Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[barbedwire]

I too start my Christmas shopping right after Halloween.

 

I have never heard the "Giving Tree" called the co-dependent tree, but I can see that!

[Jellybeans]

Speaking of the Giving Tree... never thought about it that way. But yesterday my roomie with leukemia yelled at me and said "f**k you, why do you always put other people's needs first?"

Well, she is young (20's) and I am 60. Plus I lost my daughter. I have a different mindset than she does. So... I give her a lot..and more, and more but I frankly do not mind or care. It takes my mind off grief. I do not let her get inside my head, instead I see I would be acting like her if I were her age and always in the hospital.

Sometimes it is good to be a giving tree. Seems like it was an old tree...so he lived out his life doing good.

[Liz Tudor]

Maybe "Enabling Tree" would be better. Yes, it's an example of selflessness, but to me, it's an allegory about if you give and give and give, people will take advantage and take until you are tapped out. Kind of like our favorite family here. Or that Ridiculous Rabbit Mom from Halloween (wonder if she would've dumped a plateful of carrots in her bag?). I give unconditionally, but I've been around the block long enough that I'm not going to let you abuse my generosity. Anyone who has done any kind of charity work has seen how that goes. Unfortunately, it can make you jaded pretty quickly, but I'm one of those who feels that if one person is reached/gets help, etc. it's worth the five who scammed you. It's THEIR conscience (or lack of) that they have to live with. Apologies if this got a little preachy, that's not my intent at all.

[Ilovemylabs]

Retired teacher here.  I used to take a nice warm bath every Sunday night in prep for the week ahead.  It relaxed all my muscles and helped me get a good night's sleep.  Since I've retired I've taken maybe 3 baths!  Showers all the way now.

[zenme]

The Giving Tree always made me sad and feeling like I don't want to be a taker. I'd rather be a giver, but like the tree, it wears on you.

I love baths, but mainly shower, and I have to wash my hair every day. I just wish I had a wash n go haircut. I've got to work on that...

[kokapetl]

My knowledge of The Giving Tree is from The Cleveland Show

"The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein.

There was a needy man, and a homosexual tree that never had the guts to make it's move. The end."

Accurate?

Edited November 4, 2015 by Kokapetl

[Jellybeans]

Funny tidbit about Shel. My dad was in the Army with him. I asked him what he was like and he said, he was just a guy. Ha!

My son has a copy of Shel's book for adults. Love it.

[burlsa]

You know what's not fun? Having to run the AC in November. It's 75*F here in mid-Michigan. It was 77*F yesterday, and tomorrow there's a high of 71*F. It's looked like summer skies, with dead leaves. It's weird.

[Jynnan tonnix]

Geez...and I was complaining about it being 71 here in CT...That being said, I may have to turn the a/c on for a little bit toward evening just to cool the bedroom down to a comfortable temperature. Opening the windows doesn't do as much as one would think. Good thing I didn't move all my summer clothes down to the basement yet.

[lookeyloo]

You know what's not fun? Having to run the AC in November. It's 75*F here in mid-Michigan. It was 77*F yesterday, and tomorrow there's a high of 71*F. It's looked like summer skies, with dead leaves. It's weird.

It is very hot here in the deep south.  I was outside sweeping up leaves and I am dripping sweat!!  Literally.  Shower vs. bath, hmmm?

[Satchels of gold]

I don't know how I missed The Giving Tree, I'm going to have to read it because my curiosity is piqued. The hands down most psychotic children's book has to be Love You Forever. Please tell me someone else has read this book? It's like it was co- written by your guilt inducing Jewish mother and Ted Bundy.

[bigskygirl]

I would not mind 71 degrees right now. The cold is making me ache all over. I have an appointment with the physician assistant Friday morning to see what the next step is.

[lookeyloo]

I would not mind 71 degrees right now. The cold is making me ache all over. I have an appointment with the physician assistant Friday morning to see what the next step is.

I commiserate with  you.  I don't like the cold.  Low thyroid, low blood volume, etc.  I can never really get warm in the winter, no matter how many layers I wear.  Cold from the inside doesn't go away with another sweater.  We were in Europe during the heat wave this summer.  Very unusual.  Our family said we would rather be uncomfortable hot vs. uncomfortable cold.  I hope you get something useful at the PA.

