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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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I didn't have any prep for my endoscopy. But I did have the prep for the colonoscopy done the same time. They used propofol. I can see why Michael Jackson liked it. I don't know what else they used but I wasn't awake and didn't remember anything. I asked them for some to take home but they were not amused.

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I'm on deadline so I have been (allegedly) writing. Allegedly.

 

I haven't gone to any concert that wasn't free (i.e., in the local park) for a long time now. We either can't get tickets or don't want to spend over $100 for nosebleed seats. We don't go to sporting events, either. Let's face it, with the advent of HD flat screen TV's, it's more fun to watch from one's couch. I know where the bathroom is, the food's better, and I don't have to pay $50 to park the car.

 

We're in the Seattle area. There's a very good chance that the rural farming community we live in will be cut off from everyone by flooding by tomorrow. Which should (allegedly) be a great excuse to get some writing done. Allegedly.

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I've had a busy weekend, and a busy week so far, and still more ahead of me. Just popped in to say I hope everyone is feeling well or at least dealing with the holiday season in good spirits. I don't have time to catch up my reading today either, so I'm just praying all is mostly well with everyone. Miss you guys.

I do need to say: GUESS WHO CAME EARLY AND SURPRISED THIS OLD LADY????? My DIL was bugging the crap out of me this morning about my schedule for today, I was about ready to tell her to BUZZ OFF, but finally agreed to meet her at my other sons house for lunch (ulterior motive being the baby...). Ran by there, went straight to the kitchen to wash my hands, and when I came out, my grandchildren were all standing there with my daughter!!!!!!! I peed myself a little!!! I said later, I've cried buckets, I've missed them so so so much - and yet, you never really KNOW how big the hole in your heart is until you SEE them again. My jaw dropped to my knees and I yelled a VERY intelligent: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?????

NOTE TO SELF: Proofing before sending Is our friend

Ohhhhhhh, HAPPYFATCHICK, I have been hoping for this post from you for such a long time. What wonderful news! Are they here to stay? What an amazing December this has been for you. Soooooo happy for you.

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I've had a busy weekend, and a busy week so far, and still more ahead of me. Just popped in to say I hope everyone is feeling well or at least dealing with the holiday season in good spirits. I don't have time to catch up my reading today either, so I'm just praying all is mostly well with everyone. Miss you guys.

I do need to say: GUESS WHO CAME EARLY AND SURPRISED THIS OLD LADY????? My DIL was bugging the crap out of me this morning about my schedule for today, I was about ready to tell her to BUZZ OFF, but finally agreed to meet her at my other sons house for lunch (ulterior motive being the baby...). Ran by there, went straight to the kitchen to wash my hands, and when I came out, my grandchildren were all standing there with my daughter!!!!!!! I peed myself a little!!! I said later, I've cried buckets, I've missed them so so so much - and yet, you never really KNOW how big the hole in your heart is until you SEE them again. My jaw dropped to my knees and I yelled a VERY intelligent: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?????

NOTE TO SELF: Proofing before sending Is our friend

Oh, HFC, what a great surprise!!! I wish my grandchildren would all show up one day as a surprise. Enjoy your visit--roll around in the joy. ;)

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I've had a busy weekend, and a busy week so far, and still more ahead of me. Just popped in to say I hope everyone is feeling well or at least dealing with the holiday season in good spirits. I don't have time to catch up my reading today either, so I'm just praying all is mostly well with everyone. Miss you guys.

I do need to say: GUESS WHO CAME EARLY AND SURPRISED THIS OLD LADY????? My DIL was bugging the crap out of me this morning about my schedule for today, I was about ready to tell her to BUZZ OFF, but finally agreed to meet her at my other sons house for lunch (ulterior motive being the baby...). Ran by there, went straight to the kitchen to wash my hands, and when I came out, my grandchildren were all standing there with my daughter!!!!!!! I peed myself a little!!! I said later, I've cried buckets, I've missed them so so so much - and yet, you never really KNOW how big the hole in your heart is until you SEE them again. My jaw dropped to my knees and I yelled a VERY intelligent: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?????

