missionary work?  If it is I'm glad to hear she shed his ass - I do remember the bit about how they split but didn't realize that they'd divorced.  I must be missing a post somewhere...

  

@CherryMalotte good luck with the weight loss. I’m in the same place too. I eat too much and move too little.  And since I’ve ready invested in a Bowflex and Total gym that I don’t use (they’re both awesome by the way), I refuse to shell out anymore money.  Lately the combination of alkaline water from Whole Paycheck and WalMart and Walk away the Pounds has really been working.  I’ve also cut back on my carbs significantly, and no fast food. I knocked off about 8 lbs in 2 weeks.  I won’t reach my goal before my fibroid surgery in two weeks, but every little bit helps.  

Edited August 29, 2018 by Ijustwantsomechips

[Mindthinkr]

@Happyfatchick I wish you success on your surgery tomorrow. I hope that it all goes well for you and you have a speedy recovery.