[neural-plasticity]

This is the first year I haven't really minded the Indiana fall chilliness. Probably because where I park on campus and where my building is is a mile walk (while hauling a backpack). If it's anything over 55, I'm drenched in sweat by the end, which is saying something because I'm almost ALWAYS cold (except at night when I get night sweats but that's a whole other issue!).

[Happyfatchick]

I guess we must be psycho, NCsocial; I have that book memorized. Forever and always, my baby you'll be. My kids loved it too. (Probably because they can actually envision me coming over with a ladder on top of my car.). Once when I taught a married couples SS class, I had a little girl all fluffed out (curly hair and a big bow, crinolines) to come in and read that to us on Mother's Day. Grown men were crying. She was soooo serious,reading that book, and enunciating every single word carefully. She paused after every single page to turn the book around and pan the crowd with illustrations. Nobody hated it around here for sure. It's ridiculous, yes, but I thought at its core, it was a little book about a mother's never ending love for her child. I'm not arguing, because I'm sure you're about to tell me why it's bad, bad, bad. I'm glad my kids aren't here to see the reasoning behind the dislike. They all loved it. I think, even though it was not obtainable, it was something they WANTED to believe - that no matter where they were in life, I would always think of them as my babies. And they are.

My youngest was just rooting around in his storage boxes for his copy the other day, he has a baby coming in Dec.

[BitterApple]

It's in the low 50s here in Vegas with heavy rain this morning. I was actually supposed to have jury duty today but my group got cancelled *happy dance*. I really didn't want to schlep downtown and try to find parking in a downpour.

[Happyfatchick]

That's it: I AM PSYCHOTIC. Loved Bambi too. You know what I remember most about Bambi? The amazing artwork in that film. At the very beginning, when the scenery opens into the woods, oh my gosh, to think someone DREW that was just startling to me, as a child. I wasn't a "little" kid, we just didn't go to movies much (outside the budget) when I was little. I was probably 10 or so the first time I saw it, and I remember very well my back pressing into my seat in awe. I've always wanted to watch that opening sequence in slo-mo so I could see it all.

[barbedwire]

Thumper.  I adore Thumper, that is why I like Bambi.

 

But I agree about "Love You Forever" - creepy book.

[Lemur]

Geez...and I was complaining about it being 71 here in CT...That being said, I may have to turn the a/c on for a little bit toward evening just to cool the bedroom down to a comfortable temperature. Opening the windows doesn't do as much as one would think. Good thing I didn't move all my summer clothes down to the basement yet.

 

Yeah, I removed all of my window units a couple of weeks ago.  At least it's cool at night.

Thumper.  I adore Thumper, that is why I like Bambi.

 

But I agree about "Love You Forever" - creepy book.

Wasn't Love You Forever written for a child that died?  Or was stillborn?  Something like that.

 

I don't have kids, but that book always creeped me out.  Not so much the writing but the illustrations.  And the watch ending up in the toilet.  That really pissed me off.

Edited November 4, 2015 by Lemur

[amitville]

You are not alone. I hate that book for the same reason I didn't like "Bambi" - as a child, "Bambi" was traumatizing. Just too sad for a child - WHY clutter a sweet child's mind with such pathos?

I am 56 years old.  My father had to take me out of Bambi  when i was 8  It really was traumatizing to me.  To this day i remember crying for days over that scence.  I still have never seen the movie. 

[Satchels of gold]

I guess we must be psycho, NCsocial; I have that book memorized. Forever and always, my baby you'll be. My kids loved it too. (Probably because they can actually envision me coming over with a ladder on top of my car.). Once when I taught a married couples SS class, I had a little girl all fluffed out (curly hair and a big bow, crinolines) to come in and read that to us on Mother's Day. Grown men were crying. She was soooo serious,reading that book, and enunciating every single word carefully. She paused after every single page to turn the book around and pan the crowd with illustrations. Nobody hated it around here for sure. It's ridiculous, yes, but I thought at its core, it was a little book about a mother's never ending love for her child. I'm not arguing, because I'm sure you're about to tell me why it's bad, bad, bad. I'm glad my kids aren't here to see the reasoning behind the dislike. They all loved it. I think, even though it was not obtainable, it was something they WANTED to believe - that no matter where they were in life, I would always think of them as my babies. And they are.