NOTE TO SELF: Proofing before sending Is our friend

Oh Happy! That is wonderful!! I know you won't waste a minute!!!!

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Thanks All. I appreciate all the responses. RPD how is your husband doing now? Other than the needed tests has his quality of life improved? I could of sworn they said a camera down my throat AND barium. Hopefully I can remember to call the hospital. If it's just the barium other than expected side effects I think I can handle it and would schedule it. Zoomama the "pouring out" is what I'm afraid of. I had that for four/five days straight with the MRI contrast (I had to stay home) and then a bathroom run within thirty minutes of eating. Kathe5133 I need to research Vercid. It sounds like it's a sedative? Sedatives make me freak out (I did a colonoscopy with NO sedatives). DangerousMinds do you mind sharing your prep? MissyVixen stay dry and safe! And last but not list HFC I'm beaming with joy for you and your family!

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Versed is an anesthetic adjunct and a short acting benzodiazepine so it will make you sleepy and make you not remember the procedure. They use propofol in addition to the Versed which is a lovely combo, you sleep and you aren't freaked out. And you wake up within seconds of the medication being turned off. So much less hangover than the old drugs.

Upper GI and the barium swallow are only the barium which tastes foul yea but it constipated me so not like the oral contrast they use with CT scans.

The endoscopy is also pretty easy, which is the camera. I didn't even have a sore throat after mine last month. Even the biopsy didn't bother me after the fact.

But the colonoscopy is a tool of the devil...well the prep anyway. What a foul thing.

Edited by Chicklet
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Well, I had a busy day today.  I went to work as a substitute teacher's aide yesterday, and today they offered me a full-time job (this is the Catholic school where my daughter attended first and half of second grade, so they knew me from bout 17 years ago).  Then I came home and my husband told me he's ending our marriage after 29 years.  He had already told his relatives and our daughter, and he told our son tonight.  Right now  I feel devastated, because while I fully deserve this, I didn't see it coming.  I hate myself.  I'm not suicidal, but this is the first time in my life I've ever thought anything was worse than being dead.  Please pray for us.  I've been crying for hours, and I don't know how I'm going to get through my work day tomorrow.

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Well, I had a busy day today. I went to work as a substitute teacher's aide yesterday, and today they offered me a full-time job (this is the Catholic school where my daughter attended first and half of second grade, so they knew me from bout 17 years ago). Then I came home and my husband told me he's ending our marriage after 29 years. He had already told his relatives and our daughter, and he told our son tonight. Right now I feel devastated, because while I fully deserve this, I didn't see it coming. I hate myself. I'm not suicidal, but this is the first time in my life I've ever thought anything was worse than being dead. Please pray for us. I've been crying for hours, and I don't know how I'm going to get through my work day tomorrow.

Magpye - how awful and I would say "I know exactly how you feel" but that is poor form so I won't. I will tell you that husband #1 took me to a restaurant on our anniversary to tell me he didn't love me anymore and was moving out (into the arms of the girlfriend) and then got angry because I "embarrassed" him by getting upset in public. So yes I have a clue and it sucks. You will do a lot of crying. There is loss and grief situation going on. If you can find a therapist please do so. And really you don't believe it now, but time will help. Sending cyber hugs.

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Well, I had a busy day today.  I went to work as a substitute teacher's aide yesterday, and today they offered me a full-time job (this is the Catholic school where my daughter attended first and half of second grade, so they knew me from bout 17 years ago).  Then I came home and my husband told me he's ending our marriage after 29 years.  He had already told his relatives and our daughter, and he told our son tonight.  Right now  I feel devastated, because while I fully deserve this, I didn't see it coming.  I hate myself.  I'm not suicidal, but this is the first time in my life I've ever thought anything was worse than being dead.  Please pray for us.  I've been crying for hours, and I don't know how I'm going to get through my work day tomorrow.

 

Oh Magpye congratulations on the job but I am so, so incredibly sorry about the announcement from your husband. I know you said you deserve it but you don't deserve the pain that I know you must be in right now, and you most certainly didn't deserve to be practically the last to hear the news. I know it will be hard but please take the best care of yourself that you can.  Eat food, drink water, sleep (at least try), connect/reconnect with family and friends when you feel up to it, exercise if that's something that helps you focus or relax, do hobbies that occupy your mind for awhile. I also second the recommendation of going to see a therapist. Cyber hugs from me, too.

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My BIL is holding his own following his heart surgery. They did 4 bypass grafts and did lazer treatment to his heart to increase blood flow to his heart. Because of his severe short term memory loss the hospital wants one of us by his side 24/7, since Sunday ive done a 14 and a 13 hour shift, I'm on again tonight. I'm glad I can help.

Well, I had a busy day today. I went to work as a substitute teacher's aide yesterday, and today they offered me a full-time job (this is the Catholic school where my daughter attended first and half of second grade, so they knew me from bout 17 years ago). Then I came home and my husband told me he's ending our marriage after 29 years. He had already told his relatives and our daughter, and he told our son tonight. Right now I feel devastated, because while I fully deserve this, I didn't see it coming. I hate myself. I'm not suicidal, but this is the first time in my life I've ever thought anything was worse than being dead. Please pray for us. I've been crying for hours, and I don't know how I'm going to get through my work day tomorrow.

Hugs to you magpye.

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Readalot - he's doing very well! He's diabetic but at least that's manageable and won't turn into cancer. He's been totally complication free since surgery (this surgery is complicated and has a high complication rate...it's a last-ditch sort of thing). He goes for bloodwork, MRI and CT w/contrast once a year to keep tabs on any scar tissue forming and see how his vitamin levels are due to the lack of pancreas. 

 

Magpye - I am so sorry. Hugs to you. 

 

Brian - glad to hear your BIL is on the mend. 

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Great news HFC! A real Festivus Miracle!

Has anyone heard from Burlsa lately? She was going through some pretty intense medical stuff.

I'm still here and alive. I lurk now, not comfortable posting much. But I am here. :)

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Versed is an anesthetic adjunct and a short acting benzodiazepine so it will make you sleepy and make you not remember the procedure. They use propofol in addition to the Versed which is a lovely combo, you sleep and you aren't freaked out. And you wake up within seconds of the medication being turned off. So much less hangover than the old drugs.

Upper GI and the barium swallow are only the barium which tastes foul yea but it constipated me so not like the oral contrast they use with CT scans.

The endoscopy is also pretty easy, which is the camera. I didn't even have a sore throat after mine last month. Even the biopsy didn't bother me after the fact.

But the colonoscopy is a tool of the devil...well the prep anyway. What a foul thing.

Oy--all this colonoscopy talk is making me feel guilty. I need to go do one. Even Mr. SometimesBites had a baseline, and he is, uh...squeamish about medical procedures. My best friend works in the endoscopy lab and the female doc who's best is just wonderful. Okay--putting it on my New Year's resolution list. I'll just think about the fabulous sedation.

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Oy--all this colonoscopy talk is making me feel guilty. I need to go do one. Even Mr. SometimesBites had a baseline, and he is, uh...squeamish about medical procedures. My best friend works in the endoscopy lab and the female doc who's best is just wonderful. Okay--putting it on my New Year's resolution list. I'll just think about the fabulous sedation.

The old fiber optic garden hose

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Oy--all this colonoscopy talk is making me feel guilty. I need to go do one. Even Mr. SometimesBites had a baseline, and he is, uh...squeamish about medical procedures. My best friend works in the endoscopy lab and the female doc who's best is just wonderful. Okay--putting it on my New Year's resolution list. I'll just think about the fabulous sedation.

It's the prep that is annoying. The procedure itself is easy. At least I thought so. A lovely drug induced nap and unhealthy snack afterwards.

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I'm on deadline so I have been (allegedly) writing. Allegedly.

I haven't gone to any concert that wasn't free (i.e., in the local park) for a long time now. We either can't get tickets or don't want to spend over $100 for nosebleed seats. We don't go to sporting events, either. Let's face it, with the advent of HD flat screen TV's, it's more fun to watch from one's couch. I know where the bathroom is, the food's better, and I don't have to pay $50 to park the car.