My youngest was just rooting around in his storage boxes for his copy the other day, he has a baby coming in Dec.

Wow! just wow. It wasn't meant as a personal assault. Edited November 4, 2015 by nc socialworker

[Jellybeans]

I am 56 years old.  My father had to take me out of Bambi  when i was 8  It really was traumatizing to me.  To this day i remember crying for days over that scence.  I still have never seen the movie.

My son had the same reaction to Dumbo and the Lion King. My daughter freaked out over The Stepford Children (no idea she was watching it) and La Bamba left her crying for three days.

It is hard to know what will affect anyone.

[Missy Vixen]

I don't know how I missed The Giving Tree, I'm going to have to read it because my curiosity is piqued. The hands down most psychotic children's book has to be Love You Forever. Please tell me someone else has read this book? It's like it was co- written by your guilt inducing Jewish mother and Ted Bundy.

:bows my head in shame:

I actually asked the minister to read "Love You Forever" at my mom's funeral. She wasn't driving around with a ladder on top of her car, but I found the book moving.

[Liz Tudor]

I had to read "Love You Forever" for my children's & YA class in library school. I hadn't read it before then, and it creeped me and some of my classmates out. But there were other folks in the class who loved it. We had a lively discussion, and it the end came to the consensus that it's a polarizing book, for sure, you either love it or hate it. I got the Norman Bates vibe. I do understand the feeling behind it, but it just didn't hit my sentimental spot.

[Jellybeans]

I have never heard of Love you Forever. And The Giving Tree, well, it has a happy ending for both. :-)

[MarysWetBar]

That's it: I AM PSYCHOTIC. Loved Bambi too. You know what I remember most about Bambi? The amazing artwork in that film. At the very beginning, when the scenery opens into the woods, oh my gosh, to think someone DREW that was just startling to me, as a child. I wasn't a "little" kid, we just didn't go to movies much (outside the budget) when I was little. I was probably 10 or so the first time I saw it, and I remember very well my back pressing into my seat in awe. I've always wanted to watch that opening sequence in slo-mo so I could see it all.

Apparently my mother had to haul my wriggling wailing sobbing carcass out of the theater during Bambi. I lost my sh $* when Bambi's mother took the bullet train.

Edited November 4, 2015 by MarysWetBar

[Almost 3000]

I didn't like a lot of Disney and for that matter many animal TV shows as a kid. In the fifties and sixties animals didn't fare well. I found it very stressful. I rather liked Perry Mason tho and had a knack for guessing the murderer.

[kathe5133]

Dead parents seem to me to be a Disney theme. I've never seen Bambi or the Lion King, for that reason. And don't get me started on Old Yeller! It seems cheap to play on a child's emotions. People die. That is reality. We all suffer that loss at some point. I do not see mourning as any sort of entertainment.

[GeeGolly]

Neither the Giving Tree nor Love You Forever were big hits in our home. As far as Shel Silverstein my kids did like Where the Sidewalk Ends, and I think he wrote the song ... I can't remember the title, but part of the lyrics are; We are big rock singers, we got golden fingers, and we love everywhere we go. Maybe it's called Cover of the Rolling Stones?

 

As far as movies, my daughter had 'watched' ET a number of times with her older brother when she was a toddler. Then when she was about 4 years old they were watching it again. She came into the kitchen with a very serious face and said, "Mommy I don't think this movie is appropriate for me to watch". I could barely keep a straight face due to her using the word appropriate and the fact that she was so serious about 'my lack of judgement'.

[Love2dance]

So, I just realized that I am "liking" many posts that have completely differing opinions, and I have apparently morphed the "like" button into my very own "I hear what you are saying" button. Sorry Mark Zuckerberg.

[kalamac]

Kids are weird. My niece was an avid X-Files fan from the time she was 3, and none of it scared her, but she couldn't watch the Reboot episode with the fighting cartoon skeletons, because that freaked her out.

[Tabbygirl521]

My 70 year-old mother and her 70 year-old friends dressed up and went trick-or-treating for shots of booze. Apparently that's a thing in their (retirement) community. You're never too old, I guess?

I love this. And I happily give candy to anyone who makes the effort to show up in costume. Teens, oldsters - I don't care.

Apparently my mother had to haul my wriggling wailing sobbing carcass out of the theater during Bambi. I lost my sh $* when Bambi's mother took the bullet train.

Me too! I think I was 5. I totally lost it in the theatre. I am still a total mess with anything where animals are in danger (yet I watch Investigation Diacovery day and night. I am not well). I was not allowed to even watch "Lassie" because every episode, I would melt down, no matter how patiently my mom tried to convey to me that Lassie was the star of the show, and had to return next week.

[Satchels of gold]

I love this. And I happily give candy to anyone who makes the effort to show up in costume. Teens, oldsters - I don't care.

Me too! I think I was 5. I totally lost it in the theatre. I am still a total mess with anything where animals are in danger (yet I watch Investigation Diacovery day and night. I am not well). I was not allowed to even watch "Lassie" because every episode, I would melt down, no matter how patiently my mom tried to convey to me that Lassie was the star of the show, and had to return next week.

OMG someone who shares my Lassie trauma! I was eventually banned from watching because I would get so distraught. I thought I was the only one.

[CalicoKitty]

Ah, Bambi.  I remember becoming so hysterical and crying so loudly I had to be removed from the movie.  I never watched it again.

 

Speaking of tearjerkers..the movie that makes me cry EVERY time is "Imitation of Life", especially the remake from the '50's with Sandra Dee as the daughter.  Saddest movie ever.

 

(Please excuse any typing mistakes; I still only have 9 usable fingers).

[Happyfatchick]

Oh NC, I didn't think you did (mean it to be personal). I was just reflecting on what made it special to ME. (I don't really care much what other people think about my reading materials, hence I read this blog about the Duggars - ha!!!). I AM curious why you thought it psychotic. I really do want to know that. And this because I'm afraid of being gullible. I don't mind being ho-hum and not reading philosophy for pleasure, but I don't want to be gullible. What did I miss?

Edited because I don't want wellfleet grading my grammar!

Edited November 5, 2015 by Happyfatchick

[Jenniferbug]

Lemur, I can't quote from my Kindle, but yes, I think Love You Forever was written after multiple miscarriages and a stillborn son. If I remember correctly, he and his wife were having trouble coping with not being able to watch their babies grow up. Maybe that makes it even creepier to some of you, but I think it's just heartbreaking. We own a copy of the book but have never read it to our girls, as neither my husband nor I can read it without bawling, especially since we heard why he wrote it.

I've never seen Bambi and I only remember seeing Dumbo once and crying the whole time. I still can't watch that as an adult. I also cried during An American Tail and The Land Before Time. Why ARE so many children's movies about the loss of a parent? And don't get me started on Up, which I saw when I was 26 years old. Cried and cried through the beginning of the movie, and while the rest of it was cute, I've refused to ever watch it again. A friendly acquaintance of mine just loves it- she says that's life and the intro is touching. I say I watch movies (especially kid's movies) to be entertained, not to be reminded of the struggles of real life. Obviously, YMMV :-)

[Satchels of gold]

Oh NC, I didn't think you did (mean it to be personal). I was just reflecting on what made it special to ME. (I don't really care much what other people think about my reading materials, hence I read this blog about the Duggars - ha!!!). I AM curious why you thought it psychotic. I really do want to know that. And this because I'm afraid of being gullible. I don't mind being ho-hum and not reading philosophy for pleasure, but I don't want to be gullible. What did I miss?

Edited because I don't want wellfleet grading my grammar!

No harm, no foul. It's always hard to read the emotion behind the post. My sincere apologies ma lady (bows at waist ).

[MargeGunderson]

My parents took me to see Bambi when I was about 5. Apparently a child sitting near us didn't understand what happened to Bambi's Mom and asked why Bambi was upset. I answered very loudly "Bambi's Mommy got shot, dummy!" Inappropriate laughter from the adults around us ensued.

I can't watch The Incredible Journey. Nope, still can't do it.

[pippity j]

I need to regress to Halloween for a moment to get this off of my chest.A big pet peeve of mine is rude children.Well rude anyone.I always said it didn't matter so much what my kids grew up to be as long as they were happy but they would have good manners.Maybe my grandson has something to do with my slight change of heart.He is autistic and was non verbal for many years then was just not very vocal except for his tantrums(which I admit I am not able to handle because I am a if you can't behave be gone person).My daughter celebrated the fact that he had clothes on at all forget the costume,but she wanted him to try the experience.So he was the not dressed up child that never said thank you.Her other kids have great manners and he does now for the most part all these years later.I also must say if he did go up to a door and hold his bag open my daughter did say thank you for him.She was overjoyed that he did it.So now I try and remember there are some that can't help the way they are.Please I mean no offence or disrespect,and I know that some are just plain rude.For them I will make no excuse and will call them on it.I just hope I don't do it to the wrong child.I meant this for my own peace of mind not to point fingers at anyone.