We're in the Seattle area. There's a very good chance that the rural farming community we live in will be cut off from everyone by flooding by tomorrow. Which should (allegedly) be a great excuse to get some writing done. Allegedly.

I will be thinking of you. I am over near Brier/Mountlake Terrace and the rain has been virtually incessant for a couple of days. There is a lull right now but a stiff wind kicks up every few minutes. I was out and about in Shoreline last night and had to dodge huge puddles and streams in a parking lot. Where's my ark?

Good luck, and I hope you and yours stay dry.

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Yes the prep for the colonoscopy is beyond bad. Have a good book, good bath tissue and a clear path to the bathroom. The drink is the devils drink. But it is just a day, and the test is a breeze. My thoughts are with everyone in the floods. Be safe.

I've actually got it down to a bit of a science, as I switch to soft foods before going on the liquid diet and then the clean out.  You would be surprised how much easier that makes it.  Granted, you get sick of Greek yogurt for a while after.

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My husband had a colonoscopy last year. His dad died from colon cancer so he is at a higher risk. The scary thing was the symptoms of acute renal failure are about the same for colon cancer. He did hate the prep drink the day before, but he was alright after the test. The doctor came in and showed us pictures of the non cancerous polyps they found. Nothing like seeing those. I am not looking forward to drinking the barium solution today. I know I need to go in and get a colonoscopy, but I am a big wimp. I think I am more scared of having an IV put in my arm for the drugs to knock me out. I am a big wimp when it comes to needles, IVs, blood tests, and shots.

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It's the prep that is annoying. The procedure itself is easy. At least I thought so. A lovely drug induced nap and unhealthy snack afterwards.

I got mixed up about the prep when Mr Barb had his done. I thought he could still eat regular food the morning of the prep day so I get up & start cooking bacon. He comes into the kitchen & wants to know why I was torturing him. I explained I thought he could still eat & thought this would be a nice "last meal" but he wasn't amused. To the poster who was going to drink vodka as part of the prep liquid diet- we actually had a patient who did this. She was petrified to have colonoscopy done & kept putting it off. She said by the night of the prep day, she was as happy as could be & it lessened the fear. Not sure how she felt the next morning......

Happy & Brian - so glad to hear of your good news. What early Christmas presents for the both of you.

Magpye - what a day you must have had. I think your husband had some nerve in telling almost everyone else before you. Take care of yourself.

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The no food thing before a colonoscopy drove me mad! Yeah, you drink the drink and then you "go" and go and go and go. Then you think there's nothing left and you go and go and go and go...... But, that was merely annoying, the not eating was torture. Then! You can't leave after the procedure unless someone picks you up. Can't take a cab, have to produce a human driver. So my sister comes to get me with her then two year old in tow. Said two year old doesn't want to get in the carriage she must walk. I'm not lying it took us an hour to "walk" to the car. I was dying for a cigarette and starving. We hit the McDonalds drive thru. I ordered two fillet of fish, large fry and large Diet Coke. "You shouldn't eat that on an empty stomach" cautions my sister. "Look, if that happens we'll clean up the mess and drive thru again" was my retort. Food never tasted so good! And I do realize that at this point in my life that I can consider not eating torture, in light of all the much more serious things that can go wrong, is a sign that up until this point I've been blessed..... but, I'm due for another one soon and I'm not looking forward to it!

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magpye, I don't have any good words, but I think it's pretty crappy that your husband told other people about ending your marriage before he actually told you. I hope you'll be okay.

 

HFC, I hope daughter and the grands are back for good?

 

Ah, Versed and propofol. I had Versed before my first thyroid surgery and the nurses swore I wouldn't remember anything from the time they gave it to me (which was right before I was wheeled into the O.R.). Nope, I was fully awake and aware to the point where I even tried to climb out of the bed onto the operating table myself and surprised the heck out of everyone in there. And the anesthesiologist in my last thyroid surgery was shocked that it took so long for the propofol to knock me out. She said I'd just feel it enter my arm at the i.v. site (it burns like fire in your veins) but I could feel it spreading up my arm into my neck before I finally went under. My body has this weird resistance to knock out drugs.

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I've had a busy weekend, and a busy week so far, and still more ahead of me. Just popped in to say I hope everyone is feeling well or at least dealing with the holiday season in good spirits. I don't have time to catch up my reading today either, so I'm just praying all is mostly well with everyone. Miss you guys.

I do need to say: GUESS WHO CAME EARLY AND SURPRISED THIS OLD LADY????? My DIL was bugging the crap out of me this morning about my schedule for today, I was about ready to tell her to BUZZ OFF, but finally agreed to meet her at my other sons house for lunch (ulterior motive being the baby...). Ran by there, went straight to the kitchen to wash my hands, and when I came out, my grandchildren were all standing there with my daughter!!!!!!! I peed myself a little!!! I said later, I've cried buckets, I've missed them so so so much - and yet, you never really KNOW how big the hole in your heart is until you SEE them again. My jaw dropped to my knees and I yelled a VERY intelligent: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?????

NOTE TO SELF: Proofing before sending Is our friend

I am so happy i think we are all crying happy tears

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Wow! Colonoscopy talk! Goooooooooood morning, Vietnam!!! I thinks it's not nice to talk about how fine the drugs are once you get started on the actual test. The prep for that ought to be against the law. I've done it twice, looking for specific issues both times. I told them the last time, "look all you want, and look hard - I'm not doing this again". And I won't, either, unless I have other symptoms that make me. Whoever invented that procedure is a sadist. The test itself is nothing to the patient - you just don't care. Not at all. The recovery is pain free, but can affect people different ways. The first time, I went back to work and didn't think a thing about it. The second time, I slept the rest of the day. The test and the aftermath will never register on your radar. You will remember that prep always.

As far as I know, my daughter intends to return to Nica. Obviously I hope they see some light while here. The kids were homesick. Every time they face-timed from there, HE was sitting there listening, or actively coaching them what to say. But they sure let me have an earful yesterday without him nearby. (he's up here, but will make himself scarce around her people the whole time, and that's a plus.). I have to have a hard talk with her at some point, and I dread it enough to be sick over it. But I also can't let her return to we-need-Jesus-land without plowing and smoothing out the surface. So many lies, planted misconceptions and omissions, I can't even. I'm hoping to get some alone time soon so it doesn't simmer until they are packing to leave. Truthfully, it's hard to sacrifice my time with the kids to lay the cards down, but I need to. I have to.

I was sitting on the couch with the 2 "big" girls, who are 13 and 12 last night (both taller than me, both beautiful - no prejudice, it's TRUE!!!) one squished up under my side, the other laying across me. I said to the older one, "what did you miss most about home while you were there?" She is a thoughtful, reflective child, and she tilted her head up, considering the answer. Several people in the room went quiet and watched her, to hear what she'd say. There's a pause. And then I whispered to her "the grandparents; that's the answer". Oh my gosh, how I love my babies!!

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The test went well this morning and no signs of damage, lesions, or tumors. It was not bad at all. Only had to take one or two sips of the barium solution a couple of times, a few sips of water, chew a small piece of a cookie once, and take a half tablet of an over the counter med to see how I handle taking meds. No major problems swallowing, but they do think the radiation is causing a few problems when I do swallow . So once again, BOO!!! HISS!!! Blasted thyroid and radiation treatment. Tomorrow morning is the appointment with the ear, nose, and throat specialist.

 

And, is anyone else having problems getting on the site aka problems posting, slow or freezing pages?

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BIGSKYGIRL, Congratulations on the good report. Glad the test was easy and went well. Yes, I am also having the same troubles with the site....guess they are having issues.

MAGPYE, so sorry you are dealing with this devastating news from your husband. Been there, done that, but I was luckier.....I was at least the second to know. After his girlfriend, of course. I also didn't know how I would survive after being married over 20 years, but day by day, I did. It turns out it was the best thing that could have happened, and I have the right guy now. I really hope your future will be better, too. A new job is a great start. Hang in there, it isn't easy, but you will build a new life. Hugs.