 

I can remember when I took all three of my kids to a movie and my oldest one had tears just rolling down her cheeks and I could hear her sniffling at Lady and the Tramp.

[Almost 3000]

On a sad note or maybe not Socality Barbie is dead.

[NewDigs]

Well said.

And I will never forget the spaghetti scene.

ETA Oops. Responding to chunky junky.

Edited November 5, 2015 by NewDigs

[Wellfleet]

Showers all the way for me. Haven't taken a bath since I was 12 or 13, the early 70s. I just prefer the feeling of cooties and dirt sloughing off me and swirling down the drain. Although I'm much "greener" than I once was. Now I scrub up with the water off, getting all clean and soapy first. Then I stand under a solid drenching rinse of the hottest water I can comfortably tolerate for a couple of minutes. Uses much less water but feels great.

[zenme]

Kids have to be taught to say "please" and "thank you." They don't just come out of the womb doing so. I made sure my kids did, and make sure my nephews do when they're with me. I have much more patience where that is concerned when the kids are strangers than with my own. I KNOW mine know better, but not sure every other kid is taught.

[crazycatlady58]

I also cannot watch many childrens movies without embarrassing my self. Just to give fair warning if anyone ever wants you to watch. " All mine to give" run do not walk away! Saddest movie ever! A box of Kleenex ( large) sad.

[zenme]

The story of The Little Match Girl brings tears to my eyes every time.

Edited November 5, 2015 by zenme

[StaceyNotStacie]

I haven't seen a lot of the earlier kids movies.  My kids are middle school aged, so we've seen a handful of the movies that have come out over the past seven or eight years.  I have boys, so they have no interest in the Disney princess movies; Minions and Ice Age movies are more of their thing.  The one that always gets me is Toy Story 3.  That final scene with Andy leaving for college gets me every time.

[zenme]

I cried too! When it came out my kids were moving away to college too. I don't think I can watch it again.

[Wellfleet]

There are only three movies GUARANTEED to make me cry - Dumbo, Saving Private Ryan and My Dog Skip.

 

PS - If you've never heard of My Dog Skip, I can't recommend it enough. It's a true story, as the saying goes, of a boy and his dog. And it's terrific. The boy is the now-legendary literary editor Willie Morris, growing up during WWII in Mississippi, and how his life changed when his parents got him a Jack Russell terrier. Diane Lane, Kevin Bacon. Wonderful soundtrack too. I think it was one of those direct-to-video movies because I never saw anything about it being in theaters. But I promise you, your eyes will leak...

Edited November 5, 2015 by Wellfleet

[MarysWetBar]

Ok this is actually hilarious. When my brother and i were little kids, this show called Family Affair was on the air. There was one episode where someone stole Jodys lunchbox. My lil bro and i were literally howling like dogs..upset he was going to be hungry for the rest of the school day. We must have loved our nom noms...haha

Love You Forever makes me cry everytime. I'm a simple girl. Good Night Moon was also a fave at bedtime here.

[Missy Vixen]

And don't get me started on Up, which I saw when I was 26 years old. Cried and cried through the beginning of the movie, and while the rest of it was cute, I've refused to ever watch it again. A friendly acquaintance of mine just loves it- she says that's life and the intro is touching. I say I watch movies (especially kid's movies) to be entertained, not to be reminded of the struggles of real life. Obviously, YMMV :-)

I can't watch the first 15 minutes of UP without ugly crying. I know it's coming. I tell myself to be tough. And when I see that couple so devoted to each other and he loses her, here comes the waterworks. The screenwriter (and the animator) deserved every bit of the praise they got; it is incredibly hard to tell any character's backstory and not slow the movie (or the novel) down to nothing.

 

Another ugly crying tearfest: Last year's Apple commercial with the teenage boy who makes a video about his family's holiday on his iPhone and shows it to them. OMG. I think they should have partnered with Kleenex.