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It's the prep that is annoying. The procedure itself is easy. At least I thought so. A lovely drug induced nap and unhealthy snack afterwards.

Ha...yeah, I've heard tell about the prep. Or maybe I should say I heard the prep. My husband had his baseline last year, and we live in a very small house.

 

TMI, even for me. /poo talk.

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I've actually got it down to a bit of a science, as I switch to soft foods before going on the liquid diet and then the clean out.  You would be surprised how much easier that makes it.  Granted, you get sick of Greek yogurt for a while after.

How does this help? Do you have to drink less of the dreaded prep?

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I've actually got it down to a bit of a science, as I switch to soft foods before going on the liquid diet and then the clean out.  You would be surprised how much easier that makes it.  Granted, you get sick of Greek yogurt for a while after.

 

Yes, I did this too and it worked very well. For me, the whole thing was nowhere near as awful as most people describe it. For 3-4 days before I was scheduled to drink my little gastro-intestinal cocktail, I basically ate baby food - Ensure, jello, soup, Greek yogurt, pudding etc. Consequently, there wasn't much left by the time the drink kicked in. IOW, not much to go-go-go. I was super-cleaned out and experienced NO discomfort at all. In fact the procedure was boring enough to put me to sleep several times. Maybe I was just lucky but I feel like being very VERY empty helped a lot.

Edited by Wellfleet
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I'm taking it over here, presumably that's ok?

Not sure if you were referring to me with regards to the free Uni? If so, then I'd hate to break it to you, but Uni's not free here at all. Granted, it's a lot less expensive than it is for you I believe, but it's not free.

Re "one system", I think you misunderstood me, understandably. In Germany, there are 3 types of schools, and regardless of extra schools, like vocational, etc, kids will first go to one of the 3 before they move on to other stuff. They are basically divided into ability, and there is no intermingling. That's what I meant with one system, I believe you only have High School for "proper" schooling. I'm not aware of anything else. You'll do your lot within that - we don't.

Isn't there a lottery for many of the places for the university pathway schools?
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Oh I forgot about the most important thing about the colonoscopy. Baby wipes. Those saved my sanity so do yourself a favor after you schedule yourself for one (you bad people who know you need one and don't wanna do it) go buy a big box of baby wipes. Well worth it.

So (standard plea here) please get one if you need one. The prep is so much better than colon cancer.

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Thank you for all the hugs, support, and prayers.  I have to say, if Smuggs has made Anna feel one-tenth of the pain I'm feeling right now, he deserves to roast in hell, and I have a new-found sympathy for what she's going through.

 

Also, why do people always feel like they need to dump you right before Christmas?  Is it just a way to twist the knife a little harder and make the hurt deeper?  If so, it's really working here.

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My BIL had 2 setbacks today, he passed out due to a vaso-vagal reaction to turning his head, he wasn't hurt and they drained fluid off the outside of one of his lungs.

Edited by BrianJ62
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Magpye, I so meant to say something to you yesterday when I read your post. I KNOW, RIGHT??? (About him doing this during the holidays!!! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!)

I'm so sorry, honey. What a creep! Did you always know he was a creep, or is this new information to you?

Also, in your original post, you said something like "although I deserve it". Is that YOU talking or HIM talking?

I can't think of a thing to make you feel better - all this holiday glitter and good cheer must make you want to puke. Time really does make it better, but you have to get through the first monstrous days before you can even breathe. If I could grant you one single thing, I would make it be March for you, because in March it's dreary anyway. Not quite winter, not quite spring. Sadly, I don't have that much power (but I'm working on it, along with the ability to zap unpleasant people with warts, body odor and tight shoes). Meanwhile, I wish you some moments of real peace, some quality sleep, and someone physically near you to be extra kind. And a big cyber hug.

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My heart goes out to you, your sister and brother in law, Brain.  And the syndrome will continue, the heart, heart failure, lungs, fluid retention around the lungs, everything.  And the poor guy doesn't even know what the heck is going on and can't judge what he wants and what he doesn't.  You and your sister, do take care of yourselves, get rest.  May the Force be with you.